Why Dating is so Tough ft. GoldJacketLuke
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- Luke and I met when I was in Los Angeles and we had a conversation about dating, relationships, self-love and porn addiction. I hope you enjoy it!
I very much enjoyed his perspective on life and human connection as well as learning more about porn addiction, something I only recently discovered. I wasn't aware of the magnitude of problems it has caused some people and I respect Luke for talking so openly about something very important.
In this video I use the term "opposite sex" because I'm speaking from my personal perspective. My intent is not to exclude anyone with a different sexuality.
Thank you Luke for making this video with me! Don't forget to check out the video we made for his video here:
• Love Is Hard To Find I...
My social media:
Instagram: / lanablakely
Facebook: / lanablakelys
Twitter: / lanablakelys
Really nice meeting and filming with you Lana! Looking forward to the future content on your channel! :)
You guys should date.
I dont think he is her type.
Great insight.
@@pianosenzanima1 Why would you say that?
physically i think she likes him but not his personality; also i think she is just smarter than him...this is just my perception, you never know what's in a womans mind :)
If you are looking for a relationship thinking that it will make your life better, that's a mistake. A good relationship is an extension of a good life.
Not having had female companionship for 18 years, that overview tells me my life is worthless and pointless.
davidsirmons So what ??? Tbh with you ! There is nothing magical about having a girlfriend and there is nothing magical about being rich as well.. It’s all about you in the end. Your regrets are only just yours.. no one else shares it for you.. so if you adjust yourself to think that sex and money is as pleasurable as eating suppose a steak or sleeping.. it won’t make it any different would it ? Because in reality too, it’s not different than eating or sleeping. This is envy of others rather than your own true nature. People who had a different girl every night for all their lives and who had unlimited money in their bank accounts were all fed up with it one day too. You just didn’t experience that and that’s what makes you regret it. If you had it, you won’t be so disappointed. Infact, you would be disappointed over other things that your mind lends regret to. It’s with everything nowadays. We are more attracted to things that we cannot have. Our value system is created that way. Very few people are rich so being rich is a great thing. Not everyone has a beautiful girlfriend so having that is a great thing. Everyone wants to be a winner. Everyone wants to be at the top. Everyone wants to fulfill their fantasies, but no one wants the truth.
davidsirmons I remember when I was 19 and never have a gf and was pathetic, wishing I had a gf. I finally got one. I loved her so much. But did my life get better? NO. I’m 22 now and realize even tho having a gf is great you should learn how to love yourself, achieve greatness, and make some friends along the way.
I can understand that not having a gf can be frustrating, but you’ll realize your life isn’t much better. Maybe look into why you don’t have a gf rather than seeing it as bad luck. You’d be surprised what you mind find out about yourself.
If you need rely on someone for happiness, it’s going to be a down hill if/when they break up with you.
I keep hearing this one a lot. I disagree because fundamentally we're not built to be loners. Babies die without contact, adults are of course more robust, but only a fool would believe that loneliness has no effect on you. Like, what if I've got everything in check and I'm just shy? I'm somehow supposed to be automatically happy and that will attract someone? I don't think it works like that in practice.
Dating is easy, finding someone who actually loves you is hard.
No woman fels love
@DrawingAdventure agreed
Dating is not easy unless your extroverted/charismatic or have good looks. For the rest of us it's even worse.
You need to be in the six club
6ft
6 figures $$$
And 6" or more
lol
I'm not actually super good looking, I'm not rich, I'm a shy person, but I do take care of my body at the gym lifting weights. Finding someone who loves you for what you are it's hard.
I don't think Lana realises how god damn gorgeous she is.
Same for Luke
@@califtom
_"she's so insanely hot. wish I was married to her"_
If you only standard for a wife is her being hot, you are in serious trouble.
@@BlunderCity well that goes for most man, were doomed
@@martynobs6970 that goes for you, shes normal
@@califtom thank you.
Quitting porn is one of the best things you can do for living a wholesome and productive life, God bless
12:12 how long did he break for?
Porn addict: I bet they smashed at the end
Non Porn addict: wow this was a great video... they seemed very informed about the mentioned topics
Real Porn Addict: She's hot. *Starts searching porn with similar looking girls*
Hassan 2k Whiteside they didn’t smash, so obvious lol
@@DoomCookie based
They hide it to seem legit
But I don't know
One of the sad reality is that many people view relationships as a "trophy" that can be brag about when you got a beautiful girlfriend or a handsome boyfriend, or you got a rich guy/woman. This is one of the most toxic things in "modern" relationships in my opinion.
Hey I found myself relating to this. I know that it is a bad perspective to have at a relationship but how do I change my views on it? For eg I have a crush on this girl but even though I try to appreciate her for her personality and intelligence I find myself thinking subconsciously how beautiful she is and how awesome it would be if she was my girlfriend.
it's not a modern thing, always been like that in history of society
@@scaramouche768 maybe her personality was bland and intelligence was subpar so you defaulted to beauty?
Ya whoever is scrolling through the comments hope you have a phenomenal day. Get ya bread and all the crumbs too. Stack and act broke 😤🤟🏾😤🤟🏾
Women Leech You’re lame
You too bro.. ill prey for your riches 🙂
its 3:44am xD
You should be living lower than your actual income to save money...if that makes any sense. I worded that weirdly
❤️
Shes on a whole new level of gorgeous
Well, said.
*gorgeousness
Yes , off the charts woman there
Wow they filmed their first date
@Modern Machiavelli Wow you're judgy aren't you
@@Colorstalker Google Machiavelli, lol
@Modern Machiavelli
I would have put that differently but yes I do agree with you he's still a very anxious guy and he's too in his head. He's a real sensitive soft type and unfortunately those things aren't always considered attractive in males. Smart guy though, but needs to work on becoming grounded and being more masculine but those things come with life experience.
@Modern Machiavelli Yeah this is good advice
@Modern Machiavelli Luke? Anxious? Yes, but definitely not as anxious as you think he is.
He used to do public pranks. Im sure he isn't as anxious as many of us are.
Do you find dating to be difficult?
Most definitely, especially the older you get.
Its because of culture what youre supposed to do and what not
Yes. I've been on many first dates.
For me it seem easier the older I get.
@@darrellcantfindtreasure5205 Good for you and glad to actually hear that is the case.
I stopped watching porn, became more courageous and all of that but Lana still didn’t respond to my dms smh
Respect to this fallen soldier.
@@germanfuentes9460 F
Don't view women above you because modern women don't see men above them, until you at least see yourself as an equal then will they have interest
Derek Kase bro I was playing lol quality advice tho
F
I love that you are brave enough to speak out against pornography. It ruins relationships. We need more brave people to fight against "the tobacco of our generation."
#fightthenewdrug #pornkillslove
I really admire the courage of this guy to be brave enough and accept his addiction in order to stop it, even though he knew that a certain amount of people was going to make fun of him he decided to show himself a little vulnerable but real and make the best choice for him.
PDT: I'm not a native english speaker but I tried to do my best to say what I think
agree
Disclaimer! Great video btw! Let me share some advice with you guys, I feel as though I can help some people in the comments. I found that there aren't a lot of people in the world like me. I very rarely find someone who resonates on the same frequency as I do. With that being said, I found the greatest love you can have is for yourself. If you truly love yourself and your life, love will be in abundence everywhere. I trust the universe that my vibe will attract my tribe. It's not about 2 half's coming together. Its about 2 wholes coming together. Sending positive vibes your way. 🙏📿☮️
TheamazingPK love this 🙏🙏
TheamazingPK Beautiful.
Very well said!
Loved your comment bru, I am starting to realise the same. You’re right. It’s important to find yourself and be happy with yourself before you start sharing yourself with someone else, because you need to feel so good about yourself and not co depend on anyone or feel hurt by someone else, especially not take any dis respect. Be able to just enjoy time with someone for periods of time without compromising yourself or your likes and dislikes.
Wow, I completely agree with Luke’s argument about porn being the tobacco of our generation. Porn fulfills a temporary need, just as drugs or likes on Instagram do, but the more we indulge in it, the more empty we feel inside. I think instant gratification is an epidemic in our social media driven world, and self-discipline and not needing outside approval might be part of the antidote. I appreciate how open and honest both of you were in this video. Keep up the insightful videos Lana!
Kramerino yep, it’s all about that instant gratification. Thank you so much for watching!
Bro nofap changed my life, its like being high all the time euphoric feeling except you're not doing any drugs
Kramerino faxxxx
God help us💔😭
@Cindy Lou terrified? Good luck thats a problem that *Most* men have haha and we wont just openly talk about it
I stopped watching porn a couple of months ago and I've never felt so proud of myself. It was destroying my mind, my health, my life. But now I live freely. We can all do the same♡ Love y'all
🔥🔥
What kind did you watch?
This channel really deserves more subs.
Thank you for your support Nate!
When I got my heartbroken, I beat porn addiction in that moment. Sometimes you just need a wake up call. Other times it's sheer discipline
That is amazing.
Happy for you bro
Any tips man? Serious question
Whenever I get the feeling of looking at porn, I just repeat “discipline” in my head non-stop until I stop getting that feeling. For some reason, at least for me, it helps. Then I try to change my environment. Maybe I’ll go for a walk or call up a friend or something, basically keep yourself busy.
The issue is that over the years you psychologically condition yourself to look at porn. Kinda like how ringing a bell for food will cause a dog to salivate, doing something like laying on your bed or sitting on your desk chair or other areas where you frequently look at porn will, erm, arouse you. That’s why change in our life is necessary to break that.
@@avpthegreat ........................
If you noticed the ninja at 9:05, like and comment 👍
sniff sniff
@@SnowSTARGamesRBC 🎶Bite bite, sip sip, do the deep dish combo mambo🎶
Another one at 11:27. This one's a professional. I bet you didn't see him.
Iyaiyaiya i see it
@@ClifffSVK i see it to, behind her hair?
Sitting in nature and having an intelligent conversation on personal/social issues where you can understand another's perspective and add to it without making the other feel negated or invalidated... Yup. Thanks a lot Lana for showing me exactly what was missing in my life. I can work on visualizing and attaining it now. Hoping you continue to grow wiser and make videos like these 💕
Thank you for your lovely comment!
thank you for putting into words what I couldnt,
and thanks Lana for this amazing work.
this is genuinely what we lack in our misplaced social-media driven cultur.
keep up the good work sweetheart
dropping a like for the kid crying in the playground
we have all been dragged from the slide when we didnt want to leave yall 🙃
"Seek ye the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all THESE things will added to you"(freely). Mat. 6:33
@Stefan Urban I think something in the bible says you go straight to hell if you do that so you're screwed either way lol
@Stefan Urban my cousin told me about it can't remember the passage sorry
Amen🙏Jesus is the Lord
Amen
@@jestersage8700 on a side note, I looooove your pfp because I loooove Hisoka
9:05
SQUIRREL!!!
The real starr of the show
Focus on what they are saying.
sniff sniff
How cute is it...
😂😂😂. This guy is funny
The irony here is that if you can create and live a bountiful life, then there's no more need to find someone.
But sometimes a loving partner can accelerate that path to happiness.
@@StefTechSurfer There is no such path.
@@breatheeasily4013 studies show human connection leads to longer life
@@pt6731 haveing good human connections and interactions is obviously good for you, no one is suggesting you to be unsocial, but that type of happiness or connection isn't just reserved to come from a loving partner.
My greatest goal is to have a goal.
Id like to know if you found it yet as well
when everyone stops watching porn, we create a happier world where there is more attention for each other within the relationship, there would be much fewer divorces.
mgtow
Well yes, but how tf are we supposed to do that
Porn is keeping alot from having risk of stds and wait for someone special, just make hookups stop and people would value more one they find someonr
or it would be easier when women behave more like a porn star in bed - not just for alpha chad and tyrone but also for their husband/bf. women are addicted to social media ... likes and followers. it gives them an ego boost , so why we demonize porn but let women become attention whores ?
MrSmithie25 well said. It’s good to suggest less porn usage but demonizing porn isn’t the solution.
Thots will be thots tho.
I want to start out by saying thank you Lana for the wonderful quality time video. I still believe in old become what you want to attract. So if you want someone who is respectful, caring, loyal, or whatever that may be, you need to become that person. I also think men should also dont be afraid to look to see what things you can change about yourself. I personally learned to reflect on myself even during the relationship not on what's wrong with my partner but what can I do better. Taking care of one's self is in important, does one groom, does one take a little extra effort to dress a little nicer, the suddle things tell the person, if your willing to do that for yourself, perhaps you would be willing to do that for them, all ties back into the become more of what you want to attract
Thank you Josh, and thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic - I definitely agree!
@@LanaBlakely your input is always appreciated and I enjoy videos, they have insightful information and I love that you add perception into and give a well rounded perception as well as your own thoughts on the matter.
It's not a gender thing, it's an individual matter. Sure men and women are different biologically and have varied interests but the core morals and core values remain the same.
I have more growing up to do
We all do!
I want friends like you guys
Saaaaame
•Then be one😛
•GO out and try to find them
Xdd yeah fr me too
Beautiful auras:)
This was great
As a Christian I struggled hard with wanting to watch adult videos. One of my friends took advantage of me at a young age and it spin my head around. It over sexualized me but made me afraid at a young age, I started watching those videos too young in my opinion. I got caught by my parents and it was mortifying. Years later I went through depressive episodes and I though watching those videos helped but it just made me feel lonelier and guilty. I really don't think it helps anyone it's toxic
Seeing two very attractive young people talk about how you don't need to be defined by relationships is like seeing two multimillionaires talk about how you don't need to be defined by your money. These two are in high demand so they can afford to be above it all. Joe and Jane Butterface do not have the same luxury.
Love is serving others with our actions. That's God's teaching on love.
Love is not a feeling of pleasure that we feel within ourselves.
Rather, love is doing right.
It is not what we feel.
The feeling (i.e. desire) is not love, but rather lust.
So, if a person calls their feelings "love" and keeps chasing after their own feelings, they will always be disappointed and say "I haven't found love." But the truth is that they were never seeking love. They were seeking lust.
God showed His love to us in what He *did*. The Father sent the Son to buy us back from the guilt of sin, death, and the power of the devil. Jesus is now risen from the dead and is seated in glory. He will come again.
A person finds meaning when they meditate on (i.e. read) God's Word. He is the true God, and He teaches the love that
"never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Psychology is the religion of our time, and it is a foundation of sand. True faith is to believe in Jesus, who said "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock" (Matthew 7:24-25).
I would say dating was super easy when I was your age, I'm assuming they both around 19 or early 20's. But now that I'm in my early 30's and been through many failed relationships it's definitely a lot harder now. You tend to take less risk when you older, you spot warning signs very quickly and much less tolerant because you know yourself very well and know what you want and what you like. You also feel comfortable being on your own so I find myself not putting in much effort anymore into finding someone.
I think Lana is actually older than she looks.
Came here for Lana, stayed for the trees...
yes those trees just know how to be
I came for lana but stayed for the playground
I came for Lana, but stayed for that green fence in the back
I came for Lana, and stained my pants.
Richard I knew this would happen
Nah, I think it should be a balance of focusing on self goals and improvement and at the same time looking for and pursuing someone to share your life with. You can't rely on the stars to accidentally meet someone that is the one for you, it is incredibly rare to happen, you got to push your luck more.
Everything starts with having confidence in yourself.
A rare no-ponytail Lana sighting!
It sure does. Hah yep, pretty rare nowadays!
Evrything îs an adiction this days, expecially for younger ones... I m 28 and i remember when i was 18 years old all i wanted was to party, get drunk have many Girls etc.. I past that life now, but you get my Point, when you re Young you are more easy to fall în The trap of that crap...ooooo and porn sites was daily for me, even with a gf by my side.and all this îs happening because this îs what The TV promotes ..and trust ME its going to become worse... Anyway great Chanel and my english its not that good, but yea you get my Point...
Been watching this crap since im 13. Now im 22 and trying to get rid of it but its very hard
First of all I don’t want to sound negative or just come out as a person that contradicts or trolls but when many people say, and I’ve seen this in many videos of other people, talking about this “self-love” and look into yourself and improve upon of what you want to find in your ideal lover, this strongly contradicts of what I feel about love and what love represents for me, which is finding in you lover EXACTLY what you don’t find in yourself, therefore completing the void that you desperately cannot fill, which is the lack of love. I’ve had self love for the first 27 years of my life and back then I felt literally no need to be with someone, never. But once I started to doubt myself and started to become weaker I suddenly felt the need for someone to hold me and truly care about me in my lowest state, with no pride, no goals, no nothing. Every time I become let’s say cocky or confident in my powers again I suddenly didn’t felt any love for anyone around me because my self love sustained me. So it drives me crazy when people talk about self-love as a solution for healthy relationships. I think sorrow and desperately needing someone is what love truly flourishes from, in that hour of need, when you are you, naked of all your strengths, not when you are strong and confident. That’s when you don’t feel anything for anyone other than yourself, because yourself us all you need, and that my friend is narcissism. And this is not me saying to be a couch potato and expect people to desperately love you. I’m just crying out loud of the individualism in relationships that is being propagated by this “self-love” concept and that is destroying true live, which is falling in each others arms vulnerable, honest and stop pretending to be tough, that’s just bull***. I think in some sense people nowadays became flawed, individualistic, egocentric and stoped carrying for the chosen lover and the total sacrifice that real love represents, if that sacrifice is ever needed. Not saying that is imperative but self-love is exactly the opposite and is detrimental to true love which is impossible to find nowadays due to modern trends like “self-love”. I almost never swear but “self-love” ? I say go fuck yourself... Btw please don’t take this personal, you are clearly good, calm gentle and logical persons but I truly feel deep down that you are wrong, that’s why I written such long post... Sorry for being a little emotional. Cheers!
Just so u know I didn’t bother to read this:/
makeouthill I understand, reading is hard
Wow, didn’t even noticed these replies. Thanks but I discovered Nietzsche so it’s all good now. Bye bye to all this love nonsense herd slave mentality. It’s all Call to Power from now on baby. Keeping my sorrows for my art in secret from now on. People and relationships don’t interest me anymore, they are just “extra spices” for my well being if they happen to be. If not then... I can do just fine by myself, sometimes even better. Being sentimental and living with resentment is for losers anyway. Is spartan life from now on, kill or be killed... Valhalla is a place to strive for anyway, and not in the unsure hands of a woman.
Stay who you are I wish more girls were like you. You are so young and you have a high level of awareness.
Be honest and be yourself. When you are with someone with a matching frequency, dating is fun not hard. Never pretend to be someone else to get the other person to like you.
What is not very easy is finding someone with the matching frequency :p
Confidence is a must above all agree and your energy really feeds off people around you. Positivity is great.
Yes indeed!
stay way from people that give bad energy or a bad gut feeling. This people will betray you in a second and have no regrets. sociopaths and narcissist are charming, but one clue to to spot them is that they will laugh at you, not with you.
What your saying breeds fake people....tons of them who say all the right things but believe none of it
I know plenty of confident guys who are bad with woman
Girls are actually attracted to quite boys lol so that's some shitty advice my brother 🥴
If you're ugly just be shy, watch the chicks line up 😂
Interesting video topic, glad to see this! Extra points for shooting it at a children's park!
Thank you. It was different, but I enjoyed the home-y feeling it gave!
Ft. screaming children (just kidding, this was very comfy and insightful, and grounded)
I love the hair lana!
Ahh thank you!
It's probably a wig.
@@krieng lol
Ha , she could do shampoo commercials with that gorgeous do’
Over analyzing for no reason. The reality is that forever alone people have demons they’re scared of. Most likely, scared someone will find out about certain things you’ve concealed your entire life. The real question is, do you believe in love? Or do you believe in fear? Does fear really trump love? Is any combination of factors, battles, and fears worth you not experiencing a higher reality?
What kind of fears do people fear will be exposed?
Love to see these two insightful individuals sitting down and having a legit conversation, truly listening, and holding capacity to pick up what each is putting out. Great video!
Thought Lana was Kendall jenner for a sec when I saw the thumbnail
I also think there is an aspect of the Dunning Kruger effect, that is, as we grow in knowledge about a certain aspect of our being, we in fact begin the true realisation of the size of the task at hand. Keep pushing though this feeling until you reach the slope of enlightenment
Wow, Lana, this video was very informative and amazing !!!!!!! you literally opened my mind about dating and focusing on inner self. 😀 thank you. Keep on doing this great work. 😇
When you least expect it or not looking for true love, you will find it. Happens all the time.
Advice to readers: don't just talk, feel what your saying, walk the walk
They’re really close to my age yet I feel like a lost child under mom and dad! Great advice and tools in this video, I’m hoping the future brings more expressive and higher brain functions out of humanity again since it’s slow.
Cleaning my room is harder than getting a PhD
lol
Dating is extremely easy. Go out and spark a conversation with girl at the mall or all the library. Work on your sense of humor and communication skills. Take public speaking classes. Watch comedy. Read books. Do things that are outside your comfort zone. 1. Stop being a coward. 2. Realize that woman poop, fart, eat and have there own personal problems like you. There human like you. Stop putting them on a pedestal.
Dating is only easy for those who have been socialised well. Did you know people who even as babies did not have parents that would make all sorts of different faces to them can't pick up social cues later on in life (essentially becoming autistic). Imagine telling a person (who since birth has not been socialised well) to just go out there and talk to a girl. If it was a person who's had a very good social life then I'd understand you but some simply haven't had that.
Kinda harsh of you to call them cowards too. You've probably had a good social life since young and, without realising it, been socialised well. Most have been socialised well without realising it. Telling someone to just go talk to someone when they don't have experience is stupid. That's like a gymnast telling someone to just do a backflip because it's easy and they should stop being a coward.
The pedestal part you are absolutely right. Shouldn't put anyone on a pedestal. Only leads to delusion.
I really appreciate this video. All the topics are very relevant. Gonna check out Luke's channel now too. Seems like a good role model.
Porn is so famous... Nobody Gets reject Or Discriminated By their physic or personality Simple is that
osmosis But there is no real human interaction. Often girls are gorgeous and men are just not. Very sexist.
i am here from that a day in a life of introvert video.
here luke seems to be introverted not lana :p
Dude speaks some truth
A little superficial. He has easy, ready-to-think solutions to complex problems.
I love her i love him and i hope they love each other lmfao
BlunderCity don’t be such a perfectionist, of course he has to be multifaceted in these scenarios to keep the audience engaged, but generally he did a good job.
1:35
I'm not sure I agree with that. It's true that we shouldn't wholly ignore our own interests, but by that same token many relationships have been ended unnecessarily because individuals mistake difficult periods for incompatibility, or temporary lack of passion for a dead-end relationship. No human being inspires romantic passion forever; eventually, you will be faced with moments where you stick around with someone because you choose to, not because you desire to. As I understand it, dating is learning to interact with another person in a romantic context, and testing to see if such a partnership would work.
If 80 percent of it is spent working on yourself, that doesn't seem to leave a lot of room for learning what your responsibilities are towards the other person. Which is at least part of why I've been so loathed to engage in it myself, as I know there are things about myself I need to correct before presuming to jump into such a commitment involving another person. If you jump into something that you yourself are not ready for, you're just wasting the other person's time.
2:28
Yes, exactly this. However, that does leave the universally awkward question: how? Presumably it has to be something more substantive than "doing something", in order to feel like it's a worthwhile or valuable goal.
4:30
Yeah... no that's still an issue for me. It never ceases to amaze me how unreasonably happy I can be by a compliment from my crush, and simultaneously forget how many crushes I had before whose words carried the same power, but no longer.
I understand the value of getting validation from something other than the opinions of others. I am not so sure getting validation in career goals or similar projects is much better, however.
7:04
I think fixation on ourselves is part of *why* so many people become needy in relationships. Because they are so focused on what they need, rather than what their own responsibilities are in the relationship. So much of this, however, is dependent upon how clearly you yourself are examining the relationship accurately: is the partner being needy, or are you neglectful, and vice versa. You don't want to ignore your significant other's legitimate needs, but likewise you shouldn't just kowtow to their every whim.
9:00
So what is a "meaningful goal"? What *makes* it meaningful? We can all agree that meaning is important for people's personal development, but unless the criteria for what makes it meaningful is identified, it's little better than saying we ought to pursue things which are "good", or "right", or "as they ought to be". And it's in that space of identifying the source of meaning that so many conflicts across philosophy, religion, and politics find their root.
9:57
I have a very cynical outlook on human nature, so forgive me if this comes across as overly critical: What is this inner self, and why should you appeal to it as the source of meaningful goals? Why would you assume that those desires (what you really want) are reflective of that which you *ought* to want? If we ourselves are the source of meaningful goals, why does the world that we (human beings collectively) created not seem to reflect that?
10:45
I agree fully. I do think it begs the question though: why is such an activity (and the consequences it reaps on the subconscious) bad, undesirable, or otherwise not meaningful? Why shouldn't people sexualize individuals whom they have not met or otherwise do not have a romantic bond with, and why should that be shameful or uncomfortable? Again, I am in full agreement with the assertion. But it would be helpful to explain what those consequences are, and why relationships might be rightfully jeopardized by such behavior.
John, your insightful comments have been missed. Thank you!
Most excellent! I had to watch both videos, yours and Luke’s twice to really get the essence of your discussion. I find connection and commitment are linked and are very important. And yes! Meditation is very key and is something I strongly encourage in my life and with others. This is an important concern to be openly discussed. Communication in many ways is central to all relationship on many levels...
Im an average person. If I want to date, I can. But I think finding some who genuinely loves u for who u are is a very rare thing. Although engaging in dates can give u improvement, It still worth to try. I started working out and improving myself cus I realized that those shallow girls dont deserve my “true” love, but they can have my infatuation.
I like how the guy agrees that he is no expert on the topic he is speaking on but still manages to talk very meaningful and sensible things. Just awesome :)
I ship it
The part where he said people don't want to feel like you are getting something out of them (your own self-esteem) they want to feel loved! That's important.
Absolutely right
Its awesome to find RUclips channels like yours!!! Thank you guys!!
After finding your channel on the Ali Abdal deep dive, I am just obsessed with your videos. So many helpful insights. Keep them coming. Thanks
The average American Woman now weighs as much as the Average 1960s Man. That is why I don't date much... There are so many Women now that are just plain weird also with piercings, tattoos and weird hair colors. Men like traditional values also!
The best way to win is by not playing. Forget about women lads!!
We need more genuine people like you two. This is what more people need to see. I'm really happy I found this.
Well I just got one video of this lovely girl as a recommendation on youtube and wow I am impressed and happy. She gave me another perspective of how to deal with my problems, thanks 😊
Hate real life.. just want escaping damnt real life, dissapointed with real girl so i choose digital one.. just it..
K sir
Go MGTOW
I'm currently playing all your videos from your oldest one. You are so insightful and well-read, I really feel like I'm growing through your videos.
In my last RS I one day walked into to other room and my Ex was watching porn😦😨😞😓😭 I can never recover the trust and the heart break. It totally crush my confidence
that's horrible. So sorry x
Yes right. I think they don't even know how much pain and heartbreak we feel knowing that. It's cruel to do that to a loved one that does everything for you
@@titania8778 If you're insecure to begin with then yeah. It's important to communicate, but people should probably accept that they can't really forbid others to masturbate. I do it, my bf probably does it sometimes (i actually think i do it more because i'm home alone and kinda bored), that's totally fine with me as long as our sex life is great as well.
@@eg4514 but you know it’s possible to masturbate without pornography…
The first advice about dating: Don't give advice about dating.
Nobody wants to be lectured to or hear anything about that (really). Most of us adults went through school and a lectured-styled system for all subjects about life (its boring to most and not everyone learns the same way).
Lana, I was brought here by Mr Reagan. You have good looks, and, you probably have good ideas too (that's not the issue). But, you have an Instagram and selfies (which promote a narcissistic and vain lifestyle). Seriously, that's probably not a good thing, and if you want to give 'advice' to lonely guys on the internet, then be real.
Love yourself doesn't mean take a bunch of photos of yourself and showing the world yourself with new clothes and attractive-style poses (yeah, the way you look at the camera is probably not for other women - which is why pornstars do the same thing in that industry; to get them to click on something). It means the opposite/ It means, I don't need anyone's validation or opinion to have a positive outlook on myself. Period.
Good luck with the channel and the hits.
wtf
The way you perceive her use of social media and her online personality is twisted and gross. did you also actually manage to bring in pornstars in regards to her manner of using social media?? You've a problem.
Great advice before the first minute was even up. "You just have to accept that it's hard, life is hard, and to embrace the challenges that life gives us."
If you can help just one man beat his addiction to the lust on the screen, you have already won. You will go down in history. The addiction is tied in to all the booty pics on social media, it's tied in to that page you follow for some diet tips but the girl is showing more skin then a bikini commercial. It's all tied in. The men I know that beat the addiction had to throw themselves into work, a hobby a purpose beyond the screen. There is a way out but it could be different for everyone. I worked on it after my gf brought me to her therapist because after sex I would go to the bathroom and spank one out. So she called me a sex addict and off to Tennessee I went to a special rehab where I was the youngest and everyone there had a different story relating to their addiction and how it ruined their life. Lust when not controlled will always take over and destroy all that is good and beautiful. Bottom line, I took three different jobs, I worked and worked and gave up on everything just to go long enough to clean and clear my mind, and it worked. Once you go long enough without it and you internalize that it ain't good for you, and you learn about what happens to sex workers and all these stars and how many commit suicide and how so many are actually trafficked from other countries and have no other options but to spread legs etc the list goes on. When you are ready for the truth and you are ready to make changes, the teacher or teachers will appear. Check out "Universal Man" , shout out Mark. He is blessed and so are you for reading this far.
An amazing channel, both yours and Luke's, so happy I found them
Thank you for the support!
lf2 is 10/10, good taste, mate
She will definitely get a great guy as a husband because she’s a great woman. Many women these days only care about how rich a man is, how hot he is and his looks.
If you think that’s what women want….then idk what to tell you cuz that’s not true at all 😬
Being interested in girls is so bèta.
I really really appreciated and loved the section You shared on porn addiction. My long distance husband had one, and says he doesn’t watch it any more, but he has all these expectations from me that mirror his desires from his porn addiction. It has really made me feel insecure about my body and myself and doubt my appearance and knock my self esteem. I’m quite unhappy and can’t really get that across to him. As he’s so sweet otherwise. We haven’t had sex yet, but I’m terrified to. 🥺🥺🥺
The dating world and "relationship world" is extremely uneven and tipped in favor for women. It's extremely bad and created a lot of resentful, hateful man. Maybe the women should actually take some responsabbilitry.
why? men created it.
@@FreeDrugz Eh, no.
Hefnaheimer your wilful ignorance or denial on a topic doesn’t change fact or reality. lol sorry
@@FreeDrugz You not having any arguments whatsoever doesn't change what I said in my first comment. lol sorry.
There's just an imbalance in general, men and woman have problems on both sides of the dating spectrum
9:17 Gravity VS. Kid in the background 1 - 0
I wish you were my sister!!!
If this girl was my girlfriend I would stop watching porn lol
think you missed the point of the video
For a month or two. Trust me, you'll watch porn again no matter how attracted you are to the female you're with.
No, you won't... just wait until she start nagging about everything and you will go right back to porn...
People talking about writing to the other gender could be cheating but what's with watching porn then while having a bf/gf? You shouldn't take it for granted looking at naked bodies while being in a relationship.
@blowing trees 💜
Called golden jacket, isn’t even wearing a golden jacket
Lana, I don't know if you've ever thought of this, but the fact that you are in the top 99.9 percentile of most beautiful girls would statistically make it incredibly difficult for you to even find a guy who would have the inner capacity to be able to attract you on a superficial level in the first place, let alone being able to handle being in a relationship with you (because most guys who would be able to attract you in the moment are probably riding one or another form of a wave of social momentum/ emotionally propped up by external social forces, which would inevitably wear out and leave their underlying weakness to eventually cause them to become emotionally dependant, manifesting either in neediness or some form of aggression (this can happen relatively quickly, or further down the road into an actual relationship, I'm sure you've seen this sort of thing happen before with guys you've dated)). There's a Chinese fictional character called 独孤求败, which means something like "the lonely one begging to be defeated" because he is apparently so much better than everyone that he is very lonely (someone called me this in China when I kept beating everyone at pool). So among everything else, this is a position that you are in that's unique to extremely beautiful girls (and something that is not politically correct to talk about, and something that for obvious reasons you probably couldn't talk about to anyone, or maybe even admit to yourself, but it's definitely a factor) (by the way this is more a comment on the other video with the same guy, which I also watched (insomnia...))
V interesting
And by beating, I’m thinking you are talking about making the other person’s defeat mesmerizing, or in a puzzled way. Kind of like a mental strain. Correct me if I’m wrong, I completely agree with your aspect tho, since this resonates to some people.
World is full of beautiful women and often they are in relationship. I don't know where you get 99,9%. She is pretty but I doubt she belongs there. Beauty means different things for different people. You can't really measure beauty. It depends on who you ask.There are handsome men, too. There are so many more important things than looks. I am sure Lana find someone if she wants to, like so many other beautiful women. And I don't think looks is the most important thing in the guy for her.
The collaboration we didn't know we needed.
Wait, the girl I have a crush on texted me right at this part in the video 4:57 completely out of the blue... insane!
i like this! Its so real...! Thank You Lana and Luke
Lana you are cute
Don't date or get married. No relationships.
Christopher Obando pursuing women is a waste of time in America, you have to go thru 1000 approaches just so 1 girl says yes and it ends up not being worth it.
@@DavidZee888 right on bro
Yeah I learned the hard way
So masturbate all the time?
2 brilliant people
... you're other video contradicts this one ... about not being judgmental ... yet analyse dating as a male problem ... time to wake up
9:38 kid is dying/being kidnapped - 0 fucks given 😂
thanks
In other words, guys, put yourself first or you won't get respected. No respect no attraction. Has nothing to do with love.
In this comment section we have well defined one of the main problems around "dating" today. And that problem is the ease and zeal with which men go through life giving praising attention to any woman for any reason. It's enough for a woman to make public her image through a picture or a video on RUclips (a woman they don't know or have zero hope of knowing) so that a drooling mob immediately congregates covering her with flattery and slobbering, saying how beautiful she is, how perfect she is, how wonderful, how intelligent, and how much they (the members of the mob) would like to marry her and bring the breakfast to bed for her, barking and shaking their tail. As long as women feel they have such overwhelming dominance over men through their sexual desires, as long as men continue to offer themselves as disposable jumble sale merchandise and make such pathetic publicity of themselves (you're perfect, we're vermin, marry us!), trying to "date" them will not only be difficult, but they'll make it impossible and totally disappointing. Their permanent heat state does not bring them one step closer to the validation of women (which some seem to need as urgently for living as the rest of us need oxygen), but it's only worsening and deepening the existing sexual market imbalance between men and women. Offering yourself as a cheap and disposable product does not encourage anyone to "buy" you. Only to be used for free with your own complicity.
I agree with your point, but the problem is ''I'm the exact opposite of how these guys interact with women and I've never had a GF in my life and never have even kissed with one. I'm 23 now and I've learned that you dammed if you do, you dammed if you don't.
@@Hybrid_Technique Effectively, it's a no-win situation. But it's not about you, it's the same for all men. As I said in countless comments, it operates as a structural imbalance of the sexual market: women live surrounded by free male attention and have an unlimited selection power without lifting a finger, while any man has to invest a huge amount of time and effort only trying to be selected by a single woman, and any woman he approaches already has a constellation of orbiters around her before he arrives. That is the situation and nothing can be done to change it. But what is absurd for men is to get trapped in the vicious circle in which sexual dynamics work in our day. And they have to understand that women don't see / live relationships like them. That for them (men), each atom of female attention is only achieved at the cost of weeks or months of effort, but that for them (women) the situation is very different, and they live constantly jaded, saturated with attention without doing anything, just for being alive. And that under these conditions, paying more attention to women is like trying to keep fattening a chicken that has already died of indigestion. You will get nothing out of that situation, but disappointment. Free and desperate attention only manages to turn women into more closed, more conceited, more selfish and more selective creatures. And men today ooze despair and disposability for every pore of their skin. It's time for them to learn that attention is something to be managed with intelligence, not wasted before any living woman who has no intention of corresponding. We must begin to use the power of indifference, that is, the power to limit the others' perceived power over us.