thanks Ella and Scott for making these videos and sharing your honest views on cultures whilst still being very sensitive and polite around the topic. Loving your culture-related videos :)
Good video Scott. I agree wholeheartedly with some of them. I first arrived in China in 2006, the traffic, and the rubbish was about 10x worse than in Yangshuo. A positive culture shock: How people you know will go out of their way to help you. I went to Sanya, and a colleague arranged his friend to collect me at the bus station and then drive me to my hotel. Going beyond the call of duty there. Opposing that is the lack of help that can be on display from people you dont know. I was also frequently told NOT to help strangers, as they could possibly blame me for their loss, fall or inconvenience. Students and studying. I was very shocked to see students openly sleeping in classrooms during lessons, ignoring the teacher, or doing maths homework during an English class etc. That was a big shocker for me. Language culture shocks: Everyone asking me if I'd had lunch / dinner / breakfast. It made me very uncomfortable at first as if I said "not yet", I expected to be asked to join them and I didnt want to keep refusing invitations. Later I learnt this was just a greeting. Another language one: Being told I was handsome so often, and being asked for my QQ or telephone number so often. I thought people were flirting with me or hoping to date me. Work culture surprised me too. Many of my Chinese friends work in offices, and they work very long hours, but mostly, or often, they arent doing anything. When I worked in a middle school, my Chinese colleagues had to be at school all day, but they only taught 2 or 3 lessons. A positive culture shock to finish: How happy, content people generally appear, and how often people smile and laugh. For that reason, my friend circles in China were almost always with Chinese people. The optimism was refreshing. Ooooh, a weather culture shock too. I started in Hainan. Hottest most uncomfortable summer I've ever experienced. In 2009, I arrived in YS in December. It felt the coldest place Id ever been in, even though the temperatures were not extreme. Oct 2009 I hiked Kilimanjaro, but my mountain trek gear was not warm enough for YS winter. (BJ was better due to central heating) Positive fact again: I never felt alone in China. A very nice cultural difference is it is quite easy to meet people and make friends in China, and that isnt easy to do as an 'outsider' in the UK
This is a great list Nick! I shared many of these, the asking about food and being called handsome both made me chuckle to myself. Amazing how long it can take to work some things out that seem obvious in hindsight. The school-related one is news to me and surprising (though not unbelievable). Yangshuo winters are brutal! Thanks for sharing, Scott
@@EllaScott Here is another interesting culture difference story as well. In 2013, on my 3rd trip back to YS, I took a friend with me. It was his first time to travel anywhere other than on a package holiday to Spain. I stayed at OMD, he stayed at a hotel Odar owned, which has been repurposed now as student accom. We arrived at 6pm, I took him to his hotel and said I'd collect him at 7pm for dinner. When I came back, he was physically shaken and said he couldnt stay there because of the bathroom. He had never seen a squat before, and couldnt find the flush. He was trying to 'clean' his WC with the weak water stream from his shower. I naturally showed him the flush. This wild panic continued at almost every encounter. He hated the food. He couldn't cope with crossing the road. He babbled with slang and colliquial language to students so nobody understood him. He hated the crowds, he was terrified of a local dog and worried about rabies. He couldnt figure out the money and was like a child holding all of it outstretched in his hand for vendors to take. After seeing the traffic he wouldnt hire a bike unless he could hire a cycle helmet .... he basically spent a week in a continual state of agitation and panic attacks, which he invariably attacked me for. Five days before the end of his 15 night stay, I exploded and couldn't take him anymore. We didn't speak for his last days in YS. His hotel helped him take a taxi to Guilin airport, and we have never seen or spoken since. True story. Chinese Teacher Tom always used to love to hear a story about my time in YS with Ralph. Ill send Ella a photo or two 😆
@@nickpellatt What makes the winter in Yangshuo so cold? Is there some strange weather quirk that makes it feel colder than you would expect for the temperature? Good list btw :)
Was wonderful meeting you and Ella on the boat!! You guys are so lovely to talk to. Thank you for sharing this excellent content. I think Xav also found it relevant. I laugh so hard where you mentioned 'tomato and eggs' (a Chinese person living overseas or a foreigner living in China will def know what I am talking about ….) .
I enjoyed all 3 videos about culture shock, it's very interesting to hear how things which you wouldn't even think anything of, are foreign and done differently in another culture
My daughter was there a few years ago. Her boyfriend and she fell off their moped on a greasy wet road. A woman came over and proceeded to whack her boyfriend with her umbrella and shout at him for letting my daughter fall on the ground. They rarely had to stop for red lights because they were obvious foreigners they would always be ushered through by everyone, Police, other drivers, pedestrians. When they discovered she was Irish and a native English speaker with a business and finance degree she was immediately given (whether she wanted it or not) a job teaching business English. They were so pleased that they put up a huge shop window poster of her on each street corner window of their office It said genuine English business lady teacher. So for 3 or4 months she was a local celebrity everywhere they went in Shenzhen
Loved this video. I lived in China for almost 4 years and this video was a massive nostalgia hit. Though I was surprised about your comment about rubbish as I actually found the streets of my city impeccably clean (perhaps because there were street cleaners there practically 24/7). A huge culture shock for me in China was the way that people behave in public - especially how people shove onto lifts and subways and literally walk into other people and then just carry on as if nothing happened. I really miss the energy of the place though - there's nowhere quite like it. And I loved Yangshuo when I went there in 2017!!
Great that you got to see Yangshuo! The trash I mentioned was an impression from that area, so beautiful and yet rubbish everywhere. It's true there's nowhere quite like China, glad we could bring back some good memories
I'm very intrigued by how you negotiated the difference between friend and relationship. I also prefer the company of women so I'd love to hear more about how you're navigating that.
In a few words, being upfront and respectful but it takes patience and understanding on both sides that took a while to build (and a few trial and errors)
Don't marry someone from a Culture that's too different to yours unless they are super chill and flexible. It just doesn't work long term and resentments build up.
The "dowry" thing. What you didn't elaborate on in the beginning was that the wife is given and therefore "lost" for eternity to the husband and the husband's family. The wife is expected to be a full member of the husband's family. So for annual celebrations she would expect (and her birth family would expect) by default focused on her husband's family. In England that would not be expected at all - rather you'd be much more likely to "take turns" with each family. That's my understanding from my wife's wider family.
Few people know that culture shock is actually much more than a mere cultural difference. Culture shock, as its name shows, is a shock that can cause anxiety, depression, anger, acute weight loss or weight gain etc in individuals. It's a physical and mental shock.
The words "culture shock" are whatever the majority define them to be. So I think by the very nature of common understanding this phrase encompasses more than you would argue here. But I also don't think it's important to break down the semantics of this concept. Different people are shocked in different ways. In this way it's a spectrum. I would define a culture shock as the awareness that the society you are currently in functions totally differently from what you are used to: a literal shock to the system, yes.
My 'culture shock' is a tad dull, but it was something that i had no idea about coming from the UK (London, which probably made a difference). I lived in rural France for a few years and i soon realised that when entering a small shop, if i didnt call out 'Bonjour' straight away i would receive really chilly service. Saying Bonjour once i got to the cashier wasnt enough.
@@EllaScott Yes, they considered it impolite. It isn't the case in larger towns and cities though. Im really enjoying the films on your other channel - Fragrant Mandarin. So well made and interesting. I urge anyone reading this to go and have a look. You wont be disappointed. PS Lucky Ella & Scott being in Scotland its so beautiful there.
@@EllaScott Yes in France you always start off with Bonjour Monsieur or Bonjour Madame before any interaction with a stranger. French people, at least in the country, tend to wait for the other party to reply with the same before launching into their enquiry, but I am generally paranid that they will take me for a religious nut or beggar and so launch straight into my request.
For me the culture shocks staying with my Chinese extended family in Jiangsu and Jilin provinces were: * hole/gutter in the floor street toilets (inc Hutongs in Beijing) * at home, everyone is expected to put soiled toilet paper in little bins by the toilet bowl * the large amount of dishes for everyday home meals * home cooked dishes are brought out daily until finished * so many electric mopeds, so few bicycles * the easy consumption of neat hard liquor at all celebrations * the wonderful sense of humour when you get to know people * very deep family bonds. Family (including extended) are much, much more important than friends. It is not normal to put friends before family, ever. * the high staffing levels (conductors, attendants) on intercity trains, which are smooth and fast. One train had smartly turned out staff, with white gloves, one per carriage!
Its interesting that hugging is only really a thing in Uk from millenial gen onwards. If you had gone round hugging people in the 1970s/80s in Uk you woudl have got equally strange reactions.
There is the "old boys club" still active in the UK, depending on who you know you can most definitely use it to bend custom and minor laws. Is this similar to guanxi?
English vs Haitian culture shock: Gravity doesn't apply to house-building! My Haitian godson told me over the phone the good news that his parents had started to build their house; they already had the roof up and were saving money to build the walls! 😍😯 As we generally communicate in French - the second language for both of us - I assumed a mis-translation. He was emphatic, however, that the roof was already up and they had started building the walls; and he absolutely could not understand what on earth I was banging on about - that it was impossible to build the roof until you'd built the walls!😮 Indeed, according to him, one could not build a house by making the walls first. I muttered things about Newton, apples, etc, and that the whole thing just wouldn't fly - literally or figuratively. The topic lasted several phone calls and got quite flabbergasted on both sides; until he sent me a photo. So now I know that a poor farmer's house in the Haitian countryside starts with a stout pole at each corner; you then erect a tin roof as you would for an open-sided barn. If you are "rich", concrete breeze-blocks are subsequently saved up for and bought as and when you can afford them - and thus the walls gradually rise up to meet the roof! 😁😁 NB: Please seriously note that these houses are in NO WAY hurricane-proof unless the builder knits together the corners. They just comprise four flat walls, any or all of which will collapse in a strong wind. I wish I could have had some input into this but by the time I went to visit, it was too late. I was absolutely aghast and told him what would happen. The house, unsurprisingly, collapsed in a hurricane. Thank goodness, nobody was killed. The next house was built with intersecting corners. It's still standing. (There is zero pleasure in being proved right.)
Wow what a great story and fascinating (but potentially disasterous way of building a house). I hope they jave manager to buikd something that can last longer now and does not defy gravity! Thanks for sharing!
Yup, agree with all that. My wife is Chinese (although from Singapore). The Chinese are LOUD especially if from a large family. My wife claims to have three birthdays, Chinese lunar calendar, western calendar on Singapore time and then again a day later on UK time, but I think that is just being greedy. You didn't mention the harrasment by street traders as a non-native when walking down the street. We went to Guilin and Yangshou on holiday a few years ago and took a boat down the Li river, absolutely stunning scenery, beautiful.
It depends where you go - it's only in tourist areas that you will get asked for things and a simple 不用啦！(bu yong la) usually deters any harassment. Can't say it's a culture shock as this happens in the UK too sometimes :) Funny about your wife's three birthdays - that's a new one for me!
@@EllaScott lived in singapore all my life. The only people who keeps track of their lunar calendar birthdays are those who are over 80. His wife just wants 3 presents from him
The family tradition and culture had different economic content. In Chinese tradition, the sons are responsibly to take care of the parents for life long, not the daughter, and parents will help the son economically when he get marry. While a daughter get marry, she will put the parents of her husband in the first place, and the husband is supposed to take care of his own parents for life long. When east meet west, things are changing. I wish both the wife and the husband, love and take care the parents of both side, then althought you have not follow the rule of this culture, but you are fullfilling the core value of this culture. Another wisdom in this culture is that, if a man working hard for money to get a wife, he will not be reckless, and will be more treasured his wife.
This video was very interesting as while a westerner myself, I come from a different western country in Europe (Greece), and reckognized we actually lean towards the chinese culture in alot of respects as opposed to what was presented as the british one. We too have the concept of guanxi ( Βύσμα ), and we too have a culture where hugging people you are not intimately familiar with would be seen as weird. The concept of having to pay the bride's parents money is (or more accurately was) actually reversed. Up until the 60s, the bride's parents would have to accumulate an inheritance ( προίκα ) that would have to be passed to the groom upon marriage, otherwise the prospects of a girl getting married were slim to none. Thankfully this custom is long gone, but still very interesting to see the complete reversal of it still prospering in a different part of the world. As for national pride, we have it very prevolantly, but only insofar as to our history, heritage, culture and people. We too pretty much slag off the goverment non stop, infact I'd venture to claim even more so than the british. Lastly, traffic is pretty terrible here too and people often drive very irrisponsibly, but to be fair this is always against the rules, which people are often just willing to ignore.
I remember getting really annoyed every time I went swimming. All the men think it's fine to piss in the showers, so one day I squatted down and said I was gonna take a dump. The swimming pool is like the Harbin ski slope. Chaos. Some people are swimming around the edge because they are afraid to go in the middle. Some are doing widths, some are doing lengths. Some even do a diagonal. And then is always some macho man how comes hammering into the shallow end doing his butterfly. The shallow end is full of people just standing around chatting. I tell to go to the cafe if they want to chat. My local pool had seats and tables around the outside where people ate and smoked and watched the foreigner doing lengths.
Loved my time in China. It was great learning new things and meeting new friends. People are kind and helpful. Even years later I still keep in touch with some of my friends. That said, there were some pet peeves. Biggest problem was how it isn’t pedestrian friendly in most places. Some places had pavements like bathroom tiles. On a rainy day it’s deadly. Day after a rainy day there was always a visible number of people struggling with an injury because they’d slipped on the wet pavement. Also motorcycles on the pavement really ticked me off. Especially the electric ones whose faint noise is lost in the background. Always having to be so careful when walking lest I get run over. Honestly motorcyclists ruined what was otherwise a great adventure.
You should try being a cyclist here! I can't get my head around how people in Beijing are so polite and considerate and then cut me off in their cars when I'm in the bike lane!
Speaking from my own experience, the loudness is a combination of how well you have mastered the language being spoken and the social status of the subjects who speak. If you mastered the language, you would listen in and treat it like some sort of information gathering unless you were hard at work and didn't want to be distracted. If you didn't know the language, then of course it would be an annoying background noise whether you were working or not. Also, when you perceive you have higher social status than the subjects who are talking, you find them loud. This is most apparent in my work place, a US owned company in China. The Chinese and Filipino work in harmony when English speakers are in charge. The Chinese would tolerate the Filipino who speaks more fluent English and could communicate with the American boss better. But as the amount of English speaking management diminishes being replaced by Chinese, the Chinese begins to complain the Filipino being loud. It's just subconsicous power play.
I wouldn't say it was a culture shock as such, but it was certainly something of a surprise to be strolling in Shanghai one September morning and hear the air raid sirens start up. It seems they test them once a year, but a little strange if you don't know. Being served sliced chicken, with the slices made through the bone, was a bit of a surprise, and not ideal when you still struggle with chopsticks. Staying in Beijing, Nanjing and Shanghai, and finding Nanjing to be the best place for a night out of the three was unexpected. The fact that virtually all of the scooters in Beijing were electric surprised me. I don't think I've ever seen electric ones outside China.
Thats one big problem I have with China - their nationalism and the people's naive belief that what their government is doing is good. It more and more seems like a force of malevolent badness in the world.
A dowry round the world was traditionally paid by the woman's family -almost like a payment in advance to the man's family to clothe, bathe and feed the new member of the household for life -the woman's family sending money and the man's family giving gifts. This was no different in the UK, India, Arabia, China, US back in the day -there is a vestige of this still in the UK/ US of the bride's family paying for the wedding, though these days it's usually split between the families. In China this 'brideprice' also allowed women their own form of inheritance, rather than sons -but as we all know, it was crippling to have too many daughters anywhere in the world and the rates of infanticide must have been catastrophic. They reversed this in China for these reasons -the man's household now paid the money. -Overall this largely disappeared by the 20th Century but still goes on as a modern guise - a bit of a sexist trope imo where the man has to prove he's financially stable as the main breadwinner and can afford to look after a new family. -Despite in modern times the fact both partners can be the 'main' breadwinner and a stay-at-home wife/ mother is increasingly rare in China (more so than the UK, as the grandparents often take on the nanny role). In southern China, traditionally the poorer half, the brideprice is much higher than in Northern China.
"How are you?" is a phatic expression in the UK. A phatic expression means that the phrase serves as a social function as opposed to an actual request for information. I'm guessing "ni hao ma" isn't phatic in China. Tom Scott made a great little informative video on phatic expressions: ruclips.net/video/eGnH0KAXhCw/видео.html
I would just like to agree , When I married my wife in China,we then visited her Dad up in Hunan,, I did not realise I was suppose to offer him money,and because for some reason the ATM did not work (first time in China ever) we nearly had to divorce..After I remember being in a rail station and my wife went crazy about it..Nothing I said made any difference..Food,,, Ho hum I visited a place called Zhangzhou,,and being alone in a hotel ,and wondering what to eat ,I had to wander around the restaurant looking at other people food to see what I fancied,I then got invited to join a table and had a great time..Also we stayed in some place near Zhurhia (Macan} My wife took me to a restaurant early in the morning (I,m thinking goodee "Breakfast") NO Chance it was a full dinner and the place was full with hundreads of people.. Lastly the Chinese are super patriotic but they do,nt know it,, cheers
I think in the UK we definitely have guanxi it's the old school network, jobs for the boys - you just need to look at the current government and know guanxi definitely exists here 😂
Very true. I don't think I explained it well enough - what I meant was that it affects everybody in society and anyone can have guanxi, not just the rich boys
I've really enjoyed your videos, both. For the "friends who are girls" thing Scott, I believe the Chinese have this right as well. A heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman can not be just good, always platonic, solids friends to a deep level. The level of intimacy required from a non-superficial friendship will cause complications with your wife. And if it's not a deep friendship, why make a big deal about cultivating a 1-1 friendship them, when there are plenty of opportunities to make male friends? I enjoy female company too, but that does not mean they have to be personal friends of mine. At work, in the family, with sports, hobbies, my wife's friends - there are plenty of opportunities to be in the company of women. Once married I was more than happy for all my desire for female friendships to be condensed, perfected and shared with one woman - my wife. No need to compromise. Try it 😉
@@EllaScott they don't last! Even friendships have to "go" somewhere, they require cultivating, feeding - so time, effort, expense etc and that's resources I could be spending with my #1 female friend 😉. With my male friends and hobbies I've no time for female friends either. Still everyone has their own way of living and if you can make it work for you both, then great, all power to you 👍. For me, thousands of years of Chinese culture has created a lot of wisdom that just works 😉
Strongly disagree about national pride. Peeple in the UK *generally* have a very high level of pride in their country but it is the culture to understate it and downplay it publicly so that it does not get in the way or seem brash and rude and so people can focus on the problems and making things better. People are very unafraid to be blunt about their problems and how they want to see them resolved, and that is a type of national pride. Unfortunately in China this type of criticism is increasingly unwelcome in public settings and blind bullish nationalism, similar to what the UK used to promote a very long time ago and nearly opposite what it is now, is very heavilly pushed. Loving your county is certainly not a bad thing by itself, but one begins to question how genuine that pride is when it lacks that element, or even the ability to, have that introspection about the nation's problems
Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't personally know anyone with national pride (age range 15-50) in the UK. That's people up and down the country, too. Mostly working class though, not sure if that makes a difference
Does China have sufficient places to throw things away or recycle? Is the problem that there isn't easily available garbage disposal (or like you have to pay for it or something), or is it just that people toss stuff anyway? My friend went to Thailand for several months and she was stunned that 1) everybody only drank bottled water and 2) they'd toss the bottles on the ground wherever they happened to be (along with all their other garbage). She'd get up early every morning to pick up garbage off the street. However, it's not totally just a western vs eastern thing, as I once knew this guy who'd lived his whole life in Manitoba and then came to my province (Ontario), and he said when he first got here he'd be eating a bag of chips as he walked down the street, and when he was done he'd just toss the bag on the ground, but people gave him dirty looks and yelled at him, so he realized you can't do that here. I can't even imagine tossing garbage - especially plastic garbage - on the street. If there are no garbage cans, you carry it with you until you find one, regardless of the inconvenience. On the other hand, Canada, the US, the UK, and Australia ship a lot of their plastic garbage overseas to places like Malaysia, so....
I think it's just general education. There is recycling but many people don't know how to use them or how it helps the environment (im not sure if this is different in cities). In England I remember while I was growing up there were huge campaigns to get people to stop littering and shame them etc. There are definitely still people that don't care here though. You only have to look at road verges to see how much stuff gets sneakily thrown out the windows. In China I think it's most obvious out of towns/cities
I am surprised, especially because you are English, that you didn't say anything about the lack of queuing. Like, for example, if you leave any sort of a gap in front of the elevator door someone will likely walk right in front of you.
@@EllaScott Perhaps this example provides an opportunity to dive a bit more deeply into Chinese culture. It was explained to me that the reason that this behaviour is not considered rude or inappropriate in China is that there is zero guānxì between me and the stranger who just cut in front of me. Therefore, I am effectively invisible to them. Does that explanation sound right ?
@@kshred3043 haha it's like when you go to the train station and you join a queue of 10 people, but you have to be prepared that you'll probably be 18th to be served as about 8 people will try to jump the queue during the time you wait
@@jdgannonable So true. And, even worse than that, once you finally get to the counter to pick up your tickets (ordered online on CTrip) you discover that you are in a line for purchasing tickets only and that you have to go queue up in a different line to get your tickets printed. I came so close (within a couple of minutes) to missing my train once because of that. I must also confess to cutting in to the front of the line myself on a different occasion when it became clear that I was going to miss the train at the rate that that particular line was moving. No one seemed to mind. In fact, they seemed amused. I think that you can get away with a lot being a wàiguó rén. Then, I discovered that I could pick up tickets at one of numerous the hole in the wall ticket offices that exist outside the train stations. Much more convenient (and stress lowering).
My biggest culture shock in China was how totally safe it felt. I never realized how in my hometown there was always this subtle little undercurrent of violence. Guys acting tough in bars or st dporting events. Even girls in my classes in China commented how they felt totally safe walking home from a bar at 2am.
Disregarding cultural differences for a moment, and thinking only in terms of personal space, I find it rather awkward to be hugged by another person on a first meeting
That was my first reaction - but on listening I came to the conclusion that it was Scott’s use of the word ‘first’ that was the problem. I think he’s talking about a meeting of friends who haven’t seen each other for a while!
3:20 I didn't understand the "Nǐ hǎo ma" bit. Is is that something you said to a Chinese person in Mandarin ? Isn't it common greeting and the equivalent of "hello" or "Hi" in the English speaking world ? Asking because, if not, I fear that I have been doing it wrong all this time. Surprised that you didn't mention "Nǐ chī le ma" ("Have you eaten ?") as a greeting. That certainly threw me for a bit and of course, answers like "yes" or "no" or "not since lunch time" being totally inappropriate. 🙂
Yes, I said it to a native, ni hao ma is how are you, but only asked if you think the other person has something wrong with them. ni hao is hello. Also yes, totally interchangeable with chi fan le ma? Another commenter just taught me this is a phatic question!
@@EllaScott so if you say not yet, would they then offer you food, or is that what makes it a phatic question, your just greeting each other it's not a genuine question , in the sense that you want to offer them food or something like that? I have spent time with Indian people and they will often ask 'have you eaten' also
I remember doing teacher training with a Ugandan in the UK about 15 years ago and after a couple of months he walked in shocked that he had seen people agree to ignore the rules whilst he was waiting in the council offices for a form to be filled out. He'd been brought up to believe such a thing could never happen here, then witnessed it with his own eyes
you've def picked up a chinese twinge on the sh s ch sounds! And i feel like guanxi is most definately a thing here... matt hancocks mate getting the face mask contract etc, unless its more nuanced than that and I missed something?
It's actually pretty rude. Like he valued his own interpretation of their culture over the actual meaning of the custom. "I felt as if I would be buying the woman". Did her parents think they were "selling their daughter"? Pretty disrespectful toward the parents honestly.
I don't belive it's disrespectful since this culture is being reevaluated right now by many modern Chinese people. Her parents' main concern is that we buy a house (which is another topic...). They never bring up the money. They also understand you can't magic a large sum of money out of thin air if it's not in your culture to prepare for it years in advance
@@J1mmyMack It depends on the family and request. I know people who have offered around 5,000 pounds and its been declined because it's not enough and I also know people who have given much more.
How much of the Chinese 'loudness' is an extension or continuation of individual selfishness from the past do you think? Being conscious of other people around you isnt just a polite thing that just us Brits do, it's common across western culture. I'm not saying we're saints, but certainly seems like things like excess noise is generally considered by all to be a selfish behaviour
@@EllaScott So I mean that as in individually, outside of say a family unit, there is very little consideration for others or the environment as a whole (as shown by your shock about trash too). Has this come from China's poorer past and is it changing with younger generations?
@@SimonLX I put this to Ella and she said that there's a divide, usually because of education. Educated people are more likely to be more conscientious and also dislike the loud behaviour. The younger generation are also more aware of this and less likely to be as loud. She thinks that the loudness is in part due to a selfishness of the person playing on their phone or whatever
@@EllaScott you mean at the high end or low end.... like you cant bribe the local police or you cant make a deal to sell saudi oil at a discount like ya cant get a job at a place basically coz ya dad / family work there or ya cant buy a football club and pay no attention to financial fair play and buy all the best players and win the premier league or like if ya know the right police ya cant get caught dealing drugs like if ya know the right politicians ya can be the only one to deal certain drugs Corruption is everywhere its just a matter of how accessible it is to people Whether it's better if only a few can access it or the many can is the question like i said its here you just dont know anyone or cant afford it get caught speeding and offer the cop who pulls ya 10 mil in cash you will get away with it might work with 1000 or 10000 do you mean you cant make a single move without permission from someone in which case that make china a slave / prison camp in all but name. the real question i have is how many people in china are a grass / snich because that is what allows you to combat corruption if no one tells no one gets caught
@@darrylbrookes2780 All those things totally happen in UK, my meaning is they are more widespread and there are more opportunities for the common person in China to benefit from. I have no idea about people reporting others!
@@EllaScott arh got ya my thinking is do you think its better to have more widespread corruption and it be more accessible . or less widespread corruption where for the most part people know the rules and follow them in my opinion there is corruption in the uk at the top middle and bottom of society like i said in my first post you just don't know anyone (ya a nice boy) ever heard the phrase "its who ya know not what ya know" as far as being widespread i have no way to compare so i gotta think you're right on that but if you live in a village in kent or an estate in south london or a former coal mining town in the north experiences will be different class exists in the uk and if youre working clsss "gangsters" or "family" might be the way you access corruption if your middle class it might be the "housesing association" or the "bank" or "local council" Police are just ever so better to you because of your post code which pays more council tax to local government uppre class people will have money and because of that "lawyer" this lets them bend many laws in their favour I suppose I'm thinking china might have more social mobility but maybe not maybe its just not frowned upon and more respected if you crawled from the gutter to achieve. anyways sorry for the rant it was mostly uncalled for and even I am not sure what level of corruption is good or bad or if its even good or bad in itself just writing this has helped me understand a few things so thanks dude also enjoy as much of life as ya can keep it up and carry on
@@darrylbrookes2780 I think it's a really interesting topic. There are instances in China where if you don't know someone who can vouch for you fundamental things like retrieving a lost hukou (record of family births) can become extremely difficult or impossible which would limit you from certain basic things in China. ID cards represent whether you are a "rural" or "city" person. This creates some divides which aren't dissimilar from our class system in England and can definitely be overcome with who you know. I think corruption at the top end influences politics far too much. Corruption at the bottom end seems to inconvenience the ordinary person more than it assists them though if pushed I'd probably still say high-end corruption has a greater negative impact. The costs of things like not being able to get your kids out of a misdemeanour vs the entire country being dragged through unviable political policies seems weighted towards high-end corruption having more effect. Yeah - thanks for sharing your thoughts. You definitely got me thinking too!
Guan xi is rare in the UK? Have you not seen our politicians at work young man???? They have already taken it to the next level! And as for us more basic mortals - you could say that plenty of families were able to get others from their own family, or relatives into where they worked, and usually without any interview being required - (depending upon how the main said employee was regarded already!) - even if they were not qualified or didn't have the aptitude for doing whatever it was. That by the way was just called, through having "family ties" . . . I also wasn't sure if you'd just got out of bed and then done the video right away, Scott - or if you just preferred the windswept look? As it only takes a couple of minutes at most to use a comb you know - lol . . . You are an enjoable couple though - so keep it up!
Having gone to a private school I would say the "old boys' network" is very much alive, in the UK you can easily get a guaranteed job or contract based on who you know and your relationship with them. Look at what is going on in government now with Cash for peerages and PPE and other Covid related contracts rewarded only based on who you know. I have never been to China so cannot comment on what that is like, but I think the difference is more how it is perceived and openly it happens. In the UK we pretend these things don't happen and they are seen as corruption and/or “the old boys network” which is not viewed well. I think in China and I could be wrong it perceived as not such a bad thing and it a more accepted fact of doing business. I am sure the Tory government would like that to be the case in the UK. Influence and connections are very much a thing in the UK, I mean we have a PM who despite being fired from his job for lying and agreeing to help his friend assault a journalist still became our PM. That does not happen without connections, and I don't think it is random that so many high up people in goverment went to Eton and/or where members of the Bullingdon club at oxford. I guess the other thing in this country is you need to keep the foreign billionaires who own our press onboard, they have more influence the the actual goverment, in China the goverment has a lot of control over the media. p.s Loved the video, was glad to find this channel, is always fun to get insights into other cultures. Just felt you are possibly being slightly naive to how much connections play a part in what you have access to in the UK (indeed the only easy way to get PPE contracts during Covid was to have access to the VIP lane, many established companies depite not having shortages of PPE were over looked as they do not have the connections in goverment inews.co.uk/news/covid-ppe-contracts-government-companies-sleaze-row-1308725). Speaking personally every job I have ever got was via connections from school, friends or family, I was at least qualified for the jobs and have always worked hard but I do not think it is fair system I have benefited from.
@@James-H84 its nice that when people have benefited from such privileges they can recognise it. It won't end the unfairness in the system here on its own, but it needs to be honestly spoken about to let us change that.
Got a culture shock of your own to share? 👇😄
We absolutely have guanxi in the UK, it just doesn't have a name, it has a saying instead: "It's not what you know, it's who you know."
@@disquietawe In hindsight, I explained this badly in this film. The levels of guanxi and what you can achieve with it are different in China
thanks Ella and Scott for making these videos and sharing your honest views on cultures whilst still being very sensitive and polite around the topic. Loving your culture-related videos :)
Thanks CK! I think it's a fine line between being true to yourself and respectful of the other culture :)
Good video Scott. I agree wholeheartedly with some of them. I first arrived in China in 2006, the traffic, and the rubbish was about 10x worse than in Yangshuo.
A positive culture shock: How people you know will go out of their way to help you. I went to Sanya, and a colleague arranged his friend to collect me at the bus station and then drive me to my hotel. Going beyond the call of duty there. Opposing that is the lack of help that can be on display from people you dont know. I was also frequently told NOT to help strangers, as they could possibly blame me for their loss, fall or inconvenience.
Students and studying. I was very shocked to see students openly sleeping in classrooms during lessons, ignoring the teacher, or doing maths homework during an English class etc. That was a big shocker for me.
Language culture shocks: Everyone asking me if I'd had lunch / dinner / breakfast. It made me very uncomfortable at first as if I said "not yet", I expected to be asked to join them and I didnt want to keep refusing invitations. Later I learnt this was just a greeting.
Another language one: Being told I was handsome so often, and being asked for my QQ or telephone number so often. I thought people were flirting with me or hoping to date me.
Work culture surprised me too. Many of my Chinese friends work in offices, and they work very long hours, but mostly, or often, they arent doing anything. When I worked in a middle school, my Chinese colleagues had to be at school all day, but they only taught 2 or 3 lessons.
A positive culture shock to finish: How happy, content people generally appear, and how often people smile and laugh. For that reason, my friend circles in China were almost always with Chinese people. The optimism was refreshing.
Ooooh, a weather culture shock too. I started in Hainan. Hottest most uncomfortable summer I've ever experienced. In 2009, I arrived in YS in December. It felt the coldest place Id ever been in, even though the temperatures were not extreme. Oct 2009 I hiked Kilimanjaro, but my mountain trek gear was not warm enough for YS winter. (BJ was better due to central heating)
Positive fact again: I never felt alone in China. A very nice cultural difference is it is quite easy to meet people and make friends in China, and that isnt easy to do as an 'outsider' in the UK
This is a great list Nick! I shared many of these, the asking about food and being called handsome both made me chuckle to myself. Amazing how long it can take to work some things out that seem obvious in hindsight. The school-related one is news to me and surprising (though not unbelievable). Yangshuo winters are brutal! Thanks for sharing, Scott
@@EllaScott Here is another interesting culture difference story as well.
In 2013, on my 3rd trip back to YS, I took a friend with me. It was his first time to travel anywhere other than on a package holiday to Spain.
I stayed at OMD, he stayed at a hotel Odar owned, which has been repurposed now as student accom. We arrived at 6pm, I took him to his hotel and said I'd collect him at 7pm for dinner.
When I came back, he was physically shaken and said he couldnt stay there because of the bathroom. He had never seen a squat before, and couldnt find the flush. He was trying to 'clean' his WC with the weak water stream from his shower. I naturally showed him the flush.
This wild panic continued at almost every encounter. He hated the food. He couldn't cope with crossing the road. He babbled with slang and colliquial language to students so nobody understood him. He hated the crowds, he was terrified of a local dog and worried about rabies. He couldnt figure out the money and was like a child holding all of it outstretched in his hand for vendors to take. After seeing the traffic he wouldnt hire a bike unless he could hire a cycle helmet .... he basically spent a week in a continual state of agitation and panic attacks, which he invariably attacked me for.
Five days before the end of his 15 night stay, I exploded and couldn't take him anymore. We didn't speak for his last days in YS. His hotel helped him take a taxi to Guilin airport, and we have never seen or spoken since. True story.
Chinese Teacher Tom always used to love to hear a story about my time in YS with Ralph.
Ill send Ella a photo or two 😆
@@nickpellatt What makes the winter in Yangshuo so cold? Is there some strange weather quirk that makes it feel colder than you would expect for the temperature?
Good list btw :)
Was wonderful meeting you and Ella on the boat!! You guys are so lovely to talk to.
Thank you for sharing this excellent content. I think Xav also found it relevant. I laugh so hard where you mentioned 'tomato and eggs' (a Chinese person living overseas or a foreigner living in China will def know what I am talking about ….) .
Loved meeting you guys! Hope we can meet again 😊 Tomato egg is so underrated by Chinese haha
I enjoyed all 3 videos about culture shock, it's very interesting to hear how things which you wouldn't even think anything of, are foreign and done differently in another culture
I think this is a huge part of why traveling is such a powerful learning experience. Glad you enjoyed them - thanks for watching!
@@EllaScott yeah definitely, it really opens your mind in that way, which is great 😁
My daughter was there a few years ago. Her boyfriend and she fell off their moped on a greasy wet road.
A woman came over and proceeded to whack her boyfriend with her umbrella and shout at him for letting my daughter fall on the ground.
They rarely had to stop for red lights because they were obvious foreigners they would always be ushered through by everyone, Police, other drivers, pedestrians.
When they discovered she was Irish and a native English speaker with a business and finance degree she was immediately given (whether she wanted it or not) a job teaching business English.
They were so pleased that they put up a huge shop window poster of her on each street corner window of their office
It said genuine English business lady teacher.
So for 3 or4 months she was a local celebrity everywhere they went in Shenzhen
Great story, too strange to not be true in china
Loved this video. I lived in China for almost 4 years and this video was a massive nostalgia hit. Though I was surprised about your comment about rubbish as I actually found the streets of my city impeccably clean (perhaps because there were street cleaners there practically 24/7).
A huge culture shock for me in China was the way that people behave in public - especially how people shove onto lifts and subways and literally walk into other people and then just carry on as if nothing happened. I really miss the energy of the place though - there's nowhere quite like it. And I loved Yangshuo when I went there in 2017!!
Great that you got to see Yangshuo! The trash I mentioned was an impression from that area, so beautiful and yet rubbish everywhere. It's true there's nowhere quite like China, glad we could bring back some good memories
I'm very intrigued by how you negotiated the difference between friend and relationship. I also prefer the company of women so I'd love to hear more about how you're navigating that.
In a few words, being upfront and respectful but it takes patience and understanding on both sides that took a while to build (and a few trial and errors)
Don't marry someone from a Culture that's too different to yours unless they are super chill and flexible. It just doesn't work long term and resentments build up.
The "dowry" thing. What you didn't elaborate on in the beginning was that the wife is given and therefore "lost" for eternity to the husband and the husband's family. The wife is expected to be a full member of the husband's family. So for annual celebrations she would expect (and her birth family would expect) by default focused on her husband's family. In England that would not be expected at all - rather you'd be much more likely to "take turns" with each family. That's my understanding from my wife's wider family.
This is a great point! I'm sure there's many I've missed.
I'm really enjoying your channel, you both have such a refreshing way of looking at the world - filled with rare integrity.
Think you naqeeb, this is a lovely sentiment
Loving the channel guys! Normally I have no interest watching couples vlogs but you guys are very down to earth and genuine!
I live near a beach and after a sunny day there is absolutely loads of rubbish discarded there, volunteers clean it up very early in the morning.
Hooray for those volunteers!!
Few people know that culture shock is actually much more than a mere cultural difference. Culture shock, as its name shows, is a shock that can cause anxiety, depression, anger, acute weight loss or weight gain etc in individuals.
It's a physical and mental shock.
The words "culture shock" are whatever the majority define them to be. So I think by the very nature of common understanding this phrase encompasses more than you would argue here. But I also don't think it's important to break down the semantics of this concept.
Different people are shocked in different ways. In this way it's a spectrum. I would define a culture shock as the awareness that the society you are currently in functions totally differently from what you are used to: a literal shock to the system, yes.
My 'culture shock' is a tad dull, but it was something that i had no idea about coming from the UK (London, which probably made a difference). I lived in rural France for a few years and i soon realised that when entering a small shop, if i didnt call out 'Bonjour' straight away i would receive really chilly service. Saying Bonjour once i got to the cashier wasnt enough.
This is an interesting phenomenon, was it because you were regarded as impolite or unfriendly if you didn't call out bonjour?
@@EllaScott Yes, they considered it impolite. It isn't the case in larger towns and cities though.
Im really enjoying the films on your other channel - Fragrant Mandarin. So well made and interesting. I urge anyone reading this to go and have a look. You wont be disappointed. PS Lucky Ella & Scott being in Scotland its so beautiful there.
@@EllaScott Yes in France you always start off with Bonjour Monsieur or Bonjour Madame before any interaction with a stranger. French people, at least in the country, tend to wait for the other party to reply with the same before launching into their enquiry, but I am generally paranid that they will take me for a religious nut or beggar and so launch straight into my request.
Really thoughtful and interesting! Feel like I’ve learn a lot about British culture through the comparison 😁
Where did you get that sweater?
It was a gift so I have no idea!
For me the culture shocks staying with my Chinese extended family in Jiangsu and Jilin provinces were:
* hole/gutter in the floor street toilets (inc Hutongs in Beijing)
* at home, everyone is expected to put soiled toilet paper in little bins by the toilet bowl
* the large amount of dishes for everyday home meals
* home cooked dishes are brought out daily until finished
* so many electric mopeds, so few bicycles
* the easy consumption of neat hard liquor at all celebrations
* the wonderful sense of humour when you get to know people
* very deep family bonds. Family (including extended) are much, much more important than friends. It is not normal to put friends before family, ever.
* the high staffing levels (conductors, attendants) on intercity trains, which are smooth and fast. One train had smartly turned out staff, with white gloves, one per carriage!
These are excellent additions!
Its interesting that hugging is only really a thing in Uk from millenial gen onwards. If you had gone round hugging people in the 1970s/80s in Uk you woudl have got equally strange reactions.
There is the "old boys club" still active in the UK, depending on who you know you can most definitely use it to bend custom and minor laws. Is this similar to guanxi?
Yes pretty similar, but much more widespread in China
THIS CHANNEL IS TOO GOOD !!!!!
love watching your videos i take my hat off to pair of you for what you done
Love hearing that - thank you!
English vs Haitian culture shock: Gravity doesn't apply to house-building! My Haitian godson told me over the phone the good news that his parents had started to build their house; they already had the roof up and were saving money to build the walls! 😍😯
As we generally communicate in French - the second language for both of us - I assumed a mis-translation. He was emphatic, however, that the roof was already up and they had started building the walls; and he absolutely could not understand what on earth I was banging on about - that it was impossible to build the roof until you'd built the walls!😮 Indeed, according to him, one could not build a house by making the walls first. I muttered things about Newton, apples, etc, and that the whole thing just wouldn't fly - literally or figuratively.
The topic lasted several phone calls and got quite flabbergasted on both sides; until he sent me a photo. So now I know that a poor farmer's house in the Haitian countryside starts with a stout pole at each corner; you then erect a tin roof as you would for an open-sided barn. If you are "rich", concrete breeze-blocks are subsequently saved up for and bought as and when you can afford them - and thus the walls gradually rise up to meet the roof! 😁😁
NB: Please seriously note that these houses are in NO WAY hurricane-proof unless the builder knits together the corners. They just comprise four flat walls, any or all of which will collapse in a strong wind. I wish I could have had some input into this but by the time I went to visit, it was too late. I was absolutely aghast and told him what would happen. The house, unsurprisingly, collapsed in a hurricane. Thank goodness, nobody was killed. The next house was built with intersecting corners. It's still standing. (There is zero pleasure in being proved right.)
Wow what a great story and fascinating (but potentially disasterous way of building a house). I hope they jave manager to buikd something that can last longer now and does not defy gravity! Thanks for sharing!
Yup, agree with all that. My wife is Chinese (although from Singapore). The Chinese are LOUD especially if from a large family. My wife claims to have three birthdays, Chinese lunar calendar, western calendar on Singapore time and then again a day later on UK time, but I think that is just being greedy. You didn't mention the harrasment by street traders as a non-native when walking down the street.
We went to Guilin and Yangshou on holiday a few years ago and took a boat down the Li river, absolutely stunning scenery, beautiful.
It depends where you go - it's only in tourist areas that you will get asked for things and a simple 不用啦！(bu yong la) usually deters any harassment. Can't say it's a culture shock as this happens in the UK too sometimes :) Funny about your wife's three birthdays - that's a new one for me!
@@EllaScott lived in singapore all my life. The only people who keeps track of their lunar calendar birthdays are those who are over 80. His wife just wants 3 presents from him
I’d say that we do have guangxi in the uk but it’s only for the upper classes
A good way to look at it. It's kind of on a deeper level in China though, like built into the infrastructure
The family tradition and culture had different economic content. In Chinese tradition, the sons are responsibly to take care of the parents for life long, not the daughter, and parents will help the son economically when he get marry. While a daughter get marry, she will put the parents of her husband in the first place, and the husband is supposed to take care of his own parents for life long.
When east meet west, things are changing. I wish both the wife and the husband, love and take care the parents of both side, then althought you have not follow the rule of this culture, but you are fullfilling the core value of this culture.
Another wisdom in this culture is that, if a man working hard for money to get a wife, he will not be reckless, and will be more treasured his wife.
This video was very interesting as while a westerner myself, I come from a different western country in Europe (Greece), and reckognized we actually lean towards the chinese culture in alot of respects as opposed to what was presented as the british one. We too have the concept of guanxi ( Βύσμα ), and we too have a culture where hugging people you are not intimately familiar with would be seen as weird. The concept of having to pay the bride's parents money is (or more accurately was) actually reversed. Up until the 60s, the bride's parents would have to accumulate an inheritance ( προίκα ) that would have to be passed to the groom upon marriage, otherwise the prospects of a girl getting married were slim to none. Thankfully this custom is long gone, but still very interesting to see the complete reversal of it still prospering in a different part of the world. As for national pride, we have it very prevolantly, but only insofar as to our history, heritage, culture and people. We too pretty much slag off the goverment non stop, infact I'd venture to claim even more so than the british. Lastly, traffic is pretty terrible here too and people often drive very irrisponsibly, but to be fair this is always against the rules, which people are often just willing to ignore.
Very interesting that Greece had the opposite and you see many similarities with China. There must be cultures crossing over all over the world!
Noodles are "such a full meal."
Probably a lot lighter than a "full English breakfast" lol
It depends, but se dont eat a full english every day 😁
I think it makes sense to think of noodles like bread. Many people eat toast every day for breakfast.
i love the bit you mentioned where if you go to China you become "part of the team" straight away. Sounds amazing! English people are cold.
It was pretty refreshing, obviously not everyone is like that, same as you get some really lovely strangers in britain
I remember getting really annoyed every time I went swimming. All the men think it's fine to piss in the showers, so one day I squatted down and said I was gonna take a dump. The swimming pool is like the Harbin ski slope. Chaos. Some people are swimming around the edge because they are afraid to go in the middle. Some are doing widths, some are doing lengths. Some even do a diagonal. And then is always some macho man how comes hammering into the shallow end doing his butterfly. The shallow end is full of people just standing around chatting. I tell to go to the cafe if they want to chat. My local pool had seats and tables around the outside where people ate and smoked and watched the foreigner doing lengths.
That is a lot of culture shocks rolled into one venue haha.
Loved my time in China. It was great learning new things and meeting new friends. People are kind and helpful. Even years later I still keep in touch with some of my friends.
That said, there were some pet peeves. Biggest problem was how it isn’t pedestrian friendly in most places. Some places had pavements like bathroom tiles. On a rainy day it’s deadly. Day after a rainy day there was always a visible number of people struggling with an injury because they’d slipped on the wet pavement.
Also motorcycles on the pavement really ticked me off. Especially the electric ones whose faint noise is lost in the background. Always having to be so careful when walking lest I get run over. Honestly motorcyclists ruined what was otherwise a great adventure.
You should try being a cyclist here! I can't get my head around how people in Beijing are so polite and considerate and then cut me off in their cars when I'm in the bike lane!
Speaking from my own experience, the loudness is a combination of how well you have mastered the language being spoken and the social status of the subjects who speak.
If you mastered the language, you would listen in and treat it like some sort of information gathering unless you were hard at work and didn't want to be distracted. If you didn't know the language, then of course it would be an annoying background noise whether you were working or not.
Also, when you perceive you have higher social status than the subjects who are talking, you find them loud. This is most apparent in my work place, a US owned company in China. The Chinese and Filipino work in harmony when English speakers are in charge. The Chinese would tolerate the Filipino who speaks more fluent English and could communicate with the American boss better. But as the amount of English speaking management diminishes being replaced by Chinese, the Chinese begins to complain the Filipino being loud. It's just subconsicous power play.
I think this is a specific example that can't be applied to all walks of life. Some people (Often Ayi's!) are just loud :)
My god what a handsome man, well done Ella !
Similar in some ways to the Japanese. I recall my Japanese girlfriend being embarrassed because I ate ice cream in public, and only children did that.
Hahaha this is brilliantly unexpected. Edit: don't know if its appropriate to laugh but i am
Very short clip about segregated internets...lowkey cryptic.
We also release our films on Chinese social media
Very interesting stuff! What do you think to Chinese politics?
That's a long conversation
I wouldn't say it was a culture shock as such, but it was certainly something of a surprise to be strolling in Shanghai one September morning and hear the air raid sirens start up. It seems they test them once a year, but a little strange if you don't know. Being served sliced chicken, with the slices made through the bone, was a bit of a surprise, and not ideal when you still struggle with chopsticks. Staying in Beijing, Nanjing and Shanghai, and finding Nanjing to be the best place for a night out of the three was unexpected. The fact that virtually all of the scooters in Beijing were electric surprised me. I don't think I've ever seen electric ones outside China.
Yes! Electric scooters everywhere!! The air raid siren must have been a worrying haha
I grew up in Lincolnshire near an RAF bombing range... we also had weekly air raid sirens. They double up as flood warnings.
Thats one big problem I have with China - their nationalism and the people's naive belief that what their government is doing is good. It more and more seems like a force of malevolent badness in the world.
re: the different internet - can people watch these videos in china?
we upload to chinese social media too so yes
He is just too polite to speak anything bad about china xD. Come on!
Actually on Chinese social media many Chinese people were offended, it's a difficult balance between remaining truthful and respectful
@@EllaScott Why am I not surpised...
Where are you in the UK currently?
just got back to wiltshire
A dowry round the world was traditionally paid by the woman's family -almost like a payment in advance to the man's family to clothe, bathe and feed the new member of the household for life -the woman's family sending money and the man's family giving gifts. This was no different in the UK, India, Arabia, China, US back in the day -there is a vestige of this still in the UK/ US of the bride's family paying for the wedding, though these days it's usually split between the families. In China this 'brideprice' also allowed women their own form of inheritance, rather than sons -but as we all know, it was crippling to have too many daughters anywhere in the world and the rates of infanticide must have been catastrophic. They reversed this in China for these reasons -the man's household now paid the money. -Overall this largely disappeared by the 20th Century but still goes on as a modern guise - a bit of a sexist trope imo where the man has to prove he's financially stable as the main breadwinner and can afford to look after a new family. -Despite in modern times the fact both partners can be the 'main' breadwinner and a stay-at-home wife/ mother is increasingly rare in China (more so than the UK, as the grandparents often take on the nanny role). In southern China, traditionally the poorer half, the brideprice is much higher than in Northern China.
"How are you?" is a phatic expression in the UK. A phatic expression means that the phrase serves as a social function as opposed to an actual request for information. I'm guessing "ni hao ma" isn't phatic in China.
Tom Scott made a great little informative video on phatic expressions: ruclips.net/video/eGnH0KAXhCw/видео.html
Cool to know - exactly this! A phatic phras in Chinese would be 'have you eaten yet'? 你吃饭了吗？ (ni chi fan le ma?)
I would just like to agree , When I married my wife in China,we then visited her Dad up in Hunan,, I did not realise I was suppose to offer him money,and because for some reason the ATM did not work (first time in China ever) we nearly had to divorce..After I remember being in a rail station and my wife went crazy about it..Nothing I said made any difference..Food,,, Ho hum I visited a place called Zhangzhou,,and being alone in a hotel ,and wondering what to eat ,I had to wander around the restaurant looking at other people food to see what I fancied,I then got invited to join a table and had a great time..Also we stayed in some place near Zhurhia (Macan} My wife took me to a restaurant early in the morning (I,m thinking goodee "Breakfast") NO Chance it was a full dinner and the place was full with hundreads of people.. Lastly the Chinese are super patriotic but they do,nt know it,, cheers
Is not only chinese culture. Asian gives parents money. So if you married and she don't work, you should took her place to send money.
I think in the UK we definitely have guanxi it's the old school network, jobs for the boys - you just need to look at the current government and know guanxi definitely exists here 😂
Very true. I don't think I explained it well enough - what I meant was that it affects everybody in society and anyone can have guanxi, not just the rich boys
It would be so cool if there was a country that adopted only positive aspects of each country in the world. Wonder what that would be like.
This sounds waaaay too much like utopia to ever happen haha
@@EllaScott yeah but it's a fun thought exercise because you first have to agree on what is 'good/ best' lol
I've really enjoyed your videos, both.
For the "friends who are girls" thing Scott, I believe the Chinese have this right as well. A heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman can not be just good, always platonic, solids friends to a deep level. The level of intimacy required from a non-superficial friendship will cause complications with your wife. And if it's not a deep friendship, why make a big deal about cultivating a 1-1 friendship them, when there are plenty of opportunities to make male friends? I enjoy female company too, but that does not mean they have to be personal friends of mine. At work, in the family, with sports, hobbies, my wife's friends - there are plenty of opportunities to be in the company of women. Once married I was more than happy for all my desire for female friendships to be condensed, perfected and shared with one woman - my wife. No need to compromise. Try it 😉
I appreciate your view, though personally I have had many great female friends that have been entirely platonic - I believe it's possible!
@@EllaScott they don't last! Even friendships have to "go" somewhere, they require cultivating, feeding - so time, effort, expense etc and that's resources I could be spending with my #1 female friend 😉. With my male friends and hobbies I've no time for female friends either. Still everyone has their own way of living and if you can make it work for you both, then great, all power to you 👍. For me, thousands of years of Chinese culture has created a lot of wisdom that just works 😉
@Kiat Well said - if it works for you, then fantastic 😁
yes this channel seems very organic and not at all some ccp backed agitprop
Strongly disagree about national pride. Peeple in the UK *generally* have a very high level of pride in their country but it is the culture to understate it and downplay it publicly so that it does not get in the way or seem brash and rude and so people can focus on the problems and making things better. People are very unafraid to be blunt about their problems and how they want to see them resolved, and that is a type of national pride.
Unfortunately in China this type of criticism is increasingly unwelcome in public settings and blind bullish nationalism, similar to what the UK used to promote a very long time ago and nearly opposite what it is now, is very heavilly pushed. Loving your county is certainly not a bad thing by itself, but one begins to question how genuine that pride is when it lacks that element, or even the ability to, have that introspection about the nation's problems
Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't personally know anyone with national pride (age range 15-50) in the UK. That's people up and down the country, too. Mostly working class though, not sure if that makes a difference
Does China have sufficient places to throw things away or recycle? Is the problem that there isn't easily available garbage disposal (or like you have to pay for it or something), or is it just that people toss stuff anyway? My friend went to Thailand for several months and she was stunned that 1) everybody only drank bottled water and 2) they'd toss the bottles on the ground wherever they happened to be (along with all their other garbage). She'd get up early every morning to pick up garbage off the street. However, it's not totally just a western vs eastern thing, as I once knew this guy who'd lived his whole life in Manitoba and then came to my province (Ontario), and he said when he first got here he'd be eating a bag of chips as he walked down the street, and when he was done he'd just toss the bag on the ground, but people gave him dirty looks and yelled at him, so he realized you can't do that here. I can't even imagine tossing garbage - especially plastic garbage - on the street. If there are no garbage cans, you carry it with you until you find one, regardless of the inconvenience. On the other hand, Canada, the US, the UK, and Australia ship a lot of their plastic garbage overseas to places like Malaysia, so....
I think it's just general education. There is recycling but many people don't know how to use them or how it helps the environment (im not sure if this is different in cities). In England I remember while I was growing up there were huge campaigns to get people to stop littering and shame them etc. There are definitely still people that don't care here though. You only have to look at road verges to see how much stuff gets sneakily thrown out the windows. In China I think it's most obvious out of towns/cities
I am surprised, especially because you are English, that you didn't say anything about the lack of queuing. Like, for example, if you leave any sort of a gap in front of the elevator door someone will likely walk right in front of you.
This was a mini shock for sure, there's way more than just the ones I mentioned here!
@@EllaScott Perhaps this example provides an opportunity to dive a bit more deeply into Chinese culture. It was explained to me that the reason that this behaviour is not considered rude or inappropriate in China is that there is zero guānxì between me and the stranger who just cut in front of me. Therefore, I am effectively invisible to them. Does that explanation sound right ?
@@kshred3043 I put this to Ella but she said it's nothing to do with guanxi. As long as there's no rules about queuing people have no reason to
@@kshred3043 haha it's like when you go to the train station and you join a queue of 10 people, but you have to be prepared that you'll probably be 18th to be served as about 8 people will try to jump the queue during the time you wait
@@jdgannonable So true. And, even worse than that, once you finally get to the counter to pick up your tickets (ordered online on CTrip) you discover that you are in a line for purchasing tickets only and that you have to go queue up in a different line to get your tickets printed. I came so close (within a couple of minutes) to missing my train once because of that. I must also confess to cutting in to the front of the line myself on a different occasion when it became clear that I was going to miss the train at the rate that that particular line was moving. No one seemed to mind. In fact, they seemed amused. I think that you can get away with a lot being a wàiguó rén.
Then, I discovered that I could pick up tickets at one of numerous the hole in the wall ticket offices that exist outside the train stations. Much more convenient (and stress lowering).
My biggest culture shock in China was how totally safe it felt. I never realized how in my hometown there was always this subtle little undercurrent of violence. Guys acting tough in bars or st dporting events. Even girls in my classes in China commented how they felt totally safe walking home from a bar at 2am.
This is very true. The macho/violent culture isn't there in China and its extremely refreshing
@@EllaScott Any idea why that is? What has caused europeans to develop such a culture or the other way round why chinese dont have one?
no, your initial impression was right, you are buying the woman. There is no love in china, marriage is just a business agreement between the parents
Disregarding cultural differences for a moment, and thinking only in terms of personal space, I find it rather awkward to be hugged by another person on a first meeting
That was my first reaction - but on listening I came to the conclusion that it was Scott’s use of the word ‘first’ that was the problem. I think he’s talking about a meeting of friends who haven’t seen each other for a while!
@@mairimaguire227 if it’s friends greeting one another that’s fine. But hugging a new person on a first meeting definitely makes me feel awkward 😂
3:20 I didn't understand the "Nǐ hǎo ma" bit. Is is that something you said to a Chinese person in Mandarin ? Isn't it common greeting and the equivalent of "hello" or "Hi" in the English speaking world ? Asking because, if not, I fear that I have been doing it wrong all this time.
Surprised that you didn't mention "Nǐ chī le ma" ("Have you eaten ?") as a greeting. That certainly threw me for a bit and of course, answers like "yes" or "no" or "not since lunch time" being totally inappropriate. 🙂
Yes, I said it to a native, ni hao ma is how are you, but only asked if you think the other person has something wrong with them. ni hao is hello. Also yes, totally interchangeable with chi fan le ma? Another commenter just taught me this is a phatic question!
@@EllaScott Ah, now I get the distinction. Thanks. And thanks also for introducing me to a new word, 'phatic'. 👍
How are you supposed to reply to the have you eaten question?
@@atideva3385 mostly just I've eaten or not yet
@@EllaScott so if you say not yet, would they then offer you food, or is that what makes it a phatic question, your just greeting each other it's not a genuine question , in the sense that you want to offer them food or something like that? I have spent time with Indian people and they will often ask 'have you eaten' also
Scott, the whole world has guan xi to some degree. Including England. I've personally seen it in action in your own country (and benefited from it)!
True, but it is more embedded in the culture in China :)
I remember doing teacher training with a Ugandan in the UK about 15 years ago and after a couple of months he walked in shocked that he had seen people agree to ignore the rules whilst he was waiting in the council offices for a form to be filled out. He'd been brought up to believe such a thing could never happen here, then witnessed it with his own eyes
But i thought Ella said Chinese don't waste chicen bones?
you've def picked up a chinese twinge on the sh s ch sounds!
And i feel like guanxi is most definately a thing here... matt hancocks mate getting the face mask contract etc, unless its more nuanced than that and I missed something?
Yes basically its a deeper cultural phenomenon in China
That's interesting that you chose not to give her parents money and told them you weren't going to!
It's actually pretty rude. Like he valued his own interpretation of their culture over the actual meaning of the custom. "I felt as if I would be buying the woman". Did her parents think they were "selling their daughter"? Pretty disrespectful toward the parents honestly.
I don't belive it's disrespectful since this culture is being reevaluated right now by many modern Chinese people. Her parents' main concern is that we buy a house (which is another topic...). They
never bring up the money. They also understand you can't magic a large sum of money out of thin air if it's not in your culture to prepare for it years in advance
@@EllaScott How much money would it be?
@@J1mmyMack It depends on the family and request. I know people who have offered around 5,000 pounds and its been declined because it's not enough and I also know people who have given much more.
@@EllaScott I suppose you at least get some of it back in wedding gifts!
How much of the Chinese 'loudness' is an extension or continuation of individual selfishness from the past do you think?
Being conscious of other people around you isnt just a polite thing that just us Brits do, it's common across western culture. I'm not saying we're saints, but certainly seems like things like excess noise is generally considered by all to be a selfish behaviour
Not sure exactly what you mean by individual selfishness?
@@EllaScott So I mean that as in individually, outside of say a family unit, there is very little consideration for others or the environment as a whole (as shown by your shock about trash too).
Has this come from China's poorer past and is it changing with younger generations?
@@SimonLX I put this to Ella and she said that there's a divide, usually because of education. Educated people are more likely to be more conscientious and also dislike the loud behaviour. The younger generation are also more aware of this and less likely to be as loud. She thinks that the loudness is in part due to a selfishness of the person playing on their phone or whatever
guanxi is in the uk mate lol
you just dont know anyone yet
lol
Not the same level at all!
@@EllaScott you mean at the high end or low end....
like you cant bribe the local police
or you cant make a deal to sell saudi oil at a discount
like ya cant get a job at a place basically coz ya dad / family work there
or ya cant buy a football club and pay no attention to financial fair play and buy all the best players and win the premier league
or
like if ya know the right police ya cant get caught dealing drugs
like if ya know the right politicians ya can be the only one to deal certain drugs
Corruption is everywhere its just a matter of how accessible it is to people
Whether it's better if only a few can access it or the many can is the question
like i said its here you just dont know anyone or cant afford it
get caught speeding and offer the cop who pulls ya 10 mil in cash
you will get away with it
might work with 1000 or 10000
do you mean you cant make a single move without permission from someone
in which case that make china a slave / prison camp in all but name.
the real question i have is how many people in china are a grass / snich
because that is what allows you to combat corruption
if no one tells no one gets caught
@@darrylbrookes2780 All those things totally happen in UK, my meaning is they are more widespread and there are more opportunities for the common person in China to benefit from. I have no idea about people reporting others!
@@EllaScott arh got ya
my thinking is
do you think its better to have more widespread corruption and it be more accessible .
or
less widespread corruption where for the most part people know the rules and follow them
in my opinion there is corruption in the uk at the top middle and bottom of society like i said in my first post you just don't know anyone (ya a nice boy)
ever heard the phrase "its who ya know not what ya know"
as far as being widespread i have no way to compare so i gotta think you're right on that
but if you live in a village in kent or an estate in south london or a former coal mining town in the north
experiences will be different
class exists in the uk and if youre working clsss "gangsters" or "family" might be the way you access corruption
if your middle class it might be the "housesing association" or the "bank" or "local council"
Police are just ever so better to you because of your post code which pays more council tax to local government
uppre class people will have money and because of that "lawyer" this lets them bend many laws in their favour
I suppose I'm thinking china might have more social mobility but maybe not maybe its just not frowned upon and more respected if you crawled from the gutter to achieve.
anyways sorry for the rant it was mostly uncalled for
and even I am not sure what level of corruption is good or bad or if its even good or bad in itself
just writing this has helped me understand a few things so thanks dude
also enjoy as much of life as ya can keep it up and carry on
@@darrylbrookes2780 I think it's a really interesting topic. There are instances in China where if you don't know someone who can vouch for you fundamental things like retrieving a lost hukou (record of family births) can become extremely difficult or impossible which would limit you from certain basic things in China. ID cards represent whether you are a "rural" or "city" person. This creates some divides which aren't dissimilar from our class system in England and can definitely be overcome with who you know.
I think corruption at the top end influences politics far too much. Corruption at the bottom end seems to inconvenience the ordinary person more than it assists them though if pushed I'd probably still say high-end corruption has a greater negative impact.
The costs of things like not being able to get your kids out of a misdemeanour vs the entire country being dragged through unviable political policies seems weighted towards high-end corruption having more effect.
Yeah - thanks for sharing your thoughts. You definitely got me thinking too!
Why do I feel like I've seen this guy in a show before
Guanxi sounds like nepotism.
thats part of it
4:38 yeah, communism and super propaganda will do that to a population!
Guan xi is rare in the UK? Have you not seen our politicians at work young man???? They have already taken it to the next level! And as for us more basic mortals - you could say that plenty of families were able to get others from their own family, or relatives into where they worked, and usually without any interview being required - (depending upon how the main said employee was regarded already!) - even if they were not qualified or didn't have the aptitude for doing whatever it was. That by the way was just called, through having "family ties" . . .
I also wasn't sure if you'd just got out of bed and then done the video right away, Scott - or if you just preferred the windswept look? As it only takes a couple of minutes at most to use a comb you know - lol . . . You are an enjoable couple though - so keep it up!
I think it's on a different level in China! Also, I don't think I've ever used a comb before..!
Having gone to a private school I would say the "old boys' network" is very much alive, in the UK you can easily get a guaranteed job or contract based on who you know and your relationship with them. Look at what is going on in government now with Cash for peerages and PPE and other Covid related contracts rewarded only based on who you know. I have never been to China so cannot comment on what that is like, but I think the difference is more how it is perceived and openly it happens. In the UK we pretend these things don't happen and they are seen as corruption and/or “the old boys network” which is not viewed well. I think in China and I could be wrong it perceived as not such a bad thing and it a more accepted fact of doing business. I am sure the Tory government would like that to be the case in the UK. Influence and connections are very much a thing in the UK, I mean we have a PM who despite being fired from his job for lying and agreeing to help his friend assault a journalist still became our PM. That does not happen without connections, and I don't think it is random that so many high up people in goverment went to Eton and/or where members of the Bullingdon club at oxford. I guess the other thing in this country is you need to keep the foreign billionaires who own our press onboard, they have more influence the the actual goverment, in China the goverment has a lot of control over the media.
p.s Loved the video, was glad to find this channel, is always fun to get insights into other cultures. Just felt you are possibly being slightly naive to how much connections play a part in what you have access to in the UK (indeed the only easy way to get PPE contracts during Covid was to have access to the VIP lane, many established companies depite not having shortages of PPE were over looked as they do not have the connections in goverment inews.co.uk/news/covid-ppe-contracts-government-companies-sleaze-row-1308725). Speaking personally every job I have ever got was via connections from school, friends or family, I was at least qualified for the jobs and have always worked hard but I do not think it is fair system I have benefited from.
@@James-H84 its nice that when people have benefited from such privileges they can recognise it. It won't end the unfairness in the system here on its own, but it needs to be honestly spoken about to let us change that.
People taking dumps in the street
What;'s wrong with your accent?
Awesome, thanks!