My dad told me that monsters don't live in my bedroom but they do live in mommy & daddy's bedroom & their favorite food is little boys that don't knock.
@@andysnedden2253 in the medical field it's currently shown that popping your joints doesn't cause arthritis. Out of years of research and experiments, there's no correlation between arthritis and popping your joints
I cracked my knuckles, wrists and ankles, and I got arthritis. The problem is that I have arthritis in all of my joints and I don't remember cracking my shoulders or my knees.
When I was about 35 weeks pregnant a man walked up to the register at the store I worked in and said, "Somebody's been eating watermelons. " under his breath. I 😐and said I heard that. No I didn't eat watermelon.....its all the chewing gum I swallowed. He bout lost it. Lol
Lol my former dance teacher once told is that it you swallowed your gum, you would get appendicitis. That never happened but don't swallow nail clippings.
Why can't they just be honest say, it's not safe because it obstructs your vision, which could cause an accident and kill everybody. Same thing with gum and watermelon seeds. Don't swallow them, you might choke. No need to make up stories.
I had perfect attendance in High School and the guidance counselor assured me that it would help me in the future. I'm 67 now and not once in my life has anyone ever asked. Also, except for crosswords and trivia contests, I've never needed to know the State Capitols.
I've actually meant that guy. It's kinda uncomfortable talking to him cause you don't really know if he's talking to you, or someone behind you, or that wall over there...
For me, it was a Spotty Dotty pen that could only be purchased at Sanrio Surprises. The girl who stole it claimed she got it at the grocery store, but the only store in town that sold groceries did not carry anything at all that was Sanrio. Plus, it was part of a set, which she did not have. The jokes on her though. 3 years later her home was bulldozed to the ground! See kids? The lesson here is suburban sprawl is a GOOD thing! 😁
I want to see the bloopers from the "your face is gonna freeze that way" scene! I don't know how they kept a straight face doing that, I would've been cracking up on every take!
I remember when I was 3 I was eating cherries and I swallowed a pit and I came to my mom all worried and she was like oh no I guess you need to go stand out side in the sun so the tree can grow and we can pick cherries off of you. I freaked out
I found my mother's transcripts from college. She got a C in typing. Shs told me that she was an A-B student. I asked her about it and she said that her mother said that she could always pay someone to type her papers!
I learned that it was a lie bacause I overheard my parents talking with an old friend who had financal default before and discussing how long the record will stay in Schufa (a major German creditworthness tracking company) and thought, if people can steal that much amount of money (in my mind owing money and unable to pay back is the same as stealing money, well it probably is) and get away with it in 5 or 10 years, my wrongdoings in school shall be cleared much earlier.
Geeat job...here are 10 I am sure you had to skip: 1. Crossing your eyes ....they will get stuck 2. Eating raw cookie dough.....get worms 3. Waiting an hour after you ate....drown 4. If you sit too close to TV......cross eyed 5. If you pee in the pool.....special dye 6. If you swallow your gum..will stick in stomach 7. Spot went to live on a farm...died 8. Touching a frog.....warts 9. Sneezing with eyes open...pop out And finally 10. Crack your knuckles.....arthritis. Direct from a Georgia Boy.
@@KristiLEvans1 "You may end up with some stomach cramping or a muscle cramp, but this is not a dangerous activity to routinely enjoy." Quote from a doctor in a Mayo Clinic article. Blood flow is increased to your stomach to aid digestion, which leaves less for the muscles.
Forgot how my folks had to walk over ten miles all uphill in blizzards to get to school and ten more miles uphill to get home again and these blizzards were usually in plus 100° heat on the 4th of July.
OMG, the face freeze just killed me. I can remember my mother, repeatedly, telling me don't do that or your face is going to freeze like that. Thanks for the jog down memory lane.
My parents said that all the time. I thought they were being ridiculous until I got my first car. I really don't know how people can drive at night with it on.
I used to swallow gum. I was told that old ppl were hunched over because they swallowed chewing gum. The gum sticks to the ribs when you swallow, and acts as glue when you bend over, sticking your ribs together. I broke that habit so quick.
I hate the texture and taste of green vegetables. I love the color but not the texture and taste. Green is my favorite color. But I digress. I like the texture and taste of corn, potatoes, carrots, beans, and mushrooms.
PhrontDoor isn’t really a lie but really true it’s becuase when you cut the tag it leaves a small opening for all the hospital bags,trash bags with germs come out a little (idk about garbage bag tho but the others are real)
My mother use to tell me that if I cut off the mattress tag the police was going to arrest me cause it's against the law. To this day I don't remove the tag from my mattress.
@@spyro3520 I'm waiting for the George Clooney and Tom Cruise thriller where they launch an elaborate plan to break into a mattress sales place and cut them all off
@em ! Please don't actually do that! XD Microwaves are comprised of non-ionizing radiation, meaning they can't give you cancer and they aren't radioactive. Unless you're IN the microwave with the heat coming at you, you're perfectly safe.
Still waiting for my intestines to explode from swallowing gum and my lips to turn blue from drinking coffee (they are a tad darker). I can't make sugar mountains in my ice tea anymore because she was right about me already being sweet enough.
I dated a guy in college who had never gotten ice cream from an ice cream truck. Growing up, his parents told him the man in the ice cream truck kidnapped children, so every time he heard the music he ran and hid behind the sofa. That was evil genius level money saving…and mind screwing
When fixing boxed mac and cheese once for my kids, I told them that I put extra cheese in it, for years every time I fixed it they would ask for the "extra cheese". When my son got older he asked me for the extra cheese recipe, I told him the "secret ingredient", there is no extra cheese.... He told me his whole world fell apart and his childhood was nothing but lies.... a little dramatic, lmbo!!! but we both laugh about it every time we see a box of mac and cheese.
Jane Doe Nope, and my face isn't puckered up from that too sour juice either. I laugh and shake my head over these kids and their sour candy nowadays. I tell them I'm so old when I was a kid candy was sweet, not sour like a punishment.
Playing with yourself will give you hairy palm. Sitting close to the TV will make you go blind. Playing with fire will make you wet the bed. Talking on a landline during a storm will make your power bill go up.
Some of these I know the logic for! My aunt explained the fire one back in the 70s. If you fall in the fire, you will be bed bound till you heal. If no one in house caring for you, you will pee the bed without assistance. The landlines would shock people if the poles were struck by lightning. Just like tv antennae can be struck and lightning will run in the house that way. I don't know if the wires now are grounded differently or not but those had real stories behind them. It had to be corded phones attached to land lines (not cell phones). The power bill would go up if they had to come rewire the house if wires were destroyed but it was probably more to do with keeping people off landlines during the storm.
So the actual physical dangers of the last two were never mentioned? (A lightning strike blew our landline off the wall and streaked through three rooms of our house before exiting out through the back wall. Left a big scorch mark on one of the walls it went through.
My mother wanted me to get the gap between my two front teeth filled. The dentist and her tried to shame me into getting it done but I refused. She said I'd never get a woman to marry me with that gap like that. Fast forward a few years and I met the woman of my dreams. After we dated a while, I met her dad. He has a gap between his two front teeth! We've been married for 23 years. I kind of think the gap may have helped.
Are those even really permanent? Because nothing else from school seemed to be (other than the psychological issues caused by emotional abuse and bladder problems/chronic dehydration headaches from not being allowed to go to the bathroom or drink water all day)
@@heartofthewild680 Technically, yes the school keeps them forever. A few years ago I had a company I interviewed with ask me to sign a release form for access to my school records. I asked them what they thought they were going to learn from 30 to 40 year old school records. They responded "Dont know, it is just required" So i signed it. Funny part was, they actually tried to pull the records. They contacted the school district that I lived in and got nothing back then asked me to explain why. I was homeschooled back when home schooling was just starting. Makes me wonder what they were looking for.
Thunderstorms were the angels bowling. My much older brother told me this so I wouldn't be so afraid. I miss him so much. Now, when it rhunders, I know he is bowling with them.
Renee Mulherin so sorry for your loss. 😭 I was told the same thing by my parents. Also, that the God and the angels are watering God’s garden when it rains
When I was a kid my aunt told me that swallowing a watermelon seed would make a watermelon grow inside... after I ate one. I remember being *so* scared and frantically asking my mother if it was true.
I honestly think this is why I hated Watermelon as a kid and would either meticulously pick out the seeds or not eat it. And later only eat the seedless ones. Looking back, it all makes sense, I had OCD. I believed them 🥴😂
Seriously, My Not-Southern Mama Told Me Every, Single Summer the Watermelon Seeds Would Grow Tiny Watermelon BABIES in My Belly if I Ate Them😋🍉👶🍉👶🍉👶😳!!!
My neighbor's mother (in her 50s-60s) actually warned me not to eat tomatoes because the seeds would grow in my stomach. I think she was a little offended when I laughed, so I gently explained that there was no way they could grow without soil and sunlight.
My English teacher told us this story of when he was little, his mom would say, "Don't roll your eyes at me or they'll get stuck that way" One day he decided to prank her, so he looked up at the ceiling and then ran to his mom yelling, "Mom! Mom! My eyes are stuck!" Scared the ever-lovin' daylights out of his mom.
So true y'all...I am a very short woman and one night I had to go to the store to pick something up for work. As I was driving back to work I was pulled over by a police officer who asked me for all my info. When he said "How can you see?" Me, without thinking said "Is this another short joke?" The officer just stood there for a minute and then starting giggling then laughing out loud. He said "You don't have your lights on, how can you see the street?" Then he just told me to turn them on and walked away...lol. Seriously, this is so true y'all. The skit of being pulled over for the interior lights reminded me of that.
I don't remember being told, any lies---'cept the one about my eyes getting stuck---but, the one I remember, is being told my eyes were bigger than my stomach, and practically having a stroke, trying to figure-out how that was possible!!! LOL
"You had watermelon without me?!" Oh, that would be me. 😂😂😂 I'm so thankful my parents never made up things like that; they would just launch into loooooong explanations. Just be aware that a cop really can pull you over and ask you some questions for having your interior light on, at least in some places. They won't arrest you just for that, but they may use it as an excuse for searching your car if you're in an area with particularly obnoxious police officers.
No matter how bad The Darkness get's. This channel always finds a way to bring a smile, when it's needed. Between the permanent record, and the frozen face. I was chuckling throughout :)
This had me cackling! I got so upset the first time I was told about the watermelon seed I cried and cried until they could calm me down enough to get me to understand it was "just an expression". This is 100%!
The face freezing thing is actually based in truth, when they first started using haldol as an antipsychotic. It can cause facial contortions, left untreated it can become permanent that was the basis for the Joker in Batman. We now know how to treat that and have medications to actually prevent it.
Thank God I never heard that (as a northerner). As a kid I lived outside while it poured....still do, even as an adult, if I can get away with it! But the darn "adulting" obligations can get in the way! (like looking presentable or whatever!) I love being in the rain....great for the skin too!
I never got this one either. My mom used to make us go outside. Me: But Mom, it's pouring down rain. Mom: I said go outside NOW! --When my friends came over, they thought this was a hoot because they weren't allowed to play in the rain.
In theory, this could happen, or at least that you'd get sick. Your body has to work overtime to heat you, so some of the energy is diverted from the immune system. - My theory. lol Although I did get pneumonia one time when I went outside after the flu and laid on a picnic blanket to get some sunlight...And the ground was cold. Pneumonia was the result.
My mom used to get so exasperated- she'd say to me " Oh, Go play on the freeway! (Go outside or something) and get out of my hair! " I became a long haul trucker. ... giggles
There were so many times as a kid that I'd get myself into trouble and I would be told that it was "going into my permanent record". But I'm a 52yo responsible adult now and I still get a twinge of anxiety that something will come up on some application or a background check that I fill out. "I'm sorry, we can't offer you this contract because when you were 11, you insisted on wearing sneakers to school. And then when you were 12, didn't dress up or comb your hair for picture day." Yes, I actually got reprimanded and told these infractions would go on my permanent record. When I was about 14, I wrote my name on a wall in big block letters in plain sight of everyone along the school hall. I teacher ordered me to the principal's office for graffiti. I took my sleeve and wiped it off because it was a dry erase marker (which was still a fairly new technology at the time). I still got a 2 week suspension and the ever hanging threat over my head that this was now on my "permanent record". I believe the punishment was more about the teacher's hurt ego than anything. Oh Well! 2 week staycation then. OK, go ahead and put it on my permanent record. LOL
I heard other parents say it to their kids as I grew up, but my parents absolutely forbade any pouting, and none of us EVER threw a temper tantrum! Supposedly I tried to have one once when I was about 18 months old, after seeing an older cousin throw one (I had no idea what he was doing, of course), and Mom and Dad put an immediate end to it. I have no idea how---I do know they didn't spank me (I was born in the early 1950s, and spanking was very normal and common back then), but I learned that such behavior wasn't about to be tolerated!
@@jb6712, my grandad used to say it to me, I remember pouting very often and I NEVER threw a fit in his presence (I rarely threw a fit anyway, my parents DID spank us), so I don't remember why he was saying it, I just remember him saying it to me.
My husband did have an accident. While I was sitting with him in the ER (and before he had pain meds) he said "Thank God I listened to my mom and have on clean underwear." The nurse lost it she was laughing so hard.
( this was back in the 90's ) My parents said if I don't learn how to use a computer, I'll work at the grocery store the rest of my life. Now I build their computers for them. lol
My dad told me that monsters don't live in my bedroom but they do live in mommy & daddy's bedroom & their favorite food is little boys that don't knock.
Wish I had thought of that one !
I'm gonna need to use that one...
Your dad is smart. He was in there busting nuts and didn't want to get caught
Hol up
Kevin Riley : Oh, man. That is brilliant!
You forgot the "if you crack your knuckles, you'll get arthritis"
I have arthritis since early teens. When I pop my joints the pain reduces for a bit.
@@andysnedden2253 no.
Yes. A paramedic told me that's not actually true. Sometimes it's good too.
@@andysnedden2253 in the medical field it's currently shown that popping your joints doesn't cause arthritis. Out of years of research and experiments, there's no correlation between arthritis and popping your joints
I cracked my knuckles, wrists and ankles, and I got arthritis. The problem is that I have arthritis in all of my joints and I don't remember cracking my shoulders or my knees.
*Every math teacher ever*
"You wont ever just have a calculator in your pocket"
I had teachers said that exact same thing but then would pass out pocket calculators.
Lmao!!!!
Joke was on him/her. Turn it sideways and it's a Trig calc.
I'm still waiting for that moment when Algebra saves my life!
@@swaghauler8334
I'd be screwed. I never even took algebra.
When I was about 35 weeks pregnant a man walked up to the register at the store I worked in and said, "Somebody's been eating watermelons. " under his breath. I 😐and said I heard that. No I didn't eat watermelon.....its all the chewing gum I swallowed. He bout lost it. Lol
Lol my former dance teacher once told is that it you swallowed your gum, you would get appendicitis. That never happened but don't swallow nail clippings.
🤣🤣
What he meant was that you're black 😏
Human of Augustana What are you saying?
Don't feed the trolls y'all.
My mom used to tell me we'd get pulled over for me using the overhead light at night. hahaha.
No but they'd add the charge if you were in an accident
I know! I thought that was true until I was today-old!
Me too!
Why can't they just be honest say, it's not safe because it obstructs your vision, which could cause an accident and kill everybody. Same thing with gum and watermelon seeds. Don't swallow them, you might choke. No need to make up stories.
Depends on your state.... ive seen it.
I had perfect attendance in High School and the guidance counselor assured me that it would help me in the future. I'm 67 now and not once in my life has anyone ever asked.
Also, except for crosswords and trivia contests, I've never needed to know the State Capitols.
Oh my dawg, Roger! What about 7th grade Algebra?
Lol~That is SO School Classic🤓:)
🤣
Yep my attendance was all gold stars except for that one week.
Showing up to school on time is just like showing up to work on time .. same difference except you get paid for one.
My favorite was “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Lies, all lies!!😂
I hated that😹😹😹😹
Susan, yes😂.
@@BenJammin-ht7bu yeah Bengiman I wonder the same thing. 😅😅😅
Benjamin 😂.
As a daughter, it’s all lies! As a mother, that’s so true!
There has to be a second episode of this.
"If you keep crossing your eyes they'll stick like that forever."
You mean that's not true?🤪😫
@@d.s.3551 no, silly. Your eyes will hurt and you get tired before something can happen with you or your eyes. #commonsence
My mom used to tell me that if I made fun of someone with a disability, I’ll have their disability.
@@saydie6646 karma is a bitch
I've actually meant that guy. It's kinda uncomfortable talking to him cause you don't really know if he's talking to you, or someone behind you, or that wall over there...
'Lisa Frank glitter unicorn pencil with rainbow eraser'
That brings back elementary memories!
Yes!!
And Trapper Keepers🙂
All the "cool" kids had Lisa Frank at my elementary school.
For me, it was a Spotty Dotty pen that could only be purchased at Sanrio Surprises. The girl who stole it claimed she got it at the grocery store, but the only store in town that sold groceries did not carry anything at all that was Sanrio. Plus, it was part of a set, which she did not have. The jokes on her though. 3 years later her home was bulldozed to the ground! See kids? The lesson here is suburban sprawl is a GOOD thing! 😁
And then she pulls out like twenty stolen pencils lol
I want to see the bloopers from the "your face is gonna freeze that way" scene! I don't know how they kept a straight face doing that, I would've been cracking up on every take!
That is exactly what I was thinking! I could not stop laughing!
These guys are professionals that's how. Lol Don't try this at home people.
Rocio Martinez yeah your face will freeze that way
Michael Lefort Adam Sandler. The person you are thinking of Adam Sandler.
Dango Bangal no, he definitely means Shifty Schiff.
Remember that the kids in China are starving and you won’t finish your supper?
Yep.
Mine was "kids in Africa"
You mean kids in Africa?
My grandma told me there were starving kids digging at the landfill for food. I suggested throwing away more of our food to feed them lol
@@finnd517 what?
I remember when I was 3 I was eating cherries and I swallowed a pit and I came to my mom all worried and she was like oh no I guess you need to go stand out side in the sun so the tree can grow and we can pick cherries off of you. I freaked out
awesome mom....lol
That's kinda cute tbh
That is cruel
Good thing you didn't bite it since cherry seeds have cyanide in them.
@Steven Lewis They do but very little
My parents never lied they just liked to embellish their stories.
amal zuhair Who told you that? Your parents?
amal zuhair
Mine did.
The PERMANENT RECORD thing is legendary. I’m 67 and still afraid of it!
CirclePFarm
I figured out they were lying in fifth grade.
I found my mother's transcripts from college. She got a C in typing. Shs told me that she was an A-B student. I asked her about it and she said that her mother said that she could always pay someone to type her papers!
They're gonna get you for that pencil you stole in grade 3, mark my words.
I learned that it was a lie bacause I overheard my parents talking with an old friend who had financal default before and discussing how long the record will stay in Schufa (a major German creditworthness tracking company) and thought, if people can steal that much amount of money (in my mind owing money and unable to pay back is the same as stealing money, well it probably is) and get away with it in 5 or 10 years, my wrongdoings in school shall be cleared much earlier.
I recently found out that not only does my Grade School still have mine but my Grandparents are being stored at a nearby Church!!!
The guy who could make that face and hold it through the whole scene has some serious talent! I would’ve cracked up or broken character. Nice one!
Geeat job...here are 10 I am sure you had to skip:
1. Crossing your eyes ....they will get stuck
2. Eating raw cookie dough.....get worms
3. Waiting an hour after you ate....drown
4. If you sit too close to TV......cross eyed
5. If you pee in the pool.....special dye
6. If you swallow your gum..will stick in stomach
7. Spot went to live on a farm...died
8. Touching a frog.....warts
9. Sneezing with eyes open...pop out
And finally
10. Crack your knuckles.....arthritis.
Direct from a Georgia Boy.
CPB1 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I still don’t let my kids swim right after they eat... Did my mom lie about that?
I was told ALL of these things, save the pool dye lie (which I will actually use!). I believe half of them, still. Ugh. I’m 47 years old. 😖
I heard all your swallowed gum ended up in your appendix which would explode.
@@KristiLEvans1 "You may end up with some stomach cramping or a muscle cramp, but this is not a dangerous activity to routinely enjoy." Quote from a doctor in a Mayo Clinic article. Blood flow is increased to your stomach to aid digestion, which leaves less for the muscles.
Let’s not overlook “what will the neighbors think?”
Kat35 Lulu what neighbors? lol. I live in nowhere
Neighbours?
That's true!
still waitin on that crop of potatoes to grow out of my brother"s ears.
Pretending they said that to your nonexistant brother instead of you! smooth cover up!!
Yep lol
Potatoes? I thought it was corn 😅
@@Marcel_Audubon hey don't be rude, you don't know her life
Haha
Forgot how my folks had to walk over ten miles all uphill in blizzards to get to school and ten more miles uphill to get home again and these blizzards were usually in plus 100° heat on the 4th of July.
Barbara Vick Your parents were rich. Mine were so poor they couldn’t even afford feet. Had to walk on stumps all the time.
Barbara Vick My dad said that too! They must be from the same hometown😄
Yes, and nowadays kids don't walk to school at all anymore...
@@sunniertimer598,
Kids want a ride to the store 3 blocks away after they were just there yesterday. We might go to town once a week if we were lucky.
Wait, how is it uphill in both directions?
What about making sure you always leave the house with clean underwear on in case you get into a car accident?
Ooh that's a good one!
“Yes Mam, we found them in the glove box!”
I was told to always have a spare pair on you incase you do get into one and have an accident in your pants so you can change into clean ones
@@samiam619 🤣🤣🤣🤣👍😎🐶👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@karenkane7125 me too. Once again proving common sense is taught. 😎👍🐶👏👏👏
Don’t forget the “if you sit to close to the tv you’ll go blind” thing?
I remember that. It’s how my parents realized I was nearly blind. And got me glasses.
Funny how that actually turned out to be true
The "turning on the light in the car" hit me hard.
Lol, I remember hearing the watermelon rumor when I was a kid. Terrified me! :P
Also, "How do you see at night?". Lol!
Taylor Jenkins You know, in some countries people eat roasted watermelon seeds
Now you just need some starving Chinese kids who want the Brussels sprouts from my dinner plate.
I heard that one too. Once I answered back .stick mine in an envelope and send it to them. Mom got a switch .I don't remember much after that.😳
I don't know about any starving kids in China, but you can ship your brussel sprouts to me because I like brussel sprouts! 😂
My parents never said stuff like that but my grandpa did and it was impossible to disrespect that because he did have a hard life.
There will be a sequel, because there's more!
OMG, the face freeze just killed me. I can remember my mother, repeatedly, telling me don't do that or your face is going to freeze like that. Thanks for the jog down memory lane.
That face was hysterical! Great job!
Use that face when getting your driver's license.
Oh my gosh the "driving with the interior lights on" was hilarious!! I thought my parents were the only ones who said that!!
No one ever said that to me or in my presence. It's something I would never do, nor have I known anyone who would do such a foolish thing.
My parents said that all the time. I thought they were being ridiculous until I got my first car. I really don't know how people can drive at night with it on.
I used to swallow gum. I was told that old ppl were hunched over because they swallowed chewing gum. The gum sticks to the ribs when you swallow, and acts as glue when you bend over, sticking your ribs together. I broke that habit so quick.
"If you keep eating all that chicken you'll start growing feathers" was one I had😂
Same here! I used to get plucked for feathers too!
My husband still tells me that regularly and we’re 43. He’s just complaining that I cook too much chicken. LOL
I guess I'll grow feathers, then, because I love fried chicken 🍗!!! 🤤
And I'll grow large spots and a tail because I love beef, also! 🥩
I was told a snapping turtle would bite and not let go until it thunders
I was told that it was lightning that did that. Lol
That's hilarious.
@John Lester rofl! I will keep that in mind.
@John Lester lol! I agree.
Lynn
They will bite, bad.
My dad told me that I better eat my broccoli. He said it’d put hair on my chest. As a little girl that freaked me out because my dad was super hairy
I hate the texture and taste of green vegetables. I love the color but not the texture and taste. Green is my favorite color. But I digress. I like the texture and taste of corn, potatoes, carrots, beans, and mushrooms.
Yukkoli! (Broccoli + yuk)
🤣 My dad used that line on us too!
I was told the same thing about the crusts from my bread!
Thought the traffic stop was for cutting tags off mattresses and pillows -- truly a heinous act.
PhrontDoor isn’t really a lie but really true it’s becuase when you cut the tag it leaves a small opening for all the hospital bags,trash bags with germs come out a little (idk about garbage bag tho but the others are real)
No, that's not a "lie your parents tell you", that's a lie that people who can't read tell you.
My mother use to tell me that if I cut off the mattress tag the police was going to arrest me cause it's against the law. To this day I don't remove the tag from my mattress.
@@spyro3520 I'm waiting for the George Clooney and Tom Cruise thriller where they launch an elaborate plan to break into a mattress sales place and cut them all off
@@PhrontDoor hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hilarious. Can't wait to watch it to see if they really get arrested. Hahahahaha
I’m surprised I’m not glowing from all the radiation, from looking at the microwave too long
I had a professor who said to stand at least five feet away. He was conducting research on a certain brand.
@em ! That was 20+ years ago.
@em ! Please don't actually do that! XD Microwaves are comprised of non-ionizing radiation, meaning they can't give you cancer and they aren't radioactive. Unless you're IN the microwave with the heat coming at you, you're perfectly safe.
@em ! Take Sebastian's advice. Just don't rip off the door or walls to your microwave.
I still walk a few feet away while my food is cooking. Habit, and a bit of fear. Just in case I guess.
I am deeply bothered that entire cast spoke to my parents.
Still waiting for my intestines to explode from swallowing gum and my lips to turn blue from drinking coffee (they are a tad darker). I can't make sugar mountains in my ice tea anymore because she was right about me already being sweet enough.
I dated a guy in college who had never gotten ice cream from an ice cream truck. Growing up, his parents told him the man in the ice cream truck kidnapped children, so every time he heard the music he ran and hid behind the sofa. That was evil genius level money saving…and mind screwing
When fixing boxed mac and cheese once for my kids, I told them that I put extra cheese in it, for years every time I fixed it they would ask for the "extra cheese". When my son got older he asked me for the extra cheese recipe, I told him the "secret ingredient", there is no extra cheese....
He told me his whole world fell apart and his childhood was nothing but lies.... a little dramatic, lmbo!!! but we both laugh about it every time we see a box of mac and cheese.
Now you can buy cheese sauce in a jar if you really want extra that much.
@@MoogieB I did that too with juice. The first time they had full strength juice my kids came home with upset stomachs from it being too sweet.
@@MoogieB I remember having to put sugar in Donald Duck orange juice because it was too sour for me. Started getting Hi-C later and it was great.
Jane Doe Nope, and my face isn't puckered up from that too sour juice either. I laugh and shake my head over these kids and their sour candy nowadays. I tell them I'm so old when I was a kid candy was sweet, not sour like a punishment.
Gamer Mom x 10
I always put in extra cheese.
My nanny used to make us stick out our tongues, when she thought we were fibbing. "You get bumps on your tongue, when you lie." she told us.
My dad told us the little white spots we got under our nails were times we lied 🙄
That's a good one!
Same it was my granny who told me that though
Oh lie bumps. Yes.....there from acid. Lol
I tell my kids their ears turn red when they lie. Now they cover their ears every time they are lying 😂
Playing with yourself will give you hairy palm.
Sitting close to the TV will make you go blind.
Playing with fire will make you wet the bed.
Talking on a landline during a storm will make your power bill go up.
Taking a bath in a storm will get you electrocuted
Some of these I know the logic for! My aunt explained the fire one back in the 70s. If you fall in the fire, you will be bed bound till you heal. If no one in house caring for you, you will pee the bed without assistance.
The landlines would shock people if the poles were struck by lightning. Just like tv antennae can be struck and lightning will run in the house that way. I don't know if the wires now are grounded differently or not but those had real stories behind them. It had to be corded phones attached to land lines (not cell phones). The power bill would go up if they had to come rewire the house if wires were destroyed but it was probably more to do with keeping people off landlines during the storm.
@@yougerard1976 you can get electrocuted if you’re in a pool while there’s lightning.
So the actual physical dangers of the last two were never mentioned?
(A lightning strike blew our landline off the wall and streaked through three rooms of our house before exiting out through the back wall. Left a big scorch mark on one of the walls it went through.
@@apocalypticblox2346 I don't know if that's true, but I'm not going to try to find out.
My mother wanted me to get the gap between my two front teeth filled. The dentist and her tried to shame me into getting it done but I refused. She said I'd never get a woman to marry me with that gap like that.
Fast forward a few years and I met the woman of my dreams. After we dated a while, I met her dad. He has a gap between his two front teeth! We've been married for 23 years. I kind of think the gap may have helped.
Love you guys. Especially the beautiful "cashier" in the last sketch about faces and coffee.
Y'all left out that if you swallow chewing gum that it was going to make you constipated.
That Permanent Record Part’s The 1 That Would Get me in Big Trouble🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Are those even really permanent? Because nothing else from school seemed to be (other than the psychological issues caused by emotional abuse and bladder problems/chronic dehydration headaches from not being allowed to go to the bathroom or drink water all day)
@@heartofthewild680 Don’t Know,&,Bummer
@@heartofthewild680 Technically, yes the school keeps them forever. A few years ago I had a company I interviewed with ask me to sign a release form for access to my school records. I asked them what they thought they were going to learn from 30 to 40 year old school records. They responded "Dont know, it is just required" So i signed it. Funny part was, they actually tried to pull the records. They contacted the school district that I lived in and got nothing back then asked me to explain why. I was homeschooled back when home schooling was just starting. Makes me wonder what they were looking for.
They act like it’s some criminal record or something and no one will ever hire you when nobody gives a fuck lmao
@@heartofthewild680 imagine the problems the perpetually masked kids of today are going to have...
Thunderstorms were the angels bowling. My much older brother told me this so I wouldn't be so afraid. I miss him so much. Now, when it rhunders, I know he is bowling with them.
Renee Mulherin so sorry for your loss. 😭 I was told the same thing by my parents. Also, that the God and the angels are watering God’s garden when it rains
@@FranciscanGypsy Thank you for the lovely reply. I hope to be helping to tend God's garden someday.
When I was a kid my aunt told me that swallowing a watermelon seed would make a watermelon grow inside... after I ate one. I remember being *so* scared and frantically asking my mother if it was true.
What about boys? Did mother tell them they would grow a watermelon?
They always told you AFTER!
I honestly think this is why I hated Watermelon as a kid and would either meticulously pick out the seeds or not eat it. And later only eat the seedless ones. Looking back, it all makes sense, I had OCD.
I believed them 🥴😂
How about if you pick up a frog and it pee’s on you, you will grow warts?
CirclePFarm 🤣🤣 I remember that one
I thought all you had to do was touch a frog
I thought it was toads? Frogs don't have warts, but we had these toads in the backyard, and I was absolutely terrified of getting warts from them >
That is trueee
CirclePFarm
Those are toads, not frogs
Seriously, My Not-Southern Mama Told Me Every, Single Summer the Watermelon Seeds Would Grow Tiny Watermelon BABIES in My Belly if I Ate Them😋🍉👶🍉👶🍉👶😳!!!
My grandpa always told me I'd grow watermelon out of my ears.
@@heidimarchant5438
LOL~Such a Grandpa Sayin'🍉🤓❣:)
I never thought that was true so I always ate the watermelon seeds. People thought I was crazy!
My neighbor's mother (in her 50s-60s) actually warned me not to eat tomatoes because the seeds would grow in my stomach. I think she was a little offended when I laughed, so I gently explained that there was no way they could grow without soil and sunlight.
@@Amm1ttai
Lol~That is so funny...Moms🍅🙄:)
Look at Matt looking all professional and sharp!
My English teacher told us this story of when he was little, his mom would say, "Don't roll your eyes at me or they'll get stuck that way" One day he decided to prank her, so he looked up at the ceiling and then ran to his mom yelling, "Mom! Mom! My eyes are stuck!" Scared the ever-lovin' daylights out of his mom.
😮
"If you eat too much trix your gonna turn into a bunny"
Where is that?
or playing with the fire (while we were camping), you'll pee in the bed
Only cuz tricks is for kids.
@paisleyyama Or a pickle I love pickles
@@gerikimbrell383 Adults like trix
@@SpenceStan888 hahahaha my kiddos papa JUST told them that this past weekend!! As they were poking at the campfire!
So true y'all...I am a very short woman and one night I had to go to the store to pick something up for work. As I was driving back to work I was pulled over by a police officer who asked me for all my info. When he said "How can you see?" Me, without thinking said "Is this another short joke?" The officer just stood there for a minute and then starting giggling then laughing out loud. He said "You don't have your lights on, how can you see the street?" Then he just told me to turn them on and walked away...lol.
Seriously, this is so true y'all.
The skit of being pulled over for the interior lights reminded me of that.
what ever happened to "I hope when you grow up you have kids just like you!" my mom always said that to me. lol
My Mom said that same thing to my brother! We call it the mother's curse!
@@karenschneberger2655 ah mothers.. hey love us and curse us at he same time.
My dad told me one time that if you drive without your headlights on, even in broad daylight, you'll get pulled over.
You could get a whole series of sketches from this premise!
"You had watermelon.... without me?"
Oh the betrayal!
The second which as I take my time means I am a true southerner :-)
Are you saying it *isn't* illegal to drive with the interior lights on?!
Correct. Just discouraged because it can affect your night vision.
No it isn't. Also there is no specific laws preventing from being barefoot while driving (even on a motorcycle). Crazy but true.
I heard that someone believed that until she was 29!
That's it! We need more of these! This one was great
I don't remember being told, any lies---'cept the one about my eyes getting stuck---but, the one I remember, is being told my eyes were bigger than my stomach, and practically having a stroke, trying to figure-out how that was possible!!! LOL
Your face will freeze that way because I said so.
Y’all are hilarious.
"You had watermelon without me?!" Oh, that would be me. 😂😂😂 I'm so thankful my parents never made up things like that; they would just launch into loooooong explanations.
Just be aware that a cop really can pull you over and ask you some questions for having your interior light on, at least in some places. They won't arrest you just for that, but they may use it as an excuse for searching your car if you're in an area with particularly obnoxious police officers.
ErykaSoleil
Or ones that are just bored.
It does turn your car into a literal lighthouse and makes you look distracted
The cop should have also charged him with driving barefoot.
ErykaSoleil
Or officers wondering why you're a jerk driver?
Darrell Patton
That is not illegal most places. I used to be a police officer and I've always driven barefoot.
I was once told that if I eat the seeds, a tree would grow inside my stomach.
wait not everyone in the US says these things? i didn’t know it was just a southern thing
Eery one of them was told to me and I'm in Oregon along with my whole family
The title is "if your parents' lies were true"...nothing about just southern parents
Crystal Ruiz The channel is called It’s a southern thing and it was at the end of the video
I don't think it's specifically a southern thing (even though that's the channel), it think it just fits into the type of skits they do.
Ikr, I heard stuff like that and I’m a Yankee
I remember being told when a parent was trying to pull out a splinter that if I leave it in there a treee would start to grow...
My mom AND Grandma both lied about eating spinach and getting muscles like Popeye.
I would love to see the behind-the-scenes on this one! Also, I understood everything but the stealing pencils bit....
Kids' parents telling them that getting into trouble in grade school goes on their permanent record, like it will follow them the rest of their lives.
No matter how bad The Darkness get's.
This channel always finds a way to bring a smile, when it's needed.
Between the permanent record, and the frozen face.
I was chuckling throughout :)
frozen face is hilarious!!
This just keeps getting better. Always look forward to this show 😂
"Everything you learn at school will be useful one day"
This had me cackling! I got so upset the first time I was told about the watermelon seed I cried and cried until they could calm me down enough to get me to understand it was "just an expression".
This is 100%!
2:46 god his face is generally so normal but this is scaring me.
The 'permanent record' one is my favorite. Talk about scare tactics.
Apparently Santa only starts watching you around the beginning of November.
Moms have some good leverage there for a few months. 😂
The face freezing thing is actually based in truth, when they first started using haldol as an antipsychotic. It can cause facial contortions, left untreated it can become permanent that was the basis for the Joker in Batman. We now know how to treat that and have medications to actually prevent it.
I expected to see a farm full of dogs living their best lives... 😢
I love how he says careful at the end he is so nice and concerned
The driving with the interior light on belief is strong where I live.
Who even does that?
I am impressed Adam could hold that face for so long! And props to the others for keeping a straight face!
1:37
I can’t believe he kept a straight face during that
I love you guys! So funny! Thank you so much for all you hard work, creativeness & laughter! It is the best medicine!
If my parents lies were true, then I wouldn’t be alive right now
"Sitting too close to the TV will ruin your eyes!"...Well dang, I guess I went blind 20+ years ago and just didn't notice.
And catching pneumonia if you go out in the rain
Thank God I never heard that (as a northerner). As a kid I lived outside while it poured....still do, even as an adult, if I can get away with it! But the darn "adulting" obligations can get in the way! (like looking presentable or whatever!) I love being in the rain....great for the skin too!
I never got this one either. My mom used to make us go outside. Me: But Mom, it's pouring down rain. Mom: I said go outside NOW! --When my friends came over, they thought this was a hoot because they weren't allowed to play in the rain.
In theory, this could happen, or at least that you'd get sick. Your body has to work overtime to heat you, so some of the energy is diverted from the immune system. - My theory. lol Although I did get pneumonia one time when I went outside after the flu and laid on a picnic blanket to get some sunlight...And the ground was cold. Pneumonia was the result.
@@walkingnarrow8574 it was the flu. Something left behind. N them most likely bacteria inhaled from the soil.
My mom used to get so exasperated- she'd say to me " Oh, Go play on the freeway! (Go outside or something) and get out of my hair! "
I became a long haul trucker. ... giggles
I was literally just in a restaurant like Marylin's the other night. It was a barbecue joint, no less.
“Interior lights on!”
Why did I saw that coming 😂?!
"There's a stork here to see you."
" Dammit June! I told you not to sit on the toilet. "
I love the manager who stunted their growth
Omg they got Talia’s daughter on here again. She has grown so much! Her eyes and hair are everything!!
Yep surprised me. She's pretty isn't she like her mom
Ikr she has grown so much
There were so many times as a kid that I'd get myself into trouble and I would be told that it was "going into my permanent record". But I'm a 52yo responsible adult now and I still get a twinge of anxiety that something will come up on some application or a background check that I fill out. "I'm sorry, we can't offer you this contract because when you were 11, you insisted on wearing sneakers to school. And then when you were 12, didn't dress up or comb your hair for picture day." Yes, I actually got reprimanded and told these infractions would go on my permanent record.
When I was about 14, I wrote my name on a wall in big block letters in plain sight of everyone along the school hall. I teacher ordered me to the principal's office for graffiti. I took my sleeve and wiped it off because it was a dry erase marker (which was still a fairly new technology at the time). I still got a 2 week suspension and the ever hanging threat over my head that this was now on my "permanent record". I believe the punishment was more about the teacher's hurt ego than anything. Oh Well! 2 week staycation then. OK, go ahead and put it on my permanent record. LOL
Anyone else get "if you don't quit stickin' out that lip a rooster's gonna sit on it"? FYI: Never got my damn rooster!
I forgot about that one.
I heard other parents say it to their kids as I grew up, but my parents absolutely forbade any pouting, and none of us EVER threw a temper tantrum!
Supposedly I tried to have one once when I was about 18 months old, after seeing an older cousin throw one (I had no idea what he was doing, of course), and Mom and Dad put an immediate end to it. I have no idea how---I do know they didn't spank me (I was born in the early 1950s, and spanking was very normal and common back then), but I learned that such behavior wasn't about to be tolerated!
@@jb6712, my grandad used to say it to me, I remember pouting very often and I NEVER threw a fit in his presence (I rarely threw a fit anyway, my parents DID spank us), so I don't remember why he was saying it, I just remember him saying it to me.
My mom always used to say that if I ate while standing up all the food would go to my feet.
Lmao forgot the sticking your bottom lip out and a bird will poop on it one..... We tell that to my niece all the time
My mom would say an elephant would step on mine. 😏
I haven't even been to the southern USA yet here I am watching these videos like some sort of fascinated anthropologist....
I'm in a terrible mood but this has got me laughing. Hilarious good job as always.
Hahaha...the face getting frozen that way! I knew that would come up for sure 🤣
It’s so cool how all of these parental lies are universal!!!😁
This might not apply to this but the one where your parents tell you to make sure you have clean underwear on in case of an accident 😆
My husband did have an accident. While I was sitting with him in the ER (and before he had pain meds) he said "Thank God I listened to my mom and have on clean underwear." The nurse lost it she was laughing so hard.
If I got into one, I'd either soil myself or there would be blossoms in my underwear.
@@lindadavidson2237 😄😆
@@eldergeek6077 oh my 😁
My mom was a nurse so yeah, nobody wants to see your dirty underwear.
( this was back in the 90's ) My parents said if I don't learn how to use a computer, I'll work at the grocery store the rest of my life. Now I build their computers for them. lol