What I think every person with BPD wants to know is how to find excellent love partners like yours. Most people with BPD I know don't have partners interested in working together on this journey of recovery. I congratulate your partners. They are great. And you are, too, by making these videos and helping people with BPD all over the planet. Thanks-a-Bunch!
I want nothing more than to work things out with my BPD ex girlfriend! 4 years, 6 breakups and two full discards. Got back together after a year and she broke my heart again one month after asking me to marry her 😞 I’m trying my best to be the partner she needs but it seems to not be working
@@thebpdbunchyes please do a video about awareness of needs, dealbreakers, vulnerability factors and how to know if ready for relationship and how to get ready for one and then when ready, how to find a partner that you can most safely match with because of all of those factors so they don’t waste time/heartache on so many people that aren’t right for them. I would appreciate a discussion on being able to recognize and accept that compatibility is important and how to figure that stuff out quickly before getting attached. Can you also do a video on disclosure of mental illness and special needs in dating/relationships and friendships…even family and jobs. How much disclosure is appropriate, when and how to share the news. Also, some easy early relationship activities/discussions that helps set the relationship up for success like openly sharing weak spots and triggers and how to and not to respond for the most successful recovery through those bumps and if there are plans that can be put in place ahead of time and agreed to together. What to do when having an episode and how to handle it and having the bpd partner agree to a plan ahead of time and each time have them work harder and harder at sticking to that plan…it helps protect the non bpd partner/relieve fear and pressure and reduces potential for abuse and if the person with bpd has agreed ahead of time it’s easier for them to take accountability afterward and help tweak the plan as needed until it works for both. Can you also do a video on abuse and bpd in terms of how the bpd person could use abusive tactics and manipulation and how intentional vs subconscious and innocent that might be for those non bpd partners that get the brunt of it trying to decide if their partner is someone that can get help, learn and change or if they’re just being an asshole and need to get help and not be in relationship because they don’t try or care to control abusive behaviors. I’d love to hear from some partners with bpd stories about how they ended up using abusive tactics, particularly manipulation, guilt tripping and having some patterns that get attention, draw someone back and and how they trick people to break their own boundaries etc…the non bpd partners really need to hear how this stuff works in the mind of the person with bpd and come to terms with their experience of it in their own partnership and how to think/feel about it or better understand it and also what questions, actions and precautions or boundaries a non bpd person can ask/do that helps protect them while the bpd partner is still unaware or still working on changing. I’d love to hear from the bpd partner how they figured out they were behaving abusively, how they felt and processed that, how they got help (what kin) and how they healed and what that healing looks like in terms of length of time and committment. It’s hard for the non bpd partner to decide to stay and work with them if they have no idea how long the behaviors will be around before actual change starts to happen….even if you want to commit and stay, the reality is, everyone has a burnout point or a limited emotional capacity and it would be so helpful for both partners to be educated on how to have these discussions and awareness of limits and making a plan and not dragging on a relationship that, with the right kind of discussion and forethought, could be ended early before they’re too attached and everyone gets their heart crushed. Thanks for your work and vulnerability! These videos are so helpful.
I have forwarded this to my husband. He is amazing and supportive but he has found it hard living with me. I go into myself a lot and he finds that lonely. He often says he doesn't get it. When he says he loves me, I always ask "are you sure? Promise me". I also have issues when he stays away because I'm scared he wants to leave me and won't come back. If he didn't call me when he was away I would have a melt down. We are learning to communicate better and wr have been together 13 years, but this is down to him because I would have run away a million times over if he had not been so stubburn 😂. This is a great video because there are so many out there warning men to stay away from women with BPD. Thank you all for being so honest. ❤
Oh my God!! I sent this to the woman I love right away. Thank you for sharing this! I absolutely adore her and am so full of hope that we can make it work! I literally don't want any other woman.
Hiiii can we have a follow up video for queer couples and potentially another video where people discuss experiences with couples in couples/marriage counseling! I appreciate how incredibly valuable and expansive your topics are. You’ve carried me through this year and enabled me to address things with my therapist through my DBT journey. One day when I’m more recovered I’d love to contribute to your community. For now, I just share your content with my provider and diagnosed friends.
ruclips.net/video/iyXmUtbd4pc/видео.htmlsi=hyCx3h36DbmjD59Y There’s a more recent video, featuring a queer couple. We haven’t don’t anything with a couple currently in counseling because we usually focus on those who are already in recovery, but that’s a good topic to consider for the future! Thank you for the recommendation ❤️
The 2 things that a pwBPD needs from a partner are 1. That they won't throw us away or abandon when and if we get pulled into chaos, or have instances of drama, outburst, self destruction, etc. And 2. That if and when we do get pulled toward that edge, they will firmly help ground us and pull us back from it with hard boundaries where they are firmly realistic with us, letting us know they're not going to reject us or throw us away, but we have to understand what's acceptable and not acceptable. They hold us accountable and direct us to the appropriate behavior if we slip. These are the things we didn't get sometime in our critical development period in childhood, so we kinda formed the bpd patterns because we couldn't continue developing normally until we found that trustworthy safe relationship that we could count on, where we didn't have to fear being abandoned and we could trust to be guided and lead in the right direction until we learned to stay on track ourselves. Most people don't want that responsibility and are not willing to stick through any chaos or drama.
Rather than being simply relatable it would be nice if these group meetings could be discussed in more detail in regards to the steps/strategies for both the pwBPD and their partner. So it can be a bit of a relationship therapy video.
@@thebpdbunch I do have a question regarding walking on eggshell/assuming my BPD girlfriend can't take criticism. Are all communications with her going to be subject to uncertainty of how she will take it (hurt, feeling rejected)? Is the correct approach to attempt to communicate but with positive reassurance that it doesn't mean I think less of her? Additionally, it feels very imbalanced that she tells me my faults/what I can do to benefit the relationship but never looks at what she can improve on (she tells me often she's broken/a lot to deal with/thinks she's not enough for anyone or any good, but when it comes down to it doesn't work to improve herself and loves to point fingers at me). Ultimately it feels that I'm not allowed to voice my suggestions/feelings/emotions that could be seen negatively. What am I not getting?
@@thebpdbunch More information that may be pertinent. She has been diagnosed with bpd at least 5 years ago, sees a psychiatrist but does not go to therapy nor has ever.
This was quite helpful. I want to be with my wife and want things to work out like it did for all of you. It breaks my heart to know that it may not. The accusations, the lack of trust, the outbursts of anger and sadness. The constant push-pull that leaves me feeling like I have to walk on eggshells and that it could be over at any instant. How do I deal with it? How do I make things better? I’m trying to be there for her but no matter how kind I try to be I’m pushed away with anger and crazy accusations. I just want her to be happy 😢. I really don’t want to be with anyone else…. BPD is really difficult to deal with sometimes….
but this women are not only aware they got BPD , they also can reflect over it. None of my BPD women I have encountered would even admit or understand anything was wrong with them
I would love to know how each couple met! Personally, it feels like the context of meeting someone somewhat sets the tone of the whole relationship. And online dating these days feels like a minefield.
That hasn’t been an option for us as none of our male cast members (or guests who have applied) are married, but as soon as that changes it’s on the agenda! It’s hard to find men who are officially diagnosed AND willing to talk about their experiences.
@@thebpdbunchits because it doesn’t exist. Men are expected to walk tall or they are considered weak and women run. Look at the statistics you just said. A man acts needy and throw’s tempertantrums and he looks left and right and usually everyone is gone.
@@thebpdbunchthese men ate enablers. Based on statistics with therapy and real effort, bpd can go away in an incredibly short amount of time. Its proven. These are women that have found men that are ok with being someones parent constantly. How they can be attracted sexually to someone with child like maturity at times is mind boggling
What I think every person with BPD wants to know is how to find excellent love partners like yours.
Most people with BPD I know don't have partners interested in working together on this journey of recovery.
I congratulate your partners. They are great.
And you are, too, by making these videos and helping people with BPD all over the planet.
Thanks-a-Bunch!
You’ve just given us a great topic for season 3!!! Thank you!!! 🙏
I want nothing more than to work things out with my BPD ex girlfriend!
4 years, 6 breakups and two full discards. Got back together after a year and she broke my heart again one month after asking me to marry her 😞
I’m trying my best to be the partner she needs but it seems to not be working
@@thebpdbunchyes please do a video about awareness of needs, dealbreakers, vulnerability factors and how to know if ready for relationship and how to get ready for one and then when ready, how to find a partner that you can most safely match with because of all of those factors so they don’t waste time/heartache on so many people that aren’t right for them. I would appreciate a discussion on being able to recognize and accept that compatibility is important and how to figure that stuff out quickly before getting attached. Can you also do a video on disclosure of mental illness and special needs in dating/relationships and friendships…even family and jobs. How much disclosure is appropriate, when and how to share the news. Also, some easy early relationship activities/discussions that helps set the relationship up for success like openly sharing weak spots and triggers and how to and not to respond for the most successful recovery through those bumps and if there are plans that can be put in place ahead of time and agreed to together. What to do when having an episode and how to handle it and having the bpd partner agree to a plan ahead of time and each time have them work harder and harder at sticking to that plan…it helps protect the non bpd partner/relieve fear and pressure and reduces potential for abuse and if the person with bpd has agreed ahead of time it’s easier for them to take accountability afterward and help tweak the plan as needed until it works for both. Can you also do a video on abuse and bpd in terms of how the bpd person could use abusive tactics and manipulation and how intentional vs subconscious and innocent that might be for those non bpd partners that get the brunt of it trying to decide if their partner is someone that can get help, learn and change or if they’re just being an asshole and need to get help and not be in relationship because they don’t try or care to control abusive behaviors. I’d love to hear from some partners with bpd stories about how they ended up using abusive tactics, particularly manipulation, guilt tripping and having some patterns that get attention, draw someone back and and how they trick people to break their own boundaries etc…the non bpd partners really need to hear how this stuff works in the mind of the person with bpd and come to terms with their experience of it in their own partnership and how to think/feel about it or better understand it and also what questions, actions and precautions or boundaries a non bpd person can ask/do that helps protect them while the bpd partner is still unaware or still working on changing. I’d love to hear from the bpd partner how they figured out they were behaving abusively, how they felt and processed that, how they got help (what kin) and how they healed and what that healing looks like in terms of length of time and committment. It’s hard for the non bpd partner to decide to stay and work with them if they have no idea how long the behaviors will be around before actual change starts to happen….even if you want to commit and stay, the reality is, everyone has a burnout point or a limited emotional capacity and it would be so helpful for both partners to be educated on how to have these discussions and awareness of limits and making a plan and not dragging on a relationship that, with the right kind of discussion and forethought, could be ended early before they’re too attached and everyone gets their heart crushed. Thanks for your work and vulnerability! These videos are so helpful.
Or you could end up like me who's husband left due to BPD and went straight into the arms of another person with BPD!
also so relatable to even those without bpd- especially the "my partner has to say they love me because they're my partner" that really hit home
Yeah, even though we are speaking from a BPD perspective, these kinds of things could be relevant to any relationship! We’re all human ❤
I have forwarded this to my husband. He is amazing and supportive but he has found it hard living with me.
I go into myself a lot and he finds that lonely. He often says he doesn't get it. When he says he loves me, I always ask "are you sure? Promise me".
I also have issues when he stays away because I'm scared he wants to leave me and won't come back. If he didn't call me when he was away I would have a melt down.
We are learning to communicate better and wr have been together 13 years, but this is down to him because I would have run away a million times over if he had not been so stubburn 😂.
This is a great video because there are so many out there warning men to stay away from women with BPD. Thank you all for being so honest. ❤
love this!! thank you for sharing
You are so welcome! Thank you for watching!
Oh my God!! I sent this to the woman I love right away. Thank you for sharing this! I absolutely adore her and am so full of hope that we can make it work! I literally don't want any other woman.
Amazing stuff
Keep it up
You all have no idea how much I needed this. 😢 This validates everything I've been feeling. Thank you.
I really love this channel. Thank you for continuing to make content.
It’s our pleasure!! Thank you so much for watching ❤️
It's nice to see couples work together as a team. This video is great even it you don't have BPD
This is gold, thank you 💛✨
You're so welcome!
Hiiii can we have a follow up video for queer couples and potentially another video where people discuss experiences with couples in couples/marriage counseling! I appreciate how incredibly valuable and expansive your topics are. You’ve carried me through this year and enabled me to address things with my therapist through my DBT journey. One day when I’m more recovered I’d love to contribute to your community. For now, I just share your content with my provider and diagnosed friends.
ruclips.net/video/iyXmUtbd4pc/видео.htmlsi=hyCx3h36DbmjD59Y
There’s a more recent video, featuring a queer couple. We haven’t don’t anything with a couple currently in counseling because we usually focus on those who are already in recovery, but that’s a good topic to consider for the future! Thank you for the recommendation ❤️
The 2 things that a pwBPD needs from a partner are 1. That they won't throw us away or abandon when and if we get pulled into chaos, or have instances of drama, outburst, self destruction, etc. And 2. That if and when we do get pulled toward that edge, they will firmly help ground us and pull us back from it with hard boundaries where they are firmly realistic with us, letting us know they're not going to reject us or throw us away, but we have to understand what's acceptable and not acceptable. They hold us accountable and direct us to the appropriate behavior if we slip. These are the things we didn't get sometime in our critical development period in childhood, so we kinda formed the bpd patterns because we couldn't continue developing normally until we found that trustworthy safe relationship that we could count on, where we didn't have to fear being abandoned and we could trust to be guided and lead in the right direction until we learned to stay on track ourselves. Most people don't want that responsibility and are not willing to stick through any chaos or drama.
Appreciate this whole video so much
Rather than being simply relatable it would be nice if these group meetings could be discussed in more detail in regards to the steps/strategies for both the pwBPD and their partner. So it can be a bit of a relationship therapy video.
If you ask us specific questions we are happy to answer them!
@@thebpdbunch I do have a question regarding walking on eggshell/assuming my BPD girlfriend can't take criticism. Are all communications with her going to be subject to uncertainty of how she will take it (hurt, feeling rejected)? Is the correct approach to attempt to communicate but with positive reassurance that it doesn't mean I think less of her? Additionally, it feels very imbalanced that she tells me my faults/what I can do to benefit the relationship but never looks at what she can improve on (she tells me often she's broken/a lot to deal with/thinks she's not enough for anyone or any good, but when it comes down to it doesn't work to improve herself and loves to point fingers at me). Ultimately it feels that I'm not allowed to voice my suggestions/feelings/emotions that could be seen negatively. What am I not getting?
@@thebpdbunch More information that may be pertinent. She has been diagnosed with bpd at least 5 years ago, sees a psychiatrist but does not go to therapy nor has ever.
Hell yes. People with BPD are awesome
This video is awesome and gave me hope that I will find love one day when I am healthier.
During ‘splitting’ do your partners ever say they don’t love you?
If so does the BPD mean it?
This was quite helpful. I want to be with my wife and want things to work out like it did for all of you. It breaks my heart to know that it may not. The accusations, the lack of trust, the outbursts of anger and sadness. The constant push-pull that leaves me feeling like I have to walk on eggshells and that it could be over at any instant. How do I deal with it? How do I make things better? I’m trying to be there for her but no matter how kind I try to be I’m pushed away with anger and crazy accusations. I just want her to be happy 😢. I really don’t want to be with anyone else…. BPD is really difficult to deal with sometimes….
This is so cute!
but this women are not only aware they got BPD , they also can reflect over it. None of my BPD women I have encountered would even admit or understand anything was wrong with them
I would love to know how each couple met!
Personally, it feels like the context of meeting someone somewhat sets the tone of the whole relationship. And online dating these days feels like a minefield.
ruclips.net/video/jWrjhbzC9dE/видео.htmlsi=NpmGj5TeQ3mM2CTI
I would love to see an episode where there are men who have bpd and wives that support them. Ill wait….
That hasn’t been an option for us as none of our male cast members (or guests who have applied) are married, but as soon as that changes it’s on the agenda! It’s hard to find men who are officially diagnosed AND willing to talk about their experiences.
@@thebpdbunchits because it doesn’t exist. Men are expected to walk tall or they are considered weak and women run. Look at the statistics you just said. A man acts needy and throw’s tempertantrums and he looks left and right and usually everyone is gone.
@@thebpdbunchthese men ate enablers. Based on statistics with therapy and real effort, bpd can go away in an incredibly short amount of time. Its proven. These are women that have found men that are ok with being someones parent constantly. How they can be attracted sexually to someone with child like maturity at times is mind boggling
It's awesome ti know that when the shoe is on the other foot women dont stay like men do
you have no ears