Relationship Therapists Review Issa & Lawrence's Relationship in 'Insecure' | Vanity Fair

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  • Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
  • Relationship therapists Laura Heck and Zach Brittle break down Issa and Lawrence's relationship in HBO's 'Insecure' and analyze their "roommate" relationship dynamic, how they both dealt with infidelity, and how Issa and Lawrence evolved from season to season.
    Director/Producer: Sean Dacanay
    Associate Producer: Paul Gulyas
    Editor: Nick Rood
    Laura Heck and Zach Brittle are certified Gottman therapists and relationship experts. As a public speaker and author, respectively, their insights on therapy have reached the masses. Check out the institute they're a part of and their Marriage Therapy podcast at the links below:
    bit.ly/Gottman...
    marriagetherap...
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    Relationship Therapists Review Issa & Lawrence's Relationship in 'Insecure' | Vanity Fair

Комментарии • 473

  • @isabelam.2437
    @isabelam.2437 4 года назад +1381

    I wish they analysed Issa and Molly's relationship, I find it even more interesting and complex. I feel like a lot people lose important friendships because we don't really have the study and understanding of friend relationships like we have of romantic relationships, even though it's just as important sometimes even more...

    • @icechipz
      @icechipz 4 года назад +44

      Yes! This would have been so good! Especially with how season 4 went down. Theres a LOT to unpack with molly and Issa's relationship

    • @thejerrycantu
      @thejerrycantu 4 года назад +4

      I was just about to suggest this too!!! Lol.

    • @mustafahall3865
      @mustafahall3865 4 года назад +5

      Absolutely

    • @athenajaxon2397
      @athenajaxon2397 4 года назад +26

      Yeah I feel like people undervalue friendships sometimes

    • @wendyw3394
      @wendyw3394 4 года назад +17

      Agree. Friendships are something that EVERYONE can relate to. Even if you’re not in a romantic relationship, we have all gone through friendships. There was a lot of Molly hate after Season 4, but I’ve always felt there was blame on both sides.

  • @lebo9010
    @lebo9010 4 года назад +1158

    I haven't finished watching this but you should do definitely Molly and Issa next.

  • @auag19
    @auag19 4 года назад +699

    I think the lady missed the fact that actually Issa was not happy, thriving, and successful. She was also just trying to survive in the beginning. She actually hated her job.

    • @acaraj
      @acaraj 4 года назад +44

      It sounds like they watched an edited version that only featured Issa and Lawrence.

    • @KhadyB
      @KhadyB 4 года назад +104

      Indeed. Issa was not happy in her job, yet she made the effort to keep at it and get the money she needed to support herself AND Lawrence. I think this had an enormous impact on the failure of their relationship.

    • @shannonchambers5885
      @shannonchambers5885 4 года назад +15

      Yeah I feel like a few things were missed by the therapist and I assumed they haven't watched the show or something

    • @beneficent2557
      @beneficent2557 3 года назад +8

      Thats no excuse.

    • @rueg3876
      @rueg3876 3 года назад +7

      You still don’t cheat. You break up and then hook up

  • @-Bloomingtales
    @-Bloomingtales 4 года назад +117

    The fact that these two therapists reflected Team Issa and Team Lawrence gives us an example of how split the audience STILL is about their on screen relationship. I’m glad they didn’t agree. 😌

    • @SZAliaBanks
      @SZAliaBanks 3 года назад +4

      yeah I think Lawrence needs some sympathy ..

    • @thefuzzypineapple
      @thefuzzypineapple Год назад +6

      @@SZAliaBanks he clearly was depressed. I wish they would have talked about mental health and also how traditional/patriarchal gender roles play a part in their dynamic.

  • @ohpleeaaase
    @ohpleeaaase 4 года назад +192

    “They are not aligned in value,....schedule, fashion”
    Phew 🤯

  • @dejajohnson5007
    @dejajohnson5007 4 года назад +338

    She keeps stating that Issa was doing well...I’m here like no she is working at a nonprofit, she has a man who quit his job to startup his own. She was carrying that relationship. Many black women go through this. Stuck in a relationship with no ties to a marriage. Taking care of men and children with no help because we are seen as strong independent women. Lawrence was not doing anything and he forgot her birthday. When Issa met Daniel again, he just reminded her of who she was before societal pressures.

    • @destineedillard5564
      @destineedillard5564 4 года назад +26

      Exactly! Lawrence is grown and is partly to blame.

    • @BlackNella
      @BlackNella 4 года назад +9

      that was my exact situation...like blow for blow.

    • @nolongerinuse488
      @nolongerinuse488 4 года назад +2

      That’s exactly why even though they did great it in this, it would’ve been better to have it reviewed by a black therapists. POV changes.

    • @elplebeuchiha1996
      @elplebeuchiha1996 3 года назад +10

      So, then it was okay for her to cheat on him? [+]

    • @dejajohnson5007
      @dejajohnson5007 3 года назад +9

      It’s not okayy for her to have cheated. The main problem I have with this ladies view is that she’s placing all the blame on Issa. If you watch the show there’s an episode where they both explain how they caused harm to the relationship before the fall out. Lawrence mindset was not in the relationship way before Issa cheated. They both honestly needed time a part, but instead of doing that Lawrence shamed her. Even when Issa was going through her problems she never reflected them all onto him. She believed in his dream gave him chances, and he didn’t let her have one at all.

  • @sadejawooten7060
    @sadejawooten7060 4 года назад +259

    i’m actually happy they picked Insecure. it’s important to bring awareness to the dynamics of african american relationships

    • @sadejawooten7060
      @sadejawooten7060 4 года назад +17

      Sandra Boadu it’s not, but i’m saying it’s rare to see people review and discuss shows that are centered around black relationships.

    • @paige2166
      @paige2166 4 года назад +15

      @@Sandybeee dude why do y'all have to find something to nit pick about? The person just brought up the fact that's they're an African American couple. It's nice to see a change instead of just white couples. But yet again ppl like u will never be pleased 😒

    • @Goldenxbih
      @Goldenxbih 3 года назад +1

      @@paige2166 fr

    • @Goldenxbih
      @Goldenxbih 3 года назад +1

      See how Sandra’s dumbass deleted her comment

    • @adamdevereaux2713
      @adamdevereaux2713 3 года назад +3

      Black therapists should be analyzin' 'em.

  • @danastirling9294
    @danastirling9294 4 года назад +142

    That is deep cheating occurs in the mind way before it actually happens dang

  • @selalewis9189
    @selalewis9189 4 года назад +251

    These two are normally simpatico when it comes to analyzing relationships. But now these two are just as divided about Issa and Lawrence as are many of us who watch _Insecure_
    One thing I think that's not discussed (possibly because the therapists are just reacting to clips out of context, jumping several episodes ahead in time) and that is the importance of needing each individual to feel financially and emotionally stable enough to hear one another. In season one both Issa and Lawrence were unhappy with their careers and life goals _outside of the relationship_ They actually needed to be apart throughout most of season two and most of season three to figure out what to do with their lives. When that occurs by season 3, then they're ready to actually listen to one another.
    Emotional availability requires resources. You can't always say how you feel in a calm, constructive manner if you've been unemployed for months on end. Or if you've been footing all the bills on your nonprofit salary. I think Laura should be more forgiving of both characters in this regard.

    • @tarawalker4086
      @tarawalker4086 4 года назад +19

      Agreed. I don't think they watch the show and I wonder if cultural dynamics misunderstanding is a factor in their analysis.

    • @KhadyB
      @KhadyB 4 года назад +1

      This.

    • @jazzingirl
      @jazzingirl 4 года назад +1

      Tara Walker they didn’t watch the whole show

    • @beneficent2557
      @beneficent2557 3 года назад +1

      Issa is an archetype for the idiots who betray you at your lowest point. She is a traitor and deserves to be treated as such. No wonder this generation is lost.

    • @meganleelillie
      @meganleelillie 2 года назад

      This comment is straight facts!

  • @houligan_97
    @houligan_97 4 года назад +134

    I don't know why this was recommended but I am now invested in someone else's relationship 😂

    • @karenabenford8284
      @karenabenford8284 4 года назад +19

      Insecure is a great show!! I've been totally invested in Issa and Lawrence since the beginning.

    • @sandyharvey7656
      @sandyharvey7656 4 года назад

      😂😂😂😂

    • @ndondomtolo6878
      @ndondomtolo6878 4 года назад +1

      I'm Soo invested in that relationship, maybe that's why this was recommended for me😂😂🙈

  • @biddynet
    @biddynet 4 года назад +184

    I would like to see Molly and Andrew analysed too!!!

    • @amyfisher8896
      @amyfisher8896 4 года назад +2

      YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    • @taylork609
      @taylork609 4 года назад +1

      yes!!!

    • @veronica-wolfmaiden5383
      @veronica-wolfmaiden5383 4 года назад +2

      TRIPLE YES!

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +5

      I see Molly as a "Karen." I have personally lived above a white female therapist who had nothing in order in her household and couldn't be relied of for any neighborly responsibilities, even though the building was a TIC which required her to do so. I wonder the percentage of therapists would fall under the "do as a say, not as I do" category when judging their personal life choices.

  • @JanninaMartinez429
    @JanninaMartinez429 4 года назад +160

    Hands down best show ever. Molly’s and Issas friendship most realistic I’ve seen on tv ever

  • @veronica-wolfmaiden5383
    @veronica-wolfmaiden5383 4 года назад +482

    She put way too much on Issa- it's almost as if the female therapist wanted Issa to continue to hold Laurence's hand while he behaved like dead weight. Laurence wasn't on the couch for a year it was darn near THREE YEARS. Issa was dead wrong for sleeping with Daniel (especially since Laurence had begun to recommit and get his stuff together at that point) but she did support Laurence for all that time and he never put in effort until it was too late. To be fair to the therapist, I don't think they watched the whole series and that they were both going off synopsis'. I like this but I think having two black therapists (especially one being a black woman) would have a different perspective because there are some cultural expectations for black women to carry everyone on their backs at a detriment to themselves that I don't think the therapist is aware of.

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +28

      Karen, karen-ing. The fact that it's a THERAPIST really surprised me. I agree, we need a black female therapist. I vote to boot this nosy, white karen...with a license to judge people's morality and correctness.

    • @princessccs
      @princessccs 4 года назад +3

      Agreed on this

    • @nubianhairhealerbigmecca3168
      @nubianhairhealerbigmecca3168 4 года назад +42

      Yesss facts she missed cultural pressures Issa was already dealing with but never mentioned

    • @Watchyourprofamity
      @Watchyourprofamity 4 года назад +24

      I wrote this under another comment, but she lacks cultural competence. Like the whole cultural understanding aspect was missing and so she missed a lot of what was happening.

    • @ohxandrea
      @ohxandrea 4 года назад +4

      I totally agree with what you said about Lawrence and Issa. And I want to believe that the female therapist didn't watch the entire series. By looking at snapshots/brief conversations, it's easy not to have a clear overall understanding of these characters. That or she has some type of bias against Issa's character (which is very possible) 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @ThatGirlWithAVoice
    @ThatGirlWithAVoice 4 года назад +46

    I SCREAMED when I saw the title! This is the content I had no idea I needed!!!! Loved this!

  • @jihanamani322
    @jihanamani322 4 года назад +415

    This would have been more impactful and just better had you used BLACK relationship therapists because the blackness of Issa & Lawrence plays a significant part in their relationship & their dynamic. Elevate black voices.

    • @eileen4851
      @eileen4851 4 года назад +15

      Exactly, there are black therapists that could do this

    • @injohmoments7269
      @injohmoments7269 4 года назад +9

      Took the words right out of my mouth. I felt very uncomfortable with some of the things said by the male therapist.

    • @jihanamani322
      @jihanamani322 4 года назад +17

      I couldn’t even get through the whole thing because I was so disturbed by the choice of having two white people dissect black love & relationships. Has this year taught y’all nothing?!?!?!

    • @williamjames914
      @williamjames914 4 года назад +11

      As black therapist (11 years experience) I did agree.

    • @KiiMuSiiCallYLoved
      @KiiMuSiiCallYLoved 4 года назад +4

      I was specifically looking for this comment! Well said.

  • @c_a_h_1_1
    @c_a_h_1_1 4 года назад +476

    Loved this! But would have also loved to see the perspective of a Black therapist who could give their perspective as well.

    • @BOOBABYJLG
      @BOOBABYJLG 4 года назад +31

      Yep! 90 seconds in and I was like, "they need Black professionals for this analysis"

    • @morgane9819
      @morgane9819 4 года назад +3

      I was thinking the exact same thing.

    • @brandyspain7125
      @brandyspain7125 4 года назад +4

      👍🏾🖤

    • @rakeemrembert7944
      @rakeemrembert7944 3 года назад

      @@morgane9819 ur

    • @angelesperez1773
      @angelesperez1773 3 года назад +1

      On the surface it seems to me that it doesnt matter (Only for Issa an Lawrence, I wouldn't think the same if the analysis was about Issa and Molly, for example), but now you say it, I'm interested in knowing why you did the suggestion. My English is very regular, sorry if the comment is poorly written

  • @TheTJW
    @TheTJW 4 года назад +34

    So the lady is clearly a member of the Lawrence Hive 😂😂😂

  • @gogigyorl
    @gogigyorl 4 года назад +44

    I like how the comments are all about needing a black therapists analysis

  • @brandi17able
    @brandi17able 4 года назад +68

    I feel like they both were wrong.. Lawrence got too comfortable and Issa should have tried to fix the relationship she was in first then leave if it wasn’t fixable. Issa should not have cheated

    • @elplebeuchiha1996
      @elplebeuchiha1996 3 года назад +5

      Yes. I agree. But, what I love about the show is that it shows that everyone phux up. Everyone makes mistakes/errors/harm/etc. Nobody on the show was flawless and everyone was insecure in some shape or form. [+]

    • @beneficent2557
      @beneficent2557 3 года назад

      No. Stop excusing the behavior.

    • @laddyvanity
      @laddyvanity 3 года назад +3

      Why is it up to Issa to fix the relationship? Why are black women always placed with the burden to always be the fixer?

    • @brandi17able
      @brandi17able 3 года назад +3

      @@laddyvanity a relationship takes two. I didn’t put it on one, I put it on both… she cheated and he stopped doing the things he needed to do to keep the relationship strong…

    • @brandi17able
      @brandi17able 3 года назад +1

      @@beneficent2557 I am not excusing behavior… neither one of their behavior was cool

  • @DuckieWebb
    @DuckieWebb 4 года назад +183

    Representation matters. Would have loved to see this review done by POC therapists to provide cultural context and insights overlooked in the current review.

    • @Ngkomrade
      @Ngkomrade 4 года назад +12

      How would it be any different they are proffessionals they know what theyre talking about

    • @Ngkomrade
      @Ngkomrade 4 года назад +1

      @@DuckieWebb Im literally mixed raced (Half black half white)

    • @Ngkomrade
      @Ngkomrade 4 года назад +2

      @@DuckieWebb Its so funny that you just assumed im white because i even asked a question and please stop with this white fragility BS

    • @RRAY1991
      @RRAY1991 4 года назад +17

      @@Ngkomrade mixed with what? They gave a great explanation but adding race would have given it more depth.

    • @Ngkomrade
      @Ngkomrade 4 года назад +1

      @@RRAY1991 half black amd half white and I just dont see how someones race especially if theyre the same race what difference it would make

  • @go-go-genevieve
    @go-go-genevieve 4 года назад +121

    One of the reasons I fell off of Insecure was seeing the parallels of this relationship to my own in my twenties. (Lots of differences as well, mind you but enough is similar that I would get a tight chest and chills while watching.) It’s strange because listening to the therapists discuss allowed me to reflect on my own past situation. This is a first 😂 Usually it’s just fun and informative and not this personal!

    • @smarti1144
      @smarti1144 4 года назад +5

      Preserve your inner peace and ruminate

    • @Nohndl
      @Nohndl 4 года назад +2

      Perhaps you can attempt to repair that relationship with whomever you had the breakup with. Just talk about what was in your mind and heart, honestly, while listening to the other person. Each of you have your views/truths as you determined.
      I am not saying that you need to reconnect but it certainly helps to resolve the problems in order to move forward and maybe even become friends since you know each other so well.

    • @selalewis9189
      @selalewis9189 4 года назад +10

      I think that's why a lot of people don't like the show. It's too close for comfort. We often turn to entertainment to escape and Insecure isn't offering it. I, too, feel that sting when I think of all that I went through in my twenties. But it's also a credit to Issa Rae and her writer's room willing to lean into a more nuanced, complicated depiction of an emotional black life. It's a beautiful-looking show but it's not aspirational.

    • @applecrave1097
      @applecrave1097 4 года назад +5

      @@selalewis9189 I think it's aspirational for the fact that it's willing to go there, to present us with this nuanced narrative that reflects real life, rather than offering something that offers nothing new. It makes us reflect on ourselves and think on how we could be better.

  • @F_Jones
    @F_Jones 4 года назад +77

    I wonder if they realize this was over 4 seasons

    • @ndondomtolo6878
      @ndondomtolo6878 4 года назад +4

      My thoughts exactly...I'm dying for season 5,

    • @mariee_e
      @mariee_e 4 года назад +5

      I felt like they didn’t actually watch it. We can see thru ur tactics, vanity fair

  • @SagwadiMaluleke
    @SagwadiMaluleke 4 года назад +24

    Y'all forgot that it was her birthday on season 1 😑 she was expecting something more

  • @deerobison3287
    @deerobison3287 4 года назад +99

    The guy is on point ! Both of them had fault!

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +4

      The woman therapist is terrible.

  • @KatherineMartin502
    @KatherineMartin502 4 года назад +209

    Issa doesn’t have a great job she hates her job.

    • @roslyn-rose124
      @roslyn-rose124 4 года назад +1

      I guess it's great like it helps people

    • @antoniobrooks1113
      @antoniobrooks1113 4 года назад +4

      At first she did really like working at We Got Y’all. Stuff didn’t really change until season 2

    • @KatherineMartin502
      @KatherineMartin502 4 года назад +16

      Antonio Brooks she literally hated the job in the pilot episode. Issa told this children it’s the first job I got out of college. Issa found things she liked. When she noticed what an impact new experiences can have on the youth. But this wasn’t her first choice.

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 4 года назад +2

      We gotch y'all?? Was a dump she hated

    • @camrontunes3591
      @camrontunes3591 3 года назад +2

      Just the fact she has a job and she does what she loves ... kinda of but it’s the people and she feels like the token blk

  • @nubianhairhealerbigmecca3168
    @nubianhairhealerbigmecca3168 4 года назад +214

    The male therapist kinda gets it lol

    • @-Bloomingtales
      @-Bloomingtales 4 года назад +36

      If I had to pick who to bring my issues to it’d definitely be him lol he likes to dig into the how behind the why and what.

    • @beneficent2557
      @beneficent2557 3 года назад +5

      He knows how to pander to his customers. What about Lawrence's Standards? Y'all take trust and loyalty for granted.

  • @shashavengesayi6055
    @shashavengesayi6055 4 года назад +103

    If Issa agrees to become a stepmom that's gonna really interesting to see, cause that means she'll have to at some point bump into Canola Oil

    • @anissa2361
      @anissa2361 4 года назад +11

      Lol, not Canola Oil, but I hope she's not pregnant with Lawrence's baby. If she is I hope Issa does stay with him.

    • @shashavengesayi6055
      @shashavengesayi6055 4 года назад

      A'Mya Springer do you think she’s lying that he’s the father

    • @anissa2361
      @anissa2361 4 года назад +6

      @@shashavengesayi6055 She could be possibly out of spite because she knows Lawrence wasn't really over Issa when they were together. Also she had gone on a trip with another guy so it could be that guy's baby, but we won't find out until next season.

    • @shashavengesayi6055
      @shashavengesayi6055 4 года назад +2

      @@anissa2361 good observation. that would make her so trifling if she did that. And whoever she went on a trip with was probably a rebound for her

    • @ndondomtolo6878
      @ndondomtolo6878 4 года назад +1

      😂😂😂🙌

  • @eileen2316
    @eileen2316 4 года назад +68

    The lady therapist really understands the situation for both people and her voice is so calming. The other therapist also did a very great job of analyzing and moving the conversations.

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +6

      No, the lady therapist is being completely lopsided in her judgement and both therapists have obviously not watched the show. Have YOU?

  • @katiedo5405
    @katiedo5405 4 года назад +661

    Can we get some therapists of color in here please lol

    • @Whitney322
      @Whitney322 4 года назад +116

      Black therapists specifically

    • @BOOBABYJLG
      @BOOBABYJLG 4 года назад +14

      PLEASE!!!!

    • @justapersonwithlungs
      @justapersonwithlungs 4 года назад +16

      Lmao I was looking for that comment

    • @HannahEstherRuth
      @HannahEstherRuth 4 года назад +70

      I feel you, but I actually think they’ve done a great job. Especially since they’ve got differing opinions.

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 4 года назад +4

      OMG yes! I don't think they get a lot of what's the real. They don't get it.

  • @Kaniac789
    @Kaniac789 4 года назад +16

    I’m really happy they picked these characters to discuss, other wise it probably wouldn’t have came into my timeline! Thanks to RUclips’s algorithm!! I’ll be searching for their podcast! Love this combo!!

  • @reydjz
    @reydjz 4 года назад +48

    You can tell ms lady never actually watched the show. She keeps making assumptions that are wrong. Lawrence was kinda depressed and stuck on the couch for 4 years while issa was essentially the bread winner at a job she hated. They had no communication. The things shes saying are as if she never watched it

    • @rndmusrnm2763
      @rndmusrnm2763 4 года назад +11

      They’re not watching the shows/movies in their entirety. They’re only given a couple clips and react the best they can.

  • @simplyambyy
    @simplyambyy 4 года назад +40

    Okay, now do Issa and Molly’s friendship 😭

  • @icechipz
    @icechipz 4 года назад +128

    The lady therapist is so on point!! Just spittin straight facts!!

    • @carolyneryan7152
      @carolyneryan7152 4 года назад +5

      I agree. It’s exactly my perspective on every point.

    • @jerryos356
      @jerryos356 4 года назад +7

      I think the male therapist doesn’t understand that even the writers of the show are not pro-Issa, the show is not trying to justify her decisions, it’s trying to show us that she’s working to be better and is struggling, time and time again.

    • @barikareese
      @barikareese 4 года назад +12

      In a relationship emotional, and naturally for women, financial stability is needed to feel secure. I think the female therapist willfully disregarded those things. This isn't justification but you can't expect one person to carry a relationship then wonder why they're wandering when they're clearly unhappy.

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +21

      Excuse me? The "lady" *pfft* therapist is completely one-sided in her read of the entire relationship and is basically blaming Issa for the entire situation. Have you even watched the show? Are you an unemployed man leeching off a woman for years?

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +3

      @@carolyneryan7152 You and all the other Karens of the world. Please explain your reasoning and defend your position. Are you somehow taking the fact that ONE questionable online therapist said everything in your inner-heart, and now you're sure that you are right? Have you even seen the show? Please tell me your "EVERY POINT."

  • @jupiterwilkymay5161
    @jupiterwilkymay5161 4 года назад +103

    this series can easily be a TV show

    • @Nohndl
      @Nohndl 4 года назад +6

      It is a TV show. Or did you mean the therapist discussion?

    • @jupiterwilkymay5161
      @jupiterwilkymay5161 4 года назад +7

      @@Nohndl re: this VF series. i understand that Insecure is a TV show.

    • @tyronekane1
      @tyronekane1 4 года назад +1

      No one watches TV anymore

  • @goodrose4734
    @goodrose4734 4 года назад +106

    They didnt have to be black but at least make sure they watch the show..

    • @AudjL__EXO-L
      @AudjL__EXO-L 3 года назад +8

      Given how many episodes (of the vanity fair that theyre doing) and this most likely isnt their main job, i doubt they have time to watch the entire show (plus other shows like friends etc that theyve done analysis on)

    • @danbrown1344
      @danbrown1344 3 года назад +1

      @@AudjL__EXO-L Then Vanity Fair should have gotten two other therapists

    • @AudjL__EXO-L
      @AudjL__EXO-L 3 года назад

      @@danbrown1344 more people to not watch the show? any other therapists still have their jobs...

    • @danbrown1344
      @danbrown1344 3 года назад +4

      @@AudjL__EXO-L You can't convince me that Vanity Fair couldn't make a post asking if any licensed couples therapists have watched Insecure and would like to discuss the relationship dynamics on VF's platform. Like they would have to clear one day of their schedule, they would get paid, it would be great marketing for themselves, and would be an opportunity to help people have better relationships.

  • @LimenKimLeMonSta
    @LimenKimLeMonSta 4 года назад +21

    I think next time it should be therapists/ counsellors who have watched the show or a research assistant who has done proper research. The scene in the restaurant issa and Lawrence were not dating they had just met up to catch up.

  • @ToyaDhaDiva
    @ToyaDhaDiva 4 года назад +16

    I wish you used therapists that actually watch the series and understood the background or context

  • @donnaa8004
    @donnaa8004 4 года назад +27

    MORE MORE MORE MORE PLEASE OF THIS!!! EVERYDAY MORE OF THEM REACTING AND TALKING PLEASE!!!!!!!!

  • @theol1618
    @theol1618 4 года назад +38

    They sort of glossed over the spectrum of the relationship

    • @beautifulsurprise9424
      @beautifulsurprise9424 4 года назад +10

      It’s a four season series and they only had a little over 20 mins 🤷🏾‍♀️. I would have liked them to discuss more too but apparently time didn’t permit it.

  • @MaRyaYTOfficial
    @MaRyaYTOfficial 4 года назад +38

    I think context matters, it would’ve helped them both. Issa was wrong for cheating and not communicating. Lawrence was wrong for not being present for Issa, but he was in a dark place. She didn’t say something sooner and help him get out that place. But it couldn’t have to have to be completely on her. He wasnt communicating also.

    • @marzellholbrook6130
      @marzellholbrook6130 4 года назад +1

      Yup. They gotta watch the entire season to really get it

    • @MiracleMadkins
      @MiracleMadkins 4 года назад +5

      she explained in this latest season to him that she did try for the entire time that he was in a rut. i don't condone cheating because its terrible and a pathetic thing to do but also, feeling like you're unable to get through to someone you love when they refuse to try put both of them in terrible positions smh.

    • @rashadmuhammad1991
      @rashadmuhammad1991 4 года назад +1

      sounds like b.s. to me. but it was expected

  • @thetriplethreat3
    @thetriplethreat3 3 года назад +3

    I recently had a similar talk with my ex after 4 years just this past week and I’m telling you it’s transformative

  • @eileen4851
    @eileen4851 4 года назад +77

    I’d prefer black therapists discussing this. You guys have range but there are black qualified professionals that could better analyze this

    • @jasminemosley7419
      @jasminemosley7419 3 года назад

      Issa doesn’t have a great job she hates her job.

  • @inherbeautyrising
    @inherbeautyrising 4 года назад +18

    It was 4 years not a year! It really would have been helpful if they watched the show because clips don't tell all the facts.

    • @SherylS
      @SherylS 4 года назад

      The clip they showed, Issa actually says it was 4 years. She didn't pay attention I guess

  • @jellyrcw12
    @jellyrcw12 4 года назад +4

    I'm SO glad you covered them, I just finished watching the whole series. Please cover Molly and Issa next!!

  • @MrJbake17
    @MrJbake17 4 года назад +3

    That part about loving your partner through their lowest lows 🔥

  • @mianicole95
    @mianicole95 4 года назад +57

    Never watched "Insecure" and now I want to. Lol

  • @desireeskumachan
    @desireeskumachan 4 года назад +3

    I love this Couple’s Therapist Review series, they breakdown so much the relationship facets. But keep it neutral and professional

  • @tolaizard
    @tolaizard 4 года назад +12

    Yo she’s not even trying to hide her thoughts but speaking as someone that does not believing in cheating or people using disappointment as an excuse to hurt someone else that trusts them .... I agree with Ms. Heck. Issa wasn’t happy with the way Lawrence was slacking she should’ve just told him not skip out on the relationship and cheat

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +2

      Of course, and Issa (the character and the Actor) will tell you the same thing. Just because it's on screen doesn't mean that this is condoning the action. Have you even watched the show?

  • @iammilorex
    @iammilorex 2 года назад +2

    A therapist can explain the psychological aspects. A black therapist understands additional cultural layers better.
    So, it's not just the psychological aspect, but what are the pressures and expectations of being a black man or woman in society?
    What are the roles that they play?
    What are their expectations of each other as a black couple?

  • @dancerfruit2
    @dancerfruit2 4 года назад +2

    I started listening to you guys on marriage therapy radio on Spotify and I've been loving it so far. As a social worker/therapist and unmarried women.

  • @LWOliver
    @LWOliver 4 года назад +13

    yes, yes, yes, OMG yes, I'm so ready for this video. okay, I'm gonna watch it now.

  • @rndmusrnm2763
    @rndmusrnm2763 4 года назад +7

    Why is everyone hating on the female therapist? Obviously if you didn’t watch the entire series ur perception of their relationship is gonna be skewed, but u can’t fault her for that. They literally just gave her edited clips to react to and she well...reacted.

  • @MissA0928
    @MissA0928 4 года назад +8

    Ooh I'm loving this marriage counselor series and i love insecure I'm glad they picked this show

  • @modupeadebayo7529
    @modupeadebayo7529 4 года назад +1

    I love the different perspectives of the therapists, there are different ways to look at a thing. This is great!!

  • @nickeliacin9075
    @nickeliacin9075 3 года назад +7

    Everyone in the comments is not seeing her point of view because Issa is the hero of the show, she was written to be liked.

  • @ashleylong679
    @ashleylong679 4 года назад +1

    These are some of my favorite Vanity Fair videos. Keep them coming!!

  • @arielleprepetit4144
    @arielleprepetit4144 4 года назад +2

    Yessss I love this Vanity Fair series and this duo! Would love to see reviews on friendships🙏🏾

  • @erickaj7373
    @erickaj7373 9 месяцев назад +1

    Why would they think that Lawrence was about to get violent? If Issa felt that way she definitely wouldn’t have blocked the door.

  • @lucgrillet5972
    @lucgrillet5972 4 года назад +20

    uhhh why do I feel like the woman hasn’t watched the full show? wish the approach to this was more intersectional... also how they gonna just skip three seasons like that I’m so weak. but pretty cool. the real complex relationship is between molly and issa....

    • @kenyafromcali
      @kenyafromcali 4 года назад +5

      They’re not supposed watch the full show. They do this on a few episodes for different series. I think they do an incredible job. This actually mirrors what they get in live therapy. People are rarely completely forth coming.

  • @Inna_98
    @Inna_98 4 года назад

    The reason why I like to hear both of them it's because they bring a diffrent opinion to the analysis of relationships, and they both usually make pretty good points not only about the show/character they're watching but stuff to consider when it comes to real life relationships

  • @cwilson586
    @cwilson586 4 года назад +3

    Haha why did the bleeps stop around 8:10? It turned into a free for all 😂😂

  • @tarawalker4086
    @tarawalker4086 4 года назад +33

    Why do I feel these are the last two people that should be analyzing the relationship in the show Insecure 🤔 It doesn't seem like they actually watch the show &a misunderstanding of cultural dynamics could be a factor in their analysis.

    • @davehan241
      @davehan241 4 года назад +4

      Sounds about white...

  • @beautifulsurprise9424
    @beautifulsurprise9424 4 года назад +15

    Why did they bleep the f word in the beginning of the video and let it fly 20 times at 8:12?

  • @Mistiny1791
    @Mistiny1791 3 года назад +3

    Issa literally hated her job. This woman really skimmed over the real pressures Issa was feeling. She was in a job she hated and felt trapped in. And on top of that was being forced to support herself and her partner. She was stressed and couldn’t even talk about how stressed and burdened she felt because Lawrence was too busy feeling sorry for himself. Of course she cheated.

  • @shelley6373
    @shelley6373 4 года назад +3

    Could someone please analyze Molly and Issa's friendship? I feel like it's a really interesting friendship and we tend to place more emphases on romantic relationships as opposed to friendships, and it would be nice to dig into this one. Great video, btw😊

  • @alb4219
    @alb4219 4 года назад +4

    I would love to see them react to Celine and Jesse in Before Midnight, so complicated and so much emotion

  • @SZAliaBanks
    @SZAliaBanks 3 года назад +4

    They need Black therapists on here but I did really enjoy the woman therapist’s input. 13:12 sums up my opinion of their relationship entirely.
    I’m also someone who has a flight response when I’m very upset and my past partners blocking my exit has only escalated things in the past.

  • @BOOBABYJLG
    @BOOBABYJLG 4 года назад +28

    Analysis, shmanalysis. You can tell they dont watch the show 🙄🙄🙄

  • @issygzmn8161
    @issygzmn8161 3 года назад +1

    I think it’s kinda comforting to see that even relationship therapists aren’t always in a agreement. In so many relationships, not even necessarily romantic, people are sometimes so focused on whose in the right or wrong when in reality most times aren’t that black and white and there might not be one right perspective

  • @UdochiOkeke
    @UdochiOkeke 4 года назад +1

    That's actually the beauty of the show. It's a show that is so polarizing, because everybody who watches it sees something different. I have never experienced a show like this before. Where I literally don't agree with anybody else's opinion, and as many people as watch teh show are as many viewpoints there are on waht is happening.

  • @sarath7619
    @sarath7619 4 года назад +4

    Please dissect Molly's and Andrew's relationship next. PLEASE!

  • @jbtv5776
    @jbtv5776 4 года назад +10

    Kinda feels like the therapists didn't watch the series.

  • @OceanLily
    @OceanLily 4 года назад +10

    Clearly she has an anti cheater bias no matter how unhealthy a relationship is, which I totally agree with. get out before you put out.

    • @beneficent2557
      @beneficent2557 3 года назад

      "anti cheater bias" just leave & go it alone.

  • @truegrit2011
    @truegrit2011 3 года назад +2

    Loved this. They both nailed this relationship in my opinion.

  • @addiha9079
    @addiha9079 4 года назад +3

    can you guys do one on emotinally unavailable/ emotionally selfish partners?

  • @jamilat2719
    @jamilat2719 4 года назад +46

    So we couldn't find any therapists of color. Was this even a thought when putting this together? How many people of color were in the room when this was discussed? Have these therapists even watched the show?

    • @kaverisharma9467
      @kaverisharma9467 4 года назад +2

      I was thinking the same thing. Smh.

    • @christine3477
      @christine3477 4 года назад +7

      Said the same thing!! Not even one!? To speak on the black relationship experience on a black show!? This is super tone deaf them thinking this was cool. Nobody asked for this.

    • @julem247
      @julem247 4 года назад +1

      @@christine3477 So agree!!!!!

    • @jill9206
      @jill9206 4 года назад +7

      It's a series and it's always these two

    • @beneficent2557
      @beneficent2557 3 года назад

      I think I see why black guys date outside their communities. This is gross.

  • @sarahpavri
    @sarahpavri 3 года назад +1

    I WANT MORE OF THESE

  • @devilusadvocatias
    @devilusadvocatias 2 года назад +3

    I see in the comments the sentiment that a Black Therapist's analyses is needed to be represented on Insecure. I was wondering, would a Black therapist be needed for Issa and Lawrence or just a therapist. Are black therapists more effective with black clients or can a non-black therapist be just as effective?

    • @FocalPointElisa
      @FocalPointElisa 2 года назад

      A good therapist/counselor is effective regardless of race identity. I believe some may have a personal preference based on experiences, and others may have a biased based on views/sentiments with the series.

  • @ipsilonia
    @ipsilonia 4 года назад +2

    i loved this but they CLEARLY didn't watch the last episode. i would've loved a therapists' thoughts on that.

  • @DeeDee597
    @DeeDee597 2 года назад +1

    Anybody notice how much weight Issa lost between the first episode and the episode where Lawrence confronted Issa for cheating?

  • @Honeyluvssteph
    @Honeyluvssteph 4 года назад +4

    Absolutely loved this

  • @beslanderin5229
    @beslanderin5229 4 года назад +6

    Clip beep swearing in the first clip, second clip let's it fly about 20 times

  • @jessicakeenan8624
    @jessicakeenan8624 4 года назад

    Please keep this series going it's amazing!

  • @jessicabrown3184
    @jessicabrown3184 4 года назад +3

    I think it would be impossible to trust someone who couldn’t truly show up for you in your greatest time of need. As well I think finding anyone after that. Once on your feet, equally will be hard to truly trust them. To be vulnerable, bc life teaches you that’s when people leave or why they never showed up. It’s pretty emotionally damaging , even after healing. I feel it alters your perception of the world. At least that has been my experience.
    For me if I were him I would feel like “ oh so ... loyalty and love is only valid when I’m at my best, leaving you often to feel like you have to be super human , perfect in order to be loved , appreciated, and that’s not love. I understand he also betrays her by neglecting their relationship, neglecting her. People who are “in love” don’t cheat. So something is broken before cheating happens. Someone is being neglected in some way shape or form.
    But if I were him, I would never be able to feel vulnerable , knowing that her love was and prob always will be conditional. Maybe loving unconditionally isn’t possible for humans, but I like to think it’s something to strive for. With an equally invested partner. Sure no relationship works when it’s half hearted , one foot in, one foot out. It’s not a sturdy foundation.
    An affair is big as well, bc you’d question always what else have they been lying about ? I always find it the most heart breaking when you love someone still but there is no way to repair bc the betrayal, disappointments were to big. I waited a really long time for someone I emotionally invested in to put his actions where his words were. I think he thought he was sincere , but I think when it came down to making the leap of faith, he just couldn’t do it. At least not with me. I suppose whatever he needs to feel secure he will find, and hopefully I’ll find someone with more courage and sincerity . Sure some things just aren’t meant to be , and it always makes sense in the long run why it wasn’t meant to be , just takes a little min to get there and heal

  • @NicolasTylerDoyle
    @NicolasTylerDoyle 2 года назад +2

    I guess ‘moments’ can be years now apparently ? Lol

  • @miguelircontar
    @miguelircontar 4 года назад +3

    This is my favorite show ever

  • @dralissa123
    @dralissa123 4 года назад +2

    I like how these therapists have different points of view

  • @FRANCHISE143MUSIC
    @FRANCHISE143MUSIC 4 года назад +51

    Why do I feel like the female therapist is fresh out of her own toxic relationship?

    • @trackmaster232
      @trackmaster232 4 года назад +7

      At 14:05 the male therapist calls her out on this too and then it gets tense.

    • @FRANCHISE143MUSIC
      @FRANCHISE143MUSIC 4 года назад

      Claudia Choi yes! awkward 😆

  • @donnaa8004
    @donnaa8004 4 года назад +3

    THEY SHOULD HAVE A TV SHOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @fernandao.5001
    @fernandao.5001 4 года назад +1

    YAAAY, I love your podcast!

  • @herreguda6199
    @herreguda6199 4 года назад

    Omg, yes! What we've been waiting for!

  • @DanieleAlexis
    @DanieleAlexis 3 года назад +2

    I can’t even watch this all the way through cuz of how wrong this therapist is treating Issa. She is WAY deep in the Lawrence hive.

  • @xiaoshuangwu4680
    @xiaoshuangwu4680 4 года назад +2

    yes! You are back!!!!!!

  • @TheSuperNats
    @TheSuperNats 4 года назад

    Really good analysis so happy you guys did Insecure!

  • @shana9740
    @shana9740 4 года назад +1

    This was good. Missed some stuff but still good.

  • @jannettealejo1990
    @jannettealejo1990 4 года назад

    I love these videos I could watch these two for hours!

  • @wl1872
    @wl1872 4 года назад +2

    Christina Yang and Preston Burke please 🙏🏾

  • @trinibwoy27
    @trinibwoy27 4 года назад +2

    Loved this discussion 😁😁😁❤❤❤

  • @athenajaxon2397
    @athenajaxon2397 4 года назад

    I like that they bleeped out the first two fucks but not the rest 😂

  • @ximenavera1799
    @ximenavera1799 4 года назад +3

    She’s the best!! Love her ❤️