My OCD Story.
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- Опубликовано: 7 май 2022
- In honour of Mental Health Awareness Month, today I will be sharing my OCD story -- the struggles, the symptoms and the triumphs. #BreaktheStigma Thank you so much for taking the time to watch, I really appreciate it. ❤
My cosplay and OCD video: • I Have OCD... Let's Ta...
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Thank you so much for watching, it seriously means a lot! ❤ If you'd like to see more cosplay and nerd-related videos, please consider subscribing!
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I don't think I've ever heard someone describe almost exactly word for word the issues I've dealt/been dealing with before. This video kind of made me understand things a bit more. I'm glad you're in a better place now and thanks for sharing your struggles :)
Thank you Anya for telling us about your story! OCD isn’t very known and people believe it’s like being strict on health (while yes that can be true) but it can effect your thoughts. Thank you for sharing!
I think people dealing with these issues on a daily bases and generally in their life are strong as hell. Thank you so much for sharing your story
hello
I actually have OCD as well and I know what the things you're telling are like
you're a hero, seriously
don't be ashamed of where you're at now, because the only person you can fairly compare yourself to is only yourself, other people are just too different
so you're awesome by overcoming all this and making your way through an every single new day✊🏿
Thank you so much for the encouragement, I appreciate it! 🥰🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I definitely relate to the idea that you’re behind/not where you should be in your life/career because of your mental health or other limitations, but I think it’s also important to remember that there shouldn’t be a standard of “success” professionally etc. and that following your own path and taking your time to find your own happiness, and work to overcome your struggles is so incredibly brave and strong. I’ve loved watching your videos during your time on RUclips and am so glad you’re here on this platform :)
That means a lot thank you so much 🥺💕
A few years ago, I interviewed you over voice chat for a college journalism project about harassment in cosplay. Learning about your communication anxiety, I just want to thank you so deeply for allowing me to interview you back then. I don’t know if you even remember that, but it meant so much to me, even more now that I know we share similar anxieties about communication like that.
I totally remember! I'm so happy to have been able to help you with your project. 🥰
@@AnyaPanda it really meant so much! Still my proudest college project. I’m graduating in two weeks and I still think about how well it came out!
I had a different kind of ocd ..it was about making notes ..so whenever i used to study i had a preset goal in my brain that i need to have the most beautiful handwriting, my notes should have each and every word my teacher said ...what happened was my work didn't satisfied me enough everytime so i ended up tearing my notes a lot to the point that every end of the day i had half of the pages ripped of out of a notebook and i cannot tell you how bad i used to feel inside to the point that i wanted to die . I was so scared of it so i tried searching it up ...found out i became a perfectionist and so i looked for how to control it . Get rid of it . The solution was that no matter how much uncomfortable you are don't do what your perfectionist brain tell u to . So i tried ..i made notes with my ugly handwriting as fast as i can ... didn't tear any of them . Surprisingly i was less uncomfortable . I used to feel more uncomfortable when i tear off my notes . Now it's been 7-8 months . I'm so happy . My grades are among the top . I can't express how happy i am that I'm not the same person anymore
I don't have OCD but my sister does, and I do have bad anxiety and ADHD that I wasn't diagnosed with until I was 20. This video is so relatable! It's frustrating to spend most of your life living with a debilitating disability, and to not know you even have it so you blame yourself for things you can't change about your brain :( I too didn't drive until I was older and had breakdowns about needing to talk to people to complete tasks that other people found simple, and I'm stuck in retail despite going to school because a 9-5 would just not be possible with my ADHD. Much love to you for sharing this! OCD especially is stereotyped in a really inaccurate way, and I think it's so important and good for people to share their actual experiences with it. I saw firsthand how much my sister struggled with it, and i always cringe when I hear those kinds of "straightening the pictures" jokes.
I've always hated when people said I had OCD just because I need things to be organised and clean to be able to work properly. I would tell them that that's not it, that's not what OCD is, but they would not take me seriously. Because I CAN work in an unclean environment, I just dont like it, it dims my motivation and productiveness.
Thanky you for explaining OCD so thoroughly, now I'm even more sure I was right.
Both this video and your previous one have really inspired me. I hope soon I can work up the courage to make a similar video about my experiences! It's really emotional and cathartic to hear someone speak so plainly about mental health struggles
I don't usually comment on a lot of videos (just cause I mostly watch RUclips on my TV lol) but this one really hit home for me, as someone who also really feels behind in life largely due to my OCD and other mental and physical health challenges I've had, as well as someone who is a Vanny/Vanessa Kinnie and Cosplayer and just literally obsessed with Vanny lol, You just described exactly how I feel and Ive always felt the same way about relating Ness's voice in her head (aka funky glitchy rabbit man lol) to my OCD/mental illness but never knew how to explain that to others in a way that I felt like wouldnt make me sound crazy lol, like,, this video was literally so comforting to hear you describe exactly the words to explain it and know that Im not alone lol so Thank You so much for this video!! 💜💜🐰🔪💜💜✨️✨️
Thank you so much for sharing! I have OCD too and it was very comforting to hear your story :)
Thank you for sharing! The talk about intrusive thoughts hits home for me. I've never had a label for it but have called it "persistent bad thoughts". I'm glad your figuring it out and have help. And again thanks for using your platform as a cosplay youtuber and sharing this info.
Glad you talked some more about this. It breaks my heart whenever I hear about little kids leading tortured lives. Even today a large proportion of adults are psychologically naive and seem blind to the bleeding obvious in their children's mental health. I hope you got at least some good cuddles while you were a child and going through all this. As to the future, and I probably said this before, a good cry is your greatest friend. Learn to view that if you are suffering greatly you have a right to cry about it, it is never a failure or a sign of failure. Anyway, lots of love, you are a real sweetie.
I really appreciate you sharing this. I suffer from some mental illnesses and I understand that it can be difficult to open up about them. You are someone that I look up to in the cosplay world and it is comforting to know that someone I admire is going through similar things that I am and are able to take strides in the right direction to be better. Hearing your story makes me feel like I can do better about helping myself too. I really can’t express in words how much you opening up and sharing your story has helped me.
I hope this video can be seen by more people and help someone who's struggling with similar issues. Thank you for sharing your story! 🙂
This is kinda late but this is such an informational video for people who don’t have ocd like I have it and sometimes I can’t seem to quit put how it feels into words but you did it perfectly. And It was really nice for someone to bring up how bad the ocd stereotypes are because I honestly think that it took me so long to get a diagnoses because I didn’t have a clean room or that I was messy when I’m reality that has nothing to do with what ocd looks like for me. I’ve been struggling with this for years and I only got diagnosed around a year or two ago. The compulsion that I’ve struggled with the longest is something that I thought was normal because I honestly can’t remember a time when I didn’t have it. And also intrusive are honestly so bad that they have sent me to a mental hospital before. Sorry for the bad grammar in this comment but I’d like to finish it off by saying thank you so much for making this video.
thank you for sharing your story!! it makes me happy you can see yourself through venessa :)
Thank you for sharing you OCD story & how this has affected you & how you've worked & are working to live your life with it. And now you have you have a paid voice actor job, so BIG YAY for you! You rock, Anya x
I'm sorry about the hardships you had to go through growing up and now. But know that you are a very talented and beautiful young woman both inside and out and don't let anyone or anything bring you down.
Really appreciate you sharing your story Anya and you're totally right in that we should be having more conversations about taking care of our mental health ❤️ Thanks for your strength!
Also did not know that about Vanessa! Really cool to see more characters in pop culture have that level of relatability! Always appreciate the amazing work on your videos Anya! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for your comment, Seb! I really appreciate it and appreciate you taking the time to watch this video. 🥰🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing! I dont suffer from OCD but have my own mental health struggles.
First of all thank you for sharing something so personal to help people understand OCD better.
While I don't have OCD I do have Stress triggered Depression and I 100% agree the intrusive thoughts, especially the ones caused by anxiety suck so much.
thank you for sharing this. i recently got diagnosed with ocd and a couple other anxiety disorders and hearing other people's stories is infinitely helpful to me as it helps me feel like i'm not alone in this. your videos and content always make my day so thank you again for being such a light in my world
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words! I truly appreciate it. 🥺🥰🙏🏻💕
it is really brave to tell a story like that, i know it might not mean very much from a stranger but im really proud of you for it, and for getting help for yourself and doing so well as you have..
Don't belittle your achievements just because it isnt where you think you should be, you will get there at your own pace, in a way that is good for you
and dont forget your followers (us) love you :)
hi
I also have OCD myself, I think its so amazing that your so open about this. It really helps people like me feel comfortable about ourselves. Its been something I've struggled with for a few years now, and through those years you helped me with your videos. Your amazing! Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for your comment, it truly means a lot hearing that. 🥰🙏🏻
I have been thinking about something a lot lately, that I hope you don't mind me sharing. You have taken time out of your life to be very active and responsive on your social media platform, and it has made me feel a lot more engaged and (for want of a better word) seen when I interact with you and your content.
Hearing how difficult it is for you to respond to things because of your OCD makes me appreciate it all that deeper because of how much it seems to take for you to do it. I know you've talked about in previous videos how you get more than your share of icky comments, but as someone who is trying his best to use spaces like these to be positive, you just being here to respond with a thank you and a smile really does a lot for me and probably a whole heck of a lot of other people.
It seems like you have made a lot of progress, and I hope you make time to celebrate that as you continue moving forward. You're truly an inspiration and this world is better because of all the work you've done.
First of all, sick shirt. Second of all you brought something up I personally struggled with in the past. I compare my success against others around me, which is a horrible thing to do. I ended up just comparing myself to members of my cohort that were the most successful and feeling really unaccomplished because of that (aka confirmation bias). I've learned to not compare myself so much to others and instead measure my success against myself and who I was a week ago, or a month. As long as the current version of myself is a little better than before I consider that a win. "Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes your behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself" -Baz Luhrmann
Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD!!! I'm sure you are helping others to understand what it's like to live with this "issue" on a daily basis!!! I'm so glad that we (as a society) are talking about mental health much more openly!!! Dealing with anxiety and depression is something I too have struggled with, but in my day there wasn't a name (or treatment) for it!!! Having OCD doesn't mean you're "crazy" it just means you prosses information differently!!! Keep your chin up and try to focus on how far you've come!!! 😁💚💚💚
Thank you Shari 🥰
Your videos on ocd have been so inspiring and informative. My partner has ocd as well you’ve helped give me perspective on what he goes through and to have more patience. Stay strong queen 💜
Thank you so much, I'm so glad these videos have been so helpful for you! 🥰
Right now you're working trowards becoming the best version of yourself, most people start doing that in their late forties.
So if you'd ask me, I think what you're doing is pretty damn impressive.
You might not be where you want to be yet.
But spiritualy and mentally you've grown, and I think you should be pretty damn proud of that.
Just think of what the younger version of yourself would think of her now.
Sappy, I know.
But I needed to hear that a while ago and so could anyone reading this comment.
Hi Anya!
Thank u so much for this video 💛
I suffer from ocd too, I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts, anxiety and severe procrastination since I can remember. It has been a hell of a road but I know I got this. This last few weeks have been specially hard and I find myself procrastinating all the time, I’ve been feeling really guilty and mentally exhausted for not doing my tasks and not trying harder but after hearing you I felt understood, not judged and seen. We have to go easy on ourselves and sometimes that’s not easy, but u made me do it today, thank u. I have this work to finish and I’ve been avoiding doing it for weeks because it’s almost physically painful but this video made me feel so normal and guilt free that when I noticed I was doing it, finally!
This video just really made my day, you are an amazing human being 💛
Thank you so much for sharing this.
I'm so happy to hear that this video had such a positive impact on you! Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it and for your comment, I really appreciate it. 🥰
i have SEVERE emetophobia and i related to that fear and having to do things a certain way part so much oh my goodness
Thank you for sharing your story
I don't comment much but as a fellow cosplayer with ocd, thank you. Seriously, thank you. Your channel is what motivated me to begin cosplaying, and you sharing your experiences with mental health makes me feel less alone in the hell :)
I'm so glad to hear that! Thank you so much for watching and for your comment. 🥰🙏🏻💕
I've never been diagnosed with anything but now that I'm hearing your story its making me think how similar that is to me? (The games, the intrusive thoughts, anxiety) I'll make sure to bring this up to my therapist 😭
This made me feel better about my introspective thoughts :,) thank u for sharing
Thank you for watching!
I’ve known for a while now that I probably have OCD, but you mentioned things that I hadn’t heard explained in this way before. Like the sorta ‘demon’ who sorta taunts you and tells you things you don’t want to think. And how you sorta will have what sometimes feels like other people you talk to in your head who will walk you through things. I talk to myself in that way a lot, and I certainly have had that demon before. The older I’ve gotten I think the more I’ve been able to put my foot down on my demons but it definitely hasn’t been easy. I haven’t gotten treatment, fingers crossed I can do that soon, but it was certainly comforting to see someone who understands what’s been going on with me.
Hyy wt r ur thoughts
Thanks for making this video, Anya, even if you perhaps had to step outside of your comfort zone. I’ve been following you for four years now, and can’t wait to see where you go in life. ❤️
Thank you so much, that really means a lot. 🥺🙏🏻💕
I don't have OCD but I do suffer from intrusive thoughts. They do in fact suck. Having your brain hijacked is terrible.
I have had anxiety and depression for most of my life. I would say starting in my preteens at least. It wasn't until I left an abusive relationship I was stuck in for 10 years (I was 17 when it started and a mixture of my existing depression and being told that no one else would want someone like me kept me there for much longer than I should have been) Then I started therapy and my life has started to improve. I've been able to find a medicine that has helped me be able to get my learners permit at 31 years old. Before I would panic just having to turn on the car. I feel a little silly about being proud of the progress I've made because I'm so much older than anyone else I know who I learning to drive. Thing is it's okay. It's okay that I have started later in life. I'm improving myself and that is always good no matter what age you are.
That is so reassuring to hear I'm not alone! Congrats on all you've accomplished and thank you so much for sharing your story. 🥰🙏🏻
While I don't have the same symptoms as you do, your previous video made me realize that what I've been labeling as just general anxiety for myself might actually be a specific type of OCD?
For most of my life, for a week or so every few months I will suddenly have terrible sleep because I start "breathing manually" and can't get my brain to stop obsessing over it. I haaate those "you are now breathing manually" posts online too, because that actually triggers it sometimes (I'm very sorry if this post triggers it for anyone else). It's incredibly stressful even though I know that once I'm asleep, my breathing will be normal again. Crying at 4 in the morning about feeling like I'm too dumb to know how to breathe is NOT fun.
I'm on anxiety medicine but I've never been to a specialist to get an official diagnosis. This might just be the push I need to go for it though, so thank you!! (And I'm almost 30, so I'm sure everyone is at a different point in their mental health journey and it's never too late to figure things out!)
Interesting. I truly hope you're doin' well, girl. You are awesome and very sweet and funny.
Hi Anya,
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I dont have OCD but I do Have Sturge Webber Syndrome. Whitch in turn makes me have seizures and strokes. Sometimes they will make me pass out. The most common Type are Grandmal seizures. I feel your pain. Because of thiese seizures/strokes, I cant drive either for fear of having one while im in the car. So because of that i often have to ask people for rides if i have to go a far distance and i hate doing it. Also because of said seizures i cant really have a full time either so im not exactly rolling in it. If i ever get a lyft or Uber is barlely ever.
💙
I have ADHD. I was diagnosed as a kid, but my parents were those 90's parents who thought that kind of thing was just a scam and I didn't have ADHD, I was" just a bored kid", so they never actually got me help with it. And then they proceeded to get upset with me for struggling with the effects of having ADHD like, and one example, having done my homework but forgetting to turn it in if I'm not prompted to do so while in a position where I could do it right away. Obviously this caused my grades to suffer due to constant markdowns for late work.
i have ocd i am always worried i used to be all good until i devlop ocd
facts my mind is always exploding😞
I have a type of anxiety that comes from trauma. It is very limiting because it literally makes me afraid of people, talking to others and/or asking for things essentially. I am 39 and still get terrified of people. It feeds on my having depressive episodes that cause me to not use the right emotive response when the given moment happens. (Basically I show anger when people are sad, and vice-versa) it makes my life a living hell sometimes because my emotions aren't always fixed right, but it's because of early infancy/childhood trauma.
That's awful, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, that truly does sound like hell. 😔
@@AnyaPanda It really sucks, child abuse really doesn't make life any easier. I've gotten a wee better with it. But still have to do my best to find ways around it. Cosplaying helps me because I'm not being myself, so I can just feel comfortable enough to what it's like to not be that way.
I never heard anyone else talk about the cracks in the floor :)
:)