STOP comparing yourself to others... 🫶

[@_random_fandom_9905]

I think the saddest part about this is that some people who have a really low value of themselves WOULD let people who they consider friends say this to them because they think they deserve the harshness

[@chai_lattes]

Exactly. Especially when you are legitimately going through a hard time and a friend you trust says "you're not trying hard enough". I definitely needed to get away from friends like that because that can really damage someone.
When we feel we don't deserve compassion is when we need it the most. Let's be kind to ourselves today❤

[@atkiaforyou]

That's literally me 😢

[@RileyTA846]

@@chai_lattesbut what do you do when someone has been dealing with the same problems for months and it genuinely is a mental blockage (like they are thinking of the situation in a way that makes them shut it down again and again) and youve tried to be gentle but theyre just not listening? i mean this question genuinely, i dont want to make anyone feel bad but after a while what should i say besides “you need to think of this fundamentally differently instead of sitting around waiting for it to change.” how does one say that in way that isnt harsh but still gets the point across?

[@chai_lattes]

@@RileyTA846 I couldn't really say since I'm not directly involved, but from my own experience, if someone is struggling for months or possibly years, it's usually a good indicator that something deeper is going on and that what they need is compassion, healing, and support first and foremost before even attempting any type of problem solving. It can definitely be frustrating to watch, but it can also be extremely scary, discouraging, and stressful for your friend who's going through it. If they've internalized a lot of harsh self-talk (I think it's safe to say many of us have just by being alive) and haven't had any resources or support to counterbalance those thoughts, for them, it's probably a daily, incessant, all-consuming running inner monologue telling them how they're not good enough, they're worthless, other people can do it why can't you? Obviously I can only speak from my own experience which may be completely different from your specific situation, so I'm not sure if any of this applies. It sounds like you really care. I wonder if maybe your standards or values differ from your friends? That's always important to consider because if you're coming from different places, even though your intentions are good, you could end up pushing someone beyond their boundaries and hurting them. I would just try to show them that you're there for them, don't judge them for being stuck or not being able to accomplish certain things according to a certain timeline. They know. Even as their friend, you may not know or understand the full extent of what they're going through. It's definitely tough. And if it's concerning something more serious like trauma or mental health like mine was, there may not be much you can do besides trying to lighten their load by treating them with respect and empathy or having fun together. Something to give them a break from the stress and remind them that there's more to life than just ABC and that their worth as a person is unchanging regardless of the season of life they're in. I wish I could help more. I hope you find a healthy balance that works for both of you❤

[@fairygodbrotherr]

yup. my first thought.

[@Sunflower_teacher]

This is what I told my students as well. Because I experience very low self esteem during my uni days. At that time, I compared myself a lot to others. This then leads to self hatred later on which heavily affects my mental health during my first year of working. I know that I am in a really bad place, mental wise, when I have a suicidal thought. I raised this issue to my parents, coming clean to them and from then onwards, I tried my best to my own best friend. It felt weird at first but now I can say, I am in an ok mental state compared to 5 years ago.

[@viscerallove792]

Congratulations! That is a wonderful accomplishment. Also, lucky to have parents you can go to them with that. Having said that, quite brave nonetheless! Thank you for sharing.

[@raameenkhan7629]

I can definitely relate; my self esteem has not been great since starting uni and now I’m in my first job ever and it’s affecting me there too. How did you get out of that mindset? Would love any tips or advice you can give!

[@Avaboogirl]

Omg I’m crying thank you so much for this I’ve struggled so much in my life with this and when I was only twelve years old I went through depression I’m so grateful for you❤

[@fishstixx9737]

This was the first exercise my therapist gave me when trying to break away from my negative thought process. It sounded ridiculous and didn't work at first, because I kept the category of myself v.s. my friends so separate. I would not allow my friends to be insulted, but when the question was turned back to me about how I'd let myself be treated, I kept accepting the insults.
It took a long time to realize that I also don't deserve to be treated badly.

[@milily]

I love this. Always hear this flipped around as “don’t say something you wouldn’t want others to say to you” and I guess it makes me feel like I’m less important compared to how others. Thanks for the reminder ❤

[@Zantooooo]

True
Ur mind can be ur biggest gift or biggest enemy. We gotta treat ourselves like someone we love ❤️

[@Im_What_The_Lion_Says]

This helped me so much. I’ve been battling everything all by myself because I’m to afraid to tell anyone. I’ve HEARD and have been told about people talking behind my back. I would always act unhurt, but it truly cut deep.

[@shiaannee]

I AGREEE
I find it hard not to compare myself to others😢. I used to be close friends with this person in school, and we used to be always have pretty close grades. But now she's the top of our class, and I'm just on top 5. I can't seem to stop asking myself, "How to be like her?, If she can do it why can't I?". And it sucks also because no matter how hard I try, it would never be enough.
Aside from all that, we aren't that close anymore like we used to as she's already so preoccupied with a lot of things. She has a new circle of friends, and doesn't talk to me that much anymore. It's also already hard to reach out to her and stuffs. And I'm not jealous of her grades, but also because she's literally almost perfect. Like she's pretty, she's hot, smart, talented, artistic, popular, she's everything. And me, I'm just a nobody, like always.

[@vcjpacada1513]

Oh wow this is actually a good advice🥺 Thank you❤
Personally way back in high school, I developed this mentality of “Don’t let yourself talk bad about yourself.” If you can’t or won’t tell other people what you’re telling yourself, then don’t let yourself tell yourself that.
I was sooo anxious about grades and getting into college back then specially that time I placed 11th overall in my grade… so I also told myself to “Learn how to look at the bright side even in the smallest things.”
Plus the definition of effort changed for me overtime too since for some people getting out of bed is already a big effort…

[@Im_What_The_Lion_Says]

This helped me so much. I’ve been battling everything all by myself because I’m to afraid to tell anyone.

[@tristoncantdraw]

Thank you for this video- currently learning to stop comparing myself to my friends who are bigger, experienced artists and are known for their creativity and work. (In comparison, I’m an amateur who started like 3 years ago) The only “viral” work i made was a short reel for fun, made in 10 minutes, while others like character and story related ones flopped. I grew jealous of my friends, going on long rants on my story, and even lashed out verbally at a few. I spend my time mostly alone, and built an unhealthy relationship to attention and feeling validated/appreciated on social media. I have a long way to go, but I’m determined to help those I hurt heal, and improve as a person.

[@Mypuddleiscranky]

Wow, thanks!! This is really game changing! We’re too harsh towards ourself. From now on i’ll talk to myself as i talk to other people 😂💜⭐️

[@lyndsaycarpio2191]

This helped me a lot 🥺❤ You’re my favorite nurse and content creator 🥰

[@kunian]

i've been dealing with this lately and i'm glad i saw this video.. love lots, elder sister 🫶

[@nikkiking4044]

I've been doing something similar- if it's not something I'd say to a friend, then I can't say it to myself. Glad you're talking to yourself better!

[@ElijahGilio]

I actually understood every word you said and you do make a good point. Thank you, I needed that.

[@chinitoreacts]

its just hard when you do your best, and you feel unappreciated. sometimes i just feel worthless. like i dont really matter

[@allisond7099]

Needed to hear this especially today. Thank you!!

[@wuzadiva]

Same goes for moms. My daughter really shook me a few years back when I said something super harsh to myself about myself while we were doing dishes together. She turned to me and said, "Stop being mean to my mommy!" Coming from my practically grown kid, it does me in my tracks, and honestly has shaped my inner voice! It hasn't changed completely, but I'm working on it! And she's let me know how proud she is of me, too 🥰

[@jacksonfysh3746]

Working in sales, it’s easy to have the same mindset. Thank you!🙏🏼

[@santieide5818]

Her skin is the most perfect ever😍😍 she's stunning❤

[@kaiipop4762]

Over time I stopped comparing myself to others and instead compared myself to my past self as it helped me to feel a sense of growth instead of just putting myself down by comparing myself to others

[@Cloudyconfusion]

Oh shit. That’s super helpful honestly if a friend said that they’d be GONE

[@srikrishnavasanth3895]

Don't stop comparing just compare yourself with your yesterday self.

[@LiyaMebra]

“ I am my worst enemy” 🎶- Bailey spinn

[@Chili_Lime_incedint]

❤You are so awesome! I don’t see why you needed to compare yourself to others. Also, that is really good advice! (“If you wouldn’t let a friend say it to you, don’t say it to yourself either.”) ❤

[@HARMONIZEification]

We are our worst enemy!! I compare myself continuously, it’s a repeating cycle. Knowing my worth is something I struggle with

[@m1r__]

my YT shorts is full of Harvard graduates the same age as me lmao I feel worthless sometimes it doesn't bother me generally but when it HITS it hits hard

[@user-vu9st6fd7v]

Thank you for sharing this healthy mindset 😭❤️

[@shine-uy5fq]

Mine is different. I read/heard this from somewhere, "Everyone has a different timeline." Ever since then, I stopped gaf

[@MaryNjoki-ce3mu]

I used to compare myself with my sister at the end. I always get hurt, bythen I really realize I ❤❤have to live on my own

[@starlamendis1171]

Hello miki. I love your videos and energy. I think it is sometimes very hard to be content with oneself. But you gotta be your own hype girl. You are freaking out after having 30k pple watching your vid. I am really on cloud nine if i pass the 20 pple mark (& i am serious) ‼️ Life is not a competition, so if they are better than you be truly happy for them, but also be truly happy for yourself no matter what.

[@wyyyoko]

This is so true. And if you are not sure whether the comment that your brain tells you is mean - find a trust worthy and honest friend, tell your friend your situation and see what he/she tells you. Ask few more friends to see the “average” opinion, and you will know what you should do. Could be useful for ppl with AvPD who may sometimes be too eager to receive recognition and affirmation from ppl they care.

[@leeslover]

i really needed this right now, i keep comparing myself to those at school, and school is starting soon so im kinda worried. like i just cant compete with anyone

[@estherpradhan2761]

I know you are saying it as an encouraging words.... But it easy to say than to do or think the positive way now matter how much we try something keeps on taking us back

[@-Ashleyfalls]

well said that's such a beautiful way of putting it .

[@sciencebunny]

That’s good advice actually

[@mtanxm]

This practical top is helpful for someone like me. Thank youuuuu ❤

[@agabrook]

You're so beautiful, inside and out. Thanks a tonne

[@mariahatthemoment]

Love this message. Now I need tea on that ‘heating the lash curler’ situation 👀 is that a hack??!?

[@maddyandrus243]

I felt like I was going to cry because I do this to myself all the time 😞

[@shintaalya25]

Thank you for the reminder 🥺❤

[@aiyanachin]

This literally made me tear up and really helped me.

[@canadianintheend]

There's always going to be someone better then you. Just be happy with yourself look in the mirror and every day say I'm beautiful. If you have nothing good to say don't say it. Woman should be good to each other. 💕

[@krazikatladi3729]

Thank you miki for calling out all our inner thoughts. 😊😊

[@sofiaa5255]

I realized I was treating myself as dumb and I thought everyone else was better than me, more intelligent or charismatic. Find a partner and being so critical with yourself is really a challenge. When I go out with someone I just thing "They are not good enough" and they are not the problem, the problem is myself that things so low of herself that automatically that someone likes me means that person has a problem because why that person chose me and not other better girl

[@tatianadelgado4867]

That's a good point!

[@miiikasa]

Hey, I needed to hear this. Thank you.

[@chai_lattes]

Close friends *have* said that to me. It's such a common way of thinking, especially in conservative Asian American communities. Never once did I think that about them, but they felt comfortable saying it to me.

[@Brio2707]

i keep comparing my marks to others in my college, and it just ends up making me depressed glad i found this when i did

[@xelablack]

Don't know how much I needed to hear this advice! Thank you

[@vivilore677]

I'm glad u are so honest. I look up to you so i really hope u can see that u are an inspiration

[@LilfoxTheHybridHylian5967]

Thanks for this
It is making me feel better

[@tassys]

That's my main weakness that trapped me in low self estime for years. This year 2024 I have decided to wake the f up and stop comparing my appearance and achievments to others. I'm done living in that mental prison !

[@eldesu73]

Thanks for this wonderful advice!

[@ToeRingAdventures]

I had no idea you can enhance your lash curl by heating up the curler....great tip :) & message ;)

[@hebewayatt]

Best advice ever!!

[@I.am.human.2.]

Tbh if my friend came up and said that too me I wouldn’t fit them
Off, I can’t say no I also think
I deserve to be treated like this.

[@khadijamunawar6594]

Great perspective 👏🏻 👌🏻

[@naf2192]

That is some brilliant advice. It's so simple but true.

[@Ayaron427]

Thank you for the advise!

[@KonroBabi]

Needed this, thank you!! You’re a wonderful person.

[@anthonyromo8684]

GOOD WORDS!!!

[@TheErikapal20]

Thank you 🙏

[@chiomao4047]

I love this. Never thought about it like that ❤

[@manishakoul3701]

Amazing advise. Thank you, dear ❤ Stay blessed 😊

[@RajeshHawaii]

This woman spits pure game

[@langhya]

thank you miki

[@1iquid5nake]

True words of wisdom for all people, young or old.

[@starlightzz1480]

Wow i never thought about it that way...🥺

[@user-zs6bm4um5z]

Thank you excellent example!!😅

[@xxSweetCandicexx]

This doesn't work for me because i wouldnt cut the friend off but i would feel sad the same way 😭

[@Mariana_edits123]

The fact that my own grandmother called me fat in 100000 different ways and I watched this just makes me like-“ but it wasn’t my friend-“

[@Laura55060]

Great advice!!

[@nintendoconvert4045]

Well said ❤️

[@sanda_nish]

that's some underated real shit❤👊

[@chandana_raagera]

I am gonna try to follow this thank you

[@jellyfish4159]

Thank you so much for the meaningful message.

[@avaa7978]

i didnt know this tysm 💙

[@La0zBaBee]

This is so powerful & I 🩵 it 👏🏼💪🏽

[@terseduck]

Whoa. This helps a lot

[@mahamudabeauty4896]

Thank you so much for this tip, im definitely trying this

[@bluerosegurl]

I do this! Yay!🎉

[@TheRoys]

Thats a good message!

[@shinzoukentarou9396]

Good for those people who doesn't have an inner dialogue

[@lillybm]

fair point but if u don’t criticize ur self u don’t get anywhere and u take that criticism and turn it into a desire to get better and grow so take it and turn it into smt postive wrather than not criticizing ur self

[@Elena-pk9ve]

when doing the eye lash curling, you can use a blow dryer on the hot setting instead of a lighter 😊

[@kriss24]

Thank you so much you are so right❤

[@deepshika.]

Another version of this I've heard is- "If you wouldn't say that to your friends, why would you say that to yourself?"

[@laurenskee2665]

I mean, comparing yourself does have its place.

[@favv70]

girl i got 5 views and still happy

[@nanaaddae8623]

Hmm deep. If you wont let your friend say it to you, dont say it to yourself either. ❤

[@xxmeloxx7803]

Your makeup and hair are beautiful ✨

[@dhahamthi]

Oh I like Tht perspective

[@zoelipa2004]

My inner self doesn't care and compares to everyone making myself insurance everyday

[@Marza-fo6qq]

Amen❤

[@studiousgirl71]

Running your eyelash curler under running warm water has the same effect.

[@SassMaster3.0]

Grade A advice 😊

[@cheesecakepaws]

I think vice versa would work better for me. I would totally let someone say this to me and my friends never would even say anything close to this to me and I can't gaslight myself into thinking they would BUT if a friend said that about themselves?! Oh boy I wouldn't let that one slide.

[@verenyamprakashsaxena1468]

Woow thank you so much gonna use ut❤❤