Sometimes I overshare as an act of respect. If I have to miss a scheduled social engagement, I feel like it sounds like a lie to say “I’m feeling sick” rather than “I saw a double zig-zag flash which is my migraine prodrome and that suggests I really have a migraine coming on. I just took my prescription Sumatriptan but it might be too late to fully mute this migraine attack, so I really shouldn’t risk going to Benihana with all the noise and lights as my migraines also amplify my misophonia and photophobia (sound and light sensitivity). I wish I could be there!”
I am just launching an autistic RUclips myself! Thanks for this message! I definitely need it now as I create new content. I don't want to overshare! I just can't always tell. You rock, lady
Yeah, I'm definitely guilty of sharing too much, but it's all stuff I've healed from. It's a fine line between being relatable and providing informative content. Good luck!
Me being AuDHD myself I hate when I overshare at work. I don’t see workers as anyone to trust because it is leverage. The whole “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help in the office” is also leverage for the coworker to take advantage of your good nature. They will delegate their duties onto you, ask you to cover their weekends, complain if you didn’t do anything. Unfortunately, we are guilty of opening up because we see them more than our friends and families most of the time. We get comfortable. I am smart though and don’t share important details. However, being so articulate and really thorough I still overshare even in a positive convo and they end up using it against you. “Oh I can’t cover this weekend because I have kids where as he (that being me) doesn’t have kids (because I was gullible to share that info) and now I pay the price. I do come in smart and uptight enough to be a workaholic but approachable enough to be easy to work with.
I understand where you're coming from. I would not extended that type of kindness to a random coworker, because I agree, it could be exploited. It's a judgement call. For me, they would have needed to demonstrate real adversity in life or neurodiversity for me to even think about opening up. On the flip side, never having anything to say can also be problematic. It can be alienating in the workplace and make you a target. It's a fine line...
Being AuDHD on the mild spectrum I can play tricks really well because I know how to social mask. When I burn out, they wonder why I am not “me”. I open up to those I trust and like to work on my toxic behaviors if I see it is healthy and better. I also like to try for myself and those I care about.
You make a really good point about burn out. I should have added that. When I'm burnt out or perhaps I'm not functioning at 100% because I slept poorly, my ability to mask definitely declines significantly. It's so bad that I have to be very careful about interacting with coworkers when I'm feeling this way.
I volunteer some where where you don't tell about yourself with everyone. I go in and be professional and do what I am meant to do there. I only ask if they are OK and they answer how they are after. I only answer about me if asked. Try to keep outside life and where you are separate.
Sometimes I overshare as an act of respect. If I have to miss a scheduled social engagement, I feel like it sounds like a lie to say “I’m feeling sick” rather than “I saw a double zig-zag flash which is my migraine prodrome and that suggests I really have a migraine coming on. I just took my prescription Sumatriptan but it might be too late to fully mute this migraine attack, so I really shouldn’t risk going to Benihana with all the noise and lights as my migraines also amplify my misophonia and photophobia (sound and light sensitivity). I wish I could be there!”
I am just launching an autistic RUclips myself! Thanks for this message! I definitely need it now as I create new content. I don't want to overshare! I just can't always tell. You rock, lady
Yeah, I'm definitely guilty of sharing too much, but it's all stuff I've healed from. It's a fine line between being relatable and providing informative content. Good luck!
Me being AuDHD myself I hate when I overshare at work.
I don’t see workers as anyone to trust because it is leverage.
The whole “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help in the office” is also leverage for the coworker to take advantage of your good nature.
They will delegate their duties onto you, ask you to cover their weekends, complain if you didn’t do anything.
Unfortunately, we are guilty of opening up because we see them more than our friends and families most of the time. We get comfortable.
I am smart though and don’t share important details.
However, being so articulate and really thorough I still overshare even in a positive convo and they end up using it against you.
“Oh I can’t cover this weekend because I have kids where as he (that being me) doesn’t have kids (because I was gullible to share that info) and now I pay the price.
I do come in smart and uptight enough to be a workaholic but approachable enough to be easy to work with.
I understand where you're coming from. I would not extended that type of kindness to a random coworker, because I agree, it could be exploited. It's a judgement call. For me, they would have needed to demonstrate real adversity in life or neurodiversity for me to even think about opening up. On the flip side, never having anything to say can also be problematic. It can be alienating in the workplace and make you a target. It's a fine line...
I'm at more risk of oversharing when I'm anxious.
very clear and helpful
When NT's small talk, it feels like a lot like oversharing to me.
Being AuDHD on the mild spectrum I can play tricks really well because I know how to social mask. When I burn out, they wonder why I am not “me”.
I open up to those I trust and like to work on my toxic behaviors if I see it is healthy and better. I also like to try for myself and those I care about.
You make a really good point about burn out. I should have added that. When I'm burnt out or perhaps I'm not functioning at 100% because I slept poorly, my ability to mask definitely declines significantly. It's so bad that I have to be very careful about interacting with coworkers when I'm feeling this way.
thanks so much for recording and sharing this video
Glad it's helpful!
Not good for me. Learned hard not good. Only dx asd but think have adhd …. Thank you 💞👊
I volunteer some where where you don't tell about yourself with everyone. I go in and be professional and do what I am meant to do there. I only ask if they are OK and they answer how they are after. I only answer about me if asked. Try to keep outside life and where you are separate.