Hey people 👋! If you’re looking for a video that’s a lot BETTER quality and a bit more concise, look know further than my 2018 version ruclips.net/video/515yiKNKgp4/видео.html 😁 Thanks for all the views, I can’t believe how massive this video got... BUT this was one of first ever videos so you MIGHT want to check out some of the NEWER stuff 😜
I have a relative with Aspergers. I love him so much. He is so special and has wonderful abilities to concentrate and communicates eloquently and concisely. He is so inspiring in ways as in how he delves into what he loves. Thank you for this.
+Ramona Beville Hi Ramona! Thanks so much for your lovely comment, it's true that Aspergers is very confusing to understand and sometimes to live with, but there are definitely a lot of benefits. No worries, I hope you watch out for other videos! Thanks.
+singtitle0078 song Thanks for your question; actually it's common for people with Aspergers to have a higher than average IQ. Einstein was believed to have Asperger's :)
Dr Attwood, if you see this, you need to know that your book was what saved me while raising my little Aspi. Please do not blame yourself for not seeing this in your own son. No parent gets through this without feeling inadequate to the task. Thank you for you. Thank you for your book, and all the love that you put into it. I am sure there are countless parents who feel just as I do about you. You are our hero.
As a 52 year old with Asperger's (diagnosed only a matter of years ago) I would like to say even if we do appear to be acting like an arsehole DON'T ditch us - please teach us! Speaking to none autistics here:- Have you ever played one of those games were two people know the rule of the game and everyone else has to figure out what the rule is? It might be that a certain word or gesture is being covertly used in a very very subtle way. Slowly, one by one people start to go 'oh I get it' - they have spotted the hidden pattern to what is going on and they feel delighted when they get how simple it is. Ever been the last one in the group who still hasn't grasped it?!! Normally, when you're down to about the last 3 or 4 people (and they're starting to feel really frustrated and stupid) those in the know start to over exaggerated the covert word or gesture in order to help get them there in the end. That' a bit what it's like to have Asperger and be in a social setting. Imagine that if you will. Not a game that lasts for about an hour or so but your 'whole life' because no one ever thinks that another human being needs to be 'taught' to do what humans largely automatically do - 'socialise' So please please - guide us to this understanding as best you can. Do it kindly. Use a little humour, but not too much because it's unclear to us where the boundaries are between friendly humour and taking the piss! As I've come to understand it, and I'd love some NT feedback on the matter (NT - that's you if you are not on the autistic spectrum), it would seem that there are signals that pass from your brain to the brain of the person you are communicating with as if by magic. To me this seems like being told 'Santa is real'! The concept that very subtle signals flash through your brain that provides a heap of very useful information when interacting actually seems like 'a fairytale' to me.
Diane Paranoid that officialisation may get me registered by the authorities and therefore subject to any limitations or legal implications they deem necessary. I have not done any background research on what happens when you are assessed yet.
I understand but the more these things come out in open... have met people who were abused and to cover that up makes them more vulnerable so when they come out they get lots of support and it encourages understanding too cos you can usually tell when something wrong. There will always be some people who can deal with it or not, the body language and speech is different and it is instinctive to be wary of difference but once you understand. I'm hoping chris packham will lead the way. And there are different levels of aspergers, so many different forms. Employers aren't always the right people to expect sympathy from but I expect there are many in the workplace and world that have shades of this. Some employers you would expect better understanding from and some should actively embrace if it is the sort of job where need to think outside the box maybe for creative reasons. I don't know, I think we find our way in the world and there's a niche for everyone. You have to work out your strengths and less strong areas. Do breathing exercises help with panic, have you been given coping mechanisms? But if distressed, panicky best to tell people and tell them what you need too. Also ask what they need because we all struggle at different times. Yeah disability benefits and all that, not got a good record at moment, I'm hoping things will change. MIND and other charities should be growth industries employed as experts in the field, it's all down to government isn't it.
I spose nobody likes criticism cos can be taken as disapproval and if don't feel able to change then react that way. I got mates who's behaviour concerns me, if I do mention things cos feel like ought to as a friend then I try to say something positive to balance it out and have got away with it so far... Maybe he could learn to take a deep breath to relax then develop a stock answer like I hear what your're saying but don't agree and people have to accept that - rather than be verbally aggressive. I wonder what he says that is spiteful? It is difficult isn't it cos you care. Maybe he feels more comfortable being solo than most people? Got to focus on the positive aspects and distract from negative behaviour maybe, dunno.
I never saw the point in small talk. I still don't know what to say when someone asks me how I'm doing. I have to think about it... like do you really want to know or are you looking for a short answer.. or are you just trying to be friendly.. I don't know. So then with all the time it takes for me to think about my response I end up with a late "Good" and an even later "How are you doing?" Which usually gets ignored.
Loxi Bell Harm? I don't understand what you mean by that. Logically speaking, I find humans aren't always sincere with their friendliness... I've learned that over a long period of time and I'm still learning. Learning how to communicate in the way the majority of people communicate is difficult. I observe. I know they "fake" conversations. That's not being paranoid, that's just fact.
Something has happened in the UK the last couple of years. People no longer say 'hello' most people say 'alright'? while walking straight past you. I just say 'hello' like in the past because it's not really a question. Try stopping and saying 'yes, I'm alright thanks, how are you'?, they can't handle it and look confused, because clearly it wasn't a question! What is the point?? People are weird
I have been diagnosed with Asperger's (I guess it's now just called ASD). I fidget, but I don't "stim". I have an obsession with making sure my hair parting is perfectly smoothed down and I find myself doing it randomly throughout the day, but I don't think I do it for comfort. I have a very specific diet that has involved things like going to Wendy's every day after my run (which I have done 6 days a week, every week for 10 years) for a small chocolate Frostee and nothing else. I have always been very socially-capable, if not above average at interacting with people 1 on 1, but I have never had friends because I don't understand how to keep them or text them properly. I tend to have very exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures, but I think that has helped me in my professional career. One major benefit of having Asperger's is that when I apply for a position, I put in far more preparation than most people and leave nothing to chance. As a result, I have a job that receives 20k applicants per year and accepts 1% of them. I have never told people that I have Asperger's and I choose to never use it as a crutch. I had an IEP in high school because my mom thought she needed to intervene and get me more help than I felt I needed. I resent her for this and use it as a chip on my shoulder to achieve in my career, so I guess it helped in a circuitous way. That being said, there are major negatives to the condition. I am 29 years old and have never dated before, nor do I think I'll ever be able to get married despite wanting to. I live alone and have no friends, which doesn't bother me too much except on occasion when I am bored, but generally, I am indifferent. The few friendships I have had either end because I am not responsive enough, too codependent, or I don't understand how to text people and end up making the friend think I don't want to hang out with them. As a result of this, I have refocused my life to derive the majority of my pleasure from my work life. It is what it is. If you have a kid who has the modern equivalent of Asperger's, do not be a helicopter parent. If they don't want to go to therapy, do not force them. If they don't want an IEP in school because they don't want to be sequestered with classmates with clear cognitive impediments, do not get them one because there is an unavoidable stigma that comes with it. If they don't have friends, don't assume that they want them or feel bad for them--- it was incredibly annoying when I didn't care that I didn't have friends, but my mother did, making me feel guilty. Never try to guide their career choices or neuter their college experience. I went to college, had a single dorm, and had no friends, but I didn't really care. Let your kid figure out his own path.
Really good video. Makes me feel better about myself knowing im not alone. Im 37 and only just figured out i have aspergers. Had no idea all my life, just knew i was different. Im glad im not alone. Im glad im not broken, just different.
I’m really glad for you! I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the dark for so long with a diagnosis. Definitely try to find or create some local social groups to talk about your experiences. If you have any baggage caused by misunderstandings in the past, you can evaluate them and explain them from different angles. Welcome to the Aspie team... well officially 😬
It’s so hard for me to listen to someone talk while other things are going on in the background. My boyfriend hates it when I don’t listen to him, it’s frustrating cuz I’m trying really hard to listen
+Modified Curls It is a difficult task, but I can tell you after practising and putting yourself in those situations it will get easier. It will always increase our anxiety, but we have to learn how much we can take and for how long and make sure we have a pair of noise cancelling headphones! Thanks for your comment 😋
Mainstream Hipster I understand sarcasm if it’s humor, not intended to be mean. Mean sarcasm I often don’t get. Which I love because the sarcastic persons doesn’t get their satisfaction.
. . . and we tend to use really big - inappropriately big - microphones when we make youtube videos. :P (now now, dont go hatin' on me, just messin around). Oh and lastly, we make comments like this one. ;)
Idk but number one I had problem with social interaction and anxiety eye contact etc . I don't like park or city bc busyness and loud i am nervous and anger so hope get help with this ps .I like you video hope have a good day!😊✨
+RUclipsrgirl Hi there, thanks for your comment! The most important thing is to realise that autism is a fundamental difference in brain structure. A lot of things which could be markers of Autism can be either a common trait or something more individualistic. Just as in people without autism we are all different in our own way of working, it just serves to make explanations more simple if I talk about general characteristics. I hope you have a great day too!
Not sure what to say here. I’m 53 years old, and I have yet to figure out where I fit in. When I watch these videos about Asperger’s, some of them don’t fit at all, and some of them, like yours, fit every point. All through school, I was every parents nightmare and every teachers nightmare. It’s just in the last few months that some of it is starting to make sense. I showed my father a video on Asperger’s. He just said, “Don’t go there Michele. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. Capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.” I am so tired of making enemies everywhere I go, no matter how desperately I try to do everything right. I teach school for a living. I’ve been told that I’m excellent at what I do. However, all the social interaction that is required is something that I am a failure at. I am tired of trying to find a diagnosis, because the doctors just say I’m some kind of a hypochondriac or something. Anyway, thanks for the video.
Hi! I,m totalt astonished! And chocked . You are so young and although you are beskribeen me. I am a 51 year old woman from Sweden, (explains my bad spelling): This tuber hit me hard in my stumikbrain. Thank you ! // Sanna .
+Sanna Magnusson Thanks for your lovely comment Sanna! I’ve spent many years trying to understand the world around me and myself. Hope to see you in the comments of future videos! Much love 💕
Hi there, I wanted to see if you could talk about dating, and communicating with the person you're dating and how aspergers influence it. Thank you, I really enjoyed your video. Quite informative.
Amazing video man. Definitely describes me with my Aspergers Syndrome. I was diagnosed at the age of 10 & now I'm 19. I've had a pretty crazy childhood, lol!!! my main fixation are Hip Hop Music, Music & Music Production, Science, History, Metaphysics, Politics, & Computers. I did a video about my condition & having to grow up with it on my channel if you wanna check it out. I really enjoyed this video here, it's really helpful. Especially with the depression that I'm facing at this time.
+MCJ Vlogs Thanks a lot for the comment and I'm glad you like de video! I'll check your channel your out. I wish you the best with battling your depression, I'm going through a period of similar problems so I emphasise with you a lot :).
I usually don't ask for "accommodation," but all my life if I can't bear to compete with ambient noise while having a conversation, I just say "I can't have this conversation. There's too much noise." And that's that.
Thanks for all the Asperger's info, it does help me - an old grandmother with a teenage son who has AS. I find it quite difficult to communicate with him at most times. For example, his granddad and I went to pick him up from the airport where he had been away on a week's holiday doing some contest with robotic cars. He sat behind us in the car, and I tried my best to engage him in conversation, what you might call small-talk. Anyway, I felt quite uncomfortable all the way taking him home because all he said (if anything) was yes and no. I'm quite deaf, so I'm always saying pardon to most things he says, but if he repeats himself, I still can't hear him. In the past, I've explained my deafness to him, however it doesn't make any difference. It's at a stage that really I feel embarrassed trying to hold a conversation with him, so I try to avoid speaking with him much at all. I find it all very sad because we feel he doesn't like us. Do you know how we could try some other way to get closer to him?
+Loxi Bell Talk about his interests and inform him that you value his conversation/attention. Don’t feel embarrassed about engaging him, we get a lot of anxiety from any type of conversation usually, but it makes it a lot easier when there is a specific subject. Hope this helps, thank you very much for the comment :]
I'm not an Aspie, but I don't like small talk unless it's humour. I found that a good way around this is to ask other people questions so they are the ones that are doing the talking. Most people love talking about themselves. This take the pressure off you. Be wary though that it is not too intense so that it feels more like and interrogation.
+Jay Z Lips Always get yourself to a professional to get a proper diagnosis. You can emphasise with any of these traits, but these traits typically come with having autism; some people can have more traits than me but their brain isn’t autistic and that’s the important thing 👍🏻
I've found that people labeled as dyslexic such as myself very intelligent people. I had an opportunity to chat with a room full and It was the best conversation I have ever had. lots of intelligent conversations touching lots of topic's in a very short time It was amazing, no small talk not one of us likes that we rather have intelligent conversations to dumb one word answers or sentences that lacked substance. I've known true adhd people who were smarter then those trying to teach them, an autistic who out shined the so called normal people. labels are an issue it's to keep intelligent people looking stupid so those claiming to be intelligent feel better about themselves. they are the one's shy a few bricks of a full load. just be you and don't worry about the labels. We are the ones who are not trapped in a box with small minds like the majority! I've always been happy being ME (different) and if others want to make issue of it that's their problem.
Thanks for uploading. I’m seeking as much info about living with this “condition” as possible. It’s been a tough 37 years living with Aspergers, but the more I learn about why I am the way I am, the more comfortable I am just being me. I’m sick of having to conform to society for acceptance. It drains all of my energy having to fake it to make it. Ugh, I could go on and on!
No worries, I’m really glad you liked my video! It’s really hard living as an autistic, but we shine brightly in our own ways! I’ve made a lot more videos since this one, I think if you checked them out you might find them useful. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it a lot! 😊
A very informative and well-presented video. My young adult son has undiagnosed Asperger's; I am trying to persuade him to get the diagnosis, but he doesn't see how it would benefit him. Do you feel that being able to put a name to your 'condition' (I hate that word) has helped or hindered you? By the way, I love the fact that you also hate the word 'symptoms', and how you referred to obsessions as passions. People with AS don't just have deficits - they have great strengths too!
+Licorice Allsorts Lovely comment thank you. Get him diagnosed and introduce him to new concepts of neurodiversity (Google it). It may be upsetting as his difference will be causing him a lot of mental and social difficulties; but this acceptance and viewing autism positively comes from maturity. Don't worry. Tom
I am over 5 and going for Aspergers test on Monday so please tell your son to not leave it. I have lived a very isolated life because of this. Hope this of some help.
I agree that the obsessiveness in Asperger people is a passion that is so precious. They are geniuses; too bad that sometimes the society/surrounding couldn't facilitate their passion/geniusness.
When you get past 40 you find it easier to mask social phobias but bottling up who you really are can be really stressful and draining. I have become depressed as I work in a public environment where I'm expected to be cheerful and outgoing. It's sheer hell as I'm battling everyday not to let quirks appear or say the wrong thing so I try not to talk to much. When I have monologued with a complete stranger they looked uncomfortable and bored and the conversation ends rather awkwardly. I hate small talk I don't see the point of it, so all in all I try to hide as much as I can.
Hey! That’s a good point, maybe they do. Traits of Aspergers are however the result of being Autistic; someone could have a hefty amount of traits, but still have a neurotypical brain. Just remember it’s not as simple as ticking off traits, because diagnosing and understanding Autism needs to be on a case by case basis. For example I am definitely Autistic, and scored very highly for Aspergers, but my visible, surface level traits don’t indicate this. Thanks for the question! 😊
Great presentation. I just love your videos. Not only are they entertaining, they are educational and extremly informative. I'm curious, have u ever experienced ongoing full body tension/tightness causing hours intense stretching to combat all the body tightness. I'm noticing it's getting worse. More intense. Thank You, Kimberly
Hi Kimberly, yes bodily tension or ‘pain’ is something I struggle with A LOT. I used to beleive I had some form of daytime restless leg syndrome... but upon further analysis I came across the idea of sensory ‘white noise’. For me I get a lot of white noise in terms of my sense of touch and it is very uncomfortable and painful sometimes. This can sometimes occur in autistic people and this may be because our can be in overstimulated even without stimuli. Autistic children have to do sensory play to help them concentrate as the strong stimuli nullifies the constant sensitivity and excitability. To get over this I as much as a I can, stretch very often, or find someone or something to squeeze my body for around 20-30 mins. After that the white noise seems to die down. This is only abstraction from what I’ve read, but it may help explain that feeling of tension or tightness I hope this helped and thank you so much for your kind words 😊
I don't think there's anything wrong with obsessions, I think it's more the monologueing as you call it that can cause problems. I think it's usually things that most other people aren't interested in so they wouldn't want to hear you talk about it on end but trying to convey disinterest is really uncomfortable because it's considered rude to just say 'I don't care, shut up about it' but more subtle signs like looking away or not asking questions might very easily go over someone's head if they are autistic.
+Elise Weusthuis Social abilities are generally a problem for people with autism. It's all about developing your skills, being aware of yourself and the things that get in the way of conversation flow as well (you don't want to hear someone else monologuing about an uninteresting subject). I do consider myself to be quite adept at communicating, but only because I've put the work in and I explain to my friends the actions that they might find confusing. Just gotta find the right people!
I am 62 and am a High functioning AS guess what we are awesome people...we do think outside of the box we have too. we know how to adjust. I wish people knew how to adjust to their environment instead of having more rules to compliment their fucking laziness. hahaha! Again there is notion wrong with us. It is excessive energy at my age I run circles around people half my age...Ok . Now AS's you are aweomely talented...MY outbursts are more a trait of Honey Badger qualities...We are passionate and not want to do unusual things cause moset things are mundane....Monotonous is even beter than mundane if the subject is good. comments welcome. I am excellent at reading pattern which is a survival skill for us right. And yes people are afraid of me cause I am strange....bahahahahaha!
I am undiagnosed but tick all the boxes. I have taken three different online tests and scored very high for all three. I am 90% convinced that I am Aspergic. I was mercilessly bullied at school, have been at times considered "weird" "eccentric" ..."cracked" (those three were actual quotes) socially dysfunctional, I get preoccupied with very specific interests, apparently high IQ, reading age of 14 when I was 9, click with other AS people etc etc
Thank you once again Tomas the energy field so so needs rebanking for sure . Had a break through and in Hines sight the tools have emerged to start the road to recovery . Thank you for caring and for putting yourself out there once again for the info and a clear point of view on any addiction . Kind regards such a good feeling to have someone on board who talks the same language I get and can effectively put actions into place so me and my soul mate make it for a lifetime xxx❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍
I would often get into trouble when I was young for laughing while telling a person someone has died. I was and still am shy and struggle with anxiety and dislike social situations . The thought of being around lots of people scare me and I can't deal with loud background noise. My brain doesn't funxtion well in these situations. I relate to everything you discussed so I'm beginning to wonder if I should seek a diagnosis. Female over 40 living in Australia.
Hey! Welcome to my channel 🤩! It’s never too late to get a diagnosis! Sure it’s harder to get and harder to tell when your not a kid... but it can give you a bit of solidarity about yourself as a person and help you work on some of the flaws that come with Autism. As for the anxiety in social situations and even background noises... it take a long long long time, but you can become more resilient to the anxiety. I know a lot of non-Autistics who need more social breaks than myself! Thanks for the comment, hope to see your comments in future videos! ✌🏻✌🏻
Worst part is we are unsure of everything. Brutally honest. We are not really out of context.. more like out of phase. We have a sense of humor.. til we dont. Robbed of our confidence. Cursed creatures we be?
I completely agree with you. It’s extremely difficult for Autistics. However it’s not all a lost cause, I’ve worked on myself a lot, done research and applied it to my life and it’s helped a lot. Would love to see you more in the comment section, have a look at my other stuff it might interest you 😊✌🏻✌🏻
I believe we are actually advanced. I believe in a civilized society we wouldnt have to worry how to express ourselves if we didn't think we were being judged....common shit is NOT stimuating....Sarcasm is a language. quit dissing what makes us amazing...sarcasm gets the point across...if you don't like sarcasm the person probably has other traits that put them in ANOTHER catagory.
thank you for that ! after years of being weirdly drawn to Autism, I realized that I got that condition full stop ! ( no one understands my text, or sometimes my comments, a strong disability to lie, not understanding humans behavior or any way of sarcasm and all the other things you mention in this video! got it all! highly intelligent, multi talented ( people cant take that you are great at more than one talent !!) I came to terms with the fact, that I got that condition , since than, I can let myself be. I don't try to fit in anymore but started to explain why and ask more. I`m fine with my crazy ! loneliness is a bitch though !! friends have a way higher standing but also the danger of being hurt beyond no return is always a struggle. thank you for sharing, now I feel more normal :-) in my tiny world
Thanks for your lovely comment Rebecca! I usually can tell a lot of autistics by their methodical and listing type way of talking... so you may be right. Do you have an official diagnosis? If not I urge you to seek it out if possible! From what you said, I recommend you check out my NEW video on Extroversion/Introversion in Autistics... you may find it interesting. You aren’t normal by the way... not even for an Autistic, you’re special in your own way and you should always capitalise off your uniqueness! Thanks for your comment once again, Tom. 😇
Thanks for m making this video. It was helpful👍. I have an autistic child, an autistic cousin, and friend. Also I think my best friend has Asperger's. She has a lot of these symptoms and I recognize them in her. Do you have any advice on how to talk to her about it??? 😟 She struggles a lot because she doesn't understand why she feels the way she feels.💔😢
+Kiara Blessed Hi Kiera! I think you should watch a few more of my videos; as you may not know I don't believe autism/Aspergers is in any way a condition with symptoms. I think it's important to not push any help for it, but try your best to logically convince her, as we don't really speak any other language but logic. It's difficult having autism I grant that, but show her the sources of information. It's very common to reject an autism diagnosis due to feeling like it's an illness and therefore an attack on self esteem. If she still won't have any of it just leave the subject alone, do a bit of your own research on why we get upset/anxious (seen in my videos) and try to emphasise with that with her. If she sees you understand better and maybe even more than herself, she will be a lot more open for help :) Hope this is helpful!
I’m amazed how life makes sense if I look at it through autism spectrum, scored 155 on the o line aspie quiz, I’m realizing it’s just one random test but hours of RUclips research have been enlightening. I’m unsure should I seek a legal diagnosis
I don't know if it counts but I believe it is stimming as I move my fingers over and over as if I was playing my saxophone and also that I talk to myself as in verbalizing my thoughts on what I'm going to do or if I am angry or upset. I do hate that people will tell me oh you'd make a good doctor because you're so serious. Yes I can be but many times they will think I'm not happy but in my mind I am fine. I had a test for Aspergers but I really didn't disclose info I probably should've . Such as I still can't can't go up to a counter as my dad will ask me to go up and order something but then I will freeze up and not be able to do anything and I feel sick. I should be over it as a 17 year old but nope. So yeah not trying to seem as a sellout or whatever but I think that stuff I still do goes against their decision. I also didn't say how I lined toys up when I was little or eating one thing at a time from least to most favorite and being over sensitive to spicy food. Thanks to them I understand jokes and sarcasm but if I don't think about what is said which is most of the time, I take it at face value.
Never been tested about aspergers People think I don't have any kind of autism, but I have depression I'm above 20 yo. Here's my results: No stimming but shaking my legs, lack of facial expressions like blank face, lack of empathy, lack in social activities, avoidant, I had some different obsessions, I take manything literally but i think I can understand sarcasm, bad at small talk (yes I am), not understanding social concept (I think...I can relate to this),I was excelling in math and music, decreased concentration when there's background noise like song, anxious in public, I didn't really fit in social situation, I was bullied (for a few months) Do you think I should be diagnosed? Or maybe it's just my anxiety? Or maybe I had depression BC of my Asperger's?
Hi there! Some of the things you are describing are symptoms of anxiety/depression, but some of them do to point to the checklist of Autistic traits and behaviours, it just depends on the intensity of them. I’d definitely point you in the direction of getting a diagnosis, as it’s difficult to know if what you are describing are just traits of anxiety and generally being human. Definitely get yourself checked out as self diagnosis is sometimes confusing and unreliable 🤗 Thanks for you comment!
Hi, how do I know or what should I do before going to a psychologist to see if I'm in the spectrum? I feel like that actually would explain a lot about myself but I'm not really sure... Thanks in advance.
+Jeaneshka Cruz Tech Tips Don’t think about it! Get yourself there, the worst that could happen is that they tell you, you aren’t autistic straight away and even then that’s pretty positive because you’ll know then!
Exactly. My little brother called me while drinking brewskies and he laughed maniacally saying the above. I insisted "It's spelled with a *p*!" = but he was not convinced = lol
Thank you Thomas. I have a son about your age I assume, that Is brillant and very capable of so much, but I believe he Is dealing with at least some of what your are saying. He doesn´t want any kind of psychological help, in fact he hates even the word. We live far away and he Is big enough and well raised to go out and do his thing but Is taking his time which frustrares me. We had an incredible relationship but now we´ve had a impasse and I am giving him time to grow up a learn. I am afraid though that he will forget about me. I know, always a mom. I hope not. Anyway, thank you again.
Hey and thank you for the comment. I know it may be frustrating, but there is a BIG negative stigma about having Autism, I actually used to hate it and I pinned a lot of my poor mental health and confidence on it. The thing is both socialising, understanding your own/others emotions and just every day functioning is a lot harder when your Autistic. When we get to around my age life can get very stressful and the changes can be hard to adjust to... post school that is. I would not worry about losing your relationship with your son, he is likely to find his pace and way of dealing with life and when he’s stable he will become a lot more open with you. We tend to get a lot of stress and anxiety around talking to anyone, even our parents so don’t take it too personally. You sound like a lovely Mum and he is lucky to have you... A LOT of parents demonise their kids and try to ‘cure’ them. I think if you check out some of my other videos it may help you understand his mindset and the flaws a lot of use autistics have and dont correct unless we accept ourselves. I also have a Facebook page (@aspergersgrowth) if you want to drop me a message I can maybe help a bit more. Thanks for watching and sharing your story ✌🏻✌🏻
Thanks for the advice , my son is 8 . Doctors recon he has Aspergers . I'm waiting on education psychologist assessment being carried out in the next few weeks while he is in his class at school. He ticks the boxes on most of your points . You know what I'm so worried he will get bullied , i broke my heart the other night seeing him have to deal with a group of boys and girls all taking the piss out of him.
+CM FS Thanks so much for your comment! Yes it's true we are a lot more prone to bullying; but I believe if you give him enough a solid explanation of why people bully (insecurities, emotions etc), offer emotional and protective support if he requires it (listen to his problems and provide explanations for his own feelings) and let him know the way people view him will change as his classmates become more mature. All of these if done on a regular basis can do wonders for self esteem and confidence; but only if the explanations are clear and understood. Autistic people even at a young age have a massive capacity to understand things, but it requires a lot of digging to find a middle ground. Hope this helps!
+CM FS Hi there. I'm very sorry to hear your son is dealing with this bullying; it's very common for people on the spectrum and I encountered it regularly when I was younger. You have to remember that it's not your child's Autism that is the issue, it's the education systems problem. Reinforce the idea of him being tolerant of other people's ignorance and provide support if he decides making friend is of importance to him :)
I have aspergers and I can pass as NT very easily, I made a vid on how to pass as a neuro typical thinker, it's actually quite easy and with some practice no-one can tell. I would love to get your input, have a look and let me know.
+Alexander Kingsfallen Hi Alexander. I will take a look if I can find the time! Passing as a neurotypical is no easy feat, but it's my belief that we shouldn't have to pass as a neurotypical. I believe it suppresses who we really are and creates unnecessary anxiety. I dream of a world where neurotypicals will meet us halfway :).
Trying to get honest feedback is very difficult. No matter how directly you ask for it, some people just won't give it. Being misunderstood or negatively judged is a common experience, but we often don't really understand why these things have happened. Everyone acts as if it's obvious. It's not.
Bullys do what you are talking about small talk is boring. that why we are alone a lot...I really don't have an interest unless it is unique. social concepts are bullshit...I am here to help give AS a different spin. Done with the old label....we are really caring people, but you gotta care too. or we know it.
Are you telling people, you are autistic? I know, there is still a stigma with autism in the society. But telling people you do communicate with might be able to understand you better when letting them know you are autistic. I am a NT male. From my self experience with an aspie girl I know she had very much difficulties with the understanding of friendship and partnership- By that time I had no idea about her being autistic. We had lots of misunderstandings and I could not explain myself how that could happen. If I would have known she is autistic, these misunderstandings for sure would have not happened.
I actually never have a problem with small talk I generally like knowing how people getting on and don’t find it boring at all if person moved house I might ask questions like are rooms big or have you get a decent size garden or good size kitchen or bathroom. Whether shops or takeaway restaurants near by i interested in generally buildings type and local areas. When person got a new job I interested in type of job my brother got into crypto I was curious how that works it’s something new I love knowledge very drawn into new knowledge
I'm a 34 year old female from Hampshire UK and am sure i have Aspergers but trying to explain myself to other people ...to communicate this fact seems impossible ! :(
+Victoria Emerson Hi Victoria. What you're describing is a problem a lot of autistic people have; and I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm choosing make these videos for those on and off the spectrum. Helping others understand is hard, but if you were going to start you would have to make sure you fully understand yourself (research, self analysis etc). Next would be to work on your communication skills and also developing some confidence in what you say, so that people will take your seriously. Important communicative skills are based on empathy (aka ability to relate emotionally), so creating some important analogies for your feelings is a great way to do that, along with relating to some of their experiences that may invoke the same emotions/experiences you've had. Hope this is helpful, it was a great question and I will definitely make a video about it soon :)
apparently i have aspergers but i don’t relate to a singl one of these 😭 i think my mom just told me that cuz she was mad. on my physical for sports and other stuff it was never marked that i had any sort of mental disability by my mom nor my doctor. i’m also great w social interaction just have a sort stutter sometimes
+Kim's vsg No worries Kim! I'm very glad you used to word traits instead of symptoms, it makes me very happy. I suggest you try using sarcasm and humour on a regular basis; my father is very sarcastic and so am I as a result of that. I usually get sarcasm from people I regularly talk to, but I find it difficult with new people!
I don't think of him as a symptom. I guess some do but he's just my silly kid. I do use sarcasm with him and he knows when I'm doing it. It's our way of learning to get jokes and how to reply. Thank you !!
Are there any books you would recommend for aspies to read? Something about social rules, I’m sure you’ve mentioned this before but cant find the right video
Social rules are a difficult one. Although there are many books and articles on learning social rules, the best way to learn them is to read content created by Aspies and Autistics about their journeys learning things as you will be able to relate to them more. I don’t know of any specific books that will be helpful, but stay persistent and do your own research. If you do find any helpful articles or books I’m sure most in the comments would be grateful if you posted them! Hope this helped somewhat!
Total respect, fully understand and so do all of my kids ... we are all on the spectrum in one way or another. You have had the guts and courage to speak out on things like this :-)... carry on with what you are doing and make a difference to the world xx
+tat2trudy thanks so much for your comment! It is true that we are all on the spectrum to some degree, but scientifically and from what I've seen it's important to recognise when someone is on the spectrum so others, including themselves, may have a better understanding about themselves. It warms my heart truly to know you benefit from these videos and also through that support! Please feel free to share my content with anyone you know, even a Facebook share would make a big difference :D! Thanks, Tom.
Many thanks for your reply Tom, I usually do share anything like this, not only to my own friends, but to all members of the Mental Health Support Group that I help out with and our own Peerlink Support Workers within these types of groups. We do need more videos like this, just to make people realise and understand, what we go through in life. xx
smiling face. I got in lots of trouble for smiling face. I had no idea I was doing it. (still not classed as an asperger, but only Pragmatic language impairment). have to leave social events and usually have to get to the outside, if I can't leave. monologuing on a subject and intensity on a subject (that is me! calligraphy, kaleidoscopes and others). everything you stated I match. Sad, that I just got diagnosed (with PLI) in 2011.
Thank you for these videos. I'm only just realizing at 49, after all these years of struggle and mental torture. I'm in such a better place now though.
No worries! Welcome to Aspie legion, we will make you feel at home, just let me know whether there’s anything I can help with! Lovely to have you on the channel 😁
Hello there from another fellow Yorkshire dude. I'm a fair bit older than you though, although I don't have a diagnosis. I'm currently trying to get assessed and some of the things you mention do strike a chord. I've been asked many times where I grew up before I moved to Yorkshire because I "talk posh" or "sound a bit posh", when I've lived here all my life. :) My fingers are crossed that I can find out one way or another if this, or perhaps something else even, colours the way I see and interact with the world around me and the humans who live here as I've always had trouble and issues.
Thanks for your comment! It’s nice to hear from another Yorkshire lad. Going through the assessment process can be difficult, especially if you are older, but just make sure you are insistent and don’t give up. I’m very much in the mindset that a diagnosis is clarity of mind and can give you a base for growth. Peace peace ✌🏻
I have aspy, , it was very hard for me with school in the 1950s in the UK,, I could not always grasp what Teachers were saying and so I was disliked and were very sadistic to me for that reason and it was noted by the children who then did the same, but when I reacted to it with fights ect, it was in the teachers eyes me to blame, Sport I was no good at I could not control or catch a ball,, I was at one time top of the entire school on general knowledge and set to represent the school with two others as a team at an inter school quiz, just a day before the quiz I was told to step down,,I was replaced,, when I enquired why I was told we can't have someone in a special needs class represent us,,, ,,, School did learn me something how to Fight, how to tell Lies, how to be Crafty, how to dodge the Blame,, in last 2 years at school got someone to write letters from my mother to get me out of religious education and also sick notes and as a result time off, But was I so stupid as the teachers thought, at 44 I stopped any serious work a bought a smallhold for my self and my horses and where to keep my classic cars, ,
Hi William, I was very intrigued by your story. I can’t imagine what it would have been like back then and struggling with discrimination. Take comfort knowing that the world is changing; Autism and Aspergers will soon be something to take as a serious part of modern society. The people who terrorised you and ridiculed you may have only done so, due to heir narrow minded and lack of intellect... many Aspies or Autistics find their logical maturity to a be a lot higher, a lot quicker and therefore as a kid we can assume others have the same ability. We do things with intent and we assume someone’s intent and level of intellect too high, whereas it may only be a case of not turning on their brain or not being smart enough to notice the consequences of their ‘fun’. I’d really love to hear more about your story if you’d be interested. If you could email me at thomashenley@me.com or send me message on Facebook (Same profile picture as this one), maybe I could learn more about your experiences and possibly do a video with you if you see it fit. Thanks again, I hope to hear from you!
I hope my dad has Asperger's or otherwise he is just a complete asshole. A new friend my mum made came over for a surprise visit and he sat there, rubbing his head saying 'for god's sake, for god's fucking sake' until she left. It was shockingly embarrassing and he seems utterly oblivious to how rude it was. Any advice?
To be honest it just sounds like plain rudeness. Aspergers reduces the ability to understand social rules, but not to that extent. Personalities can be different for autistics and non-autistics. I’m sorry to hear that. Apologies I couldn’t be of much help, thank you for your question though 😊
When I go to a banquet ina large hall, the background noise of all the conversation and the clinking of dinnerware causes my ability to interpret human sounds as words turns off. I was able to overcome this in part by reading lips. But someone could be behind me yelling my name, and I wouldn't know it
I am very close to a person that has Asperger’s. He has so many traits and they’re so classic and affect so many things. I don’t think he knows he has it and I’m wondering, shouldn’t he be told this by somebody so he can understand some things and maybe forgive himself for others and modify in some areas?
I think that would help him a lot. Many people are autistic and don't know. My ex boyfriend were like that, very classic traits. Then I discovered recently I was also autistic
If someone is talking to me or a Dr is asking me about a pain I have I will laugh..the more I act like it's funny the more pain I'm in. I have a hard time in a relationship..when I'm uncomfortable I talk alot..I'm dislectic....I do better with animals. ..my grandfather and dad was autistic and so is my son..we're all a bit different. .I'm not rude...but I do tend to intimidate people..don't do anything to make them think that. .I read a lot so I know lots odds and ends..get people say I'm stuck up...I was the bully who would go after the bully who was hurting someone..so in school I was thought of as the geeks protector..I don't think when I protect someone ...so I've backed down some tuff looking guys..which is odd for female...I don't know my family has different talents..my son and dad have photographic memories. ..is don't I have terrible sense of direction..I can't read directions If someone tells or shows me how to do something I can do it..getting harder now as I'm 65..I'm also getting more verbal..son is a hypochondriac and a picker and very protective of his stuff and short fuse and when he doesn't sleep he had touretts..not speed right..I'm think families just pass on odd stuff..and it goes and goes..andll of us have been able to find jobs doing what we like except my son...he also lacks common sense and at 38 he has no desire to drive or date or have friends except on computer. ..where he isn't really him...he believes make belive and movies are real...so what do you think?????are we just nuts...lol..
Lol! I’d love to know how some people I know are able to be part of a group without seemingly having to input anything...just be there...that must be great...to be able to just quietly enjoy peoples company without having to say or do anything...I’m asked “what’s wrong?” When I do the exact same thing...I’m always like-hey I’m more involved than so n so and nobody asked them a word so..wth..?!?...geese can I just be here???LoL...ah well...
I think you might be thinking of IQ or logical intelligence. There are a lot of different sort, like EQ or others. The definition is "Intelligence has been defined in many ways to include the capacity for logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning, emotional knowledge, reasoning, planning, creativity, and problem solving".
If your cultured or above average intelligent, and don't just talk about nothing all the time, they will label you as Asperger's etc. I'm past caring; give me a label. Maybe we should label all of the 'so called normal people'.
Jason Lee - Yeah, it's getting ridiculous. It you need a 20-minute video so you can tell if someone has Asperger's it makes me wonder if there is actually such a thing.
Although that seems to be the motive, a lot of official diagnosis techniques come from a strong scientific basis. To the person being diagnosed, it can seem all the tests target the resulting factors, but these resulting factors are only visible/primary diagnosis tools... the rest is a complicated process. It’s very difficult to diagnose based on differences in the brain structure, so some errors will slip in. Until we have a definitive brain scanning test, we have to rely on cues and psychoanalysis. Some people who are intelligent/lacking social skills/cultured may have Autism, but they may also be neurotypical... in the same way many Autistics can be uncultured and lack intelligence 😁
OK, for a start, the DSM-V no longer includes Asperger's - it's been rolled into ASD. My point is that if a mental illness or disorder can only be diagnosed after a series of complicated tests AND that disorder is not causing dysfunction or distress that is beyond the range of normal human functioning and behaviour, what is the point of the diagnosis or the label? Why is it called high-functioning autism ("Asperger's", if you will) when an individual is shy, or has difficulty in social interactions, or finds it difficult to make or maintain eye contact, when all of those things are common in the general population? If you are struggling with any or all of those things, you MAY have mild autism, or you may not - it depends on the severity and whether or not the person has other symptoms associated with autism (e.g. stimming, sensory processing difficulties/abnormalities). I believe that Asperger's/high-functioning autism is wildly over diagnosed, so that many normal, healthy people are receiving this diagnosis.
I’m quite aware of the research, being an active scientist myself and there is a lot of questions around this choice to merge these ‘disorders’. Yes it’s true there could be many misdiagnosis, but this isn’t Autism specific, especially in America anxiety is incredibly overdiagnosed, so until someone puts together the funding for a reliable DNA test it should be left in the hands of psychologists. It’s not healthy to undermine professionals in the field as a general rule, especially when there isn’t an incredible amount of profit in diagnosing Aspergers. You should be sensitive when dealing with this topic, as there are many Autistics out there who find living and understanding life incredibly difficult, and without a diagnosis they can spend a lifetime feeling lonely and detached from society. It’s not badge of honour like some people think we see it as, nor is it a social club or life enhancer, the consequences of being Autistic are vast and deeper than a simple label. I’m fairly clear with replying to comments about suspected Autism, this video is meant to highlight some small differences in personality and behaviour for the benefit of people who don’t have Autism, not provide a diagnosis. Personally I don’t like to address comments like this in my channel as there is no clear constructive motive or level of understanding. However a lot of these views will give people the wrong idea and I aim to encourage open discussion. Thank you for your comment however. 👍🏻
Everybody has been sarcastic at some time or another and teenagers are like this a lot as part of thier growing phase. This is normal and no one is perfect but it should be avoided as much as possible. it's considered a form of verbal passive aggression, or can be a technique to push people away. Maybe with aspies a mechanism to protect their space. But there are better ways. People feel offended and may even get thier feelings hurt when people are sarcastic towards them for unapparent reasons. My daughter has a friend who is AS and is sarcastic to strangers in public a lot.
I met a girl who I was sure was on the spectrum, and it turned out she wasn't, but her brother was. I like to think that I have an Asper-sense (I'm on the spectrum myself) and can tell when others are on the spectrum, but really I kind of suck at it lol
Hahaha! I think all aspies have a sense for the traits, but extra reading does help to give you an idea of the traits non-autistics can also have! Thanks for the comment buddy 😁✌🏻
I love martial arts so it's cool your into taekwondo. My eye sight has always held me back from trying martial arts. BJJ was good for me but it cost to much for me.
Ive never been diagnosed but I have pretty much all the symtoms I try to hide it the best ai can because if I dont people treat me like a five year old that cant comprehend anything if only they knew I sepak two languages learned the second one on my own.
Hey people 👋!
If you’re looking for a video that’s a lot BETTER quality and a bit more concise, look know further than my 2018 version ruclips.net/video/515yiKNKgp4/видео.html 😁
Thanks for all the views, I can’t believe how massive this video got... BUT this was one of first ever videos so you MIGHT want to check out some of the NEWER stuff 😜
This made me smile
I have a relative with Aspergers. I love him so much. He is so special and has wonderful abilities to concentrate and communicates eloquently and concisely. He is so inspiring in ways as in how he delves into what he loves. Thank you for this.
+Ramona Beville Hi Ramona! Thanks so much for your lovely comment, it's true that Aspergers is very confusing to understand and sometimes to live with, but there are definitely a lot of benefits. No worries, I hope you watch out for other videos! Thanks.
AspergersGrowth is Mild Intellectual disability apart of aspergers?
+singtitle0078 song Thanks for your question; actually it's common for people with Aspergers to have a higher than average IQ. Einstein was believed to have Asperger's :)
AspergersGrowth yeah but mine is Aspergers and a mild intellectual Disability what's the difference?
This matches my whole entire life. Everything, all of it. At 57 this is me in a nutshell. Wow. Im speechless lol. Kind of makes me feel validated.
Dr Attwood, if you see this, you need to know that your book was what saved me while raising my little Aspi. Please do not blame yourself for not seeing this in your own son. No parent gets through this without feeling inadequate to the task. Thank you for you. Thank you for your book, and all the love that you put into it. I am sure there are countless parents who feel just as I do about you. You are our hero.
As a 52 year old with Asperger's (diagnosed only a matter of years ago) I would like to say even if we do appear to be acting like an arsehole DON'T ditch us - please teach us!
Speaking to none autistics here:-
Have you ever played one of those games were two people know the rule of the game and everyone else has to figure out what the rule is? It might be that a certain word or gesture is being covertly used in a very very subtle way. Slowly, one by one people start to go 'oh I get it' - they have spotted the hidden pattern to what is going on and they feel delighted when they get how simple it is. Ever been the last one in the group who still hasn't grasped it?!! Normally, when you're down to about the last 3 or 4 people (and they're starting to feel really frustrated and stupid) those in the know start to over exaggerated the covert word or gesture in order to help get them there in the end. That' a bit what it's like to have Asperger and be in a social setting. Imagine that if you will. Not a game that lasts for about an hour or so but your 'whole life' because no one ever thinks that another human being needs to be 'taught' to do what humans largely automatically do - 'socialise'
So please please - guide us to this understanding as best you can. Do it kindly. Use a little humour, but not too much because it's unclear to us where the boundaries are between friendly humour and taking the piss!
As I've come to understand it, and I'd love some NT feedback on the matter (NT - that's you if you are not on the autistic spectrum), it would seem that there are signals that pass from your brain to the brain of the person you are communicating with as if by magic. To me this seems like being told 'Santa is real'! The concept that very subtle signals flash through your brain that provides a heap of very useful information when interacting actually seems like 'a fairytale' to me.
I have self-diagnosed at 54 :-) Interested in getting officialised but paranoid.
BaddaBigBoom Paranoid in what way?
Diane Paranoid that officialisation may get me registered by the authorities and therefore subject to any limitations or legal implications they deem necessary. I have not done any background research on what happens when you are assessed yet.
I understand but the more these things come out in open... have met people who were abused and to cover that up makes them more vulnerable so when they come out they get lots of support and it encourages understanding too cos you can usually tell when something wrong.
There will always be some people who can deal with it or not, the body language and speech is different and it is instinctive to be wary of difference but once you understand. I'm hoping chris packham will lead the way.
And there are different levels of aspergers, so many different forms. Employers aren't always the right people to expect sympathy from but I expect there are many in the workplace and world that have shades of this. Some employers you would expect better understanding from and some should actively embrace if it is the sort of job where need to think outside the box maybe for creative reasons. I don't know, I think we find our way in the world and there's a niche for everyone. You have to work out your strengths and less strong areas.
Do breathing exercises help with panic, have you been given coping mechanisms?
But if distressed, panicky best to tell people and tell them what you need too. Also ask what they need because we all struggle at different times.
Yeah disability benefits and all that, not got a good record at moment, I'm hoping things will change. MIND and other charities should be growth industries employed as experts in the field, it's all down to government isn't it.
I spose nobody likes criticism cos can be taken as disapproval and if don't feel able to change then react that way.
I got mates who's behaviour concerns me, if I do mention things cos feel like ought to as a friend then I try to say something positive to balance it out and have got away with it so far...
Maybe he could learn to take a deep breath to relax then develop a stock answer like I hear what your're saying but don't agree and people have to accept that - rather than be verbally aggressive. I wonder what he says that is spiteful?
It is difficult isn't it cos you care. Maybe he feels more comfortable being solo than most people? Got to focus on the positive aspects and distract from negative behaviour maybe, dunno.
I never saw the point in small talk. I still don't know what to say when someone asks me how I'm doing. I have to think about it... like do you really want to know or are you looking for a short answer.. or are you just trying to be friendly.. I don't know. So then with all the time it takes for me to think about my response I end up with a late "Good" and an even later "How are you doing?" Which usually gets ignored.
It's a large chore for me as well. But the effort can be a big pay off for finding like minded people! Thanks for your comment :)!
What's the harm in trying to be friendly? You sound paranoid.
And you sound judgemental and obviously don't understand HFA.
Loxi Bell Harm? I don't understand what you mean by that. Logically speaking, I find humans aren't always sincere with their friendliness... I've learned that over a long period of time and I'm still learning. Learning how to communicate in the way the majority of people communicate is difficult. I observe. I know they "fake" conversations. That's not being paranoid, that's just fact.
Something has happened in the UK the last couple of years. People no longer say 'hello' most people say 'alright'? while walking straight past you. I just say 'hello' like in the past because it's not really a question. Try stopping and saying 'yes, I'm alright thanks, how are you'?, they can't handle it and look confused, because clearly it wasn't a question! What is the point?? People are weird
I have been diagnosed with Asperger's (I guess it's now just called ASD). I fidget, but I don't "stim". I have an obsession with making sure my hair parting is perfectly smoothed down and I find myself doing it randomly throughout the day, but I don't think I do it for comfort. I have a very specific diet that has involved things like going to Wendy's every day after my run (which I have done 6 days a week, every week for 10 years) for a small chocolate Frostee and nothing else. I have always been very socially-capable, if not above average at interacting with people 1 on 1, but I have never had friends because I don't understand how to keep them or text them properly. I tend to have very exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures, but I think that has helped me in my professional career. One major benefit of having Asperger's is that when I apply for a position, I put in far more preparation than most people and leave nothing to chance. As a result, I have a job that receives 20k applicants per year and accepts 1% of them. I have never told people that I have Asperger's and I choose to never use it as a crutch. I had an IEP in high school because my mom thought she needed to intervene and get me more help than I felt I needed. I resent her for this and use it as a chip on my shoulder to achieve in my career, so I guess it helped in a circuitous way. That being said, there are major negatives to the condition. I am 29 years old and have never dated before, nor do I think I'll ever be able to get married despite wanting to. I live alone and have no friends, which doesn't bother me too much except on occasion when I am bored, but generally, I am indifferent. The few friendships I have had either end because I am not responsive enough, too codependent, or I don't understand how to text people and end up making the friend think I don't want to hang out with them. As a result of this, I have refocused my life to derive the majority of my pleasure from my work life. It is what it is.
If you have a kid who has the modern equivalent of Asperger's, do not be a helicopter parent. If they don't want to go to therapy, do not force them. If they don't want an IEP in school because they don't want to be sequestered with classmates with clear cognitive impediments, do not get them one because there is an unavoidable stigma that comes with it. If they don't have friends, don't assume that they want them or feel bad for them--- it was incredibly annoying when I didn't care that I didn't have friends, but my mother did, making me feel guilty. Never try to guide their career choices or neuter their college experience. I went to college, had a single dorm, and had no friends, but I didn't really care. Let your kid figure out his own path.
They are thinking Einstein had aspergers aswell.
Really good video. Makes me feel better about myself knowing im not alone. Im 37 and only just figured out i have aspergers. Had no idea all my life, just knew i was different. Im glad im not alone. Im glad im not broken, just different.
I’m really glad for you! I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the dark for so long with a diagnosis. Definitely try to find or create some local social groups to talk about your experiences. If you have any baggage caused by misunderstandings in the past, you can evaluate them and explain them from different angles.
Welcome to the Aspie team... well officially 😬
Thank you so much for taking the time to follow through and re-record this. It's been very helpful.
It’s so hard for me to listen to someone talk while other things are going on in the background. My boyfriend hates it when I don’t listen to him, it’s frustrating cuz I’m trying really hard to listen
+Modified Curls It is a difficult task, but I can tell you after practising and putting yourself in those situations it will get easier. It will always increase our anxiety, but we have to learn how much we can take and for how long and make sure we have a pair of noise cancelling headphones! Thanks for your comment 😋
By not listening or shall I say, "unable to focus on a person's communication while choas is in the background is normal"... not just an AS thing.
I understand sarcasm, as I am sarcastic. However, I was taught sarcasm my moms. I don't get it if they are strangers, though.
Mainstream Hipster I understand sarcasm if it’s humor, not intended to be mean. Mean sarcasm I often don’t get. Which I love because the sarcastic persons doesn’t get their satisfaction.
same kinda
Hi Nicole, can you explain more about this? I’m very interested 😁
That’s really strange, I’ll have a look into it! Thanks Nicole 😁
. . . and we tend to use really big - inappropriately big - microphones when we make youtube videos. :P (now now, dont go hatin' on me, just messin around). Oh and lastly, we make comments like this one. ;)
Idk but number one I had problem with social interaction and anxiety eye contact etc . I don't like park or city bc busyness and loud
i am nervous and anger so hope get help with this
ps .I like you video hope have a good day!😊✨
+RUclipsrgirl Hi there, thanks for your comment! The most important thing is to realise that autism is a fundamental difference in brain structure. A lot of things which could be markers of Autism can be either a common trait or something more individualistic. Just as in people without autism we are all different in our own way of working, it just serves to make explanations more simple if I talk about general characteristics. I hope you have a great day too!
Not sure what to say here. I’m 53 years old, and I have yet to figure out where I fit in. When I watch these videos about Asperger’s, some of them don’t fit at all, and some of them, like yours, fit every point. All through school, I was every parents nightmare and every teachers nightmare. It’s just in the last few months that some of it is starting to make sense. I showed my father a video on Asperger’s. He just said, “Don’t go there Michele. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. Capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.” I am so tired of making enemies everywhere I go, no matter how desperately I try to do everything right. I teach school for a living. I’ve been told that I’m excellent at what I do. However, all the social interaction that is required is something that I am a failure at. I am tired of trying to find a diagnosis, because the doctors just say I’m some kind of a hypochondriac or something. Anyway, thanks for the video.
Hi! I,m totalt astonished! And chocked . You are so young and although you are beskribeen me. I am a 51 year old woman from Sweden, (explains my bad spelling): This tuber hit me hard in my stumikbrain.
Thank you ! // Sanna .
+Sanna Magnusson Thanks for your lovely comment Sanna! I’ve spent many years trying to understand the world around me and myself. Hope to see you in the comments of future videos! Much love 💕
Video was helpful, Thx, Informative
As a person with Aspergers it’s so easy for me to define symptoms in other people.
Me too
Hi there, I wanted to see if you could talk about dating, and communicating with the person you're dating and how aspergers influence it. Thank you, I really enjoyed your video. Quite informative.
Carmen Mendoza Hi Carmen! Of course I'll get right on it :)!
Amazing video man. Definitely describes me with my Aspergers Syndrome. I was diagnosed at the age of 10 & now I'm 19. I've had a pretty crazy childhood, lol!!! my main fixation are Hip Hop Music, Music & Music Production, Science, History, Metaphysics, Politics, & Computers. I did a video about my condition & having to grow up with it on my channel if you wanna check it out. I really enjoyed this video here, it's really helpful. Especially with the depression that I'm facing at this time.
+MCJ Vlogs Thanks a lot for the comment and I'm glad you like de video! I'll check your channel your out. I wish you the best with battling your depression, I'm going through a period of similar problems so I emphasise with you a lot :).
Metaphysics is my thing - and actually "works" for me like nothing else as I don't find it "boring"
I usually don't ask for "accommodation," but all my life if I can't bear to compete with ambient noise while having a conversation, I just say "I can't have this conversation. There's too much noise." And that's that.
Thanks for all the Asperger's info, it does help me - an old grandmother with a teenage son who has AS. I find it quite difficult to communicate with him at most times. For example, his granddad and I went to pick him up from the airport where he had been away on a week's holiday doing some contest with robotic cars. He sat behind us in the car, and I tried my best to engage him in conversation, what you might call small-talk. Anyway, I felt quite uncomfortable all the way taking him home because all he said (if anything) was yes and no. I'm quite deaf, so I'm always saying pardon to most things he says, but if he repeats himself, I still can't hear him. In the past, I've explained my deafness to him, however it doesn't make any difference. It's at a stage that really I feel embarrassed trying to hold a conversation with him, so I try to avoid speaking with him much at all. I find it all very sad because we feel he doesn't like us. Do you know how we could try some other way to get closer to him?
+Loxi Bell Talk about his interests and inform him that you value his conversation/attention. Don’t feel embarrassed about engaging him, we get a lot of anxiety from any type of conversation usually, but it makes it a lot easier when there is a specific subject. Hope this helps, thank you very much for the comment :]
I'm not an Aspie, but I don't like small talk unless it's humour. I found that a good way around this is to ask other people questions so they are the ones that are doing the talking. Most people love talking about themselves. This take the pressure off you. Be wary though that it is not too intense so that it feels more like and interrogation.
Very good advice, thanks for your comment RUclipsr! 😁
I dont know if I have it but 95 of the things you said was right and also I like think to myself more than I talk to my family or people.
+Jay Z Lips Always get yourself to a professional to get a proper diagnosis. You can emphasise with any of these traits, but these traits typically come with having autism; some people can have more traits than me but their brain isn’t autistic and that’s the important thing 👍🏻
I've found that people labeled as dyslexic such as myself very intelligent people. I had an opportunity to chat with a room full and It was the best conversation I have ever had. lots of intelligent conversations touching lots of topic's in a very short time It was amazing, no small talk not one of us likes that we rather have intelligent conversations to dumb one word answers or sentences that lacked substance. I've known true adhd people who were smarter then those trying to teach them, an autistic who out shined the so called normal people. labels are an issue it's to keep intelligent people looking stupid so those claiming to be intelligent feel better about themselves. they are the one's shy a few bricks of a full load. just be you and don't worry about the labels. We are the ones who are not trapped in a box with small minds like the majority! I've always been happy being ME (different) and if others want to make issue of it that's their problem.
Thanks for uploading. I’m seeking as much info about living with this “condition” as possible. It’s been a tough 37 years living with Aspergers, but the more I learn about why I am the way I am, the more comfortable I am just being me. I’m sick of having to conform to society for acceptance. It drains all of my energy having to fake it to make it. Ugh, I could go on and on!
No worries, I’m really glad you liked my video! It’s really hard living as an autistic, but we shine brightly in our own ways! I’ve made a lot more videos since this one, I think if you checked them out you might find them useful. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it a lot! 😊
A very informative and well-presented video. My young adult son has undiagnosed Asperger's; I am trying to persuade him to get the diagnosis, but he doesn't see how it would benefit him. Do you feel that being able to put a name to your 'condition' (I hate that word) has helped or hindered you? By the way, I love the fact that you also hate the word 'symptoms', and how you referred to obsessions as passions. People with AS don't just have deficits - they have great strengths too!
+Licorice Allsorts Lovely comment thank you. Get him diagnosed and introduce him to new concepts of neurodiversity (Google it). It may be upsetting as his difference will be causing him a lot of mental and social difficulties; but this acceptance and viewing autism positively comes from maturity. Don't worry. Tom
I am over 5 and going for Aspergers test on Monday so please tell your son to not leave it. I have lived a very isolated life because of this. Hope this of some help.
I agree that the obsessiveness in Asperger people is a passion that is so precious. They are geniuses; too bad that sometimes the society/surrounding couldn't facilitate their passion/geniusness.
Why do you hate the word "condition"?
When you get past 40 you find it easier to mask social phobias but bottling up who you really are can be really stressful and draining. I have become depressed as I work in a public environment where I'm expected to be cheerful and outgoing. It's sheer hell as I'm battling everyday not to let quirks appear or say the wrong thing so I try not to talk to much. When I have monologued with a complete stranger they looked uncomfortable and bored and the conversation ends rather awkwardly. I hate small talk I don't see the point of it, so all in all I try to hide as much as I can.
Thank you so much for your comment, this is something I’m hoping to change in our society in the future. Thanks again 🙏🏻
Do you think those with INxx mbti types share half of the asperger traits? Such as obsessive interests and random references?
Hey! That’s a good point, maybe they do. Traits of Aspergers are however the result of being Autistic; someone could have a hefty amount of traits, but still have a neurotypical brain. Just remember it’s not as simple as ticking off traits, because diagnosing and understanding Autism needs to be on a case by case basis. For example I am definitely Autistic, and scored very highly for Aspergers, but my visible, surface level traits don’t indicate this. Thanks for the question! 😊
Great presentation.
I just love your videos. Not only are they entertaining, they are educational and extremly informative.
I'm curious, have u ever experienced ongoing full body tension/tightness causing hours intense stretching to combat all the body tightness.
I'm noticing it's getting worse. More intense.
Thank You,
Kimberly
Hi Kimberly, yes bodily tension or ‘pain’ is something I struggle with A LOT. I used to beleive I had some form of daytime restless leg syndrome... but upon further analysis I came across the idea of sensory ‘white noise’. For me I get a lot of white noise in terms of my sense of touch and it is very uncomfortable and painful sometimes. This can sometimes occur in autistic people and this may be because our can be in overstimulated even without stimuli. Autistic children have to do sensory play to help them concentrate as the strong stimuli nullifies the constant sensitivity and excitability.
To get over this I as much as a I can, stretch very often, or find someone or something to squeeze my body for around 20-30 mins. After that the white noise seems to die down.
This is only abstraction from what I’ve read, but it may help explain that feeling of tension or tightness
I hope this helped and thank you so much for your kind words 😊
I don't think there's anything wrong with obsessions, I think it's more the monologueing as you call it that can cause problems. I think it's usually things that most other people aren't interested in so they wouldn't want to hear you talk about it on end but trying to convey disinterest is really uncomfortable because it's considered rude to just say 'I don't care, shut up about it' but more subtle signs like looking away or not asking questions might very easily go over someone's head if they are autistic.
+Elise Weusthuis Social abilities are generally a problem for people with autism. It's all about developing your skills, being aware of yourself and the things that get in the way of conversation flow as well (you don't want to hear someone else monologuing about an uninteresting subject). I do consider myself to be quite adept at communicating, but only because I've put the work in and I explain to my friends the actions that they might find confusing. Just gotta find the right people!
I am 62 and am a High functioning AS guess what we are awesome people...we do think outside of the box we have too. we know how to adjust. I wish people knew how to adjust to their environment instead of having more rules to compliment their fucking laziness. hahaha! Again there is notion wrong with us. It is excessive energy at my age I run circles around people half my age...Ok . Now AS's you are aweomely talented...MY outbursts are more a trait of Honey Badger qualities...We are passionate and not want to do unusual things cause moset things are mundane....Monotonous is even beter than mundane if the subject is good.
comments welcome. I am excellent at reading pattern which is a survival skill for us right. And yes people are afraid of me cause I am strange....bahahahahaha!
I am undiagnosed but tick all the boxes. I have taken three different online tests and scored very high for all three. I am 90% convinced that I am Aspergic. I was mercilessly bullied at school, have been at times considered "weird" "eccentric" ..."cracked" (those three were actual quotes) socially dysfunctional, I get preoccupied with very specific interests, apparently high IQ, reading age of 14 when I was 9, click with other AS people etc etc
Thank you once again Tomas the energy field so so needs rebanking for sure . Had a break through and in Hines sight the tools have emerged to start the road to recovery . Thank you for caring and for putting yourself out there once again for the info and a clear point of view on any addiction . Kind regards such a good feeling to have someone on board who talks the same language I get and can effectively put actions into place so me and my soul mate make it for a lifetime xxx❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍
I would often get into trouble when I was young for laughing while telling a person someone has died.
I was and still am shy and struggle with anxiety and dislike social situations . The thought of being around lots of people scare me and I can't deal with loud background noise. My brain doesn't funxtion well in these situations. I relate to everything you discussed so I'm beginning to wonder if I should seek a diagnosis. Female over 40 living in Australia.
Hey! Welcome to my channel 🤩!
It’s never too late to get a diagnosis! Sure it’s harder to get and harder to tell when your not a kid... but it can give you a bit of solidarity about yourself as a person and help you work on some of the flaws that come with Autism.
As for the anxiety in social situations and even background noises... it take a long long long time, but you can become more resilient to the anxiety. I know a lot of non-Autistics who need more social breaks than myself!
Thanks for the comment, hope to see your comments in future videos! ✌🏻✌🏻
Worst part is we are unsure of everything. Brutally honest. We are not really out of context.. more like out of phase. We have a sense of humor.. til we dont. Robbed of our confidence. Cursed creatures we be?
I completely agree with you. It’s extremely difficult for Autistics. However it’s not all a lost cause, I’ve worked on myself a lot, done research and applied it to my life and it’s helped a lot.
Would love to see you more in the comment section, have a look at my other stuff it might interest you 😊✌🏻✌🏻
By the way ya such a funny sarcastic bugger don't change one I oater 👍👍👍
I believe we are actually advanced. I believe in a civilized society we wouldnt have to worry how to express ourselves if we didn't think we were being judged....common shit is NOT stimuating....Sarcasm is a language. quit dissing what makes us amazing...sarcasm gets the point across...if you don't like sarcasm the person probably has other traits that put them in ANOTHER catagory.
thank you for that ! after years of being weirdly drawn to Autism, I realized that I got that condition full stop ! ( no one understands my text, or sometimes my comments, a strong disability to lie, not understanding humans behavior or any way of sarcasm and all the other things you mention in this video! got it all! highly intelligent, multi talented ( people cant take that you are great at more than one talent !!) I came to terms with the fact, that I got that condition , since than, I can let myself be. I don't try to fit in anymore but started to explain why and ask more. I`m fine with my crazy ! loneliness is a bitch though !! friends have a way higher standing but also the danger of being hurt beyond no return is always a struggle. thank you for sharing, now I feel more normal :-) in my tiny world
Thanks for your lovely comment Rebecca! I usually can tell a lot of autistics by their methodical and listing type way of talking... so you may be right. Do you have an official diagnosis? If not I urge you to seek it out if possible! From what you said, I recommend you check out my NEW video on Extroversion/Introversion in Autistics... you may find it interesting. You aren’t normal by the way... not even for an Autistic, you’re special in your own way and you should always capitalise off your uniqueness! Thanks for your comment once again,
Tom. 😇
You forgot anxiety and having anxiety attacks.
Thanks for m making this video. It was helpful👍.
I have an autistic child, an autistic cousin, and friend. Also I think my best friend has Asperger's. She has a lot of these symptoms and I recognize them in her.
Do you have any advice on how to talk to her about it??? 😟
She struggles a lot because she doesn't understand why she feels the way she feels.💔😢
+Kiara Blessed Hi Kiera! I think you should watch a few more of my videos; as you may not know I don't believe autism/Aspergers is in any way a condition with symptoms. I think it's important to not push any help for it, but try your best to logically convince her, as we don't really speak any other language but logic.
It's difficult having autism I grant that, but show her the sources of information. It's very common to reject an autism diagnosis due to feeling like it's an illness and therefore an attack on self esteem. If she still won't have any of it just leave the subject alone, do a bit of your own research on why we get upset/anxious (seen in my videos) and try to emphasise with that with her. If she sees you understand better and maybe even more than herself, she will be a lot more open for help :)
Hope this is helpful!
I’m amazed how life makes sense if I look at it through autism spectrum, scored 155 on the o line aspie quiz, I’m realizing it’s just one random test but hours of RUclips research have been enlightening. I’m unsure should I seek a legal diagnosis
I don't know if it counts but I believe it is stimming as I move my fingers over and over as if I was playing my saxophone and also that I talk to myself as in verbalizing my thoughts on what I'm going to do or if I am angry or upset. I do hate that people will tell me oh you'd make a good doctor because you're so serious. Yes I can be but many times they will think I'm not happy but in my mind I am fine. I had a test for Aspergers but I really didn't disclose info I probably should've . Such as I still can't can't go up to a counter as my dad will ask me to go up and order something but then I will freeze up and not be able to do anything and I feel sick. I should be over it as a 17 year old but nope. So yeah not trying to seem as a sellout or whatever but I think that stuff I still do goes against their decision. I also didn't say how I lined toys up when I was little or eating one thing at a time from least to most favorite and being over sensitive to spicy food. Thanks to them I understand jokes and sarcasm but if I don't think about what is said which is most of the time, I take it at face value.
That last one pictured my experiences as a kid and teen but otherwise good video!
Never been tested about aspergers
People think I don't have any kind of autism, but I have depression
I'm above 20 yo.
Here's my results:
No stimming but shaking my legs, lack of facial expressions like blank face, lack of empathy, lack in social activities, avoidant, I had some different obsessions, I take manything literally but i think I can understand sarcasm, bad at small talk (yes I am), not understanding social concept (I think...I can relate to this),I was excelling in math and music, decreased concentration when there's background noise like song, anxious in public, I didn't really fit in social situation, I was bullied (for a few months)
Do you think I should be diagnosed? Or maybe it's just my anxiety? Or maybe I had depression BC of my Asperger's?
Hi there! Some of the things you are describing are symptoms of anxiety/depression, but some of them do to point to the checklist of Autistic traits and behaviours, it just depends on the intensity of them. I’d definitely point you in the direction of getting a diagnosis, as it’s difficult to know if what you are describing are just traits of anxiety and generally being human.
Definitely get yourself checked out as self diagnosis is sometimes confusing and unreliable 🤗
Thanks for you comment!
I'm high functioning. I get deeply involved in certain subjects, can last for months and months.
Great vid, always suspected but never tested. Well explained, and charming.
I appreciate your comment, much love 😁
Hi, how do I know or what should I do before going to a psychologist to see if I'm in the spectrum? I feel like that actually would explain a lot about myself but I'm not really sure... Thanks in advance.
+Jeaneshka Cruz Tech Tips Don’t think about it! Get yourself there, the worst that could happen is that they tell you, you aren’t autistic straight away and even then that’s pretty positive because you’ll know then!
AspergersGrowth, Thank you so much for replying. I'll see how and when I can start with the process. Have a nice day! :)
I prefer the British version of AsperGer's with the "hard" G.: the American pronunciation sounds like a cheeky meal from Mickey D's = lol
+Kirk Barkley ASSBURGERS haha
Exactly. My little brother called me while drinking brewskies and he laughed maniacally saying the above. I insisted "It's spelled with a *p*!" = but he was not convinced = lol
Is it not a German name?
In German, you'd say 'genau,' which means 'exactly,' with a hard g-genau not jenau.
It's really a hard g in Asperger.
Romi-Sana Murekar I believe Asperger was a Austrian but language speaking, yes it is German
Will hartgraves yes, I think my German ex explained it as something like 'Air-Spare-Gurr-z'
Thank you Thomas. I have a son about your age I assume, that Is brillant and very capable of so much, but I believe he Is dealing with at least some of what your are saying. He doesn´t want any kind of psychological help, in fact he hates even the word. We live far away and he Is big enough and well raised to go out and do his thing but Is taking his time which frustrares me. We had an incredible relationship but now we´ve had a impasse and I am giving him time to grow up a learn. I am afraid though that he will forget about me. I know, always a mom. I hope not. Anyway, thank you again.
Hey and thank you for the comment. I know it may be frustrating, but there is a BIG negative stigma about having Autism, I actually used to hate it and I pinned a lot of my poor mental health and confidence on it. The thing is both socialising, understanding your own/others emotions and just every day functioning is a lot harder when your Autistic. When we get to around my age life can get very stressful and the changes can be hard to adjust to... post school that is.
I would not worry about losing your relationship with your son, he is likely to find his pace and way of dealing with life and when he’s stable he will become a lot more open with you. We tend to get a lot of stress and anxiety around talking to anyone, even our parents so don’t take it too personally. You sound like a lovely Mum and he is lucky to have you... A LOT of parents demonise their kids and try to ‘cure’ them.
I think if you check out some of my other videos it may help you understand his mindset and the flaws a lot of use autistics have and dont correct unless we accept ourselves. I also have a Facebook page (@aspergersgrowth) if you want to drop me a message I can maybe help a bit more.
Thanks for watching and sharing your story ✌🏻✌🏻
your mic seems to be voice-activated, to cut out as soon as you stop talking...like a police radio.
I have aspergers syndrome and i get confused by facial expressions
You have a soothing and almost hypnotic voice. I love it. :)
Well thank yooouuu very much! You are wonderfully complimentary 😁!
just truthful :)
I watched this to see if one of my """"friends""""" at school has aspergers
They might do, they might not. They can have all the traits but still not be Autistic 😬
SHH DONT REVEAL OUR SECRETS
Thanks for the advice , my son is 8 . Doctors recon he has Aspergers . I'm waiting on education psychologist assessment being carried out in the next few weeks while he is in his class at school. He ticks the boxes on most of your points . You know what I'm so worried he will get bullied , i broke my heart the other night seeing him have to deal with a group of boys and girls all taking the piss out of him.
+CM FS Thanks so much for your comment! Yes it's true we are a lot more prone to bullying; but I believe if you give him enough a solid explanation of why people bully (insecurities, emotions etc), offer emotional and protective support if he requires it (listen to his problems and provide explanations for his own feelings) and let him know the way people view him will change as his classmates become more mature. All of these if done on a regular basis can do wonders for self esteem and confidence; but only if the explanations are clear and understood. Autistic people even at a young age have a massive capacity to understand things, but it requires a lot of digging to find a middle ground. Hope this helps!
+CM FS Hi there. I'm very sorry to hear your son is dealing with this bullying; it's very common for people on the spectrum and I encountered it regularly when I was younger. You have to remember that it's not your child's Autism that is the issue, it's the education systems problem. Reinforce the idea of him being tolerant of other people's ignorance and provide support if he decides making friend is of importance to him :)
I have aspergers and I can pass as NT very easily, I made a vid on how to pass as a neuro typical thinker, it's actually quite easy and with some practice no-one can tell.
I would love to get your input, have a look and let me know.
+Alexander Kingsfallen Hi Alexander. I will take a look if I can find the time! Passing as a neurotypical is no easy feat, but it's my belief that we shouldn't have to pass as a neurotypical. I believe it suppresses who we really are and creates unnecessary anxiety. I dream of a world where neurotypicals will meet us halfway :).
Trying to get honest feedback is very difficult. No matter how directly you ask for it, some people just won't give it. Being misunderstood or negatively judged is a common experience, but we often don't really understand why these things have happened. Everyone acts as if it's obvious. It's not.
Bullys do what you are talking about small talk is boring. that why we are alone a lot...I really don't have an interest unless it is unique. social concepts are bullshit...I am here to help give AS a different spin. Done with the old label....we are really caring people, but you gotta care too. or we know it.
Are you telling people, you are autistic? I know, there is still a stigma with autism in the society. But telling people you do communicate with might be able to understand you better when letting them know you are autistic.
I am a NT male. From my self experience with an aspie girl I know she had very much difficulties with the understanding of friendship and partnership- By that time I had no idea about her being autistic. We had lots of misunderstandings and I could not explain myself how that could happen. If I would have known she is autistic, these misunderstandings for sure would have not happened.
I actually never have a problem with small talk I generally like knowing how people getting on and don’t find it boring at all if person moved house I might ask questions like are rooms big or have you get a decent size garden or good size kitchen or bathroom. Whether shops or takeaway restaurants near by i interested in generally buildings type and local areas. When person got a new job I interested in type of job my brother got into crypto I was curious how that works it’s something new I love knowledge very drawn into new knowledge
I'm a 34 year old female from Hampshire UK and am sure i have Aspergers but trying to explain myself to other people ...to communicate this fact seems impossible
! :(
+Victoria Emerson Hi Victoria. What you're describing is a problem a lot of autistic people have; and I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm choosing make these videos for those on and off the spectrum. Helping others understand is hard, but if you were going to start you would have to make sure you fully understand yourself (research, self analysis etc). Next would be to work on your communication skills and also developing some confidence in what you say, so that people will take your seriously. Important communicative skills are based on empathy (aka ability to relate emotionally), so creating some important analogies for your feelings is a great way to do that, along with relating to some of their experiences that may invoke the same emotions/experiences you've had.
Hope this is helpful, it was a great question and I will definitely make a video about it soon :)
apparently i have aspergers but i don’t relate to a singl one of these 😭 i think my mom just told me that cuz she was mad. on my physical for sports and other stuff it was never marked that i had any sort of mental disability by my mom nor my doctor. i’m also great w social interaction just have a sort stutter sometimes
Hahaha ..I'm watching this while spinning my Rotablade Tri Stubby :-)
My son has most of these traits. You are very informative. Thank you. His has gotten better since he turned 18 but he doesn't get sarcasm at all
+Kim's vsg No worries Kim! I'm very glad you used to word traits instead of symptoms, it makes me very happy. I suggest you try using sarcasm and humour on a regular basis; my father is very sarcastic and so am I as a result of that. I usually get sarcasm from people I regularly talk to, but I find it difficult with new people!
I don't think of him as a symptom. I guess some do but he's just my silly kid. I do use sarcasm with him and he knows when I'm doing it. It's our way of learning to get jokes and how to reply. Thank you !!
Are there any books you would recommend for aspies to read? Something about social rules, I’m sure you’ve mentioned this before but cant find the right video
Social rules are a difficult one. Although there are many books and articles on learning social rules, the best way to learn them is to read content created by Aspies and Autistics about their journeys learning things as you will be able to relate to them more. I don’t know of any specific books that will be helpful, but stay persistent and do your own research. If you do find any helpful articles or books I’m sure most in the comments would be grateful if you posted them! Hope this helped somewhat!
Total respect, fully understand and so do all of my kids ... we are all on the spectrum in one way or another. You have had the guts and courage to speak out on things like this :-)... carry on with what you are doing and make a difference to the world xx
+tat2trudy thanks so much for your comment! It is true that we are all on the spectrum to some degree, but scientifically and from what I've seen it's important to recognise when someone is on the spectrum so others, including themselves, may have a better understanding about themselves. It warms my heart truly to know you benefit from these videos and also through that support! Please feel free to share my content with anyone you know, even a Facebook share would make a big difference :D! Thanks, Tom.
Many thanks for your reply Tom, I usually do share anything like this, not only to my own friends, but to all members of the Mental Health Support Group that I help out with and our own Peerlink Support Workers within these types of groups. We do need more videos like this, just to make people realise and understand, what we go through in life. xx
I really dislike the word integration, I don't want to and will not integrate,. Best to just be who you are, unless your a danger to society.
smiling face. I got in lots of trouble for smiling face. I had no idea I was doing it. (still not classed as an asperger, but only Pragmatic language impairment). have to leave social events and usually have to get to the outside, if I can't leave. monologuing on a subject and intensity on a subject (that is me! calligraphy, kaleidoscopes and others). everything you stated I match. Sad, that I just got diagnosed (with PLI) in 2011.
Thank you for these videos. I'm only just realizing at 49, after all these years of struggle and mental torture. I'm in such a better place now though.
No worries! Welcome to Aspie legion, we will make you feel at home, just let me know whether there’s anything I can help with! Lovely to have you on the channel 😁
@@ThomasHenley aaw thank you. Maybe I have questions in the future.
Hello there from another fellow Yorkshire dude. I'm a fair bit older than you though, although I don't have a diagnosis. I'm currently trying to get assessed and some of the things you mention do strike a chord. I've been asked many times where I grew up before I moved to Yorkshire because I "talk posh" or "sound a bit posh", when I've lived here all my life. :)
My fingers are crossed that I can find out one way or another if this, or perhaps something else even, colours the way I see and interact with the world around me and the humans who live here as I've always had trouble and issues.
Thanks for your comment! It’s nice to hear from another Yorkshire lad. Going through the assessment process can be difficult, especially if you are older, but just make sure you are insistent and don’t give up. I’m very much in the mindset that a diagnosis is clarity of mind and can give you a base for growth. Peace peace ✌🏻
I'm an aspie who loves Yugioh too.
+Jacob Veritas LETS DUEL 🤺
+Jacob Veritas LETS DUEL 🤺
Thank you. Very helpful.
Best looking British person I have seen.
I have aspy, , it was very hard for me with school in the 1950s in the UK,, I could not always grasp what Teachers were saying and so I was disliked and were very sadistic to me for that reason and it was noted by the children who then did the same, but when I reacted to it with fights ect, it was in the teachers eyes me to blame, Sport I was no good at I could not control or catch a ball,, I was at one time top of the entire school on general knowledge and set to represent the school with two others as a team at an inter school quiz, just a day before the quiz I was told to step down,,I was replaced,, when I enquired why I was told we can't have someone in a special needs class represent us,,, ,,, School did learn me something how to Fight, how to tell Lies, how to be Crafty, how to dodge the Blame,, in last 2 years at school got someone to write letters from my mother to get me out of religious education and also sick notes and as a result time off, But was I so stupid as the teachers thought, at 44 I stopped any serious work a bought a smallhold for my self and my horses and where to keep my classic cars, ,
Hi William, I was very intrigued by your story. I can’t imagine what it would have been like back then and struggling with discrimination.
Take comfort knowing that the world is changing; Autism and Aspergers will soon be something to take as a serious part of modern society. The people who terrorised you and ridiculed you may have only done so, due to heir narrow minded and lack of intellect... many Aspies or Autistics find their logical maturity to a be a lot higher, a lot quicker and therefore as a kid we can assume others have the same ability. We do things with intent and we assume someone’s intent and level of intellect too high, whereas it may only be a case of not turning on their brain or not being smart enough to notice the consequences of their ‘fun’.
I’d really love to hear more about your story if you’d be interested. If you could email me at thomashenley@me.com or send me message on Facebook (Same profile picture as this one), maybe I could learn more about your experiences and possibly do a video with you if you see it fit.
Thanks again, I hope to hear from you!
@@ThomasHenley Hi thanks for the reply,, will send another message soon ,,
Thanks all
Great, informative video. Thanks for posting.
I hope my dad has Asperger's or otherwise he is just a complete asshole. A new friend my mum made came over for a surprise visit and he sat there, rubbing his head saying 'for god's sake, for god's fucking sake' until she left. It was shockingly embarrassing and he seems utterly oblivious to how rude it was. Any advice?
To be honest it just sounds like plain rudeness. Aspergers reduces the ability to understand social rules, but not to that extent. Personalities can be different for autistics and non-autistics. I’m sorry to hear that.
Apologies I couldn’t be of much help, thank you for your question though 😊
DUDE YOU GOT STYLE!
+doodle mcdoodle Yeah booiiiiiiii
Halfway through the video it hit me like “ woah this guy looks so much like Justin timber lake!!” Lol. Jokes aside, thanks for the video.
I’ll take it as a compliment 😉
When I go to a banquet ina large hall, the background noise of all the conversation and the clinking of dinnerware causes my ability to interpret human sounds as words turns off. I was able to overcome this in part by reading lips. But someone could be behind me yelling my name, and I wouldn't know it
Introverted people exist, for reference.
This is definitely the best RUclips channel on Aspergers
dope!
this. is. me.
subbed
Zorion Zen Cheers buddy! Great to have you as a subscriber! 😃
I am very close to a person that has Asperger’s. He has so many traits and they’re so classic and affect so many things. I don’t think he knows he has it and I’m wondering, shouldn’t he be told this by somebody so he can understand some things and maybe forgive himself for others and modify in some areas?
I think that would help him a lot. Many people are autistic and don't know. My ex boyfriend were like that, very classic traits. Then I discovered recently I was also autistic
Thanks for sharing Valuable information.
Great video 😊 i have aspergers myself and everything in your video is very accurate thanks for sharing 😊
Lovely, thanks for your comment 😊
Try not to confuse sarcasm with irony .😏😏😏
If someone is talking to me or a Dr is asking me about a pain I have I will laugh..the more I act like it's funny the more pain I'm in. I have a hard time in a relationship..when I'm
uncomfortable I talk alot..I'm dislectic....I do better with animals. ..my grandfather and dad was autistic and so is my son..we're all a bit different. .I'm not rude...but I do tend to intimidate people..don't do anything to make them think that. .I read a lot so I know lots odds and ends..get people say I'm stuck up...I was the bully who would go after the bully who was hurting someone..so in school I was thought of as the geeks protector..I don't think when I protect someone ...so I've backed down some tuff looking guys..which is odd for female...I don't know my family has different talents..my son and dad have photographic memories. ..is don't I have terrible sense of direction..I can't read directions If someone tells or shows me how to do something I can do it..getting harder now as I'm 65..I'm also getting more verbal..son is a hypochondriac and a picker and very protective of his stuff and short fuse and when he doesn't sleep he had touretts..not speed right..I'm think families just pass on odd stuff..and it goes and goes..andll of us have been able to find jobs doing what we like except my son...he also lacks common sense and at 38 he has no desire to drive or date or have friends except on computer. ..where he isn't really him...he believes make belive and movies are real...so what do you think?????are we just nuts...lol..
Lol! I’d love to know how some people I know are able to be part of a group without seemingly having to input anything...just be there...that must be great...to be able to just quietly enjoy peoples company without having to say or do anything...I’m asked “what’s wrong?” When I do the exact same thing...I’m always like-hey I’m more involved than so n so and nobody asked them a word so..wth..?!?...geese can I just be here???LoL...ah well...
I think you might be thinking of IQ or logical intelligence. There are a lot of different sort, like EQ or others. The definition is "Intelligence has been defined in many ways to include the capacity for logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning, emotional knowledge, reasoning, planning, creativity, and problem solving".
If your cultured or above average intelligent, and don't just talk about nothing all the time, they will label you as Asperger's etc. I'm past caring; give me a label. Maybe we should label all of the 'so called normal people'.
Jason Lee - Yeah, it's getting ridiculous. It you need a 20-minute video so you can tell if someone has Asperger's it makes me wonder if there is actually such a thing.
Although that seems to be the motive, a lot of official diagnosis techniques come from a strong scientific basis. To the person being diagnosed, it can seem all the tests target the resulting factors, but these resulting factors are only visible/primary diagnosis tools... the rest is a complicated process. It’s very difficult to diagnose based on differences in the brain structure, so some errors will slip in. Until we have a definitive brain scanning test, we have to rely on cues and psychoanalysis.
Some people who are intelligent/lacking social skills/cultured may have Autism, but they may also be neurotypical... in the same way many Autistics can be uncultured and lack intelligence 😁
OK, for a start, the DSM-V no longer includes Asperger's - it's been rolled into ASD. My point is that if a mental illness or disorder can only be diagnosed after a series of complicated tests AND that disorder is not causing dysfunction or distress that is beyond the range of normal human functioning and behaviour, what is the point of the diagnosis or the label? Why is it called high-functioning autism ("Asperger's", if you will) when an individual is shy, or has difficulty in social interactions, or finds it difficult to make or maintain eye contact, when all of those things are common in the general population? If you are struggling with any or all of those things, you MAY have mild autism, or you may not - it depends on the severity and whether or not the person has other symptoms associated with autism (e.g. stimming, sensory processing difficulties/abnormalities). I believe that Asperger's/high-functioning autism is wildly over diagnosed, so that many normal, healthy people are receiving this diagnosis.
I’m quite aware of the research, being an active scientist myself and there is a lot of questions around this choice to merge these ‘disorders’. Yes it’s true there could be many misdiagnosis, but this isn’t Autism specific, especially in America anxiety is incredibly overdiagnosed, so until someone puts together the funding for a reliable DNA test it should be left in the hands of psychologists. It’s not healthy to undermine professionals in the field as a general rule, especially when there isn’t an incredible amount of profit in diagnosing Aspergers. You should be sensitive when dealing with this topic, as there are many Autistics out there who find living and understanding life incredibly difficult, and without a diagnosis they can spend a lifetime feeling lonely and detached from society. It’s not badge of honour like some people think we see it as, nor is it a social club or life enhancer, the consequences of being Autistic are vast and deeper than a simple label. I’m fairly clear with replying to comments about suspected Autism, this video is meant to highlight some small differences in personality and behaviour for the benefit of people who don’t have Autism, not provide a diagnosis.
Personally I don’t like to address comments like this in my channel as there is no clear constructive motive or level of understanding. However a lot of these views will give people the wrong idea and I aim to encourage open discussion. Thank you for your comment however. 👍🏻
Everybody has been sarcastic at some time or another and teenagers are like this a lot as part of thier growing phase. This is normal and no one is perfect but it should be avoided as much as possible. it's considered a form of verbal passive aggression, or can be a technique to push people away. Maybe with aspies a mechanism to protect their space. But there are better ways. People feel offended and may even get thier feelings hurt when people are sarcastic towards them for unapparent reasons. My daughter has a friend who is AS and is sarcastic to strangers in public a lot.
I met a girl who I was sure was on the spectrum, and it turned out she wasn't, but her brother was. I like to think that I have an Asper-sense (I'm on the spectrum myself) and can tell when others are on the spectrum, but really I kind of suck at it lol
Hahaha! I think all aspies have a sense for the traits, but extra reading does help to give you an idea of the traits non-autistics can also have!
Thanks for the comment buddy 😁✌🏻
I love martial arts so it's cool your into taekwondo. My eye sight has always held me back from trying martial arts. BJJ was good for me but it cost to much for me.
interesting video. took me years (recently) to understand that many things i did were explained by Aspergers and then went and looked into it.
Not watched this all the way through, getting late but this lad is doing very well; I get the impression he's come a long way, best of luck mate!
I reference stuff a lot that only I seem to know what it’s all about and a lot of mismatched physical/facial response unintentionally
This was great content and it took a lot of courage to get on and speak of it. Thank you so much
Yiha another asperger video in my recommendations
Welcome to the family 😁🙌🏻
Ive never been diagnosed but I have pretty much all the symtoms I try to hide it the best ai can because if I dont people treat me like a five year old that cant comprehend anything if only they knew I sepak two languages learned the second one on my own.
I have been called brash!....I didn't know what that meant...I do now....hahahahaha no filter bro