My Husband Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore
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- Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024
- On this episode, we hear about:
• A husband who no longer wants to be intimate with his wife
• A woman struggling with her faith after growing up in a legalistic home
• A man ashamed after sleeping with a coworker
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After she divorces him he’ll go around telling everyone, “she left me for no reason”.
Well yeah, she’s has been pretending a ok marriage all along.
@@ThePrincessWorrior She hasn't though. They've been in couples' therapy where he's walked out, so clearly she has been there saying things are not okay, and he leaves so that he doesn't have to respond. He's pretending he is not hearing what she said, and he will indeed tell everyone she decided to divorce on her own, he told this to her.
Well yeah, because if it were a man in a sexless marriage and he finally left, it would have been "he left me for another woman" and she would get sympathy and how dare he leave his wife and kids and why couldn't he just keep it in his pants? This man will play the victim just as she would if she's not putting out.
Exactly
It's a canon event 😆🤣
I’ve been married for 18 years. If my husband was texting another woman while basically ignoring me? It’s time to go. This man is basically telling you everything you need to know without explicitly saying it.
Narcissistic reverse discard
@@citigirlcountrified1927that's exactly what I thought about this guy the entire time. With the way he behaves, he's got to be a narcissist. Never taking ownership for his wrongdoings and blaming her for his failures. The absolute hallmarks of a narcissist.
He just wants her to be the one to formally end things. As John said, he is too much of a coward to do it.
It's one of those situations where we all say "if that was me I'd leave" and maybe you would, but it's almost never that straight forward or easy.
Or no one would stay in a bad relationship.
I can almost guarantee there's more to this, I bet he's very emotionally abusive.
Emotional neglect and affection withdrawal etc is abuse in a relationship.
The silent treatment is used to hurt and control people.
She's had many years of being broken down bit by bit.
She has such little self esteem left that she almost believes to an extent she deserves it and has stayed.
She thinks she can earn his love back, when she shouldn't ever feel that she should have to EARN his love at all.
She's not worthless but I bet she feels that way deep down.
And I'd bet her parents/upbringing has ingrained those beliefs into her which is how she ended up falling so a POS "man" like this in the begining.
She is worth love, she deserves love and I hope to God she finds the strength to escape this prison of a relationship and heals herself and finds the man who deserves her love.
@@melstarr1864 exactly, he is a coward! Shame on him.
If he doesn't even want to say "hi" to you after 18 years you have no choice but to let him go and don't let him come back after his "married" gf dumps him.
Yes - emphasis on him going.
🎤 drop
He doesn’t want a divorce because like so many men, he’s getting cake and stuffing his face and coming home to laundry done, a clean house etc. also it keeps him safe from this other woman. Because if he was “free” she would have more expectations, and maybe leave her marriage too. And I’m sure he doesn’t want another serious relationship.
Exactly
Straight up. Once he and his fling get together, he will be disappointed when real life steps in.
I wonder what would happen if she got a life on her own and stopped living for him. He may wake up when she gets excited about her own life.
The constant men-bashing comments on these threads are so boring, tiring and short-sighted! I feel like men whatever their issue is are always portrayed as cheating bastards when at the same time people are so eager to find all sort of excuses to women acting the same way! You're passing judgement on a situation you don't know much about and someone you've never met!
Yes, she has become his mom/roommate. Once mommy is gone, he'll freak out.
@@nyc4233a man is messing around on his wife and your first concern is man bashing, jesus christ you people are insufferable.
Ma’am, your husband is having an affair. He doesn’t want to pull the trigger but he wants a divorce. I’m sorry ;(
Wow. This sucks. So, men can't be "defiant"/decide celibacy, b/c he's no longer interested? Is this not a possible option?
@@nahogathe man doesn’t even greet her…marriage has been over and its okay for them to stop being miserable and end it
Thank you. He wanted you to be a sister wife with his mistress.
Men should be having multiple affairs it's normaln
@@andrea6053thats a good thing
This is a perfect illustration of “women initiate divorce 70%of the time”. Yep, after men abandon them long before and push them to file the paperwork.
Ehhhh.... She is blinded by everything he's been doing to her.
She's going nowhere bc she loves him sooooooooo much! 😂
You are right. Married 15yrs. Married happy women don't cheat and won't Divorce. It's always the males.
@@2intriguing1 anyone who says it's "always" the opposite gender is highly suspect.
💯
A study was done recently and researchers did the simplest thing. They asked why. The overwhelming answer was because the men get married and become children. Since most women don't like kids like that, the desire goes away, and the woman files for divorce. This study also found the vast majority of women try for at least a year to fix the marriage before they file. I've been saying for a long time that if it's the women ending things, it's obviously the men who are the problem. No one just ends a relationship with a great person for no reason. Im just happy a study proved it so i can now use science to shut up red pills.
First caller: husband is lying; he WANTS a divorce, but he doesn't have the guts to pull the trigger on that so he is attempting to get his wife to do the honors by being so awful to her.
Exactly
Spot on. Then he can be "blameless"
Yep
yep, you got it ! he has checked waaaay out and forcing her hand. what a louse. she needs to RUN.
This is why such a large percentage of women initiate divorces. Too many men think it's because women don't value marriage. But it's because the men make the women so damn miserable and WON'T file themselves, so they force the women's hands.
These are the type of men that blame women for the high divorce rates 😢
19:15 That says it all right there, he is in it for life no matter how miserable he is.
Women do serve somewhere between 70-80% of all divorces in this country. And they cheat far more. At least in the last couple decades. That didn't used to be the case.
Obviously you could argue, "they had a good reason." And many do of course. That said there are entire mainstream online communities of woman where the message is partner shaming and get your bag and your man aint sht and the grass is greener, get a divorce, its great. Huge on TikTok. A similar community doesn't exist amongst men. There has been a pretty big cultural push for woman to get divorced. Again, not so much for men...
@@thmphllBut he's not miserable, or he'd leave. Even an amoeba follows this law. She pines after him, makes him feel important while he gets to do what he wants, and helps him with domestic life. And he gets to present favorably like a married man.
Nope we just don't want marriage and don't trust gynocentric laws and SANE MEN ARE NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN THEY DONT FIND AROUSING.
He’s already left, let him go. You can’t make someone love you.
Nor should you try. Its better to be alone.
I believe so too!
"Make someone love you" interesting turn of phrase! If only letting go of someone you've loved was so easy!!
You aren’t insecure. He is having an affair. When a partner nurtures another relationship other than the one with you, it is cheating. It is an affair
👏👏👏
Great definition of an affair.
👍
100 percent having an affair!!!
Yeah but she’s old and if she wants to go into her later years alone then that’s an option too orrrr she could befriend this woman and understand that it’s just a situation and that this is woman could be her new best friend.
she is insecure and thats why he is having an affair. its in the podcast. she outsourced her feelings, exhausted him and it made him more like a parent than a lover. John tells her this early in the call
Absolutely this. It's clear as day
Caller 1 is why I think most marriage/relationship counseling is meaningless. If 1 person doesn't want to be there, a licensed therapist should be able to tell that couple, "One of you has already left and I can't fix this". Giving a couple homework of one person saying, "Hello" is stealing money from that couple, I'm sorry.
100%
Well, and if both people want to be there, why do they need counseling? If two people are willing to fix the marriage, the marriage will naturally get fixed without marriage counseling. This has been shown in a few studies. Yeah, maybe one or both need individual counseling, but I've never seen the point of marriage counseling beyond one person being put down while the other gets validation. It's just dumb, either you want to be married or not, and paying someone half your paycheck isnt going to fix that.
@@carolallison9685 I’ve seen it; I’ve lived it. Married 2 times, both were controlling narcissists but one was a fundamental christian covert spiritual narc. Both as selfish as can be. Every counselor we went to was a fundamental Christian, and each one believes the man. One female counselor and the others male. I initiated the counseling, hoping to have some reasonable ears and fair talk. Nope. Narcs are very good actors, and patronizing as hell. I’m a Christian, but I no longer believe a therapist has to be one to have open ears and the ability to see what’s really going on. Oh, and to be responsible enough to tell the truth, not pander to a male.
I can tell in the first session if one person is gone and I'm not interested in collecting more checks.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 That’s being a responsible therapist. You’re one of the few.
first caller is a classic case of emotional neglect which people don't talk about enough how painful and how traumatic this is, even as an adult
I appreciate that John broke it down to basic levels so that everyone can understand regardless of their own perceptions or backgrounds.
"Think about what you are asking them to do. You are asking them to be a decent human being. That's it! And they refuse to do it!"
You cannot work with someone like that. Living with them is a life of misery.
*him/he. Her husband is a man.
Her husband is treating her EXACTLY how he feels about her. It’s rough to accept it. This is why I left my last relationship. So painful.
Casey, please start living in reality. RUN FAR AND FAST from this man-child. He is using you to keep the house running but doesn’t care about you. It’s AWFUL that he’s done this but girl he’s cheating. Move on. We all want the best for you. Let him dig his own grave and get away from him.
Yes. We all want the best for you.
Or into pornography
He is cheating on her....99.9 percent accurate conclusion.
100% accurate
Or porn.
You can't convince me that he's not having an affair
110%
Sad but true
Caller needs to get out of the house (daily) and leave her husband wondering. The coworker friendship is sketchy AF.
I agree I have been in this situation and my ex kept saying”we are just friends” till I found out the truth through his texts back and fourth to his mistress, so I divorced him, after that she dumped him and he begged me to come back, hmm not in this lifetime!
@@maureenb1109I wish I had the audacity! Good for you. My ex took both me and the woman he was cheating with to the same concert. She passed out from drunkenness and was a mess. He was so cocky and when I didn't react and just ditched him, he was surprised. How in the world are they this audacious/dumb?
I'm watching a friend be excited her cheating, manipulating man is finally willing to marry her now that he has cirrhosis. It's painful to watch people tolerate trash.
@@temposhop8739
I’m so sorry you had to go through this also, it’s devastating I know, my ex was also extremely emotionally and verbally abused too, but I’m much happier and so much at peace now without him 😊
Not a great idea to leave a house before a divorce. But maybe she should boot his ass out?
@@MrHCify it depends on the state, and this is in no way legal advice, but I would have begun living as if he weren't there. Any attempt to get my attention would be met with zero reaction and I would begin proceedings. If he eats your food, buy food he won't touch. Once the decree is in place, I could leave and enforce the sale of the house/buyout.
Staying in a miserable situation with a man who doesn't even respect you enough to say good morning vs. the administrative nightmare of divorce is a no brainer to me. LEAVE HIM.
I had the roommate thing going on too. Hubby never said hello, and didnt want to spend time with me. We signed the divorce papers six months later and he was remarried within the next year. Read the room! He has checked out already. Don't ignore the signs please. Be happy and move on. He already has
I hear you and respect your choice.
But sometimes a broken marriage can be repaired.
It takes a LOT to recover from infidelity, but it is possible.
💕
@@Lauren-i8i Yeah and that usually requires the betrayed partner sacrificing their dignity and self-respect letting the betrayer completely off the hook.
@@Lauren-i8i yes, but it's never the same once the vows are broken.
@@Lauren-i8i broken marriage cannot be repaired if there's another person getting involved. Too much loss of trust.
@@Lauren-i8i he doesn't love her or doesn't want her, there is no hope here
Be brave honey - get out and find yourself again. If he says he won't fight for you - fight for yourself.
Dear Casey, I think he's already emotionally cheaating on you with that lady. I have read that, especially married men, who fell in love with someone else, tend to be s3xvally absent or extremely active than before with their wives / husbands because they are thinking about the other person the whole time. I think it's time to leave him & this hopeless place. Don't lose more precious life time & energy on him. It's not worth being in a bed with a fan of another person. I'm sooo sorry for you... 😔
Could be true but it doesn’t take emotions for men to cheat
I have a feeling the other therapists told her the exact same thing. She just didn’t hear it, and was hoping John would say something different. Praying she finds strength and takes control of her life.
No married man should be texting or friends with another woman who isn’t family period!
Bruh that's crazy. Affairs don't happen just because people of the opposite sex exist. It happens because of whatever is happening in the relationship+the character of the cheater.
My best friend is a female, and I’d never cheat. This just isn’t true lmao.
If he says he cherishes this friend and doesn’t behave the same way to wife, she needs to realize he doesn’t like her. Her acceptance of this will set her free
Again - so blown away by Dr. John!! YOU ARE AWESOME!! The old saying used to always be "will they respect you in the morning?" I LOVE how John flipped that to "I want to be someone I respect tomorrow - I want to be able to respect MYSELF"!!!! LOVE!
The first caller is why I laugh when men whine about women filing for divorce more often. This is a classic tale of how men end relationships without ending them and the woman is forced to pull the trigger. After the divorce he will claim that she left him.
💯
That’s right! Forcing the caller to take action.
Most times it's women withholding sex so let's not act like this situation is the norm and men are most likely to stay in a relationship when they're not happy but yes I agree the stats doesn't really matter if the reason women are filling aren't stated.
@@onebeatsongs9326 cry me a river.
It's the cheating, men cheat and then complain their wife filed for divorce wondering why because he's such a great guy because he did the cheating with no emotions...
The "friendship with a co-worker" is more than that. Take the advice of the therapists and look into what it will take to separate your lives.
He does not like you. Please just leave and don’t tell him you’re leaving. He wants to stay “married” so he looks like a “good guy” to society and his job. He is using up your resources and will continue to do so until you leave.
Yes, it will hurt for a while but I promise you will be happier, have more income and will live longer. Good luck
Yes, using up her resources.
The first caller 💔 I hate when people can’t see their self worth & wont leave emotionally & mentally abusive relationships.
Unless she did something to somehow make him _resent_ her, I do not understand why he despises her. It isn't even like he just "doesn't love her" anymore, its like he practically actively resents/despises her! Its disgusting. I feel so sorry for her that she had such little respect for herself that she thought it was ok to live every day _asking for hello from her _*_husband_* . 😢
since he is coward, he probably gaslit her for years and was never honest, and eroded her self-esteem, she is probably caught in cognitive dissonance and trauma, and can't get out of it without facing reality/abandonment wounds (through therapy)
its discussed in the episode. John tells her why he is going to another person. She was putting the emotional baggage on him whenever she was upset and it was his job to make her happy. So when he met somebody who made him feel happy and gave him emotional support then he moved on with the other person emotionally. The part where John says he is a coward is because the guy doesn't just tell her he has moved on.
A partner that loves you won't withhold sex for long periods of time.
Mine did for years
@@barb7124 same it's brutal.
@@barb7124so what happened?
@@barb7124notice they said “who loves You”
Same
Not only is behaviour a language (as Dr. John says), but we also teach others how to treat and respect us.
Wow. How did I forget about that. Spot on!
Men want to say "women divorce more" and neglect the fact that this kind of situation is common. He abuses, neglects, cheats, etc, but she files and she's the devil. 🙄
Well women always neglect there men so men are getting revenge
Well women should wonder why there men cheating
@@chris-gx7rstheir*
Wives will be 200+ pounds talking about "idk why he's uninterested"
Men are increasingly more upset that women are choosing to be single and choosing better🤣 I see more and more videos of men yelling into the phone that we need to settle
John acted like the therapists didn’t tell her what he told her. They did, they were just more blunt about it. They said it’s over file for divorce
Lady find your strength and protect yourself. Get your ducks in a row and leave before you serve him divorce papers and start treating him like a roommate and take care of yourself.
If she leaves before the divorce it won't go in her favor.
@@riograndelily8344 divorce never goes in anyone’s favour but she is already ahead because she has the means to support herself.
Just file. It’s so much easier. I wasted 5 years of a 35 year marriage. Last 5 he never said a word to me. Never a good morning, good night, happy birthday, happy anniversary.
When I would get home from working mandatory overtime and was exhausted he said nothing when I came home. If I made a comment about being tired after working an 18 hour shift he would tell me he didn’t want to hear it-he didn’t want to hear anything about work.
I found out he had multiple affairs going with multiple people while I was at work.
It’s easier being alone. I will never ever waste my time on anyone else ever again. It’s not worth it.
Get divorced allready if it's not a medical problem. You didn't sign up for abstinence when you married him. People that want to practice abstinence should be with people that practice abstinence.
Period
These comments 😂😂
@@dabd8175 how have you not been banned from this page yet lol
@@dabd8175
Self-righteous, condescending and immature - you're a real catch...
@@dabd8175a man would leave his wife quickly if she’s not putting out too so don’t even lol
I am screaming inside and praying this lady will open her eyes really wide! Leave woman!
I love how he is so gentle but straight forward at the same time! Dr Delony I mean
First Caller:
My mum, and her friends, would say, 'He wants his cake, and eat it'.
He wants a comfortable home, children etc but also wants to live a single life, and have other women, on the side.
Isn't that every man's dream?
But it's abusive.
Ouch. "That's infidelity on 15 different levels". That was my marriage, too. Nobody deserves that. It is hard to move on when you wholeheartedly believe in marriage. The main thing is not to give up on yourself when you walk away. Stay strong.
Oh my heart breaks for the first woman. Her husband does not value her at all
This dude does not even respect her anymore!
I don’t agree sitting down and talking to him again. You know males can be dangerous, especially when the partner is leaving. Please just leave without telling him. Stop begging him to love you, you deserve better than that!
Agreed, this guy is a straight up NARCISSIST… there is no talking to them
Someone who loves you would never intentionally create doubt in your mind.
This woman deserves so much more. Her husband is intentionally being cruel to her and refuses to leave because he doesn't want to upend his own life... not because he loves her and wants to be with her. He gives this other woman aka "friend" more intimacy than his own wife. He's capable of it, but just doesn't do it.
This woman needs to make his life a living hell. Call the other woman's husband and let him know what's going on. She's made your life a living hell... why not make hers a living hell too?
Greeting someone "hello" is bare minimum politeness and he won't do it... he's a coward and a tool. Divorce is the only answer.
Oh dear caller 1 wake up and smell the coffee !!!! He’s totally cheating either physically or emotionally !!! Saying good morning and good night to another woman that isn’t your spouse is WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD !!!!
I had to learn the hard way that you cant make anyone do anything, including change. That's on them. It's time for her to focus on herself and what she wants. If her husband isn't willing to work on changing, then his time is up.
The third caller! Man, that conversation should be a show by itself. Best advice Delony could ever give a young man.
Caller 1...please leave him. I dealt with the very same thing! It is sonhard to face thst he chose to leave you and does not have the courage to tell you the truth. It sucks. You have a future ahead of you and deserve to be with someone who cherishes you and wants time with you!
Seems to be blaming her
He has a convenient life…
Get ALL things ready (paperwork, assets and finances, and all things legal/practical) and start being nonchalant about him as well. Don't go out of your way re: domestic chores. Sleep in the guest room. Screenshot the messages between husband and co-worker. There is no more 'marriage' to speak of. You do you now and start spending time with friends/advisers/lawyer(s) while you weigh your options re: divorce. THEN divorce him. Time to put yourself FIRST.
I feel for Casey. It’s hard to face reality when you do NOT want a divorce. Divorce sucks when you have kids. I assume they have kids. But living in a home with no love or respect from the man is not healthy or happy. I’m sorry Casey. You are worth more than this!
Girl this your chance to see other people and enjoy your free time. Don’t let this suck the life out of you.
- this story proves men will do everything but divorce you when they hate you
And then they complain that women filing for divorce is what's breaking up families 🤨
i feel absolutely terrible for this women god bless her and i hope things get better
On the first case. I wouldn't say the other counselors didn't let this woman know. In fact, it sounds like they did tell her and that she possibly wasn't ready to hear it yet.
she says they both literally told her to leave him. it sounds like shes going to different councellors and calling John hoping somebody will tell her a different answer
I am sooo heart broken for the first caller. 💔 I wish her the best❤
Behavior is a language, to quote Dr. John.
Actions speaking louder than words !
Time to call up the 3rd party's husband and everyone have a meeting...
I one hundred percent agree with time to call her husband.
It's pointless.....
The caller just needs to leave that lying and conniving husband.
Period!!
@@SaystheTruth3 that too!
Let's get the finances in order first. Stash some money , hide things, and photocopy everything financial. Find something fun on the side for.... distraction.
Let them have each other. They will be miserable in no time and you will heal and be better off
There’s an apparently statistic that shows most women initiate divorce. Well this is a good example of why they do, when a man wants a divorce he won’t do the dirty work he will treat his wife like crap and wait until she leaves.
Men are such cowards in these cases.
Giving her husband "another chance" is NOT what this woman needs. Why would you tell this woman that her husband has left her and then tell her to try again? She needs to get her crap and LEAVE.
This!!! She’s going to spin her wheels
Saying hello, it's definitely not a work, the caller she is so nice to put up with this. I was in almost the same situation when I was near the door to leaving my husband and been married for 7 years now.
Doing the "work" of saying hello... this is heartbreaking. How little the scraps of love (nay, decency) she's asked for and him telling her NAH by doing it 2 times out of five.
I'm so sorry for her that she"s getting treated by someone (let alone her husband) like that.
And the audacity of him telling her that divorce is out of the question after this daily emotional starvation torture...
Divorce was a nightmare for me. Divorce devastated every inch of my life. this woman story though he quit on her. Dr john is right
😞
Husband is seeing his co-worker
Fist caller - My God. why people stay in relationships like this??🤯
I admire John Delonys direct approach and honesty!
He’s a narcissist. They cannot be fixed.
Oh this hurt my heart to listen to…what a cold, selfish man. Just leave her for goodness sake…stop mentally destroying the poor woman.
Caller 1. It’s cheaper to keep her. Anyone with a pulse can “love you”. But are they willing to do the work?
The first caller is basically my situation, except we haven't gone to counseling. Editing this because we're working on things.
I mean there a lot of them geared towards men to help protect their assets and child access. Why not sub to one that is for women? I don’t know any but they should be out there.
Did you file for divorce?
@@XxGamersxx1990 No, we had a long talk and I held absolutely nothing back. His apology and subsequent actions seemed sincere (no love bombing, but small acts of kindness and acknowledgement), and I don't feel there's danger in giving another chance. We'll see how it goes.
He loves her, some people express that as 'I would take a bullet for you', he won't even say hello to her, what exactly does his love for her mean?
Precisely
Well said.
It’s been a slow creep of invalidating behaviour from Casey’s husband over the years that’s now normalized and he just ties a gaslighting excuse to everything he does so she feels crazy. He’s been doing this to keep living the marriage on his terms. He breadcrumbs her with the occasional Hello in the morning to keep her on her toes.
The silent treatment is abuse
Was the straw that broke this camel’s back. January 1st
This year this was what I woke up to. On day 5 he bragged to our adult son saying “day 5, haven’t talked to your Mom”. THAT was a pivotal moment.
I’m out 4 months after 31 years.
It sounds like that other woman is poisoning the husband mind. He needs to GET RID of that friendship or the wife needs to leave. My heart breaks for her!
The wide needs to get rid of him. He is completely disrespecting her
It’s too late.
Why in the world would you stay with a man who doesn’t want you?
He abandoned his wife and going to blame her.
First caller: selfish people will keep you stuck just because they know you are a great person and even though they no longer want or love you they don’t want to see you with someone else.
File today. Life is way too short to be miserable and be unloved.
He won’t change because he knows she won’t leave
I feel so genuinely bad for the first caller. She seems to care so much for her husband and it really seems so sad that she is not receiving love back. However it came to this, it’s very sad to hear. Hope she divorces and finds someone that cares for her.
She's desperate. That's a whole different animal.
Another great episode. Thank you. Regarding the first caller, I remember a saying that the "wrong" is not in filing for divorce. The "wrong" is in all of the things that were done that led up to and caused the divorce. In situations like this, divorce can be your life boat, your saving grace, a blessing of a 2nd chapter for you.
By the way I love the Spin Doctors! When I lived in Seattle (for 54 years!), I saw them back in the 90's at the outdoor stadium at the Seattle Center. One of the most fun summer concerts I've ever attended! ( I think they're from NY by the way).
First caller: its exactly as John said, he doesn't want to divorce her because she takes care of him.
Men will do this. And then complain women file for 80% of divorces. I say she stays , stack her $$, date someone else… and wait for him to leave.
Most times women file it has nothing to do with her not getting sex from him. Silly comment.
@@fromheaventoearth5779If you watched this video and think that it’s just about sex, you should watch it again.
@@fromheaventoearth5779These comment sections are full of divorced women and make it impossible to have a decent conversation.
@@onestepcloser5925 Yeah. I have seen women destroy generations of families and still find a way to blame everyone else inlcuding their daughters. Not saying dudes don't suck. Everyone does. But women have the victim thing on lock usually lol
@@fromheaventoearth5779agree. But this issue is about much more than sex. The husband has basically abandonded the marriage.
She should listen to her therapist and move on. It’s obvious he’s cheating and still wants to hang onto her as a thing not his wife. He’s showing affection for this so called friend, that is most likely his girlfriend. I feel really bad for this caller.
This has been one of my favorite episodes, i’ve learned so much! Thank you Dr. John for these seeds of wisdom
Love that John brought in an expert to talk to David. Hope he has more opportunities to do that
The last call is so touching. I needed to hear this.
Yeah, the basic hello and good morning that he refuses to say is ridiculous and says so much. If she was "entertaining" a guy in the way he's is with his co-worker, he would call her a cheater. Sign them papers.
Omg! My heart broke for the first caller. Such a kind, lovely woman. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
He wants the divorce he just doesn’t wanna loose everything else.
I love that every single comment says he is 100% to blame but ignores the fact that John pointed out to her that it sounds like she emotionally drained him until he was exhausted. She was outsourcing all of her emotions and that is extremely draining when that happens. yes he is a coward for not telling her its over, but she played her part to begin with too.
The old saying about women and accountability.
My heart hurt for the first caller. He is 💯 already cheating on her with the other woman. I pray she leaves him.
Dangling divorce papers in front of him is not an 'ask'. Its an 'ultimatum' that will NEVER make him love her. He will likely, whether he stays or not, resent the crap out of her AND continue his affair.
So then she leaves. Jesus even said the ONE stipulation he has for divorce is infidelity.
Well he’s already left.
But regardless, the point isn’t to make him love her. It’s a last ditch effort maybe if he just needed to wake up…but we all know that isn’t what he needs, he’s just a coward that’s already quiet quit the relationship
She’s not “dangling” anything, she’d be giving him one final chance to turn it around. The only power she has here is to file for divorce.
The first caller- sounds like the husband had this intention from the beginning. He made you agree to not divorce so he could treat you any way he wanted and not have any consequence. It seems like there’s more to him and he could be controlling and abusive in a passive aggressive / covert way.
It's very likely. What a douche canoe
1st caller... he is cheating on you
He either is seeing another woman, he doesn’t fancy her anymore or he just don’t love her anymore. Whatever it is she needs to get some dignity and leave.
He is unhappy but cannot give her a reason. That is stonewalling. She cannot fix what she doesn't know is broken. Seems like he just doesn't want to deal with the burden of separating funds. It sounds sadly over. It takes two to make it work and one to be done.
I completely disagree with the way Dr. John spoke to this woman. I think he was blaming her too much when her husband is obviously having, at the very least, an emotional affair. All the things she mentioned, from her husband starting a relationship with a female co-worker, which is completely not appropriate, to her dad being sick, are things that would upset anyone and change their emotions.
Yes I think he was a bit hard on her knowing she is agonizing to accept the truth. Her saying he has never been affectionate would be confusing. She was in denial so he did help her have more clarity.
She needs more of a wake up call than Dr. John gave her. After several long, depressing experiences with women close to me who prioritized and obsessed over trash to the detriment of their family, friends, selves, and KIDS, despite having ways out, I no longer see them the same way.
Remember, we are only getting one side of the story for like 3 minutes. He can insert some calls for self reflection and she can give him more information to see if she is culpable.
Always 2 in marriage
he literally tells her that if her husband was on the phone then he would have a completely different conversation. he told her things that may have played a part in the guy checking out. If a man exhausted a woman until she cheated with somebody else we would say the same thing. She should have ended the relationship instead of cheating and he should have been a partner instead of constantly draining her emotionally. yes rough situations happen, but some people haven't been taught healthy coping tools so they end up leaning on the people around them excessively and it can be very draining after some time.
It sounds like he’s most likely cheating on her with his coworker at work. It sounds like he’s now emotionally, and prob physically bonded to her. And it prob feels like he’s cheating on his coworker if he sleeps with his wife. This man is done with her. This caller needs to realize her worth and just divorce this man. He’s just wasting her time at this point.