Monologue: Dueling Grandpas | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2024
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Bill recaps the top stories of the week, including Joe Biden and Donald Trump's dueling televised town halls.
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Кино
“Lindsey Graham is in charge of the music” 🤣🤣
😂😂😂👍
Lindsey GAYem!!!
And McConnell does the choreography
Notice the overuse /repeating of "actually", "basically", "obviously" by TV talking heads? Learn more about the reasons and about a well funded hate /smear campaign @ facebook.com/ColePhoenixWolvesforHire -- Allegedly -- A similar NBC News 20/20 story can be found here, on RUclips (Organized Stalking in Hubbard, Ohio.)
Ive never had a bad nightmare as bad as being awake for the last 4 years.
I thought I just slipped into a different timeline in 2016. Fuck this parralel universe
AMEN!!!!
I know. You’re not alone.
Ur life hasn’t changed at all probably. Liberals are so dramatic lol
@@TheBaptist07 you’ve got to be kidding. OR you’re a Russian bot. I’m thinking Russian bot as we in the U.S. are living a nightmare that hopefully soon will be over.
"If you want to make Mike Pence nervous, stare at his fly" Brilliant!!
Ani Hanagud 🙄... cracked me up 😅😂.
Lol....I also suggest make him stand next to a woman when his wife is not around...
ruclips.net/video/g3Z-_RmzxYM/видео.html
you do realise if joe wins india will be sanctioned and the it industry that landed you in usa will be annihilated right? dems are anti Hindu
@@skandakumar2457 who said I'm in the US? And, did the IT industry in India die during the 8 years of Obama?
“You’re the president you’re not someone’s crazy uncle”.. He's the crazy uncle! His niece wrote the book!😆😁😂
Yes, Bill says that @2:12
That's the line of this campaign
The Toucan and his imbecil moron audience.
Al Psychology is pseudo science? 😂 Are you a scientologist?
that's FAKE NEWS! He is the crazy grandpa! Not uncle
"who passes out on crack?" I'm dying here. lol
Hunter biden where ever he is right now: *SNIFF did someone say crack
cajun: These days sometimes it gets cut with fentanyl, which is a much stronger narcotic than heroin.
@ME Rivera that's not truetrump maga awesome(nah I'm just playing) I dislike them both Im not voting biden or trump can't support a segargationist racist go 3rd party
ruclips.net/video/g3Z-_RmzxYM/видео.html
Emblemed fate green?
I own a computer repair business and if anyone working for me read a customers email I would fire them and report them to the authorities for privacy violation.
The computer was abandon for a long period. Legally the computer belonged to the repair shop. Before you say that's not a law please review law in Delaware, the state the repair occurred. Also......according to the tone my assumption is that bill here does not believe you own a repair shop.....laughs at the notion that your business exists.
@@ZarathosDarkblade As with most states abandonment laws kick in after 5 years. For any time shorter you need to contact the person and get permission to either recycle of up-cycle the computer. If the computer shop did not have a name, address and phone number, thus just waited for the man to return; well they aren't much of a business. Also, even if the customer gives permission to keep the computer in anyway that does not give permission to look at all of their emails.
@Matthew Huszarik I'm an independent and know stupid people of all demographics including Republican and Democratic. I don't know many that understand the Political Matix. www.politicalcompass.org/
@@misterbill2 I'm from Texas and we can take your CAR after 60 days. Including everything you left in it. It's not abandoned, its services rendered without payment. I imagine there was contact information collected but you ever try to get what you're owed from a crack head?
@@ZarathosDarkblade You are referring to Texas laws concerning tenant abandonment laws. For other property abandonment they person/customer must be contacted and given the opportunity to reclaim. This can include up to sending certified mail and waiting for it to return as deliverable.
"Blind technician read the emails." Only Guiliani can come up with that!!
My BLIND mother worked for almost 40 years as a computer programmer. No joke. She used Jaws a program that reads what is on the screen and a device that created a refreshing braille display.
Prior to some eye surgery, I was legally blind, but thick glasses gave me 20-20 vision. Legally blind is not what people think it means.
"If you want to make Mike Pence nervous, stare at his fly." LOL
Bill's best line this YEAR!
@@thesoundsmith Benedict Donald and ilk are looking for a way to Russia and asylum with big pimp'n Putin.
😾🤳🍊🐷🤡➕🥗〰➰〰😨🤢🤮😱🥶💀☠⚰⚰⚰🥀
Bill is so good, i had to watch this twice to get all the jokes.
Hahahaha 🙃
Black flies matter.
I loved the joke about Trump ending his rallies with the song "YMCA - A gay anthem about hooking up at the Y ". "This tells me two things: Trump doesn't know what the song is about, and Lindsey Graham is in charge of the music"!
Brill!
A fly goes into a debate and says, "Is this stool taken?"
Thats hilarious.
Thank you! Are you auditioning for a writing job on Bill's show?
OMG Kiki, I just nearly died laughing! 😂🤣😂
Just blew coffee out my nose.
🤣🤣
"Suburban women.. please like me!" is just Donnie stealing Jeb's "Please clap..."
And it worked out about as well.
I had forgotten about the “please clap”. So cringe!!
GOP in Florida Requested and were granted a second inspection of signatures. How petty Republications are and how committed they are to voter suppression.
This is the correct way to learn what’s going on in the US in the past 4 years.
I really appreciate how aggressive he is as a Liberal. We need more Progressives/Liberals like him.
With the state of our news media, it's really the only way 😕
Just a friendly reminder:
A few days after Halloween is the best time to throw away the orange pumkin(g)! VOTE!!!
🖐️🇺🇸🖐️🇺🇸🖐️😷🖐️✌️🇺🇸
That big fat pumpkin started rotting a long time ago.
Love it!!! BLUE 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
another orange man bad joke----stunning. brave.
Replace the pumpkin for a corrupt senile globalist is not much of an option.
It's YMCA and Fortunate Son they keep playing, a song about the sort of guys who can get out of the draft.
Biden received 5 deferments for the draft. One was for him having asthma, even though he played high school football and was a lifeguard,...ask Cornpop!
@@stevenjeffrey4637 I'll see you Trump's 5 deferments, 3 affairs alone while married, federal fraud while applying for RE loans, defrauding university students, and double down with Hatch Act violations and obstruction of justice!
@@stevenjeffrey4637 So what?
@@geol1936 Yeah,..I am sure we can both come up with long lists of shortcoming, failures, and mistakes on both of these guys,..and that is my point,.one is not much better than the other. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy of people calling Trump a draft dodger when Biden is as well.
Mmm...
.m..m..mmmmmm.mmmm.m...m
..m...Mmm.m.
.......
,? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
When just about every other artist has threatened to sue trump for playing their music without their permission....trump ends up at the YMCA
He was on NBC and he was on ABC and I was on THC 😂😂🤣PRICELESS
🇺🇸🖐️😷🖐️😆✌️
Bill Maher needs to shut up about weed. The US legalized "Marihuana" to make equipment for the military during World War II: catalog.archives.gov/id/1682
ruclips.net/video/bIxFhYVv_Gk/видео.html
Legalizing "Marihuana" now will make PPE for hospital staff during a pandemic, and stop climate change:
crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/RL/RL32725
www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/house-bill/3652
www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/senate-bill/3174
Will Bill Maher ever use his platform to explain this to the public? No, it doesn't appear likely. That's why Bill Maher needs to shut up about weed.
@@Marijuanifornia Omgosh go away! You're a buzz kill and I don't even smoke
@AmplifiedSilence I'll say this.. I don't smoke myself but I have NEVER EVER EVER seen on the news, heard anyone walking the streets say, they are going to harm someone for a joint! Bruh, you can find the change to get one in your couch lol.. I don't like the smell but never had a negative reaction with someone high and I'm 43! I mean I've tried it dozens of times but it literally hates me!! Lol.. I surpass hungry and happy and please out within 7mins!😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
@@Swnsasy Even the people who work in the Cannabis industry have never heard of weed being legalized to fight the Nazis.
That's an important fact, since the US would've lost the war without weed and then everything that we know now would not exist.
If you really want a "buzz kill", think about all of the people who have been beaten or shot by the cops over some weed in the war on drugs, and then understand that we're actually not a free country if our government is killing us over the same thing that saved us.
ruclips.net/video/71FveedEmkg/видео.html
Let's make him a *1-term president.*
Help!!!!,🇺🇸,Vote,Please help save us!🇺🇸
But, at least he'll go down as a President...
@shawn hughes I think he should get 3 terms and a presidential star ship.
@shawn hughes I know. That was tongue-in-cheek. Don Jr. has been chanted "46!" What're they going to do with Pence?
@shawn hughes he's been an "ASS" all his miserable life. Be very very careful what you say here online.
It's "Best crazy uncle", Bill. 🤣🤣
Every republican president has given a recession but this takes the cake 🎂
When will Americans learn ?
Americans learn? Ha .... never.
🖐️😷🖐️🇺🇸😆
@ME Rivera +1
You would probably like my playlist....
"sooo you wanna repair laptops?"
"Yes"
"Any experience or skills?"
"I'm blind"
"Great! Start tomorrow!"
gaming with kev
Hunter : Blind? Great
My sister is legally blind, owned and operated a computer repair shop and was the first person to complete an A+ certification in our county. know it's just a joke, just thought I'd throw that out there. There's a huge difference between legally blind and totally blind.
100% chance that the laptop, and everything in it comes straight out of one of those Russian troll farm's IT dept.
NO.
Rudy should be arrested for treason against America. Hes literally helping Russia (as a russuan asset ) undermine the democracy.
*2016: Hillary's emails*
*2020: Hunter Biden's emails*
(Fun fact: I didn't have to type in the word "emails" -- autocorrect suggested it after I typed in each name 🤦♂️)
Yessss 🖐️👍
@NATHEN MARTIN fbi took a year to investigate Hillary's emails. They often sit on things before the public is notified. Doesn't mean they're politically biased.
MAHER IS MUCH LIKE A HOOKER WITH A RUNNY NOSE , FULL . . THAT'S SO FUNNY I HAD TO LAUGH TWICE
Bill is the only man I hear that doesn't sound like he's trying to sell me something. What makes him so damn funny is he's telling the truth, no political bullshit.
You sum up what I couldn't have described myself.
@@kanezwilliams8211 a lot of people know the truth is funnier than lies. Glad I could write down what most of bill's viewers think.
Bill is a hack
This aged beautifully liberaltard
Let’s not talk down Good Grandpa we want Biden to Win and people going to the polls enthusiastically!!!!Thank You Bill, Love the show
A legally blind computer repairman found a "defective" laptop at a recycling center and found out the incriminating e-mails about Hunter Biden!? Sounds like "Family Guy" episode of Peter Griffin.
Best Bill Maher I've seen in a long time. Good to hear!
It’s hard to compare Donny’s insane act to anything else. So I’ll take good grandpa any day.
Senile Joe is far from good.
But then again maybe you just like crime families that specialize in extortion.
I don’t think he voted for Donald Trump, dude.
Trump isn't a "disrupter". He's an idiot, driving us off a cliff
@TripleHerbals Unless you make a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you are objectively worse off than you were four years ago or you are lying. The economic data and numbers don't lie.
Biden'll sell you to China first.
Thank you!🖐️😷🖐️🇺🇸😆
Well that really shakes up traffic. Plus eventually, all those crushed cars at the bottom of the ravine will form a bridge.
Mr. painful Truth Trump is crazy like dangerous and out of control crazy! I do not trust Donald Trump because his back is up against the wall he built out of his crimes and lies against America and his TREASON THAT IS DESTROYING OUR REPUTATION IN THIS WORLD! TRUMP IS THE MOST SELFISH MAN ALONG WITH THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN THE WORLD 🌎 As Mary Trump has warned us and since She is is Niece a LICENSED PHYCOLOGIST WHO IS TRAINED AND UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL IN HIS FAMILY SHE TOLD US IN HER BOOK 📖 “TOO MUCH BUT NEVER ENOUGH “, STATING HE IS DANGEROUS AND EVIL 😈! WE MUST GET RID OF TRUMP BY PUTTING HIM IN A PLACE TO PROTECT OUR COUNTRY AND OUR DEMOCRACY AND PEOPLE OF AMERICA! SOS
The Taliban endorsed Trump for president. I guess Trump would say:
'' The Taliban love me and I love them more. I get along with the Taliban and they get along with me. The Taliban say great things about me and I say great things about them, Allahu Akbar! and Muhammad( peace be upon him) was a billionaire!... The Taliban are beautiful people, tough people, great people, smart cookies, tremendous warriors the likes of which the world has never seen before.
Keep America great!
Make the Taliban great again!"
🤣🤣🤣
You know that was a debunked story, it shows the level of deceit media plays on people.
Great post😆.
Strongly funny, SIR!
"I saw this Taliban fighter, big guy, tough guy.. ..and he was crying. Yep, bawling his eyes out because he was so happy that I'm president. I just wanted to kiss him."
~ said nobody, ever.
Once again, brilliant bill.
Bill Maher is the best of the best !!!
Trump: "Biden is old (3 years diff)"
Trump: "I am older than Melania only by a little bit (30 yeard diff)"
Trump's theory of time dilation
He’s from 1946 and she’s from 1970. So, 24 years.
trump: “I’m very very young”
@@greenbrain8725 but he looks 50 yrs older and acts like an infant.
@@pegbradley1991 very true.
Biden is about to turn 78. So if he wins, he would be the age Trump would be if he leaves office after a second term. Biden would be starting his first term. Pretty silly to elect Biden and he is senile and compromised and corrupt.
YMCA is also how Trump supporters spell in the alphabet.
At least where not shills for the political establishment and supporters of authoratarian statists
You sir are the rebel you think you are
As opposed to LGBTQ
@@HappyWolverine Your spelling also needs to find a good alphabet.
No thats where they live after their trailors are repossessed
@@elmerfudd5193 Would you know Elmer the Safety Elephant (in the room) by any chance?
Ok the last part about the fly, that’s gold jerry gold!
Viva Bill Maher !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The “laptop” is a Russian Operation through Crazy Rudy.
Time to change the tin foil in your hat
@75joev yet nobody is refuting that it's HIS laptop. His lawyer, as dumb as he might be, actually asked for the laptop back. Why request back something that isn't yours? Because it is!
Americans are basing their vote on Trump's handling of the covid crisis, and how many people are presently out of work. That's deciding the election, not Hunter Biden.
@@gallery7596 Americans don’t like corruption. Biden is the swamp
@@gallery7596 Obama's Administration was the Scandal-free presidency. That is exactly what CNN and MSNBC tell their viewers. Herd Stupidity at its best. The Obama administration and the Russian collusion hoax was created by them. NYPOST story about Hunter Biden? Coverage? CNN and MSNBC viewers are brainwashed by the Democratic Party's propaganda machines.
He's Our Crazy President... much harder to ignore at Thanksgiving.
ruclips.net/video/g3Z-_RmzxYM/видео.html
Yes, if Trump wins, every American Thanskgiving will be Civil War without ebd.
Love you, Bill!
I LLLLOVE YOUR HAIR. THEWHITE GLARING. They must have read my mind... LOL. Keep that stylist they're FABULOUS!!!!
If you don’t feel like you’re living in a wacky world after 4 years of a trump presidency just think what it will be like if that wackadoodle wins another term 🤪
Another 6 thousand dollars of each family a year.
- you a business tycoon?
@Starr Davis divorce his ass before it’s too late lol
It's a horrific thought. Can't imagine another 4 years of this.
We’ll have to build bigger asylums. And many of them. First we’ll all go nuts and then...
Maher definitely is the funniest of the centrist, Democrat establishment comedians. 😂😂😂
Time for you to come to the center
@JSP-147 - It's funny you say that, since polling of the American public in general shows overwhelming support for progressive policies: Overwhelming support for Medicare, overwhelming support for gun control measures, overwhelming support for removing corporate money from politics, overwhelming support for action on climate change. Just check the polls and do some research. Americans are becoming more and more progressive every day. 👍
Most of the country are moderates. Progressives are not the future. I pray progressive get the limelight more so most voters can learn more of their insane policies.
@@shaneyd1986 Progressives are and have always been the future. Virtually every helpful thing we have in society today was fought for by progressives at one time or another. Including the end of slavery by the progressive Republican Party.
@@shaneyd1986 - No, most of the country call themselves moderates. When you poll people issue for issue, most are surprisingly progressive.
That large belt buckles thing is true
Bill Maher: Genius at work!
i dunno, until I see proof this whole hunter thing just sounds like trump projection on steroids
Crack.
Isn't it bs from Giuliani and Bannon?
Who believes them?
@@davidm5707 Tucker Carlson.
Even if by some crazy chance it's all true, what does it matter??? I'd still vote for the crack pipe over trump. Who gives a shit what his son did? Get him help. Meanwhile trumps little grifter leeches are bleeding the country dry. Let's talk about that.
@@bluecappy Let's.
Trump is NOT on bath salts. He is, however, on Corta-steroids, which is also a drug that causes insanity. Seriously.
According to Trump’s leaky nose, he’s probably on something else too
That steriod after about 10 days also cause's a serious burning itch around the anus. (We Hope)
So that's how he is going to avoid jail time...plead insanity.
I took that streroid a couple of years ago for a few weeks. I didn't behave anything like that. Seriously I called people to ask, when I saw Trump going off the rails. The steroids making you THAT unwell is a rare side effect. I honestly think his default state is being mentally unstable.
Corticosteroids.
This is hilarious, Bill Maher is great.
❤❤❤❤ Bill..he tells it like it is!😂
How much did it cost to tax-payers for 278 visits to golf course which Trump took since inauguration?
141 millions!
This is so utterly insane it is beyond words.
well, if you bothered to fact check you'd realised even the cynical and often funny Bill Maher is spinning things for you. It's fine as entertainment but don't take this stuff as facts.
Man, I miss you so much,Bill, we need you!!! Thank you for the video!!! No bots allowed robots 🤖
Savanah really took Trump to task! She said to him what we've all been wanting someone to say. LOVED IT!
Bill Maher is a funny guy but he still just another brick in the wall.
This is a binary choice so as Steven Stills sang, “Love the One You’re With” and folks we are with Joe Biden. Vote!
(and if you cant be with the one you EFF honey) EFF the one you're with EFF the one you're with'
🖐️🙃🖐️🇺🇸❣️🇺🇸❣️🇺🇸❣️
@ME Rivera 😆
@ME Rivera hahaha! You got me good
You funny brilliant man! Thank you again. Your witty brain makes my day.
"...and [Miss] Lindsey Graham is in charge of the music"....oh my god....I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard.
Maher always lifts my spirits. I just hope when Joe gets in there he fights!
Matlock was not on, in the 70s. Lol
KOYBE BRYANTS LAST WORDS " I'TS CHILLY IN HERE , TURN OFF THE CELING FAN " ,,,,, LOL LOL LOL ,,, THAT'S FUNNY BILL , LOL LOL LOL ,,,, GOT A BETTER ONE ?
Hahahahahahahaha OMG Bil is TRULY Hilarious .
Hey people in the States: when your president dances is when you reach peak populism. I'm from South America, we know a thing or two about that sort of things.
I take my computer to a shop for servicing. My most recent repair was two months ago.
And they do go through your stuff.
Excellent. That there still are people out there supporting trump after these 4 years is mindboggling
OMG THIS MONOLOGUE HAD TO BE THE BEST!!! THE BLIND MAN FIXING THE COMPUTER
You can't go anywhere with this Clown. - Biden on Trump during debate
Kafka-esque: 2020 in a nutshell.
THANK YOU for NOT clapping and screaming every few seconds. Last week was excruciating to listen to.
I love this dude 😂😍👍
I have known quite a few "crazy uncles" and one of them was mine. Mostly they were cool, so my problem with Trump is not that he's one too, but rather that he is cruel as well as being a liar, cheat, thief, bully, bigot, racist, misogynist, and an ignorant narcist to boot. Besides that he is ridiculed by our allies, surrounds himself with sycophants, has ridiculous hair and walks around with toilet paper on his shoe!, need I mention his "tan" He would be an endearing comedic sit com character but not in real life. In this reality he is a danger to us all.
Biden's all we got. VOTE!!!
Ya like rice dumplings?
@thought criminal Who'll be Veep then?
This clip is hilarious!!!😂
Best monologue in a long time. Thank you.
Drinking game! Take a shot every time Bill claps his hands together.
I’m distracted now
@@duprestreet 😂
And when Trump plays the air accordion.
It should be clear to most people that the only option is to vote for Biden & Harris. If this is not clear to you, seek medical help. You may be missing your brain...
You are correct happy Friday 💕
And thats why Trump wins again...
@Pilot Forever You’re gonna get one or the other.
@@sunshine3914
We will get the one this country desirves regardless. ..It's the best we can do anymore?
"unruly behavior will not be tolerated"
yes they should have put tulsi gabbard for their win. it's a total mistake. especially harris is very wrong choice.
This shit is too funny, had to listen to it twice. 🤣🤣🤣
I guess Bill just throws away his broken computer and buys a new one
I'm wondering if the real reason Bill left Hawaii was that he and his friends had smoked up all the weed in Oceania. Joking. We should all be just saying *NO!!!* to the values of our crazy-assed president.
Thank God for THC
LOL bruh this was great material. lol nice lol
Smoked through the whole town hall too!😤
Lol 😂 the YMCA sung that trump play’s every event lol so true!!! No bots allowed robots 🤖
If they send anything about Hunter it's because trumps kids tried it! 🤣
Maybe incriminating emails? It's very straight forward
" whose legs got caught in a fishing net "
Half the time I almost want to cry
The other half can't help but laugh
Thank you Bill
I wondered why Trump played the YMCA song by the Village people, is Trump gay.
that would explain a lot
Playing the YMCA says that that person must be gay? I don't see the connection.
Can't play anyone else's music without being sued
@@Spartakiss I know, did he get permission from the Village people?
@@RmcBlueSky Put it this way. If you were a company ceo, would you conduct a promotion to attract conservative, mature age investors with a gay anthem?
DEAR BILL: I’d like to introduce you to my mom who has been BLIND her whole life. She worked as a computer programmer for 40 years. Cool right? :) Hope you actually receive this comment. Keep up the good work.
This is really impressive!
But I think there is a difference between a programmer and a technician.
Matlock was in the 80's and 90's.
First episode date: March 3, 1986
.
Final episode date: May 7, 1995.
OMG .... I needed that
This is what the average person on the fence who never looks too deeply into things thinks.
Lindsay Graham most likely does set what the music is going to be - YMCA - but one thing you've got wrong, Bill - the Donald does indeed know what the music is about. Come on! He would hear it or very comparable while going carousing around with Ivana in midtown Manhattan forty, forty-plus years ago and the buddies he would have hang around him, still does, would harmonize just fine with what the lyrics are. Not to mention how the right-wing these days is preaching to us how gay inclusive, diverse they are. It is truly bizarre, but hardly at all evangelical.
yes, they are cult. and i am one of them, but somehow watch this show too.
Barrett couldn't even answer a simple question about the First Amendment.
Living the dream 🤣🤣🤣
BillyAudience a.k.a. Hyenas.
oh please, they shouldn't tell a story that even they themselves won't believe. Make a convincing story or a better joke next time. by the way, they should check their IQ before they wanna tell a story again.
Mad?
BILL YOU THE MAN 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️
Props for having the COURAGE to mention the emails. Even what we call "News" channels won't.
#trumpistheinfection
Bill has lost his comedic pacing/timing, or he’s off this episode.
" if you want to make Mike Pence nervous, look at his fly! "
You something else bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂✅✅✅✅🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷