How to heal through relapses of the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Relapses might be one of the hardest parts on your healing journey. In this video we'll go over how you can heal through them!
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HOW TO HEAL THE FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
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#attachmentstyle #fearfulavoidantattachmentstyle #healing
This was so brave and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I have recovered most of my traumas. Extremely proud of the growth and clarity. Been in an incredibly good place for a long time, partly because I've finally been strong enough to be single as well as pursue my dreams. But i just got triggered because I guess i was feeling something for someone and it brought it all back and I've been panicking only because I am feeling something. Nothing has concretely happened. So i remembered this attachment style and found your video. I'll do what you suggested. Whim Hoff breathing techniques also help... I just hope I'll be able to let someone healthy into my life one day and feel secure. Relationships seem to trigger this feeling the most for me. Friendships as well sometimes.
If you like art btw and are curious about my healing journey :) I've been making videos too, trying to spread the light in my own way ❤️
Keep up the amazing work. This warmed my heart
Ah yes, relationships and feelings can definitely trigger this. But you have laid a foundation that will help you heal the stuff that comes up while approaching or being in a relationship! I'm so happy you are here, and I want you to know that there will come a day when even relationships seem easier and you can be in a good place IN a relationship! I will check out your art!
@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 so wonderful to read your response. I feel the warmth. I really like your energy from your videos. Keep sharing in the authentic way that you are doing 🥰❤️
Alright I'm watching one of your video's and I love how you're narrating it. 'As long as I have every color in front of me, I can make any shade that I want' And I immediately thought: you also have EVERYTHING inside you right now to create a happy life. Right now, you may be mixing the colors in a way that the shades are not what you want. But when you learn how, the exact same skills that create the pain, coping mechanisms and triggers, can create love, peace and happiness. Thank you for sharing your art, I love it, and I loved hearing how free you feel as you paint. It definitely is a beatiful metaphor for creating your life.
I Bow to the vulnerability shown here ...
Much gratitude... allot of practical wisdom as well....
Thank you for this! ❤
Also 07:13 You look like a princess with your hair updo😊
I love this channel so much!! Thank you Paulien
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable with us!! So brave and helpful!♥️
The comparison to being sober and drunk is sooooo good and helpful 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I use tapping and breathing techniques which do help me feel calmer, but personally what I find works best for me is writing. I find somehow clarifying my thoughts and getting them out in a coherent fashion helps me calm down. Writing works for me because it allows me time to actually understand what I am feeling and express it. If I start to express what I am feeling badly I can simply delete it and rephrase it. When I express myself verbally often my brain is working so fast because of my anxiety that my expression is often garbled and confusing for the listener and that often leads my brain to go off on tangents which becomes even more confusing for the listener. The worst thing is that when this is happening I realise it and start to over explain to try and make my point in a desperate attempt that the other person will get it. My nervous system becomes more and more dysregulated which means I not only feel agitated and frustrated with myself because I feel I have made my point poorly and also made myself look an idiot. I then ruminate on things for a long period afterwards which means my body does not calm down for sometimes days afternoon as my brain constant rehashed what I have said and I beat myself up for having expressed myself badly. The difference with how I feel with when I get those thoughts and feelings out by writing is immense. When I write I can just dump my thoughts out like slapping a lump of clay down on to a pottery wheel. I am then able to mould them into the shape I want. Then when they are in the basic format I am happy with I can rework them to make sure it is exactly what I wanted to say. I find that this whole process relaxes me in a way that nothing else does because not only does it help me understand what I am thinking and feeling and know I have expressed it coherently, but ideas and feelings I had bubbling under the surface, like lava from a volcano, come spewing out and the nervous energy that I have been putting in subconsciously to suppress them also dissipates. The beauty for me is also that I don't even care if someone else reads them. This is not driven by a need for external validation, but a desire for inner calm
This is amazing, and so good that you figured this out about yourself! I love it, thank you for sharing. I started 'braindumping' as I called it, and it sounds similar to what you describe. Really does help! Wish that anyone reading it could try to see if it will bring some relief :)
Thank you for being so vulnerable and I will try to practice what you shared.
So brave! Thank you for sharing. Tapping on resistance is such a good idea, a good place to start to face what is there. Thanks again! X
i’m beyond blessed to have come across your channel and especially this video it’s helped me so much already. thank you thank you for sharing it means so much to me and many others i’m sure
Paulien I hardly appreciate your benefical content and the efforts that have done in it you are such God's gift to us as you are deeply understanding us and soothing our emotions
Thank you so much and may God bless you ❤
You are so very welcome!! I am happy you are here and see my content as valuable!❤
"it's human to feel shitty"
"life happen i dont have be perfect"
"you don't have to work so hard" " you don't have to do something all the time"
" your body is healing constantly, the more you get out of the way by allowing your feeling, the more"
"i am good enough as i am" " i get to receive anything i want just because of who i am"
I just want to thank you!🙈🙈 your videos came at the most perfect time with something that I’ve been struggling with so deeply for the last year and a half...it’s been so hard...so thank you
Ah I'm so happy you're here!
Honestly Paulien I had to laugh at the "now I just feel a bit of unease..and this...and this...aaaaand maybe some panic..."
Most relatable thing EVER.
i have not enough words to say how i feel grateful for this video, many of your words just hit my heart and parts of me feel so seen and understood 💓💗
You bring up such excellent points to remember, notably how healing doesn't mean you feel better all the time, and that feeling bad is part of being human.
That was so beautiful, thank you for sharing this❤, i have been struggling the past two years with exactly what you were saying and it was so hard to explain
The tapping started at about 14:30! (I really needed that and didn't have enough capacity for the lead in so posting to share with others.)
Thank you for sharing the tapping/EFT practice!
Totally get it, and you're so kind for putting it here!
When I tap I just feel lots of tenseness increasing in my chest but no releases or crying. Any tips?
Great video on EFT, thank you. The look in your eyes before and after …. So recognizable.
Such a helpful video, thank you ❤
Hey!! Could you please please please please put up more tapping videos?
I will look into this!!❤
Thank you so much for this 🙏
Thanks for sharing!
On an unrelated note, we have the same decor style. My bedroom was orange, dark wood furniture, and a tree 😋
Haha love it!
What’s the difference from the crash state and the trigger state? Is it the spiraling?
Yes! The crash state is feeling completely out of control, not being able to think clearly. Just triggered to the max. When you are triggered, you can also be triggered to such an extent that you can actually work through and heal the trigger, which is hard in the crash state. Does that make sense? :)
@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 Yes that make sense, thank you!
Hi Paulien,
Love your work!
If you have any experience with insecurities affecting your relationship due to the FAA style (meaning feeling replaceable, feeling like you're insufficient when other attractive women are around your significant other, and having trust issues because of that) could you please make a video about it?
I could not find it mentioned in other videos of yours:)
Hi! I will definitely put this one on the list, thank you!
How often in one session do we have tap?