Monologue: Scout's Honor | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

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  • Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024

Комментарии • 377

  • @ShatterPalm
    @ShatterPalm 7 лет назад +72

    Oh, how I missed you bill.

  • @BostonRedSoxForever
    @BostonRedSoxForever 7 лет назад +26

    That's why I've missed Bill Maher so much during the past weeks! Bill's the best!

  • @samyleee.5351
    @samyleee.5351 7 лет назад +6

    We love having you back!!!you missed so much...we missed having your take on the events!!!

  • @Rikajael
    @Rikajael 7 лет назад +12

    Having Bill back was just the birthday present I needed this year for mine and President Obama's birthday.

  • @cheriann6461
    @cheriann6461 7 лет назад +31

    "Local Milk People" is one of the greatest phrases ever! I mean, its use doesn't bode well for the US, but still....

    • @screaminpman
      @screaminpman 4 года назад

      LOL “Put mommy on the phone”

  • @anthonywatson6070
    @anthonywatson6070 7 лет назад +20

    Thank you Bill, we missed you

  • @yodawithasoda2272
    @yodawithasoda2272 7 лет назад +161

    "I never even got a shot at!!" 😂😂😂

  • @lornaginetteharrison414
    @lornaginetteharrison414 7 лет назад +242

    Donald Trump's Vacation Reading List:-
    (1) 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'
    (2) 'How To Be US President For Dummies'
    (3) 'War & Peace' (abridged) Audio Book.

    • @seriousyahh3057
      @seriousyahh3057 7 лет назад +11

      I heard he really likes Harry Potter cause it's a story about a guy who had rich parents and was born famous. Also, he relates to being the Chosen One, cause when you're the Chosen One they let Harry Potter do it. He can do it because he's a star.
      Sorry if this is too nerdy for the Real Time comments section.

    • @helenstewart4294
      @helenstewart4294 7 лет назад +10

      He's also going to have daily English tutoring so the new rich immigrants don't show him up.

    • @brandonmaddox4862
      @brandonmaddox4862 7 лет назад +9

      Lorna Ginette Harrison oh cmon you know he doesn't read

    • @Perceptionreflection
      @Perceptionreflection 7 лет назад +3

      Max Cherepinsky Captain Underpants is canonically gay, so it's far too liberal for Trump.

    • @Evzone1821
      @Evzone1821 7 лет назад +1

      Crystal Owens that is impossible. A child's piece of literature does not own the proper attributes to be a homosexual.

  • @andreacarrizal6055
    @andreacarrizal6055 7 лет назад +12

    Thank God you are back. It was a very long month.

  • @karthi2612
    @karthi2612 7 лет назад +8

    I have missed you Bill >3 Glad you are back.

  • @DiscoverMontréal
    @DiscoverMontréal 7 лет назад +12

    Thank fuck, Bill's back. I needed this.

  • @xrekcor
    @xrekcor 7 лет назад +1

    Man I love this bloke, cracks me up every time...... he should be on Aussie TV.

  • @barbosajulio83
    @barbosajulio83 7 лет назад +126

    Republicans favorite book; where's waldo

    • @mvvpro8688
      @mvvpro8688 7 лет назад +16

      Or in this case Where's fatso. (The answer is: "on the golf course".)

    • @harryrosson9499
      @harryrosson9499 7 лет назад +4

      Dark Man looking for a black dude at a trump rally is like find waldo. Oh there he is being escorted out by angry trump fans.

  • @Beginstheman
    @Beginstheman 7 лет назад +28

    1:45 When I think of a dump, I think of a place that's full of rats, that's leaking... Oh, wait!

  • @xCaptxCrunchx
    @xCaptxCrunchx 7 лет назад +12

    We missed you Bill! The Mooch, Priebus, Spicy, apparently Steve Bannon is a Gymnast now, you have missed a lot!

  • @BostonRedSoxForever
    @BostonRedSoxForever 7 лет назад +42

    "Put mommy on the phone!" LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!

  • @TheBulaflipped
    @TheBulaflipped 7 лет назад +5

    Yey! He's back!

  • @RicardoMartinez-hu4vu
    @RicardoMartinez-hu4vu 7 лет назад +5

    Bill Maher for president!!!!!

  • @oriolez555
    @oriolez555 7 лет назад +9

    Welcome back Bill!

  • @marioreyna9303
    @marioreyna9303 7 лет назад +5

    "Missed ya Bill"
    She speaks for all of us

  • @tombeckett66
    @tombeckett66 7 лет назад +38

    Bill. Stop taking vacations during this administration. My sanity relies on watching you every week.

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 6 лет назад +1

      Maybe then he would've gotten a shot at Anthony Scaramucci.

    • @TheAwe50me
      @TheAwe50me Год назад

      What about his sanity 😂

  • @clintongwanyama7188
    @clintongwanyama7188 7 лет назад +4

    Bill we love you

  • @Sweetwildflower
    @Sweetwildflower 7 лет назад +9

    I love you, Bill. Xoxo

  • @kofikoranteng1447
    @kofikoranteng1447 7 лет назад +2

    So glad you're back Bill!!!!!

  • @Beginstheman
    @Beginstheman 7 лет назад +7

    Welcome back, Bill!

  • @gregnewell4727
    @gregnewell4727 7 лет назад +40

    Bill glad your back in time for the Impeachment.

    • @PimpofChaos
      @PimpofChaos 7 лет назад

      Mwahaha, season 7 in impeachment blues. Episode Name: "Libtards Still Wait"

  • @ThePlayhousePals
    @ThePlayhousePals 7 лет назад +107

    The White House a dump? Well, in Trump's view, my guess is that he sees it as public housing recently vacated by a black family. [yikes, did I just type that??!] Makes the most sense in this senseless time. =o/

    • @terryharrison4839
      @terryharrison4839 7 лет назад +7

      The Playhouse Pals. yep u have a point.

    • @marcmetcalf1573
      @marcmetcalf1573 7 лет назад +6

      Well put

    • @LambieSamba
      @LambieSamba 7 лет назад +2

      lol foot in mouth disease

    • @harryrosson9499
      @harryrosson9499 7 лет назад +5

      The Playhouse Pals he says it's a dump because it's not clad in nothing but gold, and it's actually tastefully decorated.

  • @infinitude7625
    @infinitude7625 7 лет назад +5

    We missed you bill!

  • @AmirandJake
    @AmirandJake 7 лет назад +6

    Australian Prime Minister on the phone with Trump: (sigh) "... I want to speak to your manager. Put Vladimir on the phone."

  • @andreag3532
    @andreag3532 7 лет назад +3

    oh Bill my darling how I missed you.

  • @adamfanalways
    @adamfanalways 7 лет назад +3

    So glad you back Bill!

  • @TheRealCantaraBella
    @TheRealCantaraBella 7 лет назад +3

    Back at it again!!!

  • @Tsnore
    @Tsnore 7 лет назад +4

    We missed ya Bill!

  • @vyaasshankar7605
    @vyaasshankar7605 7 лет назад +13

    Did anyone notice that the Mooch was fired before he was officially hired? That was the highlight of the week. More like lowlight..

  • @garytruthteller2606
    @garytruthteller2606 7 лет назад +1

    "That's when he tells (Trump) to put mommy on the phone." -- One of Bill's best lines of recent shows.

  • @shoaib1029
    @shoaib1029 7 лет назад +1

    It's good to see you back Bill !

  • @lordknight7482
    @lordknight7482 7 лет назад +3

    Missed you bill

  • @sandyarmstrong6511
    @sandyarmstrong6511 7 лет назад +2

    BILL THE TRUTH WE LOVE YOU.THAT BOY SCOUT THING WAS SICK. SO AWEFUL. HE IS UNCONSCIOUS TO EVERYONE'S CONCERNS.

  • @zxcmvbn
    @zxcmvbn 7 лет назад +2

    5:33 me too

  • @killercaos123
    @killercaos123 7 лет назад +2

    God i missed you Bill.

  • @freediugh416
    @freediugh416 7 лет назад +17

    Can't wait to the Orange in Chief in orange. #LockHimUp #Emails

  • @tjrod4089
    @tjrod4089 7 лет назад +3

    Finally he's back!!!

  • @ralves
    @ralves 7 лет назад +2

    Love you are back man! Miss you! :D

  • @SB-qj3nu
    @SB-qj3nu 7 лет назад +1

    About time Bill👍👏

  • @TyrSkyFatherOfTheGods
    @TyrSkyFatherOfTheGods 7 лет назад +11

    The flaming train has not only jumped the tracks; it's plunged off a cliff into an oil refinery. And it's hauling dynamite and uranium. Pass me some popcorn.

  • @MsGrapeNehi
    @MsGrapeNehi 7 лет назад +5

    Right now I'm watching the Simpsons episode where Homer runs against Steve Martin for city garbage commissioner. Steve Martin tells the people if they want someone who will make a bunch of crazy promises, then "by all means, vote for this sleazy lunatic." And then Homer wins by a landslide.
    The Simpsons predicted the future yet again.

  • @ASkepticalHumanOnYouTube
    @ASkepticalHumanOnYouTube 7 лет назад +2

    "When I think of a dump, I think of a place that's full of rats and leaking....Oh wait...."
    Brilliant joke.

  • @wtf_usa5597
    @wtf_usa5597 3 года назад

    Please Bill, more new episodes!!

  • @nyartist
    @nyartist 7 лет назад

    beautiful!!

  • @vichraev.5386
    @vichraev.5386 7 лет назад

    We missed you Bill!

  • @akshayrao1672
    @akshayrao1672 7 лет назад +52

    Comedy is low hanging fruit in the Trump era!

  • @jayess8714
    @jayess8714 7 лет назад +1

    Welcome back Bill.

  • @TogetherEvery1AchievesMore
    @TogetherEvery1AchievesMore 7 лет назад

    #TogetherEvery1AchievesMore #TEAM

  • @leapintothewild
    @leapintothewild 7 лет назад +1

    Guessing the wardrobe person is still on vacation since no one had time to press that shirt! lol

  • @MisterBinx
    @MisterBinx 7 лет назад +1

    First thing I thought when I saw this is where is the rest of his tie.

  • @johnnoecker8471
    @johnnoecker8471 7 лет назад +4

    Dear America, Can we please elect a person that we can respect and maybe admire a little bit, next time. And maybe if we do that a couple times in a row, the rest of the world will admire and respect us a little bit, again, someday. How bout it ?

  • @superbowl2848
    @superbowl2848 7 лет назад +6

    "did you see that boy scout speech" , Crowd: ooohhhh , hahaha exactly. what an embarrassment this country is .

  • @TraderTimmy
    @TraderTimmy 7 лет назад +3

    It's like a tornado hit the clown parade at the WH.

  • @Siafk
    @Siafk 7 лет назад

    laughing so hard, nice show!

  • @eec589
    @eec589 7 лет назад +2

    If there is an afterlife, all the presidents are probably in a bar somewhere looking at Earth and saying some variation of "What the fuck happened to this country?"

  • @blackblake3658
    @blackblake3658 7 лет назад

    Geez, Bill. That tie says "still on vacation."

  • @tomsenft1705
    @tomsenft1705 7 лет назад

    As an official of The Local Milk People Local 606, I can assure Mr. Mayer that we are not dairy people.

  • @AngelOrtiz-lu6bx
    @AngelOrtiz-lu6bx 7 лет назад

    Bill, that tie.

  • @poppafiveone
    @poppafiveone 7 лет назад +21

    Trump.....America's Caligula.

  • @BryonLetterman
    @BryonLetterman 7 лет назад +43

    That is the skinniest tie I've ever seen

    • @catherineleary9462
      @catherineleary9462 7 лет назад +8

      Bryon Letterman Flashback to the 80s.

    • @soumyajit360
      @soumyajit360 3 года назад +1

      @@Backinblackbunny009 Ah I knew these ties as Texas Ties. Glad to know the correct name finally.

  • @juano3000
    @juano3000 5 лет назад

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OF COURSE ITS THE MANCAVE... MINE IS ALSO A DRUG INFESTED DEN LOL XD

  • @LeesaDeAndrea
    @LeesaDeAndrea 7 лет назад +3

    Tillerson probably does report to Putin, as does the un-president.

  • @taregunner7872
    @taregunner7872 7 лет назад

    I'd have gone crazy if I had been sitting next to that lady with the ear piercing laugh.

  • @genuwineU2
    @genuwineU2 7 лет назад +4

    The verdict is in but no one wants to face it. Our species is damaged and easily lead. Our desire to think independently is just too much effort. We are addicted to killing one another throughout the world. The earth would be far better off without us. This is the real inconvenient truth we must face. We finally found a leader that demonstrates how far we have fallen as a society. I doubt there is much we can do at this point other than to hold our loved ones close. I let my dog guide my behavior more and more these days.

  • @seeamerica1
    @seeamerica1 7 лет назад +2

    It's hysterical to know Trump thinks lashing out at the GOP will get them to do his bidding. Guess he never heard the phrase
    "don't bite the hand that feeds you!"

  • @stephenstoner1964
    @stephenstoner1964 5 лет назад

    Come on bill step it up

  • @amandagarcia2644
    @amandagarcia2644 7 лет назад

    Cómo quiero a Bill Mayer porqué es un ser con pensar libre .😘

  • @kendalmoraes2551
    @kendalmoraes2551 7 лет назад +1

    There's always that one person in the audience whose laugh is too obnoxious or annoying to the point you wish to place duck tape over their mouth. But Bill's return makes up for it.

  • @wjmcd703
    @wjmcd703 7 лет назад

    Bill would've had a lot of fun with the Mooch. The Mooch is like The Situation if he were a hedge fund manager.

  • @looplu
    @looplu 7 лет назад +2

    Put Mommy on the phone! Quit sucking in there and get back to work 😂

  • @fwd79
    @fwd79 7 лет назад +1

    Oh my goodness. That laugh made it sound like it was a comedy club tryout 😐

  • @junior2404
    @junior2404 7 лет назад

    "Put mummy on the phone"....
    Ouch!

  • @msfair3625
    @msfair3625 7 лет назад +2

    That lady laughing in the background ruined this.

  • @coldskyrim
    @coldskyrim 7 лет назад +29

    Trump aint running shit.... that's why he's president.... get it???

    • @ttuytgtev860
      @ttuytgtev860 7 лет назад

      Ghost Trick u can say that about all them political bitches including Barry Derham. Obama's conning ass gay bill passing bitch

    • @Greg042869
      @Greg042869 7 лет назад +2

      You can say it about all Presidents.

    • @flippinpages6550
      @flippinpages6550 7 лет назад +3

      he ain't running it he is it. He is full of it and he is the color of it. He is it in all things. He is an embarrassment to it. His name is it. He is an example of it. he needs to be flushed down the toilet.

  • @Ioganstone
    @Ioganstone 7 лет назад

    The boy Scout thing was in person, as though being political discounts it being a good speech. Mexico told Trump they were receiving less deportations = better border security. Bill is still my favorite liberal

  • @sailtheplains
    @sailtheplains 6 лет назад

    "Put y'mummy on the phone, y'daft fuck"
    Seriously, Tiffany Trump has got to be the only one laughing her ass off right now

  • @ng38477
    @ng38477 7 лет назад +2

    The White House doesn't have enough gold.

  • @Tomorrowz12
    @Tomorrowz12 7 лет назад +1

    That's hot!

  • @pertyone1
    @pertyone1 7 лет назад

    I live in Australia, and, excepting the humanitarian immigration stream, there is a mind to a match in values, English language proficiency and skills for most migrants.

  • @NickDanger0001
    @NickDanger0001 7 лет назад

    "Local milk people" Well, obviously he means all workers in dairy products.

  • @Dddd.6754
    @Dddd.6754 7 лет назад +8

    I wish bill Maher was my husband ... 😍😍😍... I know it never going to happen 😭😭😭😭😭😭😁😭

  • @FFM0594
    @FFM0594 7 лет назад +2

    Local Milk People = WASP?

  • @waynedaley7048
    @waynedaley7048 7 лет назад

    Put mommy on the phone Fuckin hilarious 🇨🇦

  • @Wordavee1
    @Wordavee1 7 лет назад +1

    Before Trump was president, he didn't think of going to Mar a Lago as a vacation, it was just visiting his property. So when he said he wouldn't take a vacation, it didn't occur to him that NOT being in the Whitehouse WAS a vacation!!

  • @mermatmay2322
    @mermatmay2322 3 года назад

    That was so funny

  • @jennifermorris833
    @jennifermorris833 7 лет назад

    I live for the next time I can watch Bill rip into ol Trumpy. It's delicious!

  • @gregorybuell686
    @gregorybuell686 4 года назад

    Trump's favorite books are
    1 cat in the hat
    2 green eggs and ham
    3 horton hears a who
    4 how the grinch stole Christmas

  • @rogerdorsey7823
    @rogerdorsey7823 4 года назад

    This should be a wake up call for the military!

  • @karolusmagnus8405
    @karolusmagnus8405 7 лет назад +2

    Donald Trump wishes Ivanka would replace Melania.

  • @thomthom6268
    @thomthom6268 7 лет назад

    So, if you say "Put Mommy on the phone" to Trump, do you get Mrs Pence?

  • @lisadee4490
    @lisadee4490 7 лет назад

    Slovakian role models i died 😂

  • @rafaelmoura2103
    @rafaelmoura2103 7 лет назад

    "kicking ass and taking names" reggie filsaime reference?

  • @Barzins1
    @Barzins1 7 лет назад +1

    I feel sorry for Kelly.

  • @LeesaDeAndrea
    @LeesaDeAndrea 7 лет назад +3

    "slavic lingerie models"

  • @arthurjackson6395
    @arthurjackson6395 7 лет назад +1

    Why didn't they remove that woman?!?