I cant wait for the day i have full confidence back and not have the sleep worries in back of my mind. Most nights i sleep well but the anxiety is still there some times.
Just what I needed to hear! After 4 months of sleeping well, I hit a speed bump last night. Although my confidence is much higher, I still feel like I’ve been having to “tiptoe” around the tiny little bit of fear of not sleeping or falling back into insomnia. But I feel like this video explained well what I’m feeling and going through I think it’s going to help my brain just that much more to just quit caring whether I sleep or not, because in the end, I know that I will. So thank you so much for posting this, Alina!
Thank you for you comment! I am so glad that you've been sleeping well and I totally understand the frustration from having a speedbump in a long time. Happy to hear that this video has brought some clarity!
All you say is so true! I was doing better, even getting full nights of restful sleep and now it’s been 2 weeks of waking up in the middle of the night again, a few days I could take because “whatever, I’ll have coffee or a nap and soon I’ll sleep” but after the fatigue gets stronger I got panicked a bit, now I’m kind or resigned but still super burnout and having to work and take care of kids, and that adds to the “when will it end” mindset but as you say, it’s just important to know it will end eventually and there’s nothing to worry about
So helpful. In first speedbump after months of great sleep, I am feeling really anxious about it and your video is very helpful. Feeling like I am starting again but hopefully I will get past my fear of sleeplessness faster.
So thankful I found your channel. Your videos are not only super insightful, but are bang on with what I've struggled with. And having cured my insomnia in the past using CBTi, and having gone through a speed bump myself just now after years, finding your perspective on aspects of insomnia have been exactly what I've struggled with during past speed bumps. I relate to so much if not all that you share which is a perspective CBTi doesn't provide. so your content is helping me to just build an even stronger foundation for whatever might lie ahead. so thank you for what you do.
I feel you John, that can be soo frustrating! But I am so glad that you had that good stretch. I find that every speedbump highlights the areas we haven't seen through yet which gives us an opportunity to complete the journey. And sometimes those speedbumps can take quite a while. So maybe we can even see if we can give ourselves permission to let a speedbump take as long as it takes while we keep doing our thing
Hi How many sleepless nights will the brain take to understand that there is no threat. It’s like one sleepless night adds anxiety and then another one and then another one. It’s a constant loop of anxiety. I get that the brain has to go through all these bumps but then again what if the brain gets accustomed to a stretch of sleepless nights? No matter how much one tries to befriend wakefulness, there will always be times when it gets hard and everytime it gets hard, the brain establishes a new loop. Can you either make a video on such a pattern or explain it to me because I can’t seem to figure out how it’s to be done.
There is no “right”, or “minimum” or “maximum” amount of nights to teach the brain safety. Because it is not time that heals but how fast we are able to learn that we are safe. Of course some amount of time is needed to pass for the knowledge to sink in, but we don’t have to focus on time being the only factor. We spiral down into several sleepless nights because we not always see clearly our efforts and pressure we put on ourselves. So when we had one sleepless night and begin to act on panic, we are more likely to experience another sleepless night. And if we act on that panic too, that can keep cycle go on. Of course the sleepless stretch won’t last forever, but it’s important to recognize the fight or flight response when it begins and instead of instantly acting on it, to take a pause to observe what is actually going on and making the decisions from the place of awareness and clarity. And that’s takes practice, I also haven’t done it perfectly just by education alone. It was a learning curve for me. Hope this helps!
Hi Alina! Perfect timing of your video! I've been sleeping better since March with only a few speed bumps of only a day or two. My last speed bump was two nights ago after sleeping well for 5 weeks. Last night I slept because I was tired. Now some of the fearful insomnia thinking pattern has come back and worried about tonight and coming nights. This is very helpful as I was probably in that "management" thinking pattern. Going to watch this video a few times help me with being okay with the speed bump. - Robert
So glad to hear about you recent progress Robert! Oh and I totally get that when anxiety echo pops up that can be frustrating, yet nothing unusual from how our brains learn to feel safe
@@FearlessSleep Thanks Alina! The speedbump is still going on like an automatic process. I hope this makes me less afraid of speedbumps because the past three months of sleeping, I've had almost no sleep thoughts during the days but a little bit of worry just before bed. Hopefully this is the next step in the fear fading away that you speak about.
@@AMJSKATESHOP these past 5 weeks have been really good. But that is too short a time span to say anything conclusive about it. I am in a good place right now. Why did you ask?
@@hugotielen I remember you from Daniels slack forum. You had very descriptive passages about how demolishing severe chronic insomnia has been on you over the past 20 years. The last time I saw you write you said that the Dr told you that you had burnout, your adrenal glands were depleted from the insomnia (if I'm saying that correctly). You were sleeping too much. How has the past year or so been for you, that might have been longer than that ago.
Last night I was on my sofa on my phone and I was dozing of to sleep, then I said to my self hey I can sleep I haven’t got an issue or lost the ability to sleep every night. Then I went upstairs in my room got in bed I then felt wide awake and the fear starting to creep in, I laid down next to my wife I was on my phone watching videos then I started to yawn I put my phone down the time was 11pm then I fell asleep and woke up at 5:15am to do a wee then I got in bed took me around 15 mins to fall asleep the fear was back of my head. Then after u fell asleep woke up at 8am. My question is why do I always still fear that will I sleep tonight ? Is this the start of insomnia? Even tho I slept last night but I still fear will I sleep good like that everyday ? Also I saw some comments in RUclips some people say as they got older their insomnia is getting worse now I’m getting scared thinking will that happen to me as I age insomnia will start and get worse. As all these months I slept fine 7 hours a day with no issues and one bad night came put me into square one ? What’s your thoughts on this ?? Just subscribed
Alina, I have a few questions for you. In this video you stated several times that when people start sleeping better that the fear goes away. For me, when i started finally sleeping better, the fear never went away completely. Every night i still had to tell myself that "I can sleep and i will sleep and that I may not sleep tonight but i will be ok" at what point did the fear go away for you? Also, I was hoping you could tell me what this is, i am waking up several times at night. I recently started perimenopause and have associated the wakening's with menopausal sleep disturbances that have eventually caused me to have a speed bump. At first i was fine with the awakenings but then of course my insomnia started to panic and now i believe i am in what is called a speedbump after about 3 months of sleeping every night though the wakening's never completely stopped. My question is, i am having a hard time understanding what sleep efforts are when i am trying to treat menopausal symptoms. Frequent awakenings seems to be a huge issue for many women during menopause and can last years. How do i know that its the menopause or if its actually insomnia?
@@heidislayton8748 Hi Heidi, when people start sleeping better, fear tends to decrease, but it doesn’t mean it’s gone completely immediately. I mentioned in the video that fear can keep resurfacing after seeing the improvements and brain tends to come up with new things to worry about. So it’s certainly expected that fear will take a longer time to dissolve completely. It’s also possible that we feel anxious even after a great night, but that isn’t the topic of this video. This video is about those who experienced “recovery” but then fell into worry cycle again. Fear tends to fade very slowly, slower than we would like it to. Hormonal changes can certainly disrupt anyone’s sleep. But insomnia has a big fear component to it. So worrying about sleep being disrupted (due to any reason) and trying to fix it or control it, points to the fear that fuels insomnia and sleep anxiety. But what percentage of sleeplessness comes from what factor is impossible to tell. What’s more important, in my opinion, is how we choose to respond to the situation that is in front of us. Are we trying to avoid wakefulness and uncomfortable feelings or are we choosing to embrace them while taking steps we feel are necessary in a given situation?
@@FearlessSleep you always have an amazing perspective and you’re so incredibly helpful. It’s just so freaking frustrating because even when I’m not having insomnia I’m having sleep disturbances so I feel completely defeated. I must admit that since I started having the disruptions I have gone out of my way to try to find solutions. I’ve integrated supplements, eliminated sugar and caffeine. Fasted before bed and then tried eating before bed. I’ve had my blood sugar tested and on and on and on. I thought that if I could find the solution to my sleep disruptions that I would be able to sleep better because I’d have the insomnia and the disruptions figured out to some degree. If you could give me one lasting thought or thoughts, what would it be? I also think I’m going to join the immunity program again. What team are you on again?
Hi Alina My question to you is that acceptance comes from within. It’s just accepting your situation the way it is. However, I often feel that success stories give me a lot of hope and that hope creates a barrier between acceptance and continued efforts. How do I deal with this situation?
I am currently in a speed bump now. I just had a baby four months ago and it crept back in. I will sleep well for a while and have a rough night. I sometimes have to not sleep in the bed with my husband and baby. My husband has had to take care of the baby a lot of nights. This leaves me feeling extremely guilty making my anxiety worse. I am trying to just accept this and be grateful I have a beautiful life. Once I fall asleep I am good if I get woke up I can fall back asleep I have trouble with the initial falling asleep. I was having anticipation anxiety of the baby waking up and disturbing me. How do I deal with all this since my trigger is ongoing
How do I get over a speed bump if it’s far more worse than the initial insomnia? I’ve never had sleep onset issues but now I’ve been having them and I just can’t sleep. I’m panicking and my heart is racing. How do I tackle a speed bump which I haven’t experienced before?
hi! sorry to hear you are going though a struggle now. Insomnia can shift its forms from onset to maintenance and back. Educating ourselves that it is a normal part of the experience can bring some peace and clarity which can make it easier to face those speedbumps. I shared my thoughts on "the worst" speedbumps in this video, maybe you will find it helpful 🙏 ruclips.net/video/zBKrElkyyHM/видео.html
Hi Alina. I’m here ‘cause I’m experiencing the same thing after months of normal sleep. I noticed that brain (at least mine ahah) creates these speed bumps in two ways: either it creates associations with variations in details of your environment/daily activity (“what if I cannot sleep without the pillow?”, “what if you have to go in that new place tomorrow and you cannot sleep?”) or it fears to go back at square one (“what if I experience again the whole struggle from scratch?”). I think that both instances are connected to aspect that you’re stressing: the brain fears that I was only ‘lucky’ in the last months and so it looks for variations in pattern that may justify new struggles. What you think about it? And what’s you suggestion for this kind of associations? My first choice is to challenge them by doing the opposite of what my brain tells me (in short exposure). Is it correct or can it become a sleep effort in disguise? Thanks in advance!
Does your insomnia approach ever include sleep restriction? What are your thoughts on that CBTI approach?? So many doctors talk about it but I don’t know if that is another form of safety behaviors? Please help❤️🙏❤️🙏
Good question! I view sleep restriction as just a tool - for someone it can be helpful, for someone not. I tried it myself for a while on my journey and found it more pressure inducing so I ditched it. But I acknowledge that some might find benefit in it. But in itself it is not the only approach. I explained my thoughts on structured approaches vs flexible ones in this video: ruclips.net/video/QK_ZRQBJwFg/видео.html maybe you will find it helpful :)
Hi Alina. I am far along on my recovery journey but I notice that now I am only able to sleep enough when I go to bed early. I’m unable to sleep in or adapt to changes in my sleep schedule. Do you know why this would be happening? Before insomnia I was able to fall asleep any time and wake up at any time and my body would naturally get enough sleep. I also have been going through a speed bump which has increased my anxiety before bedtime which causes me to stay up later - and therefore not get enough sleep because I can’t sleep in. Very frustrating.
Sometimes the time when we go to sleep might get associated with the struggle sleeping. We may have experienced a few nights when going to bed early was followed by better sleep and when we had to go later, we struggled more. So we naturally begin to feel pressured to make it in a "reasonable" time window. It is called acceptability threshold - when we think that going to bed early is ok and going to bed later is not ok. But in reality of course there is no particular time that defines whether we sleep or not. Sometimes reminding yourself that you have more or less the same chance of having a peaceful night whether you go to bed at 9pm or 1am. And letting the body guide you in when it's time to rest can be helpful. Hope this makes sense!
In my case after a few nights of sleeping well it seems like my brain will start focusing on some physical ache or pain and then create anxiety around it, both of which obstruct my ability to relax and let sleep happen.
I cant wait for the day i have full confidence back and not have the sleep worries in back of my mind. Most nights i sleep well but the anxiety is still there some times.
hello, I'm 40 years old and I'm from Romania, now 1 started the problems with insomnia along with some panic attacks. I'm glad I found you.
Thanks for being here, Oltean! I hope my content will bring you value on your journey ❤
Just what I needed to hear! After 4 months of sleeping well, I hit a speed bump last night. Although my confidence is much higher, I still feel like I’ve been having to “tiptoe” around the tiny little bit of fear of not sleeping or falling back into insomnia. But I feel like this video explained well what I’m feeling and going through I think it’s going to help my brain just that much more to just quit caring whether I sleep or not, because in the end, I know that I will. So thank you so much for posting this, Alina!
Thank you for you comment! I am so glad that you've been sleeping well and I totally understand the frustration from having a speedbump in a long time. Happy to hear that this video has brought some clarity!
Was your insomnia mostly onset or maintenance?
@@lillianyoukhana8451 It was onset.
I’m having a rough speed bump right now and I needed this. Thank you
All you say is so true! I was doing better, even getting full nights of restful sleep and now it’s been 2 weeks of waking up in the middle of the night again, a few days I could take because “whatever, I’ll have coffee or a nap and soon I’ll sleep” but after the fatigue gets stronger I got panicked a bit, now I’m kind or resigned but still super burnout and having to work and take care of kids, and that adds to the “when will it end” mindset but as you say, it’s just important to know it will end eventually and there’s nothing to worry about
So helpful. In first speedbump after months of great sleep, I am feeling really anxious about it and your video is very helpful. Feeling like I am starting again but hopefully I will get past my fear of sleeplessness faster.
So thankful I found your channel. Your videos are not only super insightful, but are bang on with what I've struggled with. And having cured my insomnia in the past using CBTi, and having gone through a speed bump myself just now after years, finding your perspective on aspects of insomnia have been exactly what I've struggled with during past speed bumps. I relate to so much if not all that you share which is a perspective CBTi doesn't provide. so your content is helping me to just build an even stronger foundation for whatever might lie ahead. so thank you for what you do.
So glad you find it helpful
Incredible video, thank you so much. This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I love the way you explain things
So thankful for your videos
That’s deep… and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you Alina. 🛌💤🇨🇦
Thanks for the video. I’m going through a rough speedbump at the moment after 6 weeks of very good and consistent sleep.
I feel you John, that can be soo frustrating! But I am so glad that you had that good stretch. I find that every speedbump highlights the areas we haven't seen through yet which gives us an opportunity to complete the journey. And sometimes those speedbumps can take quite a while. So maybe we can even see if we can give ourselves permission to let a speedbump take as long as it takes while we keep doing our thing
I love your videos it’s so nice to no we’re not alone
This is so amazingly helpful, thank you ❤️
Hi
How many sleepless nights will the brain take to understand that there is no threat. It’s like one sleepless night adds anxiety and then another one and then another one. It’s a constant loop of anxiety. I get that the brain has to go through all these bumps but then again what if the brain gets accustomed to a stretch of sleepless nights? No matter how much one tries to befriend wakefulness, there will always be times when it gets hard and everytime it gets hard, the brain establishes a new loop. Can you either make a video on such a pattern or explain it to me because I can’t seem to figure out how it’s to be done.
There is no “right”, or “minimum” or “maximum” amount of nights to teach the brain safety. Because it is not time that heals but how fast we are able to learn that we are safe. Of course some amount of time is needed to pass for the knowledge to sink in, but we don’t have to focus on time being the only factor.
We spiral down into several sleepless nights because we not always see clearly our efforts and pressure we put on ourselves. So when we had one sleepless night and begin to act on panic, we are more likely to experience another sleepless night. And if we act on that panic too, that can keep cycle go on. Of course the sleepless stretch won’t last forever, but it’s important to recognize the fight or flight response when it begins and instead of instantly acting on it, to take a pause to observe what is actually going on and making the decisions from the place of awareness and clarity. And that’s takes practice, I also haven’t done it perfectly just by education alone. It was a learning curve for me. Hope this helps!
Omg this is me day 5 now of 4 broken hours I send my anxiety over the edge
Hi Alina! Perfect timing of your video! I've been sleeping better since March with only a few speed bumps of only a day or two. My last speed bump was two nights ago after sleeping well for 5 weeks. Last night I slept because I was tired. Now some of the fearful insomnia thinking pattern has come back and worried about tonight and coming nights. This is very helpful as I was probably in that "management" thinking pattern. Going to watch this video a few times help me with being okay with the speed bump. - Robert
So glad to hear about you recent progress Robert! Oh and I totally get that when anxiety echo pops up that can be frustrating, yet nothing unusual from how our brains learn to feel safe
@@FearlessSleep Thanks Alina! The speedbump is still going on like an automatic process. I hope this makes me less afraid of speedbumps because the past three months of sleeping, I've had almost no sleep thoughts during the days but a little bit of worry just before bed. Hopefully this is the next step in the fear fading away that you speak about.
Thanks Alina!
Are you still struggling Hugo?
@@AMJSKATESHOP these past 5 weeks have been really good. But that is too short a time span to say anything conclusive about it. I am in a good place right now. Why did you ask?
@@hugotielen I remember you from Daniels slack forum. You had very descriptive passages about how demolishing severe chronic insomnia has been on you over the past 20 years. The last time I saw you write you said that the Dr told you that you had burnout, your adrenal glands were depleted from the insomnia (if I'm saying that correctly). You were sleeping too much. How has the past year or so been for you, that might have been longer than that ago.
Last night I was on my sofa on my phone and I was dozing of to sleep, then I said to my self hey I can sleep I haven’t got an issue or lost the ability to sleep every night. Then I went upstairs in my room got in bed I then felt wide awake and the fear starting to creep in, I laid down next to my wife I was on my phone watching videos then I started to yawn I put my phone down the time was 11pm then I fell asleep and woke up at 5:15am to do a wee then I got in bed took me around 15 mins to fall asleep the fear was back of my head. Then after u fell asleep woke up at 8am.
My question is why do I always still fear that will I sleep tonight ? Is this the start of insomnia? Even tho I slept last night but I still fear will I sleep good like that everyday ?
Also I saw some comments in RUclips some people say as they got older their insomnia is getting worse now I’m getting scared thinking will that happen to me as I age insomnia will start and get worse. As all these months I slept fine 7 hours a day with no issues and one bad night came put me into square one ? What’s your thoughts on this ??
Just subscribed
Thank you!
Alina, I have a few questions for you. In this video you stated several times that when people start sleeping better that the fear goes away. For me, when i started finally sleeping better, the fear never went away completely. Every night i still had to tell myself that "I can sleep and i will sleep and that I may not sleep tonight but i will be ok" at what point did the fear go away for you? Also, I was hoping you could tell me what this is, i am waking up several times at night. I recently started perimenopause and have associated the wakening's with menopausal sleep disturbances that have eventually caused me to have a speed bump. At first i was fine with the awakenings but then of course my insomnia started to panic and now i believe i am in what is called a speedbump after about 3 months of sleeping every night though the wakening's never completely stopped. My question is, i am having a hard time understanding what sleep efforts are when i am trying to treat menopausal symptoms. Frequent awakenings seems to be a huge issue for many women during menopause and can last years. How do i know that its the menopause or if its actually insomnia?
@@heidislayton8748 Hi Heidi, when people start sleeping better, fear tends to decrease, but it doesn’t mean it’s gone completely immediately. I mentioned in the video that fear can keep resurfacing after seeing the improvements and brain tends to come up with new things to worry about. So it’s certainly expected that fear will take a longer time to dissolve completely.
It’s also possible that we feel anxious even after a great night, but that isn’t the topic of this video. This video is about those who experienced “recovery” but then fell into worry cycle again. Fear tends to fade very slowly, slower than we would like it to.
Hormonal changes can certainly disrupt anyone’s sleep. But insomnia has a big fear component to it. So worrying about sleep being disrupted (due to any reason) and trying to fix it or control it, points to the fear that fuels insomnia and sleep anxiety. But what percentage of sleeplessness comes from what factor is impossible to tell. What’s more important, in my opinion, is how we choose to respond to the situation that is in front of us. Are we trying to avoid wakefulness and uncomfortable feelings or are we choosing to embrace them while taking steps we feel are necessary in a given situation?
@@FearlessSleep you always have an amazing perspective and you’re so incredibly helpful. It’s just so freaking frustrating because even when I’m not having insomnia I’m having sleep disturbances so I feel completely defeated. I must admit that since I started having the disruptions I have gone out of my way to try to find solutions. I’ve integrated supplements, eliminated sugar and caffeine. Fasted before bed and then tried eating before bed. I’ve had my blood sugar tested and on and on and on. I thought that if I could find the solution to my sleep disruptions that I would be able to sleep better because I’d have the insomnia and the disruptions figured out to some degree. If you could give me one lasting thought or thoughts, what would it be? I also think I’m going to join the immunity program again. What team are you on again?
Hi Alina
My question to you is that acceptance comes from within. It’s just accepting your situation the way it is. However, I often feel that success stories give me a lot of hope and that hope creates a barrier between acceptance and continued efforts. How do I deal with this situation?
I am currently in a speed bump now. I just had a baby four months ago and it crept back in. I will sleep well for a while and have a rough night. I sometimes have to not sleep in the bed with my husband and baby. My husband has had to take care of the baby a lot of nights. This leaves me feeling extremely guilty making my anxiety worse. I am trying to just accept this and be grateful I have a beautiful life. Once I fall asleep I am good if I get woke up I can fall back asleep I have trouble with the initial falling asleep. I was having anticipation anxiety of the baby waking up and disturbing me. How do I deal with all this since my trigger is ongoing
How do I get over a speed bump if it’s far more worse than the initial insomnia? I’ve never had sleep onset issues but now I’ve been having them and I just can’t sleep. I’m panicking and my heart is racing. How do I tackle a speed bump which I haven’t experienced before?
hi! sorry to hear you are going though a struggle now. Insomnia can shift its forms from onset to maintenance and back. Educating ourselves that it is a normal part of the experience can bring some peace and clarity which can make it easier to face those speedbumps. I shared my thoughts on "the worst" speedbumps in this video, maybe you will find it helpful 🙏 ruclips.net/video/zBKrElkyyHM/видео.html
Hello. Did you ever take sleeping pills and if so how do you ween off of them? Thanks
Hi Alina. I’m here ‘cause I’m experiencing the same thing after months of normal sleep. I noticed that brain (at least mine ahah) creates these speed bumps in two ways: either it creates associations with variations in details of your environment/daily activity (“what if I cannot sleep without the pillow?”, “what if you have to go in that new place tomorrow and you cannot sleep?”) or it fears to go back at square one (“what if I experience again the whole struggle from scratch?”). I think that both instances are connected to aspect that you’re stressing: the brain fears that I was only ‘lucky’ in the last months and so it looks for variations in pattern that may justify new struggles. What you think about it? And what’s you suggestion for this kind of associations? My first choice is to challenge them by doing the opposite of what my brain tells me (in short exposure). Is it correct or can it become a sleep effort in disguise? Thanks in advance!
Thanks for sharing this! I will include your question to the next Q&A episode!
Does your insomnia approach ever include sleep restriction? What are your thoughts on that CBTI approach?? So many doctors talk about it but I don’t know if that is another form of safety behaviors? Please help❤️🙏❤️🙏
Good question! I view sleep restriction as just a tool - for someone it can be helpful, for someone not. I tried it myself for a while on my journey and found it more pressure inducing so I ditched it. But I acknowledge that some might find benefit in it. But in itself it is not the only approach. I explained my thoughts on structured approaches vs flexible ones in this video: ruclips.net/video/QK_ZRQBJwFg/видео.html maybe you will find it helpful :)
Hi Alina. I am far along on my recovery journey but I notice that now I am only able to sleep enough when I go to bed early. I’m unable to sleep in or adapt to changes in my sleep schedule. Do you know why this would be happening? Before insomnia I was able to fall asleep any time and wake up at any time and my body would naturally get enough sleep. I also have been going through a speed bump which has increased my anxiety before bedtime which causes me to stay up later - and therefore not get enough sleep because I can’t sleep in. Very frustrating.
Sometimes the time when we go to sleep might get associated with the struggle sleeping. We may have experienced a few nights when going to bed early was followed by better sleep and when we had to go later, we struggled more. So we naturally begin to feel pressured to make it in a "reasonable" time window.
It is called acceptability threshold - when we think that going to bed early is ok and going to bed later is not ok. But in reality of course there is no particular time that defines whether we sleep or not. Sometimes reminding yourself that you have more or less the same chance of having a peaceful night whether you go to bed at 9pm or 1am. And letting the body guide you in when it's time to rest can be helpful. Hope this makes sense!
Thank you, it really did
In my case after a few nights of sleeping well it seems like my brain will start focusing on some physical ache or pain and then create anxiety around it, both of which obstruct my ability to relax and let sleep happen.