She stupid for staying with him. His ex-girlfriend comes before her and she needs to realize that and she will figure that out once they're married and find she finds out he's sleeping with her still.
Postpone!? WTF, Hell no to the ex girlfriend In the wedding party. You asked him to choose? Honey he didn’t choose you he circled back with an ultimatum. Why are still with him. Is the therapist also his ex
Except he did choose OP, Liz is basically his sister and OP has known about her the entire relationship. Either you trust your spouse or you have no spouse
@@sobeitone3336 They have known each other their entire lives, she will be in his life and not only does OP know this she was told all of this 4 years ago along with their past. Either you trust your spouse or you don't have a spouse
I mean, that’s great and all but OP made a brilliant point; the guy wants Lizz to be there in the big moments of “his life”(You might not have meant it that way, but I caught it, OP.) That means it’s not just a wedding party, but also the birth of his children (if any) and their kids’ biggest moments. What if he needed to go to the hospital; who would he call first? His emergency contact? High chance I’m being an anxious idiot on all this but I’m not getting good vibes from him being so persistent on Lizz being in his life so much nor do I like the fact that he (stubbornly) ran away instead of asking OP why she feels the way she does.
I wonder how the rest of the family and friends think about this issue. It is a big deal for wanting your ex to be there as part of the major role. But he’s marrying you and should move on from this attachment.
That's the problem. You and OP see her as his ex he sees her as his best friend since childhood. And that is the problem. Men naturally compartmentalize and once moved from one box to another that is where you stay and are thought of until something moves you to a new box. So in his mind (as long as he has really moved on from her romantically) she is just his best friend since childhood and he only thinks about and have feelings for her related to that and nothing else. To him their past in a romantic sense only exists in a factual sense (yes it happened) and nothing else (no different then 2+2=4. It is true but that is all). Unlike women when a man has truly falling moved on from something it is boxed off and diesnt affect current things. And in meny ways all but actually forgotten. We don't think about it or dwell on it or have it cloud current things.
@@Duke00xhow do we know he has moved on from her? I'm pretty sure women also don't dwell on past relationships. Only the ones that were abusive. Trauma affects everyone.
Stop saying “bff” & start referring to her as his “ex-fiancé”. What person in their right mind should be ok with their partner choosing their ex-fiancé over them on their wedding day & other possible events in the future? He has shown how he reacts when it comes down to compromise & given OP a glimpse of what their marriage might be like. I don’t like to recommend throwing away a relationship, but therapy won’t fix what he doesn’t want to change. Run Girl & stop wasting your time on someone that wants to be with someone else.
Yeah. My issue is when both of these people are with Liz, op feels ignored. If this feeling won't change, it will cause fights and break them up eventually. If this happens at the wedding, it will be very humiliating. To everyone involved.
NTA, its not like you are being unreasonable, you cant help how you feel and it make you uncomfortable. He should be able to respect that, and the fact he wasnt acting like you had ANY input in it was alarming since its about both you yall, not just him, but I dont think he’s necessary an asshole, more like an idiot who needs to learn how to communicate and discuss
I don't understand how is a wedding guest.. just a friend more important than his lover, to be wife and their wedding? She wasn't his friend.. but love at one point in life.. isn't it given his current partner wouldn't want an ex in that close proximity?
I think she is being a unreasonable partner because saying his child hood best friend can't attend his wedding is crazy in my opinion I say she should just let his child hood best friend attend also look at it from his best friends perspective she can't attend her best friends wedding because it is just such a big moment for someone I would be really mad if I couldn't go to my best friends wedding because of his partner .
@user-np7yx9is6q she never said the ex couldn't attend. All she said was that she couldn't be in his bridal party meaning not be a grooms(wo)men or his best (wo)man. The ex was welcome at the wedding and even allowed in the family pictures. Also its not just a childhood best friend but someone he used to be intimate with and engaged to so literally his ex
The guy needs to get rid of the OP's crazy azz. If she started with this nonsense before the wedding... Imagine the Karen she'll become in a few years 😂😂😂😂.
Honestly, I feel bad for the husband. He has known that girl since he was a BABY, she has known him for at most five years. Is my partner, even if we were about to get married, Said I had to choose between them and my childhood best friend I would spit in their face, no joke. I'd make sure I have every disease known to man before I spit in their face as well lmao. That guy needs to RUN, and run quickly. 😭
I am little on the fence because she didn't ask to cut her out of his life hell she even was ok with her sitting with the family and being with them on the pictures they were gonna take. And yeah she is a best friend , but she was also his fiance and his romantic partner for many years. Would you be completely fine when while at the altar to marry your partner behind him stands his former fiancée with whom the break up reason was just that the wedding would happen for the wrong reason? I can see both sides in this
Petty point: why is he stacking your wedding party with his picks (sister)? Seems wrong unless you can put an inside man on his. Bigger point: He and BFF are exactly that but they have a confused history with romance, sex, etc in there. So maybe they are genuinely friendly, but when one of them has a difficult moment in life, that closeness is likely to cross lines and turn into something less brotherly and more sexual. I don't necessarily mean emotionally charged but who knows. This is a relationship I wouldn't trust. Another point: this took me a long time to realize in my life, but if your SO uses a strategy during disagreements you don't appreciate, use it. Mine will sometimes just shut me down. I finally started doing it to him. He doesn't accept that. I point it out that it's his own tactic and now I'm invoking it. Too damn bad. Your SO makes out you are unreasonable (meaning an emotional harpie) and leaves to sleep in some unknown place. Next round, you make him to be a meathead masculine chest thumper and go to Banff.
Both parties need to think about if getting married is really okay. Op shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable on HER wedding day because her “fiance” wanted his ex-fiance/ best friend there in his wedding party for her to see. Can you imagine how they would act at the reception cause now it seems like they act like they are dating even though they aren’t. For the people saying. “If you can’t trust your spouse you have no spouse” what if it was her wanting her ex-fiance in her wedding party? She wasn’t even upset about it tbh she was upset because he wasn’t willing to compromise for anything….
If an ultimatum has to be given, then you already know what the answer was. Even if you get him to not have her as a groomswoman, she is still very involved in your lives. If your partner being besties with their ex is something you're not comfortable with, you should have told him that right when the relationship was getting serious. If he told you to back off and mind your business, then that would tell you where you place on the scale of importance of people in his life. The karma would be that he'd get with another woman, she'd be okay with his ex being his bestie, but she'd ALSO have her ex as a best friend, and HE starts to not be comfortable 😂
yeah, I feel like everyone is so worked up on nothing. She is left out and jealous and he needs to include her more/pay more attention to her. They both have issues the have to work out before marriage (plus on some communication issues). I don’t think it’s a matter of cheating because of how things ended in the engagement with the ex. Anyways, theres still too little details so maybe Im wrong.
Both are the ah for different reasons, walking away in a fight is ok people need time to process but he should just be happy that his EX FIANCE is even allowed to be there.
I’d be putting it on hold till he stops the “ my way or the highway attitude.” I think he plans to be the boss in the marriage. Are you okay with that. Quit your job and depend on him so you have no career if things go wrong?
I’m sorry OP needs to grow up. We are now in an age where friends with benefits are now part of our regular lives and some of them are our close friends so grow up and get over it.
I like how she was fine with Lizz as a bff/basically a family to bf but now that he wants her in the wedding she's looking at her as "the ex". Girl your issues gonna run that man down to the bone
But she wasn't fine with it. In the first video she said she sometimes feels left out because they have inside jokes (normsl for people that have known eachother as long as they have). So while she claims to be OK with them being BFF's she in fact has jealousy and insecurity over it. And it came to a head over this. Yet she is unwilling to admit. And until she does their relationship is doomed baring any other issuse their may be on top of that.
I think that he should allowed to have his best friend there even if they dated once. However he had a whole bunch of other red flags so I think they were both in the wrong for certain reasons
I can completely understand they were making sexualized jokes, but the wife is literally just jealous that he kept a friend from when before they were married basically. If I was getting married and my husband or wife was like "don't bring your childhood bestie or we ain't getting married!!" I wouldn't get married :) It sucks that when people get into a relationship, they can't keep being friends with people they used to date or be romanticly interested in, it sucks, it really does. And the only reason they can't still be friends with that friend is because "you had intercourse x amount of years ago!!" Or "you were dating back in high school!" Okay? When I was younger I would say goodbye to my best friend with a kiss on their cheek, I don't do that anymore. And the wife didn't even know the two before, she has no clue how intimate or romantic they were. She also mentions that they called it off because they were getting married for the wrong reasons, not because they fell out of love. Since they were marrying for the wrong reasons, it could mean that not much love was even involved in those it relationship. Honestly, this just screams basic women jealousy :/
Well op is in the wrong for the soul purpose that if she’s not comfortable with there relationship she should’ve said so from the start instead of just the wedding make a choice BEFORE you get married you or her
Ngl. Kind of ta BC they don't love each other and almost married bc they're familys love each other but at the same time, weddings are more abt the bride and it IS not all abt what he wants, if he can't sacrifice what you would sacrifice then he needs to change, plus, if he simply explains to liz that you don't want her there bc they were dating and stuff and your uncomfortable with it then bc of how she is portrayed then she would probably be sad but understanding, so it's 60/40. For him being 60 ta and U being 40 ta BC it's not really only him
She didn't even say the ex couldn't come. Just that she didn't want her to be part of the wedding party. That is so reasonable. OP is 0% the AH here, her request was totally valid.
@@Chronic41745 not ex they are just childhood friends personally as a women I see no issue with the women attending the wedding party, and if I was in the same situation I would allow it
@@Weird_Kid135you may have missed previous parts. They are not only exes, he used to be engaged to her and they were together for 8 years. Now he wants her not just to attend the wedding but to be part of the wedding party.
@@benry007 The exes agreed to mutually not marry and OP knows the reason is because they genuinely don't want to be together. That they were "marrying for the wrong reasons." Nothing in the ex's character suggests homewrecker energy so cutting her out of the wedding party doesn't make sense. It's either OP thinks her fiance will cheat or the Ex will rape him. Why marry that man if this is her concern with so far 0 evidence? From what I've heard none of what was said speaks ill of either party character. OP is just jealous that they knew each other intimately. Like with 4 parts to this story I NEEDED to see either homewrecker behavior or cheating behavior and I didn't. OP is in fact being unreasonable. Do not always blindly follow your friends, partner, and spouse's concerns.
The exes agreed to mutually not marry and OP knows the reason is because they genuinely don't want to be together. That they were "marrying for the wrong reasons." Nothing in the ex's character suggests homewrecker energy so cutting her out of the wedding party doesn't make sense. It's either OP thinks her fiance will cheat or the Ex will rape him. Why marry that man if this is her concern with so far 0 evidence? From what I've heard none of what was said speaks ill of either party character. OP is just jealous that they knew each other intimately. Like with 4 parts to this story I NEEDED to see either homewrecker behavior or cheating behavior and I didn't. OP is in fact being unreasonable. Do not always blindly follow your friends, partner, and spouse's concerns.
Honestly if my partner said so and so shouldn't join the wedding party because they might try something or that I might cheat I'd have to cancel or postpone like they did. If it's cuz she might try something...maam I know her better than you do so what DO you know that I don't??? If it's cuz spouse thinks I'll cheat...we're through. We bout to get married and you'd I'd sling my meat at ANYONE else without your permission tells me you don't trust me at all. Those threats she is perceiving need to be proven. Hell I don't even need receipts. Like if she told me my ex did or said something to her or bothered her the ex would've been confronted. The only perspective I CAN see is "whenever it's the three of us I feel left out so I just wanted this one thing to be just us." What's dumb about that is they have SEPARATE wedding parties. So the fiances wont even see each other that night. It is not like best friend is gonna walk down the aisle in a wedding dress too. She is not the one I'll be taking to the honey moon. She is not the one living in our house. She is not the one I'm gonna go on date nights with. She is not the one I'm gonna build wealth with. She is not the one I'm gonna build a family with.(Knowing OP the best friend will NEVER babysit with this mindset). OP seems to just be jealous and I CAN walk away from blatant jealousy. Point blank period. If this wasn't best friend I would not give af. There were so many men that had a problem with me being around my best friend and yet never said a word to me. Turns out they were both jealous and racist and me and bestfriend never cross each other's boundaries when partnered. Our DMs were dry outside of weeb ish and what they were doing to him after the relationship ended. I didn't have a low opinion of them during the relationship but I also did not give them the kind of "access" they thought they could get from me and then tack on that I had my own suspicions of bias only to later find out that they were jealous bigots. I know I'm ranting. To sum it up. I will never exclude my best friend from my wedding party or wedding unless they ARE the problem and in this story the ex was not.
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I believe that both parties should separate
She stupid for staying with him. His ex-girlfriend comes before her and she needs to realize that and she will figure that out once they're married and find she finds out he's sleeping with her still.
Deciding to postpone and fix things is good
Postpone!? WTF, Hell no to the ex girlfriend In the wedding party. You asked him to choose? Honey he didn’t choose you he circled back with an ultimatum. Why are still with him. Is the therapist also his ex
Not just ex girlfriend, ex fiance. I don't think I would want her at the wedding, never mind having a major role in the ceremony.
Except he did choose OP, Liz is basically his sister and OP has known about her the entire relationship.
Either you trust your spouse or you have no spouse
@@daveo1808 stop it no one gets engaged to their “like sister” that sounds like real BS
@@sobeitone3336 They have known each other their entire lives, she will be in his life and not only does OP know this she was told all of this 4 years ago along with their past.
Either you trust your spouse or you don't have a spouse
@@daveo1808 sister that was in a relationship with and engaged? Gross
I mean, that’s great and all but OP made a brilliant point; the guy wants Lizz to be there in the big moments of “his life”(You might not have meant it that way, but I caught it, OP.) That means it’s not just a wedding party, but also the birth of his children (if any) and their kids’ biggest moments. What if he needed to go to the hospital; who would he call first? His emergency contact? High chance I’m being an anxious idiot on all this but I’m not getting good vibes from him being so persistent on Lizz being in his life so much nor do I like the fact that he (stubbornly) ran away instead of asking OP why she feels the way she does.
I wonder how the rest of the family and friends think about this issue. It is a big deal for wanting your ex to be there as part of the major role. But he’s marrying you and should move on from this attachment.
That's the problem. You and OP see her as his ex he sees her as his best friend since childhood. And that is the problem. Men naturally compartmentalize and once moved from one box to another that is where you stay and are thought of until something moves you to a new box. So in his mind (as long as he has really moved on from her romantically) she is just his best friend since childhood and he only thinks about and have feelings for her related to that and nothing else. To him their past in a romantic sense only exists in a factual sense (yes it happened) and nothing else (no different then 2+2=4. It is true but that is all). Unlike women when a man has truly falling moved on from something it is boxed off and diesnt affect current things. And in meny ways all but actually forgotten. We don't think about it or dwell on it or have it cloud current things.
@@Duke00xhow do we know he has moved on from her? I'm pretty sure women also don't dwell on past relationships. Only the ones that were abusive. Trauma affects everyone.
Run girl run, he's into his ex
This OP is a dormant
Stop saying “bff” & start referring to her as his “ex-fiancé”. What person in their right mind should be ok with their partner choosing their ex-fiancé over them on their wedding day & other possible events in the future?
He has shown how he reacts when it comes down to compromise & given OP a glimpse of what their marriage might be like. I don’t like to recommend throwing away a relationship, but therapy won’t fix what he doesn’t want to change. Run Girl & stop wasting your time on someone that wants to be with someone else.
Don't marry you will just pressure the divorce system
Yeah. My issue is when both of these people are with Liz, op feels ignored. If this feeling won't change, it will cause fights and break them up eventually. If this happens at the wedding, it will be very humiliating. To everyone involved.
He is still sleeping with the ex behind your back. He wants his ex back
Lose the loser, he didn’t choose you.
Girl..leave him 😂 his still into her.
Delaying the inevitable!!
That relationship is doomed.
DON'T get married to this guy.
Smart move 👍
he’s so clearly not over her
NTA, its not like you are being unreasonable, you cant help how you feel and it make you uncomfortable. He should be able to respect that, and the fact he wasnt acting like you had ANY input in it was alarming since its about both you yall, not just him, but I dont think he’s necessary an asshole, more like an idiot who needs to learn how to communicate and discuss
I don't understand how is a wedding guest.. just a friend more important than his lover, to be wife and their wedding? She wasn't his friend.. but love at one point in life.. isn't it given his current partner wouldn't want an ex in that close proximity?
I think she is being a unreasonable partner because saying his child hood best friend can't attend his wedding is crazy in my opinion I say she should just let his child hood best friend attend also look at it from his best friends perspective she can't attend her best friends wedding because it is just such a big moment for someone I would be really mad if I couldn't go to my best friends wedding because of his partner .
@user-np7yx9is6q she never said the ex couldn't attend. All she said was that she couldn't be in his bridal party meaning not be a grooms(wo)men or his best (wo)man. The ex was welcome at the wedding and even allowed in the family pictures.
Also its not just a childhood best friend but someone he used to be intimate with and engaged to so literally his ex
@@user-np7yx9is6q liz wasn't just a bff, she was in a relationship with the groom for 8 years and was a fiance at some point.
So OP has a point
He's unwilling to compromise
Run
The guy needs to get rid of the OP's crazy azz. If she started with this nonsense before the wedding... Imagine the Karen she'll become in a few years 😂😂😂😂.
Honestly, I feel bad for the husband. He has known that girl since he was a BABY, she has known him for at most five years. Is my partner, even if we were about to get married, Said I had to choose between them and my childhood best friend I would spit in their face, no joke.
I'd make sure I have every disease known to man before I spit in their face as well lmao.
That guy needs to RUN, and run quickly. 😭
THIS WAS MY EXACT POINT!!! Liz isn’t the “ex”, she’s his best friend.
I am little on the fence because she didn't ask to cut her out of his life hell she even was ok with her sitting with the family and being with them on the pictures they were gonna take. And yeah she is a best friend , but she was also his fiance and his romantic partner for many years. Would you be completely fine when while at the altar to marry your partner behind him stands his former fiancée with whom the break up reason was just that the wedding would happen for the wrong reason? I can see both sides in this
The relationship was over as soon as he said it was more important for his gf to be at the wedding than the fucking bride
Nope. Postponing the wedding? They’re just postponing their divorce.
good decision!
Petty point: why is he stacking your wedding party with his picks (sister)? Seems wrong unless you can put an inside man on his.
Bigger point: He and BFF are exactly that but they have a confused history with romance, sex, etc in there. So maybe they are genuinely friendly, but when one of them has a difficult moment in life, that closeness is likely to cross lines and turn into something less brotherly and more sexual. I don't necessarily mean emotionally charged but who knows. This is a relationship I wouldn't trust.
Another point: this took me a long time to realize in my life, but if your SO uses a strategy during disagreements you don't appreciate, use it. Mine will sometimes just shut me down. I finally started doing it to him. He doesn't accept that. I point it out that it's his own tactic and now I'm invoking it. Too damn bad. Your SO makes out you are unreasonable (meaning an emotional harpie) and leaves to sleep in some unknown place. Next round, you make him to be a meathead masculine chest thumper and go to Banff.
Both parties need to think about if getting married is really okay. Op shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable on HER wedding day because her “fiance” wanted his ex-fiance/ best friend there in his wedding party for her to see. Can you imagine how they would act at the reception cause now it seems like they act like they are dating even though they aren’t. For the people saying. “If you can’t trust your spouse you have no spouse” what if it was her wanting her ex-fiance in her wedding party? She wasn’t even upset about it tbh she was upset because he wasn’t willing to compromise for anything….
She is not just a bf but his ex fiancé. If he can’t see how fk up that is, then invite one of your ex to be in your wedding party
If an ultimatum has to be given, then you already know what the answer was.
Even if you get him to not have her as a groomswoman, she is still very involved in your lives. If your partner being besties with their ex is something you're not comfortable with, you should have told him that right when the relationship was getting serious. If he told you to back off and mind your business, then that would tell you where you place on the scale of importance of people in his life.
The karma would be that he'd get with another woman, she'd be okay with his ex being his bestie, but she'd ALSO have her ex as a best friend, and HE starts to not be comfortable 😂
yeah, I feel like everyone is so worked up on nothing. She is left out and jealous and he needs to include her more/pay more attention to her. They both have issues the have to work out before marriage (plus on some communication issues). I don’t think it’s a matter of cheating because of how things ended in the engagement with the ex. Anyways, theres still too little details so maybe Im wrong.
Both are the ah for different reasons, walking away in a fight is ok people need time to process but he should just be happy that his EX FIANCE is even allowed to be there.
I’d be putting it on hold till he stops the “ my way or the highway attitude.” I think he plans to be the boss in the marriage. Are you okay with that. Quit your job and depend on him so you have no career if things go wrong?
Yeah no. There's no future in this. Don't marry him. He cheats
I’m sorry OP needs to grow up. We are now in an age where friends with benefits are now part of our regular lives and some of them are our close friends so grow up and get over it.
I like how she was fine with Lizz as a bff/basically a family to bf but now that he wants her in the wedding she's looking at her as "the ex". Girl your issues gonna run that man down to the bone
But she wasn't fine with it. In the first video she said she sometimes feels left out because they have inside jokes (normsl for people that have known eachother as long as they have). So while she claims to be OK with them being BFF's she in fact has jealousy and insecurity over it. And it came to a head over this. Yet she is unwilling to admit. And until she does their relationship is doomed baring any other issuse their may be on top of that.
Hes still in love with his ex. Wale up and get out now.
Is there an update or something
Holy heck. OP is a giant red flag.
I think that he should allowed to have his best friend there even if they dated once. However he had a whole bunch of other red flags so I think they were both in the wrong for certain reasons
I can completely understand they were making sexualized jokes, but the wife is literally just jealous that he kept a friend from when before they were married basically. If I was getting married and my husband or wife was like "don't bring your childhood bestie or we ain't getting married!!" I wouldn't get married :)
It sucks that when people get into a relationship, they can't keep being friends with people they used to date or be romanticly interested in, it sucks, it really does. And the only reason they can't still be friends with that friend is because "you had intercourse x amount of years ago!!" Or "you were dating back in high school!" Okay? When I was younger I would say goodbye to my best friend with a kiss on their cheek, I don't do that anymore.
And the wife didn't even know the two before, she has no clue how intimate or romantic they were. She also mentions that they called it off because they were getting married for the wrong reasons, not because they fell out of love. Since they were marrying for the wrong reasons, it could mean that not much love was even involved in those it relationship.
Honestly, this just screams basic women jealousy :/
Well op is in the wrong for the soul purpose that if she’s not comfortable with there relationship she should’ve said so from the start instead of just the wedding make a choice BEFORE you get married you or her
You shouldn’t marry him
Ngl. Kind of ta BC they don't love each other and
almost married bc they're familys love each other but at the same time, weddings are more abt the bride and it IS not all abt what he wants, if he can't sacrifice what you would sacrifice then he needs to change, plus, if he simply explains to liz that you don't want her there bc they were dating and stuff and your uncomfortable with it then bc of how she is portrayed then she would probably be sad but understanding, so it's 60/40. For him being 60 ta and U being 40 ta BC it's not really only him
Weddings should equally be for each person
She didn't even say the ex couldn't come. Just that she didn't want her to be part of the wedding party. That is so reasonable. OP is 0% the AH here, her request was totally valid.
I think u are in the wrong I said why in part 2
Yta
How is OP the Ah when her fiancé clearly can not get over his ex
@@Chronic41745 not ex they are just childhood friends personally as a women I see no issue with the women attending the wedding party, and if I was in the same situation I would allow it
@@Weird_Kid135you may have missed previous parts. They are not only exes, he used to be engaged to her and they were together for 8 years. Now he wants her not just to attend the wedding but to be part of the wedding party.
@@benry007 I watched every part but I still stand by what I said
@@benry007 The exes agreed to mutually not marry and OP knows the reason is because they genuinely don't want to be together. That they were "marrying for the wrong reasons."
Nothing in the ex's character suggests homewrecker energy so cutting her out of the wedding party doesn't make sense.
It's either OP thinks her fiance will cheat or the Ex will rape him. Why marry that man if this is her concern with so far 0 evidence?
From what I've heard none of what was said speaks ill of either party character. OP is just jealous that they knew each other intimately.
Like with 4 parts to this story I NEEDED to see either homewrecker behavior or cheating behavior and I didn't. OP is in fact being unreasonable. Do not always blindly follow your friends, partner, and spouse's concerns.
You r the ah
The exes agreed to mutually not marry and OP knows the reason is because they genuinely don't want to be together. That they were "marrying for the wrong reasons."
Nothing in the ex's character suggests homewrecker energy so cutting her out of the wedding party doesn't make sense.
It's either OP thinks her fiance will cheat or the Ex will rape him. Why marry that man if this is her concern with so far 0 evidence?
From what I've heard none of what was said speaks ill of either party character. OP is just jealous that they knew each other intimately.
Like with 4 parts to this story I NEEDED to see either homewrecker behavior or cheating behavior and I didn't. OP is in fact being unreasonable. Do not always blindly follow your friends, partner, and spouse's concerns.
Honestly if my partner said so and so shouldn't join the wedding party because they might try something or that I might cheat I'd have to cancel or postpone like they did.
If it's cuz she might try something...maam I know her better than you do so what DO you know that I don't???
If it's cuz spouse thinks I'll cheat...we're through. We bout to get married and you'd I'd sling my meat at ANYONE else without your permission tells me you don't trust me at all.
Those threats she is perceiving need to be proven. Hell I don't even need receipts. Like if she told me my ex did or said something to her or bothered her the ex would've been confronted.
The only perspective I CAN see is "whenever it's the three of us I feel left out so I just wanted this one thing to be just us."
What's dumb about that is they have SEPARATE wedding parties. So the fiances wont even see each other that night. It is not like best friend is gonna walk down the aisle in a wedding dress too. She is not the one I'll be taking to the honey moon. She is not the one living in our house. She is not the one I'm gonna go on date nights with. She is not the one I'm gonna build wealth with. She is not the one I'm gonna build a family with.(Knowing OP the best friend will NEVER babysit with this mindset).
OP seems to just be jealous and I CAN walk away from blatant jealousy. Point blank period.
If this wasn't best friend I would not give af. There were so many men that had a problem with me being around my best friend and yet never said a word to me. Turns out they were both jealous and racist and me and bestfriend never cross each other's boundaries when partnered. Our DMs were dry outside of weeb ish and what they were doing to him after the relationship ended.
I didn't have a low opinion of them during the relationship but I also did not give them the kind of "access" they thought they could get from me and then tack on that I had my own suspicions of bias only to later find out that they were jealous bigots.
I know I'm ranting. To sum it up. I will never exclude my best friend from my wedding party or wedding unless they ARE the problem and in this story the ex was not.
So yall don't have to read the essays: "Str8 issue."