Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
Too expensive as my ability to earn has been destroyed from excessive trauma through physical abuse including incest at the hands of both parents. Numerous health issues have destroyed my life leaving me victim to further abuse!
We learn how to relate to others from how our parents treated us a kids. If your parent was only there for you when if fit their needs, you will view all relationships as one-sided. You believe your needs don't matter and will never be considered. No point in reaching out because no one is there.
Anybody can unlearn what their parents taught them as a child, but people RARELY work on themselves to figure it out. No, their upbringing isn’t their fault, but their actions as an adult are. People can’t swallow looking in their own mirror so they repress and let the trauma control their every thought.
So so true I can personally relate. Others saying inconsiderate comments have never been there but they have countless advice & criticism. Some ppl cannot relate or comprehend unless they’ve been there.
You mention chronic tiredness and chronic unemployment as effects of growing up with narcissistic parents. I definitely struggle with both of those. You also mention depression, as well as other physical issues, which I also struggle with. I’m single, so I don’t have a spouse who can support me. All of these things have completely crippled me, and have kept me stuck living in my parents’ house as an adult. I have no way to support myself, or to earn enough money to get the help that I need to heal and get out of this mess. It’s a viscous cycle. I really don’t know what people in my situation are supposed to do.
"psychological exhaustion, chronic unemployment and loneliness" That sounds like the story of my life. I struggle with feelings of failure, and being in my late 30s only exacerbates that. If only I could find a therapist around here who got it the way you do.
Every time I revisit my trauma is every time I visit my mother I’m 54 and its never ending. Thank goodness I’ve found you because it’s making me feel Ill 🤒 exhausted and my nervous system is frazzled, I’m triangulated with her my golden child brother and enough is enough for my health mentally and physically. Pinged constantly by mom and brother. I’ve done 1 week detaching I need inner peace. You make so much sense thank you 🙏
The trauma bond was so helpful! Addiction to the person instead of caring for self. Very eye opening, and I was wondering about that addiction and why I still felt thar way.
Thankyou so much for this Jerry. Your content has been very useful. I'm 65 now. All this could be my story, right down to the sister! My alcaholic mother died 15yrs ago, and I'm 2yrs in to grey rocking my sister. 2 x a year we speak on the phone and she always gets an arrow in. I just laugh now and say "gotta go!" then immediately hang up. It still bothers me for a few days but it's getting easier. My guilt is deeply ingrained lol
Jerry, you are the very best expert on these subjects. You have helped me and my sister start to sort out decades of rejection from narc. Mother. You are the very best. Thank you and abundant blessings to you and your life. Eileen
This really makes for a new start and better at building healthy relationships . The healthy realtionship is something some of us may not have had because of trauma.
This video is very helpful. We miss out on so much during our developmental stages when we have grown up in families that don't meet our normal needs. Sometimes as you develop, you also develop a hatred for yourself.
Jerry, thank you for your generosity in giving your knowledge of these subjects to your RUclips subscribers. Many blessings to you. Your video content has helped me tremendously. You are a kind soul and I am forever grateful to you for your service.
Thank you so much, Jerry, for putting these things into words ~ it's opening my eyes and identifying what I have been going through internally for most of my life. Constantly reviewing the inner trauma explains my inner turmoil . And the broken way I feel about myself. Hearing these things described actually is making me feel momentary relief. Going to watch this a few more times to let it really sink in.
Thank you Jerry! This is so helpful!! It’s relatable and I didn’t realize the things I’ve struggled with were commonalities among children of narcissists
Jerry,m deeply touched by your generous contribution of tips and information for those who cannot access this systemic view of dysfunctional family and how to become en-meshed.Deeply appreciated 🙏🏼💗
Hello Jerry, one lesson I see being taught clearly from the eastern approach, but not so much in the West is that of maintaining non reactivity and detachment in the face of "positive" situations and experiences. Would you consider a video about how to remain differentiated and non reactive when someone is "making you feel good"? (surface level interpretation). As they do appear to be two sides of the same coin, enmeshing is still taking place. Or if you have a different opinion about this, it would be really interesting to hear your perspective.
I could really resonate with all of this. I'm really struggling to find me, but I see what I've done wrong and didn't realize it. I am just wondering if I can survive after all these years later. I am really being tested.😢
Just WoW!!...you always hit a bullseye with your presentations. This one really hit home, as if you were describing my lonely life, my story... I hear your presentations and find myself yelling out in my head _"Yes, yes, that's it. Someone actually gets it...and gets me."_ ...As if looking in a mirror and seeing my reflection for the first time, and for that moment I feel _"home"_ and alive because of the brief connection. As always, thank you ~
2:00 how much of life, relationships now look like dysfunctional home? Have you brought those coping strategies into later life… 3:45 retrauamtizing self, have control over that 5:15 hypervigilance 7:00 CPTSD workbook, medical help 8:15 disconnected from self 10:15 putting it into words, 12 steps, journaling 17:00 body keeps the score, trauma lives in body, what are you feeling and where, put words to physical sensations 20:00 be emotionally available to self…amazing self explicitly how feeling
Thank you Jerry. Your videos are so outstanding. No longer being enmeshed with my trauma bond really stood out to me. Also, the book you mentioned about breaking free of the exploitative betrayal bond looks really good. Going from a trauma perpetrator focus to internalizing the trauma is also a wow. Thank you.
What's weird is when you understand that like they don't trust you and you're like well that's mutual cuz I don't trust you either you've shown me that your words don't match your actions and I finally get it
Jerry, would you please define "narcissistic." I am assuming you mean it as an adjective to describe tendencies rather than the actual disorder of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I also think the latter is more obvious once we are grown and looking back on our childhoods as opposed to the former which would have been more subtle, confusing and therefore difficult to recognize as damaging to who we are.
I have an overt grandiose narc mom who I had to part with mostly because of abuse - my mother in law treats me like yesterday’s lunch compared to the rest of the fam. After 33 years she needs to be reminded of my birthday while showering husband and daughter with timely gifts - a week now late- the check’s in the mail - def in scapegoat role .
![Summer Walker - Heart Of A Woman [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SFddctbZzw8/mqdefault.jpg)
Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027
‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
Too expensive as my ability to earn has been destroyed from excessive trauma through physical abuse including incest at the hands of both parents. Numerous health issues have destroyed my life leaving me victim to further abuse!
We learn how to relate to others from how our parents treated us a kids. If your parent was only there for you when if fit their needs, you will view all relationships as one-sided. You believe your needs don't matter and will never be considered. No point in reaching out because no one is there.
Anybody can unlearn what their parents taught them as a child, but people RARELY work on themselves to figure it out.
No, their upbringing isn’t their fault, but their actions as an adult are. People can’t swallow looking in their own mirror so they repress and let the trauma control their every thought.
Couldn't have said it better. We learn from an early age to depend on ourselves because no is ever there.
@@jonlopez07- Sure… 🤡
So so true I can personally relate. Others saying inconsiderate comments have never been there but they have countless advice & criticism. Some ppl cannot relate or comprehend unless they’ve been there.
Wow! Very insightful! Thankyou!
You mention chronic tiredness and chronic unemployment as effects of growing up with narcissistic parents. I definitely struggle with both of those. You also mention depression, as well as other physical issues, which I also struggle with. I’m single, so I don’t have a spouse who can support me. All of these things have completely crippled me, and have kept me stuck living in my parents’ house as an adult. I have no way to support myself, or to earn enough money to get the help that I need to heal and get out of this mess. It’s a viscous cycle. I really don’t know what people in my situation are supposed to do.
Me too. I guess we cannot escape unless we somehow micracle can have stable financial ability or they just die before we kill/ waste ourself.
"psychological exhaustion, chronic unemployment and loneliness" That sounds like the story of my life. I struggle with feelings of failure, and being in my late 30s only exacerbates that. If only I could find a therapist around here who got it the way you do.
@DARobin-iv4tp I'm in the same situation How are people in this situation supposed to come up with enough money to get the help that they need?
Every time I revisit my trauma is every time I visit my mother I’m 54 and its never ending. Thank goodness I’ve found you because it’s making me feel Ill 🤒 exhausted and my nervous system is frazzled, I’m triangulated with her my golden child brother and enough is enough for my health mentally and physically. Pinged constantly by mom and brother. I’ve done 1 week detaching I need inner peace. You make so much sense thank you 🙏
The trauma bond was so helpful! Addiction to the person instead of caring for self. Very eye opening, and I was wondering about that addiction and why I still felt thar way.
The story at the 15 minute mark about the sister was my exact situation Jerry but thanks to your advice it is all under control now. And un-enmeshed!!
Thankyou so much for this Jerry. Your content has been very useful. I'm 65 now. All this could be my story, right down to the sister! My alcaholic mother died 15yrs ago, and I'm 2yrs in to grey rocking my sister. 2 x a year we speak on the phone and she always gets an arrow in. I just laugh now and say "gotta go!" then immediately hang up. It still bothers me for a few days but it's getting easier. My guilt is deeply ingrained lol
Jerry, you are the very best expert on these subjects. You have helped me and my sister start to sort out decades of rejection from narc. Mother. You are the very best. Thank you and abundant blessings to you and your life. Eileen
Excellent video! Also, what a beautiful room. It’s very sophisticated ❤❤❤
I’m glad the video was helpful! This video was filmed in south of Spain, it would be amazing to go back
This really makes for a new start and better at building healthy relationships . The healthy realtionship is something some of us may not have had because of trauma.
This video is very helpful. We miss out on so much during our developmental stages when we have grown up in families that don't meet our normal needs. Sometimes as you develop, you also develop a hatred for yourself.
I'd like to see a study between results from childhood trauma with narcissistic parents and other with non-narcisstic parents.
Jerry, thank you for your generosity in giving your knowledge of these subjects to your RUclips subscribers. Many blessings to you. Your video content has helped me tremendously. You are a kind soul and I am forever grateful to you for your service.
Thank you so much, Jerry, for putting these things into words ~ it's opening my eyes and identifying what I have been going through internally for most of my life. Constantly reviewing the inner trauma explains my inner turmoil . And the broken way I feel about myself. Hearing these things described actually is making me feel momentary relief. Going to watch this a few more times to let it really sink in.
Thank you Jerry! This is so helpful!! It’s relatable and I didn’t realize the things I’ve struggled with were commonalities among children of narcissists
I didn't realise am not alone
Great video. Thank you.
God bless you Jerry. You are an angel sent from above and I wish you a long and healthy life always. Love, Samina from Montreal Canada
I love your videos, they are so educating and comforting and I feel empowered by them. Thank you❤
Jerry,m deeply touched by your generous contribution of tips and information for those who cannot access this systemic view of dysfunctional family and how to become en-meshed.Deeply appreciated 🙏🏼💗
Hello Jerry, one lesson I see being taught clearly from the eastern approach, but not so much in the West is that of maintaining non reactivity and detachment in the face of "positive" situations and experiences. Would you consider a video about how to remain differentiated and non reactive when someone is "making you feel good"? (surface level interpretation).
As they do appear to be two sides of the same coin, enmeshing is still taking place.
Or if you have a different opinion about this, it would be really interesting to hear your perspective.
Such good info!!! Ty Sir!! Took me 54 years...FINALLY got it!!!🎉
I could really resonate with all of this. I'm really struggling to find me, but I see what I've done wrong and didn't realize it. I am just wondering if I can survive after all these years later. I am really being tested.😢
Thanks, Jerry, you have taught me so much :)
Thank you so much Jerry! I really appreciate these videos.
You are very welcome❤️
very painful but true and resonate, much appreciated for your amazing insight Jerry as always.
Thanks Jerry! Appreciate your work.
This really spoke to me Jerry. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us!
You are very welcome, I’m glad it resonated ❤️
Your videos help me so much
I’m glad they do! Thank you for watching ❤️
Thank you for this video.
Thank you
Thank you for this excellent video Jerry. 💛
I just want to say thank you so mutch ❤
You are very welcome ❤️
Jerry...once again...wow. Thank you ...Thank you.
This is such a wonderful, affirming video to take care of that sweet little girl inside of me. Thanks Jerry!
You are so welcome
Just WoW!!...you always hit a bullseye with your presentations. This one really hit home, as if you were describing my lonely life, my story...
I hear your presentations and find myself yelling out in my head _"Yes, yes, that's it. Someone actually gets it...and gets me."_ ...As if looking in a mirror and seeing my reflection for the first time, and for that moment I feel _"home"_ and alive because of the brief connection. As always, thank you ~
I don't like calling myself a child. "Wounded side" sounds better.
2:00 how much of life, relationships now look like dysfunctional home? Have you brought those coping strategies into later life…
3:45 retrauamtizing self, have control over that
5:15 hypervigilance
7:00 CPTSD workbook, medical help
8:15 disconnected from self
10:15 putting it into words, 12 steps, journaling
17:00 body keeps the score, trauma lives in body, what are you feeling and where, put words to physical sensations
20:00 be emotionally available to self…amazing self explicitly how feeling
i must have caught you live.. i will have to watch the beginning of this later..
i do like that awareness of how the other person does not want to have a "healthy" relationship..
rather than just the label of narcissist to break down what the behavior is..
Thank you Jerry. Your videos are so outstanding. No longer being enmeshed with my trauma bond really stood out to me. Also, the book you mentioned about breaking free of the exploitative betrayal bond looks really good. Going from a trauma perpetrator focus to internalizing the trauma is also a wow. Thank you.
What's weird is when you understand that like they don't trust you and you're like well that's mutual cuz I don't trust you either you've shown me that your words don't match your actions and I finally get it
Thank you, Jerry
Jerry, would you please define "narcissistic." I am assuming you mean it as an adjective to describe tendencies rather than the actual disorder of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I also think the latter is more obvious once we are grown and looking back on our childhoods as opposed to the former which would have been more subtle, confusing and therefore difficult to recognize as damaging to who we are.
Thanks for the explanation.
I have an overt grandiose narc mom who I had to part with mostly because of abuse - my mother in law treats me like yesterday’s lunch compared to the rest of the fam. After 33 years she needs to be reminded of my birthday while showering husband and daughter with timely gifts - a week now late- the check’s in the mail - def in scapegoat role .
They always use the darvo method is exhausting it's a form of victim shaming and blaming and it's just as evil as the gas lighting .
such an honest commentary on Christianity today. 2 b a pastor and not know God's love.
I just feel hate. And don't want to se ore hear from them at all. Is this normal?
To me it sound normal. Who would want be hurt again and again?
Can you have a nervous breakdown through too many years of trauma?
❤❤❤
♥️🇧🇷👏💯
I love and appreciate for your service to This community
Thank you Jerry for another incredible video. I always learn more about myself through your videos!
You’re very welcome Greg, I’m glad my videos are helping you❤️
Thank you for this video.