The Truth About Bad Habits
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- It happened again...back to square one. Why do we fall back into the bad habits again and again?
⭐️ Ready to change? Break bad habits and stay motivated with my behavior change course - How to Change! Sign up here: kdocherty.com/how-to-change-p... ⭐️
Here are 5 reasons why habits keep coming back, as well as some tips for how to prepare for and manage your behavior change process when they do come back. You'll learn that relapse is a normal part of change, that habits are our default behavior and that we can't take failure personally if we truly want to make lasting change. We'll look at some examples found in Atomic Habits by James Clear, and improve on them to help your understanding.
If you like this kind of content - please let me know by leaving a LIKE and a COMMENT. It really means a lot to me.
Timestamps:
0:00 - "This time will be different"
0:50 - What is a Habit, actually?
3:40 - The Habit Loop
5:30 - My course: How to Change
6:03 - Intentional Self vs Habit Self
9:10 - Habits are your Default Behavior
10:00 - A Person'oil' example
11:41 - Don't Take Failure Personally!
14:55 - Watch this next!
Sources:
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/e...
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ummm, ok, I love your channel and even have your book (It has helped some of my clients, too) buuuut bicycling and driving are more muscle memory than habits. As Im sure you know, the neural pathways for muscle memory are formed differently than those for habits. However your little lamb in the describing of neural pathways aka 'grooves' was spot on.
Mine cause is ADHD , knowing this has really helped, means I have to set loads of short goals
Ok, I liked, commented & even this comment to the pinned comment!
Then I asked myself: _Are these good habits, or OCD habits that I need to break?'_ =)
@@lauraanne5175 I'm not sure there is any meaningful distinction between muscle memory and habits aside from how we as people view them. Both are formed via the basal ganglia, both are automatic. I think it's more accurate to say muscle memory is a type of habit, because neurologically there is really no difference in terms of the bypassed decision making (which is the relevant problem the video is about, so.)
Kiana, this video has helped me so much
This is exactly me. I was so motivated and did great in 2023, but bad habits crept back in during the holidays. It's been months since the holidays, but I'm still struggling to fight these temptations.
I hear this a lot. The holidays give us an excuse to overeat and, for some people, drink alcohol. But once the holidays are over, it’s time to get back on track. Best of luck to you.
You got this!! 💪
Youre gonna have to ex those holidays out of your priorities.... im in the process of doing this personally. We have so many holidays and celebrations that are centered around eating
It was the same for me. I had to go back to basic and start again.
Thats the problem. “Motivation “ it essentially takes control and pushes you forward. Once it runs out you are back to square one. You have to learn to stop relying on motivation and turn it into discipline
Quit drugs 2004, drinking 2011, smoking 2017. Havent had fast food or anything not cooked at home in 20 plus years. I workout 6 days a week. I am too hard on myself to have any bad habit return. Gotta be a tough cookie and say no ❤
Massive respect, I'm still fighting with smoking, been a hellish battle. Anything that stresses me out too much just makes me relapse
@Adhanks91 Smoking is such a tough one as it technically acts like a Monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOIs) medication. It's a type of drug used to treat anxiety, depression and panic. So it's like cold turkey stopping a medication for your brain. Any reduction is progress ❤
@@Adhanks91 I know you can do it 🙂
I quit weed 4 years ago and now quit smoking 2 weeks ago! Wish me luck. Next stop --> proper eating habits.
@@Shouko91 That's great!
Best wishes to you! 😃
One sentence that helps me a lot is: Progress not perfection.
I keep that in mind if I slip up with one of my new healthy habits and remind myself that, yes I just choose to take the lift instead of the stairs, but I had a healthy lunch and I took my bike to work today. And I can just use the stairs the next time. It doesn't have to be perfect, there just has to be some progress. It takes the pressure out of making everything perfect and reminds you to keep going even if today wasn't good. Or this week wasn't good. Just pick up where you left it and continue. No need to beat yourself up. It happens
I should frame this comment fr.
So true ! 👍👍👍😊
Practice makes progress
This video pops up just when I relapse on my doom scrolling habit. What a Godsent.
And me with my RUclips habit. lol stay strong!
@@IceGoddessRukiaFr, I can't NOT watch RUclips for a day, stay strong for you too!
i quit reddit a few days ago but started drinking again. not sure what to make of it
@@merpie1017 Intense boredom? Do you have any hobbies or something to do outside of school/work/care?
@@JinMeowsoon i have hobbies although its expensive. i dont do school, but i work dead end jobs because i dont have any trades i can make money with. im thinking about going back to college because of it
Love the shift in your content recently, Kiana. It's been wonderful to watch your channel evolve and the production value has gotten so good as well.
I love all of Kiana’s content, but these habit videos simply don’t spark my interest as much as her other stuff 😭
Somehow I just can’t stay engaged! My favourite videos of her are health related, like the fascia one or the ones on nutrition.
Obviously it doesn’t matter what I think, as it’s 100% up to Kiana to make whatever content she enjoys so more power to her 💛
I don't feel like the production value has gone up. The video is still out of sync and the black screen with white text thing in this one is rough to watch, plus the inappropriate jump cuts haven't gone away and there's no music anymore.
Ahh this is so true. I cut out sugar and processed foods 5 weeks ago, but before I did I layed out some ground rules.
1. A list of healthy "fun" foods I could have as much of any time so I didn't feel deprived.
2. Back up frozen meals incase I'm low energy and want to divert to old habits.
3. Switching my social outings from dinner to coffee dates so I can still be social but limit temptation.
“Do then feel” - this is something one of our therapists at my job always says, and I always have it in the back of my head when I don’t want to cook a healthy meal or do a workout. This and “imperfect consistency”, have helped me now lose my first 15 pounds. Love these videos Kiana!
thanks for this!! adopting this as my new mantra
Your last video sent my husband into a frenzy of checking every single label we purchase.
Thank you for your service. We made tomato sauce from scratch.
i'm not the only one then XD
Isn't it eye-opening and horrifying what is put into "food" nowadays?
I wore my retainers for years. Recently, I’ve stopped wearing them, and haven’t been doing it for weeks. Hard to believe that you can just lose a good habit like that. I’ll be wearing my retainers again.
I learned how to lose weight... be more poor. 😂 I think I've lost about 20 lbs in 3 months after moving out of my parents.
Centuries ago kings were the only fat people because they were the only people who could afford to get fat. Not all kings were fat of course
Can relate to the pill story. I took Biotin supplements for hair/nails for a couple of months until my hairdresser commented that my hair felt thicker than usual and asked if I'd changed anything. Pretty much as soon as that happened I stopped taking them because I wasn't worrying about whether it would make a difference.
But now I'm the same with my medication and I had to have a talk with myself. Like girl you will die if you don't take your meds so stop forgetting to take them.
I take omega3 and Folic acid partly for this. Your skin and hair will be beautiful on it. I noticed when I was pregnant my hair was amazing, people say it's the pregnancy hormones. Nope. Started Folic acid again and discovered that was it.
@@e_i_e_i_bro exactly. The whole reason they recommend vitamins during pregnancy is not because you can't eat your way there, but because they know people already aren't eating correctly.
You will die if you dont take hair supplements? I don't understand lol, is biotin something more? Never heard of it
@@petern.j.4121they're probably talking about a different medication
@@petern.j.4121 she said she's also that way with her medication
Before watching the vid...must be a banger as always...after watching the vid.... it's a banger as always
You cannot use short-term intensity to make up for a lack of long-term consistency. Staying strong even when it sucks is key. Great video!
I heard something once that stuck with me: “motivation is the ability to keep a thought in your head for a sustained about of time.” Or something along those lines.. has changed my life.
Very interesting! Love this actually. I definitely think attention / focus / the amount of cognitive real estate you dedicate to something plays a major role in the outcome.
As someone with ADHD this isn't possible for me. My brain is running on so many different thoughts all the time that I can't even remember to eat if I'm too busy lol
@@kyokoyumi I feel like habits for people with ADHD work slightly different. I have to consciously think about tasks daily. Its like what she said in the video. I could have a habit for months or even years but the one day I forget, it's like the habit never happened.
@@KianaDocherty it was a video by Healthy Gamer about motivation.. I’m sure you can find it if you search that
@@exxology1 thank you i'm going to check it out ^_^
This video came just in time for me! Been doing all the healthy things, more than I ever have. But I feel the demotivation creeping.
Between you and Dr.K, the amount of amazing mental health information available is incredible.
Dr K from healthy gamer right? His content has quite literally changed my life! Kiana has also provided me with so much motivation.
You are the best content creator on RUclips, and it's not even close. I have never had food or weight issues, but have had severe OCD my whole life, am entering my late 30's, and up until about 9 months ago was on an intentional self-destruction rampage, and while I have been in OCD treatment my entire adult life, I am very painfully aware of reality and what all of my little choices do to contribute to it - but you have been such a huge factor in helping me see WHERE the failures in my thought process are, and it's been invaluable. You are so gifted at stating things in such a clear factual way while also being comforting and compassionate. I just want you to know that lots of us who don't comment very often are very grateful for your content. It goes way beyond what your channel started as, but you TOTALLY found your calling. I don't want to call you a motivational speaker because that title feels cheap for what you actually do. Idk what you call yourself, but whatever it is, you are top tier at it. Thank you for your content, I'm absolutely signing up for that class.
thank you so so much
134 days clean! next goal, 135 :). we can get to our goals together!!
I've always called this "pressing the f*ck it button" and it's very difficult for me to avoid pressing it when I slip up unless I stay extremely aware and vigilant.
I just wrote a paper for one of my masters of social work classes on this topic! Creating behaviour change in individuals with skin picking disorder using a person-centred, harm-reduction approach. I think being gentle with yourself when “falling off track” and setting smaller, more attainable goals are important parts of achieving true habit change.
I love all of your videos and appreciate all the hard work you put into making these for us! ❤️
I always thought I wasn't cut out to be very disciplined, but then I tried one small change: to make my bed everyday after waking up. It's a good start of the day, won't pity myself if I slip or forget, no punishments in case of failure, and it made me realise that yes, I CAN change things for the better if I want to, even if it's one bed a day.
I think you did a better job with your course title than James Clear did with his book title because Atomic Habits sounds like it would be about exploding nuns.
😂😂 That would be awesome!!!
After relapsing back into my old habits today and feeling really bad about it, having this video pop up on my feed is just what I needed. Thank you
Girl, your content is so perfect and it has really been speaking to me lately. Ive been trying to lose weight for years, but lately I've been trying to lose over time while eating whole foods and being healthier with a coach. I have a lot of habits I need to break; it's an awful process! Your video on accountability really changed the way I approach my health. If my word means nothing, I'm not going to listen and I won't make any progress. Thank you for all this!
I literally just sent this video to my therapist because this is exactly the pathway we use in therapy to do better and put in action strategies to prevent using the old maladaptive coping mechanisms
I like to tackle one single habit at at time. Right now, I've managed to get into the habit of taking the stairs, walking whenever possible and going to the gym on my lunch break. Those 3 took over a year to become a habit. I'm currently working on going to bed around the same hour every evening but this one's proving to be tricky!
Great video! So on point!
I’m a recovering addict. I’m not a counselor, but I do spend time working with other addicts who are not as far along in their recovery as I am. I do a group a couple times a week and this video won’t be the first one of yours I share with the group. The two things I appreciate the most about this particular video is that it clearly answers two questions that constantly come up in a meaningful way and with visuals that clearly illustrate the answers.
In group we inevitably have a long discussion about whether it is better to tackle quitting smoking at the same time we’re working on abstaining from the drug of choice (DOC) and illicit drugs in general. I always support doing both for the simple reason that the patients are already engaged in changing a similar (or same, truthfully) habit so why not make it easier on themselves and kill two birds with one stone, so to speak? Of course, almost always the response to this is “quitting my DOC is hard enough, smoking gives me something else to do instead that is not as bad”, etc., etc. Well, not as bad is debatable, and doing it instead is really doing it at the same time (when they were using). The video explains beautifully how the patients might as well apply the same process at the same time to quit two habits and get both under control instead of playing a perpetual game of Whack a Mole…quitting one habit whilst another starts popping up again because the intensity of working on the first is becoming triggering. Whilst I never encourage taking on too much when first working on sobriety, working on abstaining from two or more drugs at a time, even if one is “only nicotine”, makes perfect sense!
Also, I always find it difficult to explain with true clarity why we always describe recovery as a life long process. I love how the video explains this in such a simple way. It’s one thing to say habits never really go away, but groove analogy and really illustrating how, like many things related to our bodies and minds, a habit is still there and, in fact, even more deeply ingrained, so we must be continually aware of its ability to push through to the surface even when we least expect it! Actually, especially when we don’t expect it because then we are absolutely the most vulnerable!
Sorry for my long winded rambling! Thank you again for a truly fantastic and educational video!
I needed this video’ cuz I realized few more habits that I worked so hard to avoid has slowly crumpled it way back! Learning to work on it again 😅❤
hope this video helps!! you got this!
My best habit is always watching Kiana soon as she uploads 😁
i cant even describe the effect your videos have had on me, started watching a few weeks ago and every word you say just hits like you’re speaking right to me. thank you and i hope everyone here can have the strength to grow
very timely video; i fell off eating healthy pretty hard.. i lost about 20lbs last year.. and have gained it all back. i literally said to myself a couple days ago that i'm back at square one. i've always been discouraged when thinking about habits - i felt like habits just don't happen for me. it was very helpful to hear that it's a normal thing to go back to old ways after a slip up
Taking the shame away from it is a huge relief. Thank you!! I have had many habits I have been trying to break over the years and it's nice to know that my brain is just built that way and it's nothing I have been really doing wrong. ❤
I swear you time your videos perfectly every time! I've noticed myself slipping into old bad habits recently and have felt like I'm in a rut. This was my cue to take a look in the mirror, remind myself what I'm capable of (and why I want to change), and get back up. Thank you for the amazing content as always, Kiana! 🥰
Hearing summaries of atomic habits with additional information and perspective from various RUclipsrs and podcasts does not get old. Hearing wisdom from different voices with new examples added. A perfect reminder of how to think about personal development and improvement in a manageable way.
Adore these videos Kiana. Thank you. Habits are so hard to break and require so much fight, it's delightful when I can come back to your videos to re-motivate myself and relearn things I've forgotten. ❤❤
Love your content, Kiana! Your channel is so important! Keep up the great work 👏 😊
Thank you so much for this video. It dramatically changed my perspective of habits and downfalls. It allows me to be more patient when adapting to a new habit and be more compassionate toward myself when mistakes happen.
I absolutely adore your content, it feels like ive finally found comfort and genuine care from someone who really is looking out for the world and GENUINELY wants to see others succeed ❤so happy you share your insights and help with us kiana! Thank you! 🙏
This RUclips channel kind of saved my life. I started watching your videos for entertainment but then I realised how similar your story was to mine. Your teachings have changed my life so much and I’m in a much better place now. Sorry to sound so mushy haha❤️ I love your videos - proud subscriber from the UK.
😭❤️
A perfectly timed video for me! Have been really on point since Jan 1st but my bad habits have been creeping back in the last two weeks!
Ahhhh loved this one. Can't wait to support your program! The most success I ever had was when I didn't let myself dwell on slip ups and just kept pushing forward. Even at the end of a messy week, pushing forward is worth celebrating. Onwards & upwards 💖
Kiana this was perfect timing! Since December I had been gradually losing weight, eating better, working out more, doing a skincare routine, scrolling on my phone less, and watching tv less and in the last couple of weeks I’ve slowly gotten complacent and dropped off on some things but you’re right. I just need to saddle back up and get back on the horse and keep pushing forward towards my goals.
"If you've tried to change and failed repeatedly; the problem isnt you, it is your strategy"
Thank you i needed to hear this..
Went to therapy n dropped out after being told "you have to *want* to get better" which i saw as a problem of me not wanting to get better enough since i wasnt getting better.
Your videos are top notch and are just getting better and better, thank you!
Excellent video, Kiana! So powerful to take the morality/virtue out of relaspe and just engage with it as a normal, human part of a process. Plan ahead and then relapse js not your point of failure, just another stop along your path of progress. 🎯
I worked hard for over a year, eat better worked out and felt great. And three weeks ago I was in a mild car accident and now I have a broken femur and I can't do anything demanding too much efforts... I hate it.
Omg this is exactly what I need! You did it again Kiana! Thank you so much!
Been loving the topics, editing and overall viewing experience of your videos lately, keep it up!
The timing of this topic is impeccable. Thank you so much for making this video!
Been watching your channel for a while. I love the direction you’ve gone. Great videos, valuable information.
Loved this video! I'm a binge eater and sugar addict and I've lost about 80lbs in the last few years. I'm still struggling with building new habits and I feel like I keep hitting a wall. Understanding the mental aspect of things is extremely helpful! Very excited for your new course, I signed up last week!
I’m loving these self improvement videos! Thank you💜
Kiana, thank you for this. I love how concise and concentrated this video is. It has actually changed my perspective on this topic. Thank you
This really helped recognize why I return to my skin picking habit from time to time. You are the best Kiana!
Thank you Kiana!!! always motivating, and reminding me, okay I need to change, but for the good, and take out the bad, still on my recovery journey, but im really glad you put out such videos to help us understand and become better, very much appreciate it 😭♥
Yay! I’m in the process of solidifying some habits into my life so this is a great little boost to watch. Thank you!
That happy sleeping dog is such a mood ❤
Thanks again for another great video. You've framed this so well - I really like "intentional energy". And I'm a perfect example: on and off the low carb cycle for years, on more than off, lost a bunch of weight. Then fell off hard, had an auto immune illness flare up a few months ago, and during these few months I've noticed that big doses of processed sugar makes my symptoms worse. It's a massive motivator to eat healthy, keeps me intentional, keeps me mindful. Now I don't have a perception of eating low carb as a struggle, but just a way of life for me. And I think, as you said, this is because my mindfulness and intention is ever present because of my symptoms.
Thank you! I really needed to hear that today!
I started following ages ago for the videos on nutrition and reactions, I love this new self help content you've been adding on top of the usual stuff.
I'm looking forward to the course! If it's anything like the videos you've been putting out lately I'm all in. :)
ty for the videos Kiana. was really struggling with my food habits when the video about ultra processed food came out, set me straight!
Thank you so much, this information really helped me!! Today I decided not to take my 40 minute walk in the morning because I felt so tiered. But hearing that I shouldn’t take this L personally, and instead plan out for failures, is what I need to hear. Thanks queen💋❤️
Thank you for helping me understand what is going on and how I can get back to the path I really want for myself. This imo is the best video you've done to date! This, the discipline one, and the cheetoes - I learned so much about myself and the external and internal forces at work in achieving (or "failing") at my goals.
Thanks again, for yet another BANGER, Kiana 👍👏🤙
this video was so helpful! i hadn’t actually thought about a lot of this, thanks Kiana!
This is so motivational! I love how researched your content is. I always look forward to your videos
Omg. I needed to hear this today.
Thank you so much ❤
Taking it personally- so relatable - love it!
Kiana, your videos are truly helpful, I don't know if you know this but you are truly a blessing, thanks for sharing all this, I'm here because of my weight and eating disroders but I learn so much more, thank you ❤
Love love loooove the content you've been posting lately, especially the discipline one. Thank you so much for these informative videos. ❤❤
I am really looking forward to your course!! I was hoping this would be the link to start it! Very eager!!😊
I was doing so well the last 2 years on my weight loss journey and lost 70lbs and then i got pregnant again and feel right back into my old bad habits and I’ve used the pregnancy as an excuse now I’ve gained 30lbs back and im super sad about it but can’t seem to stop. I just hope it will be as easy to fall back into my good habits as it was to fall into bad ones
Your course will take you to the moon! Congrats on your success, Kiana.
Thank you Kiana, I needed this video today 😊
You’ve done it again, Kiana. You’ve completely shifted my life view in just one video!!
You always make the best videos honestly, much love from England!
Was just thinking about you, and here you are!! Theenks for all you do, lady!!
Thank you - everyone at work kept telling my I was so on track, I got a little lacks with my new lifestyle...
I was just feeling like it might just as well go completely wrong, so thank you - I feel better about myself now 🙂
This video has come at the perfect time for me. Thanks
Thank you for this video. It's so helpful to know that "relapse" is part of the process.
this is super insightful. Thanks!
This video couldn't have come at a better time! I've been very successful at building good habits over the past few weeks but anxious that it's going to be like every other time and not last. Now I know what to do when bad habits come back up, instead of just giving up
I just employed so much from your video on discipline and now this banger... Thank you Kiana for helping me getting my life back together
thanks kiana for making all these videos
it has helped me alot both with my weight and my mental health
You are amazing and I'm so grateful for your research and presentation, full of encouragement and personal anecdotes. ❤
James Clear woke some of us up to the 4-quad habit mechanics, but your insight perfected his work. I know it'll take about as long and about as hard a time as learning to drive did, but now I see the way.
14:00 Changing my environment has the biggest impact on whether I can keep up a new habit. To paraphrase Cass from Clutterbug, make it easier to follow through with your desired habit than it is to do your default habit. If my environment is set up so that my desired action is the easy, no-brainer action, I’m 95% more likely to follow through. Sometimes it’s as simple as putting your phone farther away (if reducing screen time is a goal).
Your videos are life-changing. Thank you!!
I really needed this today, thank you for your great video ❤
Most helpful channel on the platform at the moment.
Incredible. Thanks for sharing.
When I started working out I was at the point several times where I needed to decide to skip over my usual routine (out of tiredness or laziness or other, little more valid reasons) or to grit my teeth and go through with it. Whenever I came to that point I asked myself what would happen if I did skip and came to the conclusion that if I gave myself this out then I probably would next week too and the next week and the next. Connecting with that feeling really helped me to keep consistent and I’m now (I think) in my fifth year of doing home workouts
I'm a recent sub and honestly I am so grateful that I found you. Thank tou for tour videos that help so many like me. 😊 Habits are so hard to quit and make. Especially for people that can get bored easily like me.
Your channel is incredible, I love watching your videos at the gym!
This is really encouraging to hear.
ahhhh i’ve been wanting for you to make a video about relapsing for so long🙏prayers answered
I appreciate your videos so much, you have such a thoughtful and thorough way of explaining, clearly so much effort goes into the production, the background is cute, your dog is cute, and you're beautiful :) thank you!
I wish you the best with your course launch.🙂
aww thank you!!