I really appreciate how much these examples speak to personal insecurity and the *wanting* of immediacy, which isn't actually a need. It can be so hard to understand what is a "want" and what is a "need," and the idea that most of what I need is already inside of myself has been such a radical idea to try to digest! I look forward to your weekly reminders that security comes from within SO much!
Thank you. Between your work (mainly your course) and the Gottman’s work I finally feel secure in a relationship in a way that I’ve never experienced before. Thank you for facilitating this peace Paulien ❤
Def still struggle with wanting the drop everything for me and obsessed with me feelings from him...its hard to not get that bc so addicted to such a high that i would get after the horrible lows throughout my life
I need some advice peeps? My girlfriend has split up with me she's a fearful avoident and I normally end up reaching out and we continue but is it best to not do this so she knows that they are consequences and that I'm not guaranteed to be there no matter how she acts?
@@elizabethmarrerocreates we are good now thanks,it's just a lot of these other experts etc say to do this,probably correct wording should have been give space and respect her time to relate her thoughts.
@@Bradcb11I’m currently going through the same thing and it’s not the first time we’re breaking up but I knew nothing about attachment styles until 3 weeks ago and she’s a textbook definition of an FA. How do you get them back? I’m trying to do no contact now but it’s tearing me apart.
It's true it took around 12 years from the worst time (crash state) until I was healed, but that's because I had NO idea what was 'wrong' and what I could do about it! It was soo much trial and error. Healing definitely does not have to take 12 years. The ones that go through my program and really do the work can feel like they've healed in about 3 to 6 months. It's all about knowing WHAT to heal exactly! Ofcourse it varies per person, no guarantees. But it really does not have to take 12 years
I need your help My FA ex and I were doing just fine. She was caring and loving. I was the same. So one day I have her a flower and suddenly later that day she blocked me on everything. About 2 weeks later after no contact she unblocked me so I said I hope she is doing good. And so then she blocked me again. It's been about 2 weeks again and I'm still blocked. I am heartbroken and confused. Any ideas that maybe helpful to me at this point?
I really appreciate how much these examples speak to personal insecurity and the *wanting* of immediacy, which isn't actually a need. It can be so hard to understand what is a "want" and what is a "need," and the idea that most of what I need is already inside of myself has been such a radical idea to try to digest!
I look forward to your weekly reminders that security comes from within SO much!
Thank you. Between your work (mainly your course) and the Gottman’s work I finally feel secure in a relationship in a way that I’ve never experienced before. Thank you for facilitating this peace Paulien ❤
Your channel has been so helpful to me on my healing journey. Thank you for sharing❤
Def still struggle with wanting the drop everything for me and obsessed with me feelings from him...its hard to not get that bc so addicted to such a high that i would get after the horrible lows throughout my life
Excellent! You do great work. It is so helpful to hear it from someone who has been there.
I am anxious preoccupied and this describes me to a t
wait are you saying that bed death is caused by over-enmeshment or deep co-dependance? That's a bold statement. More, please?
I’m glad I watched this and good job to you
I dont have one.
True!
I need some advice peeps?
My girlfriend has split up with me she's a fearful avoident and I normally end up reaching out and we continue but is it best to not do this so she knows that they are consequences and that I'm not guaranteed to be there no matter how she acts?
Just be authentic, completely honest and transparent, not manipulative
@@elizabethmarrerocreates we are good now thanks,it's just a lot of these other experts etc say to do this,probably correct wording should have been give space and respect her time to relate her thoughts.
@@Bradcb11 yes exactly, I'm so glad to hear you guys are good now!
@@Bradcb11I’m currently going through the same thing and it’s not the first time we’re breaking up but I knew nothing about attachment styles until 3 weeks ago and she’s a textbook definition of an FA. How do you get them back? I’m trying to do no contact now but it’s tearing me apart.
How long did it take to heal your Attachment style?
She said in another video it took her 12 years
It's true it took around 12 years from the worst time (crash state) until I was healed, but that's because I had NO idea what was 'wrong' and what I could do about it! It was soo much trial and error. Healing definitely does not have to take 12 years. The ones that go through my program and really do the work can feel like they've healed in about 3 to 6 months. It's all about knowing WHAT to heal exactly! Ofcourse it varies per person, no guarantees. But it really does not have to take 12 years
I need your help
My FA ex and I were doing just fine. She was caring and loving. I was the same. So one day I have her a flower and suddenly later that day she blocked me on everything. About 2 weeks later after no contact she unblocked me so I said I hope she is doing good. And so then she blocked me again. It's been about 2 weeks again and I'm still blocked. I am heartbroken and confused. Any ideas that maybe helpful to me at this point?