I've recently uncovered a new "F" in the fight/flight or freeze. Its Fawning. Which is a manipulative strategy to calm your attacker down in order to keep yourself safe. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, as I find that I have done this one a lot in my life.
I wonder. I've noticed I will get triggered and go into a fight, which then triggers my partner, who goes into fight, and sometimes it is scary to me. Then, I change course and either go into flight or this weird placating to soothe the feathers I just ruffled. It's usually because I feel I can't run because running makes him even angrier. I wonder if fawning is what I am doing. Just a note, the fear of his anger is my instinctive. He is big and has a loud voice, but he will not physically hurt me.
Something I'd like to point out here is that even after we get all this into perspective, sometimes the best choices can still be to either fight or flee, and then to avoid engaging with people whose lousy behavior sets off your triggers. After all, they are there for a reason. They're warning signs. They can be useful. Don't necessarily let them lead you to rash decisions that can harm yourself or others, but also don't repress them to the point that you allow yourself to be exposed to actual danger or let people walk all over you. Oh yes and while you're counting your breathing, imagining that wonderful blue sky, under that beautiful green tree, let's hope it's after you've gotten to a safe place rather than while that lion that triggered you is using your "vulnerable self" as an afternoon snack.
Jessica thank you for this material 💙 I do like IFS and I have to admit I didn't really expect a big shift while doing this exercise. But I was ok even with little steep towards better version of myself. But this session was so powerful eyes opening game changer. Thank you one more time. I feel like I owe you something... Let me know if I can do something for you 😃 👋 Greetings from the Czech Republic 🙂
Really helpful and very well and consciously explained , thank you so much Jessica ❤
Excellent! Yhank you very much for this. I would really like to hear that second part of the talk. Trigger awareness, individual trigger sectrum, etc.
A first-class presentation and exercise that would help individuals in any situation, not just non-monogamy
You are amazing! It really help me a lot to deal with my jealousy.
I've recently uncovered a new "F" in the fight/flight or freeze. Its Fawning. Which is a manipulative strategy to calm your attacker down in order to keep yourself safe. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, as I find that I have done this one a lot in my life.
came here to ask this exact thing so thanks
I wonder. I've noticed I will get triggered and go into a fight, which then triggers my partner, who goes into fight, and sometimes it is scary to me. Then, I change course and either go into flight or this weird placating to soothe the feathers I just ruffled. It's usually because I feel I can't run because running makes him even angrier. I wonder if fawning is what I am doing. Just a note, the fear of his anger is my instinctive. He is big and has a loud voice, but he will not physically hurt me.
Something I'd like to point out here is that even after we get all this into perspective, sometimes the best choices can still be to either fight or flee, and then to avoid engaging with people whose lousy behavior sets off your triggers. After all, they are there for a reason. They're warning signs. They can be useful. Don't necessarily let them lead you to rash decisions that can harm yourself or others, but also don't repress them to the point that you allow yourself to be exposed to actual danger or let people walk all over you.
Oh yes and while you're counting your breathing, imagining that wonderful blue sky, under that beautiful green tree, let's hope it's after you've gotten to a safe place rather than while that lion that triggered you is using your "vulnerable self" as an afternoon snack.
Really enjoyed your clarity and energy, as well as the very practical tools you share here. Very helpful.
This is so refreshing and true. Thank you.
Jessica thank you for this material 💙 I do like IFS and I have to admit I didn't really expect a big shift while doing this exercise. But I was ok even with little steep towards better version of myself. But this session was so powerful eyes opening game changer. Thank you one more time. I feel like I owe you something... Let me know if I can do something for you 😃
👋 Greetings from the Czech Republic 🙂
Great work Jessica, the exercise is very useful!
Thank you for this content! Very helpful!!
thank you very much for sharing this. much love.
Thanks for that 💖
YOU'RE THE FUCKING BEST, JESS!!!! lol 🎉🪭🪭🤗🤗🪷🪷🩷🩷🩷
♾💜♾