Wake Up After Breakup | Dharma talk by Sister Boi Nghiem, 2020-08-16 at Magnolia Grove Monastery
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- All of us have experienced the heartache of relational breakups. Breakups can be our inspirational challenge to "look up", "show up", "make up", and "wake up". All too often, breakups can create inner states of doubt, loneliness, confusion and lack of confidence. Breakups can create stress that feed old patterns of looking down on yourself and others. These patterns can shut us off from a mindful life and create isolation and loneliness.
Sister Boi Nghiem (Sister True Pearl) reminds us to look up not down at ourselves and our sisters and brothers. She encourages us to show up for healthy activities and to not let our fears shut us down. She suggests that we make up rather than melt down during this time of change. There is no need to go into drama or collapse. She reminds us to take our cues from nature--- go slowly and mindfully being grateful for what this person has given to us. This will allow for reconciliation in our heart.
This talk encourages us to wake up when faced with relational difficulties. We can remember that this is a normative part of life. If we nourish self love and compassion, we will be able to share these gifts with others and as we breathe deeply we can "look up", "show up", "make up" and "wake up".
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This talk was so pure. The bit that helped me the most was your suggestion to stop searching too hard for insights but instead trust that these will come. I've been desparately seeking out guidance after my breakup but I think the most helpful suggestion (as you have said) is simply to wake up to the present moment, look up, and not let the past negatively tarnish the present. It's beautiful here and now, and more insights will probably come in time. I also recognise a need to become better at taking care of myself. Thank you xxx
Very educative. I love his videos. I do research on how Buddhism disappeared in Bihar. I realized it never disappeared from Bihar. Buddhists simply failed to research Indian Buddhism. They looked at Buddhism through the sphere of their own cultures searching for only the Buddha. Buddha had a myriad of names in different villages according to his teachings there. Example. His favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt. In the real Vaishali the Lichavies pressurized Buddha not to die. They trailed him to Bandagawan pressurizing him not to die. To put pressure in Hindi is DABESHWAR. Three dozen villages around the stupa where Buddha gave the Lichavies his patra, the villagers pray to Baba 'DABESHWAR NATH' meaning the man who won the pressurizing game. It was the the Buddha no doubt as he gave the Lichavies his patra and succeded in sending them back. But Buddhists are searching for the Buddha. Forgive me for commenting out of the topic. I just wanted to impart this information to you.
Thank you. 30 years after the break up this has helped me very much. 🌹
Very educative. I love his videos. About suffering. Buddhas favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt.
Im alone, no one to be with after this break up and I am like the man, it has devastated me. I need people and support!!! Im drowning!!!
Absolutely the most insightful talk on this subject I have ever heard. I was scanning the utube offerings and just happened to click on it. I will look forward to future talks by you. I live in the middle of the US in the state of Arkansas.
Dear Sister, Thank you so much for this Dharma talk . Using your own experience candidly, you have beautifully explained how reconciliation takes time, how not to rush and how to love and take care of oneself. A lotus to you 😊
I had a break up just days ago, so this was perfect for me. I laughed and cried and learned. I am so grateful for your talk. 🙏🏻
Very educative. I love his videos. About suffering. Buddhas favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt.
I've learned to respect the other person for where they are at, as I respect and nourish my own loving kindness to self. This is an important lesson I've learned from this talk. Thank you so much dear family. Stay Blessed beloved friend 💖
Thank you for this. I have been nursing a broken heart for a bit and this gave me the strength I needed to move forward and look up.
Very educative. I love his videos. About suffering. Buddhas favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt.
I really appreciate the honesty in this, and other, dharma talks.
Nobody ever talks much about friends falling out, and that it's common. Stories always tell of best friends since high school. Just hearing that honesty, that I've also experienced more often than I'd like to admit, is so refreshing and comforting.
*_You are such a beautiful being of love and light. Thank you for being here on earth during this powerful transition :) The universe and God love you unconditionally ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏_*
Beautiful story. But as long as we think of ourselves as "someone" pain is always possible. It is only when we realize that what is breaking up is the form,the idea,the illusion of who we think we are, loses its importance or perhaps vanishes ,then there is nothing left to hurt.And we can love and interact with life and people, without fear. And fear leads to suspicion,hatred and ultimately the darkness. If you have been taught that nothing belongs to you,not even your own body ,then nothing can be taken away from you,and you can love freely without fear. A very high state, but one really worth aspiring for. And full of rewards ,even if you achieve it in part.
Very educative. I love his videos. About suffering. Buddhas favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt.
I loved this talk .i suffers same and i can say i am wake up now i made myself mentally so strong i will not suffer because of anyone in future .... i love this talk sister i can see on your face so peace and lucky u guys doing practice under this monastery... i wish i will do same if i got chance
Sister Boi Ngiem, I learned a lot from your dharma talk. Thank you for your insights. You are very brave for continuing to look up, show up, make up, and wake up after a break up. I am still struggling with my breakups in life and your talk helped me work one day at a time on myself to wake up - to be grateful - to love myself first - to care for my mental health so that I don't hide in the corner and feel pity and hopeless. I wish you all the best on your journey. I hope to hear more of your thoughts in the future. Sending you lots of peaceful vibes.
My new favorite Dharma teacher, but this is too hard.
After Minute 50: 00, “While in a relationship save some love, compassion for yourself, don’t give all”. Practicing awareness at all times; While in a relationship drop all expectations so that you can give entirely yourself. No separation but oneness. It is not the other person that makes us suffer but our own mental stuff, projections, expectations, mental formations, attachment...
* Note: The above comment is only theory regarding human relationship. But it’s very real with my cat (not the one in my profile, that one was a wounded street cat that came to me and took a photo). I have a cat out of circumstantial events. I mean, life brought it to me. I didn’t intentionally want to have a cat. It just happened. Then, through the passing of time Because in a very natural way I give entirely myself to the cat care (no expectations, no mental formations, no mental projections, no attachment, no separation but oneness) , I experience the space and beauty of being able to give entirely myself. But found very difficult to apply all these to humans. It is me who has the problem and not the humans.
You are such an excellent speaker and teacher. I am very grateful for your teachings.
That was a wonderful dharma talk, thank you Sr. I love your laughter, makes me smile each time.
Dear beloved Sister Boi Nghiem!
I am so grateful for your beautiful INSIGHT!
You have my most admiration and respect!
Thank you so much 🦋🌷🌹🌺🌹💟🙏
thanks for this thoughtful and inspiring talk. i am grateful for your insights and that we can grow up together and that with practice we can prevent a blow up .... in 12 step programs, there is a slogan... "suit up, show up and do the next right thing"
Con được thấy Sư Cô sau 2 năm, trong con ngập tràn hạnh phúc
My dude really said soUP, and said. "Forget about it." 😂😂😂
Lol that was great
Soup was correct as in Soup Up or Souped up, when a car is upgraded with bigger pistons to run faster = that car is souped up
Perhaps he feels embarrassed about that. We all make mistakes. Perhaps English isn't his first language. 💖🙏
Very educative. I love his videos. About suffering. Buddhas favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt.
Thank you oh🙏😌🌸
thanykou Sister Boi Nghiem, Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu..
Thank you so much, sister. My boyfriend and I just broke up and I was seeking wisdom to help me find the way through with grace and love. Thank you.
What a beautiful Dharma talk! Thank you! And beautiful handwriting.
Dear Sister Boi Nghiem,
Thank You so much for sharing your insights and beautiful life experiences! I love hearing your teaching. I feel better after the Breakup. Please keep sharing your gifts!
Such a beautiful talk. I’ve taken several insights from this that I will be reflecting on for some times to come. Thank you, sister. 🙏🏽
Sister Boi Nghiem, thank you.
Thank you for your soothing words. Your compassion goes a long way to healing heart heavy feelings. Your love for others is much appreciated
Thank you for the gift of your healing words Sister Boi Nghiem
Dear Sister, thank you for your profound and honest sharing! Your deep looking and sharing is very healing!
upon looking at so many RUclips videos after my break up, I came across this video and my spirit immediately attracted to this video, you touched my soul, thank you for using your experiences !
Beautiful, moving talk🙏 Thank you for your wisdom.
Thank you for your teachings, and kindness.
Dear sister, I'm so thankful to you for sharing the dhamma talk, stay blessed🙇♀️🌸🙏
Thank you so much for sharing part of your personal experience, thank you for your smile, light :) It touched my heart
Thank you for your wisdom and insight. I will think deeply and start my ‘waking up’ now.
Very educative. I love his videos. I do research on how Buddhism disappeared in Bihar. I realized it never disappeared from Bihar. Buddhists simply failed to research Indian Buddhism. They looked at Buddhism through the sphere of their own cultures searching for only the Buddha. Buddha had a myriad of names in different villages according to his teachings there. Example. His favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt. In the real Vaishali the Lichavies pressurized Buddha not to die. They trailed him to Bandagawan pressurizing him not to die. To put pressure in Hindi is DABESHWAR. Three dozen villages around the stupa where Buddha gave the Lichavies his patra, the villagers pray to Baba 'DABESHWAR NATH' meaning the man who won the pressurizing game. It was the the Buddha no doubt as he gave the Lichavies his patra and succeded in sending them back. But Buddhists are searching for the Buddha. Forgive me for commenting out of the topic. I just wanted to impart this information to you.
You are a wonderful speaker Sr.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us all 🙏💕💕
Such a gorgeous, fully sincere talk! I was totally engaged throughout. You are a treasured teacher! Thank you, dear Sister!
Thank you Sister..Beautiful talk.
Thank you, sister Boi Nghiem! c:
Thank you so much dear sister for sharing your thoughts and experience 🙏
Thank you for opening and sharing in the wonderfully childish way 🙏🙂
A beautiful talk and it has touched our heart and we are here for you 🙏🐿🌻🦔🌱🦋🦦😃🌻🍵🍀🌗💫🌈🌏🌍❣️
Very nice, please do more on contemporary topics like this and others.
I felt this very deeply. Just beautiful. Thank you
Thank you 💖🙏🦋
❤❤❤
Thank you for you excellent teaching !!
Oh, I would of definitely been listening to 6, 8, 12 back in the day.
Thank you very much
so heart warming beautiful and helpful thank you
Wow sister you so wonderful, so clear , so organized, Thanks 🙏 for sharing ❤
I needed to hear this right now. Thank you!!
❤
Thank you
Wonderful talk!!
Is anyone having difficulty to hear? i would love to listen what she is sharing. But audio isn’t work for me. In the begging of the video is working…
Wow!
amazing
💜💜💜
i am UP today now
❤️