The most annoying thing for me when I had SM, was when people would make such a big deal when I did talk. I absolutely hated the attention. Also just because someone doesn't talk it doesn't mean they're are stupid and don't know what is going on.
Caitlyn Sena Did your parents praise you for speaking in certain situations and if so, did it bother you? Would you rather they just carried on as if it were normal? I ask because my son has SM and he doesn't want to talk about it, I'm unsure whether telling him I'm proud that he spoke in a certain place, will make him feel uncomfortable about doing it again.
+Shelly B When I started primary school, from the age of 4 - 11, I never said a word to anyone other than the teachers and my close friends. It got to the point where everyone in my school knew I didn't talk, so they'd come up to me at break and ask me to talk, which of course I didn't. I always used to get, "just say 'a', or 'i'", or, "just make a noise". I wouldn't even talk to my grandparents or uncles. Fortunately when I started secondary school, I thought to myself, this is a new set of people, they don't know I don't talk, so I'll just talk and everything will be normal. From then on I talked to almost everyone, except for on the school bus because they were the same group of kids that went to my primary school. Back to your question Shelly, yes I hated it when people made a big fuss over me when I spoke. That was the one thing holding me back from speaking - I was scared how people would react. When I spoke for the first time in front of new people, and no one made a fuss of it - that's what I preferred. I hope that has helped, Shelly, and good luck with your son. If you want to ask any question, feel free to PM me. I am now 23 and have been completely selective mutism-free for 5 years. Watching this documentary, I could relate to this boy and girl so much. I just wanted to hug them. When the girl said "carrot", my heart melted!
Same, but I kinda enjoyed a bit attention though, since no one really liked me when I had it, I was kinda ignored. I would been sad if they didn't bother to react to me talking
Dr. Annie was my daughter's therapist for 6 months. My daughter didn't speak in public situations for 13 years until she was treated by Dr. Annie's CBT therapy. I cannot thank her enough and am SO glad to see this video available on RUclips for other families suffering with this form of social anxiety. Keep up the great work Dr. Annie! Carmen and Sam Klassen
What beautiful children. For any parents here struggling, I wish you strength and patience because it really is difficult but also very treatable. It's not hard to learn CBT techniques, there are many books and worksheets you can download online and teach yourself to be your child's therapist. Sending my wishes and prayers to all who are on this journey of recovery. Stay strong!
As a father of a daughter with SM, I was nearly brought to tears watching the kids in the NightLine video and "seeing" the mumbles, knowing how great of an accomplishment that is for a child. This video has given me newfound encouragement in assisting my daughter with her anxiety. We have tried therapy previously, but each therapist only wanted to do play-therapy, and even then I found it difficult to envision how that would help, placing a child in an environment where there is no expectation set for them to speak, but to expect them to "forget" that they don't talk to others because they are relaxed. I have found that with my daughter, it is when she is active and involved in a social activity that she makes her greatest accomplishments, when she is not given time to build-up that anxiety prior to speaking. Great presentation and information Dr. Simpson. Thank you.
Well as a person who had SM, I personally think that the play therapy would of worked for children. Because sometimes they don't talk because "they don't talk" even though they can. I think in that situation, it's best to forget how you have SM and gain some experience through the therapy.
I'm Psychologist in Brasil and and I have for the first time in my clinic a Child with SM this Lecture is Helping me to undrestand what I'm facing and how to Help this Child. There insn't some much research of this Matter in Brazil regarding SM. Thanks for you help Dr. Annie.
I guess I haven't totally overcome my SM(undiagnosed) yet. I had it when I was in kindergarten and grade 1. I think the whole school years I didn't spoke to anyone in the class(I only spoke to my sister and she conveys what I wanted to say). I was okay at home though..and some friends in the neighborhood. In grade 2, I remember answering the teacher's question. It was video recorded and we were all required to answer at least one question so I answer the one I'm very sure of(my teacher chose me right away because it's rare to see me raise my hand). When we watched the video, everyone(my classmates and one adult which I can't remember who but it wasn't my teacher) were saying they can't hear my voice while that time I answered, I thought I really did a good job at making it loud enough. So I really felt so embarrassed and defeated that's why I can still remember it now, around 20years after. I eventually made friends though. One was a friend of my friend in the neighborhood. And I think that's the start of me being able to talk more in grade 3 and so on. But again, I think I haven't completely overcome it. There are people that I talk to if my close friend is there but I treat them like a stranger(or if I can, I act like I didn't see them) if I'm alone because I'm afraid they might start a conversation. Do you think it's still SM or it's social anxiety?
As someone already mentioned, making a big deal out of verbal responses makes many with SM feel bad. It definitely did for me and actually made me feel defiant like I’d rather just not speak if you’re gonna praise me just for the act of talking in and of itself. Praising the content is great, but praising verbal responses is just an unpleasant reminder to the kid that they have something wrong with them. SM kids aren’t dumb, and they know you’re focusing on their “problem” w/the praise for talking. Just act like it’s no big deal and praise for their thoughts and ideas, the content.
As a person with selective the therapy that worked the best for me was group therapy. I was in a group with kids my age with all kinds of "problems". I was able to get used to the people around me without having all of the attention on me therefore I was less anxious and it took me less time to be able to speak. I am now able to speak in really any situation except public speaking😸 I still have a lot of anxiety but I am able to speak and that is what matters.
I am so happy Dr. Annie treat my son!! he definitely help us so much!!! This was so good, specially for getting school staff understand that this condition can be extremely dangerous for this kids.
This is such a fantastic video aid to understanding this disorder. I'm so happy to find a useful resource like this to aid my 7 year old with his symptoms. Thank you.
so informative, my son is 12 years old and I suffers from SM, I am at my wits end worrying about him I wish he could be participate in a Best Buddies program but they are usually catered to younger children.
I remember when my younger brother suffered from this as a child and my mom brought him to a speech pathologist. He would only speak to friends and family members, but not strangers like waitresses for ordering food. Unfortunately, the therapy backfired and now we can't shut him up. He is pretentious, condescending, arrogant and judgmental. As a family we minimize communication with him as much as possible by limiting our contact with him. Might want to add lessons in tact to your therapy.
mred915 therapy doesn't make someone like that, maybe he always was that way but being unable to speak, you didn't realize it. You have to look at how he was raised...kids learn with their ears and eyes.
@@minilamma4879 He would've eventually grown out of it just like our dad did. But that is neither here nor there now. This happened in the late 70s, early 80s. Water under the bridge. You may not find him so eloquent if you met him.
We have a section on our website dedicated to selective mutism - www.anxietybc.com/parenting/selective-mutism. If you have any questions on our resources, feel free to email us at info@anxietybc.com!
I thank a certain teacher got tired of dealing with me when I froze it was always him he would punish the whole class and point out blame Sarah and tell other kids while I was crying to quit baby her
Quisiera escucharlo en español yo tengo una niña de 9 años con mutismo selectivo. y es muy difícil más que todo en la escuela. Porque no la entienden.😔
Mom won’t answer me I’ve done all the research on my own and Have seen many physicist they don’t know why it’s affecting my relationship with my husband
Hi Dr. Annie, my 5 year old daughter would not speak up for the vision test at her pediatrician’s office. After two trials, her nurse recommended to take her to eye doctor for vision screening. What would be your recommendation in this situation.
Dr. Annie, do you have any videos modeling the strategies you shared in this video. I am currently working with 2 students with selective Mutism. I would appreciate any additional resources on techniques as well. Thank you!
I really enjoyed this practical conference. Thank you so much. I have a question. I have a 4 years old daughter who never said a word in Pk. I am taking her to a psychologist. Should I talk to my daughter about her problem before seeing the doctor? Should I tell her that I am worried about her behavior and want to help her? Or am I creating a bigger problem if I communicate my feelings to her?
Talking to your child about challenging topics helps them work through thoughts and feelings they may find confusing. It may be worth telling your child that you know the thought of speaking may be scary but avoiding our fears doesn’t make them go away. Talk to your child about therapy in a calm moment, so they know that seeing a doctor is something helpful rather than a punishment. To receive further help with diagnosing selective mutism, talk to your family doctor or pediatrician to make sure that there are no developmental issues (e.g., hearing or speech delays). Then, ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who will help confirm a diagnosis of selective mutism by specifically looking at where your child is verbal and non-verbal, as well as evaluating their overall mental health. The main treatment for selective mutism is behaviour therapy. Behaviour therapy involves gradually exposing a child to increasingly difficult speaking tasks in the context of a supportive relationship. Practice begins with easier steps and gets progressively harder - like climbing a ladder. Children are asked to complete tasks that they will meet with success. Success is rewarded with praise and small prizes. In time, children learn that the anxiety they feel when they are asked to speak decreases without having to avoid the situation to feel better. We hope this helps!
I didn’t show no facial emotions they didn’t know when I was happy or sad when doing a test on me and watching mom just cause she smiled at me they said some bad stuff .. sorry I’ve just learnt how they treated my parents
The most annoying thing for me when I had SM, was when people would make such a big deal when I did talk. I absolutely hated the attention. Also just because someone doesn't talk it doesn't mean they're are stupid and don't know what is going on.
I agree. The same thing happened to me all the time and I could not stand it🙈
Caitlyn Sena Did your parents praise you for speaking in certain situations and if so, did it bother you? Would you rather they just carried on as if it were normal? I ask because my son has SM and he doesn't want to talk about it, I'm unsure whether telling him I'm proud that he spoke in a certain place, will make him feel uncomfortable about doing it again.
+Shelly B When I started primary school, from the age of 4 - 11, I never said a word to anyone other than the teachers and my close friends. It got to the point where everyone in my school knew I didn't talk, so they'd come up to me at break and ask me to talk, which of course I didn't. I always used to get, "just say 'a', or 'i'", or, "just make a noise". I wouldn't even talk to my grandparents or uncles. Fortunately when I started secondary school, I thought to myself, this is a new set of people, they don't know I don't talk, so I'll just talk and everything will be normal. From then on I talked to almost everyone, except for on the school bus because they were the same group of kids that went to my primary school.
Back to your question Shelly, yes I hated it when people made a big fuss over me when I spoke. That was the one thing holding me back from speaking - I was scared how people would react. When I spoke for the first time in front of new people, and no one made a fuss of it - that's what I preferred.
I hope that has helped, Shelly, and good luck with your son. If you want to ask any question, feel free to PM me. I am now 23 and have been completely selective mutism-free for 5 years. Watching this documentary, I could relate to this boy and girl so much. I just wanted to hug them. When the girl said "carrot", my heart melted!
it’s still annoying for me ! and I agree
Same, but I kinda enjoyed a bit attention though, since no one really liked me when I had it, I was kinda ignored. I would been sad if they didn't bother to react to me talking
Dr. Annie was my daughter's therapist for 6 months. My daughter didn't speak in public situations for 13 years until she was treated by Dr. Annie's CBT therapy. I cannot thank her enough and am SO glad to see this video available on RUclips for other families suffering with this form of social anxiety. Keep up the great work Dr. Annie!
Carmen and Sam Klassen
What beautiful children. For any parents here struggling, I wish you strength and patience because it really is difficult but also very treatable. It's not hard to learn CBT techniques, there are many books and worksheets you can download online and teach yourself to be your child's therapist. Sending my wishes and prayers to all who are on this journey of recovery. Stay strong!
As a father of a daughter with SM, I was nearly brought to tears watching the kids in the NightLine video and "seeing" the mumbles, knowing how great of an accomplishment that is for a child. This video has given me newfound encouragement in assisting my daughter with her anxiety. We have tried therapy previously, but each therapist only wanted to do play-therapy, and even then I found it difficult to envision how that would help, placing a child in an environment where there is no expectation set for them to speak, but to expect them to "forget" that they don't talk to others because they are relaxed. I have found that with my daughter, it is when she is active and involved in a social activity that she makes her greatest accomplishments, when she is not given time to build-up that anxiety prior to speaking. Great presentation and information Dr. Simpson. Thank you.
Well as a person who had SM, I personally think that the play therapy would of worked for children. Because sometimes they don't talk because "they don't talk" even though they can. I think in that situation, it's best to forget how you have SM and gain some experience through the therapy.
I'm Psychologist in Brasil and and I have for the first time in my clinic a Child with SM this Lecture is Helping me to undrestand what I'm facing and how to Help this Child. There insn't some much research of this Matter in Brazil regarding SM. Thanks for you help Dr. Annie.
I guess I haven't totally overcome my SM(undiagnosed) yet. I had it when I was in kindergarten and grade 1. I think the whole school years I didn't spoke to anyone in the class(I only spoke to my sister and she conveys what I wanted to say). I was okay at home though..and some friends in the neighborhood. In grade 2, I remember answering the teacher's question. It was video recorded and we were all required to answer at least one question so I answer the one I'm very sure of(my teacher chose me right away because it's rare to see me raise my hand). When we watched the video, everyone(my classmates and one adult which I can't remember who but it wasn't my teacher) were saying they can't hear my voice while that time I answered, I thought I really did a good job at making it loud enough. So I really felt so embarrassed and defeated that's why I can still remember it now, around 20years after. I eventually made friends though. One was a friend of my friend in the neighborhood. And I think that's the start of me being able to talk more in grade 3 and so on. But again, I think I haven't completely overcome it. There are people that I talk to if my close friend is there but I treat them like a stranger(or if I can, I act like I didn't see them) if I'm alone because I'm afraid they might start a conversation. Do you think it's still SM or it's social anxiety?
As someone already mentioned, making a big deal out of verbal responses makes many with SM feel bad. It definitely did for me and actually made me feel defiant like I’d rather just not speak if you’re gonna praise me just for the act of talking in and of itself. Praising the content is great, but praising verbal responses is just an unpleasant reminder to the kid that they have something wrong with them. SM kids aren’t dumb, and they know you’re focusing on their “problem” w/the praise for talking. Just act like it’s no big deal and praise for their thoughts and ideas, the content.
This is brilliant. She really gives some great worked examples of what works. I really wish there was a boot camp like that near where we live.
As a person with selective the therapy that worked the best for me was group therapy. I was in a group with kids my age with all kinds of "problems". I was able to get used to the people around me without having all of the attention on me therefore I was less anxious and it took me less time to be able to speak. I am now able to speak in really any situation except public speaking😸 I still have a lot of anxiety but I am able to speak and that is what matters.
I am so happy Dr. Annie treat my son!! he definitely help us so much!!! This was so good, specially for getting school staff understand that this condition can be extremely dangerous for this kids.
Excellent! Thank you for sharing these practical tips.
Excellent Video! Very good practical ideas. Thanks for making this public.
Annie you are my soul sista! Thank you!!!
This is such a fantastic video aid to understanding this disorder. I'm so happy to find a useful resource like this to aid my 7 year old with his symptoms. Thank you.
Thanks Wendy, we are happy we can help!
so informative, my son is 12 years old and I suffers from SM, I am
at my wits end worrying about him
I wish he could be participate in a Best Buddies program but they are usually catered to younger children.
I remember when my younger brother suffered from this as a child and my mom brought him to a speech pathologist. He would only speak to friends and family members, but not strangers like waitresses for ordering food. Unfortunately, the therapy backfired and now we can't shut him up. He is pretentious, condescending, arrogant and judgmental. As a family we minimize communication with him as much as possible by limiting our contact with him. Might want to add lessons in tact to your therapy.
mred915 therapy doesn't make someone like that, maybe he always was that way but being unable to speak, you didn't realize it. You have to look at how he was raised...kids learn with their ears and eyes.
WT HELL, would you rather have your brother to NOT TALK
@@minilamma4879 He would've eventually grown out of it just like our dad did. But that is neither here nor there now. This happened in the late 70s, early 80s. Water under the bridge. You may not find him so eloquent if you met him.
My 3 year old, she'll be 4 in January, just got a DX of SM. I wish she could see this lady! My daughter won't talk to others and kids are worse :(
We have a section on our website dedicated to selective mutism - www.anxietybc.com/parenting/selective-mutism. If you have any questions on our resources, feel free to email us at info@anxietybc.com!
I’m 37 Just found out I had sm autism traits I battle to long with not knowing why my words wouldn’t come out parents never explained it
Super worthwhile stuff! I'm wondering if the PowerPoint slides might be available . . .
I’ll send records about it. Ppl tend to run away or have excuses not to listen .. to me even had phy laugh
I’ve had a few tramas past 19 years I’ve recently was diagnosed with pstd
I thank a certain teacher got tired of dealing with me when I froze it was always him he would punish the whole class and point out blame Sarah and tell other kids while I was crying to quit baby her
Quisiera escucharlo en español yo tengo una niña de 9 años con mutismo selectivo. y es muy difícil más que todo en la escuela.
Porque no la entienden.😔
Mom won’t answer me I’ve done all the research on my own and Have seen many physicist they don’t know why it’s affecting my relationship with my husband
Can't believe someone in the audience let their baby babble through the whole presentation.
Hi Dr. Annie, my 5 year old daughter would not speak up for the vision test at her pediatrician’s office. After two trials, her nurse recommended to take her to eye doctor for vision screening. What would be your recommendation in this situation.
Dr. Annie, do you have any videos modeling the strategies you shared in this video. I am currently working with 2 students with selective Mutism. I would appreciate any additional resources on techniques as well. Thank you!
Hi Evelyn, Have you visited our website? We have resources on our site on selective mutism - www.anxietybc.com/parenting/selective-mutism
Great video ...how long does it take to speak ????..my son is 4he says I'm not going to speak in school ..he insists to say so daily
I really enjoyed this practical conference. Thank you so much. I have a question. I have a 4 years old daughter who never said a word in Pk. I am taking her to a psychologist. Should I talk to my daughter about her problem before seeing the doctor? Should I tell her that I am worried about her behavior and want to help her? Or am I creating a bigger problem if I communicate my feelings to her?
Talking to your child about challenging topics helps them work through thoughts and feelings they may find confusing. It may be worth telling your child that you know the thought of speaking may be scary but avoiding our fears doesn’t make them go away.
Talk to your child about therapy in a calm moment, so they know that seeing a doctor is something helpful rather than a punishment.
To receive further help with diagnosing selective mutism, talk to your family doctor or pediatrician to make sure that there are no developmental issues (e.g., hearing or speech delays). Then, ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who will help confirm a diagnosis of selective mutism by specifically looking at where your child is verbal and non-verbal, as well as evaluating their overall mental health.
The main treatment for selective mutism is behaviour therapy. Behaviour therapy involves gradually exposing a child to increasingly difficult speaking tasks in the context of a supportive relationship. Practice begins with easier steps and gets progressively harder - like climbing a ladder. Children are asked to complete tasks that they will meet with success. Success is rewarded with praise and small prizes. In time, children learn that the anxiety they feel when they are asked to speak decreases without having to avoid the situation to feel better.
We hope this helps!
I didn’t show no facial emotions they didn’t know when I was happy or sad when doing a test on me and watching mom just cause she smiled at me they said some bad stuff .. sorry I’ve just learnt how they treated my parents
58:12
Told me if I didn’t speak he would make sure I ride the handicap bus ..
I’m so sorry that happened to you!