How My Life Changed After I Quit My Job As A Doctor
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- It's simple: I got my life back.
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ABOUT RYAN FIGHTMASTER:
I'm a board-certified psychiatrist that left medicine in the fall of 2022 to build a life I love and want. I write, surf, and refurbish furniture because... it's what I enjoy. I share my journey at FightmasterMD.com.
I graduated medical school at the University of Oklahoma and psychiatry residency at the University of California, Irvine. I previously worked for HealthCorps, where I built a health program for high school students and appeared on the Dr. Oz show.
CONTACT:
You can get in touch with me via Instagram at / fight_the_md
Transcript:
When I quit my job as a practicing physician, it was because I had to. I’d tried to retrofit medicine to me, for eight years, and couldn’t ever get the shoe to fit. I could not be happy and practice medicine. I had to surrender and admit, “I. don’t. Want. To. do. this”.
That surrender happened five months ago. And what’s happened since (the true gift of leaving medicine), has surprised me:
For most of med school and residency, my life was tinted with a begrudging tone. Just to be okay every day, to fight that current of medicine, it required relentless battling.
There were small consequences of this:
I used to yawn… All… the… time! One missed night of sleep through my life into disorder. I am very grateful to my wife for her patience during this period. I was annoying to myself.
There were also big consequences, for example:
Anywhere I went, it was hard to be present. Because of the fight in the clinic or hospital to keep my soul on life support, I lost myself outside the hospital. The fight continued in all aspects of my life. This is fractured living.
In my first newsletter, I wrote about the day where I realized the battle was over, about a month after I quit, when my wife andI attended a wedding which required a cross-country flight at 5AM to New Orleans (eastern travel takes no prisoners). In the past, I would have made it through but begrudgingly. Not because I didn’t want to be at the wedding. Not because of lack of excitement at traveling, no. Because I had nothing left in the tank from all-day current fighting, all the time. Inside a job that wasn’t refilling my tank, I had to ration my resources. The trip would threaten survival as I’d known it for eight years.
On that trip-one month after I’d quit my job-I was just tired and loved it all. I wasn’t scared of losing me, of not having enough in the tank. I had an extra coffee, an extra beignet, and we celebrated a beautiful wedding weekend.
My days are better now. Hugs are warmer. Conversations are richer. Because I love what I’m doing again, it gives me energy back, which I get to pour into my life. I never worry about draining my tank. I’m yawning less. Present more.
Leaving medicine gave me my life back, all I sought for 8 years).
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#physicianburnout #medicalschool #medstudentlife #medicalstudent #leavingmedicine #quittingmedicine
So refreshing!
Glad you feel that way. Thanks for commenting!
My heart's been acheing ever since I decided I cannot mentally handle medicine (dropped out of 4th year), so been searching for videos like these to feel less guilty. So appreciate this upload a tonne. Thanks.
You're welcome. Lot of ways to find purpose in this world (and help people) that aren't named medicine. That uncertainty can be really hard. Wishing you clarity and good luck!
“The true gift of leaving medicine gave me my life back.”
Planning to take a 2 year break (aka quitting and seeing what’s next) after 15 years of medicine. I’m so looking forward to this!!!
@@abacavir237 Excited for you! What a big decision. You never know what’s waiting on the other side :)
Trying to live through a bad life situation without trying to leave that situation makes you lose yourself, you lose powerful emotions to avoid the bad, but you lose your happiest moments. Every break is stained with the fact that you need to willingly walk to the bad situation at the end of it. Only after you leave that situation for good, do you start to heal and feel more again. You can feel worse but you can feel better, you can look inside yourself and not feel worse for it. After I left my bad situation I had my lowest lows, not because of anything new, I just let myself feel. Because of that, I’m way happier and I’m a better person now. For anyone reading this who is in a bad situation, your brain starts healing almost immediately. I experienced that emotionlessness for 5 years, it’s been about 5 months and I can’t say this will be how it is for everyone, but I regained all the progress I lost.
That's right on. After I left I was in a darker place for a stretch, only now 5 months later, are things more understandable. Glad you're in a happier space and feeling a better version of yourself.
@@RyanFightmasterMD the first day after I escaped that emotionless pit was the day I caught up on the years of stunted personal growth. That night I saw the good and the bad, I was worried out of my mind for reasons I won’t say here but I also saw the beauty. To quote myself from that night,”the universe has no reason to be beautiful. It just is” years of fractured living can be broken down in a matter of days
@@placeholderdoe The build up takes a long time, you’re right, and then… you’re through it. Wild process. Just glad to hear you made the journey worth it!
Well done
Appreciate you watching
@Fight_The_MD I'm a doctor, about done too brother.
@@autumnconde9378 It's a hard job. Worth it if you love it, and even then, it's tough!
Not everyone is lucky enough to have another easy to make money
May be your specialty in Psych or the type of Psych were not a good fit. My Psych Attending in Med School was in private practice treating well paying Personality Disorders, but they stressed her. She went into academics and we dealt with the Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Depression, etc…. She was much happier. Another option would be doing a Residency you enjoy… something in the ROAD category? You are young enough.. Of course, if you are FI, do whatever you want. As long as you have the means and not end up destitute especially in old age. Best wishes.
@@AjitMD Appreciate those wishes. At some point, after trying several paths within psychiatry and knowing that was likely the best speciality for me (going into Psych was probably the best decision I made while in medicine, and I enjoyed much of my residency and patient care), I had to admit I just didn’t want to be a physician. It was the truth. If I’d flipped into a ROAD speciality, it wouldn’t have changed that truth. For others, I think a change of scenery can work and I’ve seen it work with a few of my classmates and attendings too. But for me, I couldn’t let the fears of financial downfall prevent me from going out and figuring out who I was. I knew I would’ve regretted not finding that out, rich or not, one day off in the future.
Do you think that the specialty of psychiatry contributed to you leaving the field entirely? Is there a specialty that you think would have been a better work-life balance?
Hey Tim, Great question. Psychiatry has its challenges no doubt but in a way I think psychiatry was the best field I could have chosen. My issue was outside of psychiatry, more about my decision to become a physician. If I was a Family Med or Ortho Surgeon, the same story wouldn’t played out (maybe even sooner). In hindsight, I’d choose psychiatry residency over others again if given the same opportunity. - Ryan
Right. There is no work life balance, freedom in how you practice, or independent thinking aloud anymore....in any field. Insurance companies now buy networks and as a doctor you get to do your job and babysit all the mid levels.
So how are you earning now ? I am about financial stability
Throughout residency I invested in real estate, thus I have a level of income that’s survivable, while I figure out this next chapter :)
You know my father thinks doctor makes a lot of money and he always praise other who qualified competitive exam and I feel low and sometimes hopeless that I can't score more and feels like a failure
@@sleepynerd19 That's a really difficult position and working through my family's expectations was a huge part of my journey too. Ultimately, in my journey, figuring out what I wanted was the most valuable step I could take (and for me that was not being a doctor). Wishing you the best in finding clarity!
I want your help can I contact you through telegram. Can you please share your telegram profile?
@@sleepynerd19 Happy to provide perspective! If you go to my website, Fightmastermd.com/contact/ that’s the best way for us to get in touch!
❣️ Promo*SM