My son forgets habits. I have watched it happen. He will have completely lost the habit from one day to the next. He's 26. Late diagnosed ADHD. He checked off so many of the internal ADHD symptoms as a child. But they weren't talked about when he was young. And he wasn't externally hyperactive. So I had no idea.
@@jadadallas5891 this is such an important thing you bring up!! There are different types of ADHD, inattentive type doesn’t manifest as hyperactive so it’s easy to miss in a lot of people who’re still massively struggling day to day!
Hello from Sweden!🇸🇪 I was 55 when I was Diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive, or type 2) People having type 2 are not hyperactive on the outside but way more on the inside.. I really struggle to quiet my mind whenfor example, going to bed and My energy is very low all day long ( if I do something "boring", on the other hand I have loads of energy when it comes to do something that I am very passionate about....) I still forget thing from one day to another or even after 10 min if someone interrupts me😉😄 I am not perfect but I do as good as I can and that is enough..💖🤗
@remiclog Yes this! Struggled me entire life with what I was told was childhood trauma induced anxiety and depression. A "sensitive" child who felt everything. Very low, lethargic with short bouts of increased energy which could be brought on by the most simple/strangest of things. I thought I had ocd as just really perfectionist and everything is all or nothing. Fast forward to the birth of my second child. A birth injury which caused no defects..thank god..to my baby being diagnosed with a childhood cancer at six months. ( unrelated to her birth-neuroblastoma- thankfully without the high risk genetics to it !!) So my daughter is now 3 and really high energy. She is just less introvert to me,my husband and son. I just knew from work on trauma that my issues were not caused by trauma...In comes my doctor who knows my whole life story and realises that all my overwhelm and other symptoms tick all the boxes of adhd. I would never have thought. Now diagnosed with adhd with autistic tendencies. I'm struggling more now knowing to be honest 😢
I was teary eyed when you said you can’t change how the outside world would treat your children, but you can be their comfort.. plus the hugging and the kissing… 🥹 bless your heart! Thank you for uploading this beautiful video ❤
There are those whose insights focus on others behaviors and not their own. True in their lives to those they know, and, as an extension, on social media as well. Knowing this, you can, as you’ve shown, teach others to ignore them and to learn, grow and be an asset to society. ❤
@@rodezadelacruz5606 but Remi can change her world little by little. That will have a snowball effect as she educates us we can educate and be more understanding of others.
Life is so much easier when 80% of our stuff and clothes go out the door. We only use 20% of it anyway, Neurodivergent or not. ❤ It took me over 50 years to realise this.
That's exactly what I was thinking while watching this video. I'm absolutely not picking on Remi, but watching her sort the amount of stuff reminded me that my issues with keeping my house tidy boil down to us (my husband and I) have far too much stuff. That's where I'm going to spend my energy. 😊
I am 39 and just doing major days of getting rid/donating stuff! I am finally realize why my Mom has a “simplify” sign up! Less is really more- for organizing, for our brains to function optimally in a space and all. These videos that Remi makes help, as well as the comments.
Anyone thinking of leaving a nasty comment just remember this woman and her children and her house affect you in NO WAY, you DO NOT HAVE TO WATCH, and she is not asking for your criticism. Please extend grace and kindness or peace out ✌🏻
I'm a 48 yr old mom of 3 boys. They are all grown and out of the house now. I wish I had you back when I was struggling with all this. I just adore listening to you
So glad to see Part 3, Remi! Your gorgeous accent. Just sat down after my chores, and then, OH! It's Remi! Yay. 🎉 and went to get my huge pile of laundry to fold as I spent time with you.🧡🤍🤎
I roll my eyes at the if you make your kids do chores everyday and keep your house clean then your kids will grow up to do the same. There are 5 of us in total between my siblings and I and my mom kept a pristine home and we had a pretty substantial list of chores to do everyday and she made sure we each knew how to clean every single aspect of the home and each and every one of us have different levels of cleanliness in our own homes. From one of my brothers being a complete tornado and not caring at all to keep his space clean to being obsessively clean and tidy. And we all grew up with the same expectations and meticulous level of cleanliness expected. So yeah it's great to make sure children know how to do household duties but it doesn't really guarantee anything in my opinion.
Haha! So true. Oldest of 11. Together, my siblings and I are and amazing work force: working together towards a common goal is something we can do like a well oiled machine. Now 10 years into making my own home and raising my 4 kids: it's still not easy! I know how to do it, I even know how to train my kids to do it, but It is still a lot of effort to DO it. And consistency is hard, especially with a growing, ever changing family...
In case you might like some tips that helped me: - Ditch the marker /pen trays and use a clear bin instead. It's faster when putting them away and lets you see inside without dumping everything. User friendly storage and access made a world of difference for me. It has to be easy. - In my kids room, I had one spot as sorting station where things could go until they were put away. Folded laundry, books, etc., got place in piles, but the deal was everyone had to spend five minutes (or 10 or whatever) or put away five things (10...) each morning and /or each night. I would wander the room gathering things off the floor, sorting as I went, and cheered them on as we all put things away. - Having all the costumes in one bag guarantees that if anyone wants to play dress-up, the bag will be emptied and left on the floor. Wall hooks for fewer costumes that can be seen might save some mess. - Same with the teddies, if you can't find the one you want, you're going to dump them all. What about a teddy hammock in the corner? - The cars in the hamper would be easier on an open shelf, without necessarily taking up lots more space. No dumping everything out to find the one you want. - Again for books stacked in a drawer or squashed into cupboards. - Instead of books leaning on a dresser that fall over when a few are removed, I really like cubby shelves (like the Ikea Kalax) for kids books and things. - I also make lists for each member of the family each day - and it includes things like tooth brushing, which have to be checked off when they are done. - The other thing I notice with my adult daughter is that screen time is her absolute undoing for getting things done and being able to focus. Screens and technology were not a regular part of her childhood and for her the problem got much worse now that she uses them everyday. - Instead of a box of toys inside a drawer, I would put the toys in the drawer and toss the box. - Staging the kids toys like the cute little figures stuck with stick-tack is lovely, but not practical for play or for clean up. - For me, I had to skip all the extras like Easter decorations and Hallowe'en parties, etc., and stick to Christmas and birthdays only. For the rest we might do something fun, but it couldn't be a big project that put me behind again. - I always try to prioritize the chores that will get worse if left undone. Laundry and dishes, for instance, will take longer to do if they pile up. Vacuuming or scrubbing, however, take about the same amount of time no matter how bad it gets. Regarding kids sleeping alone. I had a family bed and nursed my kids beyond the average length of time. My first didn't sleep through the night until she was five and a half. My second was the complete opposite. When #1 moved into her own bed, I put #2 in with her so she wasn't alone. It worked beautifully. Toddler slept through and the big sister was comforted by her presence. There is a HUGE gap between children understanding the expectations and being capable, and them being ABLE to reliably take responsibility. The first, they can learn quite young. The second can take decades. My mom had PTSD from childhood trauma and NEEDED the house to be nearly perfect at all times. Despite that, my room was always a disaster, and I could not stay on top of my chores. I tried very hard with my kids to be tidy and to teach those habits, but it was hard. The mess was stressful and the days were busy. As adults, one is tidy and the other is messy but anxious about it. Same house, same parents, different kids. I wonder if there are any strategies to avoid burn out and avoid getting behind in chores at the same time. Hiring some help - house keeper, mother's helper, babysitter? Doing a work bee with a friend? Having a monthly sleepover for the kids with a family member? Tips from a life coach to help with accountability and brainstorming? It is SO hard to be a woman /parent /working mom! And even if you put yourself out there on social media, no one has the right to judge you. Being messy is not a moral failing. It may be frustrating, disappointing, uncomfortable, anxiety inducing, overwhelming or inconvenient, but it's nobody else's business. You are a good mom and a good human :) Beautiful job with the clean up and with Rudy 💜
I have 3 clear shoebox bins 1. Markers 2. School pencils 3. Crayons A non see thru bin meant everything was dumped out just to find the blue pencil. Lol. So annoying.
I completely agree with you on so many points. Now that I'm 61 I'm changing my priorities again due to ill-health to make keeping myself and the house clean and tidy. It takes quite a mindset shift, but the improvement in my quality of life is so worth it. And it's an ongoing process. 😊
Love your thoughts. I’d also add ‘quality over quantity ‘. (I’d encourage one set of really good pencils that have a precious box in a special Place. Declutter the mass of stuff ( be very careful with items of emotional connection like stuffed toys, creations craft can be carefully stored.
@@bexp436 I'm 60 and, when time and energy permit, have always been purging and organizing. It really is a lifetime of shifting through stages of small kids, older kids, elderly parents, aging self...
Remi I cried listening to you talk about Rudi. What a fantastic mother he has with you by his side. I'm sitting in my 14 year old daughters room giving it a clean while she's out with her friends. I tell my kids every day of their lives how much I love them as I didn't have that growing up. My parents fed and clothed us but I never felt truly loved by my mother. You are AMAZING. You have two very lucky children X😊
Thank you. For sharing your heart and your home. I'm a 40 year old mom to 4 girls, ages 8,6,4 (this month), and 2. I struggle with anxiety. And have become a minimalist in the last couple years to help with that anxiety caused by messes. Maybe not full minimalism, but so much less. I still get behind on my house. And I'm still mentally and emotionally exhausted a lot. Motherhood is the most amazing and draining job I've ever had. And half the time I feel lost, like I'm messing my kids up. I'm not as patient as I should be. I'm not as "fun" as other parents. There are so many people who will tell you the right way to parent..... thank you for saying "they are your kids, you know them best. " I needed to hear that!
i've got a burnout house right now and it's very overwhelming. watching your videos helps remind me that i'm not alone, and i can in fact tidy my own house. so thank you.
Both of my daughters have ADHD, I taught them how to keep things clean several hundred times. They just aren’t able to keep it up. They’re made different. They’re grown now,and do Their best and that’s all anyone can ask,or should ask. As for people telling you what to do as far as giving your kids chores,etc. Tell them what I used to tell people,”Mind your own garden,my flowers grow differently”😊❤
My father was an army drill Sergeant. Our house had to be spotless and be able to eat off the bathroom floor! So like you my house always looks like a tornado went through it. Love your videos!
I have followed you for some time now and I´m so impressed with you being so young and yet so very wise. I´m more than dubble your age and I wish I had been this wise when my child was young. Your children are indeed blessed with you as their mother. Greetings from Sweden.
@@remiclogright guys, what helped me was hearing a dentist say this, don't wait for the right time to brush your teeth, so don't wait to do it after breakfast or after your evening meal because knowing people like us, it won't happen, just do it at random when it pops in your head, so I've just done mine at 4pm cause I thought about it, will I do them before bed, no. But at least I did them today. 😊
I’m literally tearing up hearing you talk about this. I have adhd and I think my oldest son has it too and I have really been struggling with things like this, especially recently. I want to help him, but it’s very hard to do. Hearing you talk about this has really helped me today. Thank you.
This was my house for a few years years ago when my kids were still young. It’s overwhelming but it doesn’t last! I absolutely love her methods and watching her videos! Everything makes sense she says every day! Now I have grown up children with grandchildren! An high functioning ASD one and a daughter with her own needs. Yet I got through it. It’s hard but patience is key and everything said in this video is so true! I just want to tell people out there that as a parent of Neurodivergent children (now grown up) and now also grandchildren, you WILL get through this, you WILL manage! It’s hard work but you will be able to do everything and more! It doesn’t last forever! Things don’t go away when it comes to neurodivergent people, but they become so much more manageable and easier to manage. Myself and so many others are living proof that we can all do this! Following Remi is a fantastic way to get advice and support with it all as everything she’s saying in her videos takes me back to my life over 20yrs ago when the support and understanding wasn’t around like it is now. Remi is a fantastic wife and mum who literally breaks it all down for everyone in such a way to make the overwhelming tasks in life much easier to accomplish. Thank you Remi for being you!
My daughter-in-law deals with the same issues by refusing to have more than her clutter threshold. It’s one of Dana K White’s things. I love your videos. You and Mac are really good at explaining how these things happen. It helps me understand when I do my free cleanings. It helps it all make sense. Love ya ❤ 😘
Thank you for your content. It helped me a year ago and it helped me today. I have a family of ADHD and autism as well. It’s such a blessing to be reminded it’s not just me! Your content reminds me to give myself and my family grace. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 2 years ago. So I have that in addition to my ADHD. I’ve been battling immense self-criticism and shame. Your positive mindset is an inspiration and your cleaning is motivating! Your statement about nature despite doing all the “right things”, relinquishing control, letting go of ideals, and working with their natural disposition was something I desperately needed to hear. You’re a blessing! ❤
i appreciate you being vulnerable with your dental hygiene habits. That is something that I have also been struggling with for a long time and I feel really shameful about it but it feels comforting to know Im not alone.
I'm the same. When we went in to COVID lockdown I was happy not to leave the house and didn't look in a mirror. When we ran out of food I went shopping in the car and noticed a thing on my tooth. I checked it in the mirror and it was brown plaque! I was horrified! After this really started to work on this and I am much better at it now but it certainly doesn't come naturally. (57, AuDhd)
I would take all of those pens out of those cases and have them all in one big box so they are far easier for the kids to put away themselves and if they can't get in to the routine just now, or ever, it'll make it easier for you as well. I struggle to clean my teeth as well. It takes so much effort to motivate myaelf and remember. I do it every night without fail but the first clean of the day is where I trip up. Largely because I have chronic illness with crippling fatigue and throw in autism executive disfunction and it's not as easy for people like us. You are such a bloody incredible mum! I've said it many times! I see it so much in your videos! There is no such thing as perfection and all the skills you do have and all that you give to your boys gives them some skills that a lot of kids of our generation didn't have. You're doing so much good and deserve to be so proud! I'm currently studying my 2nd undergraduate degree, this one is Psychology, because I'm also fascinated by the way brains work! I spotted the "My Body" books in the boys' room and it made me smile because I loved those books growing up!
Being a loving mom is way more important than being a spotless housekeeper, and you are a wonderful mom. Also, your house has limited storage, which makes it even harder to keep things put away. Give yourself the credit you deserve!
I realized cleaning up my kids toys day after day after day was insane, I did a deep purge and got rid of a lot of the toys I KNEW they didn’t play with, they were thrown on the floor to get to 1 toy. It took me awhile to get there. I also struggle with routinely brushing my teeth🥴 I love your videos, thank you for sharing
I think everyone is different and hats off to you for prioritizing your children's childhood above everything else. There will always be chores but they won't always be little ❤
Just talking about my own experience here, when my kids were young because of the toys they had, it was always messy! All I could do was do my best with the mess. Once they get older they have different intrests and there's no messy toys around anymore. Sometimes it's just living that paticular season of life, and before you know it they're not little kids playing with toys anymore. I did the best I could with my house back then, it was never perfect and I had hard days but before you know it they're teenagers. And then it's a different kind of mess! When we try our best thats all we can do. You're an amazing, loving, nuturing mum Remi and that really shines through. Your kids will remember all the good times you had together and that's the most important thing. You put things into words so well, I wish I was that articulate! Thanks for another great video, hope you and yours are all well. 🙂👍
Another fab motivational and honest video, thank you for keeping me going, I have 3 adhd and asd kids and your videos make me feel so less rubbish about my home thank you ❤
*I’m really impressed with how you approached cleaning, focusing on a simple yet effective system. It reduces the overwhelm and makes the cleaning process so much easier.* 💯💯💯❤❤❤
Your depth of care and gift at communicating brings tears to my eyes most videos. I am so glad you are raising your voice and using your platform to bring awareness and understanding to others. Thank you Remi
Another fantastic transformation in the bedrooms. Your knowledge, kindness, compassion, patience and thoughtfulness is admirable. You are a blessing to us all. Thank you. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏💪👍🙏💐🎃👻
Starting therapy next week, thanks to you. In a good way! 😂 Struggled so long to explain what I need help with, until I found you and you explained executive dysfunction. Lifesaver! I don't have ADHD nor ASD, so most therapists assume I am depressed or traumatized. I did have a burnout, and survived cancer, but that was two years ago and I never lost my smile and the capacity to enjoy things. I could also get stuff done if I really had to. 😅 But with every day stuff I just got.. stuck. Hopefully therapy can support me while I build up new routines, develop triggers to get off my ass, rewards to keep it fun, and a goal to work forwards to. Your videos got me started, hopefully therapy gets me the rest of the way! ❤ So thank you, Remi.
Wow you’ve been through so much!!! I’m so excited for you to start your therapy journey! It sounds like you’ve got a brilliant, positive attitude. Sending you all the luck and love in the world ❤️
I literally was crying when you were talking about dental sensory issues and remembering to brush because I have dealt with this shame I felt my whole life(48years). I was diagnosed with adhd in my early 20’s, but it wasn’t like you get this handbook along with it. You have helped me so much to understand why I do or don’t do the things I do. Made me feel more “normal” and that I am far from alone in my struggles and that is so extremely comforting. I will never be able to thank you enough on how you’ve helped me. Ms. Remi you have a great gift and thank you for sharing💛
Admitting responsibility and feeling like you failed is very much a huge step. You will continue to improve! I know because I, too, have had to learn to do the same. You have come so far... remember until you die you are still growing and improving.
I’m so impressed with your son helping you fold the clean washing, that’s so grown up and kind. My son is in his 20s and wouldn’t offer to help me so I’d say you’re doing a great job raising your kids.
Your videos changed the trajectory of my life when I realise my messiness of ‘slobiness’ as my mum has always called it wasn’t me being lazy but a side effect of my adhd, just like my tics. I’ve found that putting in strategies really helped and designing my space to suit my needs has really helped. I got a pax wardrobe from ikea that I designed myself to suit my throwing. I got more storage downstairs with big bins to hidy. It’s a work in progress but it’s getting there. Thanks Remi.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are wise beyond your years. I wish that there would’ve been someone like you that would’ve explained my kids world in this way to me. So I could understand what was happening. And WHY! I think I was probably a parent who did more harm than good when it came to this. And I regret it so much!
@ but i do regret it. I know my daughter especially has suffered because of being made to feel lazy all her life when she wasnt. And our relationship has also suffered because of it. And believe me, I’ve apologized to both of my kids. And I think on some level that apology has helped. But it didn’t undo all those years of us shaming her. And I hate that.
The damage is done, there is no use for regret, as these thoughts only keep you in the past, instead of arriving in the present to heal and repair! Most likely, when you tell your kids today how sorry you are, and get a little emotional, that puts additional pressure on them- they will tell you it wasn’t that bad and override their own feelings again, as most children go very far to keep their parents happy and content. Or they get angry everytime, and that is not the feeling they want to have when they see you. Instead, try to create a loving and inviting environment for them today. Make them feel good around you and want to come and see you. Be a reason for joy! And most important: ask and listen. Don’t make it about you, make it about them. Ask what they need, what you can’t do or help or change to make them more comfortable. Be prepared that the feedback will hurt you, and take your time to respond. Don’t become defensive. This is not easy, but if you want a lasting relationship with your children, this is the only way to give them the safe space they needed as children, and that they can let out all the pain. I had a similar constellation with my parents, and after I says all I had to say (it took some months) I was able to forgive them, as nothing they did to me was meant to hurt me or intentional, but just as you they simply lacked knowledge. From that moment on our relationship had a chance and started growing, and still is many years later. No pills or therapy had such a grave impact to my healing as these talks with my parents had. And you have that chance too- but ask and listen.
I am a mom that always had things neat. My son is ADHD, and we struggled to find a rhythm that kept both of us happy. And I want you to know that I am in awe of you as a mother. You are a rockstar. The encouragement you give them, the ways you give them room to imagine and explore, I only wish I had given my son. We all have our strengths, and I think yours are stellar.
I have inattentive adhd and I’m so impressed by how you manage to tidy up everything like that in one go. I have a friend coming over for the weekend and wanted to tidy up my apartment before she arrives. I get so tired after just tidying one small spot (like the kitchen counter) that I have to recharge before moving on to the next spot. This obviously triggers the doom scrolling and means that I’m only going to tidy a tiny amount of everything that I need to do. But you get so much done in one go! Neurotypical people will never understand, but as a fellow adhd person - what you manage to do is absolutely incredible!
I am so glad you posted. 🎉🎉🎉 You have been my body double for a weeks now. But I am that point where I have been though your Facebook shorts and your RUclips channel. Now I can fold the laundry while listening to you.
Im serious when I say you are my mini me. I’m very fond of you and enjoy your content. I’m a mom of 2 boys. I sure miss them being small. I love your tips. THANK YOU. 🤍🤗
You’re amazing. I find your voice to be so comforting and soothing. You’re doing a great job ❤ I’ve found that decluttering and putting less out (packing the rest away or removing from the house) means less to tidy up. As a teacher, I’ve learned that kids need to learn how to manage their things with a developmentally appropriate amount of things. Much much less stuff to practice skills with. Reducing their inventory gives them a chance to practice organization and taking care of their things. If we can’t manage it, they certainly can’t.
Not only is it comforting to watch you clean in general, it's comforting to see you show care in cleaning your child's room. Some parents go in the room angry and toss things out.
I always felt like cleaning was my job because I was a stay at home mom. Their rooms looked like what you are cleaning. Telling them to clean them fell on deaf ears. But they grew up to be wonderful hard working adults. You sound like a wonderful, loving mom, which in the end, which is what will matter. ❤
I love your videos and I love how you are a mom! So considerate and loving to your children, they are so lucky to have you ❤ thank you for making these videos! You are a great inspiration 😊
I love that you are working on making sure your babies have good self-talk. I am coming up on 53 and still struggle with negative self-talk. Though not officially diagnosed yet, I am, without a doubt, ADHD and grew up being criticized for messiness, fidgeting and inattention. My older sister called me space case if that says anything. I too struggle with things like consistently brushing my teeth, sensitive gums along with not being able to form habits, so definitely don't feel bad about that. You are amazing and are doing fantastic. I did notice that your son's pens are in a box with multiple trays. I was thinking, it might be easier for him, and you, to just get rid of the trays and put the pens in the box. I have some pens that I have in their original packaging, and it's driving me crazy not having them at easy access. I'm looking into stackable drawers for mine, but I have a full adult desk. So, just thought maybe it would help keep putting the pens away easier if they were just stored in the box without the trays. Looking forward to the next video.
Thank you for your videos. I just found them, and they are so encouraging to listen to as I try to keep my house clean and tidy with 4 little girls and another on the way. My oldest really NEVER sees a mess. She will tidy when I remind her (several times), but it definitely doesn't come naturally! But she also helps me cook, can make breakfast by herself (she's 8), and can clean a bathroom and scrub a floor and enjoy it! My second loves sorting and tidying, always puts her own (and often her sisters') laundry away, and only needs one or two reminders to do her chores. I have the hardest time being consistent with habits and routines, even though I LOVE planning them! But seriously: even though I'm not ADHD, it is MUCH easier to clean and tidy by myself, and takes even more effort to try to get my kids to help. I find that if I thoroughly tidy and organize a space (especially playroom) every 2-3 months, they see how beautiful it can be, and work better to keep it that way for a few weeks. It's like giving a car an oil change. It makes everything run better.
❤❤❤❤ I do find a safe space here. A place of understanding that not many have. Thanks you for uplifting the spirits of others who might feel unseen or not understood. ❤❤❤❤
I just found myself in my inattentive state and thought, I need you. I need your videos to get me motivated to get on with my jobs. Thankyou for your content it helps more than you know! ❤
Remi, you are a wonderful Mom and don't Ever let anybody tell you otherwise. You are the mom your boys are meant to have because you understand what they are going through and can help them. I loved you and your son hugging when you got through folding the clothes.
I think she is so positive about sorting out your house and positive things about your family I found it very encouraging as. Have metal health problems
I think you are absolutely awesome!!!! My house looks like this right now and when I need motivated I go to you!! I love hearing you talk and it sometimes sounds like you are talking about me. I love your attitude and I love how real you are. Most of my family have OCD and their homes are always perfect, I am happy for them but I don't have that problem!!! You have an awesome day and thank you for all the help you bring to me!!!
I’m so glad you talk so openly about neurodivergence, my daughter who is just 6 has ASD and there is so much ignorance around it , and peoples criticism and lack of understanding is a much bigger challenge than ASD itself. Love your bedding ❤
Here I am 2 days before thanksgiving in the states full throttle ADHD and Exec dysfunction so I turn to you Remi. Love you and your content helps me so much. It's like cleaning and getting motivated with my bestie. Only mine doesnt get it so thanks for being here for me and us. Dont let the haters get to you we need you and your an amazing human your boys and family are so lucky. This thanksgiving your on my thankful list ❤❤
I empathise totally. Every morning repeating the same simple instructions over and over again, only to turn round and have to do it again. It’s so overwhelming. ❤️
I have to say how much you say that sounds exactly like my inner thoughts. You are a great mom and I promise your kids will tell you that after they are grown. I have always strived for my kids to have a safe place. You would be surprised how well adjusted that makes them. They will have lots of friends because of that. People will care about them and love them as much as you. Very few regrets here. Please keep giving me a voice to here and videos of cleaning because I still need the extra hand:)
I have really enjoyed watching your videos. I like how you talk to us while we watch you clean. From an outside perspective, it looks like you and your family probably have too much inventory (things) to take care of. It really does make a huge difference when you get rid of a lot of things. There isn’t so much to get out of hand so quickly and it makes your house seem larger. Laundry doesn’t pile up because you are forced to stay on top of it or you won’t have clean clothes to wear. That was the game changer for me and led to us decluttering so much of our things. Again, I love your videos; keep up the good work!
Anytime I watch or just listen to your videos, it feels like giving my childhood self a big hug and telling her it's going to be ok. Thank you for that Remi, you are a blessing to see many. Your kind voice soothes me when I'm beating myself up for the state of my home and how I'm raising my kids. I can't thank you enough. I hope your little family had a lovely Halloween!
Great job on all fronts, including parent and partner. You videos are inspirational for me. They so help me understand myself and help me get my own house in order. Thanks so much!
Mi biggest problem is I’m so slow…I have to mentally program every action and try to do things in a certain order and end up loosing time and getting very tired. I started noticing this things about myself thanks to your videos, you’re an endless source of insight about neurodivergence, thanks a lot for what you do ❤
Ooh, interesting insight. Me too. I've spent most of my life wondering why I can't keep up with everyone else. I think for me I loose a lot of time transitioning from one thing to the next. I can't just switch from one thing to another like so many other people seem to be able to. I've decided this winter to try to do less. Embrace my inner cave-person!! 😄 Instead of pushing through, and getting exhausted, I'm going to try to pair down my commitments and have more cosy evenings in. That's the plan anyway - so far I've not managed very well and am still shattered!! 😅
I get easily overwhelmed, so I need a written plan - a to do list, sometimes even with timeslots filled in. I have to stick to routines, and mostly do things in the same order so I can focus. If I start trying to 'decide' what to do, I get lost in decision paralysis.
You are a great mom Remy. It made me cry when you said that you sometimes think your children deserve better. You are doing your best and that's really the most anyone can do. No such thing as a perfect parent!
The part you said about setting routine and stopping one day is like we never had it - resonated 100% with me on the spectrum. Thank you, you are spot on in identifying and talking about ADHD traits and behaviours 🙏🏼🥰
Two happy thing s I saw...the not water bottle. I have one too! I saw how great Rudy can fold clothes.Please tell him how good of a job he is doing! You are a great mom and little step can be made each day. Allow grace, and forgiveness to enter your home. Can't wait for the next episode. Thanks again.
Not all families are the same; your children are great with donation and my children will go to battle to keep a ripped sticker from the bottom of a soccer shoe. You're leading magnificently ❤
I can only suggest: BINS 😂❤ It changes my life! No, it's not perfectly organized. But it takes away the barriers! It's super easy to throw stuff into them and: • the floors are free • you find what you're looking for So just bought Ikea Kalax boxes and put them on the floor against a wall. NO NOT A KALAX! Only the boxes, next to each other ❤😊
I totally agree. Lids and drawers are my nemesis. My mother used to get so frustrated with me that I didn't "just clean". But even at 40+ I still struggle with anything that has a lid or a drawer. 😢
I love your videos, I’m expecting my 2nd child and lost my job 1 month ago so I am feeling very hormonal and overwhelmed, your video brought tears to my eyes 🥹💜 you are a gift! Keep staying strong and loving your children! Someday your children will be able to watch these videos and see how much they are truly loved! Now, onto the cleaning 🙌🏼 kitchen first!
Your boys are going to remember you and Charlie always being there, always being loved and always standing up for them. Those (things to me anyway) are the most important things. I think you both are doing a wonderful job!! Much love from Kentucky, United States 😘
Oh, Remi, I just love your wisdom and insight and appreciate you for sharing them with all of us!! 🥰 I felt this whole video to the core of my being-as I recognized myself and my sons in what you were saying!! I am saddened to hear about what has been happening w/Rudy; thank goodness he has you and Charlie!!🖤🩶🖤
You are a great Mom. All those people who criticize you have their own major problems. They just choose to project their inadequacies onto you rather than deal with them. In the end if you and your family are happy that is what matter most.
Thank you, dear. I’ve been in a slump recently myself these days (simply because life was too busy) and you explaining things has really helped me get through it.
I'm mostly neurotypical (As far as I know) but I grew up in a VERY dirty house and I'm still struggling to find routines that work for me at 40. But I have gotten much better over the years and I am able to keep a generally tidy house, which I'm grateful for for sure. Thank you for sharing with us!
I love your videos and the topics are so relevant (even though I'm not a parent). People get so judgy with parents as though it's a one-size-fits-all deal and it's not. I love that you're so supportive of your kids and I think you're a great mum. I'm so looking forward to your book.
I love your content so much 🥹 sometimes I put your cleaning videos on just to remind myself that I'm doing okay and that my son is going to be okay too. You're a wonderful mom 💕
You're a great mum, nice to see you and Rudi working together on the laundry 😊 I have 3 grown sons and 2 grandchildren now, I relate to the struggles but when I was a young mum I had to muddle through. I find your chats so relatable and comforting ❤
I feel exhausted just watching you, Remi. My granddaughter makes a lot of mess with toys and activities we do together during her visits. It's exhausting just taking care of children's many needs. I always feel overwhelmed by all the mess I need to tidy afterwards when I'm already exhausted. I ended up having to cull half of the toys for my own sanity!! I just couldn't cope with all the mess as I'm old and tired. People who criticise you for any reason need a wake up call. Just living life creates mess. Well done with all your work. I love your videos as you keep it real and people can identify with that. Sending love from Australia ❤
Bless you remi I love your videos and I can so relate to your life. My son has autism and my daughter shows some signs too and I question if I have it too. Your videos make me feel less alone and gives me the boost to start tidying too. Sending so much love hun ❤x
Thanks remi, I also have adhd and struggle with cleaning and keeping everything tidy. It’s either very clean or very dirty in my house. when there is one little hiccup emotionally I revolt to big messes and rather start sleeping on the couch than clearing the bed. When I feel overwhelmed i put on your videos and tell myself if remi can do it, so can I and clean along while distracting myself with your voice. It’s so true with the habits. They just don’t stick and somehow they also disgust me a little. I feel like rebelling against my routines once one becomes too strict.
This!!! I relate to all of this. I’m also one of those people who hate structure and routine, and would love to be spontaneous (cause that’s who I am inside) but without it my life descends into chaos very quickly!
I found with my kids there was just too much stuff , overwhelmed them and me. I would dread Christmas and birthdays . I asked family and friends if they wished to buy the kids stuff was to buy experiences. BEST idea ever. Also banned stuffies. Less clutter less mind clutter 🐨☺️
My son forgets habits. I have watched it happen. He will have completely lost the habit from one day to the next. He's 26. Late diagnosed ADHD. He checked off so many of the internal ADHD symptoms as a child. But they weren't talked about when he was young. And he wasn't externally hyperactive. So I had no idea.
@@jadadallas5891 this is such an important thing you bring up!! There are different types of ADHD, inattentive type doesn’t manifest as hyperactive so it’s easy to miss in a lot of people who’re still massively struggling day to day!
Hello from Sweden!🇸🇪
I was 55 when I was Diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive, or type 2)
People having type 2 are not hyperactive on the outside but way more on the inside..
I really struggle to quiet my mind whenfor example, going to bed and
My energy is very low all day long ( if I do something "boring", on the other hand I have loads of energy when it comes to do something that I am very passionate about....)
I still forget thing from one day to another or even after 10 min if someone interrupts me😉😄 I am not perfect but I do as good as I can and that is enough..💖🤗
Me too!!!!
I have the exact same son.
@remiclog Yes this! Struggled me entire life with what I was told was childhood trauma induced anxiety and depression. A "sensitive" child who felt everything. Very low, lethargic with short bouts of increased energy which could be brought on by the most simple/strangest of things. I thought I had ocd as just really perfectionist and everything is all or nothing. Fast forward to the birth of my second child. A birth injury which caused no defects..thank god..to my baby being diagnosed with a childhood cancer at six months. ( unrelated to her birth-neuroblastoma- thankfully without the high risk genetics to it !!) So my daughter is now 3 and really high energy. She is just less introvert to me,my husband and son. I just knew from work on trauma that my issues were not caused by trauma...In comes my doctor who knows my whole life story and realises that all my overwhelm and other symptoms tick all the boxes of adhd. I would never have thought. Now diagnosed with adhd with autistic tendencies. I'm struggling more now knowing to be honest 😢
I was teary eyed when you said you can’t change how the outside world would treat your children, but you can be their comfort.. plus the hugging and the kissing… 🥹 bless your heart! Thank you for uploading this beautiful video ❤
@@rodezadelacruz5606 I'm teary eyed also. This was a very moving video for me.
There are those whose insights focus on others behaviors and not their own. True in their lives to those they know, and, as an extension, on social media as well. Knowing this, you can, as you’ve shown, teach others to ignore them and to learn, grow and be an asset to society. ❤
@@rodezadelacruz5606 but Remi can change her world little by little. That will have a snowball effect as she educates us we can educate and be more understanding of others.
Life is so much easier when 80% of our stuff and clothes go out the door. We only use 20% of it anyway, Neurodivergent or not. ❤ It took me over 50 years to realise this.
That's exactly what I was thinking while watching this video. I'm absolutely not picking on Remi, but watching her sort the amount of stuff reminded me that my issues with keeping my house tidy boil down to us (my husband and I) have far too much stuff. That's where I'm going to spend my energy. 😊
I am 39 and just doing major days of getting rid/donating stuff! I am finally realize why my Mom has a “simplify” sign up! Less is really more- for organizing, for our brains to function optimally in a space and all. These videos that Remi makes help, as well as the comments.
@@bexp436 So true. I often think if got rid of the majority of my childrens toys would they be better off as I might feel more regulated
I learned so much. To lose a habit or it not staying if I do not practice it.
@@bexp436I have way to much stuff also, I’m a work in progress.😊
Anyone thinking of leaving a nasty comment just remember this woman and her children and her house affect you in NO WAY, you DO NOT HAVE TO WATCH, and she is not asking for your criticism. Please extend grace and kindness or peace out ✌🏻
I couldn’t have said it better, thank you!😊
I'm a 48 yr old mom of 3 boys. They are all grown and out of the house now. I wish I had you back when I was struggling with all this. I just adore listening to you
I totally agree with you. My house looks like this after 30 seconds.
And I wished that I spent my time doing more playing and not cleaning so much 😢..
And they don’t get any easier when they are teens! In fact I find they make more mess!
LOVE YOUR VIDEOS HOW YOU TAKE THE TIME TO TALK WITH US I PREFER THIS OVER LOUD MUSIC AND YOU KEEP THINGS REAL 🤗
@@yolas123 thank you so much!! Glad you enjoy them 😊
Me too! 💕🎃🤗
Right?? I prefer this to music because it keeps me on track with the ADHD lol ❤
I LOVE IT! I’ll choose voice overs and conversations before music, it makes me feel like I have a friend chatting to me. Thanks Remi ❤
Time to celebrate when there's a new Remi video!! ❤ Thank you for keeping me going x
Oh bless you!! I really hope you enjoy this one! ❤️
Yes, time to celebrate!! 🎉🎉
So glad to see Part 3, Remi! Your gorgeous accent. Just sat down after my chores, and then, OH! It's Remi! Yay. 🎉 and went to get my huge pile of laundry to fold as I spent time with you.🧡🤍🤎
@@Elizagrace9Me too! 😄💕
100 percent. Such joy to see Remi upload
I roll my eyes at the if you make your kids do chores everyday and keep your house clean then your kids will grow up to do the same. There are 5 of us in total between my siblings and I and my mom kept a pristine home and we had a pretty substantial list of chores to do everyday and she made sure we each knew how to clean every single aspect of the home and each and every one of us have different levels of cleanliness in our own homes. From one of my brothers being a complete tornado and not caring at all to keep his space clean to being obsessively clean and tidy. And we all grew up with the same expectations and meticulous level of cleanliness expected. So yeah it's great to make sure children know how to do household duties but it doesn't really guarantee anything in my opinion.
Haha! So true. Oldest of 11. Together, my siblings and I are and amazing work force: working together towards a common goal is something we can do like a well oiled machine. Now 10 years into making my own home and raising my 4 kids: it's still not easy! I know how to do it, I even know how to train my kids to do it, but It is still a lot of effort to DO it. And consistency is hard, especially with a growing, ever changing family...
I'm Autistic/ADHD and minimalism is a Godsend for me!!
I’m not but still agree for any house with kids. the ‘container concept’ was a game changer for me …(Dana k white)
@trebledown6713 do what's best for you. Minimalism is best for me.
In case you might like some tips that helped me:
- Ditch the marker /pen trays and use a clear bin instead. It's faster when putting them away and lets you see inside without dumping everything. User friendly storage and access made a world of difference for me. It has to be easy.
- In my kids room, I had one spot as sorting station where things could go until they were put away. Folded laundry, books, etc., got place in piles, but the deal was everyone had to spend five minutes (or 10 or whatever) or put away five things (10...) each morning and /or each night. I would wander the room gathering things off the floor, sorting as I went, and cheered them on as we all put things away.
- Having all the costumes in one bag guarantees that if anyone wants to play dress-up, the bag will be emptied and left on the floor. Wall hooks for fewer costumes that can be seen might save some mess.
- Same with the teddies, if you can't find the one you want, you're going to dump them all. What about a teddy hammock in the corner?
- The cars in the hamper would be easier on an open shelf, without necessarily taking up lots more space. No dumping everything out to find the one you want.
- Again for books stacked in a drawer or squashed into cupboards.
- Instead of books leaning on a dresser that fall over when a few are removed, I really like cubby shelves (like the Ikea Kalax) for kids books and things.
- I also make lists for each member of the family each day - and it includes things like tooth brushing, which have to be checked off when they are done.
- The other thing I notice with my adult daughter is that screen time is her absolute undoing for getting things done and being able to focus. Screens and technology were not a regular part of her childhood and for her the problem got much worse now that she uses them everyday.
- Instead of a box of toys inside a drawer, I would put the toys in the drawer and toss the box.
- Staging the kids toys like the cute little figures stuck with stick-tack is lovely, but not practical for play or for clean up.
- For me, I had to skip all the extras like Easter decorations and Hallowe'en parties, etc., and stick to Christmas and birthdays only. For the rest we might do something fun, but it couldn't be a big project that put me behind again.
- I always try to prioritize the chores that will get worse if left undone. Laundry and dishes, for instance, will take longer to do if they pile up. Vacuuming or scrubbing, however, take about the same amount of time no matter how bad it gets.
Regarding kids sleeping alone. I had a family bed and nursed my kids beyond the average length of time. My first didn't sleep through the night until she was five and a half. My second was the complete opposite. When #1 moved into her own bed, I put #2 in with her so she wasn't alone. It worked beautifully. Toddler slept through and the big sister was comforted by her presence.
There is a HUGE gap between children understanding the expectations and being capable, and them being ABLE to reliably take responsibility. The first, they can learn quite young. The second can take decades.
My mom had PTSD from childhood trauma and NEEDED the house to be nearly perfect at all times. Despite that, my room was always a disaster, and I could not stay on top of my chores. I tried very hard with my kids to be tidy and to teach those habits, but it was hard. The mess was stressful and the days were busy. As adults, one is tidy and the other is messy but anxious about it. Same house, same parents, different kids.
I wonder if there are any strategies to avoid burn out and avoid getting behind in chores at the same time. Hiring some help - house keeper, mother's helper, babysitter? Doing a work bee with a friend? Having a monthly sleepover for the kids with a family member? Tips from a life coach to help with accountability and brainstorming?
It is SO hard to be a woman /parent /working mom! And even if you put yourself out there on social media, no one has the right to judge you. Being messy is not a moral failing. It may be frustrating, disappointing, uncomfortable, anxiety inducing, overwhelming or inconvenient, but it's nobody else's business. You are a good mom and a good human :)
Beautiful job with the clean up and with Rudy 💜
I have 3 clear shoebox bins
1. Markers
2. School pencils
3. Crayons
A non see thru bin meant everything was dumped out just to find the blue pencil. Lol. So annoying.
I completely agree with you on so many points. Now that I'm 61 I'm changing my priorities again due to ill-health to make keeping myself and the house clean and tidy. It takes quite a mindset shift, but the improvement in my quality of life is so worth it. And it's an ongoing process. 😊
Love your thoughts. I’d also add ‘quality over quantity ‘. (I’d encourage one set of really good pencils that have a precious box in a special
Place.
Declutter the mass of stuff
( be very careful with items of emotional connection like stuffed toys, creations craft can be carefully stored.
@@bexp436 I'm 60 and, when time and energy permit, have always been purging and organizing. It really is a lifetime of shifting through stages of small kids, older kids, elderly parents, aging self...
Remi I cried listening to you talk about Rudi. What a fantastic mother he has with you by his side. I'm sitting in my 14 year old daughters room giving it a clean while she's out with her friends. I tell my kids every day of their lives how much I love them as I didn't have that growing up. My parents fed and clothed us but I never felt truly loved by my mother. You are AMAZING. You have two very lucky children X😊
Great job, Remi 👍 I think you're an awesome mother to those adorable, precious sons of yours. ❤ ❤ ❤
Thank you. For sharing your heart and your home. I'm a 40 year old mom to 4 girls, ages 8,6,4 (this month), and 2. I struggle with anxiety. And have become a minimalist in the last couple years to help with that anxiety caused by messes. Maybe not full minimalism, but so much less. I still get behind on my house. And I'm still mentally and emotionally exhausted a lot. Motherhood is the most amazing and draining job I've ever had. And half the time I feel lost, like I'm messing my kids up. I'm not as patient as I should be. I'm not as "fun" as other parents. There are so many people who will tell you the right way to parent..... thank you for saying "they are your kids, you know them best. " I needed to hear that!
i've got a burnout house right now and it's very overwhelming. watching your videos helps remind me that i'm not alone, and i can in fact tidy my own house. so thank you.
Both of my daughters have ADHD, I taught them how to keep things clean several hundred times. They just aren’t able to keep it up. They’re made different. They’re grown now,and do Their best and that’s all anyone can ask,or should ask. As for people telling you what to do as far as giving your kids chores,etc. Tell them what I used to tell people,”Mind your own garden,my flowers grow differently”😊❤
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My father was an army drill Sergeant. Our house had to be spotless and be able to eat off the bathroom floor! So like you my house always looks like a tornado went through it. Love your videos!
Same
I have followed you for some time now and I´m so impressed with you being so young and yet so very wise. I´m more than dubble your age and I wish I had been this wise when my child was young. Your children are indeed blessed with you as their mother. Greetings from Sweden.
The brushing your teeth thing is soo true. I struggle with it too. Love your videos!!!
It’s comforting to know it’s not just me!
@@remiclogright guys, what helped me was hearing a dentist say this, don't wait for the right time to brush your teeth, so don't wait to do it after breakfast or after your evening meal because knowing people like us, it won't happen, just do it at random when it pops in your head, so I've just done mine at 4pm cause I thought about it, will I do them before bed, no. But at least I did them today. 😊
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@ that’s actually an amazing idea!!!
@@remiclogI hope it helps, I still forget but I'm better than before. ❤
I’m literally tearing up hearing you talk about this. I have adhd and I think my oldest son has it too and I have really been struggling with things like this, especially recently. I want to help him, but it’s very hard to do. Hearing you talk about this has really helped me today. Thank you.
This was my house for a few years years ago when my kids were still young. It’s overwhelming but it doesn’t last! I absolutely love her methods and watching her videos! Everything makes sense she says every day! Now I have grown up children with grandchildren! An high functioning ASD one and a daughter with her own needs. Yet I got through it. It’s hard but patience is key and everything said in this video is so true! I just want to tell people out there that as a parent of Neurodivergent children (now grown up) and now also grandchildren, you WILL get through this, you WILL manage! It’s hard work but you will be able to do everything and more! It doesn’t last forever! Things don’t go away when it comes to neurodivergent people, but they become so much more manageable and easier to manage. Myself and so many others are living proof that we can all do this! Following Remi is a fantastic way to get advice and support with it all as everything she’s saying in her videos takes me back to my life over 20yrs ago when the support and understanding wasn’t around like it is now. Remi is a fantastic wife and mum who literally breaks it all down for everyone in such a way to make the overwhelming tasks in life much easier to accomplish. Thank you Remi for being you!
My daughter-in-law deals with the same issues by refusing to have more than her clutter threshold. It’s one of Dana K White’s things. I love your videos. You and Mac are really good at explaining how these things happen. It helps me understand when I do my free cleanings. It helps it all make sense. Love ya ❤ 😘
Thank you for your content. It helped me a year ago and it helped me today. I have a family of ADHD and autism as well. It’s such a blessing to be reminded it’s not just me! Your content reminds me to give myself and my family grace. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 2 years ago. So I have that in addition to my ADHD. I’ve been battling immense self-criticism and shame. Your positive mindset is an inspiration and your cleaning is motivating! Your statement about nature despite doing all the “right things”, relinquishing control, letting go of ideals, and working with their natural disposition was something I desperately needed to hear. You’re a blessing! ❤
i appreciate you being vulnerable with your dental hygiene habits. That is something that I have also been struggling with for a long time and I feel really shameful about it but it feels comforting to know Im not alone.
I'm the same. When we went in to COVID lockdown I was happy not to leave the house and didn't look in a mirror. When we ran out of food I went shopping in the car and noticed a thing on my tooth. I checked it in the mirror and it was brown plaque! I was horrified! After this really started to work on this and I am much better at it now but it certainly doesn't come naturally. (57, AuDhd)
The most important job anyone ever can have is to be a parent and you are doing an amazing job at it. You are my biggest row model for parenting❤
Sweet comment :) it’s called role model :)
@lemmings6516 thank you 🤣🤣❤️ I literally always struggle with this one 😳😅
I would take all of those pens out of those cases and have them all in one big box so they are far easier for the kids to put away themselves and if they can't get in to the routine just now, or ever, it'll make it easier for you as well.
I struggle to clean my teeth as well. It takes so much effort to motivate myaelf and remember. I do it every night without fail but the first clean of the day is where I trip up. Largely because I have chronic illness with crippling fatigue and throw in autism executive disfunction and it's not as easy for people like us.
You are such a bloody incredible mum! I've said it many times! I see it so much in your videos! There is no such thing as perfection and all the skills you do have and all that you give to your boys gives them some skills that a lot of kids of our generation didn't have. You're doing so much good and deserve to be so proud!
I'm currently studying my 2nd undergraduate degree, this one is Psychology, because I'm also fascinated by the way brains work! I spotted the "My Body" books in the boys' room and it made me smile because I loved those books growing up!
Being a loving mom is way more important than being a spotless housekeeper, and you are a wonderful mom. Also, your house has limited storage, which makes it even harder to keep things put away. Give yourself the credit you deserve!
I realized cleaning up my kids toys day after day after day was insane, I did a deep purge and got rid of a lot of the toys I KNEW they didn’t play with, they were thrown on the floor to get to 1 toy. It took me awhile to get there. I also struggle with routinely brushing my teeth🥴
I love your videos, thank you for sharing
I think everyone is different and hats off to you for prioritizing your children's childhood above everything else. There will always be chores but they won't always be little ❤
Well said!❤👍🤗
Just talking about my own experience here, when my kids were young because of the toys they had, it was always messy! All I could do was do my best with the mess. Once they get older they have different intrests and there's no messy toys around anymore. Sometimes it's just living that paticular season of life, and before you know it they're not little kids playing with toys anymore. I did the best I could with my house back then, it was never perfect and I had hard days but before you know it they're teenagers. And then it's a different kind of mess! When we try our best thats all we can do. You're an amazing, loving, nuturing mum Remi and that really shines through. Your kids will remember all the good times you had together and that's the most important thing. You put things into words so well, I wish I was that articulate! Thanks for another great video, hope you and yours are all well. 🙂👍
Another fab motivational and honest video, thank you for keeping me going, I have 3 adhd and asd kids and your videos make me feel so less rubbish about my home thank you ❤
*I’m really impressed with how you approached cleaning, focusing on a simple yet effective system. It reduces the overwhelm and makes the cleaning process so much easier.* 💯💯💯❤❤❤
Your depth of care and gift at communicating brings tears to my eyes most videos. I am so glad you are raising your voice and using your platform to bring awareness and understanding to others. Thank you Remi
Another fantastic transformation in the bedrooms. Your knowledge, kindness, compassion, patience and thoughtfulness is admirable. You are a blessing to us all. Thank you. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏💪👍🙏💐🎃👻
You and your partner are truly the best parents ever. So much love and encouragement-the rest will sort itself out.
Thank you so much!!! 🥹❤️
Starting therapy next week, thanks to you. In a good way! 😂 Struggled so long to explain what I need help with, until I found you and you explained executive dysfunction. Lifesaver!
I don't have ADHD nor ASD, so most therapists assume I am depressed or traumatized. I did have a burnout, and survived cancer, but that was two years ago and I never lost my smile and the capacity to enjoy things. I could also get stuff done if I really had to. 😅 But with every day stuff I just got.. stuck.
Hopefully therapy can support me while I build up new routines, develop triggers to get off my ass, rewards to keep it fun, and a goal to work forwards to. Your videos got me started, hopefully therapy gets me the rest of the way! ❤ So thank you, Remi.
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Wow you’ve been through so much!!! I’m so excited for you to start your therapy journey! It sounds like you’ve got a brilliant, positive attitude. Sending you all the luck and love in the world ❤️
Such a great and healthy approach! All the best :)
Wishing you all the best!
I literally was crying when you were talking about dental sensory issues and remembering to brush because I have dealt with this shame I felt my whole life(48years). I was diagnosed with adhd in my early 20’s, but it wasn’t like you get this handbook along with it. You have helped me so much to understand why I do or don’t do the things I do. Made me feel more “normal” and that I am far from alone in my struggles and that is so extremely comforting. I will never be able to thank you enough on how you’ve helped me. Ms. Remi you have a great gift and thank you for sharing💛
@@danigirl1318 sending you so much love! ❤️
@@remiclog thank you and sending you and your sweet beautiful love as well!
Admitting responsibility and feeling like you failed is very much a huge step. You will continue to improve!
I know because I, too, have had to learn to do the same.
You have come so far... remember until you die you are still growing and improving.
Thank you! Absolutely ❤️
I’m so impressed with your son helping you fold the clean washing, that’s so grown up and kind. My son is in his 20s and wouldn’t offer to help me so I’d say you’re doing a great job raising your kids.
Quite simply, you are a wonderful mother and a beautiful human being. Bless you and your lovely family. ❤
Your videos changed the trajectory of my life when I realise my messiness of ‘slobiness’ as my mum has always called it wasn’t me being lazy but a side effect of my adhd, just like my tics. I’ve found that putting in strategies really helped and designing my space to suit my needs has really helped. I got a pax wardrobe from ikea that I designed myself to suit my throwing. I got more storage downstairs with big bins to hidy. It’s a work in progress but it’s getting there. Thanks Remi.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are wise beyond your years. I wish that there would’ve been someone like you that would’ve explained my kids world in this way to me. So I could understand what was happening. And WHY! I think I was probably a parent who did more harm than good when it came to this. And I regret it so much!
You can't regret it, we all do the best we can at the time.
@ but i do regret it. I know my daughter especially has suffered because of being made to feel lazy all her life when she wasnt. And our relationship has also suffered because of it. And believe me, I’ve apologized to both of my kids. And I think on some level that apology has helped. But it didn’t undo all those years of us shaming her. And I hate that.
@CaliAnimalLover sorry to hear that 😔. But great you talked to her
The damage is done, there is no use for regret, as these thoughts only keep you in the past, instead of arriving in the present to heal and repair!
Most likely, when you tell your kids today how sorry you are, and get a little emotional, that puts additional pressure on them- they will tell you it wasn’t that bad and override their own feelings again, as most children go very far to keep their parents happy and content. Or they get angry everytime, and that is not the feeling they want to have when they see you.
Instead, try to create a loving and inviting environment for them today. Make them feel good around you and want to come and see you. Be a reason for joy!
And most important: ask and listen. Don’t make it about you, make it about them. Ask what they need, what you can’t do or help or change to make them more comfortable. Be prepared that the feedback will hurt you, and take your time to respond. Don’t become defensive.
This is not easy, but if you want a lasting relationship with your children, this is the only way to give them the safe space they needed as children, and that they can let out all the pain.
I had a similar constellation with my parents, and after I says all I had to say (it took some months) I was able to forgive them, as nothing they did to me was meant to hurt me or intentional, but just as you they simply lacked knowledge. From that moment on our relationship had a chance and started growing, and still is many years later.
No pills or therapy had such a grave impact to my healing as these talks with my parents had.
And you have that chance too- but ask and listen.
I am a mom that always had things neat. My son is ADHD, and we struggled to find a rhythm that kept both of us happy. And I want you to know that I am in awe of you as a mother. You are a rockstar. The encouragement you give them, the ways you give them room to imagine and explore, I only wish I had given my son. We all have our strengths, and I think yours are stellar.
I have inattentive adhd and I’m so impressed by how you manage to tidy up everything like that in one go. I have a friend coming over for the weekend and wanted to tidy up my apartment before she arrives. I get so tired after just tidying one small spot (like the kitchen counter) that I have to recharge before moving on to the next spot. This obviously triggers the doom scrolling and means that I’m only going to tidy a tiny amount of everything that I need to do. But you get so much done in one go! Neurotypical people will never understand, but as a fellow adhd person - what you manage to do is absolutely incredible!
I am so glad you posted. 🎉🎉🎉 You have been my body double for a weeks now. But I am that point where I have been though your Facebook shorts and your RUclips channel. Now I can fold the laundry while listening to you.
Thank you for posting this because I go through the same thing with emotions. Being disabled while having disabled kids is a marathon
Im serious when I say you are my mini me. I’m very fond of you and enjoy your content. I’m a mom of 2 boys. I sure miss them being small. I love your tips. THANK YOU. 🤍🤗
Thank you so much 🥰❤️
@@remiclogyou’re so very welcome. ♥️
You’re amazing. I find your voice to be so comforting and soothing. You’re doing a great job ❤
I’ve found that decluttering and putting less out (packing the rest away or removing from the house) means less to tidy up. As a teacher, I’ve learned that kids need to learn how to manage their things with a developmentally appropriate amount of things. Much much less stuff to practice skills with. Reducing their inventory gives them a chance to practice organization and taking care of their things.
If we can’t manage it, they certainly can’t.
Not only is it comforting to watch you clean in general, it's comforting to see you show care in cleaning your child's room. Some parents go in the room angry and toss things out.
I always felt like cleaning was my job because I was a stay at home mom. Their rooms looked like what you are cleaning. Telling them to clean them fell on deaf ears. But they grew up to be wonderful hard working adults. You sound like a wonderful, loving mom, which in the end, which is what will matter. ❤
I love your videos and I love how you are a mom! So considerate and loving to your children, they are so lucky to have you ❤ thank you for making these videos! You are a great inspiration 😊
I love that you are working on making sure your babies have good self-talk. I am coming up on 53 and still struggle with negative self-talk. Though not officially diagnosed yet, I am, without a doubt, ADHD and grew up being criticized for messiness, fidgeting and inattention. My older sister called me space case if that says anything. I too struggle with things like consistently brushing my teeth, sensitive gums along with not being able to form habits, so definitely don't feel bad about that. You are amazing and are doing fantastic.
I did notice that your son's pens are in a box with multiple trays. I was thinking, it might be easier for him, and you, to just get rid of the trays and put the pens in the box. I have some pens that I have in their original packaging, and it's driving me crazy not having them at easy access. I'm looking into stackable drawers for mine, but I have a full adult desk. So, just thought maybe it would help keep putting the pens away easier if they were just stored in the box without the trays. Looking forward to the next video.
Thank you for your videos. I just found them, and they are so encouraging to listen to as I try to keep my house clean and tidy with 4 little girls and another on the way. My oldest really NEVER sees a mess. She will tidy when I remind her (several times), but it definitely doesn't come naturally! But she also helps me cook, can make breakfast by herself (she's 8), and can clean a bathroom and scrub a floor and enjoy it! My second loves sorting and tidying, always puts her own (and often her sisters') laundry away, and only needs one or two reminders to do her chores. I have the hardest time being consistent with habits and routines, even though I LOVE planning them! But seriously: even though I'm not ADHD, it is MUCH easier to clean and tidy by myself, and takes even more effort to try to get my kids to help. I find that if I thoroughly tidy and organize a space (especially playroom) every 2-3 months, they see how beautiful it can be, and work better to keep it that way for a few weeks. It's like giving a car an oil change. It makes everything run better.
❤❤❤❤ I do find a safe space here. A place of understanding that not many have. Thanks you for uplifting the spirits of others who might feel unseen or not understood. ❤❤❤❤
I just found myself in my inattentive state and thought, I need you. I need your videos to get me motivated to get on with my jobs. Thankyou for your content it helps more than you know! ❤
Remi, you are a wonderful Mom and don't Ever let anybody tell you otherwise. You are the mom your boys are meant to have because you understand what they are going through and can help them. I loved you and your son hugging when you got through folding the clothes.
Yay! You're back!! Love listening to you Remi xx
Thank you so much ☺️ x
I love listening to your voice. You sound like such a nice and happy person.
I think she is so positive about sorting out your house and positive things about your family I found it very encouraging as. Have metal health problems
I think you are absolutely awesome!!!! My house looks like this right now and when I need motivated I go to you!! I love hearing you talk and it sometimes sounds like you are talking about me. I love your attitude and I love how real you are. Most of my family have OCD and their homes are always perfect, I am happy for them but I don't have that problem!!! You have an awesome day and thank you for all the help you bring to me!!!
I’m so glad you talk so openly about neurodivergence, my daughter who is just 6 has ASD and there is so much ignorance around it , and peoples criticism and lack of understanding is a much bigger challenge than ASD itself. Love your bedding ❤
Absolutely!! ❤️
Here I am 2 days before thanksgiving in the states full throttle ADHD and Exec dysfunction so I turn to you Remi. Love you and your content helps me so much. It's like cleaning and getting motivated with my bestie. Only mine doesnt get it so thanks for being here for me and us. Dont let the haters get to you we need you and your an amazing human your boys and family are so lucky. This thanksgiving your on my thankful list ❤❤
Hello remi my son had ADHD ,it can get overwhelming constantly repeating basics things of life, Your video make me cry ..Thanks for your story 😢
I empathise totally. Every morning repeating the same simple instructions over and over again, only to turn round and have to do it again. It’s so overwhelming. ❤️
Thank you again for spreading these wise and well put thoughts out into the world. They are so much needed. ❤
I have to say how much you say that sounds exactly like my inner thoughts. You are a great mom and I promise your kids will tell you that after they are grown. I have always strived for my kids to have a safe place. You would be surprised how well adjusted that makes them. They will have lots of friends because of that. People will care about them and love them as much as you. Very few regrets here. Please keep giving me a voice to here and videos of cleaning because I still need the extra hand:)
I have really enjoyed watching your videos. I like how you talk to us while we watch you clean. From an outside perspective, it looks like you and your family probably have too much inventory (things) to take care of. It really does make a huge difference when you get rid of a lot of things. There isn’t so much to get out of hand so quickly and it makes your house seem larger. Laundry doesn’t pile up because you are forced to stay on top of it or you won’t have clean clothes to wear. That was the game changer for me and led to us decluttering so much of our things. Again, I love your videos; keep up the good work!
Anytime I watch or just listen to your videos, it feels like giving my childhood self a big hug and telling her it's going to be ok. Thank you for that Remi, you are a blessing to see many. Your kind voice soothes me when I'm beating myself up for the state of my home and how I'm raising my kids. I can't thank you enough. I hope your little family had a lovely Halloween!
💯
🤗🤗🎃👻🕸️✨
You are just precious and wonderful. I wish people would lay off the mom guilt and shaming people for not being perfect. You are a great mom.
Just had a chance to finish the video.
Rudy, NiNi is so proud of how you helped your Mum. You folded clothes really well. 🤗♥️
Great job on all fronts, including parent and partner. You videos are inspirational for me. They so help me understand myself and help me get my own house in order. Thanks so much!
Mi biggest problem is I’m so slow…I have to mentally program every action and try to do things in a certain order and end up loosing time and getting very tired. I started noticing this things about myself thanks to your videos, you’re an endless source of insight about neurodivergence, thanks a lot for what you do ❤
Ooh, interesting insight. Me too. I've spent most of my life wondering why I can't keep up with everyone else. I think for me I loose a lot of time transitioning from one thing to the next. I can't just switch from one thing to another like so many other people seem to be able to.
I've decided this winter to try to do less. Embrace my inner cave-person!! 😄 Instead of pushing through, and getting exhausted, I'm going to try to pair down my commitments and have more cosy evenings in. That's the plan anyway - so far I've not managed very well and am still shattered!! 😅
I get easily overwhelmed, so I need a written plan - a to do list, sometimes even with timeslots filled in. I have to stick to routines, and mostly do things in the same order so I can focus. If I start trying to 'decide' what to do, I get lost in decision paralysis.
You are a great mom Remy. It made me cry when you said that you sometimes think your children deserve better. You are doing your best and that's really the most anyone can do. No such thing as a perfect parent!
The part you said about setting routine and stopping one day is like we never had it - resonated 100% with me on the spectrum. Thank you, you are spot on in identifying and talking about ADHD traits and behaviours 🙏🏼🥰
Two happy thing s I saw...the not water bottle. I have one too! I saw how great Rudy can fold clothes.Please tell him how good of a job he is doing! You are a great mom and little step can be made each day. Allow grace, and forgiveness to enter your home. Can't wait for the next episode. Thanks again.
Not all families are the same; your children are great with donation and my children will go to battle to keep a ripped sticker from the bottom of a soccer shoe. You're leading magnificently ❤
I can only suggest: BINS 😂❤
It changes my life! No, it's not perfectly organized. But it takes away the barriers! It's super easy to throw stuff into them and:
• the floors are free
• you find what you're looking for
So just bought Ikea Kalax boxes and put them on the floor against a wall. NO NOT A KALAX! Only the boxes, next to each other ❤😊
I totally agree. Lids and drawers are my nemesis. My mother used to get so frustrated with me that I didn't "just clean". But even at 40+ I still struggle with anything that has a lid or a drawer. 😢
Oh how wonderful to have just found someone so like me who is so honest. Thank you!
Remi, I have never related to a cleaning youtuber so much. Absolutely LOVE your videos, thank you for being so vulnerable all the time ❤
Wow! What a fabulous topic for this video. You’ve done a great job again! Kudos! 👏
I love your videos, I’m expecting my 2nd child and lost my job 1 month ago so I am feeling very hormonal and overwhelmed, your video brought tears to my eyes 🥹💜 you are a gift! Keep staying strong and loving your children! Someday your children will be able to watch these videos and see how much they are truly loved! Now, onto the cleaning 🙌🏼 kitchen first!
Your children are incredibly lucky to have such a caring, supportive and understanding Mum. Thank you for always being so real xx
Tears at a cleaning video I never saw that comming. Thankyou for sharing ❤
Love you! Thank you for your videos. 💕
Your boys are going to remember you and Charlie always being there, always being loved and always standing up for them. Those (things to me anyway) are the most important things. I think you both are doing a wonderful job!! Much love from Kentucky, United States 😘
Oh, Remi, I just love your wisdom and insight and appreciate you for sharing them with all of us!! 🥰 I felt this whole video to the core of my being-as I recognized myself and my sons in what you were saying!! I am saddened to hear about what has been happening w/Rudy; thank goodness he has you and Charlie!!🖤🩶🖤
Seriously impressed on how your boy can fold clothes! He's better than my husband 😂 From one mum to another, you're doing a fab job ❤️❤️
You are a great Mom. All those people who criticize you have their own major problems. They just choose to project their inadequacies onto you rather than deal with them. In the end if you and your family are happy that is what matter most.
This made me tear up. Beautiful words Remi. Profound.
Remy, I love you so much. Thank you for all that you do and say. ❤❤❤
From one mom to another, thank you Remi for this video. So reassuring hearing your perspective. ❤
Thank you, dear. I’ve been in a slump recently myself these days (simply because life was too busy) and you explaining things has really helped me get through it.
I'm mostly neurotypical (As far as I know) but I grew up in a VERY dirty house and I'm still struggling to find routines that work for me at 40. But I have gotten much better over the years and I am able to keep a generally tidy house, which I'm grateful for for sure. Thank you for sharing with us!
I love your videos and the topics are so relevant (even though I'm not a parent). People get so judgy with parents as though it's a one-size-fits-all deal and it's not. I love that you're so supportive of your kids and I think you're a great mum. I'm so looking forward to your book.
Thank you so much, Remi! People who don't have neurodivergence just don't get it. You've created such a safe and understanding environment here!
Wow! Rudy has grown SO MUCH!
And look at how beautifully he folds clothes!! He’s doing fantastically! Good for you Rudy and Mom!!
I love your content so much 🥹 sometimes I put your cleaning videos on just to remind myself that I'm doing okay and that my son is going to be okay too. You're a wonderful mom 💕
You're a great mum, nice to see you and Rudi working together on the laundry 😊 I have 3 grown sons and 2 grandchildren now, I relate to the struggles but when I was a young mum I had to muddle through. I find your chats so relatable and comforting ❤
I feel exhausted just watching you, Remi. My granddaughter makes a lot of mess with toys and activities we do together during her visits. It's exhausting just taking care of children's many needs. I always feel overwhelmed by all the mess I need to tidy afterwards when I'm already exhausted. I ended up having to cull half of the toys for my own sanity!! I just couldn't cope with all the mess as I'm old and tired.
People who criticise you for any reason need a wake up call. Just living life creates mess. Well done with all your work. I love your videos as you keep it real and people can identify with that. Sending love from Australia ❤
Bless you remi I love your videos and I can so relate to your life. My son has autism and my daughter shows some signs too and I question if I have it too. Your videos make me feel less alone and gives me the boost to start tidying too. Sending so much love hun ❤x
Thanks remi, I also have adhd and struggle with cleaning and keeping everything tidy. It’s either very clean or very dirty in my house. when there is one little hiccup emotionally I revolt to big messes and rather start sleeping on the couch than clearing the bed. When I feel overwhelmed i put on your videos and tell myself if remi can do it, so can I and clean along while distracting myself with your voice. It’s so true with the habits. They just don’t stick and somehow they also disgust me a little. I feel like rebelling against my routines once one becomes too strict.
This!!! I relate to all of this. I’m also one of those people who hate structure and routine, and would love to be spontaneous (cause that’s who I am inside) but without it my life descends into chaos very quickly!
I found with my kids there was just too much stuff , overwhelmed them and me. I would dread Christmas and birthdays . I asked family and friends if they wished to buy the kids stuff was to buy experiences. BEST idea ever. Also banned stuffies. Less clutter less mind clutter 🐨☺️
❤❤😂😂 "did I.... No I didn't!"😂😂so funny. It's always motivational and funny to watch you. Thank you for bringing everyone along with you.😎😀