Not just in the internet. This rethoric has existed even before the internet, even our grandparent's generation lived continuously pressed to be "productive" and "disciplined". That only makes it even better to see people who are breaking this archaic way of thinking.
@Tliltocatl Albopilosa tradition exists for a reason - its usually been tested over generations. What makes you think it's "archaic"? Also, "only sith think in absolutes"
Something that helps me, personally, is that I have defined 5 actitivies (reading, meditation, movement etc.) that make me "feel like myself". The goal isn't to do all of them every day, that would be unrealistic in terms of time constraints, but to remind myself of them and to see if I have a bad week that maybe I haven't been prioritising the right things and that might be why I'm feeling uneasy or unhappy.
Since this seems to resonate: The way I do it is I have a little symbol for each thing and i draw a blank of that in my daily planner in advance and each day I fill in the ones I've done that day out of the 5 I track for. So I have a visual reminder each day, an uncomplicated overview over the week and get a free little serotinin boost for "ticking things off" :)
I basically make my schedule specifically for a lazy person. I've found that you actually get more done if you account for your own laziness as you learn to utilize that short period of time when you actually have focus and motivation.
As someone who is almost 50, overachievers always ALWAYS burn out at some point. It can look like them being angry all the time, neglect of home or self, etc. Thank you for speaking on this. Stop comparing yourself to others or where or what you are supposed to be doing.
Well said. I definitely burnt out my first year of teaching, and two years later, I am still recovering. It takes a long time to heal from severe burnout too.
I wish there were more contributions from people in their 50s or 60s or 70s in that productivity discussion! While I love hearing about life experiences from 20somethings who talk about mistakes they made in their teen years but alwqys think to myself, the big fuck ups are still awaiting them...
@@txspacemom765I'm 56 and agree. I feel like it's gotten worse in the age of social media. According to the general population, life is over at 30 and one best have all their goals achieved by then. I see it in the real world too. My son's friend decided to have a wedding on a month and a half notice (it went as well as you think) because she was turning 30 soon and was afraid to be 30 and unmarried to her partner 🤦♂️
Soft discipline has been the only way to prevent myself from procrastination. It really was a life changer when I first applied it. Never ever did I accomplish "hard discipline"
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Honestly, don't settle. Not every day has to be a dumpster fire. Pause, and allow your awareness to help you determine what things you can begin to intentionally change to make your life easier.
I echo this. Expecting oneself to be an expert or perfect with little or no time is technically very unreasonable. It's funny how our minds can work against us like this. Liz offers very unique advice and like you pointed out; it can be rather profound.
I love this, soft discipline! I have always approached my to do’s from a ‘what I’m in the mood for.” People can’t believe I avoid strict scheduling, even people at the gym, they say oh where have you been? I say, I’ve been here, I just come when I’m in the mood at different days/nights and times
yes! show up as you can--as long as you show up; gives yourself room to explore, removes expectation, allows for variance and exploration of different interests; yes yes yes edit: it also feels imp to mention showing up means different things @ different times in our lives -- create room 4 urself + for where ur at
If I simply did "what I'm in the mood for" I won't do *shit,* not even eat. So, it behooves me to be more strictly disciplined...I self-managed better when I did.
I have started to not plan what I have to do for uni per day but just schedule a "time to do uni stuff", usually several hours and then do whatever I am in the mood for. This helps so much because if I am enjoying studying, I will be in the flow and much more efficient than just dragging myself through it. I need the scheduled time though because it is the time that I specifically set for myself to do uni work and anything else has lower priority (because otherwise I will get caught up in cleaning and all the other small stuff that one could do).
The 80,000 Hours sponsorship looks like an idea I had once. I realized that the best way to decide what job I wanted to do next was to look at what I already did, figure out which part of that I liked best, and seek a job that amplifies that part. For example, I grew up helping my dad at craft fairs. This involves talking to a steady stream of strangers. Getting a job as a cashier was an ideal next step. Now, as a cashier, I love it when i get a chance to help someone who needs extra help. The ideal next step would be some kind of caregiving position. My favorite thing about this strategy is that it is exploratory, since there is no perfect job that contains all of the things you might possibly enjoy doing. So don't waste time pursuing that imaginary perfection, and instead explore your interests as you find them. Go through phases. It's fun.
This has been my approach. We are very similar. I love meeting new people and helping as well. Some of my past jobs: sales, entertainer, cashier, massage therapy, medical office manager, and logistics. I went back to college in 2021 and after a couple of rough semesters of misalignment, finally landed on social work.
I wish we had done an exercise like this in high school. Having an idea board with 20 jobs you might enjoy doing in your life would be great to look back on when considering a change.
Lately, every time I try sitting down to study, I begin to get afraid of not working hard enough, not being capable enough to achieve any of the goals that I've set, and whatnot. It gets so bad that I cannot concentrate on my work and get anxious. Soft discipline is definitely a huge need for a majority of today's population.
I´ve experienced the same during college (engineering). Fear of not being intelligent enough to complete the task at hand and anxiety have been present whenever I tried to sit down and study. My advice is: Break down the task into smaller/doable pieces, and focus on the process and not the goal. Focus on the next 10 minutes of writing the essay instead of thinking about how big and demanding it will be
I always hear the successful person said you need to challenge yourself and push your boundary, but every time I did so I got burn out and give up quickly. Thank you for sharing this important message to me. It's healthy and helpful!
As someone that has highs and lows,i find your videos so helpful,being the only pace where I don’t feel criticized by academics were i often feel guilt and frustration, thank you! I needed this video ❤
You know, the deadline thing is brilliant. Trusting that I'm reasonable and will somehow get it done without micro managing myself with an annoying schedule is something I've never heard before. So instead of scheduling just keep track of deadlines.
I never though about it before, but back in the days of school when I was a disciplined person, my mental health was begging for help endlessly. It really is heartwarming to realize that there are other, healthier, softer and more flexible ways to be disciplined. Thank you so much for this video!
ever since I got into college I have been forcing myself to do things daily and the list to do just never ends and I feel like a total looser every single day for the past 2 years . all my confidence is gone and I have no excitement left to do anything. Your videos are a constant reminder of how there is a diffrent way to do things and not micro manage because it might just not be for me .
This channel is literally life changing. I felt so reassuring after I paused the video, went to my calendar and deleted my entire schedule for the day. Suddenly that feeling of burnout and self hatred just vanished. People like YOU must write a book. These things must be very much out there.
I've tried strict scheduling for years and years and always failed. I always came back to having multiple kinds of to-do lists (chores, schoolwork, appts, etc.) and just intuitively placing them on days on a weekly planner where I think are best to complete them. Don't beat yourself up too. I trust myself to get the task done eventually, even if I don't meet the deadline I set. Sometimes things just take more time than expected, so let that happen, and enjoy the process.
Cyclical living has helped a lot with this for me. I have so much more compassion for myself when my interest or energy wanes. I really like structure and it took deep inner work to be able to not feel judged by it and determine my value based on my performance. And with cyclical living on top of that, it's just a wonderful, balanced, productive life that I've been able to create. I feel good consistently and that's what I wanted most. Whew, that was a tough shift haha
This is gold! Really, it’s all about finding flow and alignment in a larger sense than we’re accustomed to thinking about it-than just the “result.” Seems like a much wiser way of living. Appreciate this.
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I can't put into words that how much this video relieved me. I was in a circle of constantly blaming myself, and restricting myself from the things I liked to do for self-discipline. I had this prenotion of "deserving someting"- and I was never deserving it. No wonder past few months were hell for me. Thank you so much. I will come back to this again and again to remind myself things I tend to forget.
Hi, Elizabeth. I'm from Ukraine, Odesa. I am so glad I've found your channel these tough days. Learning english via your videos is such a trip helping to avoid mental burnout. There are tons of useful tips you provide. Keep on. You are so smart and charming.
As a student currently taking a break, I remember I used to motivate myself to study by thinking about my reward, like a new book or a tasty treat. However, right now my whole body is asking for time off and I find it difficult not to feel guilty, you made some great points in your video, I should give myself a deadline too and make time for things I enjoy 💗
only just started the video but i love how you say we shouldn’t do habits as a form of self hatred and ive been starting working out and i used to do it because i was insecure but now im trying to think of it as a form of self love and ive noticed it makes me think of giving up less than when i would workout based on self hatred ❤ its still difficult to get out that old mindset but i am trying
This is so interesting! I've been living like this for years. It does really come down to proving yourself to yourself a couple of times and then learning to trust yourself. I've proven to myself that I can meet deadlines without being super strict in the past and so I know that I can do it again and again. Even now while training for a half marathon, I sometimes give myself the day off from training when I'm feeling unmotivated or tired because I know that in two days time things will probably look completely different and I'll be able to motivate myself then better than I am now. Great video!
When you started describing discipline and scheduling I realized oh my god there’s a community of people like me 😩 I’m glad the algorithm brought me here
i've been resenting my job so much lately and trying to get out, which i now realized stems more from my anxiety and dissatisfaction with my quality of work over the job situation itself. this video gave me a different perspective of instead of running away, i should try to make peace with my internal emotion first and find better ways to be productive. thank you!
I cannot express how much I needed someone to tell me this. Coming from a family who are hard workers I’ve always had anxiety about not feeling the same way and laid back and had shame about not doing something right the first time. I’m taking this advice to heart. Thank you so much
As a post-secondary instructor, you've helped me in rethinking my approach to teaching, which has led to better student engagement and performance. While I believe that interim and final deadlines for projects are important, I'm now starting to adopt a more flexible attitude towards them. This shift aims to provide students with more flexibility as to when things are submitted, enabling them to get into a flow state more easily while working on project-based coursework.
Wow, thank you for this. I'm studying computer science while working fulltime and also doing an extra certification. And I felt overwhelmed on my self discipline because I was asking too much from myself. I definitely felt identified with everything you said and I'm convinced to start practicing soft discipline instead of being so hard on my self. Thank you!
I relate a lot to the things you said about how you used to motivate yourself. I've reached the point where I just can't motivate myself with self-hate anymore, so I must find other, gentler, kinder forms of motivation!
I have been preparing to a particular exam for almost two years. Apparently, i have 3 months left so I must study in daily basis, like everyday. In this journey I learned all of your advices by experiencing myself. I wish I had see your videos before because all of it is so accurate. Working constantly and overcome procrastination were always the hardest ones to go through. Eventually I am grateful for what I listened here I'll take that as a note to be the master of stability!
This has been probably the most valuable of all your videos so far for me. This is the very thing I struggle most these days, so much that I don’t really subscribe to most productive content anymore. Excellent topic, one that’s near and dear to me. And excellent video!
Well, with ADHD and my energy and motivation levels as "wack" and inconsistent as they are, I have learned to do this and quite frankly I love seeing and hearing you put it into words and a short video essay. It's extremely satisfying ^^ (I also apply parts of this to relationships like the "not powering through" part. I have a threshold, so to speak. I try for a bit, then some more, and if I'm at my limit, and the effort isn't balanced, then there's in no point in trying further - in this case, relationship wise, it would be final, of course. And I don't look back or reminiscence at all, because there is nothing for me to gain in doing so). Thanks for doing this Elizabeth, you're crushing it!
I have ADHD and it don't work for me. I'd need structure. Plus, my being interested in something has not meant that I do well/ it pays off for me. So... yeah.
Since childhood until two months ago when someone would ask me who my role model was i'd feel so anxious and foolish for struggling to find one... As cheesy as it might sound, finding someone that is somewhat similar to me(struggling with consistency and keeping up with organised schedules, obsessing over something for a couple of weeks, admires art but also doesn't want to pursue it as a career, hardworking and has a mindset that i am currently working towards having,...and a lot more) has been such a relief and now i think if someone asked me who my role model is (even though i don't particularly love the idea of role models...) I would confidently say you
I love the idea of declaring your "personal tax". It's such a great way to objectively looking at our pros and cons and being compassionate about our flaws! Thank you for sharing this soft discipline concept! Needed this ❤
Omg your intro describes me perfectly! My micromanaging boss drives me insane but I didn't realize I was micromanaging myself all along! I'm totally guilty of perpetuating a cycle of burnout by setting strict schedules and creating overly ambitious goals. Thank you for sharing. I love the idea of soft discipline and I think this perspective will finally allow me to break out of this toxic cycle.
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This video perfectly encapsulates a lot of things I've learnt over the course of my first year in university-plus a lot of new and helpful advice! Just stop beating yourself up so much, and you'll feel and perform a lot better.
"Disciplined" overachiever here. The trick is to just ignore how you're feeling, how exhausted you are, and just... push through. It's miserable. So this video is for me. Thank you. I'm curious what I can take from it.
i love this refreshing perspective. as much as i love filling in a schedule, I've found that it comes from a lot of the self doubt that i have from people telling me I'm not doing enough even when i was doing well. i know i need to give myself the grace to let that go, but change is slow lol.
As someone with demand avoidance, this is incredibly validating. I naturally operate in these ways and feel wrong about it just because it's not how most of the rest of the world does things.
To make your life easier: 0:00 Intro 2:20 Limit strict scheduling 6:53 When powering through is stupid 10:09 Declare your personal tax 12:12 Non-proposterous personal pay
I love this concept. I've always thought there is something wrong with me for working differently brainwise. What I understood is: it helps more to work with myself rather than doing what is expected from me and how I think other people do that thing and trying to copy it. Instead I'll try working with myself listening to my brain and body. Thanks Elizabeth ❤
This is exactly what I need. I’m healing and trying to rebuild myself and my life. But also trying to increase my self-accountability where it will help me and future me. I have been very hard on myself my whole life and completely bristle at the word “discipline” Maybe I can flow with soft-discipline
Within 1 minute of the video Elizabeth managed to understand me better than idk if I'd spoken to anyone for months describing what I'm going through !! And them still probably not getting it !
Incredible! I have never been able to operate in a strictly disciplined way. Whenever I tried, guilt, resentment for learning, and the cycle of self-hatred would ensue. People would question how I could meet deadlines and achieve without strict discipline. However, operating in a way that utilizes your natural energy levels rather than forcing things has been incredibly beneficial. Thank you for validating that there are alternatives to reach the results that people promise through strict discipline. Love this!!
You always seem to upload videos regarding topics that I have been struggling with. It's so nice to have a person who I relate to very much basically say "it's okay you're feeling like this, but let's see what why you're feeling this way and tackle those problems, okay?" Thank you, Elizabeth, really.
Hi I love your content. I'm a new watcher but I know something I struggle with is that people tell me to "just do ____" for instance "just love yourself" and I feel like you actually breakdown logical steps on how to do these things. I see your techniques are actually logical ways to have self compassion. Real practical examples ❤😊
Consider creating a document for each video where you encapsulate the video’s essence into an executive summary with links to video timestamps where readers can hear more detail if desired. I’m thinking this would be a great perk to send to your Patreon members when you release each video.
I just saw an example of this in my own life the past few days but couldn't put it into words, and I stumble upon this video. And it's one thing to hear the advice "be more compassionate towards yourself and utilise your natural strengths" and a whole other to see very practical tips on how to achieve this, as you've provided here. This is SO VALUABLE! So thank you a lot! Subscribed ^_^
This is the most refreshing thing iv come across. It’s definitely an eye opener I always seem to be that person who thinks I’m not working hard enough and I’m turn I end up being tired before I start especially for goals that I had, and didn’t complete. I definitely need to just be a beginner and be fine with that. Like working out I know my form isn’t good but if I don’t do it at all it won’t ever be good so I keep going and each day I get a bit better. I need to approach my goals like that and to not be strict. I used to be suuuuper strict with myself and after Covid I found I missed that type of dedication but I also, at the same time, found after Covid I didn’t work the same way. I didn’t like the tight schedules and I found most tasks day to day would pile up. I’d feel like a failure because out of 5 tasks I had to do, I only did two or three and each day I’d have tasks left from the day before and it felt like better to do nothing well almost. I think this will help me. It’s so hard to live like a robot which is how I guess I did before. It just doesn’t work and isn’t sustainable at ALL
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I have never heard of soft discipline until now. I started my medical residency last year and I have noticed a slow decline in my overall energy until I hit the lowest point of my burnout these past few months. Then after I realized my mistake of strict discipline my whole life. I started to correct it slowly exactly how you described it! Thank you for speaking about this I hope more people are exposed to this type of lifestyle. Cheers.
Elisabeth, you are the best ❤️ I needed this video. Thank you for uploading it now 😉 We should prioritize self-love and trust ourselfs in our schedules, not overplanning. Amen!
I've seen the videos that say: You're not lazy, your burnt out and wanted to see what it means. I surround myself with positive people. But sometimes they use negative means to an end, when they want change. Change can be gentle when you give yourself a break. It doesn't have to be a crisis.
I recently found about your channel and I love it! As an ADHDer, I struggle a lot with studying and your videos really motivate me a lot. I love how your content is clear and you are well spoken! If I would have to give feedback, it would be that you speak really fast :D When I adjust the speed its normal, but why all the rush! Best regards!
Thank you for this different perspective, it's nice to hear a different approach than the regular "work smarter, not harder" I needed this gentle and soft reminder and outlook.
Projeto Disciplina Branda 1 - Trabalhe com prazos e não com tarefas 2 - Seja um iniciante (Pense se esta se divertindo/brincando com algo ou se está muito na etapa de especialista tebte ocilar entre os dois) incentive a sua curiosidade por aquilo todos os dias 3 - Veja se não está se trabalhando/estudando demais e tente recompensa-lo pelo seu trabalho mas não de forma abusiva, E sim para não tornar seu Trabalho/Estudo etediante.
god, I'm also an impatient person and I struggle with things you mentioned and it's so hard for me to know when I should pay my tax and when not. You gave me really a perspective about it.
i have developed a more or less similar method of discipline for myself. i know that i will complete it, as i consistently have. i know i will hold myself accountable when i don't. it allows for me to enjoy every moment as it passes, be more open to serendipity or whims of creativity, with significantly fewer stressors squeezing me for a bit of time or energy. i find that i enjoy my work more, even look forward to it. when it's time to work, i put my full effort in and receive more out. thanks for sharing this method with your large audience.
This has a lot of helpful tips, thank you Elizabeth. I think the way we picture productivity really has to change, cause it is not about putting so much effort to end up burning yourself out, but rather what you gain in the time you spend doing something
She is my favorite productivity content creator, because this is how I succeed. Being more positive about what everything can bring me, by being more curious, I enjoy more every class or subject Wich makes me want to work a little more (even on class I don t like). And NO micro planning! I have some study time Wich are moment I am in a place where I can focus, BUT I don t know ahead what I would do on those, I choose what I am confortable doing at those time. And If I absolutely don t feel like doing anything I AM OFF. For it to work the first step still was to learn how to be more productive, because even if you work on a good mood and energy, if you don t know how to work well, you will lose time or quality of work. So finding how you learn, focus, how to be faster at what you do is a must.
I really enjoy your way of conducting and sharing your own discoveries with us. It brings me so much relief to have people who struggles with the same things I do, and find out such a logical/feasible “solution”. Thank you for sharing with us
Binge watch Elizabeth videos early Sunday morning around 4:00 am with headset on before my 7:00 am 5 mile wake make me save more time because Elizabeth speed broadcast . I am adding Elizabeth recent favorite books recommendations: 80,000 hours and 101 Essays that will chance the way you think to my must read books. Ps my favorite color is blue, you’re a painter and artist surprise your subs and your work colleagues by introducing a new color in your life so we can see the other Elizabeth that you always talk about. Have a safe and a productive week ( I know you will). Love ❤the Channel.
I like the point that you need to spend more time being a novice. I've always liked the Dreyfus model of skill acquisition. I use it a lot to train inexperienced managers.
Oh my god. I started doing these things BEFORE I watched this video and I had noticed they've improved my productivity immensely. Ever since I stopped strict scheduling, my productivity improved two times at least.
I feel like a wasted potential all the time these days. Even though my academic results are pretty good my family members criticise me for being lazy and make me feel like I could've done better. They basically compare me with someone who is a type A person. For this I cannot focus on my studies these days and my exam is in few days. Thanks for this, your videos always help,
I love your content. Thank you so much for your view on self-discipline. I always was thought that I should just make myself do something I don’t want to but need to and this is a real discipline.
Thank you, Elizabeth. Your videos provoke new ideas and perspectives. Also they remind be about being kind and caring for yourself. At the end of this video I thought to myself: "what even motivates most of us? Isn't it fear of being abandoned, being judged and hated?". It is so sad. I don't want to be driven by fear and neglect myself. I want to do things because they are good for me
I’m a med student and your channel has made me feel like I’m not the only one who uses this system of organized chaos. Thank you for helping me be kind to myself💜. Side note, would you be able to make a video on studying for long-term board exams/ anything that requires a more regimented approach? I’m studying for step 1 rn and I’m finding that there’s no choice but for me to be more disciplined and it’s been rough😅
i'm also chaotic and ali abdaal's technique of planning helped me a lot. he had a video about it, about no planning week per week but just studying and noting the date you studied a specific topic on an excel, and figuring it out from there (like if you studied something too long ago you study it again)
This is such a valuable piece of content. I didn't realise that my approach to work and achievement had a name; 'soft discipline'! I have been accused of being lazy in the past, but I look back on things and all I can ask is... why? I have achieved so much professionally and personally and I've done It without burning myself out. So validating to see this video!
Our daughter, who is about to enter graduate school heading towards a medical degree. Physical therapy. Is suffering from much of this. When I hear about her work load on a daily basis my head starts spinning! And she works as many hours as she can at a physical therapy office as a current assistant in her field! 😬😳☢️🤯
I love the way you approach your life Elizabeth. The tools and principles you’ve developed for yourself are brilliant and insightful and I think it’s helpful that you’ve framed your differences as strengths. I wish that I had thought like you as I went through my four degrees. I was always a good student but struggled with focus and finishing things on time. I went through cycles of white knuckling the discipline to finish and then burnout where I couldn’t meet my deadlines leading to low self esteem. At 50 years old I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I feel like my diagnosis explains my entire life. I’m curious to know if you have ever been screened for ADHD? Some of what you describe seems to match the symptoms such as impatience, impulsivity and the need to be inspired in order to focus. I’m not sure that I’m going to try meds for my ADHD but the diagnosis has been interesting as a piece of self knowledge and for better understanding how my mind works and how to work with it instead of fighting it constantly 💕
Honestly the meds are so worth it. Took me about 6 months to find the right dose and it’s not a perfect solution but HONESTLY it is amazing and you should try it!
@@larissapienaar2436 Thanks for sharing your experience and the info that Elizabeth has talked about ADHD in other videos. Much appreciated. Currently researching meds but helpful to know they worked well for you. Thanks 💕
@@eel324 Good luck. The best thing about ADHD meds is that one can try them without consequence and stop immediately if they’re not working for you without any withdrawal or negative effects, so I hope you are able to leap in and get yourself help 😊
What you described in the beginning sounds *a LOT* like ADHD, ADD, or some other neurodivergent brain disorder. I know because I have it. This channel and others like it have been a godsend for figuring my life out after high school
It's funny that you say neurodivergent brain disorder. Those things are usually opposed, no? (neurodivergence being kinda political, insisting on diffference, whereas brain disorder is more patologizing/insists on malfunction)
@@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 hm i see it as neurodivergence can be one of the ways the disorder manifests or affects the mind. for example, the ring of fire is notable in scans and often also in how an individual explains their thinking or behaves
This was so thoughtful, Elizabeth. I love how much you have observed your own nature and have found creative ways to work with yourself, and not against yourself. Even though I am familiar with a lot of the things you cover from other videos, your use of lived examples makes it uniquely your own. You have carefully selected your ideas to flow in a very mindful way, and your personal insights and presentation reflect your own personal growth, even though it sounds like you are still your own greatest work in progress. In general, I agree with most of what you said. Here's the only thing we would likely disagree on: rest must also include periods of non-achievement with no external distractions. Outside of physiological sleep, there must be a daily opportunity where we consciously shut off our minds from the outside world and surrender all effort to do things. This pause will allow us to restore our body and minds and accomplish more in less time without burning out.
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I definitely burn out on the hedonistic phases, like gaming 12 hours or similar - kind of rely on it to get me out of the post-burnout catharsis and back to being productive, doesn't feel healthy though.
It would have been a whole heap easier if I had come to this self-kindness BEFORE I red lined everything and almost blew up. Still, here now. Many thanks for collating nicely what I finally discovered for myself.
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I love how you are changing the “productivity” dogma on the internet. Hats off.
Productivity dogma, very eloquently put, I like that a lot.
Not just in the internet. This rethoric has existed even before the internet, even our grandparent's generation lived continuously pressed to be "productive" and "disciplined". That only makes it even better to see people who are breaking this archaic way of thinking.
@@pandorabox5532 "archaic" doesn't exist. There is only traditional and efficiency
@Tliltocatl Albopilosa tradition exists for a reason - its usually been tested over generations. What makes you think it's "archaic"?
Also, "only sith think in absolutes"
she’s not productive, she’s realistic
Something that helps me, personally, is that I have defined 5 actitivies (reading, meditation, movement etc.) that make me "feel like myself". The goal isn't to do all of them every day, that would be unrealistic in terms of time constraints, but to remind myself of them and to see if I have a bad week that maybe I haven't been prioritising the right things and that might be why I'm feeling uneasy or unhappy.
I love this :) Thank you for sharing.
I agree, thank you!
this is great! i think one of my activities is eating lunch with a good friend :)
Since this seems to resonate:
The way I do it is I have a little symbol for each thing and i draw a blank of that in my daily planner in advance and each day I fill in the ones I've done that day out of the 5 I track for.
So I have a visual reminder each day, an uncomplicated overview over the week and get a free little serotinin boost for "ticking things off" :)
this sounds so uplifting!! thank you!
I basically make my schedule specifically for a lazy person. I've found that you actually get more done if you account for your own laziness as you learn to utilize that short period of time when you actually have focus and motivation.
@enigmabodylanguage this is freaking GENIUS! Omg. Beyond IRL getting things done, it’ll also 🛑 the dumpster fire of EOB SHAME!
Can I ask how? I legitimately feel lazy and/or tired all the time. Could you give an example of how you structure your day?
As someone who is almost 50, overachievers always ALWAYS burn out at some point. It can look like them being angry all the time, neglect of home or self, etc. Thank you for speaking on this. Stop comparing yourself to others or where or what you are supposed to be doing.
Well said. I definitely burnt out my first year of teaching, and two years later, I am still recovering. It takes a long time to heal from severe burnout too.
I wish there were more contributions from people in their 50s or 60s or 70s in that productivity discussion!
While I love hearing about life experiences from 20somethings who talk about mistakes they made in their teen years but alwqys think to myself, the big fuck ups are still awaiting them...
And when I say fuck up I mean potential for learning lol
@@Polly_Jean We don't value anyone over 30 in the US. It's sad.
@@txspacemom765I'm 56 and agree. I feel like it's gotten worse in the age of social media. According to the general population, life is over at 30 and one best have all their goals achieved by then. I see it in the real world too. My son's friend decided to have a wedding on a month and a half notice (it went as well as you think) because she was turning 30 soon and was afraid to be 30 and unmarried to her partner 🤦♂️
'Being very discipline always came from place of fear and terror' well said 🎉 1:31
This is so ADHD friendly and just develops self-compassion in general. Thank you so much!
Soft discipline has been the only way to prevent myself from procrastination. It really was a life changer when I first applied it. Never ever did I accomplish "hard discipline"
Hey ❤️ congratulations 🎉 you have been selected randomly among my shortlisted giveaway winners kindly send a text on telegram with the name above to claim your prize🎊🎁!
I’d love to live a consistently successful life… but at this point? I’d settle for accidentally stumbling into a day that wasn’t a dumpster fire.
honestly if I could put that in a RUclips title, I would - it's defo the non-sugar-coated version of my title 😭
This.
I'd watch a video with that title 🤣
Honestly, don't settle. Not every day has to be a dumpster fire. Pause, and allow your awareness to help you determine what things you can begin to intentionally change to make your life easier.
Lol
I love your point about not spending enough time being a beginner. How profound. Thank you!
I echo this. Expecting oneself to be an expert or perfect with little or no time is technically very unreasonable. It's funny how our minds can work against us like this. Liz offers very unique advice and like you pointed out; it can be rather profound.
I love this, soft discipline! I have always approached my to do’s from a ‘what I’m in the mood for.” People can’t believe I avoid strict scheduling, even people at the gym, they say oh where have you been? I say, I’ve been here, I just come when I’m in the mood at different days/nights and times
yes! show up as you can--as long as you show up; gives yourself room to explore, removes expectation, allows for variance and exploration of different interests; yes yes yes
edit: it also feels imp to mention showing up means different things @ different times in our lives -- create room 4 urself + for where ur at
If I simply did "what I'm in the mood for" I won't do *shit,* not even eat. So, it behooves me to be more strictly disciplined...I self-managed better when I did.
I have started to not plan what I have to do for uni per day but just schedule a "time to do uni stuff", usually several hours and then do whatever I am in the mood for. This helps so much because if I am enjoying studying, I will be in the flow and much more efficient than just dragging myself through it. I need the scheduled time though because it is the time that I specifically set for myself to do uni work and anything else has lower priority (because otherwise I will get caught up in cleaning and all the other small stuff that one could do).
The 80,000 Hours sponsorship looks like an idea I had once. I realized that the best way to decide what job I wanted to do next was to look at what I already did, figure out which part of that I liked best, and seek a job that amplifies that part. For example, I grew up helping my dad at craft fairs. This involves talking to a steady stream of strangers. Getting a job as a cashier was an ideal next step. Now, as a cashier, I love it when i get a chance to help someone who needs extra help. The ideal next step would be some kind of caregiving position. My favorite thing about this strategy is that it is exploratory, since there is no perfect job that contains all of the things you might possibly enjoy doing. So don't waste time pursuing that imaginary perfection, and instead explore your interests as you find them. Go through phases. It's fun.
This has been my approach. We are very similar. I love meeting new people and helping as well. Some of my past jobs: sales, entertainer, cashier, massage therapy, medical office manager, and logistics. I went back to college in 2021 and after a couple of rough semesters of misalignment, finally landed on social work.
Thank u so much!!!
I wish we had done an exercise like this in high school. Having an idea board with 20 jobs you might enjoy doing in your life would be great to look back on when considering a change.
Be careful if you're caregiving, it's a lovely job sometimes and sometimes it's horrendous.
Thank you ❤️
It's so refreshing to find that other persons have almost the exact same internal experiences, mentality, and personality type as yourself.
She's literally the only person I can watch over and over again without getting bored or tired 💖 you inspire me sm w my channel 💖🥰🍓♥️♥️🥰♥️
Put the videos 1.5-2x faster. Thank me later.
me too
Yeah she is really beautiful 😻
eeeek thank you ❤️
@@elizabethfilips my pleasure 💞
Lately, every time I try sitting down to study, I begin to get afraid of not working hard enough, not being capable enough to achieve any of the goals that I've set, and whatnot. It gets so bad that I cannot concentrate on my work and get anxious. Soft discipline is definitely a huge need for a majority of today's population.
Same with the studying, just ranted to my mum about it earlier ... I find her long-term-instead-of-short-term-goals-tip very helpful
I´ve experienced the same during college (engineering). Fear of not being intelligent enough to complete the task at hand and anxiety have been present whenever I tried to sit down and study. My advice is: Break down the task into smaller/doable pieces, and focus on the process and not the goal. Focus on the next 10 minutes of writing the essay instead of thinking about how big and demanding it will be
Any day that I wake up manic instead of depressed, I consider a blessing; I can get stuff done that day!
I always hear the successful person said you need to challenge yourself and push your boundary, but every time I did so I got burn out and give up quickly. Thank you for sharing this important message to me. It's healthy and helpful!
As someone that has highs and lows,i find your videos so helpful,being the only pace where I don’t feel criticized by academics were i often feel guilt and frustration, thank you! I needed this video ❤
Definitely! Her videos are helpful and amazing.
You know, the deadline thing is brilliant. Trusting that I'm reasonable and will somehow get it done without micro managing myself with an annoying schedule is something I've never heard before. So instead of scheduling just keep track of deadlines.
I never though about it before, but back in the days of school when I was a disciplined person, my mental health was begging for help endlessly.
It really is heartwarming to realize that there are other, healthier, softer and more flexible ways to be disciplined. Thank you so much for this video!
ever since I got into college I have been forcing myself to do things daily and the list to do just never ends and I feel like a total looser every single day for the past 2 years . all my confidence is gone and I have no excitement left to do anything. Your videos are a constant reminder of how there is a diffrent way to do things and not micro manage because it might just not be for me .
Please don't give up, you really don't sound like a loser to me; keep hoping and keep striving whilst taking care of yourself😊
This channel is literally life changing. I felt so reassuring after I paused the video, went to my calendar and deleted my entire schedule for the day. Suddenly that feeling of burnout and self hatred just vanished. People like YOU must write a book. These things must be very much out there.
I've tried strict scheduling for years and years and always failed. I always came back to having multiple kinds of to-do lists (chores, schoolwork, appts, etc.) and just intuitively placing them on days on a weekly planner where I think are best to complete them. Don't beat yourself up too. I trust myself to get the task done eventually, even if I don't meet the deadline I set. Sometimes things just take more time than expected, so let that happen, and enjoy the process.
Whenever I would tell my grandma I felt stressed she would remind me life is meant to be enjoyed.
Cyclical living has helped a lot with this for me. I have so much more compassion for myself when my interest or energy wanes. I really like structure and it took deep inner work to be able to not feel judged by it and determine my value based on my performance. And with cyclical living on top of that, it's just a wonderful, balanced, productive life that I've been able to create. I feel good consistently and that's what I wanted most. Whew, that was a tough shift haha
This is gold! Really, it’s all about finding flow and alignment in a larger sense than we’re accustomed to thinking about it-than just the “result.” Seems like a much wiser way of living. Appreciate this.
The reason we are here in life is to make a positive impact and improve the world in some way, whether it's by helping others, creating something new, or making a difference in our community.
I can't put into words that how much this video relieved me. I was in a circle of constantly blaming myself, and restricting myself from the things I liked to do for self-discipline. I had this prenotion of "deserving someting"- and I was never deserving it. No wonder past few months were hell for me. Thank you so much. I will come back to this again and again to remind myself things I tend to forget.
Hi, Elizabeth. I'm from Ukraine, Odesa. I am so glad I've found your channel these tough days. Learning english via your videos is such a trip helping to avoid mental burnout. There are tons of useful tips you provide. Keep on. You are so smart and charming.
As a student currently taking a break, I remember I used to motivate myself to study by thinking about my reward, like a new book or a tasty treat. However, right now my whole body is asking for time off and I find it difficult not to feel guilty, you made some great points in your video, I should give myself a deadline too and make time for things I enjoy 💗
only just started the video but i love how you say we shouldn’t do habits as a form of self hatred and ive been starting working out and i used to do it because i was insecure but now im trying to think of it as a form of self love and ive noticed it makes me think of giving up less than when i would workout based on self hatred ❤ its still difficult to get out that old mindset but i am trying
This is so interesting! I've been living like this for years. It does really come down to proving yourself to yourself a couple of times and then learning to trust yourself. I've proven to myself that I can meet deadlines without being super strict in the past and so I know that I can do it again and again.
Even now while training for a half marathon, I sometimes give myself the day off from training when I'm feeling unmotivated or tired because I know that in two days time things will probably look completely different and I'll be able to motivate myself then better than I am now.
Great video!
When you started describing discipline and scheduling I realized oh my god there’s a community of people like me 😩
I’m glad the algorithm brought me here
i've been resenting my job so much lately and trying to get out, which i now realized stems more from my anxiety and dissatisfaction with my quality of work over the job situation itself. this video gave me a different perspective of instead of running away, i should try to make peace with my internal emotion first and find better ways to be productive. thank you!
I cannot express how much I needed someone to tell me this. Coming from a family who are hard workers I’ve always had anxiety about not feeling the same way and laid back and had shame about not doing something right the first time. I’m taking this advice to heart. Thank you so much
"Don't believe everything you think." Such a powerful statement. Thank you for the video. Some things to think about.
As a post-secondary instructor, you've helped me in rethinking my approach to teaching, which has led to better student engagement and performance. While I believe that interim and final deadlines for projects are important, I'm now starting to adopt a more flexible attitude towards them. This shift aims to provide students with more flexibility as to when things are submitted, enabling them to get into a flow state more easily while working on project-based coursework.
Wow, thank you for this. I'm studying computer science while working fulltime and also doing an extra certification. And I felt overwhelmed on my self discipline because I was asking too much from myself. I definitely felt identified with everything you said and I'm convinced to start practicing soft discipline instead of being so hard on my self. Thank you!
I relate a lot to the things you said about how you used to motivate yourself. I've reached the point where I just can't motivate myself with self-hate anymore, so I must find other, gentler, kinder forms of motivation!
I have been preparing to a particular exam for almost two years. Apparently, i have 3 months left so I must study in daily basis, like everyday. In this journey I learned all of your advices by experiencing myself. I wish I had see your videos before because all of it is so accurate. Working constantly and overcome procrastination were always the hardest ones to go through. Eventually I am grateful for what I listened here I'll take that as a note to be the master of stability!
This has been probably the most valuable of all your videos so far for me. This is the very thing I struggle most these days, so much that I don’t really subscribe to most productive content anymore. Excellent topic, one that’s near and dear to me. And excellent video!
thank you so much Arin!
Well, with ADHD and my energy and motivation levels as "wack" and inconsistent as they are, I have learned to do this and quite frankly I love seeing and hearing you put it into words and a short video essay. It's extremely satisfying ^^
(I also apply parts of this to relationships like the "not powering through" part. I have a threshold, so to speak. I try for a bit, then some more, and if I'm at my limit, and the effort isn't balanced, then there's in no point in trying further - in this case, relationship wise, it would be final, of course. And I don't look back or reminiscence at all, because there is nothing for me to gain in doing so).
Thanks for doing this Elizabeth, you're crushing it!
I have ADHD and it don't work for me. I'd need structure. Plus, my being interested in something has not meant that I do well/ it pays off for me. So... yeah.
Since childhood until two months ago when someone would ask me who my role model was i'd feel so anxious and foolish for struggling to find one... As cheesy as it might sound, finding someone that is somewhat similar to me(struggling with consistency and keeping up with organised schedules, obsessing over something for a couple of weeks, admires art but also doesn't want to pursue it as a career, hardworking and has a mindset that i am currently working towards having,...and a lot more) has been such a relief and now i think if someone asked me who my role model is (even though i don't particularly love the idea of role models...) I would confidently say you
Thanks for this. I needed it. I'm 55 and am learning so much
I love the idea of declaring your "personal tax". It's such a great way to objectively looking at our pros and cons and being compassionate about our flaws! Thank you for sharing this soft discipline concept! Needed this ❤
Loooove it! First “for real people” lessons I’ve heard.
Omg your intro describes me perfectly! My micromanaging boss drives me insane but I didn't realize I was micromanaging myself all along! I'm totally guilty of perpetuating a cycle of burnout by setting strict schedules and creating overly ambitious goals. Thank you for sharing. I love the idea of soft discipline and I think this perspective will finally allow me to break out of this toxic cycle.
Hey ❤️ congratulations 🎉 you have been selected randomly among my shortlisted giveaway winners kindly send a text on telegram with the name above to claim your prize🎊🎁…
This video perfectly encapsulates a lot of things I've learnt over the course of my first year in university-plus a lot of new and helpful advice!
Just stop beating yourself up so much, and you'll feel and perform a lot better.
"Disciplined" overachiever here. The trick is to just ignore how you're feeling, how exhausted you are, and just... push through. It's miserable.
So this video is for me. Thank you. I'm curious what I can take from it.
i love this refreshing perspective. as much as i love filling in a schedule, I've found that it comes from a lot of the self doubt that i have from people telling me I'm not doing enough even when i was doing well. i know i need to give myself the grace to let that go, but change is slow lol.
As someone with demand avoidance, this is incredibly validating. I naturally operate in these ways and feel wrong about it just because it's not how most of the rest of the world does things.
To make your life easier:
0:00 Intro
2:20 Limit strict scheduling
6:53 When powering through is stupid
10:09 Declare your personal tax
12:12 Non-proposterous personal pay
I love this concept. I've always thought there is something wrong with me for working differently brainwise. What I understood is: it helps more to work with myself rather than doing what is expected from me and how I think other people do that thing and trying to copy it. Instead I'll try working with myself listening to my brain and body. Thanks Elizabeth ❤
This is exactly what I need. I’m healing and trying to rebuild myself and my life. But also trying to increase my self-accountability where it will help me and future me. I have been very hard on myself my whole life and completely bristle at the word “discipline” Maybe I can flow with soft-discipline
You´ve literally saved me from another burnout 😭 thanks a lot for sharing
Within 1 minute of the video Elizabeth managed to understand me better than idk if I'd spoken to anyone for months describing what I'm going through !! And them still probably not getting it !
Incredible! I have never been able to operate in a strictly disciplined way. Whenever I tried, guilt, resentment for learning, and the cycle of self-hatred would ensue. People would question how I could meet deadlines and achieve without strict discipline. However, operating in a way that utilizes your natural energy levels rather than forcing things has been incredibly beneficial. Thank you for validating that there are alternatives to reach the results that people promise through strict discipline. Love this!!
You always seem to upload videos regarding topics that I have been struggling with. It's so nice to have a person who I relate to very much basically say "it's okay you're feeling like this, but let's see what why you're feeling this way and tackle those problems, okay?" Thank you, Elizabeth, really.
Hi I love your content. I'm a new watcher but I know something I struggle with is that people tell me to "just do ____" for instance "just love yourself" and I feel like you actually breakdown logical steps on how to do these things. I see your techniques are actually logical ways to have self compassion. Real practical examples ❤😊
Consider creating a document for each video where you encapsulate the video’s essence into an executive summary with links to video timestamps where readers can hear more detail if desired. I’m thinking this would be a great perk to send to your Patreon members when you release each video.
I LOVE THIS IDEA
i would 100% sign up for patreon for this
I love how your deep voice clearing my confusions and giving me hope😍
Some awesome ideas in this video, I’m definitely going to try to implement some of these things!
I like ur videos
I just saw an example of this in my own life the past few days but couldn't put it into words, and I stumble upon this video. And it's one thing to hear the advice "be more compassionate towards yourself and utilise your natural strengths" and a whole other to see very practical tips on how to achieve this, as you've provided here. This is SO VALUABLE! So thank you a lot! Subscribed ^_^
This is the most refreshing thing iv come across. It’s definitely an eye opener I always seem to be that person who thinks I’m not working hard enough and I’m turn I end up being tired before I start especially for goals that I had, and didn’t complete. I definitely need to just be a beginner and be fine with that. Like working out I know my form isn’t good but if I don’t do it at all it won’t ever be good so I keep going and each day I get a bit better. I need to approach my goals like that and to not be strict. I used to be suuuuper strict with myself and after Covid I found I missed that type of dedication but I also, at the same time, found after Covid I didn’t work the same way. I didn’t like the tight schedules and I found most tasks day to day would pile up. I’d feel like a failure because out of 5 tasks I had to do, I only did two or three and each day I’d have tasks left from the day before and it felt like better to do nothing well almost. I think this will help me. It’s so hard to live like a robot which is how I guess I did before. It just doesn’t work and isn’t sustainable at ALL
Hey ❤️ congratulations 🎉 you have been selected randomly among my shortlisted giveaway winners kindly send a text on telegram with the name above to claim your prize🎊🎁
I have never heard of soft discipline until now. I started my medical residency last year and I have noticed a slow decline in my overall energy until I hit the lowest point of my burnout these past few months. Then after I realized my mistake of strict discipline my whole life. I started to correct it slowly exactly how you described it!
Thank you for speaking about this I hope more people are exposed to this type of lifestyle. Cheers.
Elisabeth, you are the best ❤️
I needed this video. Thank you for uploading it now 😉
We should prioritize self-love and trust ourselfs in our schedules, not overplanning. Amen!
thank you!
I've seen the videos that say: You're not lazy, your burnt out and wanted to see what it means. I surround myself with positive people. But sometimes they use negative means to an end, when they want change. Change can be gentle when you give yourself a break. It doesn't have to be a crisis.
I recently found about your channel and I love it! As an ADHDer, I struggle a lot with studying and your videos really motivate me a lot. I love how your content is clear and you are well spoken! If I would have to give feedback, it would be that you speak really fast :D When I adjust the speed its normal, but why all the rush! Best regards!
Thank you for this different perspective, it's nice to hear a different approach than the regular "work smarter, not harder" I needed this gentle and soft reminder and outlook.
Projeto Disciplina Branda
1 - Trabalhe com prazos e não com tarefas
2 - Seja um iniciante (Pense se esta se divertindo/brincando com algo ou se está muito na etapa de especialista tebte ocilar entre os dois) incentive a sua curiosidade por aquilo todos os dias
3 - Veja se não está se trabalhando/estudando demais e tente recompensa-lo pelo seu trabalho mas não de forma abusiva, E sim para não tornar seu Trabalho/Estudo etediante.
Soft discipline kinda blows my mind it's such a great way to plan the day
Loved all the little memes sprinkled throughout this video lol! Also the animation & aesthetics this time around really speak "Elizabeth"! ^^
ahhh thank you for noticing!
god, I'm also an impatient person and I struggle with things you mentioned and it's so hard for me to know when I should pay my tax and when not. You gave me really a perspective about it.
Exactly what I'm going through right now. Thanks for this Elizabeth.
i have developed a more or less similar method of discipline for myself. i know that i will complete it, as i consistently have. i know i will hold myself accountable when i don't. it allows for me to enjoy every moment as it passes, be more open to serendipity or whims of creativity, with significantly fewer stressors squeezing me for a bit of time or energy. i find that i enjoy my work more, even look forward to it. when it's time to work, i put my full effort in and receive more out. thanks for sharing this method with your large audience.
This has a lot of helpful tips, thank you Elizabeth. I think the way we picture productivity really has to change, cause it is not about putting so much effort to end up burning yourself out, but rather what you gain in the time you spend doing something
So helpful and relatable! The idea of adequate compensation is something im going to try keep in the back of my mind!
thank you Sophie!
She is my favorite productivity content creator, because this is how I succeed. Being more positive about what everything can bring me, by being more curious, I enjoy more every class or subject Wich makes me want to work a little more (even on class I don t like). And NO micro planning! I have some study time Wich are moment I am in a place where I can focus, BUT I don t know ahead what I would do on those, I choose what I am confortable doing at those time. And If I absolutely don t feel like doing anything I AM OFF. For it to work the first step still was to learn how to be more productive, because even if you work on a good mood and energy, if you don t know how to work well, you will lose time or quality of work. So finding how you learn, focus, how to be faster at what you do is a must.
I really enjoy your way of conducting and sharing your own discoveries with us. It brings me so much relief to have people who struggles with the same things I do, and find out such a logical/feasible “solution”. Thank you for sharing with us
Binge watch Elizabeth videos early Sunday morning around 4:00 am with headset on before my 7:00 am 5 mile wake make me save more time because Elizabeth speed broadcast . I am adding Elizabeth recent favorite books recommendations: 80,000 hours and 101 Essays that will chance the way you think to my must read books. Ps my favorite color is blue, you’re a painter and artist surprise your subs and your work colleagues by introducing a new color in your life so we can see the other Elizabeth that you always talk about. Have a safe and a productive week ( I know you will). Love ❤the Channel.
I like the point that you need to spend more time being a novice. I've always liked the Dreyfus model of skill acquisition. I use it a lot to train inexperienced managers.
Oh my god. I started doing these things BEFORE I watched this video and I had noticed they've improved my productivity immensely.
Ever since I stopped strict scheduling, my productivity improved two times at least.
Love this! Been supporting you since day one and you’ve grown so much! So deserved, keep it up queen
thank you!!!
I feel like a wasted potential all the time these days. Even though my academic results are pretty good my family members criticise me for being lazy and make me feel like I could've done better. They basically compare me with someone who is a type A person. For this I cannot focus on my studies these days and my exam is in few days. Thanks for this, your videos always help,
I love your content. Thank you so much for your view on self-discipline. I always was thought that I should just make myself do something I don’t want to but need to and this is a real discipline.
Thank you Agata!
Thank you, Elizabeth. Your videos provoke new ideas and perspectives. Also they remind be about being kind and caring for yourself. At the end of this video I thought to myself: "what even motivates most of us? Isn't it fear of being abandoned, being judged and hated?". It is so sad. I don't want to be driven by fear and neglect myself. I want to do things because they are good for me
I’m a med student and your channel has made me feel like I’m not the only one who uses this system of organized chaos. Thank you for helping me be kind to myself💜. Side note, would you be able to make a video on studying for long-term board exams/ anything that requires a more regimented approach? I’m studying for step 1 rn and I’m finding that there’s no choice but for me to be more disciplined and it’s been rough😅
i'm also chaotic and ali abdaal's technique of planning helped me a lot. he had a video about it, about no planning week per week but just studying and noting the date you studied a specific topic on an excel, and figuring it out from there (like if you studied something too long ago you study it again)
hard to explain in text haha
@@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 no that makes sense!! I love his videos too! I gotta find that one lmao
@@GuacASMR it's called the retrospective study calendar i think
"You can do a lot in your life time, if you don't burn out too fast." - Neil Peart RUSH.
Thank you love the post 😊😊😊🎉🎉🎉
Inspiring and lovely as ever. Excellent work! Thank you for teaching us
thank you!
I’m not sure how you can make a better video than this one. Focused, entertaining, and easy to understand. Well down.
Amazing video as always and the animations/illustrations are just phenomenal!
This is such a valuable piece of content. I didn't realise that my approach to work and achievement had a name; 'soft discipline'! I have been accused of being lazy in the past, but I look back on things and all I can ask is... why? I have achieved so much professionally and personally and I've done It without burning myself out. So validating to see this video!
Our daughter, who is about to enter graduate school heading towards a medical degree.
Physical therapy.
Is suffering from much of this.
When I hear about her work load on a daily basis my head starts spinning!
And she works as many hours as she can at a physical therapy office as a current assistant in her field!
😬😳☢️🤯
Your channel is the best thing that has happened to me over RUclips.
I love the way you approach your life Elizabeth. The tools and principles you’ve developed for yourself are brilliant and insightful and I think it’s helpful that you’ve framed your differences as strengths. I wish that I had thought like you as I went through my four degrees. I was always a good student but struggled with focus and finishing things on time. I went through cycles of white knuckling the discipline to finish and then burnout where I couldn’t meet my deadlines leading to low self esteem. At 50 years old I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I feel like my diagnosis explains my entire life. I’m curious to know if you have ever been screened for ADHD? Some of what you describe seems to match the symptoms such as impatience, impulsivity and the need to be inspired in order to focus. I’m not sure that I’m going to try meds for my ADHD but the diagnosis has been interesting as a piece of self knowledge and for better understanding how my mind works and how to work with it instead of fighting it constantly 💕
Honestly the meds are so worth it. Took me about 6 months to find the right dose and it’s not a perfect solution but HONESTLY it is amazing and you should try it!
She's talked in other videos about having ADHD
@@larissapienaar2436
Thanks for sharing your experience and the info that Elizabeth has talked about ADHD in other videos. Much appreciated. Currently researching meds but helpful to know they worked well for you. Thanks 💕
@@eel324 Good luck. The best thing about ADHD meds is that one can try them without consequence and stop immediately if they’re not working for you without any withdrawal or negative effects, so I hope you are able to leap in and get yourself help 😊
@@larissapienaar2436 thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot.
I fall in love with your lecture. Really it's great!
What you described in the beginning sounds *a LOT* like ADHD, ADD, or some other neurodivergent brain disorder.
I know because I have it. This channel and others like it have been a godsend for figuring my life out after high school
It's funny that you say neurodivergent brain disorder. Those things are usually opposed, no? (neurodivergence being kinda political, insisting on diffference, whereas brain disorder is more patologizing/insists on malfunction)
@@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 hm i see it as neurodivergence can be one of the ways the disorder manifests or affects the mind. for example, the ring of fire is notable in scans and often also in how an individual explains their thinking or behaves
@@wawis231 but doesn't disorder sound like there is something "wrong" with people to you?
This was so thoughtful, Elizabeth. I love how much you have observed your own nature and have found creative ways to work with yourself, and not against yourself. Even though I am familiar with a lot of the things you cover from other videos, your use of lived examples makes it uniquely your own. You have carefully selected your ideas to flow in a very mindful way, and your personal insights and presentation reflect your own personal growth, even though it sounds like you are still your own greatest work in progress. In general, I agree with most of what you said.
Here's the only thing we would likely disagree on: rest must also include periods of non-achievement with no external distractions. Outside of physiological sleep, there must be a daily opportunity where we consciously shut off our minds from the outside world and surrender all effort to do things. This pause will allow us to restore our body and minds and accomplish more in less time without burning out.
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I definitely burn out on the hedonistic phases, like gaming 12 hours or similar - kind of rely on it to get me out of the post-burnout catharsis and back to being productive, doesn't feel healthy though.
It would have been a whole heap easier if I had come to this self-kindness BEFORE I red lined everything and almost blew up. Still, here now. Many thanks for collating nicely what I finally discovered for myself.