I am a Japanese man in my 40s, a business owner. I am ashamed as a Japanese to see this interview and at the same time I have to admit it as a reality. In fact, the business owners around me, married men, view cheating as a casual act. They think that as long as their wives do not find out about the cheating, there is no problem. Some of them also believe that it is natural for a capable man to date more than one woman, and they also think it's just like in nature for a man with superior genes to date numerous women. Cheating is an act of killing the partner's heart and a betrayal to yourself. I believe that people who cheat easily betray me as well, so the moment I discover their cheating, I try to stop the transaction and bring my own heart to a safe place.The rotten values that infest Japan are repulsive.
I view that as an infinite loophole of collectivism. The fact that you feel ashamed for others' bad moral, means that you are not freed. The Japanese identity is so strong that, people would rather be a proud but pathetic Japanese, than being *insert your name here* and stay strong with belief. Meanwhile in America, there's always some most degenerate people, and there's always some people living their beautiful lives with their belief.
@@wongwaijeremy You are right, I am not free from the group of Japanese. As a nation that has been composed of a single ethnic group for 2000 years, many Japanese feel a stronger sense of identity with their home country than with other countries. On the other hand, I live according to my conscience and make it a rule for me not to associate with such people (who do not feel that cheating is wrong). And there are so many people who, like me, disagree with the wrong values prevailing in society. But we don't needlessly clash with them. Now, every country has its good and bad sides. For example, drugs are not as prevalent in Japan as they are in the U.S., and there are no mass shootings. This is because the collective conscience is at work in Japan and most people consider drugs and gun use to be evil.
You’re smart. As an American woman when I see these Japanese men and I hear your story I am hearing a culture that has been devastated by their former polygamist past. Polygamy is very barbaric and evil and no society where women are treated as human beings is polygamy practiced. I am from the American state of Utah and there are many Mormon polygamist here. I have seen first hand the horrors that come with men having more then one wife. They always neglect their kids and wives and you will see the wives and kids going thru the trash for food because the men have so many lovers they can’t provide for all of them. Every kid who was raised a polygamist you can always know isn’t gonna cheat if they’ve left the cult bc you know that men having multiple partners actually traumatized them and ruined their childhoods. I have a friend who was raised in a polygamist family and he said it best, “men who cheat and men who think they deserve multiple partners are insecure narcissist that need to have the attention of women to feel validated. They have to have the attention of the very people they loathe and disrespect so much and it’s an oxymoron”
Thank you for your post. It's good to know there might still be a few honorable Japanese men trying to guide the younger generation in a better way. This video is so sad, not only because of the women being betrayed, but because these oblivious guys don't understand how their actions will keep them from finding a true meaningful connection. Super sad.
I have a japanese friend who is two years older than me (26). He said that nowadays young people don't take relationships seriously and he also said that many men in Japan claim that marriage is just a status and as long as their wife doesn't find out, that they are cheating there's nothing wrong with it. My question is that a man who is married and cheats on his wife and they say "this is a man's nature " or "i wants to have sex with more women as possible", why does such man get married in the first place?
@@Givebackthescarfyou don’t get it, sex isn’t just physical, why do you think it’s WAY worse when somebody r*pes you than physically assaulting you. Sex is more than just an urge, it’s emotional, psychological even spiritual so. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing shared between a couple for the purpose of making their relationship stronger and having children. Promiscuous sex however has proven to do far more harm than good to all parties involved and to cheat on someone you’ve committed to is one of the worst things someone can do as it betrays one of the deepest vows of trust someone can make. And if you’ve ever spoken to people in open relationships who allow their partners to cheat, usually to enabler suffers from insecurities or or different emotional forms of desperation. That part of Japanese culture needs to change as it doesn’t do the rest of it amazing history and culture Justice or anything at all.
@@ToTheTop-of1hr I was curious myself, so I actually looked it up. Studies show that up 50.8% of Korean men have cheated. Furthermore, 40.5% of Korean men don't view prostitution as cheating... The stats speak for themselves.
I’ve dated a few girls while living here and had one tell me that it was ok to go to another girl if I wanted sex…. as an American I thought, “what the actual hell?” Yeah that relationship didn’t last long. But I’ve also been intimate with a few girls I’ve dated and can tell you that the experience level of almost all of the girls I’ve dated has been legit close to 0. Some had never had boyfriends before and some had never dated a foreigner. The consistent story I hear is that they’ve had a couple of boyfriends that have either abused them in some way (especially sexually, and including taking photos/videos where they do their best to cover their face), or they are incredibly inconsiderate and never communicate unless they want sex that night. It’s such a roller coaster that I can see why a lot of girls say they don’t want kids, don’t want to get married, or if they do, they settle for whoever shows them affection in any way and then end up in crap relationships where they get abused on any number of levels. I think many girls who say they are ok with prostitution say that because they think they aren’t good in bed and can’t satisfy their boyfriend or husband. In all honesty, from my experience, it’s been less than mediocre with some of the girls I’ve dated. Like actually thinking, “what is happening right now?” in the midst of it. But I would still say it’s not ok to cheat or go to prostitution. If you’re in it together for the long haul then half the fun of experiencing life together means you can grow together in that area too and communicate. But if you don’t care about her (or him) them just leave and go find someone else instead of cheating.
@@butchmagnus6927 I’m sorry this ain’t an kindergarten level comment… I’ll summarize for you… “yOuR sTuPiD”. I used your here instead of you’re for your convenience :)
@@aflowingbrook2919 LOL how the hell did you come to that conclusion? never cheated on anyone in my life. never been to or used any typed of prostitution or legal means of sex for money. you missing some brain cells? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@butchmagnus6927 he dated Jap girls and they are not experienced and like getting cucked. These woman will let anything slide, i.e. cheating, abuse, basically allowing the man to do anything he wants
My Japanese ex thought I was being "inconsiderate" if I don't let him cheat because he was so stressful at work, as if I don't have my own career. To my ex, woman's work is unimportant. He even felt jealous when I changed my job and asked "Is your title manager now?" to imply my job is a lower social status than his. (At that time, my yearly income is higher than him) In general, cheating to Japanese men is a one of act of power demonstration, telling the women to "know their place". 🙂 Totally fked up.
Cheating so casually like that is also a huge health concern with STIs…like…how awful to potentially expose your partner who has no idea what you are doing.
In Australia, cheaters are considered like scumbags. Marriages can break down if the husband or wife cheats, and some politicians have been forced to resign when it was found out they cheated on their partner.
Pretty sure you just described the western world at large, that's by no means exclusive to Australia. At least the cheating leading to divorce bit, politicians have a lot more leeway in some countries
Thats harsh. What rational reason is there for viewing a cheater as a scumbag? If my partner cheated on me I would be disappointed, but I would be far from hating them.
@@dannielz6 interesting take. I do think western society overplays the "evil" aspect of cheating a bit too much. But then again I certaintly would not tolerate it
LOL! Cheating is personal problem. I agree they are ostracized, but to the point of having to lose your job because of cheating? So unproffesional. Cheating has no correlation with politician job.
@@plunemfg4509That's even worse than cheating with regular woman! I'll be mad if my bf waste the money for sex, risk me with a disease, no dignity for having sex with someone who had been touch by many random guys.
There are people who cheat and have a one-night stand with someone they have no feelings for and did not pay them. What's the difference? Just because it is transactional does not make it ok. Feelings or not it's cheating regardless. Unless the person talks with their partner in the beginning about these things and it's agreed upon, then it's not okay.@@plunemfg4509
@@shukriramleeWhy do you assume dignity is involved? Not every sex worker is a sex worker with issue with dignity. It’s just their job, their way of making money.
@@RachelPun Sex worker is not the problem. The problem is the 'customer' who pay for the service. You can't even treat your wife/ gf with 5 dollar shirt but pay 200 dollar for sex service and a f disease! And the 'customer' know that sex worker had sex with thousands of other random people. The 'customer' got no dignity at all!
I’m Chinese (overseas) lived in Japan for a few years. It is from my understanding that 80% of Japanese couples cheat on each other and that’s not an exageration. I’ve dated Japanese girls that ended up cheating on me, I’ve also ended up with girls that cheated on their partners (or i suspect) on me, of course after realizing this I ended the relationship. Most Japanese see love and sex as two different things, you can love someone and still cheat on them, and you can have sex with someone without any emotional attachments involved. Yes other countries do cheat, even Chinese girls, but I think Japanese are the worst because there is no honesty and truth in their relationships. I love Japan, it is a great country but the Dark Side of things like this made me leave. The lack of human connection with other people and lack of basic human decency is actually disgusting. Not generalizing because there are exceptions to the rule, anyways I’m out of Japan now and I feel much more happier.
Im half Thai half chinese ( grew up in thailand but worked with japanese ppl) , this mentality of seperating seems to be for many ppl. I worked in germany many years and some ppl who live here (mostly not ethnically germans but turkish men, who are the main foreigners in germany) that also difference sex from love and in work were sometimes talking about them loving theyr gf but cheating. Anyways one japanese i worked the longest with (who was actually very loyal to his wife and anyways was always more quite and shy in front of nonjapanese ppl, with that i just mean he talked more with his own ppl at our work, his german was fluent so i guess he just prefered to talk japanese). So , the thing is this, your comment is interesting to me,… bcs one time we had this topic about a video (same topic as this video and also about cheating) So Hiro ( i will name him like this as i do not want to use his real name) kind of listened to ,what we were talking about. I was currently telling others about the video and the cheating topic in japan and anyways while doing that hiro was also going to say something. He said that all these videos are ˋˋare staged and japanese ppl dont do this kind of stuffˋˋ… some in oir group believed him about the videos being fake anyways and that japanese dont cheat… It was kind of ridiculous to me and buggles me to this day, cause why would he defend that the videos are fake and cheating ˋˋactuallyˋˋ doesnt exist in japan. I didnt say anything about it, i only thought like, come on, you can fool others , but not me , theres millions of japanese ppl and you tell me none of them cheat ?? I guess he didnt want any kind of negative opinions about his country, still was ridiculous cause theres no country on earth where ˋˋALLˋˋ ppl dont cheat…. That the videos are fake or staged i was ofcourse only a assumption from him, bcs he has 0 evidence that all these vids are fake (some maybe but all of them. …no) and i think he only said that to ˋˋconfirmˋˋ that ˋˋno wayˋˋ that any japanese would cheat. Or maybe he actually bröieves that as he himself is extremly loyal to his wife. He never talks to females only if he has to , he never touched any of us with this i mean stuff that sometimes happens with ppl , hugging, handshake (sure in japan its bowing down etc but hes in germany in that time where this is different) he doesnt look at women at all ,but also ONLY if he has to (in our work we do glass/porcelain art, so we talk but dont have to look at eachother, so he really only had to do it if we had to talk about a project that we had to eork on together sometimes).
@@mxd-1990asn the impression I get is that if you are THAT avoidant of women to the point of not even having eye contact with them...and you respond that quickly and sternly about a topic of conversation that you weren't even part of, (especially if he was very shy like you said), then you are definitely hiding something and therefore overcompensating in this way to further hide it. Seems fishy to me 🐟
For a country who put honor, loyalty and discipline in their work/career as crutial life motto, it's really tragic how they view sex, love & intimate commitment in their life. No wonder less and less women want to have children or getting married.
To be fair, he's interviewing a handful of people out of the 125.7 million population. Could also differ outside of big cities like Tokyo where there's much more outside influence.
I think you haven't watch the other side of the Issue. Cheating as whole is not a man's only thing in Japan, it's universal, meaning both genders participate in it. There are many contents on RUclips who tackles this issue and you'll be surprised on how many of them (men and women) think it's acceptable.
I’m Japanese so for me, it’s not surprising at all. I’m sick of this kind of culture or misogyny. Actually, it is one of the reasons why I left Japan.(Currently living in the UK) Strange thing about this is as some guys on this video mention, somehow many women accept it. And some women think accepting boyfriends’/partner’s cheating makes them to feel like they are understanding girlfriends/partners. As a woman, I think it comes from lack of self esteem. If you have healthy level of self esteem or relationship you would not accept a person who makes you feel like sh*t. In my opinion, the biggest factor of this cheating thing in Japan is based on misogyny, but lack of communication in relationships is one of the factor as well. In the comments some people saying like this interview was taken in night time in Shibuya and they’re tipsy early 20s guys so their answers cannot be majority opinions. I know their point, but to be honest, if you wanna get real/true opinions from Japanese people, this situation was best. Many Japanese people say their opinions indirectly and are very good at pretending to be nice all the time so doing interviews in this situation was best. Well done Takashi san. And also I don’t think there would be so much difference between city and countryside on this matter. Countryside can be more misogynistic and furthermore it can be worse because some people think women should ignore partner’s cheating due to more social pressure than city.
I am German and I had an affair with a married fellow student girl at university. We had no intend to hurt anybody. We just loved each other. Cheating is normal and the statistics prove it. That's why saying "one of the reasons why you left Japan" doesn't make sense at all. If I learned one lesson from travelling different countries at my very young age, that lesson would be that male genetics work exactly the same no matter where you are on this planet. I think the real problem about cheating is that we are told that cheating is bad from a very young age. We only know this opinion. It's hammered into our heads. We are never told that cheating is normal or not so bad. Or that cheating can be even good. Just in the recent year, you can find more and more articles in newspapers etc. - at least in Germany - that talk more openly about cheating and that cheating isn't as bad as people try o make it.
This is so disappointing, no wonder why they have no kids anymore. They think it's like this in other countries, I live in Europe (Belgium) and for my friends cheating is outrageous, not the normality
I really got to move to Switzerland or Belgium. I want a real marriage. My Japanese husband stopped sex after one year because I gained weight. And he refuses to work and I pay all the bills. i would never stop sex because a man didn't earn enough $. He told me can't you accept a sexless marriage, he claims it's common in Japan when you get older, he told me go ahead and find a lover. I said what if I fell in love with the lover and wanted to marry the lover, he said that would be very sad. WTF. I can't take it!!!!! btw I am half-Japanese.
@@eri7-11 What did you honestly expect from a society that essentially raises men to expect women to defer to them and look kawaii? Even if you had stayed slim, he would have still done something to disrespect the union.
Wow, im swiss and im shook. Here men cheat too but if they get caught they are cancelled. Men who cheat are seen as boyish, dumb, silly and immature. So when you get cheated on you basically have everyone on your side.@@eri7-11
I am culturally shocked by this. In the Philippines, when you cheat, you're considered a despicable person. Usually, your family or even friends would get mad at you if they know you cheated on someone. Which would leave a bad impression that would stick with you in the long run. I've been cheated on before, and I would like to say that it hurts so much. The trust that we built up, just suddenly perished. Btw, prostitution here is illegal, so it is considered cheating if you're committed to someone and you go there. When you have sex with someone other than your gf/bf or wife/husband, that is cheating. Our country is composed mainly by Roman Catholics so cheating and even having sex before marriage is a big no no. However, maybe because it's the modern days already, I noticed some people having sex even before marriage. Still, that's maybe only 10%. We have different views on this because we grew up in different environments. I do respect everyone's opinion. I hope that each of us try to understand where we're coming from.
Very well said , cheaters in the Philippines can still enjoy life but whenever and wherever they are , they will always be seen as a despicable human being with no conscience whatsoever. So if you are a Filipino reading this and you want to cheat , I will warn you now that you will be called a walking "red flag" here whenever and wherever you go😂. You can still have friends but no girl will take you seriously here if you have a past of cheating.
Thanks for your comment! I was just thinking if they do not see cheating as something bad because the foundation of their culture is not Judeo-Christian as it is in Western countries, and your comment seems to corroborate my thought.
I just want to clear something more about the "no girl will take you seriously if you are a cheater in the past" , Some girls that are "Low-Quality" will still go and have a relationship with you , but you will be having a hard time getting the "Wifey Material" Girl or Woman that every men wants to be with for the future. So Again I will say this , Don't cheat , just don't , even if you are bored with the relationship , just search the spark again together with your Girlfriend , if you ever feel bored , just go outside and touch some grass or eat your favorite food at your favorite restaurant or stare at the stars for 1 hour to rest and to find yourself and go home to meet up with your girlfriend again and hug her 😂 , At least that is what I will do , but you get the point HAHA.
I have lived in Japan, and what really happens is that this society has a huge communication problem. When they are young, they experience love like any society, people overflowing with love, kisses, and imagining life in colors. However, when they reach adulthood, they don't know how to handle adult relationships. They simply see each other as functional. The woman is there to reproduce, take care of the house and the children, and keep them healthy, while the man goes out to work and provides economic security. When you see them acting as parents, they only play the role of parents and always try to appear as 'the best,' as if they never make mistakes. But the truth is that they are in relationships for the sake of being in them, without any real feelings, and they are only together for the children and for social appearances. I have met couples who don't even know what their spouse likes. The emotional education in this country is a complete disaster. I can't imagine how it is in other countries like Korea, China, etc.
Based solely on my own observations and my peers, chinese men are the most loyal from the three and korean men can be too. they are not at all open to cheating like japanese society.
South Koreans communicate a lot in relationships. Westerners would probably see it as obsessive and clingy. It’s like a constant thing. The fashion industry even makes clothing specifically for couples so they can have matching outfits. Japan and Korea are similar in some ways and extremely different in others.
Insecurity or coward are buzzwords of the century. People say this to anything they dislike. X said something I didnt like -> Insecurity. Now I think cheaters are repulsive and shitty ppl,whether ur a guy or a girl I dont care but most of these people are not insecure or anything. Maybe a few of them do it because they are insecure about their partner cheating first but that is a small percentage. The main reason behind the cheating is fast-dopamine chasing. Its simple. Even me as a man I've had sexual thoughts about different women or multiple women yet I dont act on those impulses because I have a girlfriend. People who tend to NOT enjoy slow gratification are the same people who do drugs or crave sexual variety. The same people who are ok with slow gratification and not trying to pursue fast dopamine all the time are the ones having consistent relationships. The best words to describe cheaters from a scientific perspective is "impulsive". But yeah I was also surprised about a lot of japanese men view on this topic. I am pakistani and live in europe but cheating is so despised in our culture that no man with wife or girlfriend feels comfortable even having other sexual thoughts bc of how we were raised with such strong family values. I was thinking Japan would hold cheaters accountable strongly because its a traditional country but the modernism of sexual liberation has made all of them think that sex is just a handshake and go around saying shit like "its ok if its prostitution bc there are no feelings". Its still sex though
Beautiful 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼exactly, I have always thought that same thing. I’ve had a few married colleagues try to start a relationship and the response is “why would you be attractive ? You’re too much of a puss$ to leave and call it but would rather try the weaker way?” An old person once told me “sh$t or get off the pot”
or have the guts/self-esteem to be in an open relationship. These misogynistic men would eviscerate at the thought of their gf/wife sleeping with another man.
My Japanese friends from my uni in the EU told me this is why they are looking to live abroad or find a foreign husband. It's insane these guys think the woman are okay with it. They are mostly not, they are just culturally groomed (expression coming from one of the jp friends) to put up with family abuse, especially from guys. They are not equipped with the social skills to talk about their feelings or confront their husbands. They'd rather lie and say it is okay to avoid any sort of confrontation or go against what they think is the popular opinion.
@@korggg123 Yeah I believe the young's belief that prostitution is not cheating should be debunked. Their belief will bring them far worst outcomes than they can imagine
Its ironic because ive always thought about myself as a free man that does what he wants yet the idea of cheating has never, ever crossed my mind, mostly because my father raised me to take accountability for the decisions I make. If i get married, I now have the responsability of doing my absolute best to make things works because even tho Im not a family man, I see family as something sacred and if Im not in for it 100%, then I should not have one in the first place. If you are not happy with your relationship, talk it out, try to fix things and if things dont work, move on but do it properly and with dignity Taking accountability can be lonely, but at least you wont have to lie to yourself to rationalize why you cheat or why its fine or culturaly normal to hurt your supposed loved ones.
This is just so gross. Absolutely no respect for women or themselves. I know there are going to be good men in Japan...but the fact that the majority of them will cheat and not even feel bad...I would never consider dating a Japanese man for this reason alone. I have self-respect and I know my worth. This is so depressing.
Never say never 😂. You might find a japanese man that you fall in love with. Also not all japanese men are like that,yeah chances of cheating are high but doesnt change the fact that we shouldnt judge an entire group of people because some do it. Its better to make decisions based on the knowledge we have. Its like me saying I wont date american women because the divorce rate is really high. Your generalisation excludes individual situations different from each other.
@@amukbir8777 I didn't generalize, though. I said there are good men in Japan, no doubt, but the fact that the number of men who are willing to cheat and see no issue with it is soooo high...yeah, I'm not very likely to date a Japanese man because how can you know he's not one of the men that will cheat no issue? You can't. You have to trust his word and statistics are against him. If he was someone I knew over a period of time and it was obvious he was a good man who doesn't cheat, that's different. But just a random man on the street...I wouldn't take the chance. You made an assumption that I'm American, though...not everyone on RUclips is American. 🤷🏼♀️
@@NsTheName Also my friend. The rate of cheating and statistics about it show that japan is definitely in the top 10 of most cheating countries but The US,Germany,Denmark and the UK are top 4 in the world in terms of cheating.....should I stop dating germans and english people? 🤣
Here's two good questions for the next interviews: Why do Japanese treat relationships so shallowly? If a couple were in a proper relationship and had a healthy mindset about sex then cheating (and prostitution) wouldn't be so prevalent. Why do Japanese not understand the emotional side of sex?
Because they are not taught that. We are fed the narrative of :have sex when you are ready and with somebody you love. Since being a young teenager. How do we make babies: well you know, when a man and a woman loves eachother… we have a very romantic vision of sex in the West, which i think serves us in a way but also end up in shaming casual sex havers, although it’s become ever less the case. With chrstianity we also had the view historically that sex was sacred, which is not the case in non monotheistic societies i think.
Because they are so secretive they aren't used of showing emotions and think being vulnerable is a flaw. But they feel forced to get married so they do it, but don't know each other feelings. that's why they don't even care if they are hurting the other. They are also encouraged to do it by each other like this video shows. Japan is extremely sexist so women are probably scared of being single or abused if they don't agree.
A 10-year-old Pew Research study found that 70% of Japanese consider cheating immoral (in my contry, France, it's only 42%). A more recent one gives 75%. And 30% of Japanese men have cheated, that's about 15% for women. In France, 49% of men and 32% of women have cheated. I think Takashi could come to France to ask this question. 😂
Get off your high horse. Japanese have deep respect for family relationships and structure. Its the West that takes relationships and family "shallowly". You think like a child.
I appreciate your high quality content. You don't seem to cherrypick your interviews, it's all very candid. Sometimes it seems like Japanese people try to hide the downsides of their society, but you're very honest about it and that is refreshing. Improvement never comes from hiding away from problems.
Nice to see this topic covered! In my experience living over there for five years in Tokyo as an American woman, cheating is waaaay more common. Particularly guys cheating on girls, but I also feel like girls cheating on guys was much more common as well at least compared to the U.S. I worked as a bartender in Tokyo and would see guys with their wives there one night and then their girlfriends the next. Of course working at a bar in any country you are going to see more cheating behavior, but this was IMO way way way more prevelant in Japan than U.S., and in my own relationship experiences as well in both countries. I had two serious relationships with Japanese men, and both cheated. And one of the two actually thought it was my role to just "accept" it and still wanted us to get married, despite him cheating. Yeah....it's crazy. Never been cheated on by any other nationality person I've been in relationships with. It really is a strange phenomena in Japan.
gosh i felt my heart break reading this.. imagine being madly in love with your partner and idk preparing a surprise for them just to find out they were cheating on you
Some people see cheating as normal thing, but to some people is abnormal People who cheat are not serious with their life and have no respect for their partner
Yeah it's completely different in Japan. It's almost seen more as a cultural norm which is why I will never ever date or marry japanese man despite being asked multiple times.
I really struggle to understand how one of the most respectful and mannered countries have so many people cheating. Like, isnt cheating a lack of total respect and manners? Its such a high contrast between their strict rules of living civilized and then they still have going on this cheating culture, family or couple abuse.
"I really struggle to understand how one of the most respectful and mannered countries have so many people cheating." Countries and the people in it are more complicated than that. They aren't one dimensional. "Like, isnt cheating a lack of total respect and manners?" - Well, apparently it's not. It is according to the morals you were raised on, but our morals aren't universal
I find their responses to be disappointing and quite disgusting actually…it’s interesting to see that none of them recognize the correlation between this kind of mindset and the objectification of women in the media (and in society) in Japan.
the objectifacation of women, hmmmm u obviously dont know many japanese women they are actually worse than the japanese men, remember he only interviewed japanese men, if he interviewed japanese women and they actually told the truth u would be shocked
This is so crazy to hear because theres also the other side of Japan with idol culture that if an idol is found to be dating its seen as a scandal. They get hate and sometimes have to quit their careers. So everyone can cheat all they want but god forbid their favorite celebrity dates someone.
Good point lol. But I think that's because the people that is being interviewed here will never go to an idol or have an idol to support in the first place.
thats kinda bad comparison. would u compare a regular joe to a brad pitt or celebrity that does drugs n god knows what else with all that money? idols are idols not a representation of all people in a country
First time I hear that doing it with a prostitute isn't cheating. It's just amazing how culturally different Western Europe is from Japan in these aspects.
There is no difference in the practice. I would argue americans and europeans cheat even more both men and women. I know,culture is fucked up in dating whether is japan or europe. This is what happens when you normalise sex as a handshake. I think this is what you call hook up culture
@@homie3461 I haven't said anything about prostitution but about cheating. I'm not getting into an argument with you but I'm Spanish and I've never heard that having sex with a prostitute isn't cheating. If you have, good for you.
@@homie3461 Nobody denies those places exist. If you aren't in a relationship, go off and sleep with 20 people a week, nobody cares. But sleeping with others while in relationship hurts the other half. These guys have very weird attitude towards it, as if it is a badge of honor - something to be proud of. In the west, people generally frown upon cheating, and that's the main difference.
I think most asian countries treat prostitution differently than the west, we view them as products, not people. Heck, my boss's wife even told my boss to "just go get a prostitute" during her pregnancy months since he kept on pestering her about sex, and we're talking about a happily married couple here
I've been told Japanese people view cheating as a sport. Don't know how true it is. But I did have a colleague who was having an affair with a married man and she told me that it wasn't her fault that his wife couldn't control him. Also, I've been told that after women have children, they are less inclined to have sex because they are busy raising their kids. Many of my friends who are married, both male and female, have told me that after they had kids, they rarely had sex. Whereas my Western friends continued to have healthy sex lives with their partners after having children... so it's interesting
The argument of "Prostitution isn't cheating, because emotions aren't involved" is one of the worst excuses I've ever heard. Lust 100% involves emotions, and you wouldn't have sex with someone unless you felt lust towards them. It doesn't make sense. Even the argument of it being "1-way" and "The prostitute is only doing their job"... It's still a terrible excuse. The proustite can always refuse, it's not like they are being forced into it. So it doesn't count as 1-way either, it's still 2-way because they are *both* consenting to have sex. This is honestly one of the worst sides of Japanese society in my opinion. How some people are so casual about cheating. It's quite disgusting.
Dude, Japan had been isolated themselves for 200 years and it is the most isolated country in the world and the most homogenous society in the world. They make their own rule, so don't be surprised if some "morals" don't apply to them, they have been just different since 200 years of isolation. Even here, depression and other mental issues is seen as only disease only Western suffers and Japanese genes are far too superior to have these disease. It is not only cheating problem. Racism in Japan is never seen as disagrace, Instead it is ignored as a way to keep foreigners out of the country. It is common for most foreigners or half-Japanese living in Japan and has no Japanese friends. No, their racism is not direct. It is soft. They treat you like you already died, they keep you stuck at the same level of work you applied many years ago since the job only Japanese can be on top, and you have no option but leave the country. They want you to just pay for taxes and when it is enough, they don't want you anymore. They make the police questioning you, land-lords doesn't want you to rent their house for you, they slowly retreat themselves to not being involved with you. Your half-Japanese children don't have any value in pure Japanese people's eyes since they are not superior compared to pure-Japanese genes and they will forever stuck below Japanese means they won't have any rights to apply for high position job since they are not pure-blood. They are strongly fascist. so you'll feel somehow unwanted and leave Japan on your own. It's Different when you are just tourist, and short-term worker or student, they will offer their best service for the sake you can bring more people on your country to spend money for their tourism industry, make their country rich.
"Japan has a culture of hiding thing anyway" really makes sense. Other thing to take to consideration is like the guy in the left said in 8:22, it depends in your environment. It's also funny that everyone says most of their friends are cheating, but nearly no one said, "I cheated". Funniest take was "Everyone around me is poor, so they wouldn't go anyways." at 6:37 🤣
@@humankaleidoscope4989they already said it's not consider as cheating if they didn't get caught of course they would not admit it. I am sure more than half of the man there have girlfriends. Why would they Dig their own Grave?
Interesting, as a Finnish person I started wondering how close, deep and emotional in average Japanese romatic relationships are..? As for me if I have dated someone seriously he has always also been my best friend while my romantic partner too and that is why I would never have cheated the person, because why would I want to hurt someone so dear and close to me.. If your relationship is not very deep, it is easier to cheat cause you are not emotionally so strongly connected to that other person.
Cheating only hurts us because this thinking is hammered into our heads since childhood by everyone and everything around us even though the statistics prove that cheating is more or less normal. Cheating is over dramatized in the West. I don't think that cheating is necessarily bad. Why do you think that you partner can only be strongly connected to you and not another person?
@@smallego8068 You've missed a huge part of the title... It's a trend of Japanese men cheating on women. That's where it becomes a problem, it isn't an open relationship. It's an abuse of a womans emotions and most likely also lies being told, that's where the 'hurt' stems from. If you think being hurt by emotional abuse, lies and/or deceit is 'dramatization' then you're deluded on how normal human beings minds work.
@@smallego8068 I think what you're talking about is polyamory. If both parties have a shared understanding to explore connections outside of the relationship then it's not cheating. Cheating means there's some level of dishonesty involved. And that's when feelings get hurt, and you end up feeling disrespected and foolish.
@@jjencakes Only the knowledge about being cheated hurts but the actual act of cheating/getting intimate with somebody else doesn't hurt anybody as long as it's kept a secret. Cheating has nothing to do with dishonesty. People are forced to be dishonest because cheating is not accepted and considered bad. But why is it considered bad? My guess. Most people are extremely possessive. They fear that their partner is going to leave them
This whole video is so shocking to me how could they normalise cheating so easily. Cheating your loved one is one of the worst and the disgusting thing ever. I'm literally speechless. And also how can you not care when your friend is cheating his wife/gf. Atleast you should tell them that it is wrong! Isn't what friends do.. correcting them when they were doing something wrong? How can they turn blind and not even care about that!?!? Woah I truly can't understand the friendship in Japan now.
In the UK, cheating is definitely not normalised this way. Serious relationships, at least, typically mean you're intimately committing yourself physically and emotionally to just that person. I have only one friend who I know has cheated on their partner, and ngl, I do judge them pretty hard for it. I find it difficult to see them the same way as I did before I knew that fact.
This is. How it is in canada too.. i fyoure caught cheating or whatever.. usually your image goes down a lot.. especailly from your friends.. they ridicule you and stuff.. some even lose friends.. i never seen a proud cheater.. or someone gloating about cheating.. we see these people are pos.. from my experience.. Even online.. when people are cheating.. i never seen anyone really side with the cheater.. or hte person theyr’e cheating with.. Look at teh try guys.. perfect example. Everyone loved Ned and stuff.. and when the cheating stuff came out.. his friends and co -workers were pissed and they fans… etc.. and now he’s like basically erased fro existence..
You realise that japanese people making it normal to cheat doesnt change the fact that cheating is at its highest in Europe and America (all western world). The reason is 1. Social media 2. The change in view of sex (once sex is just a physical act,it takes the special meaning of it and its like giving a handshake for them,it stops being special) Cheating happens everywhere,doesnt make it right but people shouldnt take it on japan thinking "the uk is morally superior" when there is a culture of hooking up,having casual sex or other weird things WHERE cheating happens even more than in japan. Cheating happens everywhere,the only exception with less cheating are islamic countries because women are less open. Men function based on what women do. When women are extremely closed -> Less women to have sex with -> Cheating happens less. Also cultural factors like strong family values actually reduce cheating because relationships mean something beyond the physical. Either way,I have a japanese friend and he is not like this. Dont think that all japanese people are like this
I am Japanese, but please don't think their opinions represent the whole Japanese people. First of all, this interview was conducted in Shibuya, which is one of the biggest entertainment districts in Japan. If you ask about cheating in such a place, you will get only impure answers.
Such low morals it can't hit lower I think. As a Christian, cheating for me starts already in your mind and heart before the physical action. Crazy world.
I agree, I'm a Christian Catholic myself and I think the same. Sadly Christians are only like less than 1% in Japan...hope for them it will change at some points in their history in the future and they'll accept Jesus as their savior.
Agreed, sis! I'm a Christian, too. I couldn't even watch the video, lol. I saw the preview clip at the beginning & got mad, so I had to know my limits and just refrain so I didn't entertain letting further bitterness into my heart. The Lord bless and keep you & your loved ones, sis! 🤎☺️
@@Pistachio532 every religions contains humans and those humans very sadly and awfully make horrible things sometimes... Btw let me remind you Islam is literally the worst on this matter...self claimed prophet muhammad was himself the worst of ped.o by marrying aisha a baby girl of only 9...so you can stop blaming only Christian religion about this horrible subject.
@@Pistachio532every religions contains humans and those humans very sadly and awfully make horrible things sometimes... Btw let me remind you Islam is literally the worst on this matter...self claimed prophet muhammad was himself the worst of ped.o by marrying aisha a baby girl of only 9...so you can stop blaming only Christian religion about this horrible subject. Ummmm........very interesting things indeed..........😠
I’m half Japanese and grew up in Japan. In this video, some of the men mentioned that going to “fuzoku” isn’t cheating, but in reality, if girls did the same, men will get really angry and would say they’d been cheated. In my opinion, in Japan, men are more allowed to cheat or play, or sexually harass women, because they are thought to be that kind of creature…and in a relationship, a lot of the times, they will have to have experience so that they can lead their girls when they have sex. A lot of my friends who are boys went to “fuzoku” to practice as their first time sex. Women in japan are thought to be more gentle, naive, innocent creatures. I think that’s why a lot of women would not talk so much about sex, seems not so interested, pretend to have no knowledge. The boyfriend will normally take the lead on sex, but in a lot of cases, I think they stay safe/gentle with the girlfriend. (If they are not abusive aggressive boyfriends who looks down on women and forces his girlfriend to have sex) While boyfriends are being nice to their girlfriends, when the boyfriend feels bored, because of not being able to do things that he wanted, he will go play with another girl. A lot of my friends said that they keep this innocent relationship with their girlfriends, but they will get another girl to play, to satisfy their sexual needs when they get bored, in order to maintain the main relationship…
I get what you are saying and that is literal poison to the head. What you said is, "Why spend time with your only loved one and eat a meal you both cook together at home when you can pay money to go to some stranger's house and share bites of their McDonald's Happy Meal that they bought." The chain company food might taste better than your hard earned homecooked meal together, but if you love your significant other, why spend money for the excitement of pouncing in on a stranger's home with fastfood when you can relax at home and spend all your time in love with your special person? On the other hand, if you don't eat fast food, good for you.
Hm no wonder some of the men there look for foreigners who are a more foward with advancements. I think I get it, they get tired of initiating doing all the work to be romantic or sexual but the women tend to be "innocent, quiet, still, proper" that get really boring when they cant take the lead and do things individually. I dont blame the women, its the culture on top of that even if the women has personality its a culture normalized thing to cheat so its basically "allowed" with or without permission
@@iamfighterman9646 thats so messed up but yes I agree with this. Some people are sick like that wanting to keep "purity" or why some make a big deal out of womens virginity. Its also a bit sad because they can't fulfill each others desires completely so they look elsewhere, they only have their mindset to blame
Holy cow, this video was...wild. I wish you would have begun every interview by asking if they understood what "cheating" was -- even if culturally defined. Can't wait for the female's version of this. I hope he interviews both older and younger generations as well.
I've watched some of the videos where Japanese women are also asked the same question and some of them have the same answers like the guys in the video. As far as my memory goes, the women are even more likely to cheat- which I'm not 100% sure of. Nevertheless, it was mind boggling.
It's just a linguistic thing. Uwaki (cheating in Japanese) and cheating are two distinct words. They have a subtly different range of meanings and completely different etymologies. Prostitution is cheating, but not always uwaki.
@@missfrubby7814 That isn't the reason. When it comes to developed Asia, work hours, economic stress will far and away be the primary factor. Not only are a lot of Japanese women ok with the men doing this, they also cheat just as much. People don't like to date doctors and investment bankers globally (unless they're also one) because they're working 70-80+ hours a week. Hardly present, tired, notorious cocaine usage due to burnout, ample opportunity to cheat. Now imagine Tokyo where average office workers do those hours but aren't paid as well.
To all the guys that said prostitution doesn't count, Takashii should ask them if they would be ok that their gf paid a guy to have sex with them. LMAO I'd love to see their faces.... 😂😂
He did ask one guy about that, and the response was that flipping the genders wouldn't change anything. There's less possessiveness in Japanese dating culture, so that's likely a common view on things.
He asked what if genders were flipped, but he didn't ask "what if it was YOUR gf".... this small difference in the question makes a big difference in what the person thinks when answering...
@@guascamsb8138 agree - in some respects, it implies that HIS girlfriend is not being fulfilled sexually by him, and that she is bored with his connection or efforts to satisfy her. I'd be very interested if he would stay in that relationship, although it appears he'd expect his girlfriend to just accept it
I was genuinely shocked by this one tbh. The majority said that prostitution does not count as cheating and I simply can't believe it, haha. Can't wait to hear what girls have to say about this. Great interviews as always
@@salade99 agreed. This video is quite misleading. It's like asking about sex on the red-light district in Holland. And Shibuya is a town full of guys who spend all day picking up girls. What do you expect to hear about sex in a place like this? And if you look at the cheating rates in other countries, Japan is not that high. "Why Do Japanese Guys Cheat So Much?" is also pretty clickbait.
@@a.feuerstein9512 Surprised to see the incels crawling out of their holes so confidently. Try not to spread your pathetic, self wallowing pity to the rest of us who know how to better ourselves and handle rejection. It's not the women, it's your own distorted world view based upon carefully built propaganda spoon fed directly into your pretty little head.
Thank you for making this video! :D I thought my Japanese ex was also on the same page as me, but that was until he would start talking about sleeping with other women and told me that it's okay that I sleep with other men as long as I don't get sick and always come back to him. I was so confused. Sure, if I was into polygamy, then that's cool, but I'm not and it just broke my self esteem after what he told me and how he treated me. He was one thing, but even my friends at work who are married all sleep with random people. Some even tried to sleep with me too and I just couldn't stand it lol. My Japanese mom was grossed out by that too, so I guess there are still Japanese men who think like most of us, but it's not common. :( oh well.
Pretty fucked up how people give into their desires instead of staying faithful to one partner, I mean for people who are into polygamy I guess they just have different views on relationships
@@catpip_ Polyamory is different because it's completely consensual. And it's not just sex, it's also having a full relationship with other people. You can't force a monogamous person who you're in a relationship with to be in an "open relationship". If you were truly poly you'd explicitly ask before going further and look for other poly people who are interested in a full relationship. Cheaters just go behind their partner's back and expect them to trust afterwards.
Yes, it's way too common to see it in Japan for having sexual relations with another person other than your significant other. I believe a healthy relationship comes from the words "respect" and "loyalty" staying true to one another and only having such intimacy with one another. If this can't be fulfilled best to end the relationship than to suffer heartbreak for a long period of time honestly not worth it.
This is where "live and let live" gets you. There is no social disapproval. People are not willing to keep their friends in check when confronted with their moral misconducts. Interference is frowned upon and considered a more heinous act than cheating. But maybe there are no moral guidelines to begin with. They are known for their friendliness yes but politeness is just a front and says nothing much about morality.
how is Islam working for Iran? constant protests and beatings of local women because they don't wear a full hijab. Or Afghanistan? Notice how all the people are fleeing Afghanistan any chance they get.@@luckyyyinlove
It's just too scary how they think of cheating as normal. Here in Germany, it is not common to have many friends who cheat, of course there are always some that do, but overall not as much as in Japan apparently. I personally couldn't be friends with someone who cheats honestly. Especially because hurting someone's feelings by cheating is just too devastating and cruel in my opinion. So weird how society thinks in Japan and what they think is normal...://
I would have never guessed based on how respectful Japanese culture is in every other way. But I guess it makes sense as to why there population is dwindling now. Nobody trusts each other enough to marry and have kids.
Cheating in the west was normal up until recently it is in a man's nature to want to conquer as many women as possible, it doesn't mean they don't love their wife/ gf
@@ooooswain that’s not the case. It’s too expensive in first world countries to have kids. How do you idiots keep missing the point every time. The population has been increasing since 1950 and the culture has gotten less and less reserved
@@ooooswain japan has been about having many mistresses for a long time. It was the West that brought their culture in the late 1800s or a single significant other.
Dude I live here, it is very polite on the surface and then some, but behind closed doors, many are very racist and since 99% are thin, when they see a typical overnight Westerner and look down on them. My Japanese hubby often says he hates Americans and makes fun of them, especially the American woman he feels is loud and overly opinionated. But if he sees a foreign woman here, he will stare and may just want to try something exotic but no real longterm respect for the woman, he will eventually tell her, when she isn't submissive and accepts all, that she is typical American woman he hates. It's a weird culture. BTW I'm half Japanese-American. But let me tell you, if you asked him for directions, you will find the most polite man ever and think what a wonderful person. I think it was common of quite a number of Japanese wives to stop sex after the children came and for men to take care of their business elsewhere and they accepted it to keep up with appearances for family. But times are modernizing and a growing number of young Japanese are getting loose with sexual moralities. But not all, I know people married to fantastic Japanese husbands. @@ooooswain
As a South Asian myself, it's crazy to witness how Japan views this whole concept of cheating and prostitution in the way they do. Cheating and prostitution are such taboo subjects in my country and culture and if anyone ever cheats on their partner or gets sexually involved with some prostitutes, they'll be shunned by the family and society around them and will be ashamed for their deeds for the rest of their life. Back then, I always thought Japan also viewed them as the same (since both my country and Japan are Asian countries, so I thought they would somewhat share the same values and ideology regarding marriage, relationships, family bonding, and stuff like that...) But damn!! Look at these different perspectives and point of views. It's so scary how they consider cheating or prostitution as a normal thing in their day to day life.
@@RadenWA Arranged marriages are rare now among the upper class and middle class people. It's an outdated concept to them, and they tend to marry their partners they date either since high school or college. Arranged marriage is just only a thing now among the lower class people or people who live in rural areas, but that's also changing recently. And also, what arranged marriages have to do with cheating on partners or getting involved with prostitutes anyway? 😑
@@iffatbushrasuhi2860 South Asian culture is just entirely different from East Asian culture. I just don’t get the view “we’re both Asians so we’re similar”, we just can’t use our way of thinking to comprehend how other cultures does things. Just like how I can’t comprehend how people live with arranged marriages, caste system or polygamy, the same I think about Japan and cheating and prostitution, of course these are all just things I hear from media and never lived in myself. For all I know, “prostitution” in Japan is very different from other countries because it can’t include sex by law, so it is mainly just “service” like by hand and such. Personally for me, if it is possible for people to have their marriage arranged, or for women to be fully covered up and never let out without her husband, and they admit to still be “happy”, or for westerners to openly admit they are divorced 3++ times, who am I to judge when a Japanese couple knows each other cheating or using “services” and are still okay.
When one of the guys said there was a large turnover rate in relationships, to me that sounds so sad. It sounds like it would produce a lot of paranoia in relationships. That sounds so stressful to be going in and out of relationships😢
This is baffling to me! I knew that Japanese relationships were hardly ever as involved as 'Western' ones but had no idea that cheating especially at younger ages was that common. It does seem to be that all their answers with cheating seem to revolve around sex. One guy said that they may have higher sex drive but I think it's lack of communication in the bedroom and probably women not being as keen on sex as women typically enjoy emotionally positive sex more than the act. Then how fulfilling will that also be for men if they're seeing the women in this case as an object to fulfil their needs instead of a romantic partner. With public display of affection also been shunned its no wonder people feel embarrassed or restricted to not developing a deeper loving bond with their partners.
This is honestly so shocking that they think like this.. "if they pay for it or if their partner doesn't find out it's not cheating"... coming from a society that's known for being respectful, it's scary learning about this hidden side
No they dont. Cheating as defined by western standards has been a part of japanese culture for 1000's of years. Love and marriage is more of a contractual obligation and sex is seen as being somewhat separate from love (love being a deep emotional connection and commitment to another) so if you can have sex while still honoring those commitments and not emotionally investing in another then many japanese dont consider it to be cheating. Japanese birthrate decline is mostly from overwork and economic decline
@@jonsimpson7348 what's wrong with you mate lol you love leaving comments about liars. IMO, Chinese, and Korean they are better at doing that. I do not usually give a f about nationality but since I saw this video and some comments, I might as well just join this labelling! I watch any sports, and I feel like Japanese play fair compared to them.
I knew that a lot of Japanese people suffer from loneliness. I always thought it manly because they dedicate so much time and energy to be at work and that in their culture it is more difficult to be once authentic self and thus one is not really seen that much. Wich I guess can make someone really lonely. But that apparently most people cheat on one another puts this whole issue to another level! Sounds like it is very difficult to find someone with whom you can build a trusting, loving relationship and life 😢
Please take into account that the interview had been conducted in the izakaya area of Shibuya (from what it looks like) and the people asked had been drunk guys in their early twenties (judging from their body language, style and time of the day). If you are not aware, Shibuya is basically the biggest "hitting on girls" spot during night time within a certain age range. The results are not surprising at all. Still, I'd agree that cheating is much more "accepted" in an "avoiding deeper issues" matter here in Japan. Having explored several dating apps myself I just find that hearing some other perspectives (of non party ppl maybe) would have been interesting.
I was thinking while watching the video that all the interviewees were from the same demographic. Would have been interesting to see some women interviewed on the subject.
he said that he's releasing a video where he asked women the same question, im assuming he just wanted to make a seperate video for women and men@@illdie314
A few years ago, Pew conducted a study ranking Japan 7th among countries where cheating was considered ‘morally acceptable.’ In a society in which marriage is treated much more as an instrumental partnership than as an enduring romance, a common attitude of both sides seems to be "Don't ask, don't tell" or "If you're going to cheat, do a meticulous job of ensuring that your partner doesn't find out."
Every single video with this theme from Japan blows my mind. There is no concept of actual love and respect, it's truly bizarre and and they're very nonchalant about it, sad stuff honestly.
whether it’s culture or something else. That’s literally messed up…especially when the partner doesn’t know that. They’re laughing about the fact that Japanese people are “cheating”, as if it’s a joke. Sry actually NOT sorry, that I can’t comprehend this kind of Mindset. Imagine yourself being in such a situation 🤯
I assume that it has something to do with the societal expectations to get married and have kids by a certain age so instead of finding a girl that they love they just end up with someone they don't actually love.
It's the smiling and laughing for me too. Like it's something to be proud of. I don't want to judge though, I just don't understand why it seems to be a medal or badge of honor. I would like to know can the women do the same and laugh about it too, without being called a bunch of sl*ts and wh*res?
Because it's a carryover from their traditionalist culture and society that reinforces misogyny. Look through old Japanese media (hell, even some current) and you'll find a lot of women are treated as temptresses and punished for this, but men are given a slap on the back for being caught They simply view women as lesser in the equation and this is reflected in their politics too, when the government recently announced plans to increase birth rate by... bringing women into the agonizing work force conditions they refuse to mandate?
I'm not a very religious person, but I believe it's because they aren't a Christian nation. Christianity teaches everyone at a young age that simple things like cheating is bad. It's engrained in us over many generations.
My opinion (heavily) is the pressure there to perform, do well, be successful hits a point where it has to spill over somewhere. I think if you suppress your truth and what makes you happy, you’ll have to find it wherever you can get it. I’m certainly not in alignment with this, but it is fascinating.
Wha-??? “It’s not cheating if its not caught” the same could be said for anything else, murder, stealing etc etc in the end you are exactly that common sense. For a country who prides itself in politeness, respect and discipline they sure know how to normalize heinous acts such as this one smh
Now what I would find an interesting follow up interview is to ask people what they think about the concept of open relationships and/or polyamory. If cheating is fine with everyone, so sex outside of relationships kind of normal, couldn't they just sit down with their partners and agree that they're goign to be honest about it and make it equal rights for both?
I at least respect the person who said Japanese people are good at hiding things. They love evading anything that calls them out on their bs. Just another society with issues as anywhere else.
This just makes me feel proud of the place I live in where love, marriage and relationships is given top priority and cheating is considered as sin. I wonder what their description of love is.
Japanese views on cheating are so wildly different from the US. In the US, if someone finds out you're cheating--even your best friend, neighbor, coworker, etc-they will feel morally obligated to tell your partner. People will hate you for being a cheater. And prostitution definitely counts as cheating. For a lot of couples (not all) in Japan, once you get married, it's like sex is only for making children. I cannot wrap my head around how divorced sex and marriage are. The first time I came across this insane view, I was a teen listening to a podcast of two older Japanese women talk about their husbands, saying, "Oh, if my husband was cheating, I wouldn't want to know." You'd NEVER hear that in the US because it would mean your marriage is based on lies. Luckily, there are people--though perhaps a minority--that consider cheating awful, prostitution/physical contact with another person to be cheating, and sex to be important in marriage.
Cheating happens here in the UK but its still frowned on. Ive worked with at least half a dozen men who have broken off friendships with other men because those other men have cheated on their wives or girlfriends. Same girls I know have done the same with their cheating friends. Also, I know of an entire family (brothers, aunts and uncles, parents and sisters) who refused to speak to their cheating relative. They weren't religious, just a close knit family with shared values. I know a family of three brothers who when one of the brothers cheated with prostitutes, his other two brothers refused to have anything to do with him and in all these cases the spouse/partner being cheated on was told. I'm not saying there aren't some people who ignore it but such behaviour is still viewed by people as a whole, as contemptible. Sad and shocking that its is so widely accepted in Japan. I note there are comments here from some people saying cheating doesn't hurt if the person you are unfaithful to doesn't know. So, your husband/wife or long term partner lying to you in this context is okay? What about if they are stealing from you? A convicted and still practicing criminal? A drug addict? Where exactly do these people who say 'lying' is okay if you don't get found out draw the line? What if you sleep with someone who hates them and who will revel in sleeping with their partner, is that not disloyal on an even worse level? What if you talk about them to the person you are cheating with, is that okay? Where do the cheats draw the line? Do they have no lines? Are best friends and siblings a no go? What about STDs, risking pass these on to your partner or unborn child, that's okay is it? Cheaters live in a fantasy world where they coast along on the slick effluence of oblivious self indulgence then they end up in the crap along with everyone else including their kids, family and friends. I've seen and experienced it from the child's point of view. It took years for me to learn not all men are like that to their wives. My father and his brothers and father almost taught me the opposite lesson.
I see other channels interview young Japanese on their thoughts on this issue. I would like if someone would interview Japanese elders on their thoughts about cheating.
It's gonna be the same, if not worse. It's like a generational trauma thing, it's the elders that instilled these values onto us. And most women in Japan back then didn't have a leg to stand on and had no choice but to "allow" their husbands to cheat.
Once you cheat it will never stop. Its a cycle which many people cant stop. Please find yourself a partner who loves and cherish you as much as you cherish her. And find someone with principles.
I feel that their idea of prostitution not being classified as 'cheating', is circumstantial logic (and rather self-indulgent). I think they would feel *very* differently if their girlfriend wanted to hire a male escort...
IDK, my Japanese hubby doesn't want to have sex with me cuz I gained weight at menopause, I'm half-Japanese-American. He told me go find a lover. Yet he totally hugs, kisses and cuddles me. If I demand it he will have sex but I don't want it that way, I'm losing interest in him as a husband, maybe just a friend. He asks me can't I accept no sex, after just one year of marriage? He was like a 57 year old virgin who lived off porn. He pretended to be normal while we dated. I kid you not, day after marriage, in Japan, he introduced his real self. I asked where is the guy I was dating and he said that was the dating version of him, I asked and who are you now? He said "The married version." I said so you lied??? He said everyone lies. I dated men all over the world, but Japanese men Uggghh!!!!
Now I get why my mom (Japanese woman) married my dad who is from Brooklyn. The logic is different. It just doesn't make sense in Japan when it comes to relationships + sexuality ...
I know many Japanese people and they are usually wonderful and kind. The fact of the matter is, that although people in Western countries would normally classify prostitution as cheating, it is probably just as common as it is in Japan. I don't really see a difference.
It is not. In my country prostitution is legal to a certain extend but if you get caught, if you even get seen with a prostitute, your life is over@@mariahiller
@@mariahillerno it’s not. 😂you don’t get western culture then.. no one in their right mind thinks that at all.. and going to prostitutes etc.. is pretty shameful in most peple eyes.. its not as common.. i dont kow where you live.. but no.. that is 1000% not true at all.
@@ramonsuter7435ya.. liek.. its litealrly seen as last resort bottom of the barrel.. you’re done.. in your families eyes, friends eyes, workers eyes.. Again, I’ve never heard anyone gaining anything from cheating and proudly saying it’s ok.. especailly in the west ( unless you’re in that clubbing culture
Can’t wait to see what the girls say about it. But I’d like to know what men would think if their girlfriends do the same thing… if it’s just a matter of having just a physical act with no emotions involved, would they think the same for women as they think for themselves?
I think women are probably less likely to admit it as openly as men. But if an equal number of women aren't cheating, then who are these men cheating with? Each other? Especially if they're all saying that sleeping with prostitutes doesn't constitute as cheating. Are there a hundred Japanese women out there cheating with the 99.9% of all Japanese men who cheats? Like it’s their full-time job to cheat and they literally do nothing else?
The one guy asked that question responded that you could flip the genders and it would be no different. That's probably a commonly shared view there based on how the other responses went.
Can you interview in more rural areas like Saitama and Chiba prefecture. I think you got almost 100 percent answers because you asked in Shibuya. I feel like even if it’s high, the answer should be around 80 percent maximum. Speaking as someone who has been living in Japan for 15 years here!
How would some of these guys would feel if they themselves were cheated on or their lovers hired their own prostitutes? "Everyone is doing it, so it's okay" is a crap explanation for one's own behaviors and values, and you just wonder if anybody ever wishes for a world where people in relationships are by default honest and genuine and aren't promising or implying faithfulness and monogamy when they can't really guarantee it.
As a person who lived in Japan for a year I can easily say that females(in my opinion) don't care about relationships more than men. They are having relationships to show off, for the status. They can change a partner in a second, even after dating somebody for a year. Truly disappointing side of Japan
You do realise that Japanese women do the same, right? "ever wishes for a world where people in relationships are by default honest and genuine and aren't promising or implying faithfulness and monogamy when they can't really guarantee it." - Who's values are these that you want the entire world to follow? Grow up and realise that your values aren't inborn, they're not natural. They're just taught. They're not universal.
I've seen one where Japanese girls were answering similar questions and I was surprised to see they said the same things. Of course, it could be selective but in other countries you would have to look damn hard for people who would say that going to a prostitute is not cheating.
Many men actually think this secretly but would never say it because this opinion is oppressed in Western societies. Many men that visit brothels in Europe are actually married men. All Western societies totally over dramatize the whole cheating thing. As a German I also believe that cheating isn't as problematic as people always try to make it.
It's so funny because if the first friend says 'no' to have you ever cheated, all the friends will hide as well. but if the first friend answers yes, then all of them will admit to it.
In my opinion, cheating is probably as rampant in my own country as it is in Japan, but one major difference is that when it is discovered its definitely disapproved of by the person who's been wronged and even societally. However, despite that disapproval, its common to hear of women that choose to stay with their partners after the fact while men are much less forgiving of it (even if they've literally cheated before themselves). Also, societally where I'm from, there is this underlying idea that if a man cheats its fine and the women should forgive them because it was probably their fault he stepped out of the relationship. its a norm thats slowly being challenged I think but its still very rampant. That said, personally infidelity is damaging to oneself and the other person, accepting it is also damaging to both parties so if at the very least you can't commit then just don't and be casual with people (thats not ideal but at least you aren't pretending to commit)
and I've heard quite some american women say that if a woman cheats, it must be the man's fault. There are american shows like Sex/ Life where they send the message that cheating on your husband is women empowerment and through cheating, you are defying "patriarchy" Women who are loyal are inauthentic and "pick me". Just see Jada and Will Smith video where the wife is openly disrespecting her husband on national television.
My man was so mad at their answers, he’s not Japanese btw. In my family, we had two cheaters - the first is my father, the second is my aunt’s almost ex-husband (she’s going through a divorce rn).He was there, where this drama between the aunt and her husband has started. So he considered this man as a dirty clown, who’s not allowed to this family. And I agree. We know what betrayal is, so that’s the main reason why we are honest with each other. Hope this will continue like that.
So my next question would be... What is the meaning of being in a relationship there? What is the purpose of a commited relationship? And is cheating still considered wrong then?
It could be anything couldn’t it? Trying to get your parents off your back; it’s not uncommon for parents to ask their children why they’re not married yet. Some people might want a maid or a bank account. Traditionally love marriages weren’t really a thing I believe. It’s a new concept so that’s why people think certain things are ok.
@@Mizuyah True, I think it's more like a societal pressure to get married by 30 or so, or people will look at you in a bad way, and we know in the Japanese culture saving face is a big thing...
This is an insightful look into the darker side of Japan. Japan is often represented as a well mannered, hardworking, wonderful country. But the truth is, behind the charade, they have sides which the world are unaware about. To be honest, this has put tarnish in the way i see Japan and especially the Japanese people. Though personally, I'd struggle to trust especially Japanese men, in all forms of any relationship.
In Brazil, really unfortunately in the 40's, people used to think that cheating was normal, especially with marriage couples. Nowadays women really despise that time, cheating (with whoever it is) is equivalent of "people repelling", people always end up knowing what the person did, and usually that develops to such a bad reputation that it even stop them from getting a job at some cities, besides people despise a lot and don't want them even as neighborhoods. As a Brazilian and a woman, is shocking sad to see that this kinda of mindset imersed in Japan's culture.
"i feel Japanese men are less passionate." That must explain why many young Japanese women are attracted to Korean pop-idols or Korean men in general. Speaking of Korean men, on a business trip to Seoul, my Korean husband was invited by one of his closest friends to go to a hotel to sleep with prostitutes. He refused and told me about it afterwards. Sometime later, that friend visited us in America and I let him know that I knew what he'd done. Why? Because I wanted him to be aware that an honest and faithful marriage is possible. Ashen faced, he asked my husband why he had told me. My husband didn't respond, but I'm sure the friend figured it out. Thirty years later, my husband and I are still happily married.
It's not just Korean men. Some Japanese women go after foreign men in general because they dislike the emotionless, distant vessels Japan calls men. Of course, a lot of them don't end in success because of cultural differences and a language barrier, but not all of them.
@@ImGonnaFudgeThatFish Agreed. I actually know of such a couple. The Japanese woman married an old American friend of mine some three decades ago and that married has lasted. It didn't hurt that my friend is a Japanophile who speaks Japanese.
@@ImGonnaFudgeThatFish As a white man who lived in Japan, I didn't really get that impression. Many Japanese women do not speak English. And it's quite common to see Western men so there's nothing mysterious anymore. Many behave like colonists which doesn't help. And of course, many Western men have a superiority complex and think that they are better than Japanese men, which makes the situation even worse. There is still a minority of women called "Gaijin Hunter" who is interested in foreign men but it is a minority of women.
That guy encouraging your husband to do that is a direct attack on you and the relationship you and your husband worked to build up. People not understanding what a relationship really is, is the start of so many problems.
Well said. I actually liked that guy in other respects, and I realize that he had few role models upon which to base a beautiful relationship of his own.
Very interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing what Japanese women have to say on the subject. At least from the men's side, it almost seems as though many Japanese women are looking for an emotional relationship, but not a physical one, and that prostitution is an approved way of letting their husbands/boyfriends deal with their sex drive. Then again, we guys are really good at reading into situations what we want to read into them. It will be interesting to hear the women's views. The whole, sex thing, seems to be a lot more complicated in Japan than most other places.
I'm pretty sure the women feel like they don't have much of a choice, if they want to settle down. This may explain why the birth rate and marriage is steadily declining there. The influence of western cultures are possibly enlightening them to how abnormal this behavior is elsewhere and they realize they don't necessarily have to accept it.
I'm a woman and I want both an emotional and physical relationship. I can not have either one missing. Men tend to think women don't want sex which is silly. A lot of us do but society for a long time shamed us for it. But if course that is all changing now. I know some women in Japan cheat because their husbands are lousy and selfish in bed.
This honestly both disgusts me (as a non-Japanese person) and fascinates me (because I recognize that it seems to be cultural). It's not the first street interview I've seen on this topic but the responses were pretty much the same. I feel like in other countries, women view both the emotional and physical acts as cheating and it's interesting to find that Japanese women might really be okay with being physically cheated on as long as it's not emotional. I could not ever consider dating a Japanese man myself, after seeing multiple interviews like this. I also have to wonder if Japanese society sees cheating as a normal act, a lot of these men are clearly lying about not having done it themselves. If it's normal, why do they act as if they have something to hide? Also, laughed out loud at the guy who said maybe Japanese men have a higher sex drive than other countries. Nah sorry, that's not it, try again.
Well it doesn't happen immediately after marriage but a lot of Japanese women withhold sex after marriage or they'll go into mom mode and won't have sex. It usually happens during early 40s. Then I have seen many Japanese men going to prostitutes. Their wives are fine as long as they are with a prostitute and spend in control. If wife isn't providing sex then the husband shouldn't suffer. Same vice versa.
@@gohan12991 It's really kind of sick to blame it on the wives and say it's fine to cheat if the wife isn't providing sex, like it's her fault and her duty to do that and the husband is a victim...even if you say vice versa it's just...I get that it's cultural but it still gives me the ick.
@@hongjoongsbutterfly so what should the husband do to fulfill his needs? Masturbation isn't same as sex. There's no human intimacy there. People in these situations become very frustrated and then start ignoring their spouses. It creates resentment. Atleast if the husband is getting sex outside the house he can still love his wife and give her attention.
@@gohan12991 My god, I should have remembered men are all disgusting before I commented... You are NEVER entitled to someone else's body, even when in a relationship.
Although I DO agree that many men in Japan cheats, I feel like the guys you chose to interview were a bit biased. Try interviewing guys in Akihabara or in the countryside because you’ll get different answers depending on the place and time you interview them! For example, you’ll have a different kind of population if you go to Akihabara in midday compared to Shibuya at midnight. I feel like this time, you went around asking guys at an area where bunch of guys go play/fool around. Just my opinion. But like I said, I did notice more of a “cheating culture” when I was in Japan compared to America.
And Americans just hide better and do more drastic things if caught like shooting and killing each other or worse. 😂 Worse is chopping off offending organ. 😂.
I am a Japanese person who was born and raised in Japan but has been living in the United States for 10 years. In Japan, there's a unique perspective that it's somewhat inevitable for popular men to cheat to a certain extent, and even if they're married, visiting commercial sex workers is somewhat acceptable for men. However, in America, there are many women who won't tolerate casual sex or infidelity, regardless of whether the man is attractive or popular. Many men are aware of this and adjust their behavior accordingly, fearing divorce. Therefore, the proportion of attractive men who are popular but have never cheated is much higher in the US than in Japan. I believe this is largely influenced by Christianity. Even if someone isn't Christian, the society at large has been greatly influenced by Christian values.
U think ppl don’t cheat cuz they ‘fear divorce’, no they don’t. Not everything is logistical. They don’t cheat cuz of basic human decency. U really need to educate urself
That's just because there's more attractive men in the US to choose from, attractive Japanese men are so rare women feel the need to share them I guess.
I agree, it comes down to morals and values and none of them talked about God or their beliefs. Adultery is a sin and if they were Christian they would be embarrassed to admit they cheated
TOKYO GUIDEBOOK
takashifromjapan.com/tokyocompleteguide
If more Japanese women gave their man more sex, would he still cheat?
I am a Japanese man in my 40s, a business owner. I am ashamed as a Japanese to see this interview and at the same time I have to admit it as a reality. In fact, the business owners around me, married men, view cheating as a casual act. They think that as long as their wives do not find out about the cheating, there is no problem. Some of them also believe that it is natural for a capable man to date more than one woman, and they also think it's just like in nature for a man with superior genes to date numerous women. Cheating is an act of killing the partner's heart and a betrayal to yourself. I believe that people who cheat easily betray me as well, so the moment I discover their cheating, I try to stop the transaction and bring my own heart to a safe place.The rotten values that infest Japan are repulsive.
I view that as an infinite loophole of collectivism. The fact that you feel ashamed for others' bad moral, means that you are not freed. The Japanese identity is so strong that, people would rather be a proud but pathetic Japanese, than being *insert your name here* and stay strong with belief.
Meanwhile in America, there's always some most degenerate people, and there's always some people living their beautiful lives with their belief.
@@wongwaijeremy You are right, I am not free from the group of Japanese. As a nation that has been composed of a single ethnic group for 2000 years, many Japanese feel a stronger sense of identity with their home country than with other countries. On the other hand, I live according to my conscience and make it a rule for me not to associate with such people (who do not feel that cheating is wrong). And there are so many people who, like me, disagree with the wrong values prevailing in society. But we don't needlessly clash with them. Now, every country has its good and bad sides. For example, drugs are not as prevalent in Japan as they are in the U.S., and there are no mass shootings. This is because the collective conscience is at work in Japan and most people consider drugs and gun use to be evil.
You’re smart. As an American woman when I see these Japanese men and I hear your story I am hearing a culture that has been devastated by their former polygamist past. Polygamy is very barbaric and evil and no society where women are treated as human beings is polygamy practiced. I am from the American state of Utah and there are many Mormon polygamist here. I have seen first hand the horrors that come with men having more then one wife. They always neglect their kids and wives and you will see the wives and kids going thru the trash for food because the men have so many lovers they can’t provide for all of them. Every kid who was raised a polygamist you can always know isn’t gonna cheat if they’ve left the cult bc you know that men having multiple partners actually traumatized them and ruined their childhoods. I have a friend who was raised in a polygamist family and he said it best, “men who cheat and men who think they deserve multiple partners are insecure narcissist that need to have the attention of women to feel validated. They have to have the attention of the very people they loathe and disrespect so much and it’s an oxymoron”
Thank you for your post. It's good to know there might still be a few honorable Japanese men trying to guide the younger generation in a better way. This video is so sad, not only because of the women being betrayed, but because these oblivious guys don't understand how their actions will keep them from finding a true meaningful connection. Super sad.
I have a japanese friend who is two years older than me (26). He said that nowadays young people don't take relationships seriously and he also said that many men in Japan claim that marriage is just a status and as long as their wife doesn't find out, that they are cheating there's nothing wrong with it.
My question is that a man who is married and cheats on his wife and they say "this is a man's nature " or "i wants to have sex with more women as possible", why does such man get married in the first place?
Cheating is the most disgusting, hurtful and disrespectful thing you could do to someone you say you love.
@@Givebackthescarfyou don’t get it, sex isn’t just physical, why do you think it’s WAY worse when somebody r*pes you than physically assaulting you. Sex is more than just an urge, it’s emotional, psychological even spiritual so. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing shared between a couple for the purpose of making their relationship stronger and having children. Promiscuous sex however has proven to do far more harm than good to all parties involved and to cheat on someone you’ve committed to is one of the worst things someone can do as it betrays one of the deepest vows of trust someone can make. And if you’ve ever spoken to people in open relationships who allow their partners to cheat, usually to enabler suffers from insecurities or or different emotional forms of desperation. That part of Japanese culture needs to change as it doesn’t do the rest of it amazing history and culture Justice or anything at all.
You just have to understand that its not love they are talking about but lust
Um no you could do a lot worse. Watch the news once in a while.
@@dannielz6 wow you're redundant aren't you
@@aderpyproDid you have an actual point?
This is honestly one of the worst sides of Japanese society.
Seeing how casual they are about cheating. It's disgusting.
It makes me physically ill.
@@OneShotSlinger I believe you
@@ToTheTop-of1hr I was curious myself, so I actually looked it up. Studies show that up 50.8% of Korean men have cheated. Furthermore, 40.5% of Korean men don't view prostitution as cheating... The stats speak for themselves.
ありがとう！迷惑ない外人が減って嬉しいなー
Cheaters are the worst. This is who they’ve advertised to be the best human beings in the planet for being “respectful”.
If you want to cheat, just end the relationship. Don’t introduce the possibility of STDs to someone you claim to care about.
😮There's already probability for infection and disease when you're having sexual encounters with multiple people.
💯 agree with you ainokisu
correct, most of a japanese man doesnt care about their housewife that might get a STD
I agree but I have to mention if that’s actually you, you are fine asf
@@Colinwho That's a kpop idol
I’ve dated a few girls while living here and had one tell me that it was ok to go to another girl if I wanted sex…. as an American I thought, “what the actual hell?” Yeah that relationship didn’t last long. But I’ve also been intimate with a few girls I’ve dated and can tell you that the experience level of almost all of the girls I’ve dated has been legit close to 0. Some had never had boyfriends before and some had never dated a foreigner. The consistent story I hear is that they’ve had a couple of boyfriends that have either abused them in some way (especially sexually, and including taking photos/videos where they do their best to cover their face), or they are incredibly inconsiderate and never communicate unless they want sex that night.
It’s such a roller coaster that I can see why a lot of girls say they don’t want kids, don’t want to get married, or if they do, they settle for whoever shows them affection in any way and then end up in crap relationships where they get abused on any number of levels. I think many girls who say they are ok with prostitution say that because they think they aren’t good in bed and can’t satisfy their boyfriend or husband. In all honesty, from my experience, it’s been less than mediocre with some of the girls I’ve dated. Like actually thinking, “what is happening right now?” in the midst of it. But I would still say it’s not ok to cheat or go to prostitution. If you’re in it together for the long haul then half the fun of experiencing life together means you can grow together in that area too and communicate. But if you don’t care about her (or him) them just leave and go find someone else instead of cheating.
Im sorry but this aint a yappathon summarize ts
but arent you just the same as the other guys you are mentioning except for the fact that you dont "cheat"?
@@butchmagnus6927 I’m sorry this ain’t an kindergarten level comment… I’ll summarize for you… “yOuR sTuPiD”. I used your here instead of you’re for your convenience :)
@@aflowingbrook2919 LOL how the hell did you come to that conclusion? never cheated on anyone in my life. never been to or used any typed of prostitution or legal means of sex for money. you missing some brain cells? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@butchmagnus6927 he dated Jap girls and they are not experienced and like getting cucked. These woman will let anything slide, i.e. cheating, abuse, basically allowing the man to do anything he wants
There are many wonderful and admirable things about Japan.... but their outlook and culture around dating is not of them 😂
And they wonder why marriage and reproduction rates are in the basement...
Rape culture
I stopped looking at japanese same when I learned about tatame honnie culture, I am still shocked and disappointed, I hate double face and fake smiles
Maybe you aren’t that wonderful or admirable as you think you are.
@Chris HeartWhy do you want random people you don't even know to die?
My Japanese ex thought I was being "inconsiderate" if I don't let him cheat because he was so stressful at work, as if I don't have my own career. To my ex, woman's work is unimportant. He even felt jealous when I changed my job and asked "Is your title manager now?" to imply my job is a lower social status than his. (At that time, my yearly income is higher than him) In general, cheating to Japanese men is a one of act of power demonstration, telling the women to "know their place". 🙂 Totally fked up.
Well Japanese women cheat just as much a men. Blame the culture.
THIS! This is it!
Glad he's your ex!
He's 🗑️
it's crazy to think that this mindset has been considered normal. glad you're no longer with him
stay away from Japanese men if you want to keep your sanity 😅
Cheating so casually like that is also a huge health concern with STIs…like…how awful to potentially expose your partner who has no idea what you are doing.
I was wondering if this wasn't a concern
In Australia, cheaters are considered like scumbags. Marriages can break down if the husband or wife cheats, and some politicians have been forced to resign when it was found out they cheated on their partner.
Pretty sure you just described the western world at large, that's by no means exclusive to Australia. At least the cheating leading to divorce bit, politicians have a lot more leeway in some countries
Thats harsh. What rational reason is there for viewing a cheater as a scumbag? If my partner cheated on me I would be disappointed, but I would be far from hating them.
@@dannielz6 interesting take. I do think western society overplays the "evil" aspect of cheating a bit too much. But then again I certaintly would not tolerate it
LOL! Cheating is personal problem. I agree they are ostracized, but to the point of having to lose your job because of cheating? So unproffesional. Cheating has no correlation with politician job.
@@dannielz6most ppl see cheaters as scumbags..
“As long as you’re paying money, it’s not cheating.” My head hurts
Really? Hum I'm kinda agree with the idea, there's no feelings, they'll never meet again
@@plunemfg4509That's even worse than cheating with regular woman! I'll be mad if my bf waste the money for sex, risk me with a disease, no dignity for having sex with someone who had been touch by many random guys.
There are people who cheat and have a one-night stand with someone they have no feelings for and did not pay them. What's the difference? Just because it is transactional does not make it ok. Feelings or not it's cheating regardless. Unless the person talks with their partner in the beginning about these things and it's agreed upon, then it's not okay.@@plunemfg4509
@@shukriramleeWhy do you assume dignity is involved? Not every sex worker is a sex worker with issue with dignity. It’s just their job, their way of making money.
@@RachelPun Sex worker is not the problem. The problem is the 'customer' who pay for the service. You can't even treat your wife/ gf with 5 dollar shirt but pay 200 dollar for sex service and a f disease! And the 'customer' know that sex worker had sex with thousands of other random people. The 'customer' got no dignity at all!
I’m Chinese (overseas) lived in Japan for a few years. It is from my understanding that 80% of Japanese couples cheat on each other and that’s not an exageration. I’ve dated Japanese girls that ended up cheating on me, I’ve also ended up with girls that cheated on their partners (or i suspect) on me, of course after realizing this I ended the relationship. Most Japanese see love and sex as two different things, you can love someone and still cheat on them, and you can have sex with someone without any emotional attachments involved. Yes other countries do cheat, even Chinese girls, but I think Japanese are the worst because there is no honesty and truth in their relationships. I love Japan, it is a great country but the Dark Side of things like this made me leave. The lack of human connection with other people and lack of basic human decency is actually disgusting. Not generalizing because there are exceptions to the rule, anyways I’m out of Japan now and I feel much more happier.
CHEATING CULTURE Is reason behind thier low birth rate after all.
Im half Thai half chinese ( grew up in thailand but worked with japanese ppl) , this mentality of seperating seems to be for many ppl. I worked in germany many years and some ppl who live here (mostly not ethnically germans but turkish men, who are the main foreigners in germany) that also difference sex from love and in work were sometimes talking about them loving theyr gf but cheating.
Anyways one japanese i worked the longest with (who was actually very loyal to his wife and anyways was always more quite and shy in front of nonjapanese ppl, with that i just mean he talked more with his own ppl at our work, his german was fluent so i guess he just prefered to talk japanese). So , the thing is this, your comment is interesting to me,… bcs one time we had this topic about a video (same topic as this video and also about cheating)
So Hiro ( i will name him like this as i do not want to use his real name) kind of listened to ,what we were talking about. I was currently telling others about the video and the cheating topic in japan and anyways while doing that hiro was also going to say something. He said that all these videos are ˋˋare staged and japanese ppl dont do this kind of stuffˋˋ… some in oir group believed him about the videos being fake anyways and that japanese dont cheat…
It was kind of ridiculous to me and buggles me to this day, cause why would he defend that the videos are fake and cheating ˋˋactuallyˋˋ doesnt exist in japan. I didnt say anything about it, i only thought like, come on, you can fool others , but not me , theres millions of japanese ppl and you tell me none of them cheat ?? I guess he didnt want any kind of negative opinions about his country, still was ridiculous cause theres no country on earth where ˋˋALLˋˋ ppl dont cheat….
That the videos are fake or staged i was ofcourse only a assumption from him, bcs he has 0 evidence that all these vids are fake (some maybe but all of them. …no) and i think he only said that to ˋˋconfirmˋˋ that ˋˋno wayˋˋ that any japanese would cheat. Or maybe he actually bröieves that as he himself is extremly loyal to his wife. He never talks to females only if he has to , he never touched any of us with this i mean stuff that sometimes happens with ppl , hugging, handshake (sure in japan its bowing down etc but hes in germany in that time where this is different) he doesnt look at women at all ,but also ONLY if he has to (in our work we do glass/porcelain art, so we talk but dont have to look at eachother, so he really only had to do it if we had to talk about a project that we had to eork on together sometimes).
Very well said. Lack of decency. Yes. Agree 1000%
@@mxd-1990asn the impression I get is that if you are THAT avoidant of women to the point of not even having eye contact with them...and you respond that quickly and sternly about a topic of conversation that you weren't even part of, (especially if he was very shy like you said), then you are definitely hiding something and therefore overcompensating in this way to further hide it.
Seems fishy to me 🐟
Women also that is very normal,if it is not said paid and written you may do it.
For a country who put honor, loyalty and discipline in their work/career as crutial life motto, it's really tragic how they view sex, love & intimate commitment in their life. No wonder less and less women want to have children or getting married.
I mean, they're one of the most sexist countries out there, so, not so surprising 😅
i agree 1,000%
To be fair, he's interviewing a handful of people out of the 125.7 million population. Could also differ outside of big cities like Tokyo where there's much more outside influence.
they were talking about a relationship.
I think you haven't watch the other side of the Issue. Cheating as whole is not a man's only thing in Japan, it's universal, meaning both genders participate in it. There are many contents on RUclips who tackles this issue and you'll be surprised on how many of them (men and women) think it's acceptable.
I’m Japanese so for me, it’s not surprising at all. I’m sick of this kind of culture or misogyny.
Actually, it is one of the reasons why I left Japan.(Currently living in the UK)
Strange thing about this is as some guys on this video mention, somehow many women accept it.
And some women think accepting boyfriends’/partner’s cheating makes them to feel like they are understanding girlfriends/partners.
As a woman, I think it comes from lack of self esteem.
If you have healthy level of self esteem or relationship you would not accept a person who makes you feel like sh*t.
In my opinion, the biggest factor of this cheating thing in Japan is based on misogyny, but lack of communication in relationships is one of the factor as well.
In the comments some people saying like this interview was taken in night time in Shibuya and they’re tipsy early 20s guys so their answers cannot be majority opinions.
I know their point, but to be honest, if you wanna get real/true opinions from Japanese people, this situation was best.
Many Japanese people say their opinions indirectly and are very good at pretending to be nice all the time so doing interviews in this situation was best. Well done Takashi san.
And also I don’t think there would be so much difference between city and countryside on this matter. Countryside can be more misogynistic and furthermore it can be worse because some people think women should ignore partner’s cheating due to more social pressure than city.
I am German and I had an affair with a married fellow student girl at university. We had no intend to hurt anybody. We just loved each other.
Cheating is normal and the statistics prove it.
That's why saying "one of the reasons why you left Japan" doesn't make sense at all. If I learned one lesson from travelling different countries at my very young age, that lesson would be that male genetics work exactly the same no matter where you are on this planet.
I think the real problem about cheating is that we are told that cheating is bad from a very young age. We only know this opinion. It's hammered into our heads.
We are never told that cheating is normal or not so bad. Or that cheating can be even good.
Just in the recent year, you can find more and more articles in newspapers etc. - at least in Germany - that talk more openly about cheating and that cheating isn't as bad as people try o make it.
Overwork is surely a major factor
This country and people is is so Fked up.
@@destroyermaker more like porn and fetish
great insight
This is so disappointing, no wonder why they have no kids anymore. They think it's like this in other countries, I live in Europe (Belgium) and for my friends cheating is outrageous, not the normality
I really got to move to Switzerland or Belgium. I want a real marriage. My Japanese husband stopped sex after one year because I gained weight. And he refuses to work and I pay all the bills. i would never stop sex because a man didn't earn enough $. He told me can't you accept a sexless marriage, he claims it's common in Japan when you get older, he told me go ahead and find a lover. I said what if I fell in love with the lover and wanted to marry the lover, he said that would be very sad. WTF. I can't take it!!!!! btw I am half-Japanese.
@@eri7-11 What did you honestly expect from a society that essentially raises men to expect women to defer to them and look kawaii? Even if you had stayed slim, he would have still done something to disrespect the union.
@@eri7-11i will say it again.
MOVEEEEEEEE NOW🤣🤣🤣🤣
Time for you to grow up.
Wow, im swiss and im shook. Here men cheat too but if they get caught they are cancelled. Men who cheat are seen as boyish, dumb, silly and immature. So when you get cheated on you basically have everyone on your side.@@eri7-11
I am culturally shocked by this. In the Philippines, when you cheat, you're considered a despicable person. Usually, your family or even friends would get mad at you if they know you cheated on someone. Which would leave a bad impression that would stick with you in the long run. I've been cheated on before, and I would like to say that it hurts so much. The trust that we built up, just suddenly perished. Btw, prostitution here is illegal, so it is considered cheating if you're committed to someone and you go there. When you have sex with someone other than your gf/bf or wife/husband, that is cheating. Our country is composed mainly by Roman Catholics so cheating and even having sex before marriage is a big no no. However, maybe because it's the modern days already, I noticed some people having sex even before marriage. Still, that's maybe only 10%. We have different views on this because we grew up in different environments. I do respect everyone's opinion. I hope that each of us try to understand where we're coming from.
Very well said , cheaters in the Philippines can still enjoy life but whenever and wherever they are , they will always be seen as a despicable human being with no conscience whatsoever. So if you are a Filipino reading this and you want to cheat , I will warn you now that you will be called a walking "red flag" here whenever and wherever you go😂. You can still have friends but no girl will take you seriously here if you have a past of cheating.
Thanks for your comment! I was just thinking if they do not see cheating as something bad because the foundation of their culture is not Judeo-Christian as it is in Western countries, and your comment seems to corroborate my thought.
@@CjComments Haha! That's true. Cheaters would be known as a walking red flag 🚩
@@Tsukiyomi_ Yeah, I do think religion is a big factor in this 🤔
I just want to clear something more about the "no girl will take you seriously if you are a cheater in the past" , Some girls that are "Low-Quality" will still go and have a relationship with you , but you will be having a hard time getting the "Wifey Material" Girl or Woman that every men wants to be with for the future. So Again I will say this , Don't cheat , just don't , even if you are bored with the relationship , just search the spark again together with your Girlfriend , if you ever feel bored , just go outside and touch some grass or eat your favorite food at your favorite restaurant or stare at the stars for 1 hour to rest and to find yourself and go home to meet up with your girlfriend again and hug her 😂 , At least that is what I will do , but you get the point HAHA.
I have lived in Japan, and what really happens is that this society has a huge communication problem. When they are young, they experience love like any society, people overflowing with love, kisses, and imagining life in colors. However, when they reach adulthood, they don't know how to handle adult relationships. They simply see each other as functional. The woman is there to reproduce, take care of the house and the children, and keep them healthy, while the man goes out to work and provides economic security. When you see them acting as parents, they only play the role of parents and always try to appear as 'the best,' as if they never make mistakes. But the truth is that they are in relationships for the sake of being in them, without any real feelings, and they are only together for the children and for social appearances. I have met couples who don't even know what their spouse likes. The emotional education in this country is a complete disaster. I can't imagine how it is in other countries like Korea, China, etc.
It means we when make port call, we got a whole weekend of pumping babies in Japanese housewives.
Based solely on my own observations and my peers, chinese men are the most loyal from the three and korean men can be too. they are not at all open to cheating like japanese society.
This is so true. There is such pressure to be married by 30, there are even apps for the purpose of finding a partner just to get married
South Koreans communicate a lot in relationships. Westerners would probably see it as obsessive and clingy. It’s like a constant thing. The fashion industry even makes clothing specifically for couples so they can have matching outfits. Japan and Korea are similar in some ways and extremely different in others.
This is an extremely well-written comment, should be higher up
I love how all the guys said everybody cheat except for themselves lol😂
bunch of liars. can't expect honesty from cheaters lmao
i didn't believe half of them for a second 😂
No different than all the self-righteous foreigners comments here...
I wouldn't cheat on you
I think it's safe to assume they have girlfriends and worry the video will be seen.
This is shocking. I’m disgusted by this. If you’re a cheater, it’s because you’re too much of a coward to live authentically
Insecurity or coward are buzzwords of the century.
People say this to anything they dislike. X said something I didnt like -> Insecurity.
Now I think cheaters are repulsive and shitty ppl,whether ur a guy or a girl I dont care but most of these people are not insecure or anything.
Maybe a few of them do it because they are insecure about their partner cheating first but that is a small percentage.
The main reason behind the cheating is fast-dopamine chasing.
Its simple. Even me as a man I've had sexual thoughts about different women or multiple women yet I dont act on those impulses because I have a girlfriend. People who tend to NOT enjoy slow gratification are the same people who do drugs or crave sexual variety.
The same people who are ok with slow gratification and not trying to pursue fast dopamine all the time are the ones having consistent relationships.
The best words to describe cheaters from a scientific perspective is "impulsive". But yeah I was also surprised about a lot of japanese men view on this topic.
I am pakistani and live in europe but cheating is so despised in our culture that no man with wife or girlfriend feels comfortable even having other sexual thoughts bc of how we were raised with such strong family values.
I was thinking Japan would hold cheaters accountable strongly because its a traditional country but the modernism of sexual liberation has made all of them think that sex is just a handshake and go around saying shit like "its ok if its prostitution bc there are no feelings". Its still sex though
Beautiful 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼exactly, I have always thought that same thing. I’ve had a few married colleagues try to start a relationship and the response is “why would you be attractive ? You’re too much of a puss$ to leave and call it but would rather try the weaker way?” An old person once told me “sh$t or get off the pot”
My authentic life is polyamorous bestie, you do you tho 🫶🥰
@@patterpiratethey said cheaters, if you’re polyamourous and everyone involved is in the know, you’re not cheating
or have the guts/self-esteem to be in an open relationship. These misogynistic men would eviscerate at the thought of their gf/wife sleeping with another man.
My Japanese friends from my uni in the EU told me this is why they are looking to live abroad or find a foreign husband. It's insane these guys think the woman are okay with it. They are mostly not, they are just culturally groomed (expression coming from one of the jp friends) to put up with family abuse, especially from guys. They are not equipped with the social skills to talk about their feelings or confront their husbands. They'd rather lie and say it is okay to avoid any sort of confrontation or go against what they think is the popular opinion.
he did an interview with Japanese women, and many of those women think the same way as men: prostitution is not cheating
Agreed. I’m a Japanese lady
日本でモテない女の負け惜しみだよ、あんたそれ
Absolutely. I think that's the main problem. The fact that they're taught that it's okay by their surrounding culture
@@korggg123 Yeah I believe the young's belief that prostitution is not cheating should be debunked. Their belief will bring them far worst outcomes than they can imagine
Its ironic because ive always thought about myself as a free man that does what he wants yet the idea of cheating has never, ever crossed my mind, mostly because my father raised me to take accountability for the decisions I make.
If i get married, I now have the responsability of doing my absolute best to make things works because even tho Im not a family man, I see family as something sacred and if Im not in for it 100%, then I should not have one in the first place.
If you are not happy with your relationship, talk it out, try to fix things and if things dont work, move on but do it properly and with dignity
Taking accountability can be lonely, but at least you wont have to lie to yourself to rationalize why you cheat or why its fine or culturaly normal to hurt your supposed loved ones.
Exactly!
Well said
You are an honorable, emotionally mature man.
Realest comment here.
Lol "free" aka bound by societal and moral constructs, keep obeying other men, you're nowhere near free
This is just so gross. Absolutely no respect for women or themselves. I know there are going to be good men in Japan...but the fact that the majority of them will cheat and not even feel bad...I would never consider dating a Japanese man for this reason alone. I have self-respect and I know my worth. This is so depressing.
Never say never 😂.
You might find a japanese man that you fall in love with.
Also not all japanese men are like that,yeah chances of cheating are high but doesnt change the fact that we shouldnt judge an entire group of people because some do it.
Its better to make decisions based on the knowledge we have.
Its like me saying I wont date american women because the divorce rate is really high.
Your generalisation excludes individual situations different from each other.
@@amukbir8777 I didn't generalize, though. I said there are good men in Japan, no doubt, but the fact that the number of men who are willing to cheat and see no issue with it is soooo high...yeah, I'm not very likely to date a Japanese man because how can you know he's not one of the men that will cheat no issue? You can't. You have to trust his word and statistics are against him. If he was someone I knew over a period of time and it was obvious he was a good man who doesn't cheat, that's different. But just a random man on the street...I wouldn't take the chance. You made an assumption that I'm American, though...not everyone on RUclips is American. 🤷🏼♀️
@@NsTheName the assumption about americans was not about you,its just an example so you can see that the logic is flawed.
@@NsTheName Also my friend. The rate of cheating and statistics about it show that japan is definitely in the top 10 of most cheating countries but The US,Germany,Denmark and the UK are top 4 in the world in terms of cheating.....should I stop dating germans and english people?
🤣
@@amukbir8777 Fair enough
Here's two good questions for the next interviews: Why do Japanese treat relationships so shallowly? If a couple were in a proper relationship and had a healthy mindset about sex then cheating (and prostitution) wouldn't be so prevalent. Why do Japanese not understand the emotional side of sex?
Because they are not taught that. We are fed the narrative of :have sex when you are ready and with somebody you love. Since being a young teenager. How do we make babies: well you know, when a man and a woman loves eachother… we have a very romantic vision of sex in the West, which i think serves us in a way but also end up in shaming casual sex havers, although it’s become ever less the case. With chrstianity we also had the view historically that sex was sacred, which is not the case in non monotheistic societies i think.
Because they are so secretive they aren't used of showing emotions and think being vulnerable is a flaw. But they feel forced to get married so they do it, but don't know each other feelings. that's why they don't even care if they are hurting the other. They are also encouraged to do it by each other like this video shows. Japan is extremely sexist so women are probably scared of being single or abused if they don't agree.
@@alexterieur8813 it’s not a narrative issue though. It’s been empirically documented that sex improves or maintains relationships.
A 10-year-old Pew Research study found that 70% of Japanese consider cheating immoral (in my contry, France, it's only 42%). A more recent one gives 75%. And 30% of Japanese men have cheated, that's about 15% for women. In France, 49% of men and 32% of women have cheated. I think Takashi could come to France to ask this question. 😂
Get off your high horse. Japanese have deep respect for family relationships and structure. Its the West that takes relationships and family "shallowly". You think like a child.
I appreciate your high quality content. You don't seem to cherrypick your interviews, it's all very candid. Sometimes it seems like Japanese people try to hide the downsides of their society, but you're very honest about it and that is refreshing.
Improvement never comes from hiding away from problems.
I asked the same questions to Japanese girls, will be uploaded soon!!
Stay tuned as usual!
broo I wanna come and visit you In Japan! I am from Cleveland, Ohio
Can you ask this question to japanese salarymen
Yay!
Any chance to get an older people's perspective on this matter?
Yeah, let us hear older people and also from different parts of the country! Maybe it’s different in rural areas?
Nice to see this topic covered! In my experience living over there for five years in Tokyo as an American woman, cheating is waaaay more common. Particularly guys cheating on girls, but I also feel like girls cheating on guys was much more common as well at least compared to the U.S. I worked as a bartender in Tokyo and would see guys with their wives there one night and then their girlfriends the next. Of course working at a bar in any country you are going to see more cheating behavior, but this was IMO way way way more prevelant in Japan than U.S., and in my own relationship experiences as well in both countries. I had two serious relationships with Japanese men, and both cheated. And one of the two actually thought it was my role to just "accept" it and still wanted us to get married, despite him cheating. Yeah....it's crazy. Never been cheated on by any other nationality person I've been in relationships with. It really is a strange phenomena in Japan.
gosh i felt my heart break reading this.. imagine being madly in love with your partner and idk preparing a surprise for them just to find out they were cheating on you
Some people see cheating as normal thing, but to some people is abnormal
People who cheat are not serious with their life and have no respect for their partner
@@jossellenaye4319agreed
@@jossellenaye4319Japanese see it differently, it’s very twisted. A lot of them believe you have to cheat in order to truly appreciate your spouse.
Yeah it's completely different in Japan. It's almost seen more as a cultural norm which is why I will never ever date or marry japanese man despite being asked multiple times.
I really struggle to understand how one of the most respectful and mannered countries have so many people cheating. Like, isnt cheating a lack of total respect and manners? Its such a high contrast between their strict rules of living civilized and then they still have going on this cheating culture, family or couple abuse.
The respect and manners have their shortcomings, it's okay to admit that.
I think as westerners we have a lot of misconceptions about Japan. Turns out they're human and do human things.
"I really struggle to understand how one of the most respectful and mannered countries have so many people cheating."
Countries and the people in it are more complicated than that. They aren't one dimensional.
"Like, isnt cheating a lack of total respect and manners?" - Well, apparently it's not. It is according to the morals you were raised on, but our morals aren't universal
That’s why mental health issues are high there, because your inner self, and how you need to portray yourself ‘outside’ doesn’t match.
It's misogyny, Japan is very polite but the traditional and conservative side is strong and includes misogynist values
When people ask why Japan’s birth rate is so low, I show them this video 😅
😂 Yep. I now know to avoid Japanese men.
:X
I find their responses to be disappointing and quite disgusting actually…it’s interesting to see that none of them recognize the correlation between this kind of mindset and the objectification of women in the media (and in society) in Japan.
Good so stay out of Japan
the objectifacation of women, hmmmm u obviously dont know many japanese women they are actually worse than the japanese men, remember he only interviewed japanese men, if he interviewed japanese women and they actually told the truth u would be shocked
What you expect from country that normalize hentai ?
Honestly, most animes will screw up your head about this. ESPECIALLY SHONEN which is GEARED towards boys.
That's why I watch jjk instead of most anime
This is so crazy to hear because theres also the other side of Japan with idol culture that if an idol is found to be dating its seen as a scandal. They get hate and sometimes have to quit their careers. So everyone can cheat all they want but god forbid their favorite celebrity dates someone.
Good point lol. But I think that's because the people that is being interviewed here will never go to an idol or have an idol to support in the first place.
thats kinda bad comparison. would u compare a regular joe to a brad pitt or celebrity that does drugs n god knows what else with all that money? idols are idols not a representation of all people in a country
Cause they consider that a part of their job. I believe
Idols are there to satisfy their fantasies. Plenty of lonely and isolated people here in the society. You get the idea.
Well when you live in an imperfect world, you want to believe your idols are perfect. It inspires you to live and move forward I'd assume.
First time I hear that doing it with a prostitute isn't cheating. It's just amazing how culturally different Western Europe is from Japan in these aspects.
There is no difference in the practice. I would argue americans and europeans cheat even more both men and women.
I know,culture is fucked up in dating whether is japan or europe. This is what happens when you normalise sex as a handshake.
I think this is what you call hook up culture
@@homie3461 I haven't said anything about prostitution but about cheating. I'm not getting into an argument with you but I'm Spanish and I've never heard that having sex with a prostitute isn't cheating. If you have, good for you.
@@homie3461 Nobody denies those places exist. If you aren't in a relationship, go off and sleep with 20 people a week, nobody cares. But sleeping with others while in relationship hurts the other half. These guys have very weird attitude towards it, as if it is a badge of honor - something to be proud of. In the west, people generally frown upon cheating, and that's the main difference.
I think most asian countries treat prostitution differently than the west, we view them as products, not people. Heck, my boss's wife even told my boss to "just go get a prostitute" during her pregnancy months since he kept on pestering her about sex, and we're talking about a happily married couple here
Ireland has the biggest red light district in Europe??? As an Irishman I call bs on this, where is this supposed place exist coz it's not true
I've been told Japanese people view cheating as a sport. Don't know how true it is. But I did have a colleague who was having an affair with a married man and she told me that it wasn't her fault that his wife couldn't control him.
Also, I've been told that after women have children, they are less inclined to have sex because they are busy raising their kids. Many of my friends who are married, both male and female, have told me that after they had kids, they rarely had sex. Whereas my Western friends continued to have healthy sex lives with their partners after having children... so it's interesting
Yup! I've heard that about other countries also, I believe it was India ... it's sad.
@@AnnieIsaLau I'm Indian and thts not true
@@tinamalhotra8401 oh well that's what some of my Indian friends told me. More than one actually...
The argument of "Prostitution isn't cheating, because emotions aren't involved" is one of the worst excuses I've ever heard.
Lust 100% involves emotions, and you wouldn't have sex with someone unless you felt lust towards them. It doesn't make sense.
Even the argument of it being "1-way" and "The prostitute is only doing their job"... It's still a terrible excuse.
The proustite can always refuse, it's not like they are being forced into it. So it doesn't count as 1-way either, it's still 2-way because they are *both* consenting to have sex.
This is honestly one of the worst sides of Japanese society in my opinion. How some people are so casual about cheating. It's quite disgusting.
Oh boo hoo
this is a diffirent culture to western we have horizontal think and we have vertical thinkers, east and west we can never agree
Prostitution is paid r4pe. Yes, they are being forced into it. Yes, it's still cheating.
Dude, Japan had been isolated themselves for 200 years and it is the most isolated country in the world and the most homogenous society in the world. They make their own rule, so don't be surprised if some "morals" don't apply to them, they have been just different since 200 years of isolation. Even here, depression and other mental issues is seen as only disease only Western suffers and Japanese genes are far too superior to have these disease.
It is not only cheating problem. Racism in Japan is never seen as disagrace, Instead it is ignored as a way to keep foreigners out of the country. It is common for most foreigners or half-Japanese living in Japan and has no Japanese friends. No, their racism is not direct. It is soft. They treat you like you already died, they keep you stuck at the same level of work you applied many years ago since the job only Japanese can be on top, and you have no option but leave the country. They want you to just pay for taxes and when it is enough, they don't want you anymore. They make the police questioning you, land-lords doesn't want you to rent their house for you, they slowly retreat themselves to not being involved with you. Your half-Japanese children don't have any value in pure Japanese people's eyes since they are not superior compared to pure-Japanese genes and they will forever stuck below Japanese means they won't have any rights to apply for high position job since they are not pure-blood. They are strongly fascist.
so you'll feel somehow unwanted and leave Japan on your own. It's Different when you are just tourist, and short-term worker or student, they will offer their best service for the sake you can bring more people on your country to spend money for their tourism industry, make their country rich.
@@angelsub9184 300***
"Japan has a culture of hiding thing anyway" really makes sense. Other thing to take to consideration is like the guy in the left said in 8:22, it depends in your environment. It's also funny that everyone says most of their friends are cheating, but nearly no one said, "I cheated".
Funniest take was "Everyone around me is poor, so they wouldn't go anyways." at 6:37 🤣
Right? Almost everyone cheats according to them, but magically, takashii happened to interview all the rare cases who didn’t cheat 😏
most of them were probably lying about not cheating lol @@humankaleidoscope4989
Yes Korea hides things a lot too
@@humankaleidoscope4989they already said it's not consider as cheating if they didn't get caught of course they would not admit it. I am sure more than half of the man there have girlfriends. Why would they Dig their own Grave?
Interesting, as a Finnish person I started wondering how close, deep and emotional in average Japanese romatic relationships are..? As for me if I have dated someone seriously he has always also been my best friend while my romantic partner too and that is why I would never have cheated the person, because why would I want to hurt someone so dear and close to me.. If your relationship is not very deep, it is easier to cheat cause you are not emotionally so strongly connected to that other person.
Cheating only hurts us because this thinking is hammered into our heads since childhood by everyone and everything around us even though the statistics prove that cheating is more or less normal.
Cheating is over dramatized in the West. I don't think that cheating is necessarily bad.
Why do you think that you partner can only be strongly connected to you and not another person?
@@smallego8068 Poly people always act like they've got it all figured out, but at best it's just trading one set of problems for another
@@smallego8068 You've missed a huge part of the title... It's a trend of Japanese men cheating on women. That's where it becomes a problem, it isn't an open relationship. It's an abuse of a womans emotions and most likely also lies being told, that's where the 'hurt' stems from. If you think being hurt by emotional abuse, lies and/or deceit is 'dramatization' then you're deluded on how normal human beings minds work.
@@smallego8068 I think what you're talking about is polyamory. If both parties have a shared understanding to explore connections outside of the relationship then it's not cheating. Cheating means there's some level of dishonesty involved. And that's when feelings get hurt, and you end up feeling disrespected and foolish.
@@jjencakes Only the knowledge about being cheated hurts but the actual act of cheating/getting intimate with somebody else doesn't hurt anybody as long as it's kept a secret.
Cheating has nothing to do with dishonesty. People are forced to be dishonest because cheating is not accepted and considered bad. But why is it considered bad?
My guess. Most people are extremely possessive. They fear that their partner is going to leave them
This whole video is so shocking to me how could they normalise cheating so easily. Cheating your loved one is one of the worst and the disgusting thing ever. I'm literally speechless. And also how can you not care when your friend is cheating his wife/gf. Atleast you should tell them that it is wrong! Isn't what friends do.. correcting them when they were doing something wrong? How can they turn blind and not even care about that!?!? Woah I truly can't understand the friendship in Japan now.
🙏
Agreed
No morals
May God bless you and your family
Japan is a society whr it looks rlly bright on the outside but v dark on the inside
In the UK, cheating is definitely not normalised this way. Serious relationships, at least, typically mean you're intimately committing yourself physically and emotionally to just that person. I have only one friend who I know has cheated on their partner, and ngl, I do judge them pretty hard for it. I find it difficult to see them the same way as I did before I knew that fact.
This is. How it is in canada too.. i fyoure caught cheating or whatever.. usually your image goes down a lot.. especailly from your friends.. they ridicule you and stuff.. some even lose friends.. i never seen a proud cheater.. or someone gloating about cheating.. we see these people are pos.. from my experience..
Even online.. when people are cheating.. i never seen anyone really side with the cheater.. or hte person theyr’e cheating with..
Look at teh try guys.. perfect example. Everyone loved Ned and stuff.. and when the cheating stuff came out.. his friends and co -workers were pissed and they fans… etc.. and now he’s like basically erased fro existence..
UK is way worse in terms of degenerate and disrespectful behavior compared to japan.
Lol I wish my Scottish ex had your friend group when she cheated on me. Probably depends where in the UK you are.
You realise that japanese people making it normal to cheat doesnt change the fact that cheating is at its highest in Europe and America (all western world).
The reason is
1. Social media
2. The change in view of sex (once sex is just a physical act,it takes the special meaning of it and its like giving a handshake for them,it stops being special)
Cheating happens everywhere,doesnt make it right but people shouldnt take it on japan thinking "the uk is morally superior" when there is a culture of hooking up,having casual sex or other weird things WHERE cheating happens even more than in japan.
Cheating happens everywhere,the only exception with less cheating are islamic countries because women are less open. Men function based on what women do. When women are extremely closed -> Less women to have sex with -> Cheating happens less.
Also cultural factors like strong family values actually reduce cheating because relationships mean something beyond the physical.
Either way,I have a japanese friend and he is not like this. Dont think that all japanese people are like this
I am Japanese, but please don't think their opinions represent the whole Japanese people.
First of all, this interview was conducted in Shibuya, which is one of the biggest entertainment districts in Japan. If you ask about cheating in such a place, you will get only impure answers.
Exactly this, Takashii should do a better job representing this context around these interviews.
thank you for saying this
Is this the equivalent of Los Angeles in Japan ?😂
@DxCBuG yes, yes it is, or southern California if not most of California
So when you ask the same thing in Oosaka or Sapporo, you think the answers are going to be drastically different?
Hearts and families broken. A real man provides protects and remains loyal, the rest are childish.
Such low morals it can't hit lower I think. As a Christian, cheating for me starts already in your mind and heart before the physical action. Crazy world.
I agree, I'm a Christian Catholic myself and I think the same.
Sadly Christians are only like less than 1% in Japan...hope for them it will change at some points in their history in the future and they'll accept Jesus as their savior.
Im a muslim and It´s just the same for me. ITs SOOOO shocking
Agreed, sis! I'm a Christian, too. I couldn't even watch the video, lol. I saw the preview clip at the beginning & got mad, so I had to know my limits and just refrain so I didn't entertain letting further bitterness into my heart.
The Lord bless and keep you & your loved ones, sis! 🤎☺️
@@Pistachio532 every religions contains humans and those humans very sadly and awfully make horrible things sometimes...
Btw let me remind you Islam is literally the worst on this matter...self claimed prophet muhammad was himself the worst of ped.o by marrying aisha a baby girl of only 9...so you can stop blaming only Christian religion about this horrible subject.
@@Pistachio532every religions contains humans and those humans very sadly and awfully make horrible things sometimes...
Btw let me remind you Islam is literally the worst on this matter...self claimed prophet muhammad was himself the worst of ped.o by marrying aisha a baby girl of only 9...so you can stop blaming only Christian religion about this horrible subject.
Ummmm........very interesting things indeed..........😠
I’m half Japanese and grew up in Japan. In this video, some of the men mentioned that going to “fuzoku” isn’t cheating, but in reality, if girls did the same, men will get really angry and would say they’d been cheated.
In my opinion, in Japan, men are more allowed to cheat or play, or sexually harass women, because they are thought to be that kind of creature…and in a relationship, a lot of the times, they will have to have experience so that they can lead their girls when they have sex. A lot of my friends who are boys went to “fuzoku” to practice as their first time sex.
Women in japan are thought to be more gentle, naive, innocent creatures. I think that’s why a lot of women would not talk so much about sex, seems not so interested, pretend to have no knowledge. The boyfriend will normally take the lead on sex, but in a lot of cases, I think they stay safe/gentle with the girlfriend. (If they are not abusive aggressive boyfriends who looks down on women and forces his girlfriend to have sex)
While boyfriends are being nice to their girlfriends, when the boyfriend feels bored, because of not being able to do things that he wanted, he will go play with another girl.
A lot of my friends said that they keep this innocent relationship with their girlfriends, but they will get another girl to play, to satisfy their sexual needs when they get bored, in order to maintain the main relationship…
So they see women as commodities
Thats not healthy way to maintain a relationship to your friends..thats just bunch of trash..
I get what you are saying and that is literal poison to the head. What you said is, "Why spend time with your only loved one and eat a meal you both cook together at home when you can pay money to go to some stranger's house and share bites of their McDonald's Happy Meal that they bought." The chain company food might taste better than your hard earned homecooked meal together, but if you love your significant other, why spend money for the excitement of pouncing in on a stranger's home with fastfood when you can relax at home and spend all your time in love with your special person? On the other hand, if you don't eat fast food, good for you.
Hm no wonder some of the men there look for foreigners who are a more foward with advancements. I think I get it, they get tired of initiating doing all the work to be romantic or sexual but the women tend to be "innocent, quiet, still, proper" that get really boring when they cant take the lead and do things individually. I dont blame the women, its the culture on top of that even if the women has personality its a culture normalized thing to cheat so its basically "allowed" with or without permission
@@iamfighterman9646 thats so messed up but yes I agree with this. Some people are sick like that wanting to keep "purity" or why some make a big deal out of womens virginity.
Its also a bit sad because they can't fulfill each others desires completely so they look elsewhere, they only have their mindset to blame
Holy cow, this video was...wild. I wish you would have begun every interview by asking if they understood what "cheating" was -- even if culturally defined. Can't wait for the female's version of this. I hope he interviews both older and younger generations as well.
Yeah, hearing all their answers, it's no wonder most Japanese women aren't interested in dating or settling down anymore.
I've watched some of the videos where Japanese women are also asked the same question and some of them have the same answers like the guys in the video. As far as my memory goes, the women are even more likely to cheat- which I'm not 100% sure of. Nevertheless, it was mind boggling.
It's just a linguistic thing. Uwaki (cheating in Japanese) and cheating are two distinct words. They have a subtly different range of meanings and completely different etymologies. Prostitution is cheating, but not always uwaki.
@@oschits-sentai2127 Man, that's interesting. Thanks for the explanation!
@@missfrubby7814 That isn't the reason. When it comes to developed Asia, work hours, economic stress will far and away be the primary factor. Not only are a lot of Japanese women ok with the men doing this, they also cheat just as much.
People don't like to date doctors and investment bankers globally (unless they're also one) because they're working 70-80+ hours a week. Hardly present, tired, notorious cocaine usage due to burnout, ample opportunity to cheat. Now imagine Tokyo where average office workers do those hours but aren't paid as well.
To all the guys that said prostitution doesn't count, Takashii should ask them if they would be ok that their gf paid a guy to have sex with them. LMAO I'd love to see their faces.... 😂😂
He did ask one guy about that, and the response was that flipping the genders wouldn't change anything. There's less possessiveness in Japanese dating culture, so that's likely a common view on things.
He asked what if genders were flipped, but he didn't ask "what if it was YOUR gf".... this small difference in the question makes a big difference in what the person thinks when answering...
@@guascamsb8138 agree - in some respects, it implies that HIS girlfriend is not being fulfilled sexually by him, and that she is bored with his connection or efforts to satisfy her. I'd be very interested if he would stay in that relationship, although it appears he'd expect his girlfriend to just accept it
@@LucMMaillouxthat’s what he said…. But if that happen I don’t think he would be glad to heart hat his gf had sex with a sex worker.
他の人はどうかは分かりませんが、私は日本で女性として暮らしていて悲しい思いを色々したので、旦那には酒もたばこもしない、浮気も心配ない外国の方と結婚しました。
もちろん大変な事や嫌なこともありますけど、日本人だとアルコール中毒の人も多いし、浮気が文化みたいになってるし、
家事育児の分担ができない人もいるし、私にとってはリスクが大きかった。
もちろん素晴らしい人もいます。
I was genuinely shocked by this one tbh.
The majority said that prostitution does not count as cheating and I simply can't believe it, haha.
Can't wait to hear what girls have to say about this.
Great interviews as always
This interview was conducted in Shibuya, a city full of extroverts, so this doesn't represent the average Japanese men's mentality.
@@salade99
agreed. This video is quite misleading. It's like asking about sex on the red-light district in Holland. And Shibuya is a town full of guys who spend all day picking up girls. What do you expect to hear about sex in a place like this? And if you look at the cheating rates in other countries, Japan is not that high. "Why Do Japanese Guys Cheat So Much?" is also pretty clickbait.
You know cultures are not all the same right... so shocked is a big word to use.
Women cheat if they find someone better than you, regardless of the city, country, culture or being drunk or not.
@@a.feuerstein9512 Surprised to see the incels crawling out of their holes so confidently. Try not to spread your pathetic, self wallowing pity to the rest of us who know how to better ourselves and handle rejection. It's not the women, it's your own distorted world view based upon carefully built propaganda spoon fed directly into your pretty little head.
This is so disgusting, I felt physically sick.
Even though my dad's side of the family is Japanese I had no idea cheating was so prevalent.
lol this is true, I had a japanese male friend and he said its ok to cheat hhahhahah
Thank you for making this video! :D
I thought my Japanese ex was also on the same page as me, but that was until he would start talking about sleeping with other women and told me that it's okay that I sleep with other men as long as I don't get sick and always come back to him. I was so confused. Sure, if I was into polygamy, then that's cool, but I'm not and it just broke my self esteem after what he told me and how he treated me.
He was one thing, but even my friends at work who are married all sleep with random people. Some even tried to sleep with me too and I just couldn't stand it lol.
My Japanese mom was grossed out by that too, so I guess there are still Japanese men who think like most of us, but it's not common. :( oh well.
Pretty fucked up how people give into their desires instead of staying faithful to one partner, I mean for people who are into polygamy I guess they just have different views on relationships
@@catpip_
Polyamory is different because it's completely consensual. And it's not just sex, it's also having a full relationship with other people. You can't force a monogamous person who you're in a relationship with to be in an "open relationship". If you were truly poly you'd explicitly ask before going further and look for other poly people who are interested in a full relationship. Cheaters just go behind their partner's back and expect them to trust afterwards.
Yes, it's way too common to see it in Japan for having sexual relations with another person other than your significant other. I believe a healthy relationship comes from the words "respect" and "loyalty" staying true to one another and only having such intimacy with one another. If this can't be fulfilled best to end the relationship than to suffer heartbreak for a long period of time honestly not worth it.
Thanks for posting this interview. I think I will stay away from Japanese men for the rest of my life 😅
Same
This is where "live and let live" gets you. There is no social disapproval. People are not willing to keep their friends in check when confronted with their moral misconducts. Interference is frowned upon and considered a more heinous act than cheating.
But maybe there are no moral guidelines to begin with. They are known for their friendliness yes but politeness is just a front and says nothing much about morality.
Bruh you cant base a country's morality based on one aspect of their interpersonal relationships. You live in the states?
Sure but u have to also know where do ur morals come from? Its not universal
@@fartunyep4501Morals come from God. Simple. This world needs Islam.
how is Islam working for Iran? constant protests and beatings of local women because they don't wear a full hijab. Or Afghanistan? Notice how all the people are fleeing Afghanistan any chance they get.@@luckyyyinlove
@@luckyyyinlove No one needs your religion and made-up god and stories.
Takashi always bringing fire content
It's just too scary how they think of cheating as normal. Here in Germany, it is not common to have many friends who cheat, of course there are always some that do, but overall not as much as in Japan apparently. I personally couldn't be friends with someone who cheats honestly. Especially because hurting someone's feelings by cheating is just too devastating and cruel in my opinion. So weird how society thinks in Japan and what they think is normal...://
I would have never guessed based on how respectful Japanese culture is in every other way. But I guess it makes sense as to why there population is dwindling now. Nobody trusts each other enough to marry and have kids.
Cheating in the west was normal up until recently it is in a man's nature to want to conquer as many women as possible, it doesn't mean they don't love their wife/ gf
@@ooooswain that’s not the case. It’s too expensive in first world countries to have kids. How do you idiots keep missing the point every time. The population has been increasing since 1950 and the culture has gotten less and less reserved
@@ooooswain japan has been about having many mistresses for a long time. It was the West that brought their culture in the late 1800s or a single significant other.
Dude I live here, it is very polite on the surface and then some, but behind closed doors, many are very racist and since 99% are thin, when they see a typical overnight Westerner and look down on them. My Japanese hubby often says he hates Americans and makes fun of them, especially the American woman he feels is loud and overly opinionated. But if he sees a foreign woman here, he will stare and may just want to try something exotic but no real longterm respect for the woman, he will eventually tell her, when she isn't submissive and accepts all, that she is typical American woman he hates. It's a weird culture. BTW I'm half Japanese-American. But let me tell you, if you asked him for directions, you will find the most polite man ever and think what a wonderful person. I think it was common of quite a number of Japanese wives to stop sex after the children came and for men to take care of their business elsewhere and they accepted it to keep up with appearances for family. But times are modernizing and a growing number of young Japanese are getting loose with sexual moralities. But not all, I know people married to fantastic Japanese husbands. @@ooooswain
As a South Asian myself, it's crazy to witness how Japan views this whole concept of cheating and prostitution in the way they do. Cheating and prostitution are such taboo subjects in my country and culture and if anyone ever cheats on their partner or gets sexually involved with some prostitutes, they'll be shunned by the family and society around them and will be ashamed for their deeds for the rest of their life. Back then, I always thought Japan also viewed them as the same (since both my country and Japan are Asian countries, so I thought they would somewhat share the same values and ideology regarding marriage, relationships, family bonding, and stuff like that...) But damn!! Look at these different perspectives and point of views. It's so scary how they consider cheating or prostitution as a normal thing in their day to day life.
Which country you from?
@@oldmoney1022 Bangladesh.
@@iffatbushrasuhi2860 don’t you have arranged marriages?
@@RadenWA Arranged marriages are rare now among the upper class and middle class people. It's an outdated concept to them, and they tend to marry their partners they date either since high school or college. Arranged marriage is just only a thing now among the lower class people or people who live in rural areas, but that's also changing recently.
And also, what arranged marriages have to do with cheating on partners or getting involved with prostitutes anyway? 😑
@@iffatbushrasuhi2860 South Asian culture is just entirely different from East Asian culture. I just don’t get the view “we’re both Asians so we’re similar”, we just can’t use our way of thinking to comprehend how other cultures does things. Just like how I can’t comprehend how people live with arranged marriages, caste system or polygamy, the same I think about Japan and cheating and prostitution, of course these are all just things I hear from media and never lived in myself.
For all I know, “prostitution” in Japan is very different from other countries because it can’t include sex by law, so it is mainly just “service” like by hand and such.
Personally for me, if it is possible for people to have their marriage arranged, or for women to be fully covered up and never let out without her husband, and they admit to still be “happy”, or for westerners to openly admit they are divorced 3++ times, who am I to judge when a Japanese couple knows each other cheating or using “services” and are still okay.
When one of the guys said there was a large turnover rate in relationships, to me that sounds so sad. It sounds like it would produce a lot of paranoia in relationships. That sounds so stressful to be going in and out of relationships😢
This is baffling to me! I knew that Japanese relationships were hardly ever as involved as 'Western' ones but had no idea that cheating especially at younger ages was that common. It does seem to be that all their answers with cheating seem to revolve around sex. One guy said that they may have higher sex drive but I think it's lack of communication in the bedroom and probably women not being as keen on sex as women typically enjoy emotionally positive sex more than the act. Then how fulfilling will that also be for men if they're seeing the women in this case as an object to fulfil their needs instead of a romantic partner. With public display of affection also been shunned its no wonder people feel embarrassed or restricted to not developing a deeper loving bond with their partners.
This is honestly so shocking that they think like this.. "if they pay for it or if their partner doesn't find out it's not cheating"... coming from a society that's known for being respectful, it's scary learning about this hidden side
they are cheating respectfully too apparently😆
if u knew how big and popular their porn industry is and how sick some of their variety shows are, u wont be so surprised.
As someone who's been cheated on, that was a bit depressing to watch.
I hope you have recovered from it already, wish you all the best in any future relationships and meet someone who really treasures you.
I'm sorry you've had to experience such heart shattering pain and treachery.
Are you Male or Female? Sorry to read that someone hurt you like this.
Such an eye opener
These Interviews single handedly explain the population decline
No they dont. Cheating as defined by western standards has been a part of japanese culture for 1000's of years. Love and marriage is more of a contractual obligation and sex is seen as being somewhat separate from love (love being a deep emotional connection and commitment to another) so if you can have sex while still honoring those commitments and not emotionally investing in another then many japanese dont consider it to be cheating. Japanese birthrate decline is mostly from overwork and economic decline
„Japanese people are very good at hiding things“
„No, I never cheated on anyone!“
🤨
Did you eat that cookie?
No
Did you take that cookie?
Yes
the second best at hiding and lying next to chinese
@@jonsimpson7348 what's wrong with you mate lol you love leaving comments about liars. IMO, Chinese, and Korean they are better at doing that. I do not usually give a f about nationality but since I saw this video and some comments, I might as well just join this labelling! I watch any sports, and I feel like Japanese play fair compared to them.
I knew that a lot of Japanese people suffer from loneliness. I always thought it manly because they dedicate so much time and energy to be at work and that in their culture it is more difficult to be once authentic self and thus one is not really seen that much. Wich I guess can make someone really lonely. But that apparently most people cheat on one another puts this whole issue to another level! Sounds like it is very difficult to find someone with whom you can build a trusting, loving relationship and life 😢
Japanese guys are walking red flags
Pretty wild how normalized it is. Wtf.
Please take into account that the interview had been conducted in the izakaya area of Shibuya (from what it looks like) and the people asked had been drunk guys in their early twenties (judging from their body language, style and time of the day). If you are not aware, Shibuya is basically the biggest "hitting on girls" spot during night time within a certain age range.
The results are not surprising at all.
Still, I'd agree that cheating is much more "accepted" in an "avoiding deeper issues" matter here in Japan.
Having explored several dating apps myself I just find that hearing some other perspectives (of non party ppl maybe) would have been interesting.
well yeah but this is probably the best place to ask such a question
I was thinking while watching the video that all the interviewees were from the same demographic. Would have been interesting to see some women interviewed on the subject.
he said that he's releasing a video where he asked women the same question, im assuming he just wanted to make a seperate video for women and men@@illdie314
A few years ago, Pew conducted a study ranking Japan 7th among countries where cheating was considered ‘morally acceptable.’ In a society in which marriage is treated much more as an instrumental partnership than as an enduring romance, a common attitude of both sides seems to be "Don't ask, don't tell" or "If you're going to cheat, do a meticulous job of ensuring that your partner doesn't find out."
Exactly my thought, the sample does not represent the population whatsoever
Every single video with this theme from Japan blows my mind. There is no concept of actual love and respect, it's truly bizarre and and they're very nonchalant about it, sad stuff honestly.
As a man from the USA I believe cheating on someone to be one of the most vile things you can do to someone.
whether it’s culture or something else. That’s literally messed up…especially when the partner doesn’t know that. They’re laughing about the fact that Japanese people are “cheating”, as if it’s a joke. Sry actually NOT sorry, that I can’t comprehend this kind of Mindset. Imagine yourself being in such a situation 🤯
I assume that it has something to do with the societal expectations to get married and have kids by a certain age so instead of finding a girl that they love they just end up with someone they don't actually love.
It's the smiling and laughing for me too. Like it's something to be proud of. I don't want to judge though, I just don't understand why it seems to be a medal or badge of honor. I would like to know can the women do the same and laugh about it too, without being called a bunch of sl*ts and wh*res?
Because it's a carryover from their traditionalist culture and society that reinforces misogyny. Look through old Japanese media (hell, even some current) and you'll find a lot of women are treated as temptresses and punished for this, but men are given a slap on the back for being caught
They simply view women as lesser in the equation and this is reflected in their politics too, when the government recently announced plans to increase birth rate by... bringing women into the agonizing work force conditions they refuse to mandate?
I'm not a very religious person, but I believe it's because they aren't a Christian nation. Christianity teaches everyone at a young age that simple things like cheating is bad. It's engrained in us over many generations.
My opinion (heavily) is the pressure there to perform, do well, be successful hits a point where it has to spill over somewhere. I think if you suppress your truth and what makes you happy, you’ll have to find it wherever you can get it.
I’m certainly not in alignment with this, but it is fascinating.
Wha-??? “It’s not cheating if its not caught” the same could be said for anything else, murder, stealing etc etc in the end you are exactly that common sense. For a country who prides itself in politeness, respect and discipline they sure know how to normalize heinous acts such as this one smh
“Not yet” 😂 Gotta appreciate the honesty
Now what I would find an interesting follow up interview is to ask people what they think about the concept of open relationships and/or polyamory. If cheating is fine with everyone, so sex outside of relationships kind of normal, couldn't they just sit down with their partners and agree that they're goign to be honest about it and make it equal rights for both?
I at least respect the person who said Japanese people are good at hiding things. They love evading anything that calls them out on their bs. Just another society with issues as anywhere else.
Yup sneaky
Correction: issues and past atrocities as anywhere else
This just makes me feel proud of the place I live in where love, marriage and relationships is given top priority and cheating is considered as sin. I wonder what their description of love is.
Well where's that? Why don't you say?
Glad you can feel so superior
Japanese views on cheating are so wildly different from the US. In the US, if someone finds out you're cheating--even your best friend, neighbor, coworker, etc-they will feel morally obligated to tell your partner. People will hate you for being a cheater. And prostitution definitely counts as cheating. For a lot of couples (not all) in Japan, once you get married, it's like sex is only for making children. I cannot wrap my head around how divorced sex and marriage are. The first time I came across this insane view, I was a teen listening to a podcast of two older Japanese women talk about their husbands, saying, "Oh, if my husband was cheating, I wouldn't want to know." You'd NEVER hear that in the US because it would mean your marriage is based on lies.
Luckily, there are people--though perhaps a minority--that consider cheating awful, prostitution/physical contact with another person to be cheating, and sex to be important in marriage.
Cheating distroys relationships! Never cheat on someone you have made a commitment with!
Never had an interest in having a japanese partner (because of my Japanese mother)
Now I'm convinced I will never have one
I'm half japanese
Cheating happens here in the UK but its still frowned on. Ive worked with at least half a dozen men who have broken off friendships with other men because those other men have cheated on their wives or girlfriends. Same girls I know have done the same with their cheating friends. Also, I know of an entire family (brothers, aunts and uncles, parents and sisters) who refused to speak to their cheating relative. They weren't religious, just a close knit family with shared values. I know a family of three brothers who when one of the brothers cheated with prostitutes, his other two brothers refused to have anything to do with him and in all these cases the spouse/partner being cheated on was told.
I'm not saying there aren't some people who ignore it but such behaviour is still viewed by people as a whole, as contemptible. Sad and shocking that its is so widely accepted in Japan.
I note there are comments here from some people saying cheating doesn't hurt if the person you are unfaithful to doesn't know. So, your husband/wife or long term partner lying to you in this context is okay? What about if they are stealing from you? A convicted and still practicing criminal? A drug addict? Where exactly do these people who say 'lying' is okay if you don't get found out draw the line? What if you sleep with someone who hates them and who will revel in sleeping with their partner, is that not disloyal on an even worse level? What if you talk about them to the person you are cheating with, is that okay? Where do the cheats draw the line? Do they have no lines? Are best friends and siblings a no go? What about STDs, risking pass these on to your partner or unborn child, that's okay is it? Cheaters live in a fantasy world where they coast along on the slick effluence of oblivious self indulgence then they end up in the crap along with everyone else including their kids, family and friends. I've seen and experienced it from the child's point of view. It took years for me to learn not all men are like that to their wives. My father and his brothers and father almost taught me the opposite lesson.
I see other channels interview young Japanese on their thoughts on this issue. I would like if someone would interview Japanese elders on their thoughts about cheating.
It's gonna be the same, if not worse. It's like a generational trauma thing, it's the elders that instilled these values onto us. And most women in Japan back then didn't have a leg to stand on and had no choice but to "allow" their husbands to cheat.
Once you cheat it will never stop. Its a cycle which many people cant stop. Please find yourself a partner who loves and cherish you as much as you cherish her. And find someone with principles.
I feel that their idea of prostitution not being classified as 'cheating', is circumstantial logic (and rather self-indulgent).
I think they would feel *very* differently if their girlfriend wanted to hire a male escort...
It's also a very shallow understanding of sex, thinking it's only a physical act and not an emotional one.
If you watch the video they said they would be fine with it and this is true it goes both ways don’t try and make this a male thing
IDK, my Japanese hubby doesn't want to have sex with me cuz I gained weight at menopause, I'm half-Japanese-American. He told me go find a lover. Yet he totally hugs, kisses and cuddles me. If I demand it he will have sex but I don't want it that way, I'm losing interest in him as a husband, maybe just a friend. He asks me can't I accept no sex, after just one year of marriage? He was like a 57 year old virgin who lived off porn. He pretended to be normal while we dated. I kid you not, day after marriage, in Japan, he introduced his real self. I asked where is the guy I was dating and he said that was the dating version of him, I asked and who are you now? He said "The married version." I said so you lied??? He said everyone lies. I dated men all over the world, but Japanese men Uggghh!!!!
@@eri7-11 why does he still kiss and cuddle you? Just curious if he's disinterested in sex, it seems a bit odd.
They won’t. At this point it is just “open relationship” when both parties are ok with each other doing it.
That’s too bad😭 I think Japanese guys are handsome but I can’t get behind the ‘prostitution isn’t cheating’ idea LOL
Now I get why my mom (Japanese woman) married my dad who is from Brooklyn. The logic is different. It just doesn't make sense in Japan when it comes to relationships + sexuality ...
I know many Japanese people and they are usually wonderful and kind. The fact of the matter is, that although people in Western countries would normally classify prostitution as cheating, it is probably just as common as it is in Japan. I don't really see a difference.
It is not. In my country prostitution is legal to a certain extend but if you get caught, if you even get seen with a prostitute, your life is over@@mariahiller
@@mariahillerno it’s not. 😂you don’t get western culture then.. no one in their right mind thinks that at all.. and going to prostitutes etc.. is pretty shameful in most peple eyes.. its not as common.. i dont kow where you live.. but no.. that is 1000% not true at all.
@@ramonsuter7435ya.. liek.. its litealrly seen as last resort bottom of the barrel.. you’re done.. in your families eyes, friends eyes, workers eyes..
Again, I’ve never heard anyone gaining anything from cheating and proudly saying it’s ok.. especailly in the west ( unless you’re in that clubbing culture
Can’t wait to see what the girls say about it. But I’d like to know what men would think if their girlfriends do the same thing… if it’s just a matter of having just a physical act with no emotions involved, would they think the same for women as they think for themselves?
Definitely not lol
First grade biology says no.
I think women are probably less likely to admit it as openly as men. But if an equal number of women aren't cheating, then who are these men cheating with? Each other? Especially if they're all saying that sleeping with prostitutes doesn't constitute as cheating. Are there a hundred Japanese women out there cheating with the 99.9% of all Japanese men who cheats? Like it’s their full-time job to cheat and they literally do nothing else?
The one guy asked that question responded that you could flip the genders and it would be no different. That's probably a commonly shared view there based on how the other responses went.
@@LucMMailloux as it was only one answer I can’t just assume that it’s 100% like that, that’s why I was expecting other guys tu answer the same thing
Can you interview in more rural areas like Saitama and Chiba prefecture. I think you got almost 100 percent answers because you asked in Shibuya. I feel like even if it’s high, the answer should be around 80 percent maximum. Speaking as someone who has been living in Japan for 15 years here!
How would some of these guys would feel if they themselves were cheated on or their lovers hired their own prostitutes? "Everyone is doing it, so it's okay" is a crap explanation for one's own behaviors and values, and you just wonder if anybody ever wishes for a world where people in relationships are by default honest and genuine and aren't promising or implying faithfulness and monogamy when they can't really guarantee it.
As a person who lived in Japan for a year I can easily say that females(in my opinion) don't care about relationships more than men. They are having relationships to show off, for the status. They can change a partner in a second, even after dating somebody for a year. Truly disappointing side of Japan
You do realise that Japanese women do the same, right?
"ever wishes for a world where people in relationships are by default honest and genuine and aren't promising or implying faithfulness and monogamy when they can't really guarantee it." -
Who's values are these that you want the entire world to follow? Grow up and realise that your values aren't inborn, they're not natural. They're just taught. They're not universal.
I've seen one where Japanese girls were answering similar questions and I was surprised to see they said the same things. Of course, it could be selective but in other countries you would have to look damn hard for people who would say that going to a prostitute is not cheating.
Many men actually think this secretly but would never say it because this opinion is oppressed in Western societies. Many men that visit brothels in Europe are actually married men.
All Western societies totally over dramatize the whole cheating thing.
As a German I also believe that cheating isn't as problematic as people always try to make it.
I'm Japanese.
I think this guy interviewed wrong people at the wrong place.
「俺たちヒップホップ育ち、悪そうなやつはだいたい友だち」これが彼らのかっこいいと思ってるもの。
What is your view? I’m curious.
I agree, he’s in the nightlife district at night
it might be to get attention. people like sensation in media
I love learning from other cultures, traveling through RUclips ❤😂
The guy at the end had the best mindset ..at least there's a hope abt them..😭😂
It's so funny because if the first friend says 'no' to have you ever cheated, all the friends will hide as well. but if the first friend answers yes, then all of them will admit to it.
Group-think. That’s why cheating there is so common in the first place.
In my opinion, cheating is probably as rampant in my own country as it is in Japan, but one major difference is that when it is discovered its definitely disapproved of by the person who's been wronged and even societally. However, despite that disapproval, its common to hear of women that choose to stay with their partners after the fact while men are much less forgiving of it (even if they've literally cheated before themselves). Also, societally where I'm from, there is this underlying idea that if a man cheats its fine and the women should forgive them because it was probably their fault he stepped out of the relationship. its a norm thats slowly being challenged I think but its still very rampant. That said, personally infidelity is damaging to oneself and the other person, accepting it is also damaging to both parties so if at the very least you can't commit then just don't and be casual with people (thats not ideal but at least you aren't pretending to commit)
Where are you from?
and I've heard quite some american women say that if a woman cheats, it must be the man's fault. There are american shows like Sex/ Life where they send the message that cheating on your husband is women empowerment and through cheating, you are defying "patriarchy" Women who are loyal are inauthentic and "pick me". Just see Jada and Will Smith video where the wife is openly disrespecting her husband on national television.
For one thing, it's way more difficult for men to cheat than women. At least 100x more difficult. Minimum.
@@l.saleviZambia
In many Asian countries, divorce is seen as even more of a shame than cheating, that is why they stay. The very opposite is true in Western countries.
My man was so mad at their answers, he’s not Japanese btw. In my family, we had two cheaters - the first is my father, the second is my aunt’s almost ex-husband (she’s going through a divorce rn).He was there, where this drama between the aunt and her husband has started. So he considered this man as a dirty clown, who’s not allowed to this family. And I agree. We know what betrayal is, so that’s the main reason why we are honest with each other. Hope this will continue like that.
So Japanese guys aren’t like what they show in anime ? Shocking
How are supposed to be they? (I watch anime but no about dating).
I get you since I was also disappointed about their view on sex and relationships
You didn't see the guy at 9:12?
This is exactly how they are in anime. Many Pervs in Anime
@@ericatinyo01 They try to justify cheating while spewing non sense.
So my next question would be... What is the meaning of being in a relationship there? What is the purpose of a commited relationship? And is cheating still considered wrong then?
It could be anything couldn’t it? Trying to get your parents off your back; it’s not uncommon for parents to ask their children why they’re not married yet. Some people might want a maid or a bank account. Traditionally love marriages weren’t really a thing I believe. It’s a new concept so that’s why people think certain things are ok.
@@Mizuyah True, I think it's more like a societal pressure to get married by 30 or so, or people will look at you in a bad way, and we know in the Japanese culture saving face is a big thing...
Lack of morals.
This is an insightful look into the darker side of Japan. Japan is often represented as a well mannered, hardworking, wonderful country. But the truth is, behind the charade, they have sides which the world are unaware about.
To be honest, this has put tarnish in the way i see Japan and especially the Japanese people.
Though personally, I'd struggle to trust especially Japanese men, in all forms of any relationship.
日本人男性として、この動画で語られていることはすごく残念なことだと思うし、あなたがそのような考えに至るのは不思議ではないと思う。
ただ、まともな日本人男性もたくさんいることを忘れないでください。
In Brazil, really unfortunately in the 40's, people used to think that cheating was normal, especially with marriage couples. Nowadays women really despise that time, cheating (with whoever it is) is equivalent of "people repelling", people always end up knowing what the person did, and usually that develops to such a bad reputation that it even stop them from getting a job at some cities, besides people despise a lot and don't want them even as neighborhoods.
As a Brazilian and a woman,
is shocking sad to see that this kinda of mindset imersed in Japan's culture.
"i feel Japanese men are less passionate." That must explain why many young Japanese women are attracted to Korean pop-idols or Korean men in general. Speaking of Korean men, on a business trip to Seoul, my Korean husband was invited by one of his closest friends to go to a hotel to sleep with prostitutes. He refused and told me about it afterwards. Sometime later, that friend visited us in America and I let him know that I knew what he'd done. Why? Because I wanted him to be aware that an honest and faithful marriage is possible. Ashen faced, he asked my husband why he had told me. My husband didn't respond, but I'm sure the friend figured it out. Thirty years later, my husband and I are still happily married.
It's not just Korean men. Some Japanese women go after foreign men in general because they dislike the emotionless, distant vessels Japan calls men. Of course, a lot of them don't end in success because of cultural differences and a language barrier, but not all of them.
@@ImGonnaFudgeThatFish Agreed. I actually know of such a couple. The Japanese woman married an old American friend of mine some three decades ago and that married has lasted. It didn't hurt that my friend is a Japanophile who speaks Japanese.
@@ImGonnaFudgeThatFish As a white man who lived in Japan, I didn't really get that impression. Many Japanese women do not speak English. And it's quite common to see Western men so there's nothing mysterious anymore. Many behave like colonists which doesn't help. And of course, many Western men have a superiority complex and think that they are better than Japanese men, which makes the situation even worse. There is still a minority of women called "Gaijin Hunter" who is interested in foreign men but it is a minority of women.
That guy encouraging your husband to do that is a direct attack on you and the relationship you and your husband worked to build up. People not understanding what a relationship really is, is the start of so many problems.
Well said. I actually liked that guy in other respects, and I realize that he had few role models upon which to base a beautiful relationship of his own.
Very interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing what Japanese women have to say on the subject. At least from the men's side, it almost seems as though many Japanese women are looking for an emotional relationship, but not a physical one, and that prostitution is an approved way of letting their husbands/boyfriends deal with their sex drive. Then again, we guys are really good at reading into situations what we want to read into them. It will be interesting to hear the women's views. The whole, sex thing, seems to be a lot more complicated in Japan than most other places.
Try France. Infidelity is way worse 😂😂😂😂
@@user-pd9ju5dk5sje te crois
I'm pretty sure the women feel like they don't have much of a choice, if they want to settle down. This may explain why the birth rate and marriage is steadily declining there. The influence of western cultures are possibly enlightening them to how abnormal this behavior is elsewhere and they realize they don't necessarily have to accept it.
I'm a woman and I want both an emotional and physical relationship. I can not have either one missing. Men tend to think women don't want sex which is silly. A lot of us do but society for a long time shamed us for it. But if course that is all changing now. I know some women in Japan cheat because their husbands are lousy and selfish in bed.
@@ivyfeenix Western culture enlightening to them? 🤣🤣 Get off your moral high horse LMAO
This honestly both disgusts me (as a non-Japanese person) and fascinates me (because I recognize that it seems to be cultural). It's not the first street interview I've seen on this topic but the responses were pretty much the same. I feel like in other countries, women view both the emotional and physical acts as cheating and it's interesting to find that Japanese women might really be okay with being physically cheated on as long as it's not emotional. I could not ever consider dating a Japanese man myself, after seeing multiple interviews like this. I also have to wonder if Japanese society sees cheating as a normal act, a lot of these men are clearly lying about not having done it themselves. If it's normal, why do they act as if they have something to hide? Also, laughed out loud at the guy who said maybe Japanese men have a higher sex drive than other countries. Nah sorry, that's not it, try again.
Well it doesn't happen immediately after marriage but a lot of Japanese women withhold sex after marriage or they'll go into mom mode and won't have sex. It usually happens during early 40s. Then I have seen many Japanese men going to prostitutes. Their wives are fine as long as they are with a prostitute and spend in control.
If wife isn't providing sex then the husband shouldn't suffer. Same vice versa.
@@gohan12991 It's really kind of sick to blame it on the wives and say it's fine to cheat if the wife isn't providing sex, like it's her fault and her duty to do that and the husband is a victim...even if you say vice versa it's just...I get that it's cultural but it still gives me the ick.
@@hongjoongsbutterfly so what should the husband do to fulfill his needs? Masturbation isn't same as sex. There's no human intimacy there. People in these situations become very frustrated and then start ignoring their spouses. It creates resentment. Atleast if the husband is getting sex outside the house he can still love his wife and give her attention.
@@hongjoongsbutterflyNot the wives fault?
Not the husbands fault for seeking sexual attention either 🤷🏻♂️
Can’t override biology with ideology.
@@gohan12991 My god, I should have remembered men are all disgusting before I commented...
You are NEVER entitled to someone else's body, even when in a relationship.
Although I DO agree that many men in Japan cheats, I feel like the guys you chose to interview were a bit biased. Try interviewing guys in Akihabara or in the countryside because you’ll get different answers depending on the place and time you interview them! For example, you’ll have a different kind of population if you go to Akihabara in midday compared to Shibuya at midnight. I feel like this time, you went around asking guys at an area where bunch of guys go play/fool around. Just my opinion. But like I said, I did notice more of a “cheating culture” when I was in Japan compared to America.
Well of course. Takashi knows this. He provides what people want to hear/see and it’s juicy. 😂
Otherwise just boring. Less views and dialog. Come on.
And Americans just hide better and do more drastic things if caught like shooting and killing each other or worse. 😂
Worse is chopping off offending organ. 😂.
in south korea, its not just cheating its a patriotic duty to buy prostitutes.
woman as old as 70-80 live money from prostitution.
yea your right youll get diffirent answers because they will be lying, lol
@@newchannel1220what? This is such a lie. Prostitution, and even porn is illegal in South Korea.
I am a Japanese person who was born and raised in Japan but has been living in the United States for 10 years. In Japan, there's a unique perspective that it's somewhat inevitable for popular men to cheat to a certain extent, and even if they're married, visiting commercial sex workers is somewhat acceptable for men. However, in America, there are many women who won't tolerate casual sex or infidelity, regardless of whether the man is attractive or popular. Many men are aware of this and adjust their behavior accordingly, fearing divorce. Therefore, the proportion of attractive men who are popular but have never cheated is much higher in the US than in Japan. I believe this is largely influenced by Christianity. Even if someone isn't Christian, the society at large has been greatly influenced by Christian values.
Absolutely not. Cheating is not acceptable in countries that don’t believe in Christianity. Loyalty is not a Christian value, it’s a human value.
U think ppl don’t cheat cuz they ‘fear divorce’, no they don’t. Not everything is logistical. They don’t cheat cuz of basic human decency. U really need to educate urself
That's just because there's more attractive men in the US to choose from, attractive Japanese men are so rare women feel the need to share them I guess.
@@XGuardianSoullessXthis made me laugh.. in my head I hear “Japan men are ugly so you can share mine” 😂
I agree, it comes down to morals and values and none of them talked about God or their beliefs. Adultery is a sin and if they were Christian they would be embarrassed to admit they cheated
Them saying paying for prostitution isn’t cheating takes me OUT.