I love how she brought up the break up of the extended family. I would kill for more support from my parents and my other in-laws. It would make life a bit richer, we could support each other and share our big moments, but we've all scattered and don't live near each other anymore. I feel so isolated and lonely without family around
My wife and I have a 9 month old atm. Both of our parents are within 20km and yet... Extended families living next to each other as was common in my country up until 50 years ago seems like heaven. On the other hand, people go no contact with family so easily. Unfortunately, I feel like learning to live with family like it was done before is probably one of the things that will have to happen if we are to avoid practically going extinct.
You guys are neglecting to mention the economics here. Most families cannot survive on one income, there is no federally mandated maternity leave, and childcare costs are astronomical. We need to address these issues FIRST before we can address these other issues…
Why should there be Its not the governments job or your employers job to give you luxuries You are an adult And then a parent Its your job not anyone elses If someone chooses to be a parent Why should society lean on everyone else for their own choice
@RCenal Wait!! You’re so close to understanding!! So if it’s not the government’s role, but the adult, then SHE needs to make the logical choice, right? SHE needs to do what is best for her and her future. Which many women are realizing is NOT having children!
@@manifest2203 It was propaganda because the world is not overpopulated, if anything population is declining. The economy being crap is thanks to all you voting for socialism.
@@manifest2203it really was, just like the "humans caused climate change" nonsense. But y'all believe anything you're told without looking into it beyond what the powers that be tell you. And yes the economy isn't great right now, but it also sounds like you have personal issues that you blame other people for it instead of doing some introspection & acknowledging how you cause your own problems.
So true! I also think that if you're working all day, you just don't have energy to go home, cook dinner and take care of children. It's not that millennials and Zers don't long for motherhood, it's that society has made it impossible with the demands of the workforce and the cost of living.
As they shld. Women shouldn’t be prioritising men at all. Decentering men is the best thing any woman can do. Even getting with high value men is rarely worth it. It brings its own set of headaches, problems and control. But the competition for these men is so high and not worth the effort when the chance of success is low and after getting him, he is even more insufferable. Investing in herself with all her time and effort will give her far more rewards later on. Nothing is worth more than freedom. If a woman wants marriage and kids, she should play the field and then get with an average man when she wants to settle, but still be cautious about everything while in the relationship and not baby him. If a woman wants only a child, there are options for that too. In any case, the woman should have fewer kids later in life. But always, always prioritise lifetime financial stability and security above all else. Ofcourse being child free by choice and single is the best thing if she wants the best quality of life.
My mother pushed me to do everything as independent as possible. I did the opposite because I followed my intuition. I’m now a stay at home mother of two children and my husband encourages and provides for us and I’m couldn’t be more grateful for trusting myself and the process at just 22 years old when all my peers were doing the opposite.
@@manifest2203 I don’t have to worry about that? You know why? I’ve done my due diligence and made sure I truly knew the man I was marrying and procreating with. I also make sure I do what I need to do to keep him. Also, my position doesn’t mean I’m totally helpless. I’m educated and have worked most of my life. Having a back up plan for any unexpected things is always important. But no, my first worry isn’t him leaving me for another woman.
You are over simplifying it. I am Muslim, and in a more traditional society, I am also a doctor who diagnosed a father and husband with brain stroke, now his wife have to go work or they don’t eat, because half his body is paralyzed. No diploma, no work experience, she can only work as cleaning lady, be under paid and take care of everything. A lot of women want to earn money because they don’t feel safe. Earner are respected, they have a social status. Woman status is implied, mostly ignored and vastly abused. Feminists may be wrong, but they are not wrong to be angry.
*"It would be hard to find a single example in history in which a group that cast more than 50 percent of the vote got away with calling itself the victim... Women are the only 'oppressed' group to share the same parents as the 'oppressor'; to be born into the middle class and upper class as frequently as the 'oppressor'; to own more of the culture's luxury items than the 'oppressor'."* ~ Warren Farrell
woman get more free things than men by far, I'm not mad but feminism makes woman think they can have it all. No one should get it all nor get it all easy.
@@anthonyhuber-permanentlyre7808 rich and powerful people are always the minority in any culture, yet they are able to repress the majority. Women are at a natural disadvantage because they are smaller and weaker than men and can be impregnated by them. This has caused women problems in pretty much every human society in history. Every community, even the “oppressor” ones, also contains children, the elderly, and the disabled, all of whom are vulnerable to abuse because of their physical limitations. I don’t know who “Warren Farrel” is, but he sounds like a typical brain dead woman hater.
Things have changed drastically over the last 50 years. Both parents are having to go out to work full time just to make ends meet. But what’s happening is the dads are going to work, coming home and sitting down and doing next to fuck all. Women on the other hand are expected to work full time and still do all the childcare and chores as if they’re stay at home mams. We’re very tired and burnt out. I have only 1 child, there’s no way I’d have another. Young women are growing up watching older women having to do it all and seeing how depressed and tired we are, it’s no wonder women want to remain childfree. If we want more children born then society needs to be fixed first
@hEV6060842 The only way to fix society is what we should have done in the 60s when women started entering the workforce in large numbers. Instead of doing the hard work we pressed the easy button and created the long term problem that we are seeing now. Women went to work outside the home because men abused/mistreated/cheated/left them destitute and women went to work to avoid these situations. If we would have put the focus on teaching men to properly care for women and be men that they can rely on, then we could have prevented this problem.
@@hEV6060842 not true at all. There are plenty of men who are willing to come home and split the work, put those are the unattractive ones. They date the guys who look good and are used to getting away with whatever they want because they're pretty. The same way women think they are always going to receive help because they're pretty. Pretty privilege is 99% of the f****** problem
I forwent my dream job I had worked so hard for. Graduated with 4.0 gpa and I saw myself at the top of the food chain 😂, the minute my son was born and we both locked eyes I knew I couldn’t have someone else raise him. I couldn’t have someone else be his “whole day” person type of thing. I knew at that firm I was going to have to travel a lot and it wasn’t until we looked at each other when he was born that I really questioned what was the most important thing for me AND him. He’s 14 now and he’s told me many times how much he appreciates to have me pick him up from school and be here for him every step of the way. It was the best decision not just for me but for our entire family. Now that he and his little sister are older I opened up a day care but I only operate when the kids are at school and I’m doing so because together with my husband became Bitcoiners soooo I’ve been grinding for sure 😂. Not the way I thought I would but instead I’ve been there to watch both my kids grow up ❤
I have two very young children with my wonderful husband and I don't have many friends who are mothers - most have chosen not to be and cannot understand why I would 'put [my]self through that.' One recently told me, after one day babysitting my children with her husband - "Your kids are GREAT and DEFINITELY solidified my choice to be child free." I know she meant nothing hurtful by it, but to be told, in so many words, "Man, am I glad I didn't choose your life!"........well, it certainly doesn't feel like motherhood is celebrated or revered in any capacity. Still wouldn't change a thing, and am grateful I chose this path.
Is this man married with children? What does he know about ‘unpaid labor?’ It’s shocking to have men (knocking on the door of 40) without wives and children talking about how sad it is that people no longer live traditionally. Strange
My mom said to all three of us, to see how we all turned out based on her values and what she taught us , is like having an ifinite value necklace around her neck. That feeling is not something you can purchase.
43/M I have a Master's degree but still never had a salary, health insurance, benefits, or 401K. I can survive in this gig economy but I think the moral and responsible thing to do is not to bring kids into this situation.
Most women want to be mothers. Talk to women who have been left by their husbands and boyfriends with two kids and get no child support or $200 per month for two kids. The judges are a disgrace these days and men don't have to do too much. Women have to work and do most of the work with kids. This looks like you are blaming the women not the men. Men often walk away. Women are also judged so much by appearance. Men are harsh on women who gain weight after pregnancy. Let's be honest.
Many women don’t have kids because they haven’t found men they can trust to stick around and provide. Men are in crisis and this is impacting women terribly.
BINGO. Just look eat the Drug overdose rates -- ENORMOUS GAP between men and women. And thats just the "tip of the iceberg" but you cant bring up facts and realities; you cant dim men's glory.
Russian late millennial here. A lot of Russian women would love to have kids but economy is not great, housing is inaccessible and poverty is almost a guarantee for a single mom of 2+ unless she’s a rarely gifted careerist and kids are raised by a granny. The roles in modern society shifted significantly, Mary Harrington I think explained perfectly how industrial societies working outside of households actually complicated child rearing. It’s not enough to just bring home fat paycheck unless you can provide for all of you plus maid and nurse, at least sometimes. The smaller amount of people, usually mother, is required to do the bigger amount of chores (automatization notwithstanding, managing and keeping everything in mind is also a lot of mental work), and you have to watch out for toddlers 27/7 with little rest for several years, or accidents happen, your offspring eats dishwasher tablet and you’re charged with neglect. Men still traditionally are of little use even if the paycheck is equal or work hours of both constitute to full-time employment, most were kissed in their bums by their helicopter moms, don't know how to do all the household duties or just don’t feel obligated to care for a child up to a standard (stories of mom getting sick and child and house being neglected because of weaponized incompetence are many). I have to mention that in our country a lot of men vanish in the first several years, unable to level up to fatherhood, because their wife grows sick and tired and disgusted with lack of help, and kids are a lot to manage as one person. Moms need their sleep and shower at the very least, you know, and many men will want a body of their partner to bounce back, which requires gym, self-care time and healthy nutrition. A lot of men are addicts of different kinds and act no better than toddlers themselves. We have millions of bread and milk fathers who don’t pay child support what so ever. So, unless a woman is sure she can do alright as a single mother, not to break emotionally under duress, and kids are rarely the delight if you’re sleep-deprived for months, not become a jaded abuser or neglectful mom of latchkey kids (again, Russian perspective here), they refuse to have kids. People with extended family and owned housing are more likely go have the’, but even with all the gov support lack of physical presence of partner in parenting is a good repellent for most. We are not getting healthier as a specie, too, with modern medicine insuring almost all survive, no matter how weak, and do you know what it means? See, I am myself IT worker, but will make for poor mother, since I am neurologically impaired and often suffer from migraines for days if overworked. I can program robot sweeper and plan my life to be as little chores as possible, maybe hire part-time maid and nurse, but ecology doesn’t get better, my kids might be same as me or worse, on autistic spectrum, and in this scenario I am royally effed for life if I roll the dice poorly. I would rather clean my cat’s litter box and live childless, and I have a good partner with whom we communicate, than risk going into wheelchair 10 years younger and having partner that will be mentally unprepared to step up and just take baby in his hands and work from home remote, because my hands are trembling and I have bouts of physical weakness even now, aged 29. And I want kids. But with no support net (our moms have to work till 60+ and grandmas require care themselves), no prenuptial agreement making my man primary caregiver in case we fall out of something happens to me during pregnancy and birth, and I don’t care if I am rendered disabled, it’s about kids’ security, I won’t risk it. TL;DR In times past women had no economic freedom and were household's backbone regardless of their wishes. Many are traumatized from torn apart households of post-industrial era and just don't want to become their mothers, forsaken or never taken proper care of by their husbands and lovers. Economy is not great, single mom is poverty almost guaranteed, and most would rather feed a pet than struggle for 20 years with deadbeat partner who only works while wife works job and works home, or divorcing and chasing child support from their mental toddler of a partner. Extended families and tight communities are almost all in ruins, governmental childcare, if there is any, is almost nonexistent, nobody can become your help if you go sick or go through PPD or PPP, and you'll be legally charged with neglect if anything happens. And you know, in the glamorized past kids raised themselves with almost no reprecussions if they were dumb enough to fall into river and eat a lethal dirtpie.
@@VerminaeSupremacy people don’t want to talk about how modern women are expected to take on more roles then women of the past. Those women got to be stay at home mothers only. Now we have to be mother AND BREAD WINNERS at the same time. Both mother and father roles. While men have stayed with the same role: breed winner.
@ I think it’s bread, not breed. But yeah, we have a saying here “я и лошадь, я и бык, я и баба, и мужик” which I would rhyme something along the lines “Both an ox and a working horse, mother-father fills both roles”. It has been this way since WW2, most men are in some capacity deadbeat drones because they’re scarce (mostly due to addiction and reckless behavior) like women in China and Putin paying cash for the drones to go and fertilize soil is actually ingenious way of ridding impoverished families of DV in case daddy doesn’t survive and kids get to go to college by quotas even if they’re dumb as rock and poor as dirt.
@@VerminaeSupremacy amazing comment I read the whole thing. I can’t stand these people who think all women are the same and should just fucking breed no matter who you are. Thank you for your informative perspective and I wish you the best.
@@drkimap5784 thank you. I used to be very sympathetic with men’s plights, my da and grandpa died early, but after witnessing many pitfalls in male attitudes, to myself included, I drifted from 50/50 bills okay to deeper understanding how invisible unpaid mental and physical housekeeping workload destroys women and makes them reluctant to join the reproduction with husbands on the couch, taking out trash and loading dishwasher maybe twice a week, while both bring in paycheck.
Black men thru music, movies and their collective actions have not only denigrated womanhood and motherhood…they’ve outsourced that denigration to the world. His framing of the discussion is so disingenuous.
I think many millennial women watched her boomer mothers struggle to raise children without the help of extended families and are choosing something else.
@@TheGoldenCapstone I personally live well below my means and volunteer half my free time to feed the homeless and help animal shelters. As do most of my friends and family. So no, it’s not “most women”. 🤷♀️
I asked my daughter what she wants to do for a living when she gets older...her reply, "cant I stay home like Mom and raise a family"...🥰...told her its her choice to make...but told her its hard to choose both
Grew up in a famer community and this was happening back in the 80's to 90's. with the mothers had been telling their daughters don't get trapped here. Even my own mom was like that with my sisters. I graduated late 90's and roughly 80-90% of the girls left the area to jobs or college and all the guys were left at home with no one to date/marry. Internet was just starting no online dating really so over those two decades and beyond, whole families just disappeared. Went back that way for a funeral last year and all the old farms are gone it's all a bedroom community now. Ran into about a dozen friends from HS (Football, wrestling) and out of all of us four are married and only 2 of those have kids. This started long before we all noticed it.
I think our species never selected for females that have a deep desire to actually make and raise children. This situation is a good thing because it ensures that the future population will have an in built instinct to have children. Which will be great as technology becomes ever more pervasive.
Success is income-based for the obvious reason: survival. The need for assets and resources have been vital to mankind since the dawn of time. “Children are economic units” because children are economic burdens. They’re “parasitic” in the most basic definition of the word; that doesn’t mean that they aren’t loved. I have children and yes I adore them, but any mother will tell you that all the love in the world doesn’t change the obvious reality the children have many needs and in our current society, real assets and resources are required to fulfill. “Morality” and “spirituality” aren’t “reality”: they are abstracts that can improve the quality of life but cannot change economic realities. Why are women opting out of motherhood? Lack of the financial stability and security to put their own incomes on hold. Is it tragic? Yes. Is it alarming? Maybe. Is it logical? Yes. Would it be preferable if more children were brought irresponsibly into this world by women who can’t care for them? I doubt it. I’d love to come on this show and debate this. Having two people on a podcast who agree on a controversial topic is neither interesting nor thought-provoking.
I am a mother of one. I would have gladly given life to more children, however I was abandoned by my ex husband and tossed out of my home to be a single mother. I left most of my items behind, lost my friends and extended family. I learned quickly that men will throw women away if they think the grass is greener elsewhere. I have become a minimalist and have anxiety over relationships of all kinds, not just romantic, because I know that people can toss me aside at a moment's notice. Keep one dufflebag of items so you can move on quickly. I feel sad for my daughter as she has no good male role models.
“I learned quickly that men will throw women away if they think the grass is greener elsewhere.” That’s a human trait, it isn’t specific to men. I’m sorry you went through all of that though.
We are demanded to work outside the home PLUS cook, clean, laundry, nurture children, nurture the relationship with the husband, etc. It's hard. And saying it's an unpaid job is out of context. They are saying it's WORK...........They are saying the work HAS value but that some DON’T see the work they do as valuable. Stay at home mom's are looked down upon as less valuable than a woman who brings in money. Raising a family is seen as less valuable and degraded. It is valuable, that's the whole point.
@MrRicehard my experience has been with both. But yes, other women can be horrible. The right man, in my opinion, appreciates and honors women. You are correct.
@@rachelvanzile this is an interesting take because I think WOMEN talk down on stay at home moms. Men adore women willing to stay home with the kids. I’d also argue that most women feel they need to work because they want a particular lifestyle which is only attainable from excess as opposed to necessity
Motherhood is a demanding job and is for ever, that is why women do not want it anymore, is just too much. For me I am so happy i wanted this responsability.
As an older Gen Zer, I really think some women my age (mid 20s) just don't want to acknowledge that they are getting older & having a child would force them to acknowledge it (saying this bc it did for me, but at least I'm not in my mid-20s still acting like a damn spoiled middle schooler like some of these girls)
Being a father is a demanding job as well No parenting doesn't stop But it was a choice still Life doesn't stop it keeps going regardless of how you feel or what you do Play victim all you want
@@RCenalit’s you playing victim. Enjoy your forever choice and don’t worry about those of us who made the opposite choice. I don’t want to do anything one thing forever. I love seeing me a happy family but it’s not for everyone. Some of us might be out here to be future foster mothers or adopt later in life, or just be around to be “the village” to support the masses of single mothers out there whose men didn’t stick around to raise the kids. My life doesn’t have less value just coz you feel you’re doing something more important than me. And let’s face it, fathers do a fraction of the raising of kids as the mothers do.
@@geenhern wouldn’t it be good that those women are choosing to not have children then? If they enjoy sleeping in, spending money, traveling and etc, wouldn’t that be good for them to not irresponsibly bring another person into this world?
@@Tresdrole123 it’s also hilarious when you see that these self proclaimed traditional men actually can’t handle a traditional woman. They’ll say women are gold diggers and shallow if they want them to make money and be strong. But they’re the ones saying they’re going to be providers and protectors 😭
@ only with positive connotations, along with imagines of human evolution phases. The term modern women has connotations of misogyny, so I asked in jest why we don’t use the term modern men as one that is misandrist?
Men generally have never changed since society in the west is still being maintained and functioning. Men understand duty. Men can't pick and choose like women do, Men also don't have safety next so Men are an will continue to just be Men.
It’s mostly other women shaming childless unmarried women for their choices. I think it’s jealousy. I do not want kids. And that renders marriage pointless for me. I am 41, and enjoy moving around a lot, switching things up, changing locations etc. can’t do that with a family to be responsible for. I choose freedom for myself. I see single mothers everywhere pushing prams with screaming autistic kids, this is the norm. It’s more common than a happy nuclear family these days. I choose to never be a single mother. I was raised by one, it looked hard and my mother didn’t enjoy it. She’s resented me for it forever. This is the reality. Women cannot depend on men to stick around to raise a family. So some women opt of of the game. Why does this upset so many people? You worried about the lack of future tax payers? How does it effect anyone other than the person who made the choice to not have kids?
Right! I will never let someone guilt trip me into having kids! I want zero chance of becoming a single mother. We as a society already have to struggle financially and they push having kids as if that’s going to lighten the burden and come at a free cost. Also Not every woman is going to be able to be a stay at home mother with a good man that respects her and WANTS to provide for her and the kids. I would rather regret not having kids rather than birth them and resent them and make their lives hell.
Men aren’t dependable which is why they literally have laws set up that hold men accountable for their children. They don’t want children they want the orgasms.
It's more like once women have kids, they realize how silly they were chasing a career. So they try and tell other women. Women initiate 80% of breakups and divorces, it's women that don't stick around.
@peanutboxes4076 I had a comment here but I guess youtube deleted it but I understand 💯 no one will ever guilt trip me into having kids. I would rather regret never having them than regret and resent them once born.
I absolutely agree with her on the extended family separation. I grew up in central Asia with a big extended family, being around the entire family taught me different values and beliefs. I miss my extended family members 😢 ❤
You guys failed to address some very basic practical issues. Most families can’t survive on one income, there’s no federally mandated maternity leave, and childcare costs are astronomical.
Theres no benefit to having children anymore, its just not worth the heartache and disappointment. Live your life on your own terms. Our society is no longer set up for raising kids unless your wealthy. And they usually hire someone else to raise them.
The family is the forgotten pattern that binds society together. The mother-father-child bond, each person holding to their direct relatives, those who created them and those whom they created, connects every human being to every other human being. If mother, father or child are not considered a necessary duty, then no one is obligated to anyone, and no one is entitled to anyone.
I am 60 and you are right, it began, before you were born. Around the 70s. And it was not money, the women "freed" themselves. Now they are mostly unhappy childless old women.
Pop Freud was still strong in that time, so mommy was responsible for all the ills of the world. Why subject yourself to ever-changing and malicious judgment?. Population fanatics pushed the idea of children as an assault on the earth, something educated people devoutly believed. Funny, this didn't apply to immigration. Women were not trained for the independence needed to run a household. School rewards passivity.
People can barely afford to take care of themselves at this point. Have you seen the video of an entire family living in a 1 bedroom? Benefits, groceries, housing etc are unattainable for one person in some cases. It's not just feminism. It's the current state of affairs.
Critics will always point to times where 5 kids lived in one unsanitary mud hut, then say that economics has zero influence. It fails to ask how many of those 5 kids were wanted, agreed to, or raised with proper care.
Oh em gee! Did you see the big scary video that said how living in a dirty, overpopulated, corrupt urban area makes it hard to own a home and buy food?! 🤣🤣🤣
I hear more and more people say they do not want kids because they way things are in the world today. This just makes the way things are worse. People need to be brave and take back the world from the chaos.
I argue that the problem of social conservatism is that it decides that if something is good for the masses, all must do it. It then turns the misfits into square pegs hammered in round holes. The misfits rise up, then make the world crap for the normies. I do not know if there will ever be a balance which has norms, but also has enough space for the outliers.
Women stayed home to raise children, men went off to battle. But for some reason, we don't talk about the decline in male military enlistment as a cause for concern.
Because major wars aren't happening right now ,also men are still put in draft in order to be able to vote whearas a women doesn't even have to in many countries. Don't try to spout feminist anti truths for your own benefit. And women stayed home because they are weak and incapable fighting wars they aren't brave or are capable to digest the brutalities of war in general. On of top that women like ya'll have audacity to not be thankful if men who sacrificed themselves so that you don't have to and even if given the chance most of you won't draft yourself to the war.
Why are they skipping motherhood? Perhaps it has something to do with the growing number of couples with children who now declare that rushing to have children was the biggest mistake they made. It makes you wonder why those who do have grown children are now telling them not rush to have children. It's better not to have children than having to live with the regrets down the road when reality kicks in. I know because I come into contact with many couples who chose not to have children and they all say the same thing..not having children was the best decision they made and one they don't regret.
The ONLY people that regret not having children are the fence-sitters (childless) I've known since I was 10 years old that I never wanted children and usually with that self-awareness, there are no regrets.
@@savagesweetheart90Your unborn will never experience any suffering on this random floating rock of disgusting pathogens, natural disasters, diseases, illnesses, wage slavery, government tyranny, and suffering!
I love how he wants to bring up the Bible and what the Bible says about having kids, but not once does he bring up with Bible says about being married first not once does he bring up the fact about what it says about marriage and how men are supposed to love their wives like Christ love the church. Christ died for the church, and he never brings up the fact that it says what it says in the Bible about women being submissive either he doesn’t bring up marriage. He just brings up the kid part but you can’t have one without the other according to the Bible so let’s not just bring up half of it.
@c.f.okonta8815 I didn't says it isn't _more_ of an issue for a woman. I said it's _also_ an issue for men. Some people forget that and think it's no problem at all.
@c.f.okonta8815 Btw,.men have biological clock too. We _all_ are getting older and our fertility and the quality thereof is decreasing, not just for women (more drastically), but for men _as well._ Then, raising kids as you're older has also its share of difficulties.
I cant think of a life I’d rather live than the one I live with my son, but I also have a lot of help. If I didn’t have help I couldn’t be a “good” mother so I can imagine why women who know they don’t have a tribe would say “I’m good on that.”
Please just let it go. It's obvious that parenthood is not meant for everyone. It's a personal choice and I'm sick of people trying to push others to have kids when they don't want to and they're not going to. Let them be. It's not for you to decide. Get over it.
@@chestergloyd7530the world doesn’t need this many people! We’d be fine with 1 billion people. Do you guys not realize how much we consume as humans? The pollution, the trash, ending the lives of different species. Yes I get it your body is telling you to reproduce but there’s a reason you have a brain. It’s to weigh the pros and cons of your actions!!!
@ thank you for responding and understanding. I see a lot of commentary where populating the planet falls onto women only where a great number of us would have had families by now had we been able to find men who didn’t abandon us at the first sign of conflict, much less a pregnancy (which the latter has happened to me and many other women in my social circle). I would love to see dialogue where women wanting to skip motherhood isn’t viewed as a selfish, immature, or trendy act.
25/F. Always thought I would have children, but as the child of immigrant parents who own nothing, so still struggle with finances and need me and my siblings' support, I find it scary. I am working class and view education and a career as the single way to break past the generational poverty. I work 50 hours a week and study part time for my master's, whilst still taking part in projects to improve my employability and earn extra to save. I live in a box because that's what I can afford - I earn just below average for my age. I'm not entirely sure that having a child would be a good idea. I have also never met a man who seemed a good enough prospect to build a life with. Most men my age seem more interested in things that are short-lived and casual relationships. We just wouldn't align... I think that is also a common theme. Women are not able to meet the right man.
I just brought this up with my wife. I think we're looking back on the 1950's as this golden era to return to when it was actually only ever a transitional period into what we have now. That's not the model we should be trying to emulate. I'm personally convinced the modern welfare state, particularly SS is largely responsible for the breakdown in multigenerational living. We moved the responsibility for taking care of the elderly from the elderly people's kids to everyone's kids. It gave the illusion of independence, and created a tragedy of the commons. If you know you're going to need your kids to support you when you get old, you make sure you have kids and that they get good educations. When you think someone else's kids are going to make a credit transfer to support you, you lose that motivation to do it yourself.
@The430philosopher sure, but there's also this culture now of rights and not of obligations. People will scoff at you for assuming that your children should have an obligation to take care of you when you're old. No one is obligated to do anything. Everyone has rights and they must be given to you by government.
US 1950 were a terribly unfair outlier. Our mothers always had to work and juggle second shift at home, men were either traumatized drunks or nonexistent because of WW2. The amount of DV and toxicity resonates throughout society to this day. You had it unfairly great and should not look back at that like at something normal.
Really? So you will have more kids so that they take care you? Do you think it is easy to get jobs today? Making money, finding education, healthcare are all cheap for you?
@@manifest2203 we've created an unsustainable system where the incentive structure works against family formation. That's what the people in the video are saying. That's what I'm saying. We've drifted away from traditions and practices that necessity forced on us, and replaced them with ill advised policies, stop gaps, that are not sustainable. The path back is going to be painful. There's no easy way to extract ourselves from the current dynamic. Geez, it's almost too complicated to sum up in a comment. Everything works in tandem. Industrialization-driven shifts toward centralized production and collective solutions has created a feedback loop of dependency, rising costs, and diminished personal responsibility. This loop, reinforced by democratic incentives, makes modern lifestyles unsustainable by discouraging reproduction and limiting individual freedom to escape or innovate alternatives.
As a successful man im not having kids or a family. It just doesn't make sense ALSO why have more responsibilities?? I already have employees and my day job to worry about 🤷🏾
....it's because of economics. Simple. I literally have spent thousands on just medical costs so far having my son. Thousands. For basic prenatal care and delivery. 🙄 And our insurance is considered good in dystopian U.S. landscape. Give me a break. This conversation reaks of ignorance and delusion about the real reasons women skip motherhood these days.
It sounds like the "You could afford a house if you did not buy Starbucks, Netflix, and avocado toast" non-arguments. I understand that it isn't 100% economic, but to act as if the economy can keep getting shittier for the commoner everyday and not have people opt out of kids because of it is absurd.
No its because most women are captured by anti human feminist movement, which is a weapon designed to reduce human population. The impact to the economy is a self inflicted side effect of rich billionaires funding feminism so they can have more workers, its women fault the economy is so screwed. All women should quit thier jobs and get married, and watch the economy bounce back to a certain degree. But you won't, so enjoy the slow burn towards extinction.
@@skylinefeverespecially when the overarching social standards remain those of boomer times and, not, say, medieval peasants (which some commenter, apparently angry that women won't breed with him, really used as an example of hey, you don't need money to raise lots of kids). Very, very few people raised in a first world or even poor but above starvation level developing country (I live in Ukraine for example) will happily, at a young age, while bright and beautiful, just give up on all social standards and give themselves to a working class man who expects them to pop out and raise kids to medieval or even Great Depression standards. Nobody besides deranged cultists wants to live without decent house, education, food, clothes, nor will threatening "if you don't make kids with me, society will collapse!" work as a pickup line.
Some of us examine our temperament, our likes and dislikes, our ambitions, our interests, and decide we'd be bad mothers so why do it and destroy ourselves and put a child at risk. The Every Woman Must Have Babies crowd has a fit over this. They are trying to rob us of that choice but we've been through this before and will find a way to protect our rights again.
They literally want women to breed like cattle regardless of if they’d be good mothers or not. They don’t really care about the children they only care about themselves and their roles. If women don’t want children then men will have nothing to give women and that makes them absolute.
The problem for women isn't that they're not paid a wage for housekeeping and care of a baby. The problem is that they're NOT APPRECIATED for it. They're told by society their effort and labor is worth less because they don't bring actual money in. I also found that American people are much more focused on and prioritizing money above anything else, including education or social status/class.
Some people are so against motherhood, they are literally trying to force women to put their children in childcare rather than support them to find better ways to ensure proper nurturing, education, and bonding with the child….early childhood education didn’t always exist and hasn’t necessarily made kids smarter or more equipped
The thing that suck most about the modern time of child raising is the grandmothers are self involved and do not help with the kids at all. But they have their hands out for money and also say don’t put me in an old folks home. My thoughts; if grandparents are not helping us, we can’t help the grandparents, raise kids, and work a full time job. Kids will always come first!
I grew up in Toronto and yeah, if one isn't talking about immigrants from more traditional cultures, then definitely most boomers, though now at 'grandparents' age, don't want to fulfill any of the roles their parents did when they reached that age. Yet they also expect their kids to look after them (when they offshored jobs to benefit their RRSPs and mutual funds, and when they demand the government enact all kinds of policies, including mass migration, to keep the prices of their housing investments going up eternally).
I am a young woman so I’ll give my opinion. The reason why women have to strive for a good education and career is because this allows us to not have to be subjugated to a man who may be abusive or may leave us for a younger model. Also, most men can’t afford a household on their own, so women NEED to work most often. The issue also is that even when women work and bring home an income, she is stuck doing most child rearing and household chores. And some women AND men have decided that children simply aren’t for them. That is much better than bringing children into the world knowing that one doesn’t have the desire or aptitude for them.
Wow! the most privileged group demographic in History! life isnt Free or easy! wear a helmet! and most men contribute a Far greater share of the financial chores and paying off debt!
My older sister is well into her 60s, now. Her greatest joy and what gives her life meaning is her extended family. Sons, daughters, grandsons and granddaughters. The women who are foregoing that are denying their own nature, and will likely be sad and/or bitter (like now, only more so) as they age.
Are we denying our nature? Or are we actually for a brief moment in human history actually able to choose what we really want? Some of us anyway. As there are millions of women still today who have the choice taken from them
@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm in 90% of cases you are indeed denying your nature & doing what toxic feminism tells you to do. Take it from another female who used to buy into that nonsense but then started actually thinking for herself. Btw I'm still going for a career, but given that it's teaching/education I'd say my heart is on how I contribute to society & impact kids lives, not money money & more money Also, you likely live in America or another western nation, so yes you definitely have more rights than a woman in Saudia Arabia, but you take them for granted.
@@skylinefeversounds like you need therapy for mommy/daddy issues. They shouldn't have treated you that way if they did resent you, but if you don't move past it it'll chain you forever. Again, speaking from experience.
I work 50-60 hours a week and when I'm home I'm 100% focused on my kiddos. My wife hired a nanny and when she gets home she sits on her phone for hours while the kiddos beg for her attention.
@@greyfoxice you should have had this conversation BEFORE you got married. Not everyone wants to be a mom. Can't hurt her for that. Plenty of women who WANT that job. You picked wrong. Not her fault.
The observed truth is that it is incredibly expensive to live in a modern world without 2 incomes. So having children absolutely becomes an economic consideration that folks need to make, along with a spiritual one if that's your thing. People, in general, have lived the majority of their lives in relative excess without children, and you just cant un-live that experience. It's a sugar hit that sadly many people don't want to water down. Societies pressure and expectation to live the good life, which often means, to live in excess, is overly valued and quite frankly, false economy.
@@sdrc92126 Sure. Cost of housing, utilities, inflation, interest rates, wage growth, cost of education, health. It's right there in the Consumer Price Index (CPI). The material point is, the vast majority of people have to consider the economic impact of having a child. But I'm totally interested in seeing your proof that I'm sure is totally not anecdotal.
I'm going to make it work, because personally I don't use the fact that I am female as an excuse to act like a victim. Life is hard no matter who you are or what you choose, get over it.
Women chose this economic situation. By women entering the workforce in mass the economy adapted to the increase of the available workers now women have to work to support their family.
The role of airlines in the drop in birth rates is too often overlooked. Allowing them to travel along with the other passengers, rather than containing them in dedicated family spaces, has done tremendous damage to the reputation of children.
I don't think anyone argued for the nuclear family to the exclusion of the extended family. When people moved from the country to the city or suburbs after WWII, they were of course also leaving extended family. Nuclear family is better than a broken family, but bring back the extended family would be great for everyone but assisted care facilities.
@AlyssaIrvine so real talk. My wife has wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world. We went through IVF and were lucky to have a successful, healthy pregnancy. My wife loves that baby more than anything in the world, and I feel the same way. I'm not sure why you have negative feelings about our situation when we both willfully went into this. And, babies are not "it". They're humans. What you said is dehumanizing and I'm sorry you don't have love in your heart.
Birth control pills play a HUGE role in attraction which is another reason why we have childless women. Plus, if the body thinks its pregnant all the time: Why would any woman want kids?
3:11 as a young mom. I hear what you’re saying. But it’s really hard choosing to be a mom. Clearly motherhood is a lot of work. But you’re almost punished now a days for choosing to be a mother. It’s crazy.
life changed; women choices were limited, and everything was predetermined for them unlike now and let's be honest it's not easy thing to be a father or mother and not worth it for many people
Love how she says the 50s was just an aversion. For most of history, the men had to go out and do crap jobs, fight the wars, hunt for food, while the women maintained the homestead albeit local culture as well.
I’m sorry, but I have it made. I do not “have” to stay home. I do not “have” to take care of our children. I do not “have” to make their breakfast, lunch and dinners. I get to. Perspective is EVERYTHING. I get to love my husband so he can provide for us because he wants to. I get to spend all day with our children, because that was our mutual decision. And when I have a hard day with them, he takes one look at me when he gets home and no questions asked he taps me out. I do the same for him. We need better role models for our kids. Not all this brokenness that makes them hate the home and family.
Although the extended family is important, the only way to have any connection to the extended family is through a healthy relationship between the father and mother. So no matter how you see it the father and mother have to be together or the extended family doesn't coexist with either. Also these days woman that have children out of a relationship or marriage expect the grandparents to care for the child 90% of the time even though it isn't the grandparents responsibility.
No. Abortion numbers peaked in 1991 and fell by more than half from 1981-2017. The numbers always fell faster during Democratic administrations. They have been up since then but still far below historic levels.
Vasectomy appointments increased by 1200%. Mn shld stop this and be willing to fthr a chld everytime they have smex and be willing to provide for that chld.
Maybe because its a choice instead of an obligation. Also, if you want kids so bad have more or go adopt one of the millions that are in the foster care system and just leave the people (men and women) who don't want any children the f**k alone. Live and let live, easy right?
“Women spend more” yes we do, on what tho? On things for the FAMILY, not themselves. Who is stocking your house full of the things you love? The woman. And on the point of putting a value on housework and raising a family. Yes women need to be recognized for doing the hardest job on earth, raising new human beings! Men can’t fathom the sacrifice women make to raise the kids and keep a man happy. Women feel under appreciated and taken advantage of, thus divorce. Gina is spot on with us needing a community to raise the children, a mom by herself at home is lonely and depressing with no extended familial help, it’s a losing battle. And zuby you def have heard and seen the trad wives online, we all see it. It’s almost nauseating how fake they are
That corporate job won't be with you at the end, (especially if it's not a skill position) and from what I've learned and been told, it's extremely hard to make good friends as an older retirement age adult. Doesn't mean if you have a family they'll always be around, but it helps a lot of people feel happiness, and promotes positive mental health for seniors, especially if you're the catalyst that got your family there. The whole "rich aunt" thing isn't the flex people think it is either because it's already been found that it actually creates more family division in most cases.
But women shouldn’t be prioritising men at all. Decentering men is the best thing any woman can do. Even getting with high value men is rarely worth it. It brings its own set of headaches, problems and control. But the competition for these men is so high and not worth the effort when the chance of success is low and after getting him, he is even more insufferable. Investing in herself with all her time and effort will give her far more rewards later on. Nothing is worth more than freedom. If a woman wants marriage and kids, she should play the field and then get with an average man when she wants to settle, but still be cautious about everything while in the relationship and not baby him. If a woman wants only a child, there are options for that too. In any case, the woman should have fewer kids later in life. But always, always prioritise lifetime financial stability and security above all else. Ofcourse being child free by choice and single is the best thing if she wants the best quality of life.
Money invested and managed will take care of you through goods and services bought. You think a state run facility is going to be great? People get dumped off in homes all the time and have families. No guarantees.
@@AlyssaIrvine You're right, but I'm not talking about having kids for the sake of them taking care of you. If you do that, that means you failed somewhere along the way. I'm talking about the emotional gratitude it provides, which has already been found to be a major boost. Grandparents wildly live longer and are more fulfilled. Also most people have no real legitimate retirement because most people are financially inept.
@@manifest2203 Nothing is worth more than freedom is something I agree with. But you're not talking about freedom, you're talking about isolation, which literally causes people to die sooner. On top of that, saying a woman should just settle with an average man just because, it 1. Not fair to that man who may be putting in his all and 2. Not fair to those kids, who could easily become disillusioned with you should they find that out. Sounds like you want nothing to do with anyone which is more than fine.
There's another, simpler, answer. Being a parent is just like anything else. It's something some people want, and others don't. There is nothing in life that every single person on this Earth was meant to do. It's absolutely insane that being a parent somehow is that one thing that everyone is supposed to want to do. If that's the case, then we might as well apply that to lots of other things. Now that being a parent feels more like an option than a requirement, people who want to do it do it, and people who don't want to, don't. The only people I've ever seen have a problem with this are people who regret having children and they are envious of those who were more responsible in their choices.
It starts to make sense that the story of humans start off with Eve not being content with paradise and getting all of us kicked out for her own selfish desires 😂😂😭 story as old as time
The 400 plus year history of North America is of the nuclear family and pioneers in a mostly empty wilderness. Since the Second World War, we've simply found that moving around for economic advantage is the route to prosperity. Most applaud this environment but the result is the fracturing of the extended family.
If the older generations (who hold most of the wealth and real estate in North America) are mad about their kids moving far away, then they shouldn't have created an economy where making a living is only possible by migrating far and wide.
Breeders are wannabee gods reenacting their cultures' creation stories. Kids playing with fire. Of all the gods I've ever heard of throughout the years none of them inspire the flattery of imitation, at least for me.
Yes. Especially the economic conditions now (offshoring of jobs...helps boomer stocks and mutual funds...mass migration for cheap labor -- hurts young workers, benefits old investors and executives...high prices for housing, shored up by the policies of governments eager for boomer votes -- Canada is the best example here). They, as the managers and CEOs, also were the ones who decided that the entry level office job which they got with a high school diploma and a handshake now requires university degrees (for which they'll chide the young about getting into student debt), unpaid internships, 'experience' noone gives the chance to get, etc. And, at the end of the day, they'll still complain about how their kids aren't married yet, don't have families yet, haven't bought houses yet....
Even if more women wanted to become moms...one cannot act like raising a family does not cost anything.One cannot pay,rent,bills and put food on the table with thin air.Women and girls shoukd have the right to be parents or not.If a woman wants to be a mom..she should get respect.Motherhood is important.But if a woman do not want kids..that shoukd be respected.On grandma and grandpa helping out...a lot of baby boomers work to make end meet.A loy of older adults work so the babysitting in going to be limited.People shoukd respect people who want their own kids but childfree people need to be respected too.
I love how she brought up the break up of the extended family. I would kill for more support from my parents and my other in-laws. It would make life a bit richer, we could support each other and share our big moments, but we've all scattered and don't live near each other anymore. I feel so isolated and lonely without family around
My wife and I have a 9 month old atm. Both of our parents are within 20km and yet... Extended families living next to each other as was common in my country up until 50 years ago seems like heaven.
On the other hand, people go no contact with family so easily. Unfortunately, I feel like learning to live with family like it was done before is probably one of the things that will have to happen if we are to avoid practically going extinct.
@@gracethi5663 come to my house grace. My kids live in NYC and Philadelphia and are career driven not a lot of family time left
You guys are neglecting to mention the economics here. Most families cannot survive on one income, there is no federally mandated maternity leave, and childcare costs are astronomical. We need to address these issues FIRST before we can address these other issues…
All caused by feminism. Congrat girls you played yourselves, just as intended
Why should there be
Its not the governments job or your employers job to give you luxuries
You are an adult
And then a parent
Its your job not anyone elses
If someone chooses to be a parent
Why should society lean on everyone else for their own choice
@RCenal Wait!! You’re so close to understanding!! So if it’s not the government’s role, but the adult, then SHE needs to make the logical choice, right? SHE needs to do what is best for her and her future. Which many women are realizing is NOT having children!
@@mollygrace3068 Exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Perhaps that is intentional. If you plot out these problem on a chart, you can easily see they all began at the same instant
Nobody wants to be a single mother or a married single mother. The end.
@SweetLily007 period...all this damn gaslighted they doing in this video🤦🏾♀️
@@SweetLily007 period!
I’m 29 and child free. The way the treat single mothers make my stomach turn, why would anyone sign up for that
Does no one remembee the huge propaganda in the 90s about world overpopulation? I do.
@@MR3DDev yes i had friends in California absolutely horrified that my Mormon sister had 6 kids. They looked at her like she was a criminal
Really? That was propaganda? Do you think it is easy to get jobs today? Making money, finding education, healthcare are all cheap for you?
@@manifest2203 It was propaganda because the world is not overpopulated, if anything population is declining. The economy being crap is thanks to all you voting for socialism.
Reality is pop collapse
U r weird
Google tfr
@@manifest2203it really was, just like the "humans caused climate change" nonsense. But y'all believe anything you're told without looking into it beyond what the powers that be tell you. And yes the economy isn't great right now, but it also sounds like you have personal issues that you blame other people for it instead of doing some introspection & acknowledging how you cause your own problems.
Modern women replaced husbands with corporate bosses and children with pets
So true! I also think that if you're working all day, you just don't have energy to go home, cook dinner and take care of children. It's not that millennials and Zers don't long for motherhood, it's that society has made it impossible with the demands of the workforce and the cost of living.
Noy only that the government
@@davidchung2203 *True, the Gov wanted more taxpayers to inflate the budgets for their mini-empires.*
@@safeandeffectivelol and the welfare state.
As they shld. Women shouldn’t be prioritising men at all. Decentering men is the best thing any woman can do. Even getting with high value men is rarely worth it. It brings its own set of headaches, problems and control. But the competition for these men is so high and not worth the effort when the chance of success is low and after getting him, he is even more insufferable. Investing in herself with all her time and effort will give her far more rewards later on. Nothing is worth more than freedom.
If a woman wants marriage and kids, she should play the field and then get with an average man when she wants to settle, but still be cautious about everything while in the relationship and not baby him. If a woman wants only a child, there are options for that too. In any case, the woman should have fewer kids later in life. But always, always prioritise lifetime financial stability and security above all else. Ofcourse being child free by choice and single is the best thing if she wants the best quality of life.
My mother pushed me to do everything as independent as possible. I did the opposite because I followed my intuition. I’m now a stay at home mother of two children and my husband encourages and provides for us and I’m couldn’t be more grateful for trusting myself and the process at just 22 years old when all my peers were doing the opposite.
What will you do when he upgrades and replaces you?
@@manifest2203 what a demonic thing to say
@@manifest2203He won't, most men don't leave decent women.
@@manifest2203Begone feminist witch
@@manifest2203 I don’t have to worry about that? You know why? I’ve done my due diligence and made sure I truly knew the man I was marrying and procreating with. I also make sure I do what I need to do to keep him. Also, my position doesn’t mean I’m totally helpless. I’m educated and have worked most of my life. Having a back up plan for any unexpected things is always important. But no, my first worry isn’t him leaving me for another woman.
You are over simplifying it.
I am Muslim, and in a more traditional society, I am also a doctor who diagnosed a father and husband with brain stroke, now his wife have to go work or they don’t eat, because half his body is paralyzed.
No diploma, no work experience, she can only work as cleaning lady, be under paid and take care of everything.
A lot of women want to earn money because they don’t feel safe.
Earner are respected, they have a social status.
Woman status is implied, mostly ignored and vastly abused.
Feminists may be wrong, but they are not wrong to be angry.
Yes. Thank you for understanding.
@@merib7094 thank you! If something happens to your husband, you are now trying to provide for a family on minimum wage.
*"It would be hard to find a single example in history in which a group that cast more than 50 percent of the vote got away with calling itself the victim... Women are the only 'oppressed' group to share the same parents as the 'oppressor'; to be born into the middle class and upper class as frequently as the 'oppressor'; to own more of the culture's luxury items than the 'oppressor'."*
~ Warren Farrell
woman get more free things than men by far, I'm not mad but feminism makes woman think they can have it all. No one should get it all nor get it all easy.
Action mn are the most opp4ssed right now- acc to mn. So we shld remove the right to v6ote for mn.
@@anthonyhuber-permanentlyre7808 rich and powerful people are always the minority in any culture, yet they are able to repress the majority. Women are at a natural disadvantage because they are smaller and weaker than men and can be impregnated by them. This has caused women problems in pretty much every human society in history.
Every community, even the “oppressor” ones, also contains children, the elderly, and the disabled, all of whom are vulnerable to abuse because of their physical limitations.
I don’t know who “Warren Farrel” is, but he sounds like a typical brain dead woman hater.
The ETERNAL Victim!
This nifty quote only works for white women.
Things have changed drastically over the last 50 years. Both parents are having to go out to work full time just to make ends meet. But what’s happening is the dads are going to work, coming home and sitting down and doing next to fuck all. Women on the other hand are expected to work full time and still do all the childcare and chores as if they’re stay at home mams. We’re very tired and burnt out. I have only 1 child, there’s no way I’d have another. Young women are growing up watching older women having to do it all and seeing how depressed and tired we are, it’s no wonder women want to remain childfree. If we want more children born then society needs to be fixed first
@hEV6060842 The only way to fix society is what we should have done in the 60s when women started entering the workforce in large numbers. Instead of doing the hard work we pressed the easy button and created the long term problem that we are seeing now. Women went to work outside the home because men abused/mistreated/cheated/left them destitute and women went to work to avoid these situations. If we would have put the focus on teaching men to properly care for women and be men that they can rely on, then we could have prevented this problem.
@@hEV6060842 not true at all. There are plenty of men who are willing to come home and split the work, put those are the unattractive ones. They date the guys who look good and are used to getting away with whatever they want because they're pretty. The same way women think they are always going to receive help because they're pretty. Pretty privilege is 99% of the f****** problem
@@hEV6060842 We fix it by send women back home instead of working at a job.
@@hEV6060842 You never had a Dad.
@@hEV6060842 well, you should have chosen better
I forwent my dream job I had worked so hard for. Graduated with 4.0 gpa and I saw myself at the top of the food chain 😂, the minute my son was born and we both locked eyes I knew I couldn’t have someone else raise him. I couldn’t have someone else be his “whole day” person type of thing. I knew at that firm I was going to have to travel a lot and it wasn’t until we looked at each other when he was born that I really questioned what was the most important thing for me AND him.
He’s 14 now and he’s told me many times how much he appreciates to have me pick him up from school and be here for him every step of the way.
It was the best decision not just for me but for our entire family. Now that he and his little sister are older I opened up a day care but I only operate when the kids are at school and I’m doing so because together with my husband became Bitcoiners soooo I’ve been grinding for sure 😂. Not the way I thought I would but instead I’ve been there to watch both my kids grow up ❤
I have two very young children with my wonderful husband and I don't have many friends who are mothers - most have chosen not to be and cannot understand why I would 'put [my]self through that.' One recently told me, after one day babysitting my children with her husband - "Your kids are GREAT and DEFINITELY solidified my choice to be child free."
I know she meant nothing hurtful by it, but to be told, in so many words, "Man, am I glad I didn't choose your life!"........well, it certainly doesn't feel like motherhood is celebrated or revered in any capacity. Still wouldn't change a thing, and am grateful I chose this path.
You may not realize it, but a lot of childless women envy you. Not all of us are "childfree" which is voluntary.
You did the right thing by having kids. It’s one of the most fulfilling things a person can do
well once we acknowledge feminism is the root cause it wont get better.
It’s because they don’t want to do this much work and that’s ok. To each their own.
@@amandaarmstrong3606 She isn't your friend
Saying that your “value” decreases after quite literally being the sole reason why humanity is even in existence is quite the fumble.😮💨😪🥴
Is this man married with children? What does he know about ‘unpaid labor?’ It’s shocking to have men (knocking on the door of 40) without wives and children talking about how sad it is that people no longer live traditionally. Strange
My mom said to all three of us, to see how we all turned out based on her values and what she taught us , is like having an ifinite value necklace around her neck. That feeling is not something you can purchase.
43/M I have a Master's degree but still never had a salary, health insurance, benefits, or 401K. I can survive in this gig economy but I think the moral and responsible thing to do is not to bring kids into this situation.
The right will never admit it's the economy.
@@s.e.studios1386even though they bitch about it ALL the time but clearly can't see the correlation. 🤦🏻♀️
An unmarried man telling women unmarried and married to go have kids how many kids does this guy have?
Society sees Unqualified men as infinitely better than women no matter what.
A bit like women voting for conscription when they never have to fight???
He is not wrong though
Most women want to be mothers. Talk to women who have been left by their husbands and boyfriends with two kids and get no child support or $200 per month for two kids. The judges are a disgrace these days and men don't have to do too much. Women have to work and do most of the work with kids. This looks like you are blaming the women not the men. Men often walk away. Women are also judged so much by appearance. Men are harsh on women who gain weight after pregnancy. Let's be honest.
Having children cost money and with this economic troubles we are having, it's not selfish of not having them.
Absolutely
Though i will add it doesn't matter the economy
If someone doesn't want kids
Its still not selfish
Its a choice not a requirement
Many women don’t have kids because they haven’t found men they can trust to stick around and provide. Men are in crisis and this is impacting women terribly.
Yes.
BINGO. Just look eat the Drug overdose rates -- ENORMOUS GAP between men and women. And thats just the "tip of the iceberg"
but you cant bring up facts and realities; you cant dim men's glory.
Underrated comment
@@learningearning8385youtube sending me notifications just to let me know my comment got deleted
This is so true. I’m 36 and I’ve never met a man who was mature enough even for marriage, let alone marriage + children
Russian late millennial here. A lot of Russian women would love to have kids but economy is not great, housing is inaccessible and poverty is almost a guarantee for a single mom of 2+ unless she’s a rarely gifted careerist and kids are raised by a granny. The roles in modern society shifted significantly, Mary Harrington I think explained perfectly how industrial societies working outside of households actually complicated child rearing. It’s not enough to just bring home fat paycheck unless you can provide for all of you plus maid and nurse, at least sometimes. The smaller amount of people, usually mother, is required to do the bigger amount of chores (automatization notwithstanding, managing and keeping everything in mind is also a lot of mental work), and you have to watch out for toddlers 27/7 with little rest for several years, or accidents happen, your offspring eats dishwasher tablet and you’re charged with neglect. Men still traditionally are of little use even if the paycheck is equal or work hours of both constitute to full-time employment, most were kissed in their bums by their helicopter moms, don't know how to do all the household duties or just don’t feel obligated to care for a child up to a standard (stories of mom getting sick and child and house being neglected because of weaponized incompetence are many). I have to mention that in our country a lot of men vanish in the first several years, unable to level up to fatherhood, because their wife grows sick and tired and disgusted with lack of help, and kids are a lot to manage as one person. Moms need their sleep and shower at the very least, you know, and many men will want a body of their partner to bounce back, which requires gym, self-care time and healthy nutrition. A lot of men are addicts of different kinds and act no better than toddlers themselves. We have millions of bread and milk fathers who don’t pay child support what so ever. So, unless a woman is sure she can do alright as a single mother, not to break emotionally under duress, and kids are rarely the delight if you’re sleep-deprived for months, not become a jaded abuser or neglectful mom of latchkey kids (again, Russian perspective here), they refuse to have kids. People with extended family and owned housing are more likely go have the’, but even with all the gov support lack of physical presence of partner in parenting is a good repellent for most. We are not getting healthier as a specie, too, with modern medicine insuring almost all survive, no matter how weak, and do you know what it means? See, I am myself IT worker, but will make for poor mother, since I am neurologically impaired and often suffer from migraines for days if overworked. I can program robot sweeper and plan my life to be as little chores as possible, maybe hire part-time maid and nurse, but ecology doesn’t get better, my kids might be same as me or worse, on autistic spectrum, and in this scenario I am royally effed for life if I roll the dice poorly. I would rather clean my cat’s litter box and live childless, and I have a good partner with whom we communicate, than risk going into wheelchair 10 years younger and having partner that will be mentally unprepared to step up and just take baby in his hands and work from home remote, because my hands are trembling and I have bouts of physical weakness even now, aged 29. And I want kids. But with no support net (our moms have to work till 60+ and grandmas require care themselves), no prenuptial agreement making my man primary caregiver in case we fall out of something happens to me during pregnancy and birth, and I don’t care if I am rendered disabled, it’s about kids’ security, I won’t risk it.
TL;DR In times past women had no economic freedom and were household's backbone regardless of their wishes. Many are traumatized from torn apart households of post-industrial era and just don't want to become their mothers, forsaken or never taken proper care of by their husbands and lovers. Economy is not great, single mom is poverty almost guaranteed, and most would rather feed a pet than struggle for 20 years with deadbeat partner who only works while wife works job and works home, or divorcing and chasing child support from their mental toddler of a partner. Extended families and tight communities are almost all in ruins, governmental childcare, if there is any, is almost nonexistent, nobody can become your help if you go sick or go through PPD or PPP, and you'll be legally charged with neglect if anything happens. And you know, in the glamorized past kids raised themselves with almost no reprecussions if they were dumb enough to fall into river and eat a lethal dirtpie.
@@VerminaeSupremacy people don’t want to talk about how modern women are expected to take on more roles then women of the past. Those women got to be stay at home mothers only. Now we have to be mother AND BREAD WINNERS at the same time. Both mother and father roles. While men have stayed with the same role: breed winner.
@ I think it’s bread, not breed. But yeah, we have a saying here “я и лошадь, я и бык, я и баба, и мужик” which I would rhyme something along the lines “Both an ox and a working horse, mother-father fills both roles”. It has been this way since WW2, most men are in some capacity deadbeat drones because they’re scarce (mostly due to addiction and reckless behavior) like women in China and Putin paying cash for the drones to go and fertilize soil is actually ingenious way of ridding impoverished families of DV in case daddy doesn’t survive and kids get to go to college by quotas even if they’re dumb as rock and poor as dirt.
@@VerminaeSupremacy amazing comment I read the whole thing. I can’t stand these people who think all women are the same and should just fucking breed no matter who you are. Thank you for your informative perspective and I wish you the best.
@@KidPoe we have a saying from single moms of Soviet Era: «Я и лошадь, я и бык, я и баба, и мужик!»
@@drkimap5784 thank you. I used to be very sympathetic with men’s plights, my da and grandpa died early, but after witnessing many pitfalls in male attitudes, to myself included, I drifted from 50/50 bills okay to deeper understanding how invisible unpaid mental and physical housekeeping workload destroys women and makes them reluctant to join the reproduction with husbands on the couch, taking out trash and loading dishwasher maybe twice a week, while both bring in paycheck.
Black men thru music, movies and their collective actions have not only denigrated womanhood and motherhood…they’ve outsourced that denigration to the world. His framing of the discussion is so disingenuous.
I think many millennial women watched her boomer mothers struggle to raise children without the help of extended families and are choosing something else.
Yeah they're choosing consumerism and materialism.
@@TheGoldenCapstoneding ding ding🚨🚨
@@TheGoldenCapstone I personally live well below my means and volunteer half my free time to feed the homeless and help animal shelters. As do most of my friends and family. So no, it’s not “most women”. 🤷♀️
@@sammierose1150he's just mad that pretty young virgins won't throw themselves at his feet to be their "provider"
@@TheGoldenCapstoneAll humans consume. When u create carbon footprints through procreation, that is even more consumers u bring into the world. 😂
In 1960s families could have 3 children and bring them up well on one salary and live well. Not now. We are in very hard times
Families in 3rd world countries raise multiple children. It's not the economy, it's the culture.
*Going off the Gold standard was a mistake as was women entering the labor force enmasse.*
2x the workforce+ same number of jobs= deflated salary
"Well" is relative term.
@@anthonyhuber-permanentlyre7808 as was allowing immigration (both legal and otherwise) en masse!
I asked my daughter what she wants to do for a living when she gets older...her reply, "cant I stay home like Mom and raise a family"...🥰...told her its her choice to make...but told her its hard to choose both
Grew up in a famer community and this was happening back in the 80's to 90's. with the mothers had been telling their daughters don't get trapped here. Even my own mom was like that with my sisters. I graduated late 90's and roughly 80-90% of the girls left the area to jobs or college and all the guys were left at home with no one to date/marry. Internet was just starting no online dating really so over those two decades and beyond, whole families just disappeared. Went back that way for a funeral last year and all the old farms are gone it's all a bedroom community now. Ran into about a dozen friends from HS (Football, wrestling) and out of all of us four are married and only 2 of those have kids. This started long before we all noticed it.
I think our species never selected for females that have a deep desire to actually make and raise children.
This situation is a good thing because it ensures that the future population will have an in built instinct to have children.
Which will be great as technology becomes ever more pervasive.
Success is income-based for the obvious reason: survival. The need for assets and resources have been vital to mankind since the dawn of time.
“Children are economic units” because children are economic burdens. They’re “parasitic” in the most basic definition of the word; that doesn’t mean that they aren’t loved. I have children and yes I adore them, but any mother will tell you that all the love in the world doesn’t change the obvious reality the children have many needs and in our current society, real assets and resources are required to fulfill.
“Morality” and “spirituality” aren’t “reality”: they are abstracts that can improve the quality of life but cannot change economic realities.
Why are women opting out of motherhood? Lack of the financial stability and security to put their own incomes on hold.
Is it tragic? Yes. Is it alarming? Maybe. Is it logical? Yes.
Would it be preferable if more children were brought irresponsibly into this world by women who can’t care for them?
I doubt it.
I’d love to come on this show and debate this. Having two people on a podcast who agree on a controversial topic is neither interesting nor thought-provoking.
I am a mother of one. I would have gladly given life to more children, however I was abandoned by my ex husband and tossed out of my home to be a single mother. I left most of my items behind, lost my friends and extended family. I learned quickly that men will throw women away if they think the grass is greener elsewhere. I have become a minimalist and have anxiety over relationships of all kinds, not just romantic, because I know that people can toss me aside at a moment's notice. Keep one dufflebag of items so you can move on quickly. I feel sad for my daughter as she has no good male role models.
Sorry but having one duffel bag is NOT the answer, and you are instilling fear and insecurity into your daughter
“I learned quickly that men will throw women away if they think the grass is greener elsewhere.”
That’s a human trait, it isn’t specific to men. I’m sorry you went through all of that though.
I’m taking a guess, but you probably were batting out of your league with a Chad
As a married woman with two this is my worst fear..
@@josephjoy2245sisters ex did this.. fat truckie with no teeth for another woman she was 21 hes 39 my sister 29.. happened last year
We are demanded to work outside the home PLUS cook, clean, laundry, nurture children, nurture the relationship with the husband, etc. It's hard. And saying it's an unpaid job is out of context. They are saying it's WORK...........They are saying the work HAS value but that some DON’T see the work they do as valuable. Stay at home mom's are looked down upon as less valuable than a woman who brings in money. Raising a family is seen as less valuable and degraded. It is valuable, that's the whole point.
Nobody is telling you this. You are beating up a strawman so you can paint other people as unreasonable.
Looked down on by other women. Not by men!
@MrRicehard my experience has been with both. But yes, other women can be horrible. The right man, in my opinion, appreciates and honors women. You are correct.
@@ClarenceJBoddicker1987 hmm....not beating anyone up. I am speaking from years of experience.
@@rachelvanzile this is an interesting take because I think WOMEN talk down on stay at home moms. Men adore women willing to stay home with the kids.
I’d also argue that most women feel they need to work because they want a particular lifestyle which is only attainable from excess as opposed to necessity
Motherhood is a demanding job and is for ever, that is why women do not want it anymore, is just too much. For me I am so happy i wanted this responsability.
As an older Gen Zer, I really think some women my age (mid 20s) just don't want to acknowledge that they are getting older & having a child would force them to acknowledge it (saying this bc it did for me, but at least I'm not in my mid-20s still acting like a damn spoiled middle schooler like some of these girls)
Being a father is a demanding job as well
No parenting doesn't stop
But it was a choice still
Life doesn't stop it keeps going regardless of how you feel or what you do
Play victim all you want
@@RCenalit’s you playing victim. Enjoy your forever choice and don’t worry about those of us who made the opposite choice. I don’t want to do anything one thing forever. I love seeing me a happy family but it’s not for everyone. Some of us might be out here to be future foster mothers or adopt later in life, or just be around to be “the village” to support the masses of single mothers out there whose men didn’t stick around to raise the kids. My life doesn’t have less value just coz you feel you’re doing something more important than me. And let’s face it, fathers do a fraction of the raising of kids as the mothers do.
@@geenhern wouldn’t it be good that those women are choosing to not have children then? If they enjoy sleeping in, spending money, traveling and etc, wouldn’t that be good for them to not irresponsibly bring another person into this world?
It's hard. But It's rewarding
Modern women is such a crazy term. Why don’t we refer to any man who is not in the trades or not married by 30 as a modern man?
@@Tresdrole123 because of the double standard. Women are to blame for all of society's problems and men are the victims.
@@Tresdrole123 it’s also hilarious when you see that these self proclaimed traditional men actually can’t handle a traditional woman. They’ll say women are gold diggers and shallow if they want them to make money and be strong. But they’re the ones saying they’re going to be providers and protectors 😭
The term 'modern man' is used plenty.
@ only with positive connotations, along with imagines of human evolution phases. The term modern women has connotations of misogyny, so I asked in jest why we don’t use the term modern men as one that is misandrist?
Men generally have never changed since society in the west is still being maintained and functioning. Men understand duty. Men can't pick and choose like women do, Men also don't have safety next so Men are an will continue to just be Men.
It’s mostly other women shaming childless unmarried women for their choices. I think it’s jealousy. I do not want kids. And that renders marriage pointless for me. I am 41, and enjoy moving around a lot, switching things up, changing locations etc. can’t do that with a family to be responsible for. I choose freedom for myself. I see single mothers everywhere pushing prams with screaming autistic kids, this is the norm. It’s more common than a happy nuclear family these days. I choose to never be a single mother. I was raised by one, it looked hard and my mother didn’t enjoy it. She’s resented me for it forever. This is the reality. Women cannot depend on men to stick around to raise a family. So some women opt of of the game. Why does this upset so many people? You worried about the lack of future tax payers? How does it effect anyone other than the person who made the choice to not have kids?
Right! I will never let someone guilt trip me into having kids! I want zero chance of becoming a single mother. We as a society already have to struggle financially and they push having kids as if that’s going to lighten the burden and come at a free cost. Also Not every woman is going to be able to be a stay at home mother with a good man that respects her and WANTS to provide for her and the kids. I would rather regret not having kids rather than birth them and resent them and make their lives hell.
Men aren’t dependable which is why they literally have laws set up that hold men accountable for their children. They don’t want children they want the orgasms.
@peanutboxes4076 also think about the good reason for having a child.
It's more like once women have kids, they realize how silly they were chasing a career. So they try and tell other women. Women initiate 80% of breakups and divorces, it's women that don't stick around.
@peanutboxes4076 I had a comment here but I guess youtube deleted it but I understand 💯 no one will ever guilt trip me into having kids. I would rather regret never having them than regret and resent them once born.
I see alot of dogs in strollers now, thats crazy😂
Nasty lol
I absolutely agree with her on the extended family separation. I grew up in central Asia with a big extended family, being around the entire family taught me different values and beliefs. I miss my extended family members 😢 ❤
You guys failed to address some very basic practical issues. Most families can’t survive on one income, there’s no federally mandated maternity leave, and childcare costs are astronomical.
Theres no benefit to having children anymore, its just not worth the heartache and disappointment. Live your life on your own terms. Our society is no longer set up for raising kids unless your wealthy. And they usually hire someone else to raise them.
The family is the forgotten pattern that binds society together. The mother-father-child bond, each person holding to their direct relatives, those who created them and those whom they created, connects every human being to every other human being. If mother, father or child are not considered a necessary duty, then no one is obligated to anyone, and no one is entitled to anyone.
I am 60 and you are right, it began, before you were born. Around the 70s. And it was not money, the women "freed" themselves. Now they are mostly unhappy childless old women.
@@michaelhuber8638 And they're trying to sabotage younger women.
Pop Freud was still strong in that time, so mommy was responsible for all the ills of the world. Why subject yourself to ever-changing and malicious judgment?.
Population fanatics pushed the idea of children as an assault on the earth, something educated people devoutly believed. Funny, this didn't apply to immigration.
Women were not trained for the independence needed to run a household. School rewards passivity.
I'm a very happy childless woman.Enough with the lie that childless women are unhappy.
@@michaelhuber8638 And plenty of them are sabotaging younger women.
@@maddiefanzieglerfan6214The exception does not disprove the rule
People can barely afford to take care of themselves at this point. Have you seen the video of an entire family living in a 1 bedroom? Benefits, groceries, housing etc are unattainable for one person in some cases. It's not just feminism. It's the current state of affairs.
Critics will always point to times where 5 kids lived in one unsanitary mud hut, then say that economics has zero influence.
It fails to ask how many of those 5 kids were wanted, agreed to, or raised with proper care.
Oh em gee! Did you see the big scary video that said how living in a dirty, overpopulated, corrupt urban area makes it hard to own a home and buy food?! 🤣🤣🤣
Maybe some women don’t want to be mothers the same way some men don’t want to be fathers.
I hear more and more people say they do not want kids because they way things are in the world today. This just makes the way things are worse. People need to be brave and take back the world from the chaos.
@@kevingonzalez3673 facts on facts.
easier said than done⁉
@@HishamMahmudinOCyet some of us are actually trying. Really sick of the hopeless narrative.
@@HishamMahmudinOC true
@@geenhern there are relatively normal people out there. Seek and find them.
Some women just don't want kids 🤷♀️
~10%
Then those women aren't entitled to a man's protection or resources. If anything, leave men alone that do won't children
@uncannytheos2454 I married a good, gentle, kind man who protects me 🥰🥰.
I argue that the problem of social conservatism is that it decides that if something is good for the masses, all must do it. It then turns the misfits into square pegs hammered in round holes. The misfits rise up, then make the world crap for the normies.
I do not know if there will ever be a balance which has norms, but also has enough space for the outliers.
@@uncannytheos2454 why would a woman or man who doesn’t want kids chase after the ones who have them?
Women stayed home to raise children, men went off to battle. But for some reason, we don't talk about the decline in male military enlistment as a cause for concern.
Because major wars aren't happening right now ,also men are still put in draft in order to be able to vote whearas a women doesn't even have to in many countries. Don't try to spout feminist anti truths for your own benefit.
And women stayed home because they are weak and incapable fighting wars they aren't brave or are capable to digest the brutalities of war in general. On of top that women like ya'll have audacity to not be thankful if men who sacrificed themselves so that you don't have to and even if given the chance most of you won't draft yourself to the war.
I’m currently in the Army. It is the softest most pathetic shit ever. Our entire military is structured to cater and incentivize women.
Why are they skipping motherhood? Perhaps it has something to do with the growing number of couples with children who now declare that rushing to have children was the biggest mistake they made. It makes you wonder why those who do have grown children are now telling them not rush to have children.
It's better not to have children than having to live with the regrets down the road when reality kicks in. I know because I come into contact with many couples who chose not to have children and they all say the same thing..not having children was the best decision they made and one they don't regret.
The ONLY people that regret not having children are the fence-sitters (childless)
I've known since I was 10 years old that I never wanted children and usually with that self-awareness, there are no regrets.
@@savagesweetheart90Your unborn will never experience any suffering on this random floating rock of disgusting pathogens, natural disasters, diseases, illnesses, wage slavery, government tyranny, and suffering!
I love how he wants to bring up the Bible and what the Bible says about having kids, but not once does he bring up with Bible says about being married first
not once does he bring up the fact about what it says about marriage and how men are supposed to love their wives like Christ love the church.
Christ died for the church,
and he never brings up the fact that it says what it says in the Bible about women being submissive either he doesn’t bring up marriage.
He just brings up the kid part but you can’t have one without the other according to the Bible so let’s not just bring up half of it.
Or the apostle Paul who is unmarried and childless, seems they skip over that too 🤔
I can’t get enough of hearing childless, wealthy 30/40-something, unmarried podcast bros talk about this 😂
@@LadyMarigoldWithers those so called childless 30-40 something unmarried bros will get married someday.
@ Or not. And having children late - yes, I mean for men, it's not just an issue for women - also isn't great.
@@joane24 having kids late is more an issue for women than men because of the biological clock
@c.f.okonta8815 I didn't says it isn't _more_ of an issue for a woman. I said it's _also_ an issue for men. Some people forget that and think it's no problem at all.
@c.f.okonta8815 Btw,.men have biological clock too. We _all_ are getting older and our fertility and the quality thereof is decreasing, not just for women (more drastically), but for men _as well._
Then, raising kids as you're older has also its share of difficulties.
I cant think of a life I’d rather live than the one I live with my son, but I also have a lot of help. If I didn’t have help I couldn’t be a “good” mother so I can imagine why women who know they don’t have a tribe would say “I’m good on that.”
Please just let it go. It's obvious that parenthood is not meant for everyone. It's a personal choice and I'm sick of people trying to push others to have kids when they don't want to and they're not going to. Let them be. It's not for you to decide. Get over it.
No, this is a real issue and a real crisis. It needs to be talked about more, not "let go". World population depends on it.
@chestergloyd7530 Nothing lasts forever.
@@sonicleaves good one. Be miserable on your own.
@@chestergloyd7530the world doesn’t need this many people! We’d be fine with 1 billion people. Do you guys not realize how much we consume as humans? The pollution, the trash, ending the lives of different species. Yes I get it your body is telling you to reproduce but there’s a reason you have a brain. It’s to weigh the pros and cons of your actions!!!
@@chestergloyd7530 oh calm down. There will always be people breeding on earth, there will never be a future without human beings.
Either that, or masses were only having kids due to "Go forth and multiply or burn in hell" sermons, and resented the kids they did have.
The economy is a major factor and in my case experiencing repeated abuse by men since I was a child made me not want to be a mom.
Understandable but unfortunate.
@ thank you for responding and understanding. I see a lot of commentary where populating the planet falls onto women only where a great number of us would have had families by now had we been able to find men who didn’t abandon us at the first sign of conflict, much less a pregnancy (which the latter has happened to me and many other women in my social circle). I would love to see dialogue where women wanting to skip motherhood isn’t viewed as a selfish, immature, or trendy act.
25/F. Always thought I would have children, but as the child of immigrant parents who own nothing, so still struggle with finances and need me and my siblings' support, I find it scary. I am working class and view education and a career as the single way to break past the generational poverty. I work 50 hours a week and study part time for my master's, whilst still taking part in projects to improve my employability and earn extra to save. I live in a box because that's what I can afford - I earn just below average for my age. I'm not entirely sure that having a child would be a good idea.
I have also never met a man who seemed a good enough prospect to build a life with. Most men my age seem more interested in things that are short-lived and casual relationships. We just wouldn't align... I think that is also a common theme. Women are not able to meet the right man.
@ you’re still young you totally have time to have a family! And you sound amazing, I hope you do 💕
I just brought this up with my wife. I think we're looking back on the 1950's as this golden era to return to when it was actually only ever a transitional period into what we have now. That's not the model we should be trying to emulate.
I'm personally convinced the modern welfare state, particularly SS is largely responsible for the breakdown in multigenerational living. We moved the responsibility for taking care of the elderly from the elderly people's kids to everyone's kids. It gave the illusion of independence, and created a tragedy of the commons.
If you know you're going to need your kids to support you when you get old, you make sure you have kids and that they get good educations. When you think someone else's kids are going to make a credit transfer to support you, you lose that motivation to do it yourself.
@The430philosopher sure, but there's also this culture now of rights and not of obligations. People will scoff at you for assuming that your children should have an obligation to take care of you when you're old. No one is obligated to do anything. Everyone has rights and they must be given to you by government.
US 1950 were a terribly unfair outlier. Our mothers always had to work and juggle second shift at home, men were either traumatized drunks or nonexistent because of WW2. The amount of DV and toxicity resonates throughout society to this day. You had it unfairly great and should not look back at that like at something normal.
@@adararelgnel2695The government can't give you rights, it has never done so and has only taken them away. Rights come from God
Really? So you will have more kids so that they take care you? Do you think it is easy to get jobs today? Making money, finding education, healthcare are all cheap for you?
@@manifest2203 we've created an unsustainable system where the incentive structure works against family formation. That's what the people in the video are saying. That's what I'm saying. We've drifted away from traditions and practices that necessity forced on us, and replaced them with ill advised policies, stop gaps, that are not sustainable. The path back is going to be painful. There's no easy way to extract ourselves from the current dynamic.
Geez, it's almost too complicated to sum up in a comment. Everything works in tandem. Industrialization-driven shifts toward centralized production and collective solutions has created a feedback loop of dependency, rising costs, and diminished personal responsibility. This loop, reinforced by democratic incentives, makes modern lifestyles unsustainable by discouraging reproduction and limiting individual freedom to escape or innovate alternatives.
As a successful man im not having kids or a family. It just doesn't make sense ALSO why have more responsibilities?? I already have employees and my day job to worry about 🤷🏾
....it's because of economics. Simple. I literally have spent thousands on just medical costs so far having my son. Thousands. For basic prenatal care and delivery. 🙄 And our insurance is considered good in dystopian U.S. landscape. Give me a break. This conversation reaks of ignorance and delusion about the real reasons women skip motherhood these days.
It sounds like the "You could afford a house if you did not buy Starbucks, Netflix, and avocado toast" non-arguments.
I understand that it isn't 100% economic, but to act as if the economy can keep getting shittier for the commoner everyday and not have people opt out of kids because of it is absurd.
No its because most women are captured by anti human feminist movement, which is a weapon designed to reduce human population. The impact to the economy is a self inflicted side effect of rich billionaires funding feminism so they can have more workers, its women fault the economy is so screwed. All women should quit thier jobs and get married, and watch the economy bounce back to a certain degree. But you won't, so enjoy the slow burn towards extinction.
There are a few reasons why people don't want to have kids
It doesn't matter the reason
Its still a choice not a requirement
@@skylinefeverespecially when the overarching social standards remain those of boomer times and, not, say, medieval peasants (which some commenter, apparently angry that women won't breed with him, really used as an example of hey, you don't need money to raise lots of kids). Very, very few people raised in a first world or even poor but above starvation level developing country (I live in Ukraine for example) will happily, at a young age, while bright and beautiful, just give up on all social standards and give themselves to a working class man who expects them to pop out and raise kids to medieval or even Great Depression standards. Nobody besides deranged cultists wants to live without decent house, education, food, clothes, nor will threatening "if you don't make kids with me, society will collapse!" work as a pickup line.
Some of us examine our temperament, our likes and dislikes, our ambitions, our interests, and decide we'd be bad mothers so why do it and destroy ourselves and put a child at risk. The Every Woman Must Have Babies crowd has a fit over this. They are trying to rob us of that choice but we've been through this before and will find a way to protect our rights again.
They literally want women to breed like cattle regardless of if they’d be good mothers or not. They don’t really care about the children they only care about themselves and their roles. If women don’t want children then men will have nothing to give women and that makes them absolute.
The problem for women isn't that they're not paid a wage for housekeeping and care of a baby. The problem is that they're NOT APPRECIATED for it. They're told by society their effort and labor is worth less because they don't bring actual money in.
I also found that American people are much more focused on and prioritizing money above anything else, including education or social status/class.
Women were indoctrinated by other women.
Literally no one has ever said that. Most people greatly appreciate it.
Some people are so against motherhood, they are literally trying to force women to put their children in childcare rather than support them to find better ways to ensure proper nurturing, education, and bonding with the child….early childhood education didn’t always exist and hasn’t necessarily made kids smarter or more equipped
The thing that suck most about the modern time of child raising is the grandmothers are self involved and do not help with the kids at all. But they have their hands out for money and also say don’t put me in an old folks home. My thoughts; if grandparents are not helping us, we can’t help the grandparents, raise kids, and work a full time job. Kids will always come first!
I grew up in Toronto and yeah, if one isn't talking about immigrants from more traditional cultures, then definitely most boomers, though now at 'grandparents' age, don't want to fulfill any of the roles their parents did when they reached that age. Yet they also expect their kids to look after them (when they offshored jobs to benefit their RRSPs and mutual funds, and when they demand the government enact all kinds of policies, including mass migration, to keep the prices of their housing investments going up eternally).
I am a young woman so I’ll give my opinion. The reason why women have to strive for a good education and career is because this allows us to not have to be subjugated to a man who may be abusive or may leave us for a younger model. Also, most men can’t afford a household on their own, so women NEED to work most often.
The issue also is that even when women work and bring home an income, she is stuck doing most child rearing and household chores.
And some women AND men have decided that children simply aren’t for them. That is much better than bringing children into the world knowing that one doesn’t have the desire or aptitude for them.
Wow! the most privileged group demographic in History! life isnt Free or easy! wear a helmet! and most men contribute a Far greater share of the financial chores and paying off debt!
My older sister is well into her 60s, now. Her greatest joy and what gives her life meaning is her extended family. Sons, daughters, grandsons and granddaughters. The women who are foregoing that are denying their own nature, and will likely be sad and/or bitter (like now, only more so) as they age.
Are we denying our nature? Or are we actually for a brief moment in human history actually able to choose what we really want? Some of us anyway. As there are millions of women still today who have the choice taken from them
That is not true at all. Not all wmn want chldrn. A lot of wmn get put off.
That also assumes nobody ever resented the kids they do have.
@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm in 90% of cases you are indeed denying your nature & doing what toxic feminism tells you to do. Take it from another female who used to buy into that nonsense but then started actually thinking for herself. Btw I'm still going for a career, but given that it's teaching/education I'd say my heart is on how I contribute to society & impact kids lives, not money money & more money
Also, you likely live in America or another western nation, so yes you definitely have more rights than a woman in Saudia Arabia, but you take them for granted.
@@skylinefeversounds like you need therapy for mommy/daddy issues. They shouldn't have treated you that way if they did resent you, but if you don't move past it it'll chain you forever. Again, speaking from experience.
I work 50-60 hours a week and when I'm home I'm 100% focused on my kiddos. My wife hired a nanny and when she gets home she sits on her phone for hours while the kiddos beg for her attention.
And yet you stay knowing this hurts you and the children. So you're both wrong.
thus proving that females aren't necessarily maternal just because they are female.
@@greyfoxice you should have had this conversation BEFORE you got married. Not everyone wants to be a mom. Can't hurt her for that. Plenty of women who WANT that job. You picked wrong. Not her fault.
@@s.e.studios1386They should be.
@LaitoChen it most definitely is her fault. She's a narcissist.
These conversations are vitally important.
Thanks 🙏🏾
The observed truth is that it is incredibly expensive to live in a modern world without 2 incomes. So having children absolutely becomes an economic consideration that folks need to make, along with a spiritual one if that's your thing.
People, in general, have lived the majority of their lives in relative excess without children, and you just cant un-live that experience. It's a sugar hit that sadly many people don't want to water down.
Societies pressure and expectation to live the good life, which often means, to live in excess, is overly valued and quite frankly, false economy.
" it is incredibly expensive to live in a modern world without 2 incomes"
Have you considered why this is? I have proof that it is not.
@@sdrc92126 Sure. Cost of housing, utilities, inflation, interest rates, wage growth, cost of education, health. It's right there in the Consumer Price Index (CPI).
The material point is, the vast majority of people have to consider the economic impact of having a child.
But I'm totally interested in seeing your proof that I'm sure is totally not anecdotal.
Woman have to work now to make ends meet. You cannot expect women to work full time and come home and be a full-time wife and mother.
Exactly!
I'm going to make it work, because personally I don't use the fact that I am female as an excuse to act like a victim. Life is hard no matter who you are or what you choose, get over it.
@@geenhern take it from people who lived it. It’s not that easy. Forever is a long time.
Women chose this economic situation. By women entering the workforce in mass the economy adapted to the increase of the available workers now women have to work to support their family.
@observerealityinhd290 The Federal Reserve devalued the dollar so women were forced into the workforce to make ends meet.
8:29 finally someone on the conservative side speaks about the importance of extended family
Parenting was made void when fathers were pushed out.
Everything else is a made bed
I just know you’re a Black man and this is embarrassing. 🙈
The role of airlines in the drop in birth rates is too often overlooked. Allowing them to travel along with the other passengers, rather than containing them in dedicated family spaces, has done tremendous damage to the reputation of children.
How
I don’t mind travelling with kids. I just get noise cancelling headphones and speak up if they kick the back of my seat. Other than that idc
I don't think anyone argued for the nuclear family to the exclusion of the extended family. When people moved from the country to the city or suburbs after WWII, they were of course also leaving extended family. Nuclear family is better than a broken family, but bring back the extended family would be great for everyone but assisted care facilities.
Not to worry. It will all sort itself out in 80 years.
Father of a 16 month old. It's the greatest thing ever.
Yes because you didn't have to carry it and birth it.
@AlyssaIrvine so real talk. My wife has wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world. We went through IVF and were lucky to have a successful, healthy pregnancy. My wife loves that baby more than anything in the world, and I feel the same way. I'm not sure why you have negative feelings about our situation when we both willfully went into this. And, babies are not "it". They're humans. What you said is dehumanizing and I'm sorry you don't have love in your heart.
Birth control pills play a HUGE role in attraction which is another reason why we have childless women. Plus, if the body thinks its pregnant all the time: Why would any woman want kids?
3:11 as a young mom. I hear what you’re saying. But it’s really hard choosing to be a mom. Clearly motherhood is a lot of work. But you’re almost punished now a days for choosing to be a mother. It’s crazy.
life changed; women choices were limited, and everything was predetermined for them unlike now
and let's be honest it's not easy thing to be a father or mother and not worth it for many people
Love how she says the 50s was just an aversion. For most of history, the men had to go out and do crap jobs, fight the wars, hunt for food, while the women maintained the homestead albeit local culture as well.
I’m sorry, but I have it made. I do not “have” to stay home. I do not “have” to take care of our children. I do not “have” to make their breakfast, lunch and dinners.
I get to.
Perspective is EVERYTHING. I get to love my husband so he can provide for us because he wants to. I get to spend all day with our children, because that was our mutual decision. And when I have a hard day with them, he takes one look at me when he gets home and no questions asked he taps me out. I do the same for him.
We need better role models for our kids. Not all this brokenness that makes them hate the home and family.
Although the extended family is important, the only way to have any connection to the extended family is through a healthy relationship between the father and mother. So no matter how you see it the father and mother have to be together or the extended family doesn't coexist with either. Also these days woman that have children out of a relationship or marriage expect the grandparents to care for the child 90% of the time even though it isn't the grandparents responsibility.
The planet is not hurting for people.
If women don't have kids don't worry you'll be fine it won't affect you , live "your" own life
10 000 years and ... we're done.
It doesn’t help when everyone in your town is too confused about their genders to settle down.
Whos town?
Ain’t no going back now. This will only continue and get worse
Abortion went from being viewed as rare but necessary to the default thought to women when a pregnancy occurs.
very sad for kids being born today.
@@Ap_twsh It will be interesting to see if after abortion bans, kids end up like they did in communist Romania.
No. Abortion numbers peaked in 1991 and fell by more than half from 1981-2017. The numbers always fell faster during Democratic administrations.
They have been up since then but still far below historic levels.
Vasectomy appointments increased by 1200%. Mn shld stop this and be willing to fthr a chld everytime they have smex and be willing to provide for that chld.
It's not the "default thought" for women when pregnancy occurs. Most pregnancies are still very much wanted.
Ah zoob! Youve fallen out of my recommendations laterly for some reason. Glad youve come back around!
Maybe because its a choice instead of an obligation.
Also, if you want kids so bad have more or go adopt one of the millions that are in the foster care system and just leave the people (men and women) who don't want any children the f**k alone.
Live and let live, easy right?
They don’t care about those kids in foster care. It’s about controlling women
“Women spend more” yes we do, on what tho? On things for the FAMILY, not themselves. Who is stocking your house full of the things you love? The woman. And on the point of putting a value on housework and raising a family. Yes women need to be recognized for doing the hardest job on earth, raising new human beings! Men can’t fathom the sacrifice women make to raise the kids and keep a man happy. Women feel under appreciated and taken advantage of, thus divorce. Gina is spot on with us needing a community to raise the children, a mom by herself at home is lonely and depressing with no extended familial help, it’s a losing battle. And zuby you def have heard and seen the trad wives online, we all see it. It’s almost nauseating how fake they are
That corporate job won't be with you at the end, (especially if it's not a skill position) and from what I've learned and been told, it's extremely hard to make good friends as an older retirement age adult. Doesn't mean if you have a family they'll always be around, but it helps a lot of people feel happiness, and promotes positive mental health for seniors, especially if you're the catalyst that got your family there. The whole "rich aunt" thing isn't the flex people think it is either because it's already been found that it actually creates more family division in most cases.
But women shouldn’t be prioritising men at all. Decentering men is the best thing any woman can do. Even getting with high value men is rarely worth it. It brings its own set of headaches, problems and control. But the competition for these men is so high and not worth the effort when the chance of success is low and after getting him, he is even more insufferable. Investing in herself with all her time and effort will give her far more rewards later on. Nothing is worth more than freedom.
If a woman wants marriage and kids, she should play the field and then get with an average man when she wants to settle, but still be cautious about everything while in the relationship and not baby him. If a woman wants only a child, there are options for that too. In any case, the woman should have fewer kids later in life. But always, always prioritise lifetime financial stability and security above all else. Ofcourse being child free by choice and single is the best thing if she wants the best quality of life.
Money invested and managed will take care of you through goods and services bought. You think a state run facility is going to be great? People get dumped off in homes all the time and have families. No guarantees.
@@AlyssaIrvine You're right, but I'm not talking about having kids for the sake of them taking care of you. If you do that, that means you failed somewhere along the way. I'm talking about the emotional gratitude it provides, which has already been found to be a major boost. Grandparents wildly live longer and are more fulfilled. Also most people have no real legitimate retirement because most people are financially inept.
@@manifest2203 Nothing is worth more than freedom is something I agree with. But you're not talking about freedom, you're talking about isolation, which literally causes people to die sooner. On top of that, saying a woman should just settle with an average man just because, it 1. Not fair to that man who may be putting in his all and 2. Not fair to those kids, who could easily become disillusioned with you should they find that out. Sounds like you want nothing to do with anyone which is more than fine.
@ wmn are usually better in nurturing othr reltionships. Wmn shld focus on that instead of mn.
There's another, simpler, answer. Being a parent is just like anything else. It's something some people want, and others don't. There is nothing in life that every single person on this Earth was meant to do. It's absolutely insane that being a parent somehow is that one thing that everyone is supposed to want to do. If that's the case, then we might as well apply that to lots of other things. Now that being a parent feels more like an option than a requirement, people who want to do it do it, and people who don't want to, don't. The only people I've ever seen have a problem with this are people who regret having children and they are envious of those who were more responsible in their choices.
The people who have a problem with this are also feel intimidated by free women, and or need future cogs to exploit for their own gain.
It starts to make sense that the story of humans start off with Eve not being content with paradise and getting all of us kicked out for her own selfish desires 😂😂😭 story as old as time
The 400 plus year history of North America is of the nuclear family and pioneers in a mostly empty wilderness. Since the Second World War, we've simply found that moving around for economic advantage is the route to prosperity. Most applaud this environment but the result is the fracturing of the extended family.
If the older generations (who hold most of the wealth and real estate in North America) are mad about their kids moving far away, then they shouldn't have created an economy where making a living is only possible by migrating far and wide.
Breeders are wannabee gods reenacting their cultures' creation stories. Kids playing with fire.
Of all the gods I've ever heard of throughout the years none of them inspire the flattery of imitation, at least for me.
God blessed women with the pain of childbirth so that they can continue to create more sin for christ in a world ruled by Satan.... 😍😍😍 so loving.
Viewing children as an economic unit? That's a new take on the issue, well done Gina (I think that's her name).
"We've become consumers with a C"
I see what you did there. 😅😂
It think it exposes the myth of woman being nurturing, compassionate, and altruistic.
Then you can form your own little tribe only of men , no women involved, and see how well that works out for you.
I have zero maternal instincts
No we arent getting paid.
Women pay men to pay women.
This world is stupid.
Oh yes, a lot of them are skipping motherhood, after their kids are born. Deadbeat is now an gender equal shared description .
Many narcissists / narc mentality among the boomers. What kind of family do narcissists make???? Ptoblem started w the boomer generation
Yes. Especially the economic conditions now (offshoring of jobs...helps boomer stocks and mutual funds...mass migration for cheap labor -- hurts young workers, benefits old investors and executives...high prices for housing, shored up by the policies of governments eager for boomer votes -- Canada is the best example here). They, as the managers and CEOs, also were the ones who decided that the entry level office job which they got with a high school diploma and a handshake now requires university degrees (for which they'll chide the young about getting into student debt), unpaid internships, 'experience' noone gives the chance to get, etc. And, at the end of the day, they'll still complain about how their kids aren't married yet, don't have families yet, haven't bought houses yet....
You have a chance to have one if not several of the best relationships of your life. I just don't get how these people throw that away with vitriol.
Zuby's speech cadence reminds me of Candace Owens.
Even if more women wanted to become moms...one cannot act like raising a family does not cost anything.One cannot pay,rent,bills and put food on the table with thin air.Women and girls shoukd have the right to be parents or not.If a woman wants to be a mom..she should get respect.Motherhood is important.But if a woman do not want kids..that shoukd be respected.On grandma and grandpa helping out...a lot of baby boomers work to make end meet.A loy of older adults work so the babysitting in going to be limited.People shoukd respect people who want their own kids but childfree people need to be respected too.
Nope no respect given. I respect sacrifice.
I wouldn’t say everyone was born of a woman but came in the world through a women
Congrats! The guest was was a dedicated feminist Soldier and instrumental in the decline 👏