Surrendering to the Process of Recovery From Overeating
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2024
- SURRENDERING TO THE PROCESS OF BINGE EATING RECOVERY
#surrender #foodfreedom #bingeeating
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Today, let's delve into the concept of surrender in the context of recovering from binge eating. You might be puzzled, wondering how surrender ties into overcoming binge eating. Traditionally, surrender implies yielding to an opponent or submitting to authority, which may not seem appealing or relevant to recovery. On the other hand, some discuss surrender in spiritual terms, often related to submitting to a higher power. However, I want to explore a practical perspective on surrender, its meaning, potential benefits, and the barriers hindering us from embracing it.
Consider the analogy: a woman caught in turbulent waves, struggling for breath. After exhaustive attempts to fight the waves, she decides to surrender. Surprisingly, when she stops resisting, the waves lift her to the surface. Surrender here is not passive resignation; it's a dynamic shift, a conscious decision to stop fighting against forces beyond control. This is distinct from giving up, which carries a sense of defeat, despair, and misery. Surrender, on the other hand, can offer freedom and peace as we cease resistance to what we cannot control.
In the context of binge eating recovery, surrender conserves energy. Much like the woman in the waves, when we stop fighting against our emotions and compulsions, we gain clarity and resilience to manage them effectively. Surrender reduces emotional reactivity, curbing catastrophic thinking and guiding our focus, intention, and effort.
Despite these potential benefits, surrender seems elusive for many. The barriers include self-blame, the belief that we should have done things differently, a perception that surrender is only possible when you can't win the battle, and a moral conviction that continuing the fight is the right thing. Impatience can also hinder surrender, fueled by a desire for instant recovery and a mindset that postpones life until reaching a certain state.
To overcome these barriers, consider surrendering to the present moment and working with life rather than against it. Recognize that some things are beyond control, including our behaviors. Eckhart Tolle suggests accepting each moment as if you had chosen it, transforming your approach to life.
Recovery doesn't have to be a constant fight. By addressing the barriers to surrender, we can cultivate a mindset that embraces the here and now. Life is a delicate balance between the external world and our internal struggles. My approach aims to create order within, empowering us to navigate external chaos.
I’m 65 and I did find you and you are always spot on. Those of us from diet culture for 30 years are tired and you give us permission to surrender.
❤️❤️❤️
I really appreciate all your videos and the gentle, kind way you approach binge eating and recover and ppl living through it. And I esp. appreciate the example you are setting: as sb studying counselling I had this really strong sense of guilt and anger at myself, this "I, of all people, really SHOULD HAVE known better than to fall into BE disorder..." Finding your channel helped a lot with that. So just... Thank you, for all you do.
Sarah your presentations are wonderful Your voice - the tone, volume, and pace - is so calming that it makes it easier to focus on the message. Thank you for providing this valuable content to all of us who struggle. (PS I'll be 70 in a few months.)
I agree with her presentation and content! I'll be 70 in April. Definitely grew up with diet culture.
I'm 57 and as you say, I'm mentally and physically exhausted from decades of hating my body and trying to keep it as small as I can. I have neurodiversity and chronic illness issues so self care can be challenging. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable in my larger body but my daily life is easier when I allow myself to eat carbs.
I’m so happy I found you. I’m 75 and it has been a long battle! I’m recovering and no fighting myself. Thank you❤️
Surrendering is very calming!
Sarah, This is a great commentary on surrender, and as a member of a 12 step group for over 30 years, probably the best exposition on the concept I've ever heard! Thank you, sincerely. I am very grateful for your videos as they are so insightful and match well the evolution of my thinking over a lifetime of working on this issue. Since I live in the U.S., I can't get to your workshops but sure wish I could, I've purchased your book and saved many of your videos. I am so so grateful to you for putting this material out for all of us.
So happy I found your channel. It reinforces what I have learned in alanon and Eating Disorders Anonymous. The writer Mary O’Malley talks about surrendering the bubble of struggle. I love her book The Gift of Our Compulsions. Yes, I’m 65 and am tired of the struggle. I very rarely binge after being in recovery for 10 years. It’s the compulsive food thoughts and extra snacking that trouble me. Thank you for all you do I look forward to watching more of your videos. I enjoyed a couple of your meditations. Perhaps some time you could record a 30 minute meditation with plod silence included. ❤
I love all your videos and this is the best yet! Absolutely nailed it. ❤
Informing practise through personal experience is a wonderful gift. I applaud your approach and your willingness to share your thinking - your videos are helping me address my relationship with myself and food - thank you.🙏
I'm so glad I found you. God bless you. I'm in Vancouver Washington USA
Thank you so much for your time and wisdom. I understand this to mean it is healthy to surrender to the here and now. This is our situation. It is what it is. Be peaceful and accept it. Then we can look to make changes from a place of peace and calm rather than from a place of “thrashing about”
Dear Sarah
Thanks to you and your online group therapy sessions I have spent months in the recovered state now. I am currently lying in bed in a state of craving for emotional comfort from food after a nice dinner but am not putting up a fight and just relaxing while listening to your videos.
Hey Adi, good to hear from you. I am so glad you are doing well ❤️
Your content is amazing Sarah! Very helpful 👌
I love your videos ❤
Thank you
You're a genius, for real
Thank you! That’s super kind ❤❤
Yup. Some folks have a way of putting concepts and their insight together to present information in such a clear and impactful way. It's a pretty rare thing, in my opinion.
This isn't related exactly to the video, but the drowning thing reminded me of this advice.
If you get caught in a riptide, do not fight the waves. You will lose. Riptides travel parallel to the shore. Relax, float with it until it dissipates, then swim to shore. You might be miles from where you started, but you'll be alive.
Also, with riptides, you can usually swim sideways (not against) and release yourself from it pretty quickly and they are generally not that wide!
@TheBingeEatingTherapist more people need to know this. I grew up near the water. There's almost always 1 every tourist season 😭
When I try to accept my feelings (nervousness is hard for me) I sometimes fall into the trap of trying really hard to accept it in order to get rid of it asap and I am basically fighting with it overthinking and monitoring if it's already gone then being even more anxious and so on. After some time I realise what I am doing feeling exhausted and finally surrender.
So relatable. I definitely do this!
Sarah, I cannot thank you enough for your incredible content, it’s so inspiring to know that there are people who get it! Wanted to share the fact that I’ve just had a very unhelpful conversation with my GP, in situation where weight loss is important due to health concerns - tried to explain that diets perpetuate binge eating, but told to eat fruit instead of high sugar snacks when I want to binge!!! - and possible referral for ‘healthy eating advice’……I couldn’t keep my cool…. Do you have a video that I could share with my GP surgery that can eloquently explain the complexities of this relationship with food/self - It’s so frustrating that healthcare services are just clueless! Thank you x
I have this post that may be helpful:
instagram.com/p/CXZBvyBsoOE/?igsh=MW13dnNlMng5MGR1cQ==
Thank you for this Sarah, really helpful information. Have follow up appointment soon - shall be more prepared this time round. Love and light ❤x
I totally understand this in the context of body acceptance. I find it hard to understand in the context of urges and the process of recovery though. I feel like when I get the urge to binge, then the healthy part of myself has to battle with the urge and keep recommitting myself to using skills, otherwise I’ll just binge and stay in my ED. I don’t know how to seperate the idea of surrender, from just giving into the urges and using it as an excuse to engage in my ED.
Do you understand what triggers your binge urges? If it’s from the primal brain and based in restriction or fear of, then battling with it will most often take you into the binge. Most people need to learn to calm their primal brains and nervous systems before they can ride out any remaining urges. Apologies if this isn’t helpful, I don’t know where you are in this process
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist I don't really know where I am in the process either as I feel like I have been saying I'm trying to recover since I developed my eating disorder, with varying levels of commitment 😂! I definitely think that restriction and the desire to avoid uncomfortable feelings are the main triggers for me to binge though. I think maybe my experience is just different than most peoples. I think that for me the battle and conflict is my healthy self standing up against the ED, and actually gives me the best chance of success. Without it I tend to just go with the disordered urge which takes me further away from recovery.
If surrendering means accepting my body as morbidly obese , then I can’t . There has to be another solution
This is a philosophy about surrendering to the here and now. It is not about accepting a future version of yourself. It’s offering the idea that if we can accept where we are right now, we free ourselves up to make changes that come from a clearer, calmer place. Carl Roger’s (one of psychotherapy’s founding fathers) is quoted as saying, “The paradox is that only when I accept myself, then I can change.”
Of course it may not resonate with everyone and I don’t want to present this as some kind of hard truth, the only way or something that you ‘should’ do❤️🩹
I often say to people, feel free to take whatever resonates in what I say and discard the rest
“Work with life, not against it” 💛💯🤌 Love this mindset! Thank you
Hi Sarah is this book available on Amazon Audio?
No, but you can watch/listen for free here: ruclips.net/video/Qr5qmQxiutw/видео.htmlsi=LvTDlJ3ciLrHI72p