WHY ARE NARCISSISTS MISERABLE?

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024

Комментарии • 130

  • @sototallyover2359
    @sototallyover2359 2 года назад +113

    I agree, they are like a blackhole that can't be filled. Never try to help them. It most likely won't be a positive experience for you.

  • @cynthiafortier2540
    @cynthiafortier2540 Год назад +59

    Tip for life: Stay away from miserable people!!

  • @manfocused
    @manfocused 2 года назад +79

    And because they don't know how to self-reflect, they aren't even aware of the fact that they ARE miserable. They will tell you that they are NOT.

  • @gabrielamartiniuc6322
    @gabrielamartiniuc6322 Год назад +48

    If they actually served others and made it about others for a second , maybe they would be joyful. Misery stems from severe selfishness and self centeredness.

    • @NaomiRWestGarvin
      @NaomiRWestGarvin 9 месяцев назад +5

      100%, Bible says theirs more happiness in giving than receiving .

  • @tamarasworld4442
    @tamarasworld4442 Год назад +53

    That’s why the worst position to be in with a narcissist is their primary supply. The person closest to them gets blamed for EVERYTHING!! Please pay attention to the red flags 🚩🚩🚩and run away as fast as you can.😬🏃🏽‍♀️

  • @zengreen7
    @zengreen7 Год назад +23

    When you are dealing with a person that FREQUENTLY makes you feel like you are in the TWILIGHT ZONE, they are most likely a narcissist. RUN!

  • @rmg2419
    @rmg2419 2 года назад +30

    Its so weird that they all think and behave the same.
    But then i guess its just all the negative emotions and behaviors they are showing.

  • @jenniferschiel5453
    @jenniferschiel5453 Год назад +37

    Yes! Everyone from the mail man to the grocery checkout clerk was an idiot in the narcs eyes. I've never met a more self absorbed, miserable, judgmental person in my entire life. You have great content. You are able to explain this disorder very effectively. Thank you!

  • @Cndnwoman
    @Cndnwoman 2 года назад +59

    Very very very miserable, its awful, and he stomps all over my joy.... Blessings 🇨🇦✌🇱🇷🌻🌻🌻🙏🙏🙏

  • @willowclay5406
    @willowclay5406 Год назад +12

    You have to stay No Contact and stay strong!

  • @willowclay5406
    @willowclay5406 Год назад +8

    They're dependent on their supplies for energy and survival!

  • @CedrickBagley
    @CedrickBagley Год назад +24

    My Ex drove like a maniac. Cutting off people, running signal lights, rapid/violent lane changes. And to add insult to injury, she said that I was a bad driver. I've been a Trucker for 20yrs. I'm literally a professional driver. Talk about gaslighting and projection.

    • @bansheesioux5569
      @bansheesioux5569 Год назад +2

      Lol

    • @spaceted3977
      @spaceted3977 2 месяца назад

      Cedrick. You need to understand a Woman's Logic........ 2 + 2 = POTATO !!!

  • @raysing8970
    @raysing8970 Год назад +8

    Thank you! You describe what narcs do so well! The blaming, lack of accountability and narcs are truly lack self esteem, fragile ego and are miserable (total false self)

  • @kevinprovenzano6678
    @kevinprovenzano6678 Год назад +23

    Great video… I think the best thing you said was. They are angry at you for not solving a problem they won’t admit they have. Totally they create problems to fix problems they won’t own up to. The snake eating its own tail.

  • @Ghettobank69
    @Ghettobank69 Год назад +6

    Self shame, a constant self deprecation inside. The constant reminder of the Narcissist facts.
    Lonely, shameful, losers, failures, a big fat 0. Nobody, nothing there.
    This keeps the Narcissist miserable.

  • @someonenew9442
    @someonenew9442 2 года назад +40

    Road rage, one of my most terrifying experiences ever was an over 100 miles spent tailgating lorries, cars, overtaking on blind bends, etc, with a husband turned lunatic behind the wheel, our two year old boy in the back seat. God alone got us home that day. The last day of a holiday often seemed to trigger these episodes. I can see from your expression you have experienced this too. May you or anyone else reading this never experience it again. 30 years married, I tried so hard to ‘understand’ (fix) him, endless, thankless, ruinous, hopeless, ageing, extremely stressful existence. I walked out before my health gave up.

    • @magicwompson6870
      @magicwompson6870 Год назад +2

      She love road raging she scared me so aggressive when driving and screaming at other drivers while on the phone everything is all about her it’s never her fault maybe it’s because you’re going at high speeds all the time

    • @gabrielleaumont3971
      @gabrielleaumont3971 Год назад +2

      Bravo!

    • @PeterShaw-ne1yq
      @PeterShaw-ne1yq Год назад

      True!
      Narcs can't self sooth when upset and look for reassurance and validation of their shaky, self-worth from folk largely indifferent who have their own life issues.
      Narcs react negatively to gratuitous offers of help with their lives, seeing such attempts as disrespectful criticism or put downs or attempts to be one upon them - nobody is superior to a narc !!!
      Always seeking help from others but rejecting it when offered ! They are in a perpetual bind that
      has dogged them most of their life.
      Think of a dog chasing its tail 🤔
      Even mental health professionals blanch at treating narcs disregulated ornery souls !!!! 🫤

    • @mikaboo43
      @mikaboo43 Год назад +3

      getting flashbacks about their roadrage

  • @zengreen7
    @zengreen7 Год назад +14

    The story of Count Dracula is actually about narcissism.

    • @vodkavuitton
      @vodkavuitton 4 месяца назад

      Dracula is not real & we don't give a damn about whatever sick fantasies narcissists run to for safety

  • @ridgecrestvarietyshow7324
    @ridgecrestvarietyshow7324 Год назад +8

    And they drag you into the endless cycle with them...they're brilliant at what they do! I've lowered my expectations majorly!! It's helped a lot to just lower my personal expectations. Take the focus off of him and back to myself. I think about the song by the late, great Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks...STOP DRAGGING MY HEART AROUND. The best line being, "It doesn't have to be the big get even, it doesn't have to be anything at all." So simple and true. It's just what we choose it to be. Nothing more, nothing less. We choose, our choice.

  • @jaialaiwarrior
    @jaialaiwarrior 2 месяца назад +1

    Without connections to other people (made possible through affective/emotional empathy) there is very little joy or sadness to experience.

  • @joshuaanzalone2060
    @joshuaanzalone2060 2 года назад +23

    I'm surrounded by them and they look like the walking dead

    • @christophersanders3252
      @christophersanders3252 Год назад

      If you're surrounded by them you are actually probably the narcissist- that's the point of this vid.

  • @willowclay5406
    @willowclay5406 Год назад +9

    They have no self regulation of their own emotions, empty,, demonic Jezabel spirits, codependent on supplies, and overall broken from childhood traumas!

  • @bradmcewen
    @bradmcewen 2 года назад +14

    Absolutely spot on. It's why no one is the bearer of contentment. And even if that was possible, that in itself would be a reason for boredom, no dopamine rush, no Mr Fun.
    Ofcourse if you were all Mr Fun 24/7 that would be an issue, besides being unrealistic. It's Catch 22 from the start. There must be a extra burst of mind dope that only a new shiny object can provide....well, maybe for a couple days. Driving ? It was a driving disorder. Texting. E mailing. Speeding. Running red lights after a performative stop. Realtors are the absolute worse. Then when you offer to drive to save you and others It's nothing but the biggest distraction you have ever had in a car. One night...she yelled stop the car and got out. I said wth ! She said let her drive ! My car ! I said no way with that performance. Thats why I say most are multimorbid...at any second. Bad memories for sure.

  • @ceecee1913
    @ceecee1913 Год назад +14

    My covert narc best friend would have no one in her life she would even fight with her own parents her sister hadn’t spoken to her for a decade she didn’t even have friends except me we were childhood friends..everyone around me said when she has nobody left to blame she will rage at you and they were right. I shut that down straight away and blocked her disgusting behaviour. She will still now have the same problems even though I am not in her life and neither is anyone else that cared for her…but I bet she still doesn’t take accountability for her actions

  • @willowclay5406
    @willowclay5406 Год назад +8

    I understood my ex better than he understood himself!

  • @charlescarpenter9000
    @charlescarpenter9000 Год назад +5

    You described it so perfectly. I'm amazed at how liberating it is to listen to this talk. Every detail about how the narcissist behaves. Thank you for this very enlightening talk.

  • @gregorynicholls9991
    @gregorynicholls9991 2 года назад +8

    Thanks again,please tell me if it's just me, being educated about the Narcissist kinda send me to a next level. Now every empath I meet looks like a lord standing head , shoulders ,ankles and bottom of feet over the Narcissist.

  • @ayeshabegg2628
    @ayeshabegg2628 Год назад +8

    It's amazing how generally parents are the main reason why adults have these personality disorders. The parents get away Scott free and the spouse suffers the result of the parents poor parenting.

  • @Golfpollenca
    @Golfpollenca 2 года назад +7

    Well explained ❤️

  • @jamessutton9874
    @jamessutton9874 Год назад +5

    I have a good example of the hole in the bucket, one day we were on vacation and as we were driving my spouse turned off onto a ramp which she was not suppose to turn off though, she told me that I told her to turn off, I told her to keep on the interstate but she swore I told her to turn off, when we got back onto the interstate she turned off the ramp again, she did this 3 times each time she could not comprehend that she was turning off the ramp, anyway the hole in the bucket reminded me off her turning onto the ramp.

  • @Cndnwoman
    @Cndnwoman 2 года назад +8

    Omgoodness I'm in it right this moment

    • @emmamonroe3311
      @emmamonroe3311 2 года назад +3

      Take your walking papers and leave. If they are always the victim they are covert vulnerable narcissist and they are the hardest to spot.

    • @Cndnwoman
      @Cndnwoman 2 года назад +1

      @@emmamonroe3311 yes I think that's what he is, if I could leave I would but finances stop me dead. Blessings dear be safe🌻🙏

    • @emmamonroe3311
      @emmamonroe3311 2 года назад +1

      @@Cndnwoman check out raw motivations, narc survivor, RUclips also Dr. Ramani Durvasula, surviving narcissism he’s a doctor also, narc con, narcdaily- you are not alone, and also Joe B. house so you understand better. Don’t ever ask them to get help just let them do it on their own and let them figure it out. Just know whom they are so you understand what’s really going on so you can learn.👍🏻

    • @Cndnwoman
      @Cndnwoman 2 года назад +2

      @@emmamonroe3311 thank you so much Emma, I will do that this evening when he passes out again, bless your kind heart, be well my friend, I'm not very good at conversations anymore😢🌻🌻🌻🙏

    • @emmamonroe3311
      @emmamonroe3311 2 года назад +1

      @@Cndnwoman I understand. Just subscribe to them so you can really dive into this disorder. It’s a mental illness. Take care of yourself.❤️

  • @tamarasworld4442
    @tamarasworld4442 Год назад +6

    My ex narc female acquaintance was very aware that her friendships wouldn’t last long…… She actually said to me “ Wow! That was fast”, when she knew that I was pulling away, and showing no problem doing so.😏

  • @TheThejaketucker
    @TheThejaketucker Год назад +2

    Dude you rule . I’m re listening to this

  • @alicerosa6766
    @alicerosa6766 Год назад +2

    Yeeees, you nail it!. Everything is a daily complaint...is like you said, when he is driving is always a complaint, when he see people around in the neighborhood do whatever, is a constant critic, in his sick mind there is always something wrong with people, when he visits his family is another complaint, when talking about politics and religions another complaint, when he goes to Dr.appointments or other appointments there is always negative to say, everything... oh my God, and most of all when he is with me is his biggest complaint. All his miserable life is a complaint. No more abuse I am out🏃‍♀️

  • @randallmccoy8581
    @randallmccoy8581 10 месяцев назад +2

    An empathetic response is a normal response.
    An unempathetic response is an abnormal response.
    A chronic covert intent to cause psychological harm ..(THE FALSE VALUE GAIN...attempting to gain value by de-valuing the other person)....that's a chronic covert narcissistic psychopath and that's cause for major concern.

  • @tamarasworld4442
    @tamarasworld4442 Год назад +6

    Excellent analytical description of this disorder. 😊

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 Год назад +2

    You are an appliance to them. Make my coffee and then sit on counter until I need you again

  • @ridgecrestvarietyshow7324
    @ridgecrestvarietyshow7324 Год назад +4

    Ms. Mirror. Thanx for giving all of us a great, safe, place to vent, heal and recover ourselves! Your content is invaluable! Please go forward with confidence and faith in the future..and know that you are loved and needed ❤️

  • @cosimavonliebenau8317
    @cosimavonliebenau8317 3 месяца назад +1

    Mine IS Mr vulnerable - the victim mentality is draining.

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 6 месяцев назад +1

    It takes me half a day to recover from a 5 minute phone call with a gloomy miserable narc.
    Queezy gut, shortness of breath, etc

  • @shaunajin8497
    @shaunajin8497 Год назад +6

    THANK YOU for explaining this so well!!! This is a most complex and twisted topic to unravel w so many crazy contradictions, indecipherable behaviors and crazy making illogic. U untied all those knots and laid it out so CLEARLY. So helpful!!! 😅👍

  • @susanauger3758
    @susanauger3758 Год назад +7

    I had a road raging guy stalk me. I stopped my car. He stopped beside me. I asked him wtf he wants. He said he wanted me to tell him why I was tailgaiting him. He was riding my butt for 2 days but whatever. I screamed You drive like a F ing Goof! What are you going to do? Punch me out?? He didnt know what to do so he sped away. I got most of his plate and went to the cops. Never saw him again lol. Just raging looking for Somewhere to dump it

  • @philu4621
    @philu4621 2 года назад +10

    I can say I do feel like I have run into quite a few narcissistic people who brought grief and mental anguish into my life...does that make me a narcissist if I've blamed people for years for damaged time? I know it's time to move forward but sometimes I'm so messed up I can't tell if I'm a victim of the abuse or a narc myself.

    • @ridgecrestvarietyshow7324
      @ridgecrestvarietyshow7324 Год назад +2

      The fact that you say "a few" makes me think that you're not a narc, or really experienced narc-ism. It only takes one true narc to know that you've been turned and twisted. Consider yourself lucky. And I say this respectfully. Good luck to you my friend.

    • @philu4621
      @philu4621 Год назад

      @@ridgecrestvarietyshow7324 believe me my father is a full blown malignant narc...I know about narcissism top to bottom...my mission now is to become better than what has scarred me.

  • @gloriavis
    @gloriavis Год назад +2

    Sometimes u r surrounded by toxic people

  • @karenmorris6503
    @karenmorris6503 Год назад +2

    So exhausting. They suck you dry.

  • @GhostRider-o4y
    @GhostRider-o4y Год назад +6

    Narcissists are nagging 4 year olds that play at their own rules, when somebody plays by their rules, that's not okay! as Narcissists say, not okay!

  • @omoomonode8482
    @omoomonode8482 2 года назад +4

    Very good video, loved it.

  • @deborahkilleen4841
    @deborahkilleen4841 Год назад +1

    Extremely well said!!! Thank you for being so clear about the way narcissists see the world, very interesting.

  • @brendacathrall5757
    @brendacathrall5757 Год назад +1

    I freaking love you. best video ever.

  • @leoallan2225
    @leoallan2225 Год назад +1

    They sound like a very bad version of obsessive compulsive when it comes to others.

  • @Joy-pj2tw
    @Joy-pj2tw Год назад +1

    All I know is that we know who are buddies are even if we feel overwhelmed.

  • @chxwv
    @chxwv Год назад +2

    Idea for a new video : please make a video of telephone behavior of these monsters , I was in a long distance relationship with one of these evil characters so I can share my experience with you too

  • @NeldaVermaak
    @NeldaVermaak 10 месяцев назад +1

    Years ago I was married to one.The rushing from this to that etc and nothing is right....I thought that his mother forgot to tell him he must decide whats ok for him.Not her anymore.Its a computer repeating.

  • @infantrycaptain9224
    @infantrycaptain9224 4 месяца назад

    Hi! Your channel is brilliant!❤

  • @alexkuieh1565
    @alexkuieh1565 Год назад +1

    This is a lucid and riveting presentation .

  • @danielskyles6184
    @danielskyles6184 2 года назад +7

    Good video

  • @jaialaiwarrior
    @jaialaiwarrior 2 месяца назад

    Because joy and sadness/pain are linked and most accessible through our connections with other people and how we feel about them - which narckies lack through their inability to engage BASIC empathy. It's part of what makes them so empty.

  • @bryanmitchell8297
    @bryanmitchell8297 Год назад +2

    Nailed it.

  • @marijastankovic3780
    @marijastankovic3780 Год назад +2

    My ex would never be able to sit still and relax or just do an activity for some time
    Like I would lay down with him on a meadow and after 5 min he would want to go somewhere else
    After some time I would get tired of him because we would have to move all the time and never ever relax and enjoy

  • @n0_3Xcuses
    @n0_3Xcuses Год назад +2

    Lol, they drive very entitled.

  • @Eyeshaveit
    @Eyeshaveit Год назад

    Great video

  • @jefftrotter8152
    @jefftrotter8152 Год назад +1

    This was great.

  • @ardent9422
    @ardent9422 Год назад +2

    It's interesting that you mentioned narcissists and driving, because I have an uncle who thinks that everyone driving on the road is a retard and he's the only one who knows how to drive. He's a struggling old man who lives in a trailer but some how thinks he's this great unsung, unrecognized genius. We drove through a neighborhood that was all lovely nice houses, almost like mansions, and he was saying "this is the ghetto, these are all crack houses, these people are strung out." and I just sat there thinking, doesn't he realize he lives in a trailer park...

    • @kigzman1745
      @kigzman1745 Год назад +1

      Lol 😅 😆....that's actually hilarious 😂.

  • @matthewrodgers740
    @matthewrodgers740 Год назад +5

    They’re miserable because they do it to themselves. They made their bed now they’re gonna lie in it. It’s not your job to fix them only they can fix themselves and the best hope for a narcissist is no hope at all.

  • @amymartin6123
    @amymartin6123 Год назад

    Great video! Well articulated.

  • @michaeljohns8817
    @michaeljohns8817 11 месяцев назад +5

    IF someone is in a relationship with a narcissist , then it's highly possible that person has very very low self esteem !!!!!!!

  • @fuzbugg
    @fuzbugg Год назад +1

    damn this is so good thank you

  • @naenaehuggins1726
    @naenaehuggins1726 10 месяцев назад

    Ur spot on sweetheart! All of it!❤

  • @kevinalmiron8693
    @kevinalmiron8693 Год назад

    You described my brother perfectly

  • @NarrelleChain
    @NarrelleChain Год назад +1

    Man, i used 😂to believe them when they told me how happy they were, how dumb is that, now i see everything they say is a lie, this is truly crazy, they believe their own lies! If you go around using everyone around you, how could you be hpy?

  • @kiberadini8679
    @kiberadini8679 4 месяца назад

    Amazing

  • @gloriavis
    @gloriavis Год назад +2

    Thats because narcissists stole there identity.

  • @Mivka_
    @Mivka_ Год назад +3

    It’s their God complex.

  • @amothergoddess2774
    @amothergoddess2774 Год назад +2

    I DON'T THINK THEY EXPECT YOU TO FIGURE OUT THEIR PROBLEMS, AND I DON'T THINK THEY ARE IN PANIC MODE, MY NPD SISTERS ARE CALM BUT ANGRY SOMETIMES! WHEN I WAS SUFFERING SEVERE DEPRESSION THEY SAID TO ME 'OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND WE HAVE TO BE GRATEFUL, THEY SEEMED TO BE ENJOYING THEIR LIFE, THEY GO ON FREQUENT HOLIDAYS, HAVE CONSISTENT RELATIONSHIPS, BUT I DID SEE WHEN I GOT WELL THAT FOR INSTANCE THE ONE I SAW MORE OFTEN NEVER LAUGHED OR SMILED SHE WAS TOO BUSY BEING NASTY TO ME, EVERYTHING WAS A COMPETITION ETC, THAT WAS JUST BEFORE I CUT HER OFF! THE OTHER ONE NEVER SEEMS TO HAVE ENUF ALTHO SHE IS VERY WEALTHY, SHE IS MEAN AND PENNYPINCHER! THEY BOTH ARE ACTUALLY, ONE LESS THAN THE OTHER!

    • @gloriavis
      @gloriavis Год назад

      It can be your family I'm proof

    • @gloriavis
      @gloriavis Год назад

      Ever here of toxic families

  • @marilynross1242
    @marilynross1242 11 месяцев назад +1

    Complain about traffic all the time. They drive terrible 😂

  • @TheSnedmeister
    @TheSnedmeister 3 месяца назад

    What happens the flying monkeys that they turned against you or the people they got to abuse you? It's just something that interested me because of all the people they try to turn against you. A video on this would be great ❤

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  3 месяца назад

      Thank you for the suggestion

    • @TheSnedmeister
      @TheSnedmeister 2 месяца назад

      ​@LookingBehindtheMirror have you got a video coming soon about this topic? it's still very hard to process all the flying monkeys

  • @galacticambitions1277
    @galacticambitions1277 10 месяцев назад +1

    If you live in France, everyone is a terrible driver.

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  10 месяцев назад +1

      😂 I will have to take your word on that. They really are pretty bad where I’m from as well.

    • @galacticambitions1277
      @galacticambitions1277 10 месяцев назад

      I had an American friend visit and he was shocked how vehicles don't even stop for pedestrians at pedestrian crossings. The French take ill-mannered driving to the next level. You cannot compete lol. It was just funny listening to you talking about narcissists driving around thinking they are the best driver on the roads. If you take even a minimal amount of care here, it's likely to be true if you drive around thinking that about yourself!

  • @johnweyron1386
    @johnweyron1386 2 года назад +3

    Ffs lol u are magic joke! 4:00 about bucket… funny as f… 😂😂😂

  • @zengreen7
    @zengreen7 Год назад +1

    Learn to spot them early.

  • @StRyanRain
    @StRyanRain Год назад

    Being a victim makes you miserable too don’t victim blame

  • @letstalkcrypto532
    @letstalkcrypto532 Год назад +1

    So well explained girl….really really really good mate.

  • @GhostRider-o4y
    @GhostRider-o4y Год назад +1

    Narcissists are nagging 4 year olds that play at their own rules, when somebody plays by their rules, that's not okay! as Narcissists say, not okay!