Hi! Thanks for being here with us. Here are some other strategies for crossing the sad gap that stood out to me in comments to Hank's video. (Please leave yours in comments!) -John 1. There is very little evil - Almost no one thinks they are evil, or that their beliefs or policies are malicious. If you had a different life, you'd have different values. 2. Listen to the people who are working on solving the problem and research their past successes. There are many ways in which the world is better than it was a generation ago. Find the people who are helping to drive these successes and pay attention to them. Pay attention as well to the people who are calling out the problems we face in new ways that will help us to tackle them better. 3. Connect with individuals: Building relationships is both a way to cross the sad gap (because you'll find that you're working/thinking/volunteering with people who are also trying to solve the same problems that are important to you) and a way to learn more deeply about the challenges you care about. 4. Believe in the possibility of humanity. Look to the moments when we have shown real solidarity and taken meaningful steps to make the world suck less. Look to the way the people of Damascus responded to the plague, or the ways systems have been built to better serve our shared needs. 5. You can only have one first priority: This is what inspired today's video! 6. Be grateful for the work of others. On the problems you don’t have time to interface with deeply, do not think “this problem will solve itself” think “there are wonderful people who I trust to work on this.”
I said this before and I'll say it again: caring is a finite resource. You can't care about everything and need to trust your fellow humans to jump in as required (an old video by Hank taught me this actually). To continue point 3 - you can only have one first priority AND you can only have a finite set of priorities. The challenge here is figuring out which priorities need your help the most AND which ones you actually have the spoons to help. Example: i am a disabled person with several disabilities, in grad school - at present, my free time is spent volunteering in efforts that make education more accessible to disabled folks. Is that the most important humanitarian crisis we are facing right now? - no (well how do you even define what is more important?). But does it need to be solved? - yes. Am I passionate enough about it to give it all my remaining spoons? - yes. Eventually, I hope to go beyond my province, and try to help disabled kids in India - but again, at present, my own province is about all I can manage, and i trust that there are people out there helping those kids in the meantime. To summarize: Pick your battles wisely and delegate the rest.
Thank you for this beautiful video and these additional insights. I spent a few years prioritising something very important to me and took all of my (limited) wealth, knowledge, passion and abilities to try and address this one very particular problem. The project got off to a good start, I got invited to talk at a local TEDx event, and I was hopeful that I would be able to carry this ambitious project to fruition and then see it grow into whatever it needed to grow. Unfortunately, I was quite alone in trying to pull this massive project forwards and found myself exhausted within a few years and had to abandon the project because of a multitude of reasons. I have since found myself deeply wedged in the sad gap. I learned a lot - for sure - but not all of what I learned was positive. One of the most painful lessons was that most (if not almost all!) people are extremely ego-driven and have little empathy towards our species as a whole and, by extension, little interest in helping us genuinely move forward, aka decrease world suck. Your videos are always so beautifully positive and forward looking - it would be interesting to sometimes hear of the dead-ends and how one might shed the lingering depression that can come after deep personal failures and the loss of hope.
Number 1 gets twisted. Yes, if I had a different life I'd have different vales. But it's still unbelievably effed up that there's an open and agressive eugenics effort going on right now with the pandemic, and a lot of other things. If I benifited from it, yeah, I'd probably be okay with it. Certainly much more okay with it. That wouldn't make it any less effed up. Which is not to say things can't change. Things will change one way or the other. But yeah. You can't tell me the people agressivly trying to eugenics me actually think it's for the best for anyone but themselves. And eff you if you try.
As a mental health advocate in Colombia, I've been living in the sad gap, overwhelmed by the difficult task of reforming a complex system. Your couple of videos have given me hope. Now I know I need to pick one aspect, and stay. I will do my best to improve my country. Thank you.
As a mental health patient, I thank you on behalf of all the folks like me who need good care. As you say, it's very hard to reform complex systems. But it can also make a long-lasting difference. Thanks for doing that hard work. -John
I broke my feet today because I kicked my computer because someone commented that my videos are bad! I hate unjustified criticism. Please wish me a speedy recovery, dear juan
I said this before and I'll say it again: caring is a finite resource. You can't care about everything and need to trust your fellow humans to jump in as required (an old video by Hank taught me this actually). To continue point 3 - you can only have one first priority AND you can only have a finite set of priorities. The challenge here is figuring out which priorities need your help the most AND which ones you actually have the spoons to help. Example: i am a disabled person with several disabilities, in grad school - at present, my free time is spent volunteering in efforts that make education more accessible to disabled folks. Is that the most important humanitarian crisis we are facing right now? - no (well how do you even define what is more important?). But does it need to be solved? - yes. Am I passionate enough about it to give it all my remaining spoons? - yes. Eventually, I hope to go beyond my province, and try to help disabled kids in India - but again, at present, my own province is about all I can manage, and i trust that there are people out there helping those kids in the meantime. To summarize: Pick your battles wisely and delegate the rest.
To add to this slightly, John Vervaeke’s series on the Meaning Crisis helped to me understand how absolutely foundational and fundamentally necessary it is that care, or attention, is a finite resource. I used to think that claims like these were superficial or at least helpful heuristics despite it being untrue or at least uncertain claims (that attention/care is finite). But now I understand that to care about anything itself REQUIRES that you function on at least an econo-logical level, (that you disregard/do not attend to certain resources). And to care experientially REQUIRES that you disregard/do not attend to something else. It is fundamental that to think/interact/consider something experientially, you are NOT considering an infinite amount of something else. Sorry for the novel, I wanted to try to write a summary of Vervaeke’s ideas in an attempt to not just throw another random recommendation out there on the internet, but his stuff is hard to summarise.
I think disability accessibility may in fact be one of the great humanitarian crises of our age, for all living people are only one illness or injury away from being considered disabled, whether temporarily or permanently. There is no person on earth who is exempt from potentially joining this protected yet extremely vulnerable class of citizens, who I count myself among. I personally feel that overcoming my afflictions while honoring my limitations is the best way forward, and it’s an approach with sharing! Anything I can do to further your efforts, please let us know, and congratulations on tackling graduate school!!!
Despair is a useless emotion, but it is *seductive*. Thank you for the reminder that energy works best when it's focused and that all is not, as it might seem, actually lost.
Remembering Dr Farmer - “With rare exceptions, all of your most important achievements on this planet will come from working with others-or, in a word, partnership.” ❤
John's response reminds me of something he quoted in the Anthropocene Reviewed podcast. It's from his student chaplain days. I don't remember exactly who it was, but one of his advisors or mentors told him "don't just do something, stand there." That's really stuck with me. In times of crisis, we can get caught up in the desire to do something. Something that feels productive and will make us feel better, as though we have done our part to "solve" the problem. Short-term solutions in the wake of a disaster, a conflict, or a global health crisis are important and necessary and it is vital that the public contribute in anyway possible. However, as John says, sometimes the most important thing, and the most difficult thing, to do is stand there. Stay. Dig in. Resist the urge to move on to the next crisis and do the hard work of building a stronger social, economic, and/or physical infrastructure, even on a small scale, so that we can be prepared for the next crisis instead of just reacting to it.
Thank you for this video, John. As a new socially conscious architect in Ethiopia, I've been feeling pretty helpless in the face of the recent Civil War here, the inflation that's making construction so difficult, and the political divisions among close friends and loved ones at large. I believe a lot of the local problems are solvable -but as you said, they need in-depth involvement & constant attention. So yesterday, I put out a video just 'dreaming out loud' about the things I'd work on here, given the time. And it kind of attracted experts & optimists here. Now I look forward to seeing where those collaborations take me (plus find out where I'll need to go deep). p.s. 'The Sad Gap' could be a great book title
When you’re out of the sad gap, some of these strategies seem obvious: rely on the help of others and learn from past mistakes/successes. But when you’re in the center of the sad gap, overwhelmed and bogged down by all the world’s problems, these things don’t even come to mind. Trying to focus on one thing at a time can truly help people, not by minimizing who you are helping, but by maximizing your ability to help them.
Another thing that helps, particularly if you're high in empathy and compassion: know that you're more hard-wired to want to protect people and therefore aren't noticing as much when things are going well, you'll have to make more of a conscious effort to do so. Even though there is still a lot of problems to solve, as a society we've made more progress in the last 60 years than in any other time in human history. Equality and poverty are the best that they have ever been, access to education and medicine and food is the highest it's ever been, we better understand and have more resources for mental health now than ever, and people have more opportunity now than they any other time in human history. That's not to say we don't still have a lot to do, of course we do - but if we just focus on the negative we end up feeling like now is the worst time to be alive and I guarantee you that most people in history would beg to differ. Gratitude and appreciation go a long way not just for alleviating the sad gap but also for motivation to keep working towards progress. Cheers and DFTBA
@@raspberrytaegi Sure. The UN has a lot of stats - Between 1990 and 2015 global extreme poverty fell by 32% in just 15 years. There's an interesting paper on the topic if you look up history of poverty. In 1800, about 80% of people lived at or below the poverty line, in 1950 it was at 60%, and today it's around 10%. The US average hourly wage in the mid 1800s was about 9 cents, which is about 3 dollars an hour in today's money - less than half minimum wage - that was before labor laws, so ever since labor laws, less and less people have been living in extreme poverty. And that's not even going back to the middle ages or further when pretty much everyone that wasn't royalty was poor. But yeah to my original point - things still need improving and we have a lot of folks that still need help and whatnot, but if you look at how far we've come over the last few hundred years - every generation is getting better - so that's encouraging. Hope it helps!
In the same way that telling someone who is depressed about their personal life, "Get over it other people have it worse in the world." Doesn't help, telling someone who's depressed about the world, "People had it worse before" does nothing to help.
@@awesomesauce1030 I personally do find it reassuring. It's a reminder, that even though things can definitely get worse, the long term trends of society as a whole are positive. There's obviously no guarantee they will continue to improve, but if the past is anything to go by, we should probably be at least a little more optimistic.
@@awesomesauce1030 yes, telling a depressed person other people have it bad does them no favours. by contrast, sometimes giving a depressed person an opportunity to tangibly help someone else can be really meaningful for the depressed person.
I want to underline John's conclusion about choosing one thing and going deep, because that matches quite well with my experience too. I actually got a job in homeless services, and being immersed in that milieu helped me to realize that this was not an unsolvable problem, that people had been doing the research and trying different things and collecting the data and therefore we, as a community of providers knew what the solution was and how to implement it. This was also where I first met and got to know people experiencing homelessness and listened to what they had to say. As I say this, I realize that my experience directly supports going deep and also items 2-6 in the pinned comment. I don't mean to exclude item 1, but I have different feelings about this. Yes, there is very little evil and I don't want to undermine that point, but there are people who haven't gone deep and think they are doing good but in fact are only soothing their own anxieties. And while they are not consciously malicious, they do advocate for policies that are, in fact quite bad for the people affected and for the progress on reducing the suckiness of the situation. Watch out for them. And also, forgive them for they often know not what they do.
After reading this and a couple of your other reply comments on this video, I want to say that you seem very wise. I suspect every community you get involved with, be it homeless services or nerdfighteria, greatly benefits from having you in it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences.
@@Fimbleshanks Thank you, that's very kind of you to say. I often feel the same way about John and Hank. I should say, though, I have to put a lot of conscious effort into forgiving people who are advocating bad policy and I don't succeed as often as I should.
@@rmdodsonbills And that awareness is valuable. So much respect and thanks to you, as someone who has benefited from individuals working to solve homelessness crises.
I said this in the comments of Hanks video too but I’ll say it again here that this community is a big way for me personally to overcome the sad gap Whenever voices are getting too loud and saying that things are hopeless nerdfightaria reminds me again and again that no they’re not and there’s things that we can do, and I love it for that (and many other reasons) 🖤
Hey John, I've been feeling really hopeless lately, both existentially and personally, so I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to your coming to my school on Wednesday, and I hope you're not too nervous to speak because we all love you so much and are so excited to see you :)
So I used to teach a university engineering class that focused on creating solutions. One of the biggest issues was that students would try and solve problems they saw without talking to the people affected or connected to the problem. I think that's a similar issue to the ones you brought up; I also think it's human nature and arrogant and can also be a reflection of our internal -isms (racism, ablism etc.) My students would get upset at me for telling them no ideas until after area research, but they would still try. These ideas never worked as well as the post area research ones. One clear example from a neighbouring campus class was a storage shed for animals in a bushfire; they proposed filling a fireproof shed with animals of all types and using sleeping gas. The students clearly saw a problem and cared, but with no background or research, a non-viable and clearly faulty solution was thought of. This is like the Ebola example John gave where the answer to a need for health care workers on the surface is more workers during the crisis, but looking into the issue, this would do more harm than good. A company example is Autism Speaks (a different topic) TL:DR, solutions to a problem should never be put in place without researching the area first, and you can't do that for all, so focus on where you (personally) can reduce the most worldsuck
Yep, I've seen that out in the real world, too. Even when you see a problem, sometimes it isn't as big an issue to those involved as it might seem or that its just an effect of a bigger issue and is better served by finding a solution to the bigger issue. For example, there's a lot of focus on homeless encampments in many cities and one thing that catches attention is campfires going out of control. So someone in the Fire Department hierarchy suggested that they should replace the tents and tarps people were using for fireproof or at least more durable enclosures for them to sleep in. Well, if you take that suggestion to its logical conclusion, you call it a home and they don't need a campfire at all.
Engineering students (and often engineers in general) not connecting with people and not understanding that we produce technology/ solutions etc. for people and society is one of my biggest pet peeves (I’m and engineering educator doing my PhD in the area). It sounds like you saw students solve some really interesting problems in that class!
@@Nao_Craft very true I saw them come up with great solutions too I taught in country Australia so a lot of country road safety and farming. Good luck with your PhD.
@@Nao_Craft What an astute observation. I once had a director in public services who would pride herself on having ‘an engineer’s mind’ and would favor people she felt had the same “gift”. Although I respected her work I fundamentally disliked this trait in her (without have pinpointed what specifically irritated me). Her solutions often did push us forward but she was not known for kindness or inclusion. I felt so much cringe anytime she indicated she saw this “engineer brain” trait in me. I am a logical, organized, process-minded problem solver by nature and sometimes the ‘best’ way to solve a problem does steamroll over the humans impacted by the problem. Being able to solve problems or create efficiency or improve productivity- sure- it’s valued. But…being able to do those things with respect for and inclusion of the human element is an art.
I am so glad you decided to stay and bring a lot of us with you! It is definitely something that helps bridge that sad gap for me. My other tool is local action. Trying to be more active in my community even if it's just a litter picking group. Those bonds are what hold us together and help us see the world outside of the internet.
I’ve been working in Haiti for over twenty years and living here with my family for the past six. The longer I stay the more I understand how insanely complex the issues are. The more I learn, the more questions I have. But as to your premise - the choice to stay, and walk this road here with our Haitian friends has been the best one. I’ve found my solidarity and supoort has provided more help than any of my western ideas could have. As for me, I think being painfully aware is better than blissfully unaware - as painful as it is.
John, I’m a human rights manager for a UK supermarket, I find my brain constantly wanting to solve all the worlds problems such a challenge. This really helped me remember that prioritising and focusing on sustainable support is the right approach, and I have shared it with my colleagues so we don’t get disillusioned! Long time watcher, first time commenter x
I don't know where exactly my priorities lie, yet. I personally always feel the urge to try to change everything at once. I want to fight against climate change, queerphobia, sexism, racism and social inequality all at once, even though I know that's not possible. I'm hoping that me being politically active and now studying social sciences is gonna help me develop those interests further and help me to find my priorities. And I think for now, trying to find your own way in this often confusing labyrinth that we call our lives should be enough. 💫
There is certainly a time for making your priority "figuring out what my priorities are." And it's also the case that you can switch priorities from time to time. Indeed, if my friends with ADHD are any indication, having a few priorities that you can cycle through might be a valid strategy. But definitely don't try to do everything at once. Also, there may be something you can do that impacts more than one of those areas, such that focusing on that one thing can have wide effects. There is definitely overlap among social inequality, queerphobia, sexism, and racism.
@@rmdodsonbills It's quite interesting to read this comment while I'm in the proccess of figuring out if I might have Adhd xd And it definitely happens to me that I sometimes suddenly develop a strong interest in a certain topic. And yes, there definitely is an overlap between all those issues as nothing can exist completely isolated from other things in our society. I personally feel like by being politically active and by choosing the field of study I did I might be able to do things related to multiple of those issues, so who knows where that journey'll eventually take me
I'm the same way. I look around and see so many problems, it's hard to pick just one. I remember hearing someone saying it's like a chorus: everybody doesn't sing exactly the same thing, there are different parts, sometimes someone will sing solo.
@@katendress6142 I like that analogy! The parts are different but they complement and support each other, making a whole greater than the sum of its parts.
This advice is also good for sound mental health. You have to learn that you can't do everything and take care of everybody. Pick one or two things and really commit to them! Thanks for another excellent video.
I think it's also important to acknowledge that, sometimes, for a brief period, it is *okay* to sit in the sad gap. I'm a reproductive justice activist and worker and I have been my entire adult life, and I'm watching in horror and rage as the legal framework that makes me able to do what I do best, that makes me able to answer my life's calling, is being chipped away with abandon. You're absolutely right, John - we need to "look for the helpers," we need to learn from those who brainstorm and innovate about these issues for a living, we need to be creative thinkers, we need to be collaborative, and we absolutely, absolutely *must* center the most impacted in our work. However, I think it's also important for those of us who've dedicated our lives to this kind of thing to take a beat, be still, feel the grief that's barely restrained by rage and fear and disgust, and honor those feelings. The crucial part, though, is that we can't stay there. We must not bury our grief in complacency. We have to act, in ways big and small.
Regarding how to find your 'cause': at the start of 2019, after finally getting permanent work, I committed to donating a small amount of money to 52 different charities - one per week. This is likely a terrible strategy long-term, because so much money is lost in transaction fees at the level I could give at, but I wanted to learn and needed a target. I planned each month to have one charity local to me or somewhere I'd previously lived, one about a cause I already cared about and often had personal experience with (LGBTQ issues for example), one for a cause I knew nothing about and one solving a massive global challenge. I read books, I googled lists of rare diseases, I examined the criteria for 'effective' charities, flawed as this may be. It was, at times, difficult to see the level of need but I also saw that there were so many people helping and so much change being made in so many areas. At the end of the year, I chose one charity from each of the categories and now give a more substantial amount to each, though still trivial in the scheme of things. I really found by starting big and going small that I found some hope and perspective and I'd recommend it to anyone who feels as lost as I was at the scale of the problems we face.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend this for the long-term, but as a means of finding a good fit, I like it a lot. And don't discount your efforts as "trivial in the scheme of things." First of all, you can only do what you can do and doing something is better than doing nothing. Second, even trivial contributions add up. My college choir was touring in Switzerland and one of our performance venues was a Catholic Church in a small mountain town. I noticed that at the end of each row of pews there was a small indentation in the floor. Sure enough, I genuflected (sort of a half-kneeling curtsy Catholics do before sitting down at services) and my knee landed directly in the divot. I don't know how many centuries that church had been there, but it was long enough for thousands of knees to wear away a shallow hole in the floor despite the fact that if you examined any individual knee after any given genuflection you'd be hard pressed to identify even the smallest particle of floor stone.
Having priorities is so important. Giving $5 to everyone who asks does very little good and will bleed your dry. Giving $50 or $500 or $5000 or $5,000,000 to the causes that matter most to you is so much more effective. The same principle is true about our worry and energy. We cannot fix everything and worrying about everything will once again bleed us dry, but by focusing our energy we can do real good in that one space.
First of all, this has been very helpful for me. I’ve been spinning around in despair thinking I am useless in a world that values how useful you can be. I know my thoughts are faulty but I struggle figuring out what to do. So thank you for this. What helps me traverse the sad gap is knowing that there are so many good people trying to make the world a better place, and that I can join in, too. I learned that it’s not a matter of skill or competition (1. this isn’t about us or how great we can be at helping 2. It’s always the collective effort that creates change, it is hardly the work of one person), it’s about finding somewhere the world needs us to be and make the best we can, following through to the end. I may have basically paraphrased what’s already been said, but I’m really thankful for the community and inspiration that vlogbrothers has built all these years. What I’ve always admired about vlogbrothers is not that John’s an author or that Hank’s a musician or that they built Crash Course or not even that they’re brothers (but all those are amazing, too!); what I admire most is that these are two people who consistently try to decrease world suck, and proving that it can be done, too.
When I got into college, I fell into my own Sad Gap because I wasn't in an environment I wanted to be in and all my friends were loving college and having a great time. I moped for a while, but eventually, I just started DOING things: learning to cook, focusing on my grade enough to transfer out of my college, learning to solve a Rubik's cube, and practicing driving. I think that we shouldn't control things we can control, but I also think that we should do something about the things in our life that we CAN control.
Your videos on this topic feel like they've given me permission to specialize and focus my attention. I've been accepted to law school and I want to be a union lawyer and advocate, and it helps my omnidirectional dread to tunnel vision on something that I'm making distinct progress on. Thank you both for giving language to this!
I love that. It was needed right now. I saw a tweet today that said, "There needs to be a kindness manifesto" and I've been thinking about that all day.
Thank you both, John and Hank. I work for a one of the "too big to fail" financial institutions and my focus since I started was to increase POCs representation at mid to senior levels for several reasons but mainly to increase generational wealth for our POC communities. This challenge is complex and sometimes it feels hopeless but this video helps more than you know. It takes time, patience and compassion to drive systemic change.
Truly my favourite place on the internet. Thank you for starting this conversation. I have shed a little cathartic tear watching yours and Hanks video this morning.
I’m a social work student in Canada and we had a guest speaker in one of my classes who said “change happens at the speed of relationships” which I find to be a comforting thought to consider while in the sad gap. The person I’m quoting is in upper management in our child welfare system. And they could very well succumb to the sad gap when we think about the over representation of indigenous children in care, especially against the backdrop of the ways social workers have treated indigenous children and families in the past (the sixties scoop, the millennium scoop). This speaker admitted to feeling stuck in the sad gap at times and gave us the advice that it can be a useful place to visit, but not to linger. Go out into the world and focus on your relationships with other people, because relationships and rapport are prerequisites for change
I definitely find that picking a center of focus no matter how small it may seem can give purpose and fulfillment that just worrying about everything never does
Yes to everything that John said! And I want to add: in doing this important work, our capacity to listen and center to the most marginalized voices and value their ways of knowing is crucial!
Yes to going deep. I've been in the work of supporting social movements working toward food sovereignty for several years now and only learn more every day about the possibilities and how folks around the world stay grounded because of community and connection that reminds us that change is possible. Appreciate this conversation y'all!
I find myself getting frequently overwhelmed by not only national and global crises but also personal crises - my own AND those of people I love. It's hard to prioritize any of them when they all feel so undeniably urgent - leaving me stuck in the gap. Its something to work on, for sure.
This is EXCELLENT! I worked in non profit for a couple years with an organization providing eye health care to India and countries in Africa, and I learned SO MUCH. John, what you've said here is the part about charity most folks don't realize: the money needs to be spent to create lasting and sustainable results, and that means developing systems from the ground up, setting up a strong foundation and building on it. In the case of the charity organization I was with, the funds went to getting these programs off the ground and then donor dollars weren't needed to sustain them after the initial set up, because the rest of the operation was subsidized by the money made from patients who could afford to pay for eye care. Yes! We have such a capacity to make lasting, positive change, and that knowledge is something that has kept me hopeful and optimistic throughout the pandemic and all the bumpy turns the world has taken. Thank you for this!!!
You two and this whole community never fail to prompt me to think deeply about a cause, both putting me into the sad gap sometimes because of dealing with big issues but then immediately providing ways to help gross that gap and start doing things. I think I will remember the sad gap as a term forever now and find this as a way to help cross that gap.
Absolutely profound, John. Pointing out that emergency response does nothing to fix this issues of infrastructure and other human constructed concepts, tangible or social, is a critical point to get our heads around. This matters in LDCs and it matters in MDCs as well. This is where the conversation in nonprofits, for profits, and governmental agencies should exist and I believe education matters. Thank you for all the education, John and Hank! I'm imagining all the effort, thought, creativity, money, and other resources spent in the world on solving problems being spent in ways that make a deeper, more sustainable difference through the type of thinking that John is talking about. What would happen if we started building a framework of understanding, a theory, if you will. A theory for educating those who want to build a better future to not spend resources in ways that cause further harm, in ways that take into account what work can be done in the future to build upon the work already done in a meaningful and lasting way. Continually destroying progress and reinventing the wheel could become a thing of the past, the avoidance of which could be a part of the process of problem-solving, implementation, monitoring, and evaluation. I'm inspired!
I'm an immigration lawyer in Australia dealing with a system that is often fundamentally flawed both morally and legally, and watching this video really helped me to feel positive about the choice I've made to stand my ground and become an advocate for the most vulnerable people in this area - from refugees and asylum seekers, to stateless people and long-term residents of Australia whose families are destroyed when their visas are cancelled. Thank you, and don't forget to be awesome 💚
I’m so far in the sad gap that even beginning to think about the harm I must be causing by focusing too much on short term solutions and constantly shifting my attention makes me feel even more depressed and hopeless, pushing me further into it. But recognizing the problem can be the start of addressing it, and at the end of the day I’m just a human trying my best. So thank you, these videos have really helped
I’m so grateful to be a part of this community. Since 2008, my participation has been a 3/10 most of the time, but I still feel like I matter. Thank you to everyone who makes Nerdfighteria possible and special thanks to those working for and with PIH to make the world a healthier place.
One of the reasons I find going deep so valuable, is that you connect with other going-deep people, with varying priorities, that fill in the gaps in your understanding. I don't remember who said it first, or where I studied this first, but the claim that Connection is one of the main reasons humanity has been successful in survival and evolution has always stuck with me. It's why we have been able to weave such complex and prolific societies, now on an interwoven global scale. When we lose connection, communication, and collaboration, we lose the best and most successful parts of being human. Which means, When we connect, communicate, and collaborate, we dramatically increase our success individually, and more widespread. My point being, when you follow your first priority you'll run into things you don't know, or don't have experience or understanding to know that you need to understand it. For an example, if you're designing an animal shelter but you have never interacted with an elderly cat, you might not know that elderly cats won't be able to jump very high with their commonly arthritis-ridden feet+paws. You might not consider the gap in your understanding, because you didn't know it was there or that you needed it. That's where other people who're diving into their first priorities helps - and that's where you'll find what i'm calling the Network of Gap Crossers. We need other people who have a different angle and perspective on what you're solving, in their own depth. We are solving so many problems. We are solving multiple problems at once, in inventive and multitudinous ways (see some of the recent Vlogbrothers videos, such as the climate crisis discussions). We do need to solve more, and increase our level of success. What that needs, in my opinion, is more people in the Network. Collaboration + connection helps us understand what we don't, and have the hope and strength to continue from connecting to others that have been making progress in areas beyond our scope. Let's add to the Network!
You’ve helped guide me through the “giving for me” to giving long term for systemic fixes, even when they don’t make me feel as warm and fuzzy. Thank you for that
i’m currently taking an undergraduate international studies course in global health concepts and intervention. we were delighted to read dr. paul farmer’s work after the haitian earthquake and learn about our professor’s connections with him, and of course deeply saddened to hear of his passing halfway through the semester. my professor often shares quotes from farmer to contextualize problems and encourage frameworks of response. one he shared recently is the idea that, even if a health intervention fails, we should share in the defeat because we can still provide solidarity. in the best case, of course, the intervention works and problems of public health are diminished, if not solved. your recent videos have been an excellent addition and commentary to the course material, and i am sure dr. farmer’s words and actions will live on for years to come. thanks for this.
As an environmental educator, I found my passage through the sad gap more than across. Working with both kids and adults on topics that I know are being dramatically impacted by climate change was and still is hard at times. Discussing sea-level rise, flooding, and extinction are not easy topics to discuss for anyone, and somehow we make it through every time with a forward-thinking attitude. What got me through it was seeing the love, compassion, and enthusiasm people can have for the natural world. It's not going to fix climate change, but it shows that people care, and if people care, people will take care of what is important to them.
Here is what I love about this pair of videos. To my eyes Hank typically presents as an optimist, while John often presents as a pessemist. So we have an optimist ask a pessemist "How do you deal with the feeling of helplessness?" And the pessemist then gives practical advice about holding on to hope.
I have no idea what sad gap is and i didn't really fully understand it based on this video either, but i felt like the video was truly heartwarming and has a value for a lot of people.
I’ve worked in human rights and arts advocacy for most of my short career, but what I’ve learned is that you have to play the long game. people are reactive, but if you build up the bonds with people who could be willing to be proactive, you get stronger. proactive advocacy has helped us achieve things I couldn’t have imagined six years ago. it’s not easy, and often you’ll feel like you’re not doing enough. maybe you won’t stay in the field long enough to reap what you sow. I’ve learned to be okay with it, as long as I helped contribute to building up the systems to make it last longer than it would’ve when I started. anyway, that’s how I feel, as someone who’s (hopefully) moving into a different industry. I always appreciate your perspective, john! thank you for this.
My priority is higher education for girls in rural areas in India and helping them to be role models and change makers to leverage a multiplier effect. This has always been a focus for me but I didn’t realise it was a “priority” per se. After seeing this video I will now double down on it. Thank you John
what a great and beautiful couple of videos, always so great to feel part of this community when I'm reminded what all the fun discussions, laughs, livestreams, and projects are building towards. Grateful to be here and be in the awesome socks club, hope I can donate more to the P4A next year.. And what a time to have a 'favorite' button on this platform
I worked at my local food bank during the pandemic, calling people to make sure their information was correct. It sounds like nothing but it made me realize why “Let’s feed everyone that doesn’t have food” is so difficult. Its logistics and no one ever stays around for those. It’s trying to contact people who don’t always have access to a phone or email and can sometimes be nomadic because of how our society treats the homeless.
I'm really loving this concept of the sad gap, and it's challenged me to consider what I'm really about. Right now, I think I'm going with trees and literacy. Here's to traversing the sad gap, Nerdfighteria!
Hank, John, your videos are always so insightful and a joy to listen to. But this... my goodness. I already feel like the Sad Gap Duology (and your associated DH&J answer, John) will have an enormous impact on my worldview and that of so many nerdfighters here. You saw that need in yourselves and others, and you stayed. Thank you.
Hi Nerdfighteria! I wanted to share with you that yesterday was my first day working for Partners In Health in Mexico. I'm in the process of crossing my sad gap. I have recently graduated from Biomedical engineering and have just been wandering around trying not to fear about my future prospects and overall feeling of being unable to help. Vlogbrothers and this community has been such a great way of finding a more hopeful path
I guess my way of coping with the sad gap is mostly by connecting with individuals and building strong bonds with people. There is something beautiful in helping others even with the small things, especially when you struggle helping yourself. (Of course reading books is nice too)
I recently read a reddit post in which a young person was feeling suicidal for this precise reason and he was looking for reasons not to end his life. One of the commenters suggested he buy a cookbook, and work through it one recipe at a time. And when he finished that cookbook, start a new one. The wisdom of this approach is simple: if there are no good reasons to do things, then just find a reason to do something. A reason to keep going, more often than not, will lead to additional reasons to keep going. And in finding reasons, sometimes, even a good reason may emerge. I've found that my own emotional, spiritual and intellectual growth - and by extension my capacity to help others - has come by tiny incremental progress done one step at a time, without consideration for the big picture, with failure accounted for, and accepting of those things which are outside of my control, and those which are not. I can't change things globally, but I can do small, good things that can sometimes balloon into big, good things. Which is how large scale changes are implemented: a day at a time, with failure, and accepting that you can only do so much at any given time. Change is cumulative like that. All the best.
Thank you for this. I work in a non-profit feeding people directly in my community and it can feel overwhelming when I want so badly to also assist in finding the people that I feed other resources. They are my friends, they are important to me and sometimes i feel powerless to do more. It feels even more overwhelming to think of all the people outside of my city who are suffering, like the people in the Ukraine, fleeing Russian violence while trying to feed their families. But I like the reminder that my work is important and my commitment to providing the food to my community is reflected in others providing housing and social services to the same people, and many many more beyond our city.
I can't go deep into anything, I spread my energy and attention across everything I am interested learning as much as I can until I hit a wall or my attention runs out and I am forced into a different direction. And I never end up accomplishing anything, just burning myself out and becoming more hopeless and depressed. I'm glad you and Hank are actually able to make a difference, my only accomplishment is that I am still alive at 31.
The biggest thing that stuck out to me in this is the concept of just staying. I’ve had a hard time with that in my life, I can admit. I get so scared, and want to turn away until I don’t feel the fear anymore. I’m afraid of being broken or hurt anymore, so I try and run and deflect or remove myself from it, which I hate because the world is pretty beautiful when you take the time to look instead of spending all your time looking for an exit route, you know? It’s easy to run away but not sustainable. Using the running metaphor, maybe I ran away from the original pain, but now my feet hurt. When I was in pain from my treatment, I wanted to run, but had nowhere to go except somewhere pretty dark. I had someone who just stayed, then. It’s hard to stay. You don’t even have to say anything, just stay. Be there.
Yes! I said before I thought part of a solution lay in finding more success stories and ‘Good News’ and now, come to think of it, that comes hand in hand with staying in one area and doing more research. If you’re jumping around from horrifying news story to terrifying social media campaign, doing what you can until your and the world’s attention moves on, you’ll never have a satisfactory ending. Tie up all those loose ends by sticking around (either by your own actions or discovering that someone else has actually done some Good) 💚💚💚
Taking the time to become an expert in anything is 100% worth the effort because it makes you a valuable commodity for change in our world of ever shortening attention spans!
Totally agree with the picking one strategy. I picked wildlife conservation and made that into my career. Although I care about all the other things happening in the world, I don't get involved in them because it would burn me out so much I wouldn't be able to do any good at all. I comfort myself with the knowledge that there are people as passionate about different issues as I am about wildlife conservation, so good is still being done there even if I'm not participating.
This is my 5000th liked video. (I had reasons to be snooping around in my playlists after watching this, and it's just so convenient that it was such a satisfingly base-10 number.)
I think the most important thing to remember may just be that "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice". There are a lot of bad things, and a lot of setbacks, but every time you zoom out and look at the big picture, things are improving massively for humanity.
I think doing my PhD has really helped my hone down what I care about. No one can finish a PhD on EVERYTHING. You have to narrow your scope, otherwise you’ll never research anything. It’s a tough lesson for new researchers to learn, especially you want to solve every problem you’ve ever heard of, but a very necessary lesson!
I can't say that I have crossed and come out of the Sad Gap, which some may believe is possible. It's too big, too wide for one person to overcome and end. I engage in CROSSING it through conscious living and trying to end "world suck" in my own ways, taking care of what is in my own 4 square meters of living space and influence. Being kind, reverent, respectful to others... and myself. Being a helper; asking for help. Engaging in positive word-building. Praying and recognizing I am not in charge. Refraining from gossiping and tale mongering. Being a good friend and neighbor. Not getting into these endless rhetorical (or actual) fights. Staying the happiest depressed person I know. Practicing GRATITUDE. These actions take care of a lot what is in my control. I leave big political and world issues to those better able to wrangle them.
For my career I’ve almost finished my masters in international humanitarian action. My specialty that I’m developing and honing is disaster response. Every time something else big happens for a humanitarian crisis, I remind myself that my role locally in the us is critical to ensure my team of volunteers and myself are ready to respond to disasters and that we’ve worked in our local communities to build resilience. I can’t do everything or be an expert in everything, but I can do what is in my power to change the world 1 person at a time. Maybe once I build out my skill set I can do more, but until then I’ll do what’s in my span of control and focus my attention there.
So I usually try not to share advice in the form of a story because I find it extremely hard to extract commonalities from experiences. I'm 28 now and I've suffered existential crises since I can remember. From being overwhelmed by my reflection not being myself, to trying to imagine another person's field of vision when trying to look at something someone is pointing at, I would literally question whether or not I or anything exists. Around 18-20 I started to use this to my advantage. I found comfort in the uncertainty of existence. The fact that I and a random stranger across the globe can agree that 2+2=4 brought me back to the ground. On a regular basis I use any little thing to remind me that life is real and phenomenal and astonishing. Myself and another person touching the same object, matching a note when listening to music, anything that shows me what everything does, happens. Which means that people who are trying their best are REALLY TRYING THEIR BEST. Sure this is convoluted as hell, but it works like hell too.
When I was a young teen, I started to dive deep into science, politics, and philosophy. What I learned was extremely valuable and has lead me to be a molecular biologist. And I have to say that the green brothers both helped me to an unthinkable degree. But as I learned I felt like I was been toren to shreds as I wanted to do so much and felt so limited. On top of that I suffered from mental health, that felt like I was getting kicked in the teeth. The sad gap is very real. So many of us live in the gap but we don't know it. I don't want to sharpen only one of my knives I want all of them to be sharpened to the same degree. Yet that's not possible. We must pick are battles and pick them wisely. Use the passion or skill and try to intergect it elsewhere. That's the best we can do. But I still think it's good to have semi sharp knives of many kinds
Its a hard, and potentially heartbreaking, necessity to focus on one crisis at a time, at least on an individual level. As long as one remains an informed participant in world events, one will always encounter new problems, and choosing to focus on one problem will necessitate choosing not to focus on another problem. But its still necessary, because our attention is not sufficient to fix any of our systemic problems if we keep jumping from one to another as they become particularly inflamed. We need people who will accept that building a maternal hospital in one country will mean not building something else somewhere else, because if we don't, then nothing ever gets built anywhere.
I think an important part of this story is that you had built a relationship and were then asked to stay. It's those connections that determine our priorities.
right now the sad gap is like the weather for me, coming and going in waves, like most things. I mostly feel this when I think about animal suffering and the animal rights movement and the upsetting reality of how much "gap" there is between what kind of world I want to see vs the current reality of the world. The thing that makes me most hopeful is meeting other people who are sympathetic to how I feel and support each other by making me feel yes, this is important and slow, but still possible. And even yes, my thoughts and feelings are normal
I was just thinking/posting about this exact topic on Facebook and you guys explained it so well! And made me feel less alone, and a bit hopeful, even. Thank you.
My way to bridge the sad gap is to try and notice small steps forward. Like I said in a comment on the last video, one of the causes I focus on is the stigma around mental health. Any time I see someone saying they're taking a break from social media to focus on their mental health, a celebrity openly discussing their struggles, or articles where you can see people did their research and are using correct terminology- I smile a little inside, because it means we're moving forward. Try and notice small changes- because over time, they build up to big ones.
Hi, we just had our national elections in my country and I certainly feel superglued to the sad gap right now. This and Hank's video helped get me unstuck at least a little bit. Thanks.
At first thank you for all the time and effort you make to inspire people all around the world, including me personally I've been learning and thinking on and about new topics with each video you post in youtube.. secondly, excuse my english it's a second language for me, as a fellow learner I think about what you said in my own point of view, me having a sad gap is out of the question to speak about.. of course I am a syrian student who had some difficulties with my learning and that what made some of my long terms sad gaps.. for the things that have the most important effect on the world I don't even have the strength to think about, I see all people in my society are trying to increase their own salaries with different ways.. but my ever concerning problems had been with learning.. classes and ideologies of old fashioned ways of learning made my brain a copy of many young adults in my society.. trying to think like someone who don't have sadness in his life is difficult but yeah I'm considering helping in every way that is possible for someone who might have the same issues.. I guess... I will consider the idea to volunteer in any way to help the children of my country to have a better chance in education.. more or less I'm a simple art student who have simple capabilities. but yeah whenever I think about my students I somehow manage to forget about any sadness in my heart. you have motivated me to become a better educator and a great learner.. out from the heart of a humble student I again say thank you for everything, you have been my favorite learning method by watching crash course and reading the fault in our stars.. p.s: I forget to give you a direct answer to your video.. but I got the chance to break my own silence and that is more important to me than everything.. from syria with love. thanks again and again..
We all can cross our sad gaps- This reminds me of a conversation I had with my partner about the same. There's to much noise and not enough voice when it comes to solving world's problems and the insta-story 24 hour concern for an incident of the world. I asked her what 3 causes matter to you- her response was: Supporting women in stem education, Climate Change and that's it. And she added- I got it! the Next month she joined her local chapter for women in tech society and has been leading it till now for the past 2 year.... She's my hero. Pick the battles you fight, once you do, fight valiantly to use whatever is possibly in your arsenal to make change happen.
I got a third of the way through watching with the Video Speed still stuck on 1.25x from the podcast I was watching/listening to prior before I was like “maybe John isn’t actually this unusually hyper and intense”. I like my Vlogbrothers like I like my life: predictably normal paced with an ending that is in hindsight entirely expected yet hard to see coming in the moment.
Vlogbrothers is one of the few channels I insist on watching at 1x speed (I'm a 1.75x speed gal most of the time). Hank is just too much at that speed (love ya, Hank!) and I just want to absorb and digest every word of John's at the cadence he spoke it.
This video made me unexpectedly emotion. Once again, John has a way of putting things into words that captures the essence so perfectly and in such a poignant way. I feel more hopeful now. And I love #6 in the list of strategies you posted! Thank you for another great video, John!
This was set was one of the most powerful videos I’ve seen in a while. Thank you for continuing to educate, I’ve only been watching since 2011, I know I’m a little late to the party, but your videos have made a huge difference in how I view and interact with the world. Thank you 🥰
I think you hit on something important. Whether its thanks to modern for profit news media or a foreshortened human attention span, or both or something else, we don't really care about the people in these situations. What we care about is making ourselves feel better, so as soon as the media moves on to another crisis we move on, leaving people that still need help in the lurch. We've comodified human suffering in a really forked up way.
Find things that stimulate your capacity for wonder. This may not get you across a specific sad gap but it makes all the gaps seem less like an infinite abyss. A recent one for me - I've started listening to some of the backlog of 99% Invisible, and started to find myself marveling at the complexities of human society I didn't know were there and being awed by the number of things I've never stopped to consider but which are actual triumphs of human achievement.
It feels like the deeper on any one subject I go, the more hopeless it feels. So many of the issues I care about are contingent on having people in power care and they just don't. There's literally nothing I can do
Hi! Thanks for being here with us. Here are some other strategies for crossing the sad gap that stood out to me in comments to Hank's video. (Please leave yours in comments!) -John
1. There is very little evil - Almost no one thinks they are evil, or that their beliefs or policies are malicious. If you had a different life, you'd have different values.
2. Listen to the people who are working on solving the problem and research their past successes. There are many ways in which the world is better than it was a generation ago. Find the people who are helping to drive these successes and pay attention to them. Pay attention as well to the people who are calling out the problems we face in new ways that will help us to tackle them better.
3. Connect with individuals: Building relationships is both a way to cross the sad gap (because you'll find that you're working/thinking/volunteering with people who are also trying to solve the same problems that are important to you) and a way to learn more deeply about the challenges you care about.
4. Believe in the possibility of humanity. Look to the moments when we have shown real solidarity and taken meaningful steps to make the world suck less. Look to the way the people of Damascus responded to the plague, or the ways systems have been built to better serve our shared needs.
5. You can only have one first priority: This is what inspired today's video!
6. Be grateful for the work of others. On the problems you don’t have time to interface with deeply, do not think “this problem will solve itself” think “there are wonderful people who I trust to work on this.”
wow just wow, I have learned so much from this channel it's insane
@@StarlightJosh right?
I said this before and I'll say it again: caring is a finite resource. You can't care about everything and need to trust your fellow humans to jump in as required (an old video by Hank taught me this actually). To continue point 3 - you can only have one first priority AND you can only have a finite set of priorities. The challenge here is figuring out which priorities need your help the most AND which ones you actually have the spoons to help.
Example: i am a disabled person with several disabilities, in grad school - at present, my free time is spent volunteering in efforts that make education more accessible to disabled folks. Is that the most important humanitarian crisis we are facing right now? - no (well how do you even define what is more important?). But does it need to be solved? - yes. Am I passionate enough about it to give it all my remaining spoons? - yes. Eventually, I hope to go beyond my province, and try to help disabled kids in India - but again, at present, my own province is about all I can manage, and i trust that there are people out there helping those kids in the meantime.
To summarize: Pick your battles wisely and delegate the rest.
Thank you for this beautiful video and these additional insights.
I spent a few years prioritising something very important to me and took all of my (limited) wealth, knowledge, passion and abilities to try and address this one very particular problem. The project got off to a good start, I got invited to talk at a local TEDx event, and I was hopeful that I would be able to carry this ambitious project to fruition and then see it grow into whatever it needed to grow.
Unfortunately, I was quite alone in trying to pull this massive project forwards and found myself exhausted within a few years and had to abandon the project because of a multitude of reasons.
I have since found myself deeply wedged in the sad gap.
I learned a lot - for sure - but not all of what I learned was positive. One of the most painful lessons was that most (if not almost all!) people are extremely ego-driven and have little empathy towards our species as a whole and, by extension, little interest in helping us genuinely move forward, aka decrease world suck.
Your videos are always so beautifully positive and forward looking - it would be interesting to sometimes hear of the dead-ends and how one might shed the lingering depression that can come after deep personal failures and the loss of hope.
Number 1 gets twisted.
Yes, if I had a different life I'd have different vales. But it's still unbelievably effed up that there's an open and agressive eugenics effort going on right now with the pandemic, and a lot of other things.
If I benifited from it, yeah, I'd probably be okay with it. Certainly much more okay with it. That wouldn't make it any less effed up.
Which is not to say things can't change. Things will change one way or the other. But yeah. You can't tell me the people agressivly trying to eugenics me actually think it's for the best for anyone but themselves. And eff you if you try.
As a mental health advocate in Colombia, I've been living in the sad gap, overwhelmed by the difficult task of reforming a complex system. Your couple of videos have given me hope. Now I know I need to pick one aspect, and stay. I will do my best to improve my country. Thank you.
As a mental health patient, I thank you on behalf of all the folks like me who need good care. As you say, it's very hard to reform complex systems. But it can also make a long-lasting difference. Thanks for doing that hard work. -John
Buena suerte, Juan Carlos. La mas mejor suerte que es posible. Cambiando sistemas es como comiendo una elefante: un bocado a la vez.
I broke my feet today because I kicked my computer because someone commented that my videos are bad! I hate unjustified criticism. Please wish me a speedy recovery, dear juan
Parce! Ud es un nerdfighter? Con razón sus videos con la pulla son tan buenos! Jajaja
seguiremos pullando por un mejor futuro :D. Saludos
I said this before and I'll say it again: caring is a finite resource. You can't care about everything and need to trust your fellow humans to jump in as required (an old video by Hank taught me this actually). To continue point 3 - you can only have one first priority AND you can only have a finite set of priorities. The challenge here is figuring out which priorities need your help the most AND which ones you actually have the spoons to help.
Example: i am a disabled person with several disabilities, in grad school - at present, my free time is spent volunteering in efforts that make education more accessible to disabled folks. Is that the most important humanitarian crisis we are facing right now? - no (well how do you even define what is more important?). But does it need to be solved? - yes. Am I passionate enough about it to give it all my remaining spoons? - yes. Eventually, I hope to go beyond my province, and try to help disabled kids in India - but again, at present, my own province is about all I can manage, and i trust that there are people out there helping those kids in the meantime.
To summarize: Pick your battles wisely and delegate the rest.
To add to this slightly, John Vervaeke’s series on the Meaning Crisis helped to me understand how absolutely foundational and fundamentally necessary it is that care, or attention, is a finite resource.
I used to think that claims like these were superficial or at least helpful heuristics despite it being untrue or at least uncertain claims (that attention/care is finite). But now I understand that to care about anything itself REQUIRES that you function on at least an econo-logical level, (that you disregard/do not attend to certain resources). And to care experientially REQUIRES that you disregard/do not attend to something else. It is fundamental that to think/interact/consider something experientially, you are NOT considering an infinite amount of something else.
Sorry for the novel, I wanted to try to write a summary of Vervaeke’s ideas in an attempt to not just throw another random recommendation out there on the internet, but his stuff is hard to summarise.
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I think disability accessibility may in fact be one of the great humanitarian crises of our age, for all living people are only one illness or injury away from being considered disabled, whether temporarily or permanently. There is no person on earth who is exempt from potentially joining this protected yet extremely vulnerable class of citizens, who I count myself among. I personally feel that overcoming my afflictions while honoring my limitations is the best way forward, and it’s an approach with sharing! Anything I can do to further your efforts, please let us know, and congratulations on tackling graduate school!!!
Despair is a useless emotion, but it is *seductive*. Thank you for the reminder that energy works best when it's focused and that all is not, as it might seem, actually lost.
Thanks for this comment😶
Remembering Dr Farmer - “With rare exceptions, all of your most important achievements on this planet will come from working with others-or, in a word, partnership.” ❤
Yess
The only way out is through, and the only way through is together.
John's response reminds me of something he quoted in the Anthropocene Reviewed podcast. It's from his student chaplain days. I don't remember exactly who it was, but one of his advisors or mentors told him "don't just do something, stand there." That's really stuck with me. In times of crisis, we can get caught up in the desire to do something. Something that feels productive and will make us feel better, as though we have done our part to "solve" the problem. Short-term solutions in the wake of a disaster, a conflict, or a global health crisis are important and necessary and it is vital that the public contribute in anyway possible. However, as John says, sometimes the most important thing, and the most difficult thing, to do is stand there. Stay. Dig in. Resist the urge to move on to the next crisis and do the hard work of building a stronger social, economic, and/or physical infrastructure, even on a small scale, so that we can be prepared for the next crisis instead of just reacting to it.
Standing there really does allow attention to dig deep and listen and be transformed by what is occurring.
Thank you for this video, John. As a new socially conscious architect in Ethiopia, I've been feeling pretty helpless in the face of the recent Civil War here, the inflation that's making construction so difficult, and the political divisions among close friends and loved ones at large.
I believe a lot of the local problems are solvable -but as you said, they need in-depth involvement & constant attention. So yesterday, I put out a video just 'dreaming out loud' about the things I'd work on here, given the time. And it kind of attracted experts & optimists here. Now I look forward to seeing where those collaborations take me (plus find out where I'll need to go deep).
p.s. 'The Sad Gap' could be a great book title
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Omg John please write The Sad Gap.
subscribe me to “dreaming out loud” 🥺💖
@@Efflorescentey right?!
When you’re out of the sad gap, some of these strategies seem obvious: rely on the help of others and learn from past mistakes/successes. But when you’re in the center of the sad gap, overwhelmed and bogged down by all the world’s problems, these things don’t even come to mind. Trying to focus on one thing at a time can truly help people, not by minimizing who you are helping, but by maximizing your ability to help them.
Well said! I especially like the part about maximizing your ability to help.
i recently read Essentialism. its core message? "Do less, but better."
Another thing that helps, particularly if you're high in empathy and compassion: know that you're more hard-wired to want to protect people and therefore aren't noticing as much when things are going well, you'll have to make more of a conscious effort to do so. Even though there is still a lot of problems to solve, as a society we've made more progress in the last 60 years than in any other time in human history. Equality and poverty are the best that they have ever been, access to education and medicine and food is the highest it's ever been, we better understand and have more resources for mental health now than ever, and people have more opportunity now than they any other time in human history. That's not to say we don't still have a lot to do, of course we do - but if we just focus on the negative we end up feeling like now is the worst time to be alive and I guarantee you that most people in history would beg to differ. Gratitude and appreciation go a long way not just for alleviating the sad gap but also for motivation to keep working towards progress. Cheers and DFTBA
Do you have any sources regarding the statement that poverty is the best it’s ever been? Thanks
@@raspberrytaegi Sure. The UN has a lot of stats - Between 1990 and 2015 global extreme poverty fell by 32% in just 15 years. There's an interesting paper on the topic if you look up history of poverty. In 1800, about 80% of people lived at or below the poverty line, in 1950 it was at 60%, and today it's around 10%. The US average hourly wage in the mid 1800s was about 9 cents, which is about 3 dollars an hour in today's money - less than half minimum wage - that was before labor laws, so ever since labor laws, less and less people have been living in extreme poverty.
And that's not even going back to the middle ages or further when pretty much everyone that wasn't royalty was poor.
But yeah to my original point - things still need improving and we have a lot of folks that still need help and whatnot, but if you look at how far we've come over the last few hundred years - every generation is getting better - so that's encouraging.
Hope it helps!
In the same way that telling someone who is depressed about their personal life, "Get over it other people have it worse in the world." Doesn't help, telling someone who's depressed about the world, "People had it worse before" does nothing to help.
@@awesomesauce1030 I personally do find it reassuring. It's a reminder, that even though things can definitely get worse, the long term trends of society as a whole are positive.
There's obviously no guarantee they will continue to improve, but if the past is anything to go by, we should probably be at least a little more optimistic.
@@awesomesauce1030 yes, telling a depressed person other people have it bad does them no favours. by contrast, sometimes giving a depressed person an opportunity to tangibly help someone else can be really meaningful for the depressed person.
I want to underline John's conclusion about choosing one thing and going deep, because that matches quite well with my experience too. I actually got a job in homeless services, and being immersed in that milieu helped me to realize that this was not an unsolvable problem, that people had been doing the research and trying different things and collecting the data and therefore we, as a community of providers knew what the solution was and how to implement it. This was also where I first met and got to know people experiencing homelessness and listened to what they had to say. As I say this, I realize that my experience directly supports going deep and also items 2-6 in the pinned comment. I don't mean to exclude item 1, but I have different feelings about this. Yes, there is very little evil and I don't want to undermine that point, but there are people who haven't gone deep and think they are doing good but in fact are only soothing their own anxieties. And while they are not consciously malicious, they do advocate for policies that are, in fact quite bad for the people affected and for the progress on reducing the suckiness of the situation. Watch out for them. And also, forgive them for they often know not what they do.
After reading this and a couple of your other reply comments on this video, I want to say that you seem very wise. I suspect every community you get involved with, be it homeless services or nerdfighteria, greatly benefits from having you in it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences.
@@Fimbleshanks Thank you, that's very kind of you to say. I often feel the same way about John and Hank. I should say, though, I have to put a lot of conscious effort into forgiving people who are advocating bad policy and I don't succeed as often as I should.
@@rmdodsonbills And that awareness is valuable. So much respect and thanks to you, as someone who has benefited from individuals working to solve homelessness crises.
@@lockedwhisper5433 Well, then, you're welcome :)
I said this in the comments of Hanks video too but I’ll say it again here that this community is a big way for me personally to overcome the sad gap
Whenever voices are getting too loud and saying that things are hopeless nerdfightaria reminds me again and again that no they’re not and there’s things that we can do, and I love it for that (and many other reasons) 🖤
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Hey John, I've been feeling really hopeless lately, both existentially and personally, so I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to your coming to my school on Wednesday, and I hope you're not too nervous to speak because we all love you so much and are so excited to see you :)
So I used to teach a university engineering class that focused on creating solutions. One of the biggest issues was that students would try and solve problems they saw without talking to the people affected or connected to the problem. I think that's a similar issue to the ones you brought up; I also think it's human nature and arrogant and can also be a reflection of our internal -isms (racism, ablism etc.) My students would get upset at me for telling them no ideas until after area research, but they would still try. These ideas never worked as well as the post area research ones. One clear example from a neighbouring campus class was a storage shed for animals in a bushfire; they proposed filling a fireproof shed with animals of all types and using sleeping gas. The students clearly saw a problem and cared, but with no background or research, a non-viable and clearly faulty solution was thought of. This is like the Ebola example John gave where the answer to a need for health care workers on the surface is more workers during the crisis, but looking into the issue, this would do more harm than good. A company example is Autism Speaks (a different topic) TL:DR, solutions to a problem should never be put in place without researching the area first, and you can't do that for all, so focus on where you (personally) can reduce the most worldsuck
Yep, I've seen that out in the real world, too. Even when you see a problem, sometimes it isn't as big an issue to those involved as it might seem or that its just an effect of a bigger issue and is better served by finding a solution to the bigger issue. For example, there's a lot of focus on homeless encampments in many cities and one thing that catches attention is campfires going out of control. So someone in the Fire Department hierarchy suggested that they should replace the tents and tarps people were using for fireproof or at least more durable enclosures for them to sleep in. Well, if you take that suggestion to its logical conclusion, you call it a home and they don't need a campfire at all.
Engineering students (and often engineers in general) not connecting with people and not understanding that we produce technology/ solutions etc. for people and society is one of my biggest pet peeves (I’m and engineering educator doing my PhD in the area). It sounds like you saw students solve some really interesting problems in that class!
@@Nao_Craft very true I saw them come up with great solutions too I taught in country Australia so a lot of country road safety and farming. Good luck with your PhD.
@@Nao_Craft What an astute observation. I once had a director in public services who would pride herself on having ‘an engineer’s mind’ and would favor people she felt had the same “gift”. Although I respected her work I fundamentally disliked this trait in her (without have pinpointed what specifically irritated me). Her solutions often did push us forward but she was not known for kindness or inclusion. I felt so much cringe anytime she indicated she saw this “engineer brain” trait in me.
I am a logical, organized, process-minded problem solver by nature and sometimes the ‘best’ way to solve a problem
does steamroll over the humans impacted by the problem.
Being able to solve problems or create efficiency or improve productivity- sure- it’s valued. But…being able to do those things with respect for and inclusion of the human element is an art.
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Great answer to a tough question. Many thanks to you both for knowing what we all need to hear right now!
I am so glad you decided to stay and bring a lot of us with you! It is definitely something that helps bridge that sad gap for me.
My other tool is local action. Trying to be more active in my community even if it's just a litter picking group. Those bonds are what hold us together and help us see the world outside of the internet.
I’ve been working in Haiti for over twenty years and living here with my family for the past six. The longer I stay the more I understand how insanely complex the issues are. The more I learn, the more questions I have. But as to your premise - the choice to stay, and walk this road here with our Haitian friends has been the best one. I’ve found my solidarity and supoort has provided more help than any of my western ideas could have. As for me, I think being painfully aware is better than blissfully unaware - as painful as it is.
John,
I’m a human rights manager for a UK supermarket, I find my brain constantly wanting to solve all the worlds problems such a challenge. This really helped me remember that prioritising and focusing on sustainable support is the right approach, and I have shared it with my colleagues so we don’t get disillusioned!
Long time watcher, first time commenter x
I don't know where exactly my priorities lie, yet. I personally always feel the urge to try to change everything at once. I want to fight against climate change, queerphobia, sexism, racism and social inequality all at once, even though I know that's not possible. I'm hoping that me being politically active and now studying social sciences is gonna help me develop those interests further and help me to find my priorities. And I think for now, trying to find your own way in this often confusing labyrinth that we call our lives should be enough. 💫
There is certainly a time for making your priority "figuring out what my priorities are." And it's also the case that you can switch priorities from time to time. Indeed, if my friends with ADHD are any indication, having a few priorities that you can cycle through might be a valid strategy. But definitely don't try to do everything at once. Also, there may be something you can do that impacts more than one of those areas, such that focusing on that one thing can have wide effects. There is definitely overlap among social inequality, queerphobia, sexism, and racism.
@@rmdodsonbills It's quite interesting to read this comment while I'm in the proccess of figuring out if I might have Adhd xd And it definitely happens to me that I sometimes suddenly develop a strong interest in a certain topic. And yes, there definitely is an overlap between all those issues as nothing can exist completely isolated from other things in our society. I personally feel like by being politically active and by choosing the field of study I did I might be able to do things related to multiple of those issues, so who knows where that journey'll eventually take me
I'm the same way. I look around and see so many problems, it's hard to pick just one.
I remember hearing someone saying it's like a chorus: everybody doesn't sing exactly the same thing, there are different parts, sometimes someone will sing solo.
@@Mine-jm9sq Looking back on my own journey, it's been quite a ride! Good luck to you!
@@katendress6142 I like that analogy! The parts are different but they complement and support each other, making a whole greater than the sum of its parts.
This advice is also good for sound mental health. You have to learn that you can't do everything and take care of everybody. Pick one or two things and really commit to them! Thanks for another excellent video.
When I want to learn, I watch Hank's videos. When I need help, I watch John's video's, thank you both.
I think it's also important to acknowledge that, sometimes, for a brief period, it is *okay* to sit in the sad gap. I'm a reproductive justice activist and worker and I have been my entire adult life, and I'm watching in horror and rage as the legal framework that makes me able to do what I do best, that makes me able to answer my life's calling, is being chipped away with abandon. You're absolutely right, John - we need to "look for the helpers," we need to learn from those who brainstorm and innovate about these issues for a living, we need to be creative thinkers, we need to be collaborative, and we absolutely, absolutely *must* center the most impacted in our work. However, I think it's also important for those of us who've dedicated our lives to this kind of thing to take a beat, be still, feel the grief that's barely restrained by rage and fear and disgust, and honor those feelings.
The crucial part, though, is that we can't stay there. We must not bury our grief in complacency. We have to act, in ways big and small.
Regarding how to find your 'cause': at the start of 2019, after finally getting permanent work, I committed to donating a small amount of money to 52 different charities - one per week. This is likely a terrible strategy long-term, because so much money is lost in transaction fees at the level I could give at, but I wanted to learn and needed a target. I planned each month to have one charity local to me or somewhere I'd previously lived, one about a cause I already cared about and often had personal experience with (LGBTQ issues for example), one for a cause I knew nothing about and one solving a massive global challenge. I read books, I googled lists of rare diseases, I examined the criteria for 'effective' charities, flawed as this may be. It was, at times, difficult to see the level of need but I also saw that there were so many people helping and so much change being made in so many areas. At the end of the year, I chose one charity from each of the categories and now give a more substantial amount to each, though still trivial in the scheme of things. I really found by starting big and going small that I found some hope and perspective and I'd recommend it to anyone who feels as lost as I was at the scale of the problems we face.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend this for the long-term, but as a means of finding a good fit, I like it a lot. And don't discount your efforts as "trivial in the scheme of things." First of all, you can only do what you can do and doing something is better than doing nothing. Second, even trivial contributions add up. My college choir was touring in Switzerland and one of our performance venues was a Catholic Church in a small mountain town. I noticed that at the end of each row of pews there was a small indentation in the floor. Sure enough, I genuflected (sort of a half-kneeling curtsy Catholics do before sitting down at services) and my knee landed directly in the divot. I don't know how many centuries that church had been there, but it was long enough for thousands of knees to wear away a shallow hole in the floor despite the fact that if you examined any individual knee after any given genuflection you'd be hard pressed to identify even the smallest particle of floor stone.
Having priorities is so important. Giving $5 to everyone who asks does very little good and will bleed your dry. Giving $50 or $500 or $5000 or $5,000,000 to the causes that matter most to you is so much more effective. The same principle is true about our worry and energy. We cannot fix everything and worrying about everything will once again bleed us dry, but by focusing our energy we can do real good in that one space.
First of all, this has been very helpful for me. I’ve been spinning around in despair thinking I am useless in a world that values how useful you can be. I know my thoughts are faulty but I struggle figuring out what to do. So thank you for this.
What helps me traverse the sad gap is knowing that there are so many good people trying to make the world a better place, and that I can join in, too. I learned that it’s not a matter of skill or competition (1. this isn’t about us or how great we can be at helping 2. It’s always the collective effort that creates change, it is hardly the work of one person), it’s about finding somewhere the world needs us to be and make the best we can, following through to the end.
I may have basically paraphrased what’s already been said, but I’m really thankful for the community and inspiration that vlogbrothers has built all these years. What I’ve always admired about vlogbrothers is not that John’s an author or that Hank’s a musician or that they built Crash Course or not even that they’re brothers (but all those are amazing, too!); what I admire most is that these are two people who consistently try to decrease world suck, and proving that it can be done, too.
When I got into college, I fell into my own Sad Gap because I wasn't in an environment I wanted to be in and all my friends were loving college and having a great time. I moped for a while, but eventually, I just started DOING things: learning to cook, focusing on my grade enough to transfer out of my college, learning to solve a Rubik's cube, and practicing driving. I think that we shouldn't control things we can control, but I also think that we should do something about the things in our life that we CAN control.
Your videos on this topic feel like they've given me permission to specialize and focus my attention. I've been accepted to law school and I want to be a union lawyer and advocate, and it helps my omnidirectional dread to tunnel vision on something that I'm making distinct progress on.
Thank you both for giving language to this!
I love that. It was needed right now. I saw a tweet today that said, "There needs to be a kindness manifesto" and I've been thinking about that all day.
Thank you both, John and Hank. I work for a one of the "too big to fail" financial institutions and my focus since I started was to increase POCs representation at mid to senior levels for several reasons but mainly to increase generational wealth for our POC communities. This challenge is complex and sometimes it feels hopeless but this video helps more than you know. It takes time, patience and compassion to drive systemic change.
Truly my favourite place on the internet. Thank you for starting this conversation. I have shed a little cathartic tear watching yours and Hanks video this morning.
I’m a social work student in Canada and we had a guest speaker in one of my classes who said “change happens at the speed of relationships” which I find to be a comforting thought to consider while in the sad gap.
The person I’m quoting is in upper management in our child welfare system. And they could very well succumb to the sad gap when we think about the over representation of indigenous children in care, especially against the backdrop of the ways social workers have treated indigenous children and families in the past (the sixties scoop, the millennium scoop). This speaker admitted to feeling stuck in the sad gap at times and gave us the advice that it can be a useful place to visit, but not to linger. Go out into the world and focus on your relationships with other people, because relationships and rapport are prerequisites for change
I definitely find that picking a center of focus no matter how small it may seem can give purpose and fulfillment that just worrying about everything never does
Yes to everything that John said! And I want to add: in doing this important work, our capacity to listen and center to the most marginalized voices and value their ways of knowing is crucial!
Yes to going deep. I've been in the work of supporting social movements working toward food sovereignty for several years now and only learn more every day about the possibilities and how folks around the world stay grounded because of community and connection that reminds us that change is possible. Appreciate this conversation y'all!
I find myself getting frequently overwhelmed by not only national and global crises but also personal crises - my own AND those of people I love. It's hard to prioritize any of them when they all feel so undeniably urgent - leaving me stuck in the gap. Its something to work on, for sure.
This is EXCELLENT! I worked in non profit for a couple years with an organization providing eye health care to India and countries in Africa, and I learned SO MUCH. John, what you've said here is the part about charity most folks don't realize: the money needs to be spent to create lasting and sustainable results, and that means developing systems from the ground up, setting up a strong foundation and building on it. In the case of the charity organization I was with, the funds went to getting these programs off the ground and then donor dollars weren't needed to sustain them after the initial set up, because the rest of the operation was subsidized by the money made from patients who could afford to pay for eye care. Yes! We have such a capacity to make lasting, positive change, and that knowledge is something that has kept me hopeful and optimistic throughout the pandemic and all the bumpy turns the world has taken.
Thank you for this!!!
You two and this whole community never fail to prompt me to think deeply about a cause, both putting me into the sad gap sometimes because of dealing with big issues but then immediately providing ways to help gross that gap and start doing things. I think I will remember the sad gap as a term forever now and find this as a way to help cross that gap.
Absolutely profound, John. Pointing out that emergency response does nothing to fix this issues of infrastructure and other human constructed concepts, tangible or social, is a critical point to get our heads around. This matters in LDCs and it matters in MDCs as well. This is where the conversation in nonprofits, for profits, and governmental agencies should exist and I believe education matters. Thank you for all the education, John and Hank!
I'm imagining all the effort, thought, creativity, money, and other resources spent in the world on solving problems being spent in ways that make a deeper, more sustainable difference through the type of thinking that John is talking about. What would happen if we started building a framework of understanding, a theory, if you will. A theory for educating those who want to build a better future to not spend resources in ways that cause further harm, in ways that take into account what work can be done in the future to build upon the work already done in a meaningful and lasting way. Continually destroying progress and reinventing the wheel could become a thing of the past, the avoidance of which could be a part of the process of problem-solving, implementation, monitoring, and evaluation. I'm inspired!
I'm an immigration lawyer in Australia dealing with a system that is often fundamentally flawed both morally and legally, and watching this video really helped me to feel positive about the choice I've made to stand my ground and become an advocate for the most vulnerable people in this area - from refugees and asylum seekers, to stateless people and long-term residents of Australia whose families are destroyed when their visas are cancelled. Thank you, and don't forget to be awesome 💚
I’m so far in the sad gap that even beginning to think about the harm I must be causing by focusing too much on short term solutions and constantly shifting my attention makes me feel even more depressed and hopeless, pushing me further into it. But recognizing the problem can be the start of addressing it, and at the end of the day I’m just a human trying my best. So thank you, these videos have really helped
I’m so grateful to be a part of this community. Since 2008, my participation has been a 3/10 most of the time, but I still feel like I matter. Thank you to everyone who makes Nerdfighteria possible and special thanks to those working for and with PIH to make the world a healthier place.
One of the reasons I find going deep so valuable, is that you connect with other going-deep people, with varying priorities, that fill in the gaps in your understanding.
I don't remember who said it first, or where I studied this first, but the claim that Connection is one of the main reasons humanity has been successful in survival and evolution has always stuck with me. It's why we have been able to weave such complex and prolific societies, now on an interwoven global scale. When we lose connection, communication, and collaboration, we lose the best and most successful parts of being human. Which means, When we connect, communicate, and collaborate, we dramatically increase our success individually, and more widespread.
My point being, when you follow your first priority you'll run into things you don't know, or don't have experience or understanding to know that you need to understand it. For an example, if you're designing an animal shelter but you have never interacted with an elderly cat, you might not know that elderly cats won't be able to jump very high with their commonly arthritis-ridden feet+paws. You might not consider the gap in your understanding, because you didn't know it was there or that you needed it.
That's where other people who're diving into their first priorities helps - and that's where you'll find what i'm calling the Network of Gap Crossers. We need other people who have a different angle and perspective on what you're solving, in their own depth.
We are solving so many problems. We are solving multiple problems at once, in inventive and multitudinous ways (see some of the recent Vlogbrothers videos, such as the climate crisis discussions). We do need to solve more, and increase our level of success. What that needs, in my opinion, is more people in the Network. Collaboration + connection helps us understand what we don't, and have the hope and strength to continue from connecting to others that have been making progress in areas beyond our scope.
Let's add to the Network!
You’ve helped guide me through the “giving for me” to giving long term for systemic fixes, even when they don’t make me feel as warm and fuzzy. Thank you for that
i’m currently taking an undergraduate international studies course in global health concepts and intervention. we were delighted to read dr. paul farmer’s work after the haitian earthquake and learn about our professor’s connections with him, and of course deeply saddened to hear of his passing halfway through the semester. my professor often shares quotes from farmer to contextualize problems and encourage frameworks of response. one he shared recently is the idea that, even if a health intervention fails, we should share in the defeat because we can still provide solidarity. in the best case, of course, the intervention works and problems of public health are diminished, if not solved. your recent videos have been an excellent addition and commentary to the course material, and i am sure dr. farmer’s words and actions will live on for years to come. thanks for this.
As an environmental educator, I found my passage through the sad gap more than across. Working with both kids and adults on topics that I know are being dramatically impacted by climate change was and still is hard at times. Discussing sea-level rise, flooding, and extinction are not easy topics to discuss for anyone, and somehow we make it through every time with a forward-thinking attitude. What got me through it was seeing the love, compassion, and enthusiasm people can have for the natural world. It's not going to fix climate change, but it shows that people care, and if people care, people will take care of what is important to them.
Here is what I love about this pair of videos. To my eyes Hank typically presents as an optimist, while John often presents as a pessemist. So we have an optimist ask a pessemist "How do you deal with the feeling of helplessness?" And the pessemist then gives practical advice about holding on to hope.
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I have no idea what sad gap is and i didn't really fully understand it based on this video either, but i felt like the video was truly heartwarming and has a value for a lot of people.
I’ve worked in human rights and arts advocacy for most of my short career, but what I’ve learned is that you have to play the long game. people are reactive, but if you build up the bonds with people who could be willing to be proactive, you get stronger. proactive advocacy has helped us achieve things I couldn’t have imagined six years ago. it’s not easy, and often you’ll feel like you’re not doing enough. maybe you won’t stay in the field long enough to reap what you sow. I’ve learned to be okay with it, as long as I helped contribute to building up the systems to make it last longer than it would’ve when I started. anyway, that’s how I feel, as someone who’s (hopefully) moving into a different industry. I always appreciate your perspective, john! thank you for this.
These two sad gap vlogs feel like the most important RUclips videos of our time.
My priority is higher education for girls in rural areas in India and helping them to be role models and change makers to leverage a multiplier effect. This has always been a focus for me but I didn’t realise it was a “priority” per se. After seeing this video I will now double down on it. Thank you John
what a great and beautiful couple of videos, always so great to feel part of this community when I'm reminded what all the fun discussions, laughs, livestreams, and projects are building towards. Grateful to be here and be in the awesome socks club, hope I can donate more to the P4A next year.. And what a time to have a 'favorite' button on this platform
I worked at my local food bank during the pandemic, calling people to make sure their information was correct. It sounds like nothing but it made me realize why “Let’s feed everyone that doesn’t have food” is so difficult. Its logistics and no one ever stays around for those. It’s trying to contact people who don’t always have access to a phone or email and can sometimes be nomadic because of how our society treats the homeless.
I'm really loving this concept of the sad gap, and it's challenged me to consider what I'm really about. Right now, I think I'm going with trees and literacy. Here's to traversing the sad gap, Nerdfighteria!
It's nice to finally have something to call this feeling I've been having but now I know how to fight against it. Be thankful for the work of others!
Hank, John, your videos are always so insightful and a joy to listen to. But this... my goodness.
I already feel like the Sad Gap Duology (and your associated DH&J answer, John) will have an enormous impact on my worldview and that of so many nerdfighters here. You saw that need in yourselves and others, and you stayed. Thank you.
Hi Nerdfighteria! I wanted to share with you that yesterday was my first day working for Partners In Health in Mexico. I'm in the process of crossing my sad gap. I have recently graduated from Biomedical engineering and have just been wandering around trying not to fear about my future prospects and overall feeling of being unable to help. Vlogbrothers and this community has been such a great way of finding a more hopeful path
This was calming to hear. Do few things, but do them well.
Thanks for always making me think deeper and be better.
I guess my way of coping with the sad gap is mostly by connecting with individuals and building strong bonds with people. There is something beautiful in helping others even with the small things, especially when you struggle helping yourself.
(Of course reading books is nice too)
I recently read a reddit post in which a young person was feeling suicidal for this precise reason and he was looking for reasons not to end his life. One of the commenters suggested he buy a cookbook, and work through it one recipe at a time. And when he finished that cookbook, start a new one.
The wisdom of this approach is simple: if there are no good reasons to do things, then just find a reason to do something. A reason to keep going, more often than not, will lead to additional reasons to keep going. And in finding reasons, sometimes, even a good reason may emerge.
I've found that my own emotional, spiritual and intellectual growth - and by extension my capacity to help others - has come by tiny incremental progress done one step at a time, without consideration for the big picture, with failure accounted for, and accepting of those things which are outside of my control, and those which are not. I can't change things globally, but I can do small, good things that can sometimes balloon into big, good things.
Which is how large scale changes are implemented: a day at a time, with failure, and accepting that you can only do so much at any given time. Change is cumulative like that.
All the best.
Thank you for this. I work in a non-profit feeding people directly in my community and it can feel overwhelming when I want so badly to also assist in finding the people that I feed other resources. They are my friends, they are important to me and sometimes i feel powerless to do more. It feels even more overwhelming to think of all the people outside of my city who are suffering, like the people in the Ukraine, fleeing Russian violence while trying to feed their families. But I like the reminder that my work is important and my commitment to providing the food to my community is reflected in others providing housing and social services to the same people, and many many more beyond our city.
I can't go deep into anything, I spread my energy and attention across everything I am interested learning as much as I can until I hit a wall or my attention runs out and I am forced into a different direction. And I never end up accomplishing anything, just burning myself out and becoming more hopeless and depressed. I'm glad you and Hank are actually able to make a difference, my only accomplishment is that I am still alive at 31.
Your life is valuable, and preserving it is worthwhile work
@@yaelmorin9017 Thank you. Today is not my day for hope but I appreciate your kind words and the sentiment behind them.
The biggest thing that stuck out to me in this is the concept of just staying.
I’ve had a hard time with that in my life, I can admit. I get so scared, and want to turn away until I don’t feel the fear anymore. I’m afraid of being broken or hurt anymore, so I try and run and deflect or remove myself from it, which I hate because the world is pretty beautiful when you take the time to look instead of spending all your time looking for an exit route, you know? It’s easy to run away but not sustainable. Using the running metaphor, maybe I ran away from the original pain, but now my feet hurt. When I was in pain from my treatment, I wanted to run, but had nowhere to go except somewhere pretty dark. I had someone who just stayed, then. It’s hard to stay. You don’t even have to say anything, just stay. Be there.
Very inspiring. Thank you.
This is why community is so important, 1 person cannot yell as loud as 100 at once speak.
“To save one human being is to save the entire world.”
But this just isn't true. It's just a platitude.
Yes! I said before I thought part of a solution lay in finding more success stories and ‘Good News’ and now, come to think of it, that comes hand in hand with staying in one area and doing more research. If you’re jumping around from horrifying news story to terrifying social media campaign, doing what you can until your and the world’s attention moves on, you’ll never have a satisfactory ending. Tie up all those loose ends by sticking around (either by your own actions or discovering that someone else has actually done some Good) 💚💚💚
Taking the time to become an expert in anything is 100% worth the effort because it makes you a valuable commodity for change in our world of ever shortening attention spans!
Totally agree with the picking one strategy. I picked wildlife conservation and made that into my career. Although I care about all the other things happening in the world, I don't get involved in them because it would burn me out so much I wouldn't be able to do any good at all. I comfort myself with the knowledge that there are people as passionate about different issues as I am about wildlife conservation, so good is still being done there even if I'm not participating.
This is my 5000th liked video.
(I had reasons to be snooping around in my playlists after watching this, and it's just so convenient that it was such a satisfingly base-10 number.)
I can not put into words how much i needed this right now
I think the most important thing to remember may just be that "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice". There are a lot of bad things, and a lot of setbacks, but every time you zoom out and look at the big picture, things are improving massively for humanity.
Thank you, John, for your very reflexive approach to providing help to others.
I think doing my PhD has really helped my hone down what I care about. No one can finish a PhD on EVERYTHING. You have to narrow your scope, otherwise you’ll never research anything. It’s a tough lesson for new researchers to learn, especially you want to solve every problem you’ve ever heard of, but a very necessary lesson!
"You merely adopted the sad gap. I was born in it, molded by it" - Brazilians
I can't say that I have crossed and come out of the Sad Gap, which some may believe is possible. It's too big, too wide for one person to overcome and end. I engage in CROSSING it through conscious living and trying to end "world suck" in my own ways, taking care of what is in my own 4 square meters of living space and influence.
Being kind, reverent, respectful to others... and myself.
Being a helper; asking for help.
Engaging in positive word-building.
Praying and recognizing I am not in charge.
Refraining from gossiping and tale mongering.
Being a good friend and neighbor.
Not getting into these endless rhetorical (or actual) fights.
Staying the happiest depressed person I know.
Practicing GRATITUDE.
These actions take care of a lot what is in my control. I leave big political and world issues to those better able to wrangle them.
Im so grateful for you two brothers. Poetic , funny, honorable, intelligent, humane, engaged, even in the sad times. Kia kaha!
For my career I’ve almost finished my masters in international humanitarian action. My specialty that I’m developing and honing is disaster response. Every time something else big happens for a humanitarian crisis, I remind myself that my role locally in the us is critical to ensure my team of volunteers and myself are ready to respond to disasters and that we’ve worked in our local communities to build resilience. I can’t do everything or be an expert in everything, but I can do what is in my power to change the world 1 person at a time. Maybe once I build out my skill set I can do more, but until then I’ll do what’s in my span of control and focus my attention there.
So much hope and knowledge in four minutes. I love vlogbrothers so much.
So I usually try not to share advice in the form of a story because I find it extremely hard to extract commonalities from experiences. I'm 28 now and I've suffered existential crises since I can remember. From being overwhelmed by my reflection not being myself, to trying to imagine another person's field of vision when trying to look at something someone is pointing at, I would literally question whether or not I or anything exists. Around 18-20 I started to use this to my advantage. I found comfort in the uncertainty of existence. The fact that I and a random stranger across the globe can agree that 2+2=4 brought me back to the ground. On a regular basis I use any little thing to remind me that life is real and phenomenal and astonishing. Myself and another person touching the same object, matching a note when listening to music, anything that shows me what everything does, happens. Which means that people who are trying their best are REALLY TRYING THEIR BEST.
Sure this is convoluted as hell, but it works like hell too.
When I was a young teen, I started to dive deep into science, politics, and philosophy. What I learned was extremely valuable and has lead me to be a molecular biologist. And I have to say that the green brothers both helped me to an unthinkable degree.
But as I learned I felt like I was been toren to shreds as I wanted to do so much and felt so limited. On top of that I suffered from mental health, that felt like I was getting kicked in the teeth.
The sad gap is very real. So many of us live in the gap but we don't know it. I don't want to sharpen only one of my knives I want all of them to be sharpened to the same degree. Yet that's not possible. We must pick are battles and pick them wisely. Use the passion or skill and try to intergect it elsewhere.
That's the best we can do. But I still think it's good to have semi sharp knives of many kinds
Its a hard, and potentially heartbreaking, necessity to focus on one crisis at a time, at least on an individual level. As long as one remains an informed participant in world events, one will always encounter new problems, and choosing to focus on one problem will necessitate choosing not to focus on another problem. But its still necessary, because our attention is not sufficient to fix any of our systemic problems if we keep jumping from one to another as they become particularly inflamed. We need people who will accept that building a maternal hospital in one country will mean not building something else somewhere else, because if we don't, then nothing ever gets built anywhere.
I think an important part of this story is that you had built a relationship and were then asked to stay. It's those connections that determine our priorities.
Thanks for sharing this with us, John. Truly meant a lot to me hearing you talking about how to overcome the sad gaps.
right now the sad gap is like the weather for me, coming and going in waves, like most things. I mostly feel this when I think about animal suffering and the animal rights movement and the upsetting reality of how much "gap" there is between what kind of world I want to see vs the current reality of the world. The thing that makes me most hopeful is meeting other people who are sympathetic to how I feel and support each other by making me feel yes, this is important and slow, but still possible. And even yes, my thoughts and feelings are normal
Great pair of videos. Now I just have to figure out what to go deep in!
I was just thinking/posting about this exact topic on Facebook and you guys explained it so well! And made me feel less alone, and a bit hopeful, even. Thank you.
And thanks for always going "deep" within this community. You've been a service to me for over a decade. All the love John+Hank!
My way to bridge the sad gap is to try and notice small steps forward.
Like I said in a comment on the last video, one of the causes I focus on is the stigma around mental health. Any time I see someone saying they're taking a break from social media to focus on their mental health, a celebrity openly discussing their struggles, or articles where you can see people did their research and are using correct terminology- I smile a little inside, because it means we're moving forward.
Try and notice small changes- because over time, they build up to big ones.
Hi, we just had our national elections in my country and I certainly feel superglued to the sad gap right now. This and Hank's video helped get me unstuck at least a little bit. Thanks.
At first thank you for all the time and effort you make to inspire people all around the world, including me personally I've been learning and thinking on and about new topics with each video you post in youtube..
secondly, excuse my english it's a second language for me, as a fellow learner I think about what you said in my own point of view, me having a sad gap is out of the question to speak about.. of course I am a syrian student who had some difficulties with my learning and that what made some of my long terms sad gaps.. for the things that have the most important effect on the world I don't even have the strength to think about, I see all people in my society are trying to increase their own salaries with different ways.. but my ever concerning problems had been with learning.. classes and ideologies of old fashioned ways of learning made my brain a copy of many young adults in my society.. trying to think like someone who don't have sadness in his life is difficult but yeah I'm considering helping in every way that is possible for someone who might have the same issues..
I guess...
I will consider the idea to volunteer in any way to help the children of my country to have a better chance in education.. more or less I'm a simple art student who have simple capabilities. but yeah whenever I think about my students I somehow manage to forget about any sadness in my heart.
you have motivated me to become a better educator and a great learner..
out from the heart of a humble student I again say thank you for everything, you have been my favorite learning method by watching crash course and reading the fault in our stars..
p.s: I forget to give you a direct answer to your video.. but I got the chance to break my own silence and that is more important to me than everything.. from syria with love. thanks again and again..
Thanks, this is a comfort and also dials in on how to think about the solution - the going deep on a problem.
I want to say that if you yourself are struggling and desperate, your priority can be yourself. That’s allowed, and don’t feel guilty over that.
We all can cross our sad gaps- This reminds me of a conversation I had with my partner about the same. There's to much noise and not enough voice when it comes to solving world's problems and the insta-story 24 hour concern for an incident of the world. I asked her what 3 causes matter to you- her response was: Supporting women in stem education, Climate Change and that's it. And she added- I got it! the Next month she joined her local chapter for women in tech society and has been leading it till now for the past 2 year.... She's my hero. Pick the battles you fight, once you do, fight valiantly to use whatever is possibly in your arsenal to make change happen.
But doing that doesn't make any of the actual problems that they were worrying about go away. That's the depressing part.
@@awesomesauce1030 I understand that but it eleviates the feeling of inaction in the face of the sadness.
I got a third of the way through watching with the Video Speed still stuck on 1.25x from the podcast I was watching/listening to prior before I was like “maybe John isn’t actually this unusually hyper and intense”.
I like my Vlogbrothers like I like my life: predictably normal paced with an ending that is in hindsight entirely expected yet hard to see coming in the moment.
Vlogbrothers is one of the few channels I insist on watching at 1x speed (I'm a 1.75x speed gal most of the time). Hank is just too much at that speed (love ya, Hank!) and I just want to absorb and digest every word of John's at the cadence he spoke it.
This video is endlessly important. Thank you.
Thanks to your promotion I am now an ongoing supporter of Partners in Health.
This video made me unexpectedly emotion. Once again, John has a way of putting things into words that captures the essence so perfectly and in such a poignant way. I feel more hopeful now. And I love #6 in the list of strategies you posted! Thank you for another great video, John!
This was set was one of the most powerful videos I’ve seen in a while. Thank you for continuing to educate, I’ve only been watching since 2011, I know I’m a little late to the party, but your videos have made a huge difference in how I view and interact with the world. Thank you 🥰
I think you hit on something important. Whether its thanks to modern for profit news media or a foreshortened human attention span, or both or something else, we don't really care about the people in these situations. What we care about is making ourselves feel better, so as soon as the media moves on to another crisis we move on, leaving people that still need help in the lurch. We've comodified human suffering in a really forked up way.
Find things that stimulate your capacity for wonder. This may not get you across a specific sad gap but it makes all the gaps seem less like an infinite abyss. A recent one for me - I've started listening to some of the backlog of 99% Invisible, and started to find myself marveling at the complexities of human society I didn't know were there and being awed by the number of things I've never stopped to consider but which are actual triumphs of human achievement.
It feels like the deeper on any one subject I go, the more hopeless it feels. So many of the issues I care about are contingent on having people in power care and they just don't. There's literally nothing I can do