Many men are already taken but we don’t know about it… they’re juggling multiple women etc hence inconsistency and unavailability. That’s what I’ve seen so far
Whenever he's inconsistent, or just texting, you already know it's because he has multiple women or a girlfriend. I don’t even spell and guess anymore. Once I smell a rotation, I just block and delete. I'm not going to compete for a man's attention.
I think what he's trying to say is.. Stop lying to yourself. We KNOW. We know that certain things he does gives AWAY the fact that he's NOT that into you! And we choose to ignore that because our ego can't handle it! Just accept the truth, don't take it personally, and move tf on. None of that fight for his attention and chasing shit.!!
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True. I met a guy. After 3 days of chatting he decided to drive 120km to me. He made compliments, gave me cheekkisses and we were holding hands and than. He wanted me to kiss for 20sek i should show him how to kiss. I didn‘t want to do it. Because i had the thought that he just came here to get something for his ride. Than suddenly he started to always reply every 2-3 weeks. At the date he wanted to see me again. But after it i asked him when he has time for me. He didn‘t answered. That‘s almost 4month ago and i‘m so in pain, because i liked him so much. Somedays he write me that he miss me and send me a song or he wished me merry christmas when i started to chat nothing. I don‘t understand him but i will try to let him go
@@moonshine2603 stop talking to him and if he does try to talk let him know that you ain't fooling around and if he wants you he needs to be consistent and show some real effort. We let guys get away with everything, talking after a gap of 3 weeks just not good enough sis. If he wants you he needs to make that clear otherwise there are plenty of fish in the sea you just gotta believe it. I'd suggest you start going out meeting other people amd ignore this guy totally. If he truly makes an effort you could consider it but be wary
You said something in another video that I’ve never forgotten… “Everyone thinks about the beginning and no one ever thinks about the end.” That really stuck with me.
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I just had a guy be like this to me so I ditched his ass totally and leveled up to a multimillionaire who treats me like a queen LOL drives an hour and a half to see me and lets me plan every date around what I want to do. There's perfect men out there ladies, don't put up w/ any mans sht
@@smileyglitter852 i met him at a bar but soon after we met I broke my ankle,we stayed together a yr and a half but he said I wasn't the same as before I broke it,I'm just convinced men will find anything to complain about,I'm so done lol
I had a guy pursue me HARD for 2 years solid and I eventually accepted a date just 2 weeks ago with him. Went great , he was really into it . Then boom , I’m ghosted ! I haven’t reached out to him . I don’t plan to at all. Yet he’s orbiting me watching every single one of my Insta stories 😂 I follow Elliot’s teachings and don’t give these men a reaction I just simply do not react lol
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That happend to me aswell lol I remember the guy made me feel bad for not responding to him, and over a year later I agreed to hang out, we were intimate, and then he ghosted me lol I'm mad that I didn't ghost him first, because he wasn't even cool at all, I carried the entire date..he had the personality of a pencil lol I was just being nice by texting the next day to tell him about this thing I thought he'd like, and no answer at all lol Never heard from him again.
If he starts out lukewarm for you, that is how it's going to continue. Men know instantly if they see you as wife potential or just a plaything, and you will never get out of the latter category.
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Yeah i had a date with someone who just told me that he wouldn‘t wait 1-2 months for our first sex (we didn‘t even had our first kiss or were cuddleing). So he wanted to meet me again, but one day before the next date with him was planed i told him that i would wait for the first sex and that i need to be secure. So he canceled our date just 1hour before and i was styled up -.- I felt not in love with him but i was so confused how someone could say things like that and on the other hand he told that he is only looking for serious relationships
Completely agree... 100% A man who really wants a woman will talk to her "talk" like call or video call EVERYDAY... ok ladies. Not just TEXT... text messages is a lazy form of communication. There is a guy who really like this woman. He works for 10 hours and still go to her bring her burger or food that he wants her to try even for 20 minutes. not everyday but when he can but he video calls her before he goes to sleep. He won't sleep until he see her or hear her voice. A man will never confuse you if he is serious about you. Is that simple. A man who have too much excuses why he can't call or video call you is because he really does not want you. When you see this happen at least 2 times. JUST WALK AWAY. Believe me you are not losing anything but your energy, time and emotions by staying with a man who is wasting it all.
It applies as well if you boyfriend broke up with you ?😞because the relationship turns toxic but he gave me hope that healing both with therapy individually maybe we can going back together but I don’t know I’m heartbroken
I say your comment to myself anytime when I’m unsure if a guy is playing games with me. It answers everything! “When a man truly likes you he won’t put himself in a position to lose you.” Always answers my question! Bought your Attraction Guide!
The Bible says “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." I apply this same principle to men. Lol. I need you to be hot for me baybeh or you get cut off. 🔥 Revelations 3:15
Absolutely. As cliché as it is, tis true. Dated a guy for 4 months and thought we were in a relationship when in fact, it was simply “casual” for him. In retrospect, he gave off many clues he wasn’t over his divorce and ready for a relationship. Saw him only once a week with minimal contact in between. Whenever he would initiate a text and I reply, he would take 2 hours to respond back with a 3 word sentence. It was very rude considering how HE initiated the texts! looking back, I now realize how inconsiderate and selfish he was. I was essentially his 2nd rebound. Thank goodness I didn’t waste any more of my time with him.
Wow! That‘s hard to read but i feel you.. He just replied within 2-3 WEEKS. -.- Or just ignored my suggest to meet again. He drove 120km to me and than he behave in that way. So strange.
@@idlexxx1868 get a hobby? Perhaps you should get new friends and/or partner if they are all consistently (key word is consistent) taking 2 hrs to reply to you. Your bar is quite low.
@@smores8982 how old are you? You know that people even in a relationship have other things to do than replying in 5 mins to your messages. Or even simple want a break from you than being in touch for 24/7. You girl should really start working on yourself otherwise you will keep watching Elliott’s videos and crying in the comment section that a guy didn’t reply to you in 2h or how you got used for sex and dumped by ur “boyfriend” (ur sob sad story from a few months ago)
You are always spot on, thank you for opening my eyes to all the excuses I made to keep him in my life. 3 years and no commitment but hey better late than never. Thank you again
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I had a guy do this, that he seem to pull back and was giving me minimum effort. I told him how it’s making me feel, still tried to say I was wrong, but eventually couldn’t keep what he promised to do better. I’m glad I nipped it in the bud, didn’t waste anymore time with him and I feel empowered that I didn’t let this guy use me for his own lack of self-worth.
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Sometimes, they’re unsure, because they’re married, they probably aren’t interested in leaving their marriage and they’re unsure if you’re going to go for being a 3rd wheel.
@@Ohkeh640 well, in my case, I knew he was taken. Pretty sure he knew I knew he was taken, too - because he was my boss of many years, that suddenly took an interest. I was into him, too, but my concern was, “Do you really think I’m going to play side piece to your wife? REALLY? Is THAT how you think I roll? You’re HOT AF. But, I’m no fool!”
@@alelovesmakeup I totally get that he’s just human. Heck, thinking about him kept me showing up for work and staying awake, once I got there, too. But, I got the sense he grew frustrated at my lack of reciprocity. Welp, there was a reason for that…
I met a guy who was visiting my city in February. Told me he was divorced. We’ve hung out, we’re physical, and he initiated constant communication for over 2 months even when he went back home. Talked about me visiting him.. ect. Then, he didn’t reach out for 4 days so I checked his fb the other day and to my surprise his status said “married” when it didn’t say that before. I immediately cursed him through text and blocked him.
I just want to add and ladies you will agree if you had the experience. As the creator said if a man is interested in you he would make sure not to lose you. This in itself is something to be cautious about. A man will have no intentions for you, a man will not be serious about you but will still do things to hold onto you for self fish reasons. Some men keep you around for enjoyment, to pass time, for sex, for convenience and for an ego boost and they will hold on to these things and not necessarily you. And one may not see what he is actually holding onto and mistake it for him liking you.
Thing is, when we think theyre unsure about us, we tend to go into "i need to make him like me more" mode or "we want to make him to be sure" mode, because we like them so much, we want them to like us back we see that as us not being clear enough, so we try harder
These mixed signal persons want to keep their options open, they want you on the side, or to use you. You have to pull the plug and save yourself and your time. Don't allow fear to ruin you ,fear of being single. How many unhappy relationships are there that tolerate crap. Why??
I think with modern dating this just about sums up the men that are on the market- hot and cold guys who conveniently blow hot when the mood strikes and they want to access the assets and cold when they don’t have see any benefits, not worth the effort or commitment. And don’t even talk about the narcissists that ghost or discard you! I’m soooo done with men 🤦🏽♀️😒
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2 months dating and talking everyday but he says he still needs more time...also introduced me to all of his friends and took me to a vacation getaway 🤦🏻♀️ outside the city.....🙄.. I told him I declined let's just be friends and now he got mad at me and avoids me at Church (Which is where we met)... Note ;He said our dates were too perfect therefore he prepared this date where we only asked each other very intimate and tough questions he was happy and according to him relieved but still didn't transition 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ His best friend told me he always does that cuz he hasn't healed or forgiven his childhood trauma, bad relationships from the past and bad choices so he usually self sabotage 🤷🏻♀️ He contacts me once in a while cuz he knows my father is sick so he uses that to talk to me and usually is a one sentence or 2 conversation ...short and cold
Girl don't put yourself through that unecessary drama. Your Dad is sick and you don't need coldness, someone that cares will always show empathy, no matter what. I hope your Dad's health improves.
@@MA-yc7pz Good for you. I know it can be hard when you hope and think the person you give time too is invested back and that they will be there for you, but he has shown you who he is at a time he should be stepping up with support and care. So it is clear he is all about himself. Some women are like this too, but in your case he isn't worth your valuable time and energy. Sometimes those in Church hide their true selves and wear many masks. Those that are genuine will have your back. Take care lovely, remember it is important to look after you to through your Dads sickness. He needs to know you will be ok. 🙏🏾 I hope both of you will be and you find someone worthy.
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Ty for the video & the reminder…. At times seems dammed if u do dammed if you don’t when it comes to dealing w men…what’s certain is that no matter what… men take no accountability & leave dead bodies/cartilage after silent bombs dropped with no remorse… great 👍 to know!! Matching the energy of a male acquaintances that running hot/cold.. I’m excited cause I’m thankful to be in know to completely ignore him until he comes to his senses and cycles back like nothing happened.. he will be hit in the face w a nice conversation Re my boundaries & he can gtfoh wanting some of me for nothing.. ty again great video..
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You're advice is great! I hope I had the will power to leave when I received hot and cold signals from a guy I was in a situationship with! It would have saved me a lot of time
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@@MaRiAm936 lol i dont even know yet if i want a ring from him. maybe lets get to know each other better first? and if you tell me to do that without sex, i dont know which guy will stay around for long. he will be off to whoever gives it to him
Thank you for this~ do you think sometimes it’s just avoidant attachment? Meaning they want a relationship and feel a deep connection but that in itself triggers deep fears of emotional intimacy and commitment? … NOT that you’d want to date a guy like that who’s unhealed from childhood trauma and resultant defensive coping but just wondering if sometimes that may be what’s happening! Thank you 💜
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Girls Please stop justifying men by avoidant attachment, stress at work, bad previous relationship, other issues. Of course these things exist but most of the time the guy is just simply not interested in you enough to commit
Maybe that does play a role but even such people will give you clues, like, they might actually want to hang out with you but just not commit, or something. If he's not taking any effort at all then it's just lack of interest
He says.. he can’t let me go.. & then he acts distant and ignores me.. Shows arrogance.. & disappear.. When I disappear & finally decide to leave him.. & getting over him.. He comes back & give me excuses.. & again the same cycle.. I am so sick of this behaviour that It is affecting my mental health.. He has trapped me so badly mentally.. He says I am so close to him.. I mean world to him.. whether he talks to me or not but he is sure that I’ll always be there for him.. & will never leave him.. because only I am the cultured & understanding friend in his life🤷♀️.. I want to leave him so badly without having a blame on me!
Hello Elliot Scott. I loved watching your videos when I was dating my now husband about 3 years ago. It’s been awhile. Why are you randomly showing up on my RUclips feed? It’s ok. 👌🏼 😊
this video was so helpful! it made me see the reality of what's really going on! thankyou Elliot! wish you be well and happy and peaceful always! ♡ thankyou for you care and dedication to helping us women to be strong empowered woman and know our worth ❤
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Does this also apply to long distance relationships? Because "unsureness" and "uncertainty" and mixed signals could occur more easily if there is distance. But at the same time, if it happens during long distance, it might also mean he won't want you either.
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I have friends who found a girlfriend while travelling to Peru’ or Mexico and one is engaged the other one got married. They met during a holiday and the relationship continued long distance for a period until one of the two decided to move so I think if a guy is really into you he will make it work it doesn’t matter the distance.
Yeah a guy was like that with me and I cut him off lol and now he in love and dating someone else. Glad I helped him find what he really wants. Cause I was tired of his bitch ass
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Consistency over time, effort in terms of investing resources, doing your detective work to see if he's actually emotionally available, the pace, and so on.
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What about when he’s uncertain because of his own commitment issues which might not have anything to do with another person? Does that categorise as being unsure about someone? Just wanted to double check :((
If his commitment issues make him behave (=actions) in a way that is hurting you (you become anxious, confused, angry...), You should prioritize your mental health and well being and leave him alone
Uncertain for any reason is still uncertain. He won't be able or willing to provide you you with comfort, attention, time, effort, friendship or caring. Guard your heart and body, or they get used by the greedy and needy.
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Hi Elliot, the attraction guide is this like the attraction academy but condensed or new content? Ladies at $27 dollars this would be money well spent either way. This guy helped me do much with the community chats on RUclips during Covid. I’m thankful for his time energy and effort 😂
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I find I am delusional after sex and really like them and think they like me, and I get all these fantasies and get excited...and then they ghost me lol My perception was way off! How could I have been so wrong about them???!
Brain . It becomes so stupid when it likes someone. Things are obvious but our brain is just an idiot lol . I’ve has serious talks to my Brain after reading tons of neuroscience hehe
Don't have sex with them, it never works, it's not worth it. That's why I decided to be celibate until marriage. I think that's the only way to truly get to know a guy and get him in that committed mindset.
I think this can be true. But human beings arent black and white. We all have traumas and moments where we need to pull away. A steady growth in a relationship is unrealistic, even the most fantasy ones you see on Instagram have things going on behind closed doors
Steady growth is necessary. Having bumps in the road is normal. But when you yo-yo in the same place, it's a clear sign the person is using you. They will stop all progression in its tracks.
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There’s someone who ghosts me he stays for long time and he showed up Xmas leaving notes then ghosted me again and I told him no ur not doing this to me again so I broke up w him again after nothing for s5 months then 4 weeks later last week he calls asks to see me can we talk I’m asleep it’s 530pm I had a nap and somewhere to go at 3am medical stuff I said when where he said when ever but then tells me he’s at the corner he’s walking over as he parks at corner mail box 📦 wtf 😳 I said gimme time to get up feed my pet n finish up things I’ll be out 30 mins
After seeing him I felt like different he finally asked me about my social media for my business we have no contact via social media I was curious why he curious now he likes my items and I looked on his page I can see he’s crying about someone and upset 😢 he has a baby mama but it’s not her he’s crying about another woman
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Here's a good example. THe community pool. These lifeguards always have girls flirting with them. My daughter, I have made it clear, don't go for one of these. They have a job with girls in bikinis trying to get their attention ALL THE TIME. But a lot of this really doesn't turn into anything. I know, fun, water, sun. But eventually, that season is over. Take it for what it is. Just the boys of summer.
Elliot how do you explain a guy who is consistantly chase me over the past ywo months...he would initiate texts, call, dates...etc. we meet at least once per week, talked about future and how he wanted to have a long term relationship...etc. then boom!! He told me he told me he thinks he is not ready in a relationship and want to be alone then vanish from my life.
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Not dealing with hot and cold anymore. To draining emotionally. Heartbreaking. I am Worth more than that and I deserve better. I have values and standards.
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Many men are already taken but we don’t know about it… they’re juggling multiple women etc hence inconsistency and unavailability. That’s what I’ve seen so far
So true
Whenever he's inconsistent, or just texting, you already know it's because he has multiple women or a girlfriend. I don’t even spell and guess anymore. Once I smell a rotation, I just block and delete. I'm not going to compete for a man's attention.
Exactly!
..spot on
That was a good video. Thank you for this reminder, "When a man truly likes you, he won't put himself in a position to lose you."
What about the married men who cheat?
I think what he's trying to say is.. Stop lying to yourself. We KNOW. We know that certain things he does gives AWAY the fact that he's NOT that into you! And we choose to ignore that because our ego can't handle it! Just accept the truth, don't take it personally, and move tf on. None of that fight for his attention and chasing shit.!!
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
True. I met a guy. After 3 days of chatting he decided to drive 120km to me. He made compliments, gave me cheekkisses and we were holding hands and than. He wanted me to kiss for 20sek i should show him how to kiss. I didn‘t want to do it. Because i had the thought that he just came here to get something for his ride.
Than suddenly he started to always reply every 2-3 weeks. At the date he wanted to see me again. But after it i asked him when he has time for me. He didn‘t answered.
That‘s almost 4month ago and i‘m so in pain, because i liked him so much.
Somedays he write me that he miss me and send me a song or he wished me merry christmas when i started to chat nothing.
I don‘t understand him but i will try to let him go
@@moonshine2603 stop talking to him and if he does try to talk let him know that you ain't fooling around and if he wants you he needs to be consistent and show some real effort. We let guys get away with everything, talking after a gap of 3 weeks just not good enough sis. If he wants you he needs to make that clear otherwise there are plenty of fish in the sea you just gotta believe it. I'd suggest you start going out meeting other people amd ignore this guy totally. If he truly makes an effort you could consider it but be wary
You said something in another video that I’ve never forgotten… “Everyone thinks about the beginning and no one ever thinks about the end.” That really stuck with me.
Profound.
Thank you :)
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十15093468418⏭⏭⏭_ ^_?????????????????????..
You know what’s depressing I’m watching these videos whilst married… just a heads up: they never change. They only get worse.
Facts!!!!
I just had a guy be like this to me so I ditched his ass totally and leveled up to a multimillionaire who treats me like a queen LOL drives an hour and a half to see me and lets me plan every date around what I want to do. There's perfect men out there ladies, don't put up w/ any mans sht
PERIODTTTTT💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅
Good on you! Congrats!
@LakenKennedy where did you find him??
@@smileyglitter852 i met him at a bar but soon after we met I broke my ankle,we stayed together a yr and a half but he said I wasn't the same as before I broke it,I'm just convinced men will find anything to complain about,I'm so done lol
I had a guy pursue me HARD for 2 years solid and I eventually accepted a date just 2 weeks ago with him. Went great , he was really into it . Then boom , I’m ghosted ! I haven’t reached out to him . I don’t plan to at all. Yet he’s orbiting me watching every single one of my Insta stories 😂 I follow Elliot’s teachings and don’t give these men a reaction I just simply do not react lol
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That happend to me aswell lol
I remember the guy made me feel bad for not responding to him, and over a year later I agreed to hang out, we were intimate, and then he ghosted me lol
I'm mad that I didn't ghost him first, because he wasn't even cool at all, I carried the entire date..he had the personality of a pencil lol I was just being nice by texting the next day to tell him about this thing I thought he'd like, and no answer at all lol
Never heard from him again.
@@s.elizabeth1753 You were intimate with him even though he wasn't cool and had no personality? Weird.
@@amandak2763 I gave him the benefit of doubt and just thought he was shy, but when I look back I came to that conclusion. Hind sight twenty twenty
If he starts out lukewarm for you, that is how it's going to continue. Men know instantly if they see you as wife potential or just a plaything, and you will never get out of the latter category.
Men aren’t good people and it’s so sad that women watch these videos like they are, like there’s some kind of prize at the end
And the secret is.. never have sex with the guy... Cuz the minute you do you give up all your power.
But boy, it sure makes it hard for the women with a high sex drive to hold out like myself
Not always true
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Yeah i had a date with someone who just told me that he wouldn‘t wait 1-2 months for our first sex (we didn‘t even had our first kiss or were cuddleing). So he wanted to meet me again, but one day before the next date with him was planed i told him that i would wait for the first sex and that i need to be secure. So he canceled our date just 1hour before and i was styled up -.-
I felt not in love with him but i was so confused how someone could say things like that and on the other hand he told that he is only looking for serious relationships
Elliot, exactly! When a man likes you, he will not put himself in a position to lose you.
Stop making excuses for him.
Great video.
Completely agree... 100%
A man who really wants a woman will talk to her "talk" like call or video call EVERYDAY... ok ladies.
Not just TEXT... text messages is a lazy form of communication.
There is a guy who really like this woman.
He works for 10 hours and still go to her bring her burger or food that he wants her to try even for 20 minutes.
not everyday but when he can but he video calls her before he goes to sleep.
He won't sleep until he see her or hear her voice.
A man will never confuse you if he is serious about you.
Is that simple.
A man who have too much excuses why he can't call or video call you is because he really does not want you.
When you see this happen at least 2 times.
JUST WALK AWAY. Believe me you are not losing anything but your energy, time and emotions by staying with a man who is wasting it all.
I agree. Texting is the lamest way to get to know something, to easy and requires minimal effort.
It applies as well if you boyfriend broke up with you ?😞because the relationship turns toxic but he gave me hope that healing both with therapy individually maybe we can going back together but I don’t know I’m heartbroken
Even if you’re acquaintances and started talking a week ago?
I say your comment to myself anytime when I’m unsure if a guy is playing games with me. It answers everything!
“When a man truly likes you he won’t put himself in a position to lose you.” Always answers my question! Bought your Attraction Guide!
The Bible says “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." I apply this same principle to men. Lol. I need you to be hot for me baybeh or you get cut off. 🔥
Revelations 3:15
Perfect!
the Bible - never returns void. Truly the best compass out there.
Absolutely. As cliché as it is, tis true. Dated a guy for 4 months and thought we were in a relationship when in fact, it was simply “casual” for him. In retrospect, he gave off many clues he wasn’t over his divorce and ready for a relationship. Saw him only once a week with minimal contact in between. Whenever he would initiate a text and I reply, he would take 2 hours to respond back with a 3 word sentence. It was very rude considering how HE initiated the texts! looking back, I now realize how inconsiderate and selfish he was. I was essentially his 2nd rebound. Thank goodness I didn’t waste any more of my time with him.
Wow! That‘s hard to read but i feel you..
He just replied within 2-3 WEEKS. -.- Or just ignored my suggest to meet again.
He drove 120km to me and than he behave in that way. So strange.
Girl… get a hobby or something. Texting back after 2 hours it is not a bad thing
@@idlexxx1868 get a hobby? Perhaps you should get new friends and/or partner if they are all consistently (key word is consistent) taking 2 hrs to reply to you. Your bar is quite low.
@@smores8982 how old are you? You know that people even in a relationship have other things to do than replying in 5 mins to your messages. Or even simple want a break from you than being in touch for 24/7. You girl should really start working on yourself otherwise you will keep watching Elliott’s videos and crying in the comment section that a guy didn’t reply to you in 2h or how you got used for sex and dumped by ur “boyfriend” (ur sob sad story from a few months ago)
@@smores8982 2 hours is amazing in my eye but onely if is a consistent message and not avoided,with 3 words
You are always spot on, thank you for opening my eyes to all the excuses I made to keep him in my life. 3 years and no commitment but hey better late than never. Thank you again
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Same here except with a 1 year old. It’s even worse :/
@@Gigi-rg7xy Hang in there 🤗 I'm praying for you, dear!
When he wishy washy don’t take him seriously 🆘🆘 most can’t keep up the faking past 3-6 months
I had a guy do this, that he seem to pull back and was giving me minimum effort. I told him how it’s making me feel, still tried to say I was wrong, but eventually couldn’t keep what he promised to do better. I’m glad I nipped it in the bud, didn’t waste anymore time with him and I feel empowered that I didn’t let this guy use me for his own lack of self-worth.
I blocked his ass. If he really wants me, let him try hard. If not, he can go
Good for you!!!
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You want him to try and yet you blocked him? Blocking is a sign of immaturity and manipulation.
I blocked as well after watching Elliot’s video..well done!!
Sometimes, they’re unsure, because they’re married, they probably aren’t interested in leaving their marriage and they’re unsure if you’re going to go for being a 3rd wheel.
Facts. So many men are taken and we don’t even know
@@Ohkeh640 well, in my case, I knew he was taken. Pretty sure he knew I knew he was taken, too - because he was my boss of many years, that suddenly took an interest. I was into him, too, but my concern was, “Do you really think I’m going to play side piece to your wife? REALLY? Is THAT how you think I roll? You’re HOT AF. But, I’m no fool!”
Yes, I agree with you in most cases they are either full of shit or not emotionally available.
@@alelovesmakeup I totally get that he’s just human. Heck, thinking about him kept me showing up for work and staying awake, once I got there, too. But, I got the sense he grew frustrated at my lack of reciprocity. Welp, there was a reason for that…
I met a guy who was visiting my city in February. Told me he was divorced. We’ve hung out, we’re physical, and he initiated constant communication for over 2 months even when he went back home. Talked about me visiting him.. ect. Then, he didn’t reach out for 4 days so I checked his fb the other day and to my surprise his status said “married” when it didn’t say that before. I immediately cursed him through text and blocked him.
I just want to add and ladies you will agree if you had the experience. As the creator said if a man is interested in you he would make sure not to lose you. This in itself is something to be cautious about. A man will have no intentions for you, a man will not be serious about you but will still do things to hold onto you for self fish reasons. Some men keep you around for enjoyment, to pass time, for sex, for convenience and for an ego boost and they will hold on to these things and not necessarily you. And one may not see what he is actually holding onto and mistake it for him liking you.
Thing is, when we think theyre unsure about us, we tend to go into "i need to make him like me more" mode or "we want to make him to be sure" mode, because we like them so much, we want them to like us back
we see that as us not being clear enough, so we try harder
These mixed signal persons want to keep their options open, they want you on the side, or to use you. You have to pull the plug and save yourself and your time. Don't allow fear to ruin you ,fear of being single. How many unhappy relationships are there that tolerate crap. Why??
I think with modern dating this just about sums up the men that are on the market- hot and cold guys who conveniently blow hot when the mood strikes and they want to access the assets and cold when they don’t have see any benefits, not worth the effort or commitment. And don’t even talk about the narcissists that ghost or discard you! I’m soooo done with men 🤦🏽♀️😒
try dating women, it's neither gender that are to blame. It's modern dating that is to blame, it's going to get worse too as well.
@@jayc342009 obviously but this video is about the issues women face dating MEN.
Short and sweet. Thank you for this information. In short, some men will just test your boundaries to see if you know your worth.
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Those Type of men are NOT Worth Knowing.
A True Gentlemen Respects ALL Women & won’t use them to their advantage.
@@Seraphim7 agreed
2 months dating and talking everyday but he says he still needs more time...also introduced me to all of his friends and took me to a vacation getaway 🤦🏻♀️ outside the city.....🙄.. I told him I declined let's just be friends and now he got mad at me and avoids me at Church (Which is where we met)...
Note ;He said our dates were too perfect therefore he prepared this date where we only asked each other very intimate and tough questions he was happy and according to him relieved but still didn't transition 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
His best friend told me he always does that cuz he hasn't healed or forgiven his childhood trauma, bad relationships from the past and bad choices so he usually self sabotage 🤷🏻♀️
He contacts me once in a while cuz he knows my father is sick so he uses that to talk to me and usually is a one sentence or 2 conversation ...short and cold
Girl don't put yourself through that unecessary drama. Your Dad is sick and you don't need coldness, someone that cares will always show empathy, no matter what. I hope your Dad's health improves.
@@happydays9613 Thank You 💓 those were my thoughts exactly.I told him my dad is my priority now.
@@MA-yc7pz Good for you. I know it can be hard when you hope and think the person you give time too is invested back and that they will be there for you, but he has shown you who he is at a time he should be stepping up with support and care. So it is clear he is all about himself. Some women are like this too, but in your case he isn't worth your valuable time and energy. Sometimes those in Church hide their true selves and wear many masks. Those that are genuine will have your back. Take care lovely, remember it is important to look after you to through your Dads sickness. He needs to know you will be ok. 🙏🏾 I hope both of you will be and you find someone worthy.
Also, 2 months is too soon for all this drama. Don't be in a hurry, take your time...
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Binge watching Elliot for almost a week already and staying grounded 🙌 Love you Elliot!!
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.
Ty for the video & the reminder…. At times seems dammed if u do dammed if you don’t when it comes to dealing w men…what’s certain is that no matter what… men take no accountability & leave dead bodies/cartilage after silent bombs dropped with no remorse… great 👍 to know!! Matching the energy of a male acquaintances that running hot/cold.. I’m excited cause I’m thankful to be in know to completely ignore him until he comes to his senses and cycles back like nothing happened.. he will be hit in the face w a nice conversation Re my boundaries & he can gtfoh wanting some of me for nothing.. ty again great video..
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
This person never gave me mixed signals but yet here I am... rejected after almost six months of dating.
I needed to hear this it's almost three years of inconsistency ghosted for eleven days after being so close just the week before the ghosting
You're advice is great! I hope I had the will power to leave when I received hot and cold signals from a guy I was in a situationship with! It would have saved me a lot of time
Dating is so hard for me.
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十15093468418⏭⏭⏭_ ^_?????????????????????mm
Wish I knew these when I was a naive 18 year old! Anyway, better late than never, thanks Eliott
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How can a guy be so calculative? You love spending time with a woman and having sex with her? Then wtf is the problem?
the first problem is when you give yourself to a man and sleep with him without a commitment/ring
@@MaRiAm936 lol i dont even know yet if i want a ring from him. maybe lets get to know each other better first? and if you tell me to do that without sex, i dont know which guy will stay around for long. he will be off to whoever gives it to him
Thank you for this~ do you think sometimes it’s just avoidant attachment? Meaning they want a relationship and feel a deep connection but that in itself triggers deep fears of emotional intimacy and commitment? … NOT that you’d want to date a guy like that who’s unhealed from childhood trauma and resultant defensive coping but just wondering if sometimes that may be what’s happening!
Thank you 💜
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Girls Please stop justifying men by avoidant attachment, stress at work, bad previous relationship, other issues. Of course these things exist but most of the time the guy is just simply not interested in you enough to commit
I have it honestly i push away people tht I actually like
Maybe that does play a role but even such people will give you clues, like, they might actually want to hang out with you but just not commit, or something. If he's not taking any effort at all then it's just lack of interest
He says.. he can’t let me go..
& then he acts distant and ignores me..
Shows arrogance.. & disappear..
When I disappear & finally decide to leave him..
& getting over him..
He comes back & give me excuses..
& again the same cycle..
I am so sick of this behaviour that It is affecting my mental health..
He has trapped me so badly mentally..
He says I am so close to him.. I mean world to him.. whether he talks to me or not but he is sure that I’ll always be there for him.. & will never leave him.. because only I am the cultured & understanding friend in his life🤷♀️..
I want to leave him so badly without having a blame on me!
so you made up an excuse to yourself to stay with him🤦🏻♀️
please don't waste more time. ditch him.cut him off completely. he isn't worth it.
Sounds like emotional abuse!leave him,look after yourself stay strong and take care.
Block him from everywhere without explanations, he doesn't deserve them and you already explaned yourself enough anyway. That is the only way.
Hello Elliot Scott. I loved watching your videos when I was dating my now husband about 3 years ago. It’s been awhile. Why are you randomly showing up on my RUclips feed? It’s ok. 👌🏼 😊
this video was so helpful! it made me see the reality of what's really going on! thankyou Elliot! wish you be well and happy and peaceful always! ♡ thankyou for you care and dedication to helping us women to be strong empowered woman and know our worth ❤
Dealt with this for 8 months never again. I walked.
My husband is leaving me for a woman he met online. 23 years together, he hasn't wanted me in a long time. I'll never chase another man again.
Love the rubber band analagy....I wish I had utube in my 20s and Elliot... I would have done so many things differently
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SAME
Def lol consistent inconsistency is unsexy af …so obviously douche move..boys gotta step it up🤍🙌🏼🤍
Fabulous! You're alway's right, I already know all this.
Does this also apply to long distance relationships? Because "unsureness" and "uncertainty" and mixed signals could occur more easily if there is distance. But at the same time, if it happens during long distance, it might also mean he won't want you either.
Yes
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He’s seeing others don’t waste your time
I have friends who found a girlfriend while travelling to Peru’ or Mexico and one is engaged the other one got married. They met during a holiday and the relationship continued long distance for a period until one of the two decided to move so I think if a guy is really into you he will make it work it doesn’t matter the distance.
so hot and cold means he's just using you ?
Yeah a guy was like that with me and I cut him off lol and now he in love and dating someone else. Glad I helped him find what he really wants. Cause I was tired of his bitch ass
Not using you. But unsure about you or taking you for granted.
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This is gold! Thank you!!!
This is one if your best videos! Thanks!!
Your very smart ! Sending this to my friend.
Right to the core as always! Thanks bro!👍
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Mighty fine cologne collection
I collect cologne :)
@@ElliotScottDating I bet you smell fantastic!
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十15093468418⏭⏭⏭_ ^_?????????????????????..
How do you differentiate between love bombing and him really liking you?
that’s a really good question
Effort over time
* consistency
Consistency over time, effort in terms of investing resources, doing your detective work to see if he's actually emotionally available, the pace, and so on.
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What if you bring this up to a guy who is hot and cold but his answers are always "But I am doing xyz....." 😩😩
What about when he’s uncertain because of his own commitment issues which might not have anything to do with another person? Does that categorise as being unsure about someone? Just wanted to double check :((
Please don’t waste your time.
If his commitment issues make him behave (=actions) in a way that is hurting you (you become anxious, confused, angry...), You should prioritize your mental health and well being and leave him alone
@@co28mi28 I can not thank you enough for this 🙏🏻
Uncertain for any reason is still uncertain. He won't be able or willing to provide you you with comfort, attention, time, effort, friendship or caring. Guard your heart and body, or they get used by the greedy and needy.
@@JoannCarolus I am overwhelmed by the advice and support you all have to give me. Thank you! I am working on protecting myself to the max now 💪🏻 💪🏻
How to nip it in the bud as you state? What is best way to do this?Great video and thank you.
I may make a video on that.
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@@ElliotScottDating Your style is what keeps us watching you. Refreshingly honest and no B.S. thank you, Elliot Scott.
Love u form Nigeria 🇳🇬❤️
Why?? Lol
I can imagine you as a literature and movie lover in your youth. Just reading books and watching lots of movies.
Hi Elliot, the attraction guide is this like the attraction academy but condensed or new content? Ladies at $27 dollars this would be money well spent either way. This guy helped me do much with the community chats on RUclips during Covid. I’m thankful for his time energy and effort 😂
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This channel's content is👌 thanks 😊
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I love me a man who wears cologne!
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I find I am delusional after sex and really like them and think they like me, and I get all these fantasies and get excited...and then they ghost me lol
My perception was way off! How could I have been so wrong about them???!
Brain . It becomes so stupid when it likes someone. Things are obvious but our brain is just an idiot lol . I’ve has serious talks to my Brain after reading tons of neuroscience hehe
Unfortunately the sex wasn’t good, so he’s moved on.
Don't have sex with them, it never works, it's not worth it. That's why I decided to be celibate until marriage. I think that's the only way to truly get to know a guy and get him in that committed mindset.
@@cringeproof100 yep! I agree
DON'T HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
hes been making an effort consistently and it was all perfect but at the end he still left me
I think this can be true. But human beings arent black and white. We all have traumas and moments where we need to pull away. A steady growth in a relationship is unrealistic, even the most fantasy ones you see on Instagram have things going on behind closed doors
I agree with you. More often than not, even the healthiest relationships have had rough patches.
Steady growth is necessary. Having bumps in the road is normal. But when you yo-yo in the same place, it's a clear sign the person is using you. They will stop all progression in its tracks.
I needed this🥺
Message right on time!!!
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Great Advice.
Why would a guy try to get with me, and I drop him because he made it clear he didn't want anything serious, then come back? Wtf?
There’s someone who ghosts me he stays for long time and he showed up Xmas leaving notes then ghosted me again and I told him no ur not doing this to me again so I broke up w him again after nothing for s5 months then 4 weeks later last week he calls asks to see me can we talk I’m asleep it’s 530pm I had a nap and somewhere to go at 3am medical stuff I said when where he said when ever but then tells me he’s at the corner he’s walking over as he parks at corner mail box 📦 wtf 😳 I said gimme time to get up feed my pet n finish up things I’ll be out 30 mins
After seeing him I felt like different he finally asked me about my social media for my business we have no contact via social media I was curious why he curious now he likes my items and I looked on his page I can see he’s crying about someone and upset 😢 he has a baby mama but it’s not her he’s crying about another woman
Red flag... he needs to work on that before dating someone new
On point 🎯
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.
I don't see the adidas back there bro!
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
This is true!
Here's a good example. THe community pool. These lifeguards always have girls flirting with them. My daughter, I have made it clear, don't go for one of these. They have a job with girls in bikinis trying to get their attention ALL THE TIME. But a lot of this really doesn't turn into anything. I know, fun, water, sun. But eventually, that season is over. Take it for what it is. Just the boys of summer.
100% TRUE
Tgis is assuming he’s unattached / Not in love .. When & how does love play a part in all this ??
Elliot how do you explain a guy who is consistantly chase me over the past ywo months...he would initiate texts, call, dates...etc. we meet at least once per week, talked about future and how he wanted to have a long term relationship...etc. then boom!! He told me he told me he thinks he is not ready in a relationship and want to be alone then vanish from my life.
Match his energy. Vanish from his life too.
Unsure and don't want no more it's 2 complete diferente things?
Is your attraction academy for women also in they’re mid 20’s wanting something serious? Or is it for women 30 and over like advertised ?
I'd recommend checking out the eguide I have in the description of this video for right now.
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.
That Jean Paul Gaultier is a nice scent
I agree :)
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Okay.
Love him
What do you mean by "nip it in the bud"? Stop seeing him, no contact?
So true
Not dealing with hot and cold anymore. To draining emotionally. Heartbreaking. I am Worth more than that and I deserve better. I have values and standards.
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Is your guide in audio form?
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Rubber band and your wrist btw
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️..
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
Yep lol.
U look tired