EP 149: Walking My ROGD Daughter Through Desistance with January Littlejohn
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2024
- Join January Littlejohn in this powerful episode as she shares the impact of her daughter's school facilitating social transition without parental consent. Uncover the challenges, strategies, and emotional turmoil of navigating desistance while fighting against a prevailing ideology. Learn about repairing parent-child relationships, setting boundaries, and embracing a radical reset. January's story sheds light on the urgent need for awareness and critical thinking in the face of a misguided ideological wave affecting families.
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If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting include:
Episode 77 - Desistance Pt 1 - Accepting Reality: Now vs Then
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Episode 80 - Desistance Part II - Advice for Parents
• EPISODE 80 - Desistanc...
Episode 85 - Mother-Daughter Story: "I Didn’t Want to be Yours Anymore" w/ Dr. Maggie Goldsmith
• EPISODE 85 - Mother-D...
Episode 110 - Pathologizing Normal: The Lure of Identity Labels & Diagnoses
• EPISODE 110: Pathologi...
Episode 136 - Gender as a Communication, It's Not What You Think with Maggie Goldsmith
• EP 136: Gender as a Co...
Playlist: Gender and Schools
• Gender and Schools
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Great episode perfect timing for me. 🎉7 yrs it has been that my family has been in hell. Absolute hell. My story is extremely similar - or at least my approach as a parent was extremely similar, - I held my ground and insisted no medical until brain is developed - and or till you are on your on supporting yourself(very important) this is key for older kids .
well 7 yrs of her life lost - but i thank God every minute of every day- that she is back. A difference that should be noted is the age in which these kids start coming out with this….. when they are younger I do believe it’s a bit better and comes full circle quicker. Because as a parent you have more control legally. once they hit 18 your hands get ‘somewhat’ tied.Harder to keep them with you🤷🏻♀️… the older this comes out the longer it seems for them to come full circle. Cause they distance even more and then more of a wedge between you develops.. and makes it more difficult for the relationship to heal. And if they connect with someone who helps them financially, with $$$ ect. ) then it’s even MORE difficult 😢- if my daughter found hat it may have been different..but If the schools supported families that do not want to socially transition it would prevent many from getting to that point. - Schools need to get on board - the lawsuits need to happen! Thank you January for doing that! -
we went to an education lawyer when we were fighting the school socially transitioning our kid and he said no way, said im sorry this is happening to you but my practice would be over….now if you wanted her to be in the boys locker room, I would take that case.😮yup. We had no where to turn. (Drs,lawyers,therapists,parents,teachers, the list of deceit is never ending after 7 years)😢I thank God every day - This is new and we are taking it one day at a time . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤Our stories need to be heard far and wide. Thankful to January and both of you Sasha and Stella you are a light for so many-the ONLY light for so many.😢 ❤ Keep at it and thank you.xo
Thank you...I can't express my thanks for everything this podcast has done for my mental health and the guidance you have given. Please forgive any spelling errors, as I am typing thru tears. But I also have a daughter who is textbook ROGD and has been in this trans world 3 years come this April. I applaud January's bravery in not just helping her daughter, but taking the additional steps in her work now. I have seen a softening of my daughter's feelings of "being trans" so I would've loved to hear more from January on the desistance of her daughter. We sadly are quite bad off financially and can't join any additional monthly fees. I wish we could, heck I would love to be able to do one of your parent weekends or a meeting with Sasha, but food/housing/water comes first. But please know, that you guidance and even just sharing the fact that I am NOT alone....it has kept me living with a bit of hope that this will someday end and I will get my daughter back. Thank and please keep up the good work!!
@@tonyadieker5314you have nothing better to do than to come comment on other peoples comments??? Get a life
@@angelesangeles7515
He's also reporting everyone's comments
@@mr.mclibtard5015 Ah. Perhaps that explains why my comment and his response to it both disappeared, at least from my view.
You can sign up for a 7 day free trial.
2018, 2019… How about 2014 - the year of my daughter’s own announcement? It was a very confusing, surreal and isolating time. So glad there’s much more out there supporting today’s parents including this podcast.
January, so honored to have you here in Florida. You’re a force to be reckoned with and have contributed so much to the conversation on gender. 😘
How did your daughter’s situation turn out, if you don’t mind sharing.
As the mother of a child who got sucked into this gender cult, I thank January for everything she is doing to fight this monster. She’s someone I admire and I hope I can one day fight along her side. For now I have to wait in order to keep the relationship I have with my child.
This is such a similar story to my daughter, this is a great interview, I watched January on Benjamin Boyce too, such a strong mother 💪🏻 I find the secret keeping to ‘protect’ the children from their non-supportive parents so much like what an abuser would say to the child they’re abusing…..it’s just sinister. We stood our ground too and our daughter came out of it herself but clearly needed a ‘way out’, if she’d been affirmed by everyone around her, god knows where she’d be now xH
Stella, my goodness. You are a beautiful human. Thank you for your efforts. ❤
"affirm the pain but never the identity" 100% agree with this. I have a ROGD daughter too. I also affirm feelings but often challenge beliefs.
"Once you read this your mind is going to be blown"
This is how I feel about things all the time connected to trans ideology.
I can't get them to read it though.
If it was a struggle for an educated, confident, well spoken middle class woman, imagine the struggle of parents from working class backgrounds, not well educated, not articulate at all, or immigrant parents who don't even speak English that well. Thank you, January, for your advocacy, and for basically standing up for those parents who can't stand up for themselves or their children
To be fair, the explosion of transboy teens isn't occurring as widely among non-White groups as it is among Whites, especially those with a lot of money. I would say the wealthier a family is, the more likely it is to have a natal girl who identifies as trans.
@@John-tr5hn Children are being taught that if they don't have a marginalised identity, they must be an oppressor. So white affluent children are the most susceptible to the ideology. On the other hand, lesbians can exist in any community, and will be targets for this ideology, but won't all be able to live openly. And of course you need money for transition, which is why the argument is often over government or insurance funding.
My specialty as a therapist has always been helping girls to develop a positive relationship with their bodies. They hate their bodies, almost universally. They are dissociated. Let's deal with the cause of this. I deal with in my book, Healthy Transitions for Girls, by Peggy McFarland, MS. We need a return to the values that help girls respect and value their bodies.
Engaging episode! Powerful insights on navigating gender identity challenges. Parents need awareness & support in these complex situations.
ROGD mom since 2020…toughest challenge in my life.
Same 😭😭😭 In solidarity… ❤
Great show and excellent guest!
I WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU BOTH. I LIVE THIS NOW. I am a behavioral therapist at a very "progressive" public school in PHS. I literally walk the walk as a teenager since I am working on "social" skills ALONGSIDE my client. Thus I see and observe things through MY eyes, than translate what her POV is to then work intensely on specific behaviors. So I observe EVERY KID, TEACHER, and a tad with the PARENTS. Who have given me the scoop on the DECEIVING CA education system. AND where I have EYE WITNESSED the kids who are Janice's daughter. I see them everyday in advisory school. They SPEAK out loud sometimes. Again I'm just OBSERVING!! But where I STRUGGLE is the THEY/THEM SUBSTITUTES (what a tale I WANT to tell YOU) I encounter and interact with EVERYDAY and how it's EFFECTING the kids and school system. I would LOVE to share my situation and truly getting your take on it and later a much deep conservation on how to use my knowledge for GOOD not DECEIT and GREED. Thank you Sascha and Stella!! A huge fan who takes your content seriously. Where can I really communicate with you? Email? This is very important!!
Please send an email to hello@widerlenspod.com. Thank you!
Wow! What an amazing interview, thank you! ❤
This is an excellent interview and she gives fantastic advice.
I worry about these parents who say things like: "hard as it was, we let her cut her hair off. Her hair is now halfway down her back..." Firstly, it sounds like they somehow felt they were previously in charge of what she did with her hair. It's her hair. It seems very odd to police a teenager's hair like that. Also, why mention that her daughter's hair is now long? As if that was some sort of success? Women need to embrace their daughter's lack of interest in feminity. Femininity doesn't matter. Hair length doesn't matter. Connection matters, letting them become autonomous matters.
I also think (as with anorexics) there is an element that way too much academic and social pressure is put on these very sensitive, clever girls.
It's tricky, because the stereotypes have to be rejected, but they can also serve as a rough barometer of where someone is and how they're feeling. If a previously confused girl starts wearing skirts again, we COULD debate whether skirts have any objective link to femaleness, or we could just rejoice that she's comfortable in her body again and celebrate that she's not medicalizing. I know which option I would take if I was a parent.
I agree completely with the hair concept. When I was about 13 I cut my hair short and stopped wanting to wear a girly bathing suit. Not because of anything to do with gender identity. But I was grappling with puberty and suddenly realizing how men and boys look at women as an object. So much of femininity is about looking nice for someone else, long hair is impractical and bathing suits are embarrassing and revealing, and it makes sense that a clever sensitive girl will reject those things. I hope her daughter and these girls can find their womanhood without the trappings of femininity because womanhood is natural and femininity is constructed, and these mothers need to realize that they can drop the trans label without dropping the nonconforminity, we need girls who are different.
Hair length absolutely matters to heterosexual girls who are interested in attracting heterosexual boys. Long hair is the number one trait that is found attractive by men in most cultures. Now, if you're lesbian or otherwise not interested in male attention, then that's fine, but you won't find too many 15-year-old boys who are attracted t girls with buzzcuts or hair like their mom's.
@@John-tr5hn "...long hair is the number one trait that is found attractive by men in most cultures..." All the more reason to let her cut her hair short, she can concentrate on her exams.
@@John-tr5hnBut what most heterosexual teenage boys don't understand about many heterosexual teenage girls, is how daunting it can be to hit puberty and suddenly start getting such completely different sort of attention from guys.
I was a tomboy, and if I'd been born in 2000 (or later) I almost certainly would've been misdiagnosed as a trans boy; because puberty can hit tomboys like an eighteen-wheeler.
It's weird and scary, and suddenly even sports aren't easy anymore, because there's no bra that can really change our chest back to the convenience of flatness like a binder can; and the same convenient and boring old pigtail braids we've always worn suddenly become "sexy" to heterosexual guys.
It can be really creepy; so a lot of tomboys think, "Oh! I guess I AM a boy." -- especially when that's being pushed by schools and even doctors now.
I've been on this horribel journey with my teen for the past few years and at this stage it's her waiting to turn 18 as then we have no say anymore and she can walk into any medical centre to get testosterone. She turns 18 in march this year and I am terrified how I can hold her off on doing the biggest mistake of her life. I have been saying the same thing to wait till her brain to fully develop etc. but with struggling with bad mental health I just do not know what would be best. Where on earth could we go to be safe from all this targeting and agenda....it's everywhere!
Law either restricts or enables. It seems to me that this ideology is unconstrained and expanding across, at least, the western world untrammelled. That school staff are to collude with minors to keep parents in the dark about a mental health problem as serious as, purported or real, gender dysphoria is nothing short of outrageous. Shame on any teacher who accedes to this deceit. And I will add that any teacher pleading "I was only following instructions/policy" is disingenuous 'The Nuremburg defence' does not hold water.
I think people should start seeing this as a symptom of csa and act from that assumption, rather than fussing about the transition. Its too obvious it is happening in teen and pre-teen girls, thats ur red flag right there.
Kids need more nature. Rural kids don’t seem to have these problems.
I'm a long term fan of the show but putting "how to manage desistance" behind a paywall looks a bit mercenary, bearing mind that a good chunk of your audience are parents/families in extreme distress over rogd.
Thanks for your note. Everyone who works on this podcast, including our producers, has a deep personal connection to this issue. For that reason, this podcast is largely a labor of love. However there are many expenses and countless hours that go into making it happen each week. Our team, needs to pay their bills, put food on the table, and care for their families, as well. We will continue to have 90% of our content available for free, but it became a matter of trying to bring in some income to keep it going, or shut it down altogether. We chose the former.
@@widerlenspodThank you,
Sasha, Stella and team,
for the free 90% 🙏 .
I learned a lot from it 🙂 .
Is there any advice to give when the kids parents are part of the LGBT community? When the kids have the LGBTQ+ influence at home, how can you let kids just be kids?
Why would you let your kids have anything to do with that cult?
@mr.mclibtard5 some parents are homosexual, but don't think like all pro trans.
This is educational malpractice!