First story: Just because the dad "moved on" doesn't mean the children have or even should. His behaviour is so disgusting. In my mind, he's essentially trying to erase their mother. I see nothing wrong in them remembering and reflecting about the short time they had with their mother. Edit: Rose is also disgusting. Just trying not to throw up at the thought of this "adult" woman behaving that way. Not worth anyone's time. Good on the elder sibling to recognize how toxic this all is.
I agree Rose and the dad are very toxic but that is not the younger siblings fault that we're born after. They shouldn't be cut off too. I feel bad for the 3 who lost their mom. I know too well how that feels, you never get over the loss of a parent when that young. Memories are so important.
How does a memorial book make the siblings and step mother feel excluded? They didn’t know her.. it’s a book to remember their dead mother his heartless can you be.
Yeah, like, if this was about a teacher who had to leave their schiol or something would they still feel excluded? No, it's precisely because they want to replace the mother entirely. The stepmom is feeling jealous and the step siblings were probably manipulated into going along with it, since otherwise they probably wouldn't care.
@@Someone-or8tp my thing also it that the step sisters dad isn’t mentioned… if step sister made a book with her father would this be the same story? Probably not
How is it hurting... ITS NOT EVEN THEIR HALF SIBLING OWN MOTHER 💀💀💀 ALSO DESTROYING THE BOOK??? IS THE DAD NUT?! They do not even have any sympathy... their mom died, you wouldnt expect a CHILD to adjust to a "new" family and everything is fine. The dad also shit, I felt like he doesnt even care about the kids or his dead wife to begin with
I feel like if I were in the first household, I'd just leave. Live with anyone else because you'll never be respected if they can't accept you wanting to remember your deceased mother.
First story... Dad and Rose can't just eradicate Mum by pretending she never existed. Maybe if Dad and Rose had given them the room to mourne and remember their Mum they didn't have to do it in secret. And for stepdaughter and half siblings.... they both have their mother.
I read the second story just yesterday, and read the comments. One person suggested that the sister should start ignoring her brother whenever he spoke, to leave the room if he tried to speak, and, if he asks why, that she should tell him that she is now child free. Lol. But all funninest aside, someone needs to tell him that being child free only means that you don't want to have any/adopt kids of your own. It does not mean that you pretend children don't exist.
The childfree boy seems really unreasonable for me personally. I’m a childfree person since childhood. I have mild autism and hate loud noises, so I find kids really annoying and I know I would be a terrible mother, because I tend to be aggressive when there is noise around me. But I would never do that to a child. When they are to much for me at the moment I apologise and assure them that I’ll be right back, just so they don’t feel sad while I breathe it out. And I really hate his behaviour because he could just be nice and “ged rid of her” nicely, with some kind of sentence like “look auntie has a nice necklace.” and she’ll be gone without feeling sad. Or at least that’s what works for my nieces.
As a person with mild autism too, I totally agree I also have a little cousin who’s annoying and sweet and I still let her be around me and I also hate really loud noises and messiness not really going to be a bad mom in the future. Plus I hate cleaning after kids who r old enough to learn how to clean after their selfs.
@I am me • 25y ago i’m not too pressed about the fact that he remarried so quickly but come on. i think the kids did a good thing keeping it from them because one, them doing that together would probably make the father realize that maybe he needs more time to grieve. two, as i said, the stepmom and sister did not know the mom! that scrapbook is for the ones who miss their mom and was trying to get more closure. i feel bad but the eldest sister should leave from that household as soon as she can. they don’t deserve that.
Because they were hurt that they weren't included in the book. They want to feel like siblings. I could never fathom not treating my half siblings as real ones. They ARE my siblings! But I understand it was a nice thing for the 3 kids to share about their mom. The dad should put his kids first, but they are family and should try to act like it. The 2 youngest didn't ask to be born after the mom died. Why punish them? They're kids!!!!!
@iamme25yago23 I do agree about Rose shouldn't have read the book. And she definitely should not have shown her kids. But I can see Rose's side too. I understand about trying to make blended families work. I agree if the op cuts off the dad but it's sad. She shouldn't cut off the kids. Cut Rose and the dad but not the kids. I'm autistic and have stage 3 brain cancer so maybe I just don't get it. I never cut off my half siblings. They cut me off because I'm in a wheelchair so their loss!
@@ril_eyy I mean can you imagine getting bullied for believing in Santa though? I can see where Op was coming from here, and I can see where the parents are coming from. Yes, it’s not their kid, but I think they saved them from years of teasing and possible bullying.
@@PeytDog let the parents be in charge of that though.. they know the child better than op ever will and they made the decision to not tell her, she shouldn't have gone against that. if something did happen, then so be it, that's the parents fault but it's their child & not hers
@@PeytDog still I know people who believe it in now and won't be told he doesn't exist cause they will just ignore them I get they meant no harm but it still none of her buissnes the parents will tell her when they ready
the first story is so sad. bring the three siblings together w/ their three stepsiblings in a diff way. or let them talk ab their mom and allow them to emphasize that the wound is fresh and the stepsiblings would feel the same if their mother died. and also explain that they didn't hate their new siblings (if true) but they also miss their mother and should be able to grieve.
Dad and stepmom can probably be prosecuted if they destroy that book. I'd go to police and child services to see if anything can be done to prevent the destruction of the book.
1. NTA. They never knew their stepmom, so they decided make a photo album of their late mom as a coping mechanism. The stepmom is an AH here for snooping and the dad is an AH. 2. NTA. Just because they're child-free, does not mean they're gonna be AH to a child. That's not what it means and not how it works. The brother is 16 and was acting like a child. 3. NTA. OP's just looking out for the niece. 4. NTA. I know they're grieving, but if he wants to move his father in so bad, why is the middle child get to be kicked out of his room, which is unfair?
The Santa Story Op isn't in the wrong because she appreciated being told the truth and she's old enough now that it won't fully destroy Christmas for her. Plus, they're right, kids are horrific bullies when someone is even slightly different. It's only the parents that are mad
The dad and stepmother are trying to ERASE the memories of the kids' mother. That is what is absolutely despicable. It's fine if they want to have a separate scrapbook for all of them, but this is just for the siblings who lost their mom and a way for them to remember her. There is nothing wrong with that, and I feel like possibly the stepmother and father are trying to force things which what might be why they don't see her as a mother (aside from the fact that she was snooping and invading one of the kids provacy).
I knew since i was young that i never wanted kids but i still love every niece and nephew that is born and kids love me even if i dont quite know what to do with children
If my partner passed away and my children wanted to have that I would actually encourage that like "hey if you want to talk about dad we can all do it together you dont need to hide it" and my new partner didnt like that f them
As a kid who's had to share a room with all 3 of her siblings for almost 15 tears including being moved around and sleeping in the same bed bcuz our grandma needed a place to stay (and our mom and dad put her comfort above that of their children) I can see why she would not want him in the house. I would'nt either
In the last story, the husband probably hadn’t thought about losing his parents until it actually happened, and he wants to spend as much time as possible with his father before he passes.
12:27 Regarding this last story, another thing to consider that has been brought up by other posters is this: what does dad think about this plan? Does he want to sell his house and move in with his son?
I feel conflicted about the Santa story. On one hand, parents should make most decisions about their child when they are still children. On the other hand, telling the lie of Santa is debatable to begin with, and one could argue the niece deserved to know. I suppose it all really comes down to your personal views on the Santa myth.
the niece *could have* been made fun of at school, yes, but she is not his child! it's not his responsibility to take care of her, it's her parents and he was wayy out of line for doing that
10:17 the wife isn’t in the wrong. this happened to a couple which are friends with my parents and they did move him in and now they became obssesive about him and don’t go out anymore.
For the Santa one, I feel like it was up to her to figure it out or for her parents to tell her. I was never told but I eventually figured it out on my own. There was no need to meddle in another family's business since it wasn't harmful for the child. She was inserting herself in their business when she didn't need to at all against the parents wishes. She even asked the parents first because she knew that it was something she was overstepping her bounds by doing it.
Story 1. The parents are insane if they think the children who are grieving shouldn't grieve. Why would the stepmom or half-siblings be included if they never knew the mum?? Story 2. "Childfree" isn't a pass to be a jerk regardless. I understand that he doesn't want to interact with kids and knows it but he could've set boundaries with the cousin straight away if she keeps doing it. Story 3. OP's just looking out for her but it sucks that now the niece has to live with the truth that she's been lied to by her own parents for all of her life. It's also a bit sucky that OP did this behind the parents' backs instead of trying to reason with them before since they should've put their daughter first regardless. Story 4. It does sound selfish but putting your family first is kinda iffy but never selfish to do. The FIL moving in IS a drastic change that would affect the whole family, especially since it seems unlikely that the FIL would leave to spend his twilight hours. OP could try to find a compromise but she should definitely explain to her husband her own worries if they want to move forward.
story 1: i feel there is a hole behavior from all sides. rose, dad, and op too! the whole "real siblings" thing sounds like the other kids was never accepted in the first place. they seemed hurt by their mother's death and started to cope and hate rose for it. totally normal., not good but normal. i can understand the behavior but its not the dad's fault. destroying the book is stupid and terrible on that i agree. dad and rose did not handle that well. therapy is needed for all of em! the kids need to process and the parents need to be understanding of that process.
Last story. I think she should go to the therapy sessions to discuss this. I this the therapist could help both sides hear each other. She really needs to tell him what is bothering her about this idea, but in a way that doesn't threaten him or get his back up. Face it. This is a lot more work for her! Maybe they can sell grandpas home to build a "Grandpa house on their land?
Personally, i don't mind giving up my room for my grandparents. (I already did) As long as the husband takes full responsibility for his own father, i don't really see a problem.
The Dad is not currently taking of his responsibilities for the people living in the house because he's checked out. It's never mentioned if the kid's are grieving either, or if they are willing to share. The kid's are not acknowledged at all except as obstacles to Dad's goal, and a pawn in Mom's goal. That means neither parent is currently handling their responsibilities to those in the house, so Dad isn't going to be handling more responsibility.
I personally would hate to live with grandparents. My own parents are already so nosy. Especially the middle child being 12, it's essential time for starting to need personal space and a little independence.
I had a friend around 15 who believe in Santa because she lived in a trailer… she couldn’t afford much so it didn’t make sense that her parents could afford to do Christmas
Also, the dad in the first story is clearly trying to erase every memorable thing of his first wife and is trying to force his kids into replacing their mother with their new stepmom. How is he comparing his new children and wife being hurt by exclusion when his previous children lost their mother and had their dad immediately get remarried, have kids and move on from her death? Grief is different for everyone, and this man is pissed because his happy fantasy of starting a new life is being challenged by his kids missing their mother
Santa, some people are older than 13 and still believe in him. I don’t see anything wrong with that though. When I was like 5ish I thought I was Santa 😂. I don’t see anything wrong with believing in Santa at any age if it makes the person keep their spirits up 😊
The memory book: I can't with this family. How are you going to be angry and upset and jealous over these kids losing their mother and wanting to remember her? This is for them. This is for them to heal and remember. These people should be supporting this idea instead of getting angry and trying to destroy the book. I'm glad OP was able to save it. I hope they all cut the father and the rest of the family out of their lives for good because the family is absolute toxic trash. The childfree 16 year old: Like I don't even know how to respond to this. You can not want kids, but that doesn't mean you ignore every single child on the planet especially if they're family. Would it really kill him to talk to her for a few hours? Being childfree doesn't mean ignoring all kids. It means you choose not to have kids of your own. The Santa: I believe the aunt was right to explain it especially the way she did. The fact that this girl wasn't already being teased for still believing in Santa is kind of shocking, honestly. I can understand the parents wanting to be the ones to tell her, but they clearly weren't too keen on clueing her in so somebody had to or she would have found out in a much more hurtful way from people in her school teasing her for still believing that a man travels around the world and delivers presents to all kids. I remember discovering Santa wasn't real when I was 9 (I found the Santa presents in my parents's closet), but I have a little brother who is 5 years younger than me, so I just kept it going for quite some time. I would always talk about how Santa was real and I remember my mom taking me shopping when I was 12 and explaining that Santa wasn't real and she wanted me to know so that I wouldn't talk about it with my friends and get made fun of for still believing. I had to break it to her that I had known for the past 3 years and I was just playing along for my brother (who was 7 at the time). She was relieved that I wasn't going around telling my friends that Santa was real because then I would have been made fun of. Also I know people who are in their 30s who are well aware that Santa isn't real, but their parents still buy them presents from Santa even though they know that their kids stopped believing 20 years ago. The moving the father in: When you are a couple, this is definitely something that needs to be discussed together. I definitely understand wanting the father in the house to make it easier for him because he is grieving. I went through it with my grandma when my grandpa passed. She found it hard to be in the house that she shared with her husband for 56 years. She split her time between our house and her house for about a year and then she eventually sold her house and moved in with us. It's a big change bringing someone else into your house even if they are family. Adjustments need to be made. I think the husband has every right to want to move his father into their home, but the wife has every right to be against it. Communication is key at least between the husband and wife. I think the wife needs to make her opinion known or she will end up resenting it and that will cause more problems. Maybe look into places that are close by that he can move into that way he is close and they can visit more easily but they don't have to comprise on their living situation. Is there another family member that maybe has more space that he can move in with so that way he is with family and not alone. They just really need to sit down with each other and say their piece and find a compromise somewhere in there because it's a huge ask and it's a huge change and if not everybody is on board, it's going to be problematic. Also you have to factor in what he would be bringing with him when he moves in. My grandma found it hard to part with a lot of her stuff because of the memories attached to it and therefore she brought a lot of it to our house when she moved in. We don't mind, but it is something that needs to be considered as well and if this father is still in the grieving stage, he will probably be the same way with knick knacks that are at his house. Things that don't seem significant will be coming with him because there is a memory of his wife attached to it.
I mean as an indian most women live with their in-laws after marriage and built a good connection with all of the relatives of the husband's side... Coping with the loss of your partner at an old age is hard and the husband is also grieving the loss which is sad and he doesn't want to leave his father alone cuz he understands what his father is going through and she should probably find a way to make this work anf take some responsibility for their in-laws too...
The aunt telling her niece about santa not being real... stepped over a line. It's not her kid and should have respected the parents wishes. It doesn't matter if it went fine or if she might get hypothecally bullied or whatever. That wasn't her business.
Not everyone would tease someone for believing in Santa. I did til I was 15. I was devastated when I found out. I'm autistic so it just was comforting to me. I suspected it but rather pretended. My classmates didn't tease me because I didn't talk to them. And if they did, I wouldn't care. I wish my parents had waited til i found out on my own. I had to grow up too fast after that.
I’m sure the little girl is grateful I’m the third one but she would have found out on her own. The parents being mad is understandable though. They probably wanted to just let her grow out of it. That’s what my parents did with my sister and I. We didn’t tell people at school, but we did grow out of it at 14-15. No harm. I would be pissed if I were the parents to. It really isn’t any of the girl’s business. Most kids grow out of it naturally
Her reason for telling her is 101% valid. Kids just wait for an opportunity to jump on the bully train. The ones I grew up with literally pulled bullshit dumb reasons out of their asses to bully me even though I never ever did or say anything wrong or bad, they just collectively decided for me to be the black sheep and punching bag. So serving them opportunities on a plate by yourself at this point is just borderline you asking to be bullied. And the fact that the little girl took it in stride with no tantrum shows how mature she is...unlike her bitching parents who acted like elementary school kids. I share the aunt's mentality, as an aunt myself I don't hesitate to call out my little niece when she's wrong and won't think twice about reprimanding her when she crosses a line. Such things do not slide by me.
As of the first story Rose didn't care cuz she was truly hurt she would have came to the girl directly instead she went and snitched just wanted to start drama and what she did was entirely wrong the dad is still in the wrong because how can he get upset with his first kids are still grieving the loss of their mother and if he has the nerve to be so upset about this and say rude things his own children instead of being so disrespectful and rude because of the Stepmom order step kids or the half-siblings he could have went really went up to to the kids and talked about this personally I actually listen to them instead it seemed like he just cared about what the stepkids wanted Adams about their mother why would they include their step-siblings at the same not know anything about the actual mother so therefore why would we talk to somebody and bring people together about their dead mom when they don't even know the woman therefore they were Italian the right because they wanted to to make memories for their mother and then when he had the nerve to try to destroy it I'm sorry but if it was me I would have smacked him with my dad at that point I would have smacked him and left Apollo would have to move my grandparents but either way I would have got to stay in the house anymore I will not visit them unless it was to see the other siblings ignore them and leave
Look I feel like letting your kid believe Santa is real past like 10-12 depending on the child's maturity is just flat out abusive? Like that's gonna fucking crush them if you let it go on too long, or if their peers find out and bully them.
It's not up to anyone else to tell your child what is or isn't real. It's on the parents. Wait until you're a parent and you will understand the reasoning behind this. And how does anyone know how the other kids will re-act, sure they can be cruel or not. So please...unless you're in a situation, don't be so judgy, because you can be pretty judgy about subjects you really don't get at all. That aunt had no right to over step her boundary.
If the parents were never going to tell her, she would’ve eventually found out from other kids or the internet. And she’s not exactly a child anymore when she’s at the age most kids go through puberty. Letting her believe in myths doesn’t encourage her to think logically, so it could potentially cause problems for her. I really don’t think it’s that serious.
@@adr3anna I'm still standing behind, that no one, not an aunt a grand parent a 3rd cousin twice removed has a right to a child that is NOT yours directly anything. Most likely the child knew that santa isn't real, let kids be kids for goodness sake. Everyone is ooo well she's 13 she should be this or that way or don't be this or that way. Let a kid be a kid instead of wanting to take a fantasy away from them. And please...think logically by taking away a myth, that most likely she knew it wasn't real. Let them grow up on their time line NOT ANYONE else's.
@@bsouthmama3010 She wasn't a child anymore. She would've found out anyway by other students at school or online. They can't protect her and keep her innocent forever. I think it's far more damaging to keep letting her believe a lie. If they kept up with it she probably would've been way more hurt. In the story she's grateful for the truth. Not all parents make wise decisions.
about the santa thing. in the 5th grade i still believed in santa (11 years old) and my friend told me. i was kinda frustrated. like ya obviously after thinking about it he definitely isn’t real, but i just don’t get why she had to ruin it for me. her parents had told her and her siblings in the third grade and because of that she thought if you were older than the 3rd grade you can’t believe in santa or something.
The santa one, I would have gave her one last amazing santa filled christmas make sure it's a holiday to remember, then after a day or two after christmas let them know gently
Makes me wonder if the dad offed his 1st wife and if he was cheating with the new one at the time. 2 years isn't very long to meet and marry someone unless you knew them well before that... They are certainly psychotically cold to the guy's kids from his first marriage...
For the first one, I feel the stepmom is more in the wrong. Its kind of like she brainwashed the dad to believe what she feels. Of course, the dad is in the wrong too, but I don't think ALL the blame should be on him
1st story: You don't snoop around stuff of your kids and discuss whatever you saw in their stuff. It's invasion of privacy. Doesn't give you the right whether you're a parent or older to the child. Probably depend on the situation (drugs, etc.). I know it did hurt the Step Mom but that goes to show what we saw in movies, they're villains LOL. If she respected the late wife, she wouldn't brought it up and accepted the fact that she could never in a million years replace their mom but could be there for the kids whom the late wife left behind. But because Step Mom's like that, I'm not even sure if she and the Dad have relationship longer than this. We never knew if the kids she has with her are also from the Dad or with another man. Last story: I'm siding with the hubby on this one. We can already tell how the wifey isn't comfortable with the whole thing; the way she described the trip from the FIL home visit and saying it's 3 hours away is already difficult? That's like the traffic in our country when you get to and from work! The husband clearly doesn't want anyone else watching his father that's why he planned that out. Respect for him opening this up to his wife and not just deciding on his own. We all grow old some day, unless the wifey has a valid reason why she isn't taking FIL home to take care of, then I disagree with her even if it meant taking her children's room. I've lost someone who is living far away from me and it was a heartache to have her see her children passing her from one place to another because no one wants to care for her. Thank goodness one of her children kept her in and took care of her.
Santa story.... Just something to think on... Maybe she just wanted to believe a little longer ... When my son was 13 he asked if it was ok to believe for 1 more year... Do Santa and the Elf on the Shelf one last time.... So... Maybe she just didn't know how to or feel comfortable asking
I think it’s so messed up that parents even act like Santa is real just to break their children’s hearts later. I never told my kids about Santa at all but they came home from school talking about “Santa coming for Christmas” and I let them know that’s just a story some parents tell their kids to make them act better, but they still get more gifts for being good for me and they were absolutely fine with that. I remember that heart break and I’m not willing to do that to them
I'm sorry your parents hurt you like that and as long as the kids from parenting ideals like this DO NOT go around tattling about it to other children then it fine and if said children do rat out Santa there should consequences for that because Santa's existence is a faith-based entity and it's wrong to judge and hurt others over differing opinions about it. just my views on the Santa debate no offense intended best wishes.
@@samgnz3n530 I completely agree. I told the kids not to tell their classmates because it’ll hurt their feelings. I reinforce that around the holidays and they don’t think about it the rest of the year thank goodness.
I think this is my first time commenting on one of your stories but the last one, about the father who recently lost his mum and wants to move his widowed father into a room that was specifically created for their middle child, really bothered me. When the wife/mother says that "not enough time has passed", she's exactly right. Grief is a process and the most common advice is not to make any big decisions or changes in the first 6-12 months. It's not a good idea either practically or psychologically and often changes are rushed into and not well thought out. That seems to be what's happening here. Bringing the father for a visit for a couple of weeks, to spend time with his son and grandchildren, since he lives 3 hours away might make sense but it's absolutely not recommended to buy or sell a home, move a significant distance, or make other substantial changes when you're still deep in the grief process. Beyond that being a bad idea, I'm kind of horrified that the father just assumed it would be okay to move a child out of a room that had been created for them, without even neutrally soliciting their input. I mean, you could say that Grandad was coming to visit for a couple of weeks because he's sad about Grandma and then ask something like, "Where do you think we should have him sleep while he visits?" Then *listen* to the kids and their responses. Maybe the middle child would suggest moving back in with their sibling and having him stay in their room. Maybe they would say he should stay at a nearby B&B or the parents should sleep in the living room while he visits! But you don't just give a child a room of their own and blithely take it away and give it to someone else! That struck me as very selfish and unthinking on the father's part (which could be as a result of grief, and is a great example of why not to make these decisions too soon). Doing something like this could irretrievably damage the relationship between the father and child at a critical time. Yes, dad lost his mother. But the children also lost their grandmother, and it's likely their first real exposure to death. Their feelings and needs should be respected no less than the father's or grandfather's.
The first story - why couldn't the dad have helped them with their memories of his children's mother? He should have been encouraging that instead of trying to keep them from remembering their mom. Why couldn't he and Rose just have seen it for what it was - children remembering their birth mother and sharing memories that just the three of them have? They could all still do things as a blended family, but Rose and the dad should've understood that the father's three natural children needed to do this. What about Rose's children and their father? Wouldn't they want to do the same? The third story - it wasn't up to the aunt to do this. I do think that the girl was old enough to know, but it should've been up to the parents to dispel this for her. Also, don't tell her around Christmas time. But, yes, she was plenty old enough to know. The fourth story - having the dad move into the house shouldn't have been the son's first idea, especially since they had just had the place renovated in order to give all the children their own rooms, and since their home isn't close to things that aging people need. If the father has enough money to move into an independent living or assisted living place, then that's a much better option than moving him in with a younger family. My mom died a little over a year ago, and Dad stayed in their home they'd been in for over 2 decades until the start of this month (March 2023). This was a very good move for him, and that's probably the best thing for this other elderly gentleman. He can be around others in his age group, get his meals and cleaning done for him, be around other people with whom to socialise, and to be close to medical stuff and the like. It also sounds like the son's not giving his dad time to properly grieve. He just wants to solve what might not actually be a problem instead of letting his dad do things in his own time.
I do not understand how people put themselves over parents or in laws!!!!! When my poppy died in 1986, we moved in with nanny for 2 years!!!! She still was struggling, so she moved into our apartment building on another floor until she died in 2020 at 102 years of age! I wouldn't have it any other way! I was so happy to grow up with my parents and nanny. Then, when my dad died in 2001, my mom and nanny. It was my mom's mom. She did her job as a daughter and helped take care of her. She also takes care of me because I have cancer and am in a wheelchair and autistic. Family is blood!!!!
It can be very draining taking care of an elderly person and it can effect every area of a person's life. I do agree that a person shouldn't abandon their elderly parents or in-laws, however said person has a right to live their life too. it's about finding the right balance with personal life and helping elderly family
Maybe granddad doesn't need or want to move and this is all the husband's delusion to cope with anxiety over the elderly. She explained that she feels like lost her partner when her husband's mom died so instead of taking care of 3 kids and having an equal standing spouse/lover relationship she's taking care of another child her man has become like through grief and she doesn't want a 5th one in her home not if the in-law can afford other housing closer to their home and not at the expense of her children's happiness that she has probably been shielding the failures of their father from for the last couple of years. Also he plan this very selfishly and secretly on his own and she quote says "he'll call me selfish if i really told other reasons" , so this couple needs a way better dynamic of lifestyle opinions before they majorly change their kids lives cause not all grandkids will enjoy or want to live with grandparents which isn't wrong it's that's okay for them to feel like that and as minors by law they come first over adult relatives who can also make other arrangements or sleep on the couch or on a bed in the living room if it isn't meant to be permanent not take a special room made for a child.
Listen, people over 80 years of age believe in a supernatural entity God who lives in the sky and asks them to be good. If the kid was easier to handle because of it and still believed at 13 (which is not even as old as they're trying to depict, let the kid be a kid for heaven's sake), then the lame excuse of oh you'll be bullied later is pure bs. The OP was annoyed and did what she did, let's be real. You don't PREPARE kids to not be bullied, you prevent it. Also, being bullied is a very different thing and teaching your child to make others respect their boundaries is how you go about it. Most importantly, the AUNT didn't see the kid throwing a tantrum, what happened after she happily went back home after ruining the child's Christmas is sth we still don't know. Till the time parents are the legal guardians of a child and tell you NOT to tell sth because they think the child is not ready and it is not sth absolutely essential for their safety, do NOT overstep your boundaries and decide for the child. Parents have the right to do this, not you.
What kind of sick stuff is that? The siblings have a mother in common that they lost and if anything why not support them. Also stop snooping and causing trouble for something like that. For the dad moving in-No. She will be expected to take care of him and also deal with the husband’s grief.
It is the parents' decision when to tell about Santa. Most of us do get teased by our peers and that is how we find out. We all lived. Is she going to explain about babies next? Even though the parents aren't ready for that? For the FIL, my biggest concern is the fact the husband made all these plans without consulting the wife earlier. I get that he is grieving, but that shows a lack of communication in the marriage.
I myself believed in Santa till maybe.....15? There is nothing wrong with it i believe She'll eventually get to know, realise it herself soon She can also play along I too do that My parents know ik the truth Also know that i know that they know about it But we play along not telling each other Btw I'm 20 n doing great in life, not from a rich fam or spoilt or anything It's jus fun nothing else
3rd story - aunt's a major Ah she decided on how a child that was not hers should be told something important without/ignoring parents approval just because of "bullying" fears like after 2nd grade or 3rd grade no one in class talk about Santa in schools thus no one really bully anyone about it imo. Its the age of the internet i'm sorry but kids in public school know by like the age of 5 that the reality of Santa just becomes like God (just a comparison no offense intended) and then it's all about faith and belief of keeping up the rituals/traditions or not as kids since i'm sure way before a trusted family member broke the facade this 13 year-old has had to deal with classmates that take great pleasure in tattling about Santa being fake in class regardless of who would be upset so yeah AH aunt for destroying a precious family bond just cause she doesn't think teens should believe in a fairytale. I'd doubted about Santa since i was 7 due to kids from school but "ignored" them until my mom "told" me when i was 12ish but my brother who 6 & 1/2 years older kept quiet about it until then (and we hated each other) cause he understood the magic of family traditions. Even afterwards I have never stopped believing even well into my twenties now cause to me Santa is as real as i want it to be just as any other person of faith believes in what they believe.
Story 1 There is nothing wrong with OP and her siblings wanting a scrapbook about their late mother. It's normal that they miss their mother and want an album to remember her by. Rose is despicable, she needs to accept that OP and her siblings have a right to remember their mother. By destroying the scrapbook they have out together in their mother's memory the father and stepmother have guaranteed that the children will hate them forever and will leave home as soon as they can!
The poor kids in story 1. What a crappy dad. The Santa Story: the parents wanted something they can hold their daughter small on... to behave like they want it. Good that the aunt did break that.
I have never celebrated Christmas or any Holliday along the lines of it however I don’t really understand why Santa must be a thing to make kids believe in the first place just to have to let them down later? Why not just tell them that you their parents are getting them a gift. Wouldn’t it still encourage them to be good to say they’ll get a better gift if they’re good this year? It just don’t really understand it
i think the guy in story 3 is ta. she would've figured out eventually, why ruin it? i found out around the age of 12 and wish i would've believed for longer. the guy shouldn't have interfered because that's not his child and he should have kept his mouth shut and listened to the parents.
First story: Just because the dad "moved on" doesn't mean the children have or even should. His behaviour is so disgusting. In my mind, he's essentially trying to erase their mother. I see nothing wrong in them remembering and reflecting about the short time they had with their mother.
Edit: Rose is also disgusting. Just trying not to throw up at the thought of this "adult" woman behaving that way. Not worth anyone's time. Good on the elder sibling to recognize how toxic this all is.
Exactly
I agree Rose and the dad are very toxic but that is not the younger siblings fault that we're born after. They shouldn't be cut off too. I feel bad for the 3 who lost their mom. I know too well how that feels, you never get over the loss of a parent when that young. Memories are so important.
How does a memorial book make the siblings and step mother feel excluded? They didn’t know her.. it’s a book to remember their dead mother his heartless can you be.
Yeah, like, if this was about a teacher who had to leave their schiol or something would they still feel excluded? No, it's precisely because they want to replace the mother entirely. The stepmom is feeling jealous and the step siblings were probably manipulated into going along with it, since otherwise they probably wouldn't care.
@@Someone-or8tp my thing also it that the step sisters dad isn’t mentioned… if step sister made a book with her father would this be the same story? Probably not
How is it hurting... ITS NOT EVEN THEIR HALF SIBLING OWN MOTHER 💀💀💀 ALSO DESTROYING THE BOOK??? IS THE DAD NUT?! They do not even have any sympathy... their mom died, you wouldnt expect a CHILD to adjust to a "new" family and everything is fine. The dad also shit, I felt like he doesnt even care about the kids or his dead wife to begin with
@@Nameless82284 if that truly what he is after... then he can just f off cause he is a disgusting human being
I feel like if I were in the first household, I'd just leave. Live with anyone else because you'll never be respected if they can't accept you wanting to remember your deceased mother.
I’d live on a park bench if I had to
First story... Dad and Rose can't just eradicate Mum by pretending she never existed. Maybe if Dad and Rose had given them the room to mourne and remember their Mum they didn't have to do it in secret. And for stepdaughter and half siblings.... they both have their mother.
I read the second story just yesterday, and read the comments. One person suggested that the sister should start ignoring her brother whenever he spoke, to leave the room if he tried to speak, and, if he asks why, that she should tell him that she is now child free. Lol.
But all funninest aside, someone needs to tell him that being child free only means that you don't want to have any/adopt kids of your own. It does not mean that you pretend children don't exist.
The childfree boy seems really unreasonable for me personally. I’m a childfree person since childhood. I have mild autism and hate loud noises, so I find kids really annoying and I know I would be a terrible mother, because I tend to be aggressive when there is noise around me. But I would never do that to a child. When they are to much for me at the moment I apologise and assure them that I’ll be right back, just so they don’t feel sad while I breathe it out. And I really hate his behaviour because he could just be nice and “ged rid of her” nicely, with some kind of sentence like “look auntie has a nice necklace.” and she’ll be gone without feeling sad. Or at least that’s what works for my nieces.
As a person with mild autism too, I totally agree I also have a little cousin who’s annoying and sweet and I still let her be around me and I also hate really loud noises and messiness not really going to be a bad mom in the future. Plus I hate cleaning after kids who r old enough to learn how to clean after their selfs.
how would it hurt them?? they never knew the mom! 🤦🏾♀️
@I am me • 25y ago i’m not too pressed about the fact that he remarried so quickly but come on. i think the kids did a good thing keeping it from them because one, them doing that together would probably make the father realize that maybe he needs more time to grieve. two, as i said, the stepmom and sister did not know the mom! that scrapbook is for the ones who miss their mom and was trying to get more closure. i feel bad but the eldest sister should leave from that household as soon as she can. they don’t deserve that.
Because they were hurt that they weren't included in the book. They want to feel like siblings. I could never fathom not treating my half siblings as real ones. They ARE my siblings! But I understand it was a nice thing for the 3 kids to share about their mom. The dad should put his kids first, but they are family and should try to act like it. The 2 youngest didn't ask to be born after the mom died. Why punish them? They're kids!!!!!
@I am me • 25y ago so true
@@valerieb8541 i agree! i just feel like if they really understood, they would not be hurt, they would be sympathetic
@iamme25yago23 I do agree about Rose shouldn't have read the book. And she definitely should not have shown her kids. But I can see Rose's side too. I understand about trying to make blended families work. I agree if the op cuts off the dad but it's sad. She shouldn't cut off the kids. Cut Rose and the dad but not the kids. I'm autistic and have stage 3 brain cancer so maybe I just don't get it. I never cut off my half siblings. They cut me off because I'm in a wheelchair so their loss!
The aunt explained it right. The niece can still believe in Santa. I do. Santa is the spirit of giving and lives in the hearts of all who give.
I agree but I think the parents have a right to be upset since it’s none of her business. Most people grow out of it on their own
@@lunarialoonatic exactly!! it isn't his kid and he should've kept out of it
@@ril_eyy I mean can you imagine getting bullied for believing in Santa though? I can see where Op was coming from here, and I can see where the parents are coming from. Yes, it’s not their kid, but I think they saved them from years of teasing and possible bullying.
@@PeytDog let the parents be in charge of that though.. they know the child better than op ever will and they made the decision to not tell her, she shouldn't have gone against that. if something did happen, then so be it, that's the parents fault but it's their child & not hers
@@PeytDog still I know people who believe it in now and won't be told he doesn't exist cause they will just ignore them I get they meant no harm but it still none of her buissnes the parents will tell her when they ready
the first story is so sad. bring the three siblings together w/ their three stepsiblings in a diff way. or let them talk ab their mom and allow them to emphasize that the wound is fresh and the stepsiblings would feel the same if their mother died. and also explain that they didn't hate their new siblings (if true) but they also miss their mother and should be able to grieve.
Dad and stepmom can probably be prosecuted if they destroy that book. I'd go to police and child services to see if anything can be done to prevent the destruction of the book.
1. NTA. They never knew their stepmom, so they decided make a photo album of their late mom as a coping mechanism. The stepmom is an AH here for snooping and the dad is an AH.
2. NTA. Just because they're child-free, does not mean they're gonna be AH to a child. That's not what it means and not how it works. The brother is 16 and was acting like a child.
3. NTA. OP's just looking out for the niece.
4. NTA. I know they're grieving, but if he wants to move his father in so bad, why is the middle child get to be kicked out of his room, which is unfair?
But that wasn't their place to do that
I got the impression that the father had been unfaithful and married his mistress 2 years after his wife died without caring about his children needs
The Santa Story
Op isn't in the wrong because she appreciated being told the truth and she's old enough now that it won't fully destroy Christmas for her. Plus, they're right, kids are horrific bullies when someone is even slightly different.
It's only the parents that are mad
The dad and stepmother are trying to ERASE the memories of the kids' mother. That is what is absolutely despicable. It's fine if they want to have a separate scrapbook for all of them, but this is just for the siblings who lost their mom and a way for them to remember her. There is nothing wrong with that, and I feel like possibly the stepmother and father are trying to force things which what might be why they don't see her as a mother (aside from the fact that she was snooping and invading one of the kids provacy).
Story 1:
Wonder how the "real" siblings managed for the two years before their father's remarriage.
Pretty independent probably.
Especially considering dating time, either dad was already moving on from mom before her death or not long after.
Oooh the Worst feeling when your parents read your diary 😮😮😮
I knew since i was young that i never wanted kids but i still love every niece and nephew that is born and kids love me even if i dont quite know what to do with children
If my partner passed away and my children wanted to have that I would actually encourage that like "hey if you want to talk about dad we can all do it together you dont need to hide it" and my new partner didnt like that f them
As a kid who's had to share a room with all 3 of her siblings for almost 15 tears including being moved around and sleeping in the same bed bcuz our grandma needed a place to stay (and our mom and dad put her comfort above that of their children) I can see why she would not want him in the house. I would'nt either
In the last story, the husband probably hadn’t thought about losing his parents until it actually happened, and he wants to spend as much time as possible with his father before he passes.
12:27 Regarding this last story, another thing to consider that has been brought up by other posters is this: what does dad think about this plan? Does he want to sell his house and move in with his son?
I feel conflicted about the Santa story. On one hand, parents should make most decisions about their child when they are still children. On the other hand, telling the lie of Santa is debatable to begin with, and one could argue the niece deserved to know. I suppose it all really comes down to your personal views on the Santa myth.
the niece *could have* been made fun of at school, yes, but she is not his child! it's not his responsibility to take care of her, it's her parents and he was wayy out of line for doing that
A 13 year old is plenty old enough though to know that
@@ril_eyy it was their aunt
@@ril_eyy no, she's old enough to know
@@strangeanimations588 whoops my bad i thought it was a dude
10:17 the wife isn’t in the wrong. this happened to a couple which are friends with my parents and they did move him in and now they became obssesive about him and don’t go out anymore.
For the Santa one, I feel like it was up to her to figure it out or for her parents to tell her. I was never told but I eventually figured it out on my own. There was no need to meddle in another family's business since it wasn't harmful for the child. She was inserting herself in their business when she didn't need to at all against the parents wishes. She even asked the parents first because she knew that it was something she was overstepping her bounds by doing it.
Story 1. The parents are insane if they think the children who are grieving shouldn't grieve. Why would the stepmom or half-siblings be included if they never knew the mum??
Story 2. "Childfree" isn't a pass to be a jerk regardless. I understand that he doesn't want to interact with kids and knows it but he could've set boundaries with the cousin straight away if she keeps doing it.
Story 3. OP's just looking out for her but it sucks that now the niece has to live with the truth that she's been lied to by her own parents for all of her life. It's also a bit sucky that OP did this behind the parents' backs instead of trying to reason with them before since they should've put their daughter first regardless.
Story 4. It does sound selfish but putting your family first is kinda iffy but never selfish to do. The FIL moving in IS a drastic change that would affect the whole family, especially since it seems unlikely that the FIL would leave to spend his twilight hours. OP could try to find a compromise but she should definitely explain to her husband her own worries if they want to move forward.
story 1: i feel there is a hole behavior from all sides. rose, dad, and op too! the whole "real siblings" thing sounds like the other kids was never accepted in the first place. they seemed hurt by their mother's death and started to cope and hate rose for it. totally normal., not good but normal. i can understand the behavior but its not the dad's fault. destroying the book is stupid and terrible on that i agree. dad and rose did not handle that well. therapy is needed for all of em! the kids need to process and the parents need to be understanding of that process.
Last story. I think she should go to the therapy sessions to discuss this. I this the therapist could help both sides hear each other. She really needs to tell him what is bothering her about this idea, but in a way that doesn't threaten him or get his back up. Face it. This is a lot more work for her! Maybe they can sell grandpas home to build a "Grandpa house on their land?
Personally, i don't mind giving up my room for my grandparents.
(I already did)
As long as the husband takes full responsibility for his own father, i don't really see a problem.
The Dad is not currently taking of his responsibilities for the people living in the house because he's checked out. It's never mentioned if the kid's are grieving either, or if they are willing to share. The kid's are not acknowledged at all except as obstacles to Dad's goal, and a pawn in Mom's goal. That means neither parent is currently handling their responsibilities to those in the house, so Dad isn't going to be handling more responsibility.
I personally would hate to live with grandparents. My own parents are already so nosy. Especially the middle child being 12, it's essential time for starting to need personal space and a little independence.
I had a friend around 15 who believe in Santa because she lived in a trailer… she couldn’t afford much so it didn’t make sense that her parents could afford to do Christmas
Also, the dad in the first story is clearly trying to erase every memorable thing of his first wife and is trying to force his kids into replacing their mother with their new stepmom. How is he comparing his new children and wife being hurt by exclusion when his previous children lost their mother and had their dad immediately get remarried, have kids and move on from her death? Grief is different for everyone, and this man is pissed because his happy fantasy of starting a new life is being challenged by his kids missing their mother
I’m so beyond thankful for your videos. I always look forward to every time you post. It’s the sunshine my day always needs!
Santa, some people are older than 13 and still believe in him. I don’t see anything wrong with that though. When I was like 5ish I thought I was Santa 😂.
I don’t see anything wrong with believing in Santa at any age if it makes the person keep their spirits up 😊
The memory book: I can't with this family. How are you going to be angry and upset and jealous over these kids losing their mother and wanting to remember her? This is for them. This is for them to heal and remember. These people should be supporting this idea instead of getting angry and trying to destroy the book. I'm glad OP was able to save it. I hope they all cut the father and the rest of the family out of their lives for good because the family is absolute toxic trash.
The childfree 16 year old: Like I don't even know how to respond to this. You can not want kids, but that doesn't mean you ignore every single child on the planet especially if they're family. Would it really kill him to talk to her for a few hours? Being childfree doesn't mean ignoring all kids. It means you choose not to have kids of your own.
The Santa: I believe the aunt was right to explain it especially the way she did. The fact that this girl wasn't already being teased for still believing in Santa is kind of shocking, honestly. I can understand the parents wanting to be the ones to tell her, but they clearly weren't too keen on clueing her in so somebody had to or she would have found out in a much more hurtful way from people in her school teasing her for still believing that a man travels around the world and delivers presents to all kids. I remember discovering Santa wasn't real when I was 9 (I found the Santa presents in my parents's closet), but I have a little brother who is 5 years younger than me, so I just kept it going for quite some time. I would always talk about how Santa was real and I remember my mom taking me shopping when I was 12 and explaining that Santa wasn't real and she wanted me to know so that I wouldn't talk about it with my friends and get made fun of for still believing. I had to break it to her that I had known for the past 3 years and I was just playing along for my brother (who was 7 at the time). She was relieved that I wasn't going around telling my friends that Santa was real because then I would have been made fun of. Also I know people who are in their 30s who are well aware that Santa isn't real, but their parents still buy them presents from Santa even though they know that their kids stopped believing 20 years ago.
The moving the father in: When you are a couple, this is definitely something that needs to be discussed together. I definitely understand wanting the father in the house to make it easier for him because he is grieving. I went through it with my grandma when my grandpa passed. She found it hard to be in the house that she shared with her husband for 56 years. She split her time between our house and her house for about a year and then she eventually sold her house and moved in with us. It's a big change bringing someone else into your house even if they are family. Adjustments need to be made. I think the husband has every right to want to move his father into their home, but the wife has every right to be against it. Communication is key at least between the husband and wife. I think the wife needs to make her opinion known or she will end up resenting it and that will cause more problems. Maybe look into places that are close by that he can move into that way he is close and they can visit more easily but they don't have to comprise on their living situation. Is there another family member that maybe has more space that he can move in with so that way he is with family and not alone. They just really need to sit down with each other and say their piece and find a compromise somewhere in there because it's a huge ask and it's a huge change and if not everybody is on board, it's going to be problematic. Also you have to factor in what he would be bringing with him when he moves in. My grandma found it hard to part with a lot of her stuff because of the memories attached to it and therefore she brought a lot of it to our house when she moved in. We don't mind, but it is something that needs to be considered as well and if this father is still in the grieving stage, he will probably be the same way with knick knacks that are at his house. Things that don't seem significant will be coming with him because there is a memory of his wife attached to it.
I mean as an indian most women live with their in-laws after marriage and built a good connection with all of the relatives of the husband's side... Coping with the loss of your partner at an old age is hard and the husband is also grieving the loss which is sad and he doesn't want to leave his father alone cuz he understands what his father is going through and she should probably find a way to make this work anf take some responsibility for their in-laws too...
The aunt telling her niece about santa not being real... stepped over a line. It's not her kid and should have respected the parents wishes. It doesn't matter if it went fine or if she might get hypothecally bullied or whatever. That wasn't her business.
Not everyone would tease someone for believing in Santa. I did til I was 15. I was devastated when I found out. I'm autistic so it just was comforting to me. I suspected it but rather pretended. My classmates didn't tease me because I didn't talk to them. And if they did, I wouldn't care. I wish my parents had waited til i found out on my own. I had to grow up too fast after that.
I’m sure the little girl is grateful I’m the third one but she would have found out on her own. The parents being mad is understandable though. They probably wanted to just let her grow out of it. That’s what my parents did with my sister and I. We didn’t tell people at school, but we did grow out of it at 14-15. No harm. I would be pissed if I were the parents to. It really isn’t any of the girl’s business. Most kids grow out of it naturally
Her reason for telling her is 101% valid. Kids just wait for an opportunity to jump on the bully train. The ones I grew up with literally pulled bullshit dumb reasons out of their asses to bully me even though I never ever did or say anything wrong or bad, they just collectively decided for me to be the black sheep and punching bag. So serving them opportunities on a plate by yourself at this point is just borderline you asking to be bullied. And the fact that the little girl took it in stride with no tantrum shows how mature she is...unlike her bitching parents who acted like elementary school kids. I share the aunt's mentality, as an aunt myself I don't hesitate to call out my little niece when she's wrong and won't think twice about reprimanding her when she crosses a line. Such things do not slide by me.
She's not a little girl she's 13
As of the first story Rose didn't care cuz she was truly hurt she would have came to the girl directly instead she went and snitched just wanted to start drama and what she did was entirely wrong the dad is still in the wrong because how can he get upset with his first kids are still grieving the loss of their mother and if he has the nerve to be so upset about this and say rude things his own children instead of being so disrespectful and rude because of the Stepmom order step kids or the half-siblings he could have went really went up to to the kids and talked about this personally I actually listen to them instead it seemed like he just cared about what the stepkids wanted Adams about their mother why would they include their step-siblings at the same not know anything about the actual mother so therefore why would we talk to somebody and bring people together about their dead mom when they don't even know the woman therefore they were Italian the right because they wanted to to make memories for their mother and then when he had the nerve to try to destroy it I'm sorry but if it was me I would have smacked him with my dad at that point I would have smacked him and left Apollo would have to move my grandparents but either way I would have got to stay in the house anymore I will not visit them unless it was to see the other siblings ignore them and leave
Punctuation is your friend, baby, but I hear you.
@@Nameless82284i wouldn't say always....but it does happen a lot, that's for sure.
@@winniethepooht5776 lol thanks sorry I messed up I didn't proof read
@@Nameless82284 that's some respect right there
*sigh* I really miss threatening my kids with Santa Claus 🎅🏻
Been watching you for so many years❤ I always find my way back to your videos
Look I feel like letting your kid believe Santa is real past like 10-12 depending on the child's maturity is just flat out abusive? Like that's gonna fucking crush them if you let it go on too long, or if their peers find out and bully them.
It's not up to anyone else to tell your child what is or isn't real. It's on the parents. Wait until you're a parent and you will understand the reasoning behind this. And how does anyone know how the other kids will re-act, sure they can be cruel or not. So please...unless you're in a situation, don't be so judgy, because you can be pretty judgy about subjects you really don't get at all. That aunt had no right to over step her boundary.
If the parents were never going to tell her, she would’ve eventually found out from other kids or the internet. And she’s not exactly a child anymore when she’s at the age most kids go through puberty. Letting her believe in myths doesn’t encourage her to think logically, so it could potentially cause problems for her. I really don’t think it’s that serious.
@@adr3anna I'm still standing behind, that no one, not an aunt a grand parent a 3rd cousin twice removed has a right to a child that is NOT yours directly anything. Most likely the child knew that santa isn't real, let kids be kids for goodness sake. Everyone is ooo well she's 13 she should be this or that way or don't be this or that way. Let a kid be a kid instead of wanting to take a fantasy away from them. And please...think logically by taking away a myth, that most likely she knew it wasn't real. Let them grow up on their time line NOT ANYONE else's.
@@theresaeng5330 she's not a child anymore. She's old enough to not be lied to anymore.
@@bsouthmama3010 she isn't a child and she wasn't harmed
@@bsouthmama3010 She wasn't a child anymore. She would've found out anyway by other students at school or online. They can't protect her and keep her innocent forever. I think it's far more damaging to keep letting her believe a lie. If they kept up with it she probably would've been way more hurt. In the story she's grateful for the truth. Not all parents make wise decisions.
i read the title and immediately just cringed bc ik this one was going to hurt 😭
Yayyy! I just sat down to eat dinner when this posted and now I have something to watch lol
about the santa thing. in the 5th grade i still believed in santa (11 years old) and my friend told me. i was kinda frustrated. like ya obviously after thinking about it he definitely isn’t real, but i just don’t get why she had to ruin it for me. her parents had told her and her siblings in the third grade and because of that she thought if you were older than the 3rd grade you can’t believe in santa or something.
The santa one, I would have gave her one last amazing santa filled christmas make sure it's a holiday to remember, then after a day or two after christmas let them know gently
Makes me wonder if the dad offed his 1st wife and if he was cheating with the new one at the time. 2 years isn't very long to meet and marry someone unless you knew them well before that... They are certainly psychotically cold to the guy's kids from his first marriage...
For the first one, I feel the stepmom is more in the wrong. Its kind of like she brainwashed the dad to believe what she feels. Of course, the dad is in the wrong too, but I don't think ALL the blame should be on him
1st story: You don't snoop around stuff of your kids and discuss whatever you saw in their stuff. It's invasion of privacy. Doesn't give you the right whether you're a parent or older to the child. Probably depend on the situation (drugs, etc.). I know it did hurt the Step Mom but that goes to show what we saw in movies, they're villains LOL. If she respected the late wife, she wouldn't brought it up and accepted the fact that she could never in a million years replace their mom but could be there for the kids whom the late wife left behind. But because Step Mom's like that, I'm not even sure if she and the Dad have relationship longer than this. We never knew if the kids she has with her are also from the Dad or with another man.
Last story: I'm siding with the hubby on this one. We can already tell how the wifey isn't comfortable with the whole thing; the way she described the trip from the FIL home visit and saying it's 3 hours away is already difficult? That's like the traffic in our country when you get to and from work! The husband clearly doesn't want anyone else watching his father that's why he planned that out. Respect for him opening this up to his wife and not just deciding on his own. We all grow old some day, unless the wifey has a valid reason why she isn't taking FIL home to take care of, then I disagree with her even if it meant taking her children's room. I've lost someone who is living far away from me and it was a heartache to have her see her children passing her from one place to another because no one wants to care for her. Thank goodness one of her children kept her in and took care of her.
Santa story.... Just something to think on... Maybe she just wanted to believe a little longer ... When my son was 13 he asked if it was ok to believe for 1 more year... Do Santa and the Elf on the Shelf one last time.... So... Maybe she just didn't know how to or feel comfortable asking
I think it’s so messed up that parents even act like Santa is real just to break their children’s hearts later. I never told my kids about Santa at all but they came home from school talking about “Santa coming for Christmas” and I let them know that’s just a story some parents tell their kids to make them act better, but they still get more gifts for being good for me and they were absolutely fine with that. I remember that heart break and I’m not willing to do that to them
I agree 100%. give your kids presents for Christmas but don't tell them some guy with a red coat in a sled left them
I'm sorry your parents hurt you like that and as long as the kids from parenting ideals like this DO NOT go around tattling about it to other children then it fine and if said children do rat out Santa there should consequences for that because Santa's existence is a faith-based entity and it's wrong to judge and hurt others over differing opinions about it. just my views on the Santa debate no offense intended best wishes.
@@samgnz3n530 I completely agree. I told the kids not to tell their classmates because it’ll hurt their feelings. I reinforce that around the holidays and they don’t think about it the rest of the year thank goodness.
I think this is my first time commenting on one of your stories but the last one, about the father who recently lost his mum and wants to move his widowed father into a room that was specifically created for their middle child, really bothered me. When the wife/mother says that "not enough time has passed", she's exactly right. Grief is a process and the most common advice is not to make any big decisions or changes in the first 6-12 months. It's not a good idea either practically or psychologically and often changes are rushed into and not well thought out. That seems to be what's happening here. Bringing the father for a visit for a couple of weeks, to spend time with his son and grandchildren, since he lives 3 hours away might make sense but it's absolutely not recommended to buy or sell a home, move a significant distance, or make other substantial changes when you're still deep in the grief process. Beyond that being a bad idea, I'm kind of horrified that the father just assumed it would be okay to move a child out of a room that had been created for them, without even neutrally soliciting their input. I mean, you could say that Grandad was coming to visit for a couple of weeks because he's sad about Grandma and then ask something like, "Where do you think we should have him sleep while he visits?" Then *listen* to the kids and their responses. Maybe the middle child would suggest moving back in with their sibling and having him stay in their room. Maybe they would say he should stay at a nearby B&B or the parents should sleep in the living room while he visits! But you don't just give a child a room of their own and blithely take it away and give it to someone else! That struck me as very selfish and unthinking on the father's part (which could be as a result of grief, and is a great example of why not to make these decisions too soon). Doing something like this could irretrievably damage the relationship between the father and child at a critical time. Yes, dad lost his mother. But the children also lost their grandmother, and it's likely their first real exposure to death. Their feelings and needs should be respected no less than the father's or grandfather's.
The first story - why couldn't the dad have helped them with their memories of his children's mother? He should have been encouraging that instead of trying to keep them from remembering their mom. Why couldn't he and Rose just have seen it for what it was - children remembering their birth mother and sharing memories that just the three of them have? They could all still do things as a blended family, but Rose and the dad should've understood that the father's three natural children needed to do this. What about Rose's children and their father? Wouldn't they want to do the same?
The third story - it wasn't up to the aunt to do this. I do think that the girl was old enough to know, but it should've been up to the parents to dispel this for her. Also, don't tell her around Christmas time. But, yes, she was plenty old enough to know.
The fourth story - having the dad move into the house shouldn't have been the son's first idea, especially since they had just had the place renovated in order to give all the children their own rooms, and since their home isn't close to things that aging people need. If the father has enough money to move into an independent living or assisted living place, then that's a much better option than moving him in with a younger family.
My mom died a little over a year ago, and Dad stayed in their home they'd been in for over 2 decades until the start of this month (March 2023). This was a very good move for him, and that's probably the best thing for this other elderly gentleman. He can be around others in his age group, get his meals and cleaning done for him, be around other people with whom to socialise, and to be close to medical stuff and the like.
It also sounds like the son's not giving his dad time to properly grieve. He just wants to solve what might not actually be a problem instead of letting his dad do things in his own time.
I do not understand how people put themselves over parents or in laws!!!!! When my poppy died in 1986, we moved in with nanny for 2 years!!!! She still was struggling, so she moved into our apartment building on another floor until she died in 2020 at 102 years of age! I wouldn't have it any other way! I was so happy to grow up with my parents and nanny. Then, when my dad died in 2001, my mom and nanny. It was my mom's mom. She did her job as a daughter and helped take care of her. She also takes care of me because I have cancer and am in a wheelchair and autistic. Family is blood!!!!
It can be very draining taking care of an elderly person and it can effect every area of a person's life. I do agree that a person shouldn't abandon their elderly parents or in-laws, however said person has a right to live their life too. it's about finding the right balance with personal life and helping elderly family
Maybe granddad doesn't need or want to move and this is all the husband's delusion to cope with anxiety over the elderly. She explained that she feels like lost her partner when her husband's mom died so instead of taking care of 3 kids and having an equal standing spouse/lover relationship she's taking care of another child her man has become like through grief and she doesn't want a 5th one in her home not if the in-law can afford other housing closer to their home and not at the expense of her children's happiness that she has probably been shielding the failures of their father from for the last couple of years.
Also he plan this very selfishly and secretly on his own and she quote says "he'll call me selfish if i really told other reasons" , so this couple needs a way better dynamic of lifestyle opinions before they majorly change their kids lives cause not all grandkids will enjoy or want to live with grandparents which isn't wrong it's that's okay for them to feel like that and as minors by law they come first over adult relatives who can also make other arrangements or sleep on the couch or on a bed in the living room if it isn't meant to be permanent not take a special room made for a child.
Hiii! You look great, as always! Can’t wait to finish the video and go watch more! ❤
I wish i believed in santa for that long my parents never even tried to make him seem real so i never believed in him😢
yeah me too, i believed in him till about age 7 when my grandma said 'did you like the presents i got you?'
Listen, people over 80 years of age believe in a supernatural entity God who lives in the sky and asks them to be good. If the kid was easier to handle because of it and still believed at 13 (which is not even as old as they're trying to depict, let the kid be a kid for heaven's sake), then the lame excuse of oh you'll be bullied later is pure bs. The OP was annoyed and did what she did, let's be real. You don't PREPARE kids to not be bullied, you prevent it. Also, being bullied is a very different thing and teaching your child to make others respect their boundaries is how you go about it. Most importantly, the AUNT didn't see the kid throwing a tantrum, what happened after she happily went back home after ruining the child's Christmas is sth we still don't know.
Till the time parents are the legal guardians of a child and tell you NOT to tell sth because they think the child is not ready and it is not sth absolutely essential for their safety, do NOT overstep your boundaries and decide for the child. Parents have the right to do this, not you.
Someone PLEASE send me the link for the first one, I can't find it anywhere for the life of me😭😭
a lot of people are turning into brandon nowadays lol
What kind of sick stuff is that? The siblings have a mother in common that they lost and if anything why not support them. Also stop snooping and causing trouble for something like that. For the dad moving in-No. She will be expected to take care of him and also deal with the husband’s grief.
It is the parents' decision when to tell about Santa. Most of us do get teased by our peers and that is how we find out. We all lived. Is she going to explain about babies next? Even though the parents aren't ready for that? For the FIL, my biggest concern is the fact the husband made all these plans without consulting the wife earlier. I get that he is grieving, but that shows a lack of communication in the marriage.
I can't wait to watch the video!🎉
I need to find the first post somehow.
Can someone please tell me what sub it was posted on?
I still believed in Santa Claus at 13 but not 🚫 at 15 any more 😘.
I myself believed in Santa till maybe.....15?
There is nothing wrong with it i believe
She'll eventually get to know, realise it herself soon
She can also play along
I too do that
My parents know ik the truth
Also know that i know that they know about it
But we play along not telling each other
Btw I'm 20 n doing great in life, not from a rich fam or spoilt or anything
It's jus fun nothing else
15?!
3rd story - aunt's a major Ah she decided on how a child that was not hers should be told something important without/ignoring parents approval just because of "bullying" fears like after 2nd grade or 3rd grade no one in class talk about Santa in schools thus no one really bully anyone about it imo. Its the age of the internet i'm sorry but kids in public school know by like the age of 5 that the reality of Santa just becomes like God (just a comparison no offense intended) and then it's all about faith and belief of keeping up the rituals/traditions or not as kids since i'm sure way before a trusted family member broke the facade this 13 year-old has had to deal with classmates that take great pleasure in tattling about Santa being fake in class regardless of who would be upset so yeah AH aunt for destroying a precious family bond just cause she doesn't think teens should believe in a fairytale. I'd doubted about Santa since i was 7 due to kids from school but "ignored" them until my mom "told" me when i was 12ish but my brother who 6 & 1/2 years older kept quiet about it until then (and we hated each other) cause he understood the magic of family traditions. Even afterwards I have never stopped believing even well into my twenties now cause to me Santa is as real as i want it to be just as any other person of faith believes in what they believe.
Oh btw, what happened to the gaming channel?
PLEASE REACT TO MASKED ARAB 🥰❤️❤️
I love your videos kyutie
Story 1 There is nothing wrong with OP and her siblings wanting a scrapbook about their late mother. It's normal that they miss their mother and want an album to remember her by. Rose is despicable, she needs to accept that OP and her siblings have a right to remember their mother. By destroying the scrapbook they have out together in their mother's memory the father and stepmother have guaranteed that the children will hate them forever and will leave home as soon as they can!
Yeah they are horrible
The poor kids in story 1. What a crappy dad. The Santa Story: the parents wanted something they can hold their daughter small on... to behave like they want it. Good that the aunt did break that.
HEY ELLEN LOVE U VIDS
I think Ellen should diversify her content a bit again. I miss the gaming and other reactions and stuff. Idk if I'm alone on this but yea
she has another account called gaming with kyutie/ellskyu
santas not real?
🧍
edit: wait when the hell did I do this-
Hi Ellen!
Second!
Here's your silver medal! ====> 🥈
❤
Third!
Here's your bronze medal! ====> 🥉
I have never celebrated Christmas or any Holliday along the lines of it however I don’t really understand why Santa must be a thing to make kids believe in the first place just to have to let them down later? Why not just tell them that you their parents are getting them a gift. Wouldn’t it still encourage them to be good to say they’ll get a better gift if they’re good this year? It just don’t really understand it
Shadow boxer I’m I second
Nope. Fifth.
first❤
Eleventh.
First!
Congrats!
Here's your gold medal! ====> 🥇
Aa kyutie I love your videos!
i think the guy in story 3 is ta. she would've figured out eventually, why ruin it? i found out around the age of 12 and wish i would've believed for longer. the guy shouldn't have interfered because that's not his child and he should have kept his mouth shut and listened to the parents.
Aunt. The aunt told her niece.
@@jamiethal1319 sorry that's my bad i thought it was a dude