JUSTICE FOR DANIEL ROBINSON PETITION: www.change.org/p/buckeye-arizona-police-department-justice-for-daniel-robinson PLEASE HELP FIND DANIEL: pleasehelpfinddaniel.com/ YA WANT SOME MERCH? You can buy it here 🥳 represent.com/store/b-haney SEND ME AN EMAIL💛 (content suggestions or to share your story) hihoneyyt@gmail.com
i get that admitting that your marriage is on the rocks is hard enough to do on its own, let alone for the public, but it’s the fact that they held marriage-centric events in which their only alleged credential to do so was having a good marriage themselves. as someone looking to become a licensed psychologist, it really rubs me the wrong way. i can’t imagine the damage that those conferences had the potential to do.
I remember years ago I had my husband listen to a Rachel and Dave podcast because I thought it was good. And after it was over, he was like “their advice is to make out a lot? That’s a crock of crap. I bet they’ll be divorced in a few years.” And my husband is really wise and so then I started listening with his perspective and within a few more episodes, I was done. They did know how to sell it though to people who couldn’t see through it!
As the female breadwinner I find their dynamic fascinating. I get what Rachel’s saying about being the one to take care of everything and I have a very hands on husband. But on some level I still feel he’s helping me out even though it’s his family too! I also have been with my husband since I was 19 and he was 23. I have a feeling Dave was checked out of the family often. He seems to not be bonded well with his children.
you can tell how "not natural" his interactions with his children. are, and apparently, just a personal opinion, he is much more positive and comfortable with boys. With Noah, he's clueless.
@@kittymervine6115 I think part of it is that Noah was spotted. It's a little harder to bond with an adopted baby. But I agree it's very unnatural and weird
Seems to me, that for a male dad, he got along well and naturally with all his kids. He's sort of childlike himself in a selfish way. So he spoke to them on their level. A lot of dad's I knew growing up would have yelled harshly at their kids if we kept pestering them while they were working. Working, like he was doing on the back porch.
God I'm so sick of hearing her or other people talk about getting up at 4am. Like she herself said, everyone gets the same 24 hours. It doesn't matter when you get up, your day is still 24 hours long. If you get up at 4am, you go to bed at like 8pm, so you don't have an evening, and probably less of a social life. You are not inherently better for getting up early, do it if it suits you and helps you to get things done, but I, as a single student in a one bedroom apartment don't need to. I see why parents feel the need, they want to take advantage of the quiet time before the kids wake up. At the end of the day it depends on your body and lifestyle. Nightowls aren't lazy their brain just functions best at night.
This. I get up at 4:30 because I’m a morning person and little kids so I get up before them. One of my best friends is the most accomplished person I know and she does her best stuff from like 8pm-2am.
I can't forgive her or believe anything she says until she addresses how she misled her followers STRAIGHT UP. Not just dribble out little vague things here and there. I think everyone deserves an explanation if she still wants to work in this field. She's already calling Dave out...so why not be honest. I think it's because she doesn't want to admit that she played a big role. That's just my 2cents. Great video as always!
Absolutely. I feel bad for how it appears she was treated in her marriage but that definitely doesn’t excuse the bad acts that she has committed. Honestly I think it would be really refreshing if she did come out and admit to all of the misleading things that she did. I’d love to see her own it in order to move forward because I do think she meant something to a lot of people. Also I’m watching your live about Dave quitting the internet right now 😂 I just finished editing my video about his post and I always wait until I’m done with my video to watch any other videos on the same topic. Your breakdown of his post is so good!
She should come out and say. "Hey girls. I'm the snake oil salesman everyone has been telling us women about for millennia. But ya'll need to be led and sold and hugged so badly that ya'll can't help yourselves can you. Always following the leader. And the $$$ I'd call you gullible but that would be sexist. Anyway, sorry gals. But hey, chalk it up to a "learning experience". I did you a favor. So, not sorry. Maybe because of me you'll see the next snake oil honey coming before they can do you any harm. But we both know you'll never learn. And your daughters will be just like you. By then the sheep will have changed its clothing, but will still be a wolf. As long as the wolf is relatable, sheds tears at the right moments, talks of independence and success, but also God and meditation. Has the right stories and conveys them in that quirky "funny" girl way. Your daughters are going to fall for it just as hard as ya'll did."@@BHaney
I think every woman can relate to how toxic masculinity and misogyny creates a tightrope for women to walk. You have to be pretty but not too pretty; you have to be sexy but pure, etc. I thought about that when Rachel was talking about Dave wanting the girl he married. It seems like he was cool with her having goals and being independent but was not cool with her being more recognized or pawerful than him (see Dave needing to be CEO of Rachel's company). It was ok for her to be successful, but she became TOO successful.
YES, his CEO excuse, why I have to be CEO. As the mother of two strong daughters, I felt ill. My eldest daughter has her PhD. She earns more. Her husband was joking "My family always wanted a doctor in the family!" So supportive, primary caregiver, but also works.. Honestly, he's very happy about the lifestyle they have, but they both share ideologies about how many should be spend, and childrearing. Very humble and very much pro the best education possible for children. If men could get over the "I have to be the main provider" and know most women are open, far more than men, to a partnership.
He was CEO for her because he understood the behind the scenes running of a business. She did not and did not want to do it. He had the background for it. Maybe he wasn't bothered by her success, so much as how it started to obsess her. Who knows. Not my kind of people.
If anyone down here is going through a divorce and found that some of the things Rachel said here hit you like a ton of bricks I’m sending you an internet hug. I’m mid divorce and it’s hard to describe how devastating of an experience it is. I hope she talks about it more because sharing that experience could actually help women for real.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a divorce 💛 I am wishing you so much comfort and strength throughout this process. I agree that she could actually help a lot of people if she continues to open up about this. I think she has a lot of work to do to regain the trust of her audience and this could be a good step forward.
While I feel bad for the situation…. Maybe if your marriage is sh*t, don’t throw conferences on how to have a perfect marriage and make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I think she is a fraud. That video that came out about her not being relatable was the real Rachel, IMO. Maybe Dave didn’t like the fake life? Idk.
What I find fascinating as this whole saga unfolds is the timing of Rachel making these statements. She knew where Dave was and why. She knew the retreat/conference he had planned was coming up in just a matter of days. And she chose this moment to publicly expose him. Interesting. Both Hollis parents, though, need to stop publicly throwing each other under the bus. That kind of behavior is so damaging to their kids.
Exactly. I know sometimes horrible things happen that make it impossible, but if it’s a more typical ‘just didn’t work out’ divorce and you have kids, suck it up and act like grownups.
Having watched him rant on about his $18 dollar book, while ignoring his kids, I don't blame her. As the principle earner, he will have benefited from her earning power.
why has she not addressed the facade she was putting on when putting on marriage conferences and charging thousands while her marriage was crumbling? does she think that was ok?
i completely understand what rachel is saying about the truth not being enough to break you but the lying was, i was with a narcissist for 15 years and i took A LOT but as soon as i found out after EVERYTHING i put myself through to make him happy, i still wasnt even worth the truth, thats when i was fully done, honestly as sad as it is i would have probably just put up with him because i loved him but it took realizing he wasnt being honest in black and white to finally wake me up and make me realize just how toxic the relationship was and how unhappy i was and that i was just kiddint myself thinking he actually cared about everything i did for him when he doesnt even care about me not looking like a complete idiot 🤷🏻♀️ i do not excuse her actions in her career but i can truly empathize and relate to her personal issues with her ex 🥺
Man!!! This hit home. It made me cry. I was trying soooo hard to hold on to a marriage that didn’t exist. I was taking care of everyone and everything. I got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. And THEN I walked away. I just was sooo broken.
I get what you're saying when you compare Rachel's divorce and leaving situation to others. And she is lucky. But at the same time, I think she's allowed to feel like it was the worst thing ever for her, and saying how dare she complain, isn't fair to her experience. Just because her experience wasn't as bad as others, doesn't mean it's not valid. The worst thing you've been through is the worst thing you've been through. And two months may not be long to some people, but I think she's allowed to talk about how she felt about it. Especially since she does acknowledges her privilege of being financially independent. And this is coming from someone who does not at all like Rachel.
I agree. Plus I think that bringing the "truth" out into the open in a relationship (as in, naming the issues and saying you want a divorce) after many years - and then having to stay in the home together, with your kids - must be horrible for anybody. A different type of horrible vs not being able to leave (not worse, just a different thing she's referring to). I'm not saying Rachel is without blame or blindspots. I can just imagine that it sucks during that "immediate aftermath" period that she's referring to, when it's all out in the open.
I'm not a big Hollis fan, but the idea that they were holding marriage conferences whilst their own marriage was on the rocks... you weren't even happy in your own marriage, what did you think you could offer other couples??
I hate to admit it, but for the most part I completely understand and relate to what Rachel is saying. I literally just got out of a similar relationship. Different events and situations, but similar. I am now in a relationship with a man that is the exact opposite of my ex. He is everything that my ex is not. We don’t even have to try to make the relationship work. It just works. We click. We got together like puzzle pieces.
So glad you’re in a relationship that’s a great fit! And it’s definitely a weird feeling to be agreeing with Rachel, but I’m glad she’s putting something out into the world that’s actually relatable!
I keep it real. I am a real relationship coach and my wife and I just celebrated 20 years of a happy marriage. 1 CRITICAL seldom known fact that I teach is this. This is the reason you or Rachel can’t judge your current relationship by your current one. It doesn’t matter if your new partner is opposite or not. Here’s what you all of us need to know because God’s people are being destroyed for lack of knowledge. Here it is: There 3 stages of romantic love. 1. In love. 2. Intentional love and 3. In depth love. Stage 1 takes no effort. Your emotions and chemistry drive you together like a drug you can’t get enough of. Unfortunately that feeling of Euphoria only lasts 2years on Average. Too many people think it will last forever. It’s like going in a paddle boat that takes you right where you want to go. Your desire is for the person. When it fades your natural inner desires return and if you don’t learn how to INTENTIONALLY speak the love language of your spouse you will never reach the third stage of In depth love which is a result of knowledge and intentionally filling someone love bank.
She was 19 when she met him. He was the first major adult relationship she knew so sometimes you think toxic stuff is normal at that age due to lack of life experience.
I only really know about Rachel from post- “toilet gate” coverage and have always found her kind of irritating and full of very surface level pop psychology but there were a couple of points here that came across as genuinely powerful and different to her usual slightly fake and manic persona. They actually struck a cord and helped me see why people might be drawn to her content.
That’s the thing about her. She is 80% genuinely terrible but sometimes in that gray area you just wanna gratitude hug her. She isn’t relatable though, let’s just remember that. 😂 ;)
I agree. I think Rachels sole accomplishment is monetizing ambition while selling insecurities back to people and I find it appalling they each make public comments about the other but I finally saw what is actually appealing about her. It’s just a glimpse - she can’t sustain honesty - but I see her differently.
I am not surprised that Dave’s ego was a big issue in their marriage. It was an issue when they were dating too 😒 Some men make their partners responsible for making them feel “manly.” That’s an internal struggle *they* need to work on, and honestly I don’t think it’s something partners can ever genuinely fix. If they feel insecure they need to go to therapy and not put that on their grown partner who’s dealing with their own shit.
I’m interested in your perspective on public figures especially because you’re always respectful of the stresses & intentions of the people you talk about. I am so glad I found this channel ❤️
I am sorry but as a Christian, I cannot help to wonder did she misinterpreted the unequally yoke part? That portion is about believers and unbelievers. But God didn’t intend divorce as a condition/motive for that verse. I don’t mean to condemn divorce or anything such. I understand divorce can be really hard decisions, and have great impact on the people affected. I just felt uncomfortable when people anyhow quote the bible and take away context and use for their points.
He and the current woman he is with act as if they are on coke. That’s my opinion, I think we will all find out soon what this “secret life” business is all about, but drug use is my guess.
I wasn’t even thinking substance abuse when I saw that video of Dave… I was thinking something more mental health related… his train of thought/speech seemed kind of manic to me. I have bipolar II and I’m pretty self aware, so it’s become easy for me to pick out if that makes sense. However, I do acknowledge that kind of behavior could also be caused by substance abuse. Either way, hiding either of those things from your spouse is not cool obviously.
I see myself in Holly....when you’re in it it is sooooooo difficult to #1 accept what’s happening, #2 accepting the failure and #3 taking the step to get out of the relationship and demonstrate to others it was a failure...it’s hard!
I dislike Rachel, but I believe her. I think saying “if you don’t work on yourself we won’t be together in 2 years” that is her saying “I’m scared where this could lead”, not “I see us divorcing”. I think she found out something that was a deal breaker and immediately ended it. Second family, substance problem, who knows - but I think it was an immediate end for her
Alcoholism & Mental Illness for suuure. He is not well and I'd hate to be with someone so unstable. _(I think Bipolar Disorder, with manic episodes - he's even talked about hearing voices in one interview??)_
The lies are often the last straw. Because you spent years questioning your sanity. To find out that you were being lied to all along and that your trust was being violated is devastating.
Basically during the pandemic those two malignant narcissists, didn’t get enough supply from the public, and their ‘baby’ the whole business they have wasn’t really ‘growing’.
I'm not a fan of Rachel or many of the things she's said and done, but I really like her reflections about her marriage in this case, and I bet it helped some of her listeners.
I never really liked her work and never paid a dime for it. But I like how balanced your perspective is in this video. One thing I’m observing about her is that Rachel seems to put up a defensive front instead of being humbly honest. I’m not saying she’s hostile all the time. I’m just saying the way she gets manic or upset when she articulates her feelings shows me that she’s probably not discovered safety in honesty. Needless to say, they both messed up big time. Doesn’t matter who’s more in the wrong. They did it together. They both should own it.
In a long marriage, if someone’s brain switches from 0% divorce to 100% divorce in one day and there hasn’t been any significant new information in that day, that seems like extreme impulsivity or maybe a personality disorder. I’m not doing amateur diagnosis because I think she’s just strategically fibbing to make it seem less like she was taking marriage conference money under false pretenses.
I don't think it's about being "small" or not - I think it's that some partners confuse safety, loyalty, trust, and love with ease, agreement, and blind alliance. They expect their partners to share their emotions and reactions to the world 100% of time. When a partner doesn't, they feel "unsupported" or "unloved." Then, you find yourself holding back opinions or natural reactions attempting to create their version of "safety" and "love". Worst of all, that version of love hinders personal growth. If you always feel vindicated and validity in EVERY interaction and all your actions, there is no reason to change, no reason to question your assumptions, etc.
While I personally prefer Rachel's interpretation, that isn't what the "unequally yoked" verse is about, lol. It's referencing how a Christian should never be married to a non-Christian. Yikes all around.
I believe her in not thinking about it until she announced it to Dave because I'm the same type of person. I'll take very intense life changing decisions in a single day because once I've realized something is an option not doing it feels painful. I need to do it NOW. So I'll spend a few weeks thinking "ha I wish I could change job but it's not really an option..." and then one day think "Oh I really should actually" and I give my notice right away without rethinking it.
I have a weird suspension it’s porn. The only reason I say that is bc a lot of marriages are either pro or con to porn and the fact that she said he was hiding it and it wasn’t the act but the lie that makes me think it’s not cheating or anything like that but something they agreed was a no go in their marriage yet he was doing it behind her back.
I get that a lot if the issues brought up are typical ‘male gender role’ issues, but it sounds like it goes much deeper than that. I think it’s naive to blame gender roles for Dave’s (alleged) behavior. Yes, men are taught to hide their emotions from a young age, but if you have a partner who is open, supportive, and encourages you to share your emotions, then it’s your responsibility to work towards doing that. You can’t just use the excuse of ‘I’m not supposed to share my emotions’ because that’s not the situation anymore. It sounds like he is a very controlling person and I don’t think we should continue to make excuses for that behavior.
I’m so far beyond having any sympathy for her. Yes it sucks to have a bad marriage, but while she admits her marriage was bad, she made millions for years off of lying about how great her marriage was. why does she expect people to not remember that?
He is a narcissist she is a narcissist so only room for 1!!! Please look into the saccone jolys I asked. The way they are launching a book this week about how he couldn’t feel like a girl ebeb though he’s a man and says he’s a man! It’s such a deep dive!
TOTALLY agree with you that women are expected to be the emotional caretakers of their families. I had to leave my husband when my son was 3. I couldn't help him process getting off of the drugs and he flat out refused to go to therapy. He did, however, insist that we needed marriage counseling because his drug abuse wasn't the real problem!
A few days ago, after more than 2 months of Dave’s passing, the results of the autopsy showed that he died from an accidental overdose (alcohol, fentanyl and cocaine) he also had some heart issues which made this a lethal combination.😢
Just some thoughts on the whole “staying together for the kids” idea. In my opinion, it’s horrible for everyone involved: parents and kids. (I’m speaking from a lot of experience, lol.) It is way better, 99% of the time, to work on co-parenting and redefining your relationship, rather than delaying the inevitable split. I mean, if you’ve tried everything to make it work, and nothing did… You’re basically just pretending there’s a marriage because it’s “better for your kids”, that’s an awful situation for everyone. Like don’t “try” to hold it together for years, and then be surprised when your kids have issues/problems. Also, I feel like people generally underestimate how much children and teens understand and perceive. And I really feel awful for the kids in this situation, I cannot imagine having so much of my life being shared on social media. Like that must really change the dynamic of a family, if your relationships are often used for content. (Oops, sorry for the rant!)
We don't know WHAT was wrong with Dave on the patio of peace, people can think drugs, drinking, mental health (truly not his fault if that is the issue, but he needs to get help not ignore this). I was anti Dave with his explanation about WHY he had to be CEO. A lot of women were "OMG!" Because it would be like him going to Disney and saying "You know, take that statue of Walt Disney down and put one up of me."
It's not that he wanted a "little girl" forever thrilled about marriage. Rather, it sounds like he wanted a traditional marriage. And she wanted to vigorously pursue her career. 15:15
This is sort of adjacent to the main points here, but especially in Christian circles, someone who’s long-suffering is viewed as particularly noble. They made a commitment & they “honor” that by pushing through untenable circumstances even if they’re miserable. I hear far too often that marriage “isn’t about you” (the general “you”). Except… it absolutely is. If you’re only operating out of meeting the needs of someone else & there’s no reciprocity, you’re effectively screwed. You still have to look out for you, even if your partner does. And especially if your partner doesn’t.
Bee- love you but am surprised that you are taking Rachel at her word. She’s proven herself to be duplicitous over and over again. She hurts women because her confidence is misplaced. She assigns the narrow syllabus of her experience as a roadmap for everyone else to follow and that does major damage. She hurts the cause of women by caring more about how she is perceived and envied than about pointing women toward actual actionable resources.
And to me the timing of these "revelations" is a bit suspect to me...she decided to speak on these issues right before his men's conference, not that I think it would have been a success, but it feels kinda like she intentionally sabotaged it.
@@Chris-qf5do She intentionally outed that he was in rehab. Reddit suspected, then she posted these podcasts basically confirming those suspicions and turning the small Reddit spark into a social media BLAZE, forcing Dave to admit where he was. It was highly intentional.
@@juliasugarbaker3859 There's a reddit for him?! I don't know why I never thought that there would be! I'm going to find it and read (and snark) as soon as my kids go to bed! Lol, thanks for letting me know :)
I dislike Rachel Hollis and think her books and retreats and conferences are garbage. BUT I absolutely think leaving Dave was the best decision for their family.
How you or people in general can affirm that’s the big reason she was so successful is thanks to Daves position or funding?Maybe she could made it without been married to him, because she have the drive, the view, the exposure on social media.. i don’t know…not a fan of none of them, but I dnt understand why people wants to give him so much credit..
YIKES. 27 year old marrying a 19 year old… That’s really the only explanation I need to understand why they divorced. That age gap is totally fine for people over 25, but if one party is under 25, that’s straight predatory. No convincing me otherwise.
Ya...She isn't my cup of tea. Divorces are always 50/50 or even 100/100. The blame game isn't a good look for either of them. I don't and won't listen to either of them again. There are too many amazing, positive, dynamic people to listen to.
Also men that won't admit they need help, and ask for help from their partner (or women). Even if they WANT to be there for YOU. Heidi is interesting, but she is able to be a sort. of sex symbol and cheerleader for him. She may be the right woman for him, and to help him through whatever it is....if she is good for Dave and Heidi.
Ugh. I can't see why anyone would take advice from either of them. They need to receive advice, not dispense it. And they put themselves out there as Christians? They were obviously all about the money.
Wowwwww...dave trying to guilt his subscribers into buying his book?! I don't know much about him but if anyone uses guilt to persuade someone to buy their book in order to supposedly encourage and motivate them that's a no for me.
He was funding her programs..it is obvious he had a drinking problem..I feel Heidi exhausts Dave.. I was married for 20 years.. when all signs lead to you need to go..you need to go...
Yikes - she completely misunderstood the unequally yoked passage! That's about believers not partnering with unbelievers (and not just in marriage). Her pathetic rationale is that if you don't "grow" (super vague and malleable term) at the same pace then it is ok to divorce. What nonsense! The Bible never even hints at that. One more reason to ignore them both.
Let me punch some holes in your sexist soliliquy; 1. A woman can charge whatever she wants for her services, and just because it's a lot does not make it a "scam". She's not selling cigarettes to toddlers. Consenting adults participated. 2. Just because her marriage didn't work out does not mean she didn't have valuable lessons or relationship advice And 3. You literally just said that she succeeded because of her husband. No. She had financial support from her husband, certainly, but Rachel achieved her fame and created her company through her own hard work. She's not perfect, like the rest of us, but she is doing her best and has helped a lot of people and that should'nt be diminished just because of a relationship not working out. That is just life; it happens. People grow apart or need different things later down the road. Of course she's not going to air her dirty laundry in front of millions of people while in the thick of it. That doesn't make her a fraud. Especially when it sounds like the marriage ended because of her HUSBAND lying. She had no control over that. Sounds like Dave is the fraud. Where's the video about Dave? Oh wait there isn't one because our society puts all the blame and focus for things not working out on women. This video is total BS. I suggest you take a hard look at your own internalized misogyny.
so two months of hell is nothing🤷🏾 ..Let not judge each other levels of pain ..If we were to do that I would render your chAnnel pointless simply because I'm a black woman and you are not ..But I don't play that game ..
Your analogy of Breadwinner was not correct. Actually, you used it incorrectly. If she was the initial breadwinner, it would fit but it doesn’t. You tried. Your review is mediocre at best. I don’t think you are old enough to be reviewing someone’s marriage. Do you even have children?
JUSTICE FOR DANIEL ROBINSON PETITION: www.change.org/p/buckeye-arizona-police-department-justice-for-daniel-robinson
PLEASE HELP FIND DANIEL: pleasehelpfinddaniel.com/
YA WANT SOME MERCH? You can buy it here 🥳
represent.com/store/b-haney
SEND ME AN EMAIL💛 (content suggestions or to share your story)
hihoneyyt@gmail.com
I signed the petition. Such a sad story. I hope his parents can learn the truth.
Thanks for providing the link and supporting his family.
@@bbe3034 : Me too.
i get that admitting that your marriage is on the rocks is hard enough to do on its own, let alone for the public, but it’s the fact that they held marriage-centric events in which their only alleged credential to do so was having a good marriage themselves. as someone looking to become a licensed psychologist, it really rubs me the wrong way. i can’t imagine the damage that those conferences had the potential to do.
I remember years ago I had my husband listen to a Rachel and Dave podcast because I thought it was good. And after it was over, he was like “their advice is to make out a lot? That’s a crock of crap. I bet they’ll be divorced in a few years.” And my husband is really wise and so then I started listening with his perspective and within a few more episodes, I was done. They did know how to sell it though to people who couldn’t see through it!
Cool husband ! 🥰
As the female breadwinner I find their dynamic fascinating. I get what Rachel’s saying about being the one to take care of everything and I have a very hands on husband. But on some level I still feel he’s helping me out even though it’s his family too! I also have been with my husband since I was 19 and he was 23. I have a feeling Dave was checked out of the family often. He seems to not be bonded well with his children.
you can tell how "not natural" his interactions with his children. are, and apparently, just a personal opinion, he is much more positive and comfortable with boys. With Noah, he's clueless.
@@kittymervine6115 I think part of it is that Noah was spotted. It's a little harder to bond with an adopted baby. But I agree it's very unnatural and weird
Seems to me, that for a male dad, he got along well and naturally with all his kids. He's sort of childlike himself in a selfish way. So he spoke to them on their level. A lot of dad's I knew growing up would have yelled harshly at their kids if we kept pestering them while they were working. Working, like he was doing on the back porch.
God I'm so sick of hearing her or other people talk about getting up at 4am. Like she herself said, everyone gets the same 24 hours. It doesn't matter when you get up, your day is still 24 hours long. If you get up at 4am, you go to bed at like 8pm, so you don't have an evening, and probably less of a social life. You are not inherently better for getting up early, do it if it suits you and helps you to get things done, but I, as a single student in a one bedroom apartment don't need to. I see why parents feel the need, they want to take advantage of the quiet time before the kids wake up. At the end of the day it depends on your body and lifestyle. Nightowls aren't lazy their brain just functions best at night.
Yes!!! Its just shifting your "active" time window.
Bingo
I get to sleep at 4am if im lucky. Insomnia and a night owl. I feel more depressed when im awake before midday.
This. I get up at 4:30 because I’m a morning person and little kids so I get up before them. One of my best friends is the most accomplished person I know and she does her best stuff from like 8pm-2am.
🙌
I can't forgive her or believe anything she says until she addresses how she misled her followers STRAIGHT UP. Not just dribble out little vague things here and there. I think everyone deserves an explanation if she still wants to work in this field. She's already calling Dave out...so why not be honest. I think it's because she doesn't want to admit that she played a big role. That's just my 2cents. Great video as always!
Absolutely. I feel bad for how it appears she was treated in her marriage but that definitely doesn’t excuse the bad acts that she has committed. Honestly I think it would be really refreshing if she did come out and admit to all of the misleading things that she did. I’d love to see her own it in order to move forward because I do think she meant something to a lot of people.
Also I’m watching your live about Dave quitting the internet right now 😂 I just finished editing my video about his post and I always wait until I’m done with my video to watch any other videos on the same topic. Your breakdown of his post is so good!
I agree with you, 100%. She showed her colors and it turns out she’s an elitist and a scam artist. And honestly - a mean girl stereotype.
Rachel is always quick to hold others accountable but has yet to take any responsibility for herself.
She should come out and say. "Hey girls. I'm the snake oil salesman everyone has been telling us women about for millennia. But ya'll need to be led and sold and hugged so badly that ya'll can't help yourselves can you. Always following the leader. And the $$$
I'd call you gullible but that would be sexist. Anyway, sorry gals. But hey, chalk it up to a "learning experience". I did you a favor. So, not sorry. Maybe because of me you'll see the next snake oil honey coming before they can do you any harm. But we both know you'll never learn. And your daughters will be just like you. By then the sheep will have changed its clothing, but will still be a wolf. As long as the wolf is relatable, sheds tears at the right moments, talks of independence and success, but also God and meditation. Has the right stories and conveys them in that quirky "funny" girl way. Your daughters are going to fall for it just as hard as ya'll did."@@BHaney
@@Gumbyloomy What did I say? I don't see a comment from me.
I think every woman can relate to how toxic masculinity and misogyny creates a tightrope for women to walk. You have to be pretty but not too pretty; you have to be sexy but pure, etc. I thought about that when Rachel was talking about Dave wanting the girl he married. It seems like he was cool with her having goals and being independent but was not cool with her being more recognized or pawerful than him (see Dave needing to be CEO of Rachel's company). It was ok for her to be successful, but she became TOO successful.
YES, his CEO excuse, why I have to be CEO. As the mother of two strong daughters, I felt ill. My eldest daughter has her PhD. She earns more. Her husband was joking "My family always wanted a doctor in the family!" So supportive, primary caregiver, but also works.. Honestly, he's very happy about the lifestyle they have, but they both share ideologies about how many should be spend, and childrearing. Very humble and very much pro the best education possible for children. If men could get over the "I have to be the main provider" and know most women are open, far more than men, to a partnership.
He thinks it's cute for her to have goals but not to achieve them.
ThATS BS IF THAT WAS WALMART OR AMAZON THEY WOULDA BEEN WENT OUT OF BUSINESS BANKRUPT A LONG LONG TIME AGO TIME
He was CEO for her because he understood the behind the scenes running of a business. She did not and did not want to do it. He had the background for it. Maybe he wasn't bothered by her success, so much as how it started to obsess her. Who knows. Not my kind of people.
If anyone down here is going through a divorce and found that some of the things Rachel said here hit you like a ton of bricks I’m sending you an internet hug. I’m mid divorce and it’s hard to describe how devastating of an experience it is. I hope she talks about it more because sharing that experience could actually help women for real.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a divorce 💛 I am wishing you so much comfort and strength throughout this process. I agree that she could actually help a lot of people if she continues to open up about this. I think she has a lot of work to do to regain the trust of her audience and this could be a good step forward.
@@BHaney 💕 thank you for the kind words!
Sending you an internet too 💛
@@juliagulia9224 awwwe thanks this made me smile ❤️
Hope you are doing ok 😿
While I feel bad for the situation…. Maybe if your marriage is sh*t, don’t throw conferences on how to have a perfect marriage and make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I think she is a fraud. That video that came out about her not being relatable was the real Rachel, IMO. Maybe Dave didn’t like the fake life? Idk.
What I find fascinating as this whole saga unfolds is the timing of Rachel making these statements. She knew where Dave was and why. She knew the retreat/conference he had planned was coming up in just a matter of days. And she chose this moment to publicly expose him. Interesting.
Both Hollis parents, though, need to stop publicly throwing each other under the bus. That kind of behavior is so damaging to their kids.
Yes!
or it could also be that Dave told her to do this so he can have a reason to cancel that men conf that was coming up. sorry they both are scammers.
@@jpt610 Who knows. I would believe almost anything with those two.
Exactly. I know sometimes horrible things happen that make it impossible, but if it’s a more typical ‘just didn’t work out’ divorce and you have kids, suck it up and act like grownups.
Yes. She’s not a good person. At all.
Having watched him rant on about his $18 dollar book, while ignoring his kids, I don't blame her. As the principle earner, he will have benefited from her earning power.
why has she not addressed the facade she was putting on when putting on marriage conferences and charging thousands while her marriage was crumbling? does she think that was ok?
i completely understand what rachel is saying about the truth not being enough to break you but the lying was, i was with a narcissist for 15 years and i took A LOT but as soon as i found out after EVERYTHING i put myself through to make him happy, i still wasnt even worth the truth, thats when i was fully done, honestly as sad as it is i would have probably just put up with him because i loved him but it took realizing he wasnt being honest in black and white to finally wake me up and make me realize just how toxic the relationship was and how unhappy i was and that i was just kiddint myself thinking he actually cared about everything i did for him when he doesnt even care about me not looking like a complete idiot 🤷🏻♀️ i do not excuse her actions in her career but i can truly empathize and relate to her personal issues with her ex 🥺
my goodness, I am so glad you got out of that relationship. I hope you are much happier now 💛
This video hits different in April 2023...
Man!!! This hit home. It made me cry. I was trying soooo hard to hold on to a marriage that didn’t exist. I was taking care of everyone and everything. I got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. And THEN I walked away. I just was sooo broken.
I'm so sorry! And I hope you are in better health now 🙏
@@kelleyreeves965 I am. Thanks
so glad to hear you are in better health💛
Wow! Incredible! You had cancer and still left
@@alicelong3613 I just couldn’t handle being around him.
I get what you're saying when you compare Rachel's divorce and leaving situation to others. And she is lucky. But at the same time, I think she's allowed to feel like it was the worst thing ever for her, and saying how dare she complain, isn't fair to her experience. Just because her experience wasn't as bad as others, doesn't mean it's not valid. The worst thing you've been through is the worst thing you've been through. And two months may not be long to some people, but I think she's allowed to talk about how she felt about it. Especially since she does acknowledges her privilege of being financially independent. And this is coming from someone who does not at all like Rachel.
Yeah I agree
I agree. Plus I think that bringing the "truth" out into the open in a relationship (as in, naming the issues and saying you want a divorce) after many years - and then having to stay in the home together, with your kids - must be horrible for anybody. A different type of horrible vs not being able to leave (not worse, just a different thing she's referring to). I'm not saying Rachel is without blame or blindspots. I can just imagine that it sucks during that "immediate aftermath" period that she's referring to, when it's all out in the open.
💯agree
I'm not a big Hollis fan, but the idea that they were holding marriage conferences whilst their own marriage was on the rocks... you weren't even happy in your own marriage, what did you think you could offer other couples??
Right?! It was so deceitful.
They're both terrible people and I feel terrible for their kids who have to listen to all this.
I hate to admit it, but for the most part I completely understand and relate to what Rachel is saying. I literally just got out of a similar relationship. Different events and situations, but similar.
I am now in a relationship with a man that is the exact opposite of my ex. He is everything that my ex is not. We don’t even have to try to make the relationship work. It just works. We click. We got together like puzzle pieces.
So glad you’re in a relationship that’s a great fit! And it’s definitely a weird feeling to be agreeing with Rachel, but I’m glad she’s putting something out into the world that’s actually relatable!
You know what you’re right. It shouldn’t be a huge effort.
I keep it real. I am a real relationship coach and my wife and I just celebrated 20 years of a happy marriage. 1 CRITICAL seldom known fact that I teach is this. This is the reason you or Rachel can’t judge your current relationship by your current one. It doesn’t matter if your new partner is opposite or not. Here’s what you all of us need to know because God’s people are being destroyed for lack of knowledge. Here it is:
There 3 stages of romantic love. 1. In love. 2. Intentional love and 3. In depth love. Stage 1 takes no effort. Your emotions and chemistry drive you together like a drug you can’t get enough of. Unfortunately that feeling of Euphoria only lasts 2years on Average. Too many people think it will last forever. It’s like going in a paddle boat that takes you right where you want to go. Your desire is for the person. When it fades your natural inner desires return and if you don’t learn how to INTENTIONALLY speak the love language of your spouse you will never reach the third stage of In depth love which is a result of knowledge and intentionally filling someone love bank.
Okay in Rachel’s first book she talks about how Dave treated her poorly. Yet she still married him. 🤦🏼♀️
She was 19 when she met him. He was the first major adult relationship she knew so sometimes you think toxic stuff is normal at that age due to lack of life experience.
I only really know about Rachel from post- “toilet gate” coverage and have always found her kind of irritating and full of very surface level pop psychology but there were a couple of points here that came across as genuinely powerful and different to her usual slightly fake and manic persona. They actually struck a cord and helped me see why people might be drawn to her content.
That’s the thing about her. She is 80% genuinely terrible but sometimes in that gray area you just wanna gratitude hug her. She isn’t relatable though, let’s just remember that. 😂 ;)
I agree. I think Rachels sole accomplishment is monetizing ambition while selling insecurities back to people and I find it appalling they each make public comments about the other but I finally saw what is actually appealing about her. It’s just a glimpse - she can’t sustain honesty - but I see her differently.
All these millions of women into self help these past 3 decades would be far better off if they'd just listened to Dr. Laura. For free.
I am not surprised that Dave’s ego was a big issue in their marriage. It was an issue when they were dating too 😒 Some men make their partners responsible for making them feel “manly.” That’s an internal struggle *they* need to work on, and honestly I don’t think it’s something partners can ever genuinely fix. If they feel insecure they need to go to therapy and not put that on their grown partner who’s dealing with their own shit.
I’m interested in your perspective on public figures especially because you’re always respectful of the stresses & intentions of the people you talk about. I am so glad I found this channel ❤️
Thank you so much💛 I am incredibly glad to have you here!
@@BHaney 🥰
The way Rachel is speaking about the marriage, it reminds me of how Kim Kardashian probably felt about her marriage with Kanye.
I am sorry but as a Christian, I cannot help to wonder did she misinterpreted the unequally yoke part? That portion is about believers and unbelievers. But God didn’t intend divorce as a condition/motive for that verse.
I don’t mean to condemn divorce or anything such. I understand divorce can be really hard decisions, and have great impact on the people affected.
I just felt uncomfortable when people anyhow quote the bible and take away context and use for their points.
He and the current woman he is with act as if they are on coke. That’s my opinion, I think we will all find out soon what this “secret life” business is all about, but drug use is my guess.
I wasn’t even thinking substance abuse when I saw that video of Dave… I was thinking something more mental health related… his train of thought/speech seemed kind of manic to me. I have bipolar II and I’m pretty self aware, so it’s become easy for me to pick out if that makes sense. However, I do acknowledge that kind of behavior could also be caused by substance abuse. Either way, hiding either of those things from your spouse is not cool obviously.
I see myself in Holly....when you’re in it it is sooooooo difficult to #1 accept what’s happening, #2 accepting the failure and #3 taking the step to get out of the relationship and demonstrate to others it was a failure...it’s hard!
I dislike Rachel, but I believe her. I think saying “if you don’t work on yourself we won’t be together in 2 years” that is her saying “I’m scared where this could lead”, not “I see us divorcing”. I think she found out something that was a deal breaker and immediately ended it. Second family, substance problem, who knows - but I think it was an immediate end for her
From the video of him promoting his book I think it was the former
Alcoholism & Mental Illness for suuure. He is not well and I'd hate to be with someone so unstable. _(I think Bipolar Disorder, with manic episodes - he's even talked about hearing voices in one interview??)_
The lies are often the last straw. Because you spent years questioning your sanity. To find out that you were being lied to all along and that your trust was being violated is devastating.
Basically during the pandemic those two malignant narcissists, didn’t get enough supply from the public, and their ‘baby’ the whole business they have wasn’t really ‘growing’.
I'm not a fan of Rachel or many of the things she's said and done, but I really like her reflections about her marriage in this case, and I bet it helped some of her listeners.
Agreed. She probably made a lot of people feel more understood/less alone with this podcast episode!
I never really liked her work and never paid a dime for it. But I like how balanced your perspective is in this video. One thing I’m observing about her is that Rachel seems to put up a defensive front instead of being humbly honest. I’m not saying she’s hostile all the time. I’m just saying the way she gets manic or upset when she articulates her feelings shows me that she’s probably not discovered safety in honesty.
Needless to say, they both messed up big time. Doesn’t matter who’s more in the wrong. They did it together. They both should own it.
In a long marriage, if someone’s brain switches from 0% divorce to 100% divorce in one day and there hasn’t been any significant new information in that day, that seems like extreme impulsivity or maybe a personality disorder. I’m not doing amateur diagnosis because I think she’s just strategically fibbing to make it seem less like she was taking marriage conference money under false pretenses.
I don't think it's about being "small" or not - I think it's that some partners confuse safety, loyalty, trust, and love with ease, agreement, and blind alliance. They expect their partners to share their emotions and reactions to the world 100% of time. When a partner doesn't, they feel "unsupported" or "unloved." Then, you find yourself holding back opinions or natural reactions attempting to create their version of "safety" and "love". Worst of all, that version of love hinders personal growth. If you always feel vindicated and validity in EVERY interaction and all your actions, there is no reason to change, no reason to question your assumptions, etc.
While I personally prefer Rachel's interpretation, that isn't what the "unequally yoked" verse is about, lol. It's referencing how a Christian should never be married to a non-Christian. Yikes all around.
I believe her in not thinking about it until she announced it to Dave because I'm the same type of person. I'll take very intense life changing decisions in a single day because once I've realized something is an option not doing it feels painful. I need to do it NOW.
So I'll spend a few weeks thinking "ha I wish I could change job but it's not really an option..." and then one day think "Oh I really should actually" and I give my notice right away without rethinking it.
I love your channel. You have a way of discussing topics in such a mature way. Well done.
Thank you so much💛
I have a weird suspension it’s porn. The only reason I say that is bc a lot of marriages are either pro or con to porn and the fact that she said he was hiding it and it wasn’t the act but the lie that makes me think it’s not cheating or anything like that but something they agreed was a no go in their marriage yet he was doing it behind her back.
I was thinking the same thing
Ooo that’s an interesting take
ko-kane is a hell of a drug
Coked-up Disney Execs, great band name
It is the lies. Not the addiction that hurts the most.
I get that a lot if the issues brought up are typical ‘male gender role’ issues, but it sounds like it goes much deeper than that. I think it’s naive to blame gender roles for Dave’s (alleged) behavior. Yes, men are taught to hide their emotions from a young age, but if you have a partner who is open, supportive, and encourages you to share your emotions, then it’s your responsibility to work towards doing that. You can’t just use the excuse of ‘I’m not supposed to share my emotions’ because that’s not the situation anymore. It sounds like he is a very controlling person and I don’t think we should continue to make excuses for that behavior.
I enjoyed your take on this saga. It was very different than the other persons Ive watched.
Thank you so much!
I clicked so fasssst
I’m so far beyond having any sympathy for her. Yes it sucks to have a bad marriage, but while she admits her marriage was bad, she made millions for years off of lying about how great her marriage was. why does she expect people to not remember that?
New subscriber! Love your work! 😊
Thanks so much for being here!
He is a narcissist she is a narcissist so only room for 1!!! Please look into the saccone jolys I asked. The way they are launching a book this week about how he couldn’t feel like a girl ebeb though he’s a man and says he’s a man! It’s such a deep dive!
TOTALLY agree with you that women are expected to be the emotional caretakers of their families. I had to leave my husband when my son was 3. I couldn't help him process getting off of the drugs and he flat out refused to go to therapy. He did, however, insist that we needed marriage counseling because his drug abuse wasn't the real problem!
A few days ago, after more than 2 months of Dave’s passing, the results of the autopsy showed that he died from an accidental overdose (alcohol, fentanyl and cocaine) he also had some heart issues which made this a lethal combination.😢
Just some thoughts on the whole “staying together for the kids” idea. In my opinion, it’s horrible for everyone involved: parents and kids. (I’m speaking from a lot of experience, lol.) It is way better, 99% of the time, to work on co-parenting and redefining your relationship, rather than delaying the inevitable split. I mean, if you’ve tried everything to make it work, and nothing did… You’re basically just pretending there’s a marriage because it’s “better for your kids”, that’s an awful situation for everyone.
Like don’t “try” to hold it together for years, and then be surprised when your kids have issues/problems.
Also, I feel like people generally underestimate how much children and teens understand and perceive. And I really feel awful for the kids in this situation, I cannot imagine having so much of my life being shared on social media. Like that must really change the dynamic of a family, if your relationships are often used for content.
(Oops, sorry for the rant!)
We don't know WHAT was wrong with Dave on the patio of peace, people can think drugs, drinking, mental health (truly not his fault if that is the issue, but he needs to get help not ignore this). I was anti Dave with his explanation about WHY he had to be CEO. A lot of women were "OMG!" Because it would be like him going to Disney and saying "You know, take that statue of Walt Disney down and put one up of me."
"Why do you even follow me if you don't want to pay me 18 dollars?"
I think part of the problem is how much we/she lies to ourselves.
How can anyone listen to, let alone believe, anything that comes out of their mouths? I’m ready to move on from their saga.
Unevenly yoked refers to Christians marrying non-christians.
No. I think it means her hands go up and down real fast.
14:21 "Poor people who farm, you're like, I got you, Rach." She's obsessed with class.
It's not that he wanted a "little girl" forever thrilled about marriage. Rather, it sounds like he wanted a traditional marriage. And she wanted to vigorously pursue her career. 15:15
it totally reminded me of Kacey Musgraves’ “Breadwinner” too!
Amazing song…terrible real life experience 😂😭
This is sort of adjacent to the main points here, but especially in Christian circles, someone who’s long-suffering is viewed as particularly noble. They made a commitment & they “honor” that by pushing through untenable circumstances even if they’re miserable. I hear far too often that marriage “isn’t about you” (the general “you”). Except… it absolutely is. If you’re only operating out of meeting the needs of someone else & there’s no reciprocity, you’re effectively screwed. You still have to look out for you, even if your partner does. And especially if your partner doesn’t.
Oh word! Lived through that! It has to be balanced for sure!
Rachel talks so damn fast. Slow down sis 🤣🤣
To be fair, I have it on 1.2x speed lol
Was she contractually obligated to go on the marriage tour?
Interesting thought
Oh it’s probably pornography for sure.
Bee- love you but am surprised that you are taking Rachel at her word. She’s proven herself to be duplicitous over and over again. She hurts women because her confidence is misplaced. She assigns the narrow syllabus of her experience as a roadmap for everyone else to follow and that does major damage. She hurts the cause of women by caring more about how she is perceived and envied than about pointing women toward actual actionable resources.
And to me the timing of these "revelations" is a bit suspect to me...she decided to speak on these issues right before his men's conference, not that I think it would have been a success, but it feels kinda like she intentionally sabotaged it.
@@Chris-qf5do She intentionally outed that he was in rehab. Reddit suspected, then she posted these podcasts basically confirming those suspicions and turning the small Reddit spark into a social media BLAZE, forcing Dave to admit where he was. It was highly intentional.
@@juliasugarbaker3859 There's a reddit for him?! I don't know why I never thought that there would be! I'm going to find it and read (and snark) as soon as my kids go to bed! Lol, thanks for letting me know :)
Their poor kids. Such a bad idea to make all this public!
I feel a lot more for her after hearing these points.
12:20 yes I thought in my head but no cos no one says it.
But what was her fault in it? What role did her ego play?
Growth is a beautiful value but it can't just be in business
I dislike Rachel Hollis and think her books and retreats and conferences are garbage. BUT I absolutely think leaving Dave was the best decision for their family.
How you or people in general can affirm that’s the big reason she was so successful is thanks to Daves position or funding?Maybe she could made it without been married to him, because she have the drive, the view, the exposure on social media.. i don’t know…not a fan of none of them, but I dnt understand why people wants to give him so much credit..
YIKES. 27 year old marrying a 19 year old… That’s really the only explanation I need to understand why they divorced. That age gap is totally fine for people over 25, but if one party is under 25, that’s straight predatory. No convincing me otherwise.
Ya...She isn't my cup of tea. Divorces are always 50/50 or even 100/100. The blame game isn't a good look for either of them. I don't and won't listen to either of them again. There are too many amazing, positive, dynamic people to listen to.
Also men that won't admit they need help, and ask for help from their partner (or women). Even if they WANT to be there for YOU. Heidi is interesting, but she is able to be a sort. of sex symbol and cheerleader for him. She may be the right woman for him, and to help him through whatever it is....if she is good for Dave and Heidi.
Ugh. I can't see why anyone would take advice from either of them. They need to receive advice, not dispense it. And they put themselves out there as Christians? They were obviously all about the money.
Wowwwww...dave trying to guilt his subscribers into buying his book?! I don't know much about him but if anyone uses guilt to persuade someone to buy their book in order to supposedly encourage and motivate them that's a no for me.
The real reason they got divorced was because she didn't buy his book!
He was funding her programs..it is obvious he had a drinking problem..I feel Heidi exhausts Dave.. I was married for 20 years.. when all signs lead to you need to go..you need to go...
This Rachel woman talks as if she's on speed.
Yikes - she completely misunderstood the unequally yoked passage! That's about believers not partnering with unbelievers (and not just in marriage). Her pathetic rationale is that if you don't "grow" (super vague and malleable term) at the same pace then it is ok to divorce. What nonsense! The Bible never even hints at that. One more reason to ignore them both.
🙄🙄🙄🙄
I mean they are clearly both narcissists
Let me punch some holes in your sexist soliliquy;
1. A woman can charge whatever she wants for her services, and just because it's a lot does not make it a "scam". She's not selling cigarettes to toddlers. Consenting adults participated.
2. Just because her marriage didn't work out does not mean she didn't have valuable lessons or relationship advice
And 3. You literally just said that she succeeded because of her husband.
No. She had financial support from her husband, certainly, but Rachel achieved her fame and created her company through her own hard work.
She's not perfect, like the rest of us, but she is doing her best and has helped a lot of people and that should'nt be diminished just because of a relationship not working out. That is just life; it happens. People grow apart or need different things later down the road. Of course she's not going to air her dirty laundry in front of millions of people while in the thick of it. That doesn't make her a fraud. Especially when it sounds like the marriage ended because of her HUSBAND lying. She had no control over that. Sounds like Dave is the fraud. Where's the video about Dave? Oh wait there isn't one because our society puts all the blame and focus for things not working out on women. This video is total BS. I suggest you take a hard look at your own internalized misogyny.
so two months of hell is nothing🤷🏾 ..Let not judge each other levels of pain ..If we were to do that I would render your chAnnel pointless simply because I'm a black woman and you are not ..But I don't play that game ..
Your analogy of Breadwinner was not correct. Actually, you used it incorrectly. If she was the initial breadwinner, it would fit but it doesn’t. You tried. Your review is mediocre at best. I don’t think you are old enough to be reviewing someone’s marriage. Do you even have children?
Still better than anything you'll ever do
@@alicelong3613 Umm, Gone with the Wind much, Alice? Streetcar Named Desire much, Alice? Case closed.
B HANEY DONT KNOW WHAT SHE B TALKING ABOUT THAT NINJA GOT CAUGHT CHEATING IN THE NEXT ROOM ALONG WITH A FEW OTHER MISGIVINGS