Allison's long suffering look every time one of John and Gabe's chaotic ideas come up gets me every time🤣 anyways love your insights and excited to read your book!
Thank you so much for posting this! My partner and I are planning to go to couples therapy, and I’ve felt really embarrassed telling people because of the assumptions they make about us and our relationship (that we’re on the rocks, having huge issues, etc). Thanks for normalizing going to couples therapy even when it’s not a “dire” situation.
i really appreciate you making this because it changed my pov on the whole topic. I grew up with parents who had an extremely volatile and toxic relationship and they were always in and out of counseling (important note that it was counseling provided by our church and the counselor was NOT a professional in any capacity lmfao which I didn't realize until I was much older). anyway, I think even though I'm such a fan of therapy for myself I was holding onto some negative connotations with couples therapy because Ive never seen it actually be helpful. this video has really shifted things for me. luckily I'm not in a relationship rn so i have more time to further look into this should i need it but your case was convincing!!!
This is so interesting because I'm Irish and it's very traditional in Catholicism to do a pre martial course with a priest coming up to your wedding which a lot of my family members did (which is crazy, priests are not allowed have relationships or get married but i digress) But the thought of having pre marriage counselling with a licenced therapist is such a good idea
Except no religious authority has training in counseling, mental health or psychology. They are talking to people with an agenda to make the relationship follow the religious rules and never get divorced bc it’s a sin. It has nothing to do with the actual marriage people in it. It’s about control. This is also normative in Christianity and its offshoots.
my wife and i did premarital couples counseling, but it was part of getting married, our officiant insisted on it and she was really good at it. we also did couples counseling which was kinda terrible at a low point in our marriage, but it was less than five sessions. it served to unite us in hating the counseling. 20 years in, i feel like going to counseling is a good call and if you can proactively go to counseling before a transition hits (getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc), it'll work a lot better.
I just started going with my partner! We’re doing it, like yall, when we’re not in crisis. I have found it difficult to tell other people we’re doing it though. I think there’s some stigma around being in couples therapy (like ohhhh you guys are gonna break up) and then while I explain that we’re doing it while things are good to chat about marriage and that kind of stuff people are like “pshh you can’t just do that on your own” which is odd. You can’t win in some ways!
My partner and I plan to get married in three years and I've broached the subject of pre-marital counselling and pre-nups. We're both on board and I'm kind of excited for when we start because they're both new experiences and opportunities to learn about each other, as well as make sure our ducks are in a row pre-marriage.
when you guys were talking about doing something similar in a nontherapy setting, it reminded me of having relationship check-ins. i'm not sure how common/well known these are for monogamous couples (i learned about it from multiamory podcast when i was in a throuple), but its really great to have regular, slightly structured check-ins. i wanna try couples therapy too tho :3
My girlfriend and I do this on our monthiversary! We call it "girlfriend review" (positive) and its just us checking in, remembering some of our favorite parts of the month. In the beginning we would be more structured and ask questions like "is there anything that hurt your feelings that feels unresolved?" "What were your favorite parts of the month/what did you feel we struggled with?" etc, but now 1.5 years in we just flow into the convo. The crux is that we do this because we love each other and love us as a couple, we've never used this "review" as a way to critisize or judge one another, and when there are bigger squabbles we talk it out in the moment- but the review is a nice way to check back on those moments and notice if they're really put to rest. That being said I would like to do couples therapy if we decide to cohabitate/get married because it sounds amazing. To get my body accustomed to regulating around my partner and vice versa seems like a dream, if it isnt happening already. 💜
Allison! I can’t believe you didn’t take the opportunity to say “if therapy isnt accessible you can GO THROUGH MY BOOK and ask the questions I list at the end of each chapter of the book with your partner.” Gotta SELL BABY!
Absolutely love this episode!!! It felt good to watch and maybe my partner and I will be able to do couples therapy one day!❤Also some non-profit counseling centers will have discounted or free couples therapy with therapist trainees or even associates/licensed therapists! I have a traineeship at one in California that is free for families and couples :)
Allison, if I'm looking to try couples counselling to learn about this 'nervous system regulation', how do I go about finding a counsellor who is skilled in this area? Any recommendations?
How would the first session even start if you don't necessarily have an issue to talk about? Is the idea that you start by talking about your relationships in general and that can lead to mentioning some concerns either of you have? 🤔
Allison's long suffering look every time one of John and Gabe's chaotic ideas come up gets me every time🤣 anyways love your insights and excited to read your book!
JOHN AND GABE ADVENTURE WHEN - g
@@JustBetweenUs I'M WAITING FOR THE BOAT
John’s “I don’t know, you got problems” 😂
Thank you so much for posting this! My partner and I are planning to go to couples therapy, and I’ve felt really embarrassed telling people because of the assumptions they make about us and our relationship (that we’re on the rocks, having huge issues, etc). Thanks for normalizing going to couples therapy even when it’s not a “dire” situation.
i really appreciate you making this because it changed my pov on the whole topic.
I grew up with parents who had an extremely volatile and toxic relationship and they were always in and out of counseling (important note that it was counseling provided by our church and the counselor was NOT a professional in any capacity lmfao which I didn't realize until I was much older). anyway, I think even though I'm such a fan of therapy for myself I was holding onto some negative connotations with couples therapy because Ive never seen it actually be helpful. this video has really shifted things for me. luckily I'm not in a relationship rn so i have more time to further look into this should i need it but your case was convincing!!!
also the idea of marrying another nervous system...wow. well put joan
you two are wonderful together
John’s little sassy dance when he said “they do pull ups together” 😂😂
Came here to say this same thing 😂 he ain't going to the woods hahaha
He was channeling Tom Harlowe 100% with that little shimmy lol
"activated" took me back to Truth or Truth 😂
❤😭
It's so uplifting to see how these two make each other laugh. They should re-name the channel to "Just Between Freudenfreude".
Somehow my head leapt to "International husband, international husband"!
Really hoping we get footage of Gabe and John's macho trip in a Patreon exclusive video. 😆
This is so interesting because I'm Irish and it's very traditional in Catholicism to do a pre martial course with a priest coming up to your wedding which a lot of my family members did (which is crazy, priests are not allowed have relationships or get married but i digress) But the thought of having pre marriage counselling with a licenced therapist is such a good idea
@@paperhatable What did the priests tell them during the pre-marital course?
Except no religious authority has training in counseling, mental health or psychology. They are talking to people with an agenda to make the relationship follow the religious rules and never get divorced bc it’s a sin. It has nothing to do with the actual marriage people in it. It’s about control.
This is also normative in Christianity and its offshoots.
It's not run by a priest, as least not in Canada. I went to Catholic marriage prep and it there was a licensed psychologist and a financial planner.
my wife and i did premarital couples counseling, but it was part of getting married, our officiant insisted on it and she was really good at it. we also did couples counseling which was kinda terrible at a low point in our marriage, but it was less than five sessions. it served to unite us in hating the counseling. 20 years in, i feel like going to counseling is a good call and if you can proactively go to counseling before a transition hits (getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc), it'll work a lot better.
I just started going with my partner! We’re doing it, like yall, when we’re not in crisis. I have found it difficult to tell other people we’re doing it though. I think there’s some stigma around being in couples therapy (like ohhhh you guys are gonna break up) and then while I explain that we’re doing it while things are good to chat about marriage and that kind of stuff people are like “pshh you can’t just do that on your own” which is odd. You can’t win in some ways!
Witnessing a healthy couple fills me with so much hope and so much joy 🥲 I'm wishing the best for both of you 🌺
In a throuple with a poodle 😂😂
My partner and I plan to get married in three years and I've broached the subject of pre-marital counselling and pre-nups. We're both on board and I'm kind of excited for when we start because they're both new experiences and opportunities to learn about each other, as well as make sure our ducks are in a row pre-marriage.
when you guys were talking about doing something similar in a nontherapy setting, it reminded me of having relationship check-ins. i'm not sure how common/well known these are for monogamous couples (i learned about it from multiamory podcast when i was in a throuple), but its really great to have regular, slightly structured check-ins. i wanna try couples therapy too tho :3
My girlfriend and I do this on our monthiversary! We call it "girlfriend review" (positive) and its just us checking in, remembering some of our favorite parts of the month. In the beginning we would be more structured and ask questions like "is there anything that hurt your feelings that feels unresolved?" "What were your favorite parts of the month/what did you feel we struggled with?" etc, but now 1.5 years in we just flow into the convo. The crux is that we do this because we love each other and love us as a couple, we've never used this "review" as a way to critisize or judge one another, and when there are bigger squabbles we talk it out in the moment- but the review is a nice way to check back on those moments and notice if they're really put to rest.
That being said I would like to do couples therapy if we decide to cohabitate/get married because it sounds amazing. To get my body accustomed to regulating around my partner and vice versa seems like a dream, if it isnt happening already. 💜
Allison! I can’t believe you didn’t take the opportunity to say “if therapy isnt accessible you can GO THROUGH MY BOOK and ask the questions I list at the end of each chapter of the book with your partner.” Gotta SELL BABY!
insurance can cover it often, actually! it varies a lot by state and by insurance provider and specific plan benefits
thought this was about the macho man retreat at first 😂
Gabe and John should just split the cost of the dude camp!!!
Absolutely love this episode!!! It felt good to watch and maybe my partner and I will be able to do couples therapy one day!❤Also some non-profit counseling centers will have discounted or free couples therapy with therapist trainees or even associates/licensed therapists! I have a traineeship at one in California that is free for families and couples :)
talk about your "start up ideas" LOL
You totally talk to me into couples therapy. You guys are adorable.😊
I would love a vlog of John and Gabe at a macho man retreat
so funny that you didn't use the music
incredible
Wow. This was so good.
Allison, if I'm looking to try couples counselling to learn about this 'nervous system regulation', how do I go about finding a counsellor who is skilled in this area? Any recommendations?
You should give your husband also shoutouts for hes job
🤍🤍🤍
Nice!
How would the first session even start if you don't necessarily have an issue to talk about? Is the idea that you start by talking about your relationships in general and that can lead to mentioning some concerns either of you have? 🤔
You guys talks about couples counseling the way my bf and I talk about taking MDMA 😂
aimentalhealthadvisor AI fixes this. Couples Therapy Highly Recommended: Book