Do I Have Adult Attachment Disorder?
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2020
- Do I have Adult Attachment Disorder? Adult Attachment Styles--When a child develops an attachment disorder during the first years of life, chances are, a lot of the symptoms will carry into adult relationships with him. Because attachment disorders basically mean you weren’t properly nurtured by your caregiver in the first three years, beliefs were developed at that point, things like whether you could trust others, whether they would consistently be there for you, whether they would do you harm, etc.
Do I Have Adult Attachment Disorder?
VIDEOS mentioned:
Recovery Series
bit.ly/RUclipsEpisode5
Adverse Childhood Experiences Explained
bit.ly/ACESE2
Adult Adaptations from Childhood Trauma
bit.ly/RUclipsE10
Understanding Self-Regulation
bit.ly/youtubeEp8
Recommended Resources:
I Don't Want A Therapist! 90 Day Companion Guide
bit.ly/90DayCompanionGuide
Attachment Style Quiz:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/te...
Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie
sahmacademy.com/whole-again-by...
Free Ace Test:
bit.ly/freeacetest
Free "Childhood Emotional Neglect" Quiz:
bit.ly/CENQuiz
ACE Pyramid of Lifelong Effects:
sahmacademy.com/aces-pyramid-o...
Maladaptive Behavior Checklist:
sahmacademy.com/maladaptive-tr...
FIND A TRAUMA INFORMED THERAPIST:
bit.ly/TraumaInformedTherapy
OR bit.ly/traumainformedtherapist
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ACEs or Adverse Childhood Experiences are the negative things that happened to or around us during our developmental years. Things like Emotional neglect, physical or sexual abuse, violence in the home, mental illness of a caregiver, etc. There are ten listed on the official ACE test, which was created by the Kaiser Institute in the 90’s, but it only includes the ten most common adverse experiences. There are many more. And sadly, most ACEs happen to a child before the age of three, according to studies done since the ACE test was created. ACEs repeatedly trigger a child's fight-or-flight stress response. This occurs because emotions associated with coping with ACEs, like anger, fear, frustration, shame, humiliation, anxiety, for example, keep triggering the fight-or-flight stress response.
As the child grows up, they often begin to develop social, emotional and cognitive impairments; some are mild, below the radar, and others are severe.
The child develops coping mechanisms, or adaptations, to survive his or her environment. And unfortunately, these adaptations are most often brought into adulthood and remain until a person goes through trauma recovery.
Addiction is not a disease or genetic tendency that strikes us; it’s a coping mechanism that tends to run in families or societies (again, not genetically, but environmentally).
Addiction is merely pain relief. Stigmatized pain relief, but pain relief all the same. A shopaholic and workaholic are trying to excite and release the same brain chemicals as a substance user, as a way of avoiding pain, underlying feelings that seem too difficult to tolerate in that moment.
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Thanks for watching, Everyone. Please let me know your biggest takeaway or "aha" moment in the comments.
This is such useful 🌟 information all in one place. I can relate to the content of your videos, though I don't recall ever having the information presented in a way that is so easy to use and apply!! I'd love to learn more about personality disorders such as borderline and histrionic that you mention as well as understand more about codependency as a personality disorder. I've never heard someone so closely identify a child's upbringing with outcomes.
THANK-you! That is such helpful feedback! I'll definitely be covering many of those topics in future videos, bc I agree, it's so important to clearly understand these things as pathologies.
Next week, the video topic is Protective Self and how it prevents us from getting to the root of these Attachment Styles and their maladaptations. So glad you're part of the community. Look forward to interacting in the future.
I'm 58 years old and just discovered I (absolutely) have Insecure Attachment Disorder with avoidant attachment. This after having seen 7+ therapists over a lifetime 🙄
I am a survivor of attachment therapy. I was a ward of the state of Washington for 16 years. I was diagnosed RAD at 6 and was in therapy until I finally escaped by running away at the age of 14. They used forced restraint, food control, physical and verbal abuse, sleep deprivation, forced indoctrination, confusion, isolation along with many other barbaric techniques. When I turned 17 I had a child and they took her even against psychiatrist recommendation. They also took the child I had a year and a half later. I did have another child many years later and was able to fight them and won when they tried to take her too. I was also deprived of an education or any future planning and removed at 18 from my ward status with nothing. While I had mental issues the way to help me form attachment or to teach me how to trust was not to spend the whole of my childhood terrorizing me on every level they could think possible. This diagnosis is an excuse for sadistic therapist to torture/break children and traffic them . It has taken me most of my natural life to try heal what they did to me in the name of mental health. I found out recently that this method is still wildly practiced and I want to find a way to stop it. There have been deaths from this practice as recently as 2020. Today I am 42 and I still struggle but I am a survivor. I would be happy to talk to someone about my story as I have a pretty extensive case history and was one of the first on my state. My case set presidence for how these cases are delt with in Washington state today.
Lord have mercy. I am so sorry.
Some people are okay with not having close bonds or attachments to other people...because that bond makes them vulnerable. The more attached you are to a person, the more they can deceive and manipulate you for their own personal gain. That is what I learned from my biological family when I was growing up. Both parents were narcissists and psychopaths, who only cared about themselves, and enjoyed causing pain and distress. I also had five older sisters, but they all became my mother's flying monkeys...always working for her on some secret agenda...never daring to question their leader...demonizing me for nothing more than breaking away from their control, and living my own life as an adult.
If we only understood these things earlier in our adult life. So helpful to connect the dots in relationship problems. Good stuff.
Yes!! I could not agree with that statement more! Better late than never, but never stop learning, yeah?
Low self worth, always afraid people will abandon me, very dependant on having people as friends or whatever to go to, and well I'm not AFRAID of relationships, but I don't feel the urge to get involved in anything either sexually or romantically. I have never (let myself get?) Been interested in a relationship with someone and yes the idea of having sex does definitely terrify me although I can't exactly put my finger on WHY. My best guess is because it's something really intimate? I'm aaaalways scared to dissapoint, be too awkward, fail to meet people expectations of me (which are probably expactations I made up myself, but am fully convinced they do have expectations and am constantly afraid to mess up and be sent away (doesn't help that I've been sent away from horsebarns (my passion and dreamcarreer) and sort of abandoned by friends several times (17 years and onwards) as well.
I'm only halfway accross the video😅
Okay i'm a couple minutes later and I definitely relate to the disorganized attachment, although I'd say some things overlap with other forms too (which isn't weird or anything, ofcourse, in essence it's sort of the same thing/problem that may develop in different ways and different xharacteristics, so to say)
It kind of definitely makes sense because my mother has got (pretty severe) borderline and my dad used to be an alcoholic🙃
Thank you for this video. So useful to analyse and understand this better. Gives me more information and things to think about. I also decided, by the end of your video, that I want to go look for therapy, because I want my childhood problems to stop haunting me😊
@@skuggie7939 Thank-you so much for sharing your thoughts! I truly hope you find the therapy that will help you break free and begin to live life to the fullest! Feel free to send a PM if you'd like help finding a good fit. m.me/102003288042354
@@LGAdkins I am looking into hypnosis, to see if that might be for me, actually. Always been fascinated with it!
Learning to live with what you have and find your happy place in life. Great video and thanks for making it Leah. 😁😎 It's very interesting to think about how our mind develops over our lives. I guess this is why they say the more we age the stronger we become.
This was extremely helpful. Thank you.
I have Secure Attachment Disorder because everything Leah Theobald described about it, this relates to how I have been through infant to adulthood lately due to the fact I have loss by biological mother. Thank You Leah Theobald, you're amazing to explain about this issue.
This was EXCELLENT!! Thank you.
Well done. Thank you Leah.
I can’t find much on Attachment disorders or treatment, for the UK at least 😩
Hi Samantha...I believe you can search for trauma informed therapists right on Psychology Today's website. www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling
I wish I'd known earlier. I was raised very religiously. I have had this my whole life and it's complete torture! It's the only way to describe it. It seemed as if I drove everyone who cared away in my life and that's the worst feeling in the world!
Great easy break down!
My father tried to kill my mother on a regular basis during the first 6 years of my life. After the eventual divorce, my father threw us out into the street, we became homeless, and my mother became an alcoholic. She didn't stop drinking until it was court-ordered after being arrested (in front of me) for her 3rd DUI. The court sent her to AA and gave her random drug tests. But she was a blackout drunk until I was about 12 years old. Then she decided to marry the biggest asshole should could find...after meeting him at AA and discovering that he was secretly rich. She then let HIM abuse me daily until I escaped from them after turning 18. He sexually assaulted me as a teenager...and my mother knows...she just doesn't care. His money matters more to her than her child.
Hope you find healing
: I came here to research my adopted daughter. Lots have been revised in the last twenty five years. My ah ha: I have attachment disorder and never realized it. Tons of therapy has pretty much helped me overcome it. Explains a lot.
I would also say that if an adult has attachment disorder they suffered at the hands of more than just insufficient parenting. Mistreatment and bullying at the hands of one's peers can also compound the problem. In addition other support structures that are supposed to aid in nurturing the child such as schools often are notorious for doing nothing to provide the child with the supports that the child needs……Well back in the ‘80’s they were inept.
IMO this leads straight to addictions such as pornography and maybe heroin.
Hi! I enjoyed this description of the different styles I wanted to ask for clarification on secure bd anxious attachment. Can one have a secure childhood attachment, but due to specific events in later childhood or young adulthood that person develops a secondary 1anxious attachment ? TY
I literally learned about R.A.D. last night, but as it was associated with abuse and sounded like it resonates with things I know of my traumatic childhood , my interest is high. However, this is a lot to consider.
Anxious preoccupied here.
So I was diagnosed with attachment disorder as an adult but I don’t feel that I fit into any of these 🤔
Have you ever heard of people who are overly attached to socialisation?
Could the "Cry it out" method at bedtime create an attachment disorder if the baby's (if used after they are 12m) needs are met during the day?
That makes sense.
Are you talking about rad or is this separate?
A woman I have sex with thinks I have this disorder because I never experienced a attachment with someone before, what she doesn’t know is I was diagnosed with primary psychopathy, I only pretend to act a certain way to get what i want from that person.
That’s kinda sad. But I think she has good intentions. Your diagnosis could be linked to you having to bury your emotions and pretend to get approval of your parents. Sometimes the trauma can become that bad that your empathy emotions disappear & that’s when psychopathy comes in play ( I think ). Why not be honest with her and not waste your time. Having to pretend all the time seems exhausting to me. Tell her about your diagnosis, she will understand why you have problems with connecting to people. Nothing wrong with psychopathy.
I mean everyone kinda does that, but it's usually give and take
@@enitjuh3344 I don't have parents, I was a child of the system, as far as bury my emotions, what you don't understand is I don't bury or hide them, they aren't there, it's just how I am.
@@snailart9214 EXACTLY, that's why I don't see what the big deal is with the way people view people like me.
@@enitjuh3344 Nothing wrong with psychopathy???🤣
Your video is misleading, you are describing attachment styles, not disorders, 2 different things.
Too much info in one vid