Your Reality Film - Reacting to Your Comments | Gaslighting
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- Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2021
- This video is dedicated to all of you!
Your support and your comments have encouraged me to keep spreading awareness on emotional abuse and gaslighting.
Let me know if you'd like me to make more of these reaction videos (or any other type of videos).
There are so many more comments which I wanted to highlight, but the video was just getting a bit too long.
1:10 shout-out to our cast and crew
2:18 first comment - reaction
35:46 why I chose to write a female victim
37:24 update on the feature film progress
If you haven't watched Your Reality short film, you can check it out here:
• Your Reality | Award-w...
Also, if you want to stay updated with the progress on the feature film - subscribe to my newsletter here: tatjana-anders.com/your-reali...
In case you want to support me with the feature film development in any way, you can contact me here: tatjana-anders.com/contact/
Or you can also reach out to me via socials:
/ tatjana.anders
/ tatjanaap
Lastly, if you are a tea lover like myself - feel free to check our loose leaf tea subscription: teapro.co.uk/
#gaslighting #reactionvideo #emotionalabuse #indiefilm 
Развлечения
You have no idea how much your short film and all of the comments have helped me. I grew up in a gaslighting home. I eventually began to know my birth mother who was a gas lighter. Now I’m with a guy who’s a gas lighter. Through out all of my life I’ve been through hell and through this kind of stuff and thinking it’s normal. I’m only 19 years old and you have remarkably helped me so much. I think I’m going to figure some things out and try and get out of here
Aw Katelyn! I'm so glad you have more clarity about this topic and your own situation now. Stay strong! You can do this!
Def get out.
Stay careful about it, though.
Plan ahead, but get away as soon as possible. Don't look back. A person can easily, with much misery of course, waste their whole life trying to connect with abusers. Love from a great distance, where you are safe, and you can heal and be yourself.
You have the world in front of you. This guy is a stepping stone. Believe in yourself !
Please do....and don't believe a word he says.....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE WORTH THE BREATH YOU BREATHE, YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH ALL YOU NEED IS THE ACTION....(GET OUT NOW). GOD BLESS
I SO want to see a part 2 where her friend would talk with her about how abusive he is, how shocking it was to hear, and she gets help and sees the TRUTH! And gets out of the toxic mess!!
I grew up under the forever disapproval of a narc Mother. As a child, anytime I did or didn't do something "right" she would hiss the words I'll never be able to un-hear, "You should be ASHAMED of yourself!". I'm now a grown woman of 59, highly sensitive, and forever trying so hard not to be ashamed of myself. It affects every relationship I have, and have had. Even with my grown children, my co-workers, my boss.
I don't remember a time ever when I felt like I was "good enough". I was (and probably still am) codependent, and no matter how much counseling, reading of self help books, on line courses, ect., somehow I never seem to learn how to stop this stupid cycle. I so desperately want to feel normal - confident, strong, motivated, and each time I think I'm on the right path to feeling BIG, I end up getting the wind knocked out of my sails, and am right back to being small.
A friend like the one in this movie is priceless, unfortunately many of us never have that support system we desperately need. You did a great job of recreating exactly how a narc baits, reels in, and, traps their victims. Be careful out there friends, the struggle is very real. ♡
I can relate, but not entirely. I had a narcissistic brother that would constantly shower me with insults under the veil of jokes. He convinced me that I am a very boring person. This really ate into my ability to socialize with people and make friends and created an incredible amount of social insecurity. My personal way out of it is to develop a very strong trust in my own judgement. I realised that I'm already very critical of myself, and I use that to my advantage. I trust my judgement and if I can hear my voice, my words and my tone and decide that it's boring or dull I'll trust that, and if I think it's interesting and fun I'll trust that.
Unfortounately there is some truth to his claims. I do think that I am often boring. Narcissistic people are often very comfortable, probably because they spend their time expressing exactly what they feel and dominating others. They genuinly feel joy and happiness and confidence (more like arrogance imo though) but often there's a lot of charm in expressing those emotions(particularly as a guy). Comedy also just happens to be by nature a pretty 'impolite' thing. There's a very fine line between abuse and comedy and narcissists are well placed to walk that line. Of course I am boring if I grew up under constant attack, always feeling unsafe, confused and being the type of person that doesn't want to harm others.
But now the ball is in my court. The more I understand about how I truly feel, the more comfortable I feel, the happier I get. With the right people I can be pretty entertaining. And of course I would be if I love them and I'm comfortable around them.
I think one way out of this mental confusion is to slowly develop trust in your own judgement. By being honest and gathering knowledge about the world and yourself.
❤
I survived a situation like this.. the video triggered me so much but i’m so grateful you made it because some people won’t see the actual situation they’re in until it’s too late. This video might have saved lives. ❤️
also, the only people who thumb-downed your videos are gaslighters and narcissistic and just upset about their actions being exposed 🤷♀️
@@97rodeoqueen That's what I tend to think as well 😂haha
Triggering but eye opening.
It's was just the subtle psychological mental abuse that slowly destroyed Alicia's character. Mark from the outside appearance looked like a calm and collective person but in reality he was an abusive person. Even in criminal law they have the terms assault that can be verbal and battery that is physical. The verbal assault created by Mark on Alicia led to her mental breakdown that he was responsible for. This could be anyone of us in an abusive relationship or situation. One must be aware to protect themselves from these terrible individuals that do great harm to people.
Dude, this film was exactly what happened to me step by step, she wanted to move in right away. Everything, standing ovation for this film.
While I grew up in a home with an emotionally abusive parent, it made my threshold for abuse very low because of being able to identify the smallest gaslight type behaviors. It’s impossible to avoid these people in your life, but keeping them at a distance is always best. Never take anything from them. If you do, return the favor immediately. Never show or reveal any weaknesses or vulnerabilities because they will use it against you. Don’t even let them insult or demean you. Not once! Always stand up for yourself and if they don’t take responsibility for their actions or words, LEAVE!
Thank you. Tips you can work with, i think this is very valuable
these are some great words of advice Sura!
Also ,if they see that their demeaning actions aren't working, THEY will leave and find another woman or man to gaslight!
Soooooooo subtle if you don’t know what living with a narcissist is like. Thank you so much, 2 days ago I was thinking my divorce was my fault. Then I see this….scary accurate. It really did save me from going down a rabbit hole of guilt and shame. It started with my mom, then 23yrs of a marriage that was exactly what I watched in the film. 6 yrs out from the relationship, my mother has passed on and still thoughts and feelings being me back to that place of guilt and shame that was created by the narcs. Unbelievable how much this helped me today. God bless-
I'm so glad to hear that you found the film helpful Monika! It's crazy how narcs make us feel like everything is our fault - it's very hard to shake that feeling once it's instilled in you. I hope you're doing better now that you're out of your abusive relationship. Wishing you all the best!
This film has meant so much to me... helping to explain to myself and others a difficult topic to explain. Most importantly the dichotomy between her remembered version of the final scene versus reality. It looks just like a sweet boy meets girl story, having a few reservations but getting married anyway, having increasing red flags during normal spats and marital conflicts, seeking advice from friends and being disappointed, and finally arriving at such a low place where you're the "crazy" one. My hope is that the friend plays the recording to her, helps her escape, that she upskills about gaslighting and narcissism and narcissistic supply, that she uses that valuable info for her own betterment and avoids the risk of trying to help open his eyes to his own narcissism, that she reignites her career, believes her own version of the truth, enjoys social drinking again without wasting a single thought on his punitive "alcoholic" label, and little by little heals and moves on and stops thinking about him altogether. Thank you thank you thank you. Can you do a follow up film about how she recovers?
Thank you for sharing. 18yr of marriage, 3 kids, and now 5 yrs post marriage I can finally say I’m 98% healed. It’s a rough yet rewarding journey to move on.
Honestly, after the divorce I did something I had always wanted to do (which he said I needed to wait until the kids were old) and got a film degree.
I would love to help with your feature!
What did you do to heal? What steps, therapies etc?
I felt that the film was very effective because it left some initial ambiguity so that it was only as the narrative and inter exchanges became more disturbing that we as an audience were able to see clearly what was actually happening., This subtle approach mirrored the process of gaslighting which often hides behind specious rationalizations, turning-tables and projections....and thus takes time and courage to identify and confront or flee. You played the part very effectively because we felt your ambivalence, doubts and loyalty to your partner....this is how decent people and generous souls are manipulated and abused. The ending was effective too because you left the audience to work out what was going to happen. So a very effective short film superbly acted....it was easy to identify and feel compassion for the character you played.To end on a more facetious note I am glad to see that you have gotten rid of gas lights and have switched to candles :)
We’re can I watch this?
I know both women and men who've been gaslighted (including myself for years by a few men) but I'm grateful you chose to depict a man gaslighting and abusing a woman because in this world women in many countries have absolutely no rights or if they do it's on paper and rarely upheld legally so good on you!! Thank you! I'm following you now and so hope to see more of your work!
Thank you so much! This really means a lot to me!
Thank you for creating such a poignant film. I can't wait for the feature film🤩
Thank you! I hope I'll be able to film and release it soon!
We can wait.😁.
OMG! A part of me didn't realize how bad my relationship was with my X-HUSBAND of 16 yrs. until I watched your film! The strange thing is...that I would've stayed in the marriage, which was horrible, if HE didn't told me that HE wanted a divorce!! He always said that "their is no option for getting a divorce". My 1st husband was everything that I wished. I was married for 10 years until he died in a boating accident. My ex-husband would tell my girl's..."look at your Mom, she's crazy"! I was only crying from something that he said. Once I told him "your going to be punished by the way that you treat me"! He said, "I am already being punished"! This same man, when I first met him, was very charming. He told me how much that he respected women. I believed that until I heard him myself the way that he talked to his mother! I'm telling you - he told her f-you you don't know what you are talking about! I was shocked! I grew up knowing that I wouldn't ever say such a thing! From your film I also realized that MY FATHER was a narcissist! He told me when I was maybe 13 years old, he sat in his chair & I was 6' away from him when he began telling me, "you are so damn stupid & that I would never amount to anything"! At that time & throughout my whole life I believed him! In school and with a group of people, in school I would never raise my hand for the fear that my answer would be wrong & that everyone would laugh at me! All thru my school year's, & after I still had that fear. He SEXUALLY ABUSED ME!! Later on in my life I finally told my brothers & my mother. This didn't help because he told everyone that he could that I was A BIG LIAR! I felt some relief when I finally got this off my chest, so to speak, but then the LIAR acquisition some people believed him!! I live alone now, however it has been a great experience. For one, I got to know myself, I began to like myself, I'm a speaker at meetings. I am not stupid, the TOPPER IS, WHEN HE DIED, I FOUND OUT THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN FINISH THE 8TH GRADE. As you very well get it, I could go on & on. Lol!
After watching your film, I was excited to find your video on reviewing ppls. comments VERY enlightening. But I must say, I had a hard time identifying what Gaslighting is myself. I watched a lot of the Heard Depp trial but still had a hard time wrapping my head around it. Your film really clinched it for me, so thanks. But, I must say, I have not been gaslighted, or is it gaslit my self. l am 64 now and have been able to identify shitty men pretty quickly in dating or at the very start of a relationship and high-tailed it out fast. So, I guess I have been in 4 long term relationships in my life. The one I'm in now has lasted 25 years is very healthy and loving.
Although now I'm navigating lousy health, so that challenges our relationship now, but we are still managing it with ❤ love. Remember relationships are work, but they should never be that much work!
Thank you!! I wish I had this 20 years ago when I had a narc gaslighter who I put through law school (wrong move) and used gaslighting and courts through 14 yrs (also custody)..it was horrid. He never laid a hand on me but he abused me so much that I honestly can't trust anyone. My sons have some of it in them as well as my dad. My mom passed and she loved me. I struggle w/men. (due to this)
Aw so sorry to hear about it Cathy! It must be so tough. Stay strong - there are nice people out there (including men), it can just sometimes seem difficult to attract them. Main thing is - love yourself. And if someone treats you less than you deserve, tell them to f off.
Check out my guided meditation to help you break free from the narcissist: ruclips.net/video/_AzQzMtusEA/видео.html 💪
PS: Thank you for your support! I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you, your stories and your feedback. You guys are amazing. ❤
You were never talking jibberish. You are intelligent and clear in your communications. 😊
What gibberish are you talking about??
Dont gaslight yourself and try to apologize less.
Im a codependent as well, quite fresh out of a narc relationship.
Your film is wonderful 💚💚💚
Aw, thank you so much! Hope all is well with you!
Are the women in the photos, on his wall, his exes? Like he has them hung as his ex conquests? Like the saying, "they're adding a notch to their belt," but he's got his notches visible? I was thinking the whole time, she was going to investigate the pictures, and when she finally talks to them, these women were going to tell her to run for the hills!?!
Also, you did a fantastic job showing how her own physical appearance began to change!
@@-Dolce_Far_Niente- That's a very good observation Lacy! In my mind they were just models he has photographed in the past - but there's no reason to assume he didn't have a relationship with them. I think ex's in general is a very good point. I've actually included it in my feature film script - so I'm really glad you bring it up.
And yes, I think emotional health almost always affects our physical appearance.
Thank you for your kind words and for your support! ❤
A difficult subject powerfully imaged. It leaves no doubt as to what has happened to the self esteem. (Your Reality)
Thank you John!
Could you do another one on more reactions to comments? So good! And one on Narcissistic Supply? Apparently it's impossible to cure narcissists because there is always a supply of empathics for them. We have to give up the hope of them getting healed, because healing comes from within, which often comes from hitting rock bottom which narcissists don't do. They don't suffer the natural consequences of their poor behaviour because 1) they blame everyone else 2) we empathics struggle to break the habit of engaging with them, and 3) even if we completely cut them off, they will find others to fill the gap. So all we can do is save ourselves and our children and shut the door and entrust them to God.
Thank you Nancy! I'm doing a collab with "The Royal We" channel tomorrow - these are such great topics for discussion! We'll do our best to cover them!
Maybe I can help. Focus on yourself! Narcissist is in garbage. Your life counts! ♥️
Thank you Tatjana for your work! Hopefully the feature film can see the light soon!! I think that your work helps a lot for many people who are working to get a better society. Gaslighting is also connected with bullying, mobbing, grooming, domestic violence and other terrible forms of abuse. Your movie could be used in schools or other educational institutions for helping understand young people how to indentify and cope with this insidious manipulation technique.
Thank you for your video. This hits home. I left my BF after almost a year. He didn’t escalate to physical abuse “yet” but I have no doubt that would be down the road. He was scary. He degraded me. He broke me down.
I now care for me. I love myself, I’m recovering and repairing what he tried to take down. He was worth nothing. I deserve better than he could have ever given me!
You make a tribute to human integrity. Thank you! Narcissistic survivor🌸
This reminds me so much about my abusive ex. I had to go through therapy because of the trauma I developed when I was with him. So many things I wanted to say about him until now but he twists my words and make me looked like the bad one. Whilst I am screaming for the truth, no one believed me because he is always so "calm and collected" when he talks to people. They think its very out of character of him to be this aggressive person I am talking about. Even if I have bruises to show. If he said I hurt myself then that's what everybody believes. Even with my bruises... that is even impossible for me to inflict on myself. I was disappointed no one cared to dig or even scratch a little further to find out what was happening to me. Because I am sure they will see... they will figure out why I was stuck and could not leave that relationship before.
After I have left him I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night crying and scared that he might be outside our house waiting for me even though I know he is thousands of miles away from where I live. He would send me this "loving" messages years ago saying that he will get me back but we both know what that really means. I had to leave my whole life, my friends, my home, my country, everything... to start anew.
It still brings me to tears thinking about it because I will never forget the physical and emotional torment he have caused me. But I know I am wiser because of it.
One thing is for sure: if your other half wants to make you feel small so you'd stay and depend on them, have the courage to stand up for yourself, remind yourself you don't need invisible shackles, remember your values, you are in a relationship to nurture not torture, you are effin' great, plan your escape, and whatever people tell you remind yourself of all the things they don't know are happening in your relationship. No one gets to decide for yourself but you. ❤
Congratulations on your courage and your new life! It is very scary to make that move like you did.
Your closing words are so beautiful that I made them the wallpaper on my phone. I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through. Thank you for sharing this, because it really informs and inspires me.
Thank you for sharing this short film with all of us Tatjana. It has definitely touched me in a very personal way. I recently ended a very very abusive relationship. There were many red flags but much like the heroine, I made excuses for him and didn't trust my gut.
In fact, there were many parts during the film where I actually could not believe how similar Mark was to my ex that I had to pause the video to reflect on an exact incident that I could recall with my ex. I could not even believe how similar the scene was to my reality.
It just further confirms that I made the right decision to leave.
It's NOT ok to be treated this way. But it's also not ok to beat yourself about it. It happens to the best of us. If you're going through a similar negative relationship with a narcissist and gaslighter, step away. If you see red flags, trust your instinct that you're not wrong. Only you know how you feel in your gut. Get out before you go any further with this person.
Thank you for advocating with your video. The acting was so good and you perfectly portrayed what it feels like to live with someone like that. I’m not trying to be rude but it brought back horrible and painful memories bc it was so accurate. I still have to live with my gaslight but I get to go between houses every week so I at least have a safe space, but trying to get help through the court system so my mom can have custody has been difficult bc no physical evidence and all.
you really don't know how much you have helped silent people that were confused and reassured those that have made it out, like me I will pray for your wisdom to reach above your peak, god bless you
Please can you do a part 2, I wanna hear the potential conversation between the main character and her best friend, does the best friend come over and lay into the guy? Does the main character escape? Etc...
Hello jazzy j I recommend you to Dr James do you need help to make sure your relationship is fully secured,no cheats, banishing third party,make your love think of you non stop,I advice you seek help from him
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you're such a beautiful person! Thank you for making this, I think people coming together and producing short films portraying toxic relationships is extremely important. I've learned a lot of us don't recognise when it is happening and even verbal/written descriptions don't do it justice - we need to see examples to be able to relate & recognise sometimes.
Yourself and the other actors did such an amazing job at capturing the emotion and pattern, the nuances of aggression and tones....
That was awesomely done Narcissistic abuse is terrible and Gaslighting is one of their weapons.
just watched your short film all i can say is wow some of it hit home to me im going threw some stuff with my husband and i have days were im like really does this guy really think its all me and twist my words i just want to say thank you im working on getting out of this 17years im in therapy i do see its not me im happy i found your site thank you
I grew up with a very narcissistic mother who told me almost every day that I will never amount to anything and comparing me with one of her sisters who she disliked. She did the same to my much younger sister. This has been effected my self confidence throughout my life, now being 74, with 5 grown children, I never put them down and all are happy and successful.
I then married a man who treated me with no respect and made me feel like I was worthless. He left me with our twins and no kind of support.
I was lucky to be able to support us with my work...I have given up with men because of my bad experiences with both my ex husband's. I am happy just being in a part time job and my cat. My boys and girls are so supportive and look after me and keep in touch several times a week and I support them when they need me.
I just came across your video and then the reaction video. I thought your video was very well done and I loved the hook at the end. It really showed the reality of the situation. I grew up with a family of narcissists. Both my parents and my aunts and uncles. I always thought what I experienced was the "normal" way of growing up. Even though something inside of me always felt wrong. The experience has left me vulnerable. Now I find myself in my mid-40's and learning how to set my own boundaries. I have learned outside of my family there are also narcissists who can find me and then have. I have learned lessons at my own expense. Working on fixing my broken heart I have come to realize that people I thought were friends, were not really my friends. They were only with me until I set boundaries. Once I did, they left me. I spent a lot of time thinking what did I do? What I could have done different? Lucky, I DO have a couple close friends who saw this and helped educate me on narcissism. It was all hard for me to wrap my head around. Parts still are, but I am open to learning. What I have learned is to be more skeptical of people, especially new people. I have learned even when encountering a narcissist from my past, that I should no longer look to myself to blame, or think what is wrong with me. Instead of being hard on myself, I realize I should be kind to myself. I should show myself love and know they are trying to put me done. They are trying to make me doubt myself. I have learned it is worth more to protect myself and teach my children self-respect and love. So, they won't have this happen to them. They are growing up in a safe and loving environment as both my husband and I chose to "break the cycle" . I realize I am worth it. I deserve happiness and real love. I learned to put me first over others. My mindset matters. It is important to bring to light this type of abuse as it is very, very real. Thank you for making this as I can see and feel this was close to home for you. You did a good thing. Job well done.
I'm sorry for such a extremely long comment. I didn't realize that until after I sent it. I got so much out of your short film by watching it & on the comments from other's that you chose to answer.
After watching Your Reality and other movies and videos on gaslighting I've learned quite a bit. I still have more to learn about it though, and I will. One thing they taught me is not to do or say the things gaslighters do and say. Those kind of people are so unbearable, don't you think?!
This video just came up in my news feed about an hour ago. From the moment she arrived for the “date “ my stomach turned. This has been the first video on RUclips that has made me truly emotional. Living with a partner like Mark currently, this video has opened my eyes truly as to what I go through. It made my stomach turn.
I can’t wait for my opportunity to break free. Thank you so much for making this.
Sadly in Canada domestic abuse is not taken seriously. Police are not the answer. I called 32 times in a year and have never received help from them unfortunately. Especially with emotional mental /Financial etc. you have to actually have injuries like a bloody nose a blackeye anything. Just like Mark they make us look crazy always.
Thank you again ❤️🩹
Hey Jessica! Sorry to hear about your experience. Stay strong! I agree, it's so difficult to prove your case when you don't have any physical evidence. Maybe see if there are any women's charities around where you live - those might be more helpful than the police. I really hope you'll be able to get out this situation soon! Sending you a big hug!
I must have healed in awareness...I was talking on the phone with a guy from online.... the phone cut off and he right away started with sarcasm about me hanging up and some other bs....I shut it down right away. I see that pattern with the 'late' dig.
Never knew that kind of abuse had a name. Been there, done that. Praise the Lord I am free.
U have done an amazing work..so many healthy people become crazy and lost just because of those people...thank u so much for making this film!
Thank you for this amazing shot film. Now.. I understand it much better what gaslighting was all about. I also got the silent treatment when they had a dream of me cheating, never had to apologize for something I never did so much. Felt like I was asking god to forgive me.
Tatiana! I love your work, and love what you do. Growing up my dad was a narcissist..
Thank you for your support Guiliana!
Moving in together is a huge gaslighting move
You did such an amazing short movie. All explained in just few minutes. Thank you 💜
After growing up with a master manipulator I learned to gaslight myself. Even though I've been in a healthy and happy marriage for fourteen years I still find I'm struggling to be kind to myself. Thank you for the reminder to keep working toward healing no matter how long it takes.
Omg! I'm so glad someone put out a new video about gaslighting and narcissist abuse!! It helps so much when you can see this from someone else shoes! It helps to connect the dots!
I am so happy to having found your movie... Thank you so much for your work! Congratulations to all the amazing cast and crew!
Thank you so much Marilla! Your words really mean a lot to me!
Thank you so much for this project endemic I feel in society and not discussed or awareness given to. I always thought it happened to "other people" You have done an amazing job. So many blessings to you xx
One more thought...if you find you need more funding for the full film or any follow on, please consider a gofundme campaign. I'd contribute in a heartbeat and in that type of platform each person doesn't have to donate any more than they have.
Thank you Rhonda! I will consider it! ♥
Me too! Check out my comment above. I'm just reading the rest of the comments now and we're thinking the same thing!
@@thankfulgal316 aw thank you Nancy!
I'd definitely contribute! And share
Or a Kickstarter!
This film was so accurate. It brought chilis to my bones. I watched it twice. Amazing work. I have lived this life many times over.
you completed finished the juice you had in the glass at the end of the video! glad for this video. this happened with me as well for at least 3 years and the person who gas light me was not a person, not a women but rather a cult and it broke me completely, it destroyed me, brainwashed me and if i mention killed me as well. glad i left that cult and the people connected with me there. thanks for the video, sis. love you 3000!
❤❤
I once dated a narcissist. Early on he said “no one will ever love you as much as I do or treat you as well as I do” I think he wanted me to think he was saying he loved me immensely. I did not like how it made me feel so I called him out the next time I saw him and told him that what he said was no compliment as he was really saying that no one else will ever love me. He apologized and said he never meant that only how much he loves me. Sadly I did not know that he said that in a calculated way and did not leave him. 18 months later I was a defeated mess. Somehow got out. I started dating someone new and started going out and everyone said how nice it was to see me smile again. Thank you for putting this out there. People need to understand what people are like so that gent can support friends and loved ones and avoid getting into these situations. It is so hard to leave because it is dangerous. That is when you are most likely to be killed.
You're the crazy person no doubt.
Negative toxicity is everywhere. Gaslighting can be from anyone of any age. Believe in your worth and values. Be strong 💪
My ex narcissist words wow more like: you’re broken, you’re damaged it’s your past habit you overreact to me. He never cashed me names but he always told me there was something wrong with me. Never took accountability for anything. Covert abuse is horrible
Hi Tatjana, just discovered this moving short film. It took me a while to see who was going to be the gaslighter -- either I am still naive, or you crafted your film with this intent. Although I noticed he did push it a bit when she was late, or "late." I'm a woman several times your age and have played every role, and more, in this timely film. Mark and Sophie were both amazing as well. I want to see more, am so very interested in this increasing syndrome. The last six weeks of the Depp/Heard trial, for example (verdict not in at this writing). "If it feels wrong it's probably wrong" - yes!!
I think I speak for everyone when I say that it would be so amazing if you could create more content around this gaslighting topic.. I think it would be interesting to see how the last scene played out more or something like a part 2… and ways that people can get out of the relationship and get help and what that would look like..
Tatjana, what inspired you to make this film? Have you went through a similar situation yourself?
Interesting to see the comment read from the lawyer about marrying a narcissist and how divorces turn out at 8:15. Sounds like what happened with #JohnnyDepp. Thank goodness the verdict was in his favour and just revealed how AH was so malicious post-marriage…!
True! I'm really happy for Jonny Depp as well!
In a weird way I'm thankful for that trial. Seeing Amber on stand reminded me of my brother. When she got diagnosed with NPD, I googled it and everything clicked. If not for that trial I might've remained confused for many more years.
This is grrrrrrrrreat! In a bunch of different ways!! Thank you!!!
Thank you so much!!
Pure genius, Thank you so much!
Can't wait to tell my story 😊 always love yourself even when you feel like nobody loves you always remember god love you ❤️
My ex even yelled at me because i was walking around on eggshells. It's been 5 years, it's still hard for me to make a decision. For so long every decision I made, he said was wrong so I just went with what he said. Less drama that way, but less me.
Your an Amazing writer!! This was just brilliant!! Perfectly played as it is so Very true ! I look forward to more videos !! Maybe this will help the Victims of abuse to see the signs !! Red flags and doubting yourself. I see Gabby PETITO in this state . Sad sometimes it is too late .
Thank you for your kind words Tammy! I will try to create more films around this subject - really hope I'll be able to get the feature film off the ground soon!
I really liked this film. I think that gaslighting is hard to understand at first. There's a lot of guilt involved. I feel that raising awareness, will help victims get out of an abusive relationship. For me it took a lot of work, through therapy. I also attended support groups. Now I am much more confident. I am able to stand up for myself. It takes a bit of practice, but it's worth the effort. The people who try to manipulate you, realize that it no.longer works. So they go away. That makes room for those who love you
I am learning english with your videos it is very nice for me. Thank you for your RUclips channel.
Mind games are deadly. Gaslighting should be a crime.. get a therapist if you think someone is playing with your memories! If you genuinely feel it’s not you, get a support system!
God i really hope you'll read my comment Tatjana i'm late i just discovered " your reality " right now .And English is not my language but i want to tell you that i really loved this short film :)
Thanks to your video, I realized what my father did to my mother and me was kind of gaslighting.
Thank u so much! This fil. Is so real u r grt
Wow. That video made me realize my wife is a gaslighter. It's very hurtful feeling to always feel blamed for something I never did 😭😭😭
I’m interested into film industry! But I have stage fright so maybe something else not acting. But it’s still cool to look inside of behind the scenes in real life. 💕
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Thank you for this film x
Maybe it is an idea, to make the follow up of Your reality, where we see, how this gaslighted woman comes out of this toxic relation, and how she becomes self confident and happy. That will show, that a life after such a torture is certainly possible, and probably can give hope to the ones, living with a person, who is gaslighting them.
Go go, all the best!
Thank you❣️❤️💪
THANK YOU-IT WAS MY LIVE
Tatjana, your voice is beautiful no matter what you say it sounds pretty. Where is your accent from?
Aw! That’s so sweet of you to say! My accent is a mixture of Russian, German and British 😂
I love you so much!
💯
Your video came across my feed since I follow this topic and many people who create content solely about narcissists. Just wondering what made you create this film as I see nothing at all about it on your channel whatsoever??
Good question. To be honest, I see myself more as a filmmaker.
However, I truly hope that my films can help people in one way or another and gaslighting is an important topic for me because I've seen too many friends suffer from emotionally abusive partners...
This just mimicked the police bodycam footage of Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie on a traffic stop in Moab. He convinced the police that she was the abuser even though the alert that a guy slapped a girl from a 911 witness report was the reason they stopped them. Less than 12 days later Gabby was found strangled, left in a creek in Teton National Park. Brian headed back home to Florida and after Gabbys family pleaded with him to say where was Gabby, he got a lawyer and used the right to be silent excuse. It ended with him committing suicide and no explanation as to why he killed her. But your film showed how Gabby must have felt, if you go back to the bodycam footage on YT you'll see she is hysterical and he is as cool as a cucumber, like Mark in your film. You should film this story as it has gained wide attention, so will be a winner too?
@Down the rabbit hole to hell, if you remember, when Gabby and Brian were stopped in Moab, Gabby wholeheartedly blamed herself for the fighting.
I Could Never Fully Write Into Words The Pain I Felt While Watching This! Because...I Have Been Living It! And He Knows I Am Leaving! All Of The Sudden I Get So Physically Sick I Cannot Sit Up! Stomach Cramps And Horrible Nausea! He Made Me A Desert?? I Know See I Have Been Sick A Few Times! He Made A Joke The Night The Detectives Had Left! After They Told Me My Oldest Son And His Fiance Were Murdered! Grieving My Son M6 Baby! My Best Friend! My Husband Made An Actually Joke? And He Tormented Me! My Friend Csme And Stayed With Me! And She Saw It All! She Came Out With A Knife! I Am Also Hacked! I Know I Never See Anyone On The Internet! * Was Told He Has Done It And He Knows The Sheriff's! IHe Also Lied To My Son And Ge Left! And Ge Met His Killers Because Of That! He Told My Son I Wanted A Break! Now Who Would Do That! Finally My Son Told Me! I Do Not Know All He Said To My Son?But My Son Said I Will Never Come Back There Mama ! Because He Us Evil! Then My Son Was Murdered! I Am Afraid This Is Going To End In His Death! Because He Has Moved Me Away From Everyone! I Pray And Pray! I Am At A Loss Sincerely, Cindy P.S. There Us So Much! To Much
Actually I thought gaslighting would be something like they say mean things to you and when you react to that they’ll say you are overreacting etc… but good film!
There are not many men out there who are Not narcissists. If we get lucky we meet one who is not violent. I live with a nurse type of narcissist who acts as a care giver, nurse, guardian which is also one way of installing the belief in the other that one is not capable of functioning on her own.
It's unfortunate most abusers are men, women can be abusive too but especially with narcissist gaslighters are men.
Actually just as many men, as women are affected by Gaslighting and are abused by narcissistic women.
Problem is that society is structured to minimize the psychological abuse done to men by women.
Women are more likely to go to therapy, whereas men tend to go it alone and try to figure out on their own how to recover from gaslighting and narcissistic abuse. Resources for men tend to be very limited. I ended up going to a women’s shelter for psychological trauma assistance.
I have met an equal number of men and women affected by gaslighting.
*****
Also, I discovered that the statistics about men being more likely to be narcissistic is truly misleading. Its closer to even; men & women. I have met many women who are very narcissistic.
Narcissist do not typically go to therapy. If a narcissist shows up for therapy, most psychologist, therapist and counselors are not properly trained to recognize a narcissist in therapy; especially the Vulnerable Narcissist. The Overt Narcissist is easy to recognize, because of their overt grandiosity.
oh heyy i loved the film it shed some light to actual toxic beahviors
The ending was surprising, but where is the solutions?
❤️❤️
I feel terrible!
And by the way.. it was awesome
Love you from India 🇮🇳you are damn beautiful♥️
🙏🎬👍👍
Wow! That wasn't your real accent in the film? Incredible!
Aw thank you!!!
You look beautiful. I'm fan of your beauty
I thought you were wonderful!
I've been happily married to a wanna-be-narcissist and gas-lighter for 50 years. Here are some ways I might respond to a comment like, "You're late." and we both KNOW for a fact it's not true:
"I know, right? I'm such a slacker. Remind me to get a new battery for my watch. Or maybe we should BOTH get new batteries."
"You know, that's what I like about you....the fact that you can tell time."
"I was just testing you to see if you can read a watch. Wait until you see what other tests I have up my sleeve."
"You're right. I guess you'll have to find it in your heart to forgive me. I must have done it just to piss you off."
"I apologize, but if it bothers you that much, I can always leave."
The important thing is to respond in such a way as to let him/her know in a light-hearted manner that the "guilt-tactic" will not work on you. Try not to let 'em see you sweat. Once he/she realizes that you are onto him/her and that you refuse to be manipulated, marriage with such a person can actually be kind of fun.
The bf does one bit of gaslighting at the beginning, but the rest of it isn't gaslighting. It's emotional neglect and sabotage, which isn't gaslighting. When she asks where her hard drive is, and he tells her it's in the other room, why is that gaslighting? Y'all clearly need to revisit the concept. That this film called Gaslighting has won all kinds of awards is a form of gaslighting in and of itself. So: Gaslighting is the constant manipulation of a person's reality. How is this woman's reality shifting bc of this man? She's the cause of everything that's happening to her. We never see him do anything to her except toward the end when "all is revealed." It could be a better film. Stop gaslighting us and telling us it's excellent when it isn't.
And btw you're definitely not talking gibberish 😂😂 anything but if we're all honest 👍
Can a man change?
You mean can a narcissist change? Only if they really really want it
It is almost impossible and requires specialized therapy. Many decades long marriages are filled with men going to 12 step groups and therapies and changing for a time, but just for a time, only to change back. It's much easier for them to remain the same.
@Tatjana Anders
Hi Tatjana I get you've your reasons for making the video, and obviously it is your channel to do with what you wish, 100%, but I just don't see why there is such a prominent way of a bias made towards men all round! Men are regarded as being the antagonist when in a modern society all we have is women sexually objectifying themselves to get from one level in life to the next and be self entitledly ignorant but never a comment on the gaslighting of that, how the modern movement is nothing but how good a woman can flaunt herself and Use everything about a man and what he has only to go to the next one who has say more money or more opportunity for her to grow her network... it's just consistent of one way traffic, a lot of women want what they want no matter how they get it, they won't stop till they get it even if it just means moving onto the next... item, pet, usable asset, then toss him away like it's garbage 🤷♂️ suppose maybe this is an entitled woman's way of taking a turn on the merry go round because apparently all men have done this forever a time and then some 🤷♂️ again, I'm not playing down your views or your content.... if anything I'd encourage you to do more, but a just don't see why in general there's not an equilibrium when it comes to issues that equally effect people as a whole... no one has ever allowed a man to come forward as a sufferer quite so much as we see encouragement for women to in modern times but at the very same time as women doing this now.. is when is probably the most prominent time of the gaslighting women themselves do.... a lot of it all seems a way of balancing out to cover backs by a few people as well... and that's maybe another reason why I question why exposure and media aren't shown to back both sides from the get go 🤷♂️
Dr Ramani, Dr Carter, Andrew, Richard Grannon, these are a few you can check out. Many female narcs are out there from my experience. I was double teamed along with all the extras, flying monkeys, from birth. They come in all kinds. Mistakes in relationships are not an exact marker for a diagnosis though. Be yourself, and be kind, you are your own best friend. It is easier to identify those behaviours you want to avoid in others when you are strong in, knowing, and protecting yourself with boundaries. One for going deep is Sam Vacknin.
He was the Victim.