Could You Be Making Up Your Eating Disorder?
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- I get questions like this each and every day. Kati, could I have made up my depression? Anxiety? Maybe I am just faking my panic attacks? Am I just self injuring for attention? Making up my pain? And this question.. Could I have made up my ED? Now the truth is, yes we can do certain things for attention. We could self injure once hoping we get caught, or act like we are struggling with some eating disorder behavior hoping that someone will notice and want to help. And sure in a way because our eating disorder or self injury urges are coping skills, our brain did make them up… as a way to cope. But none of those things make our pain or upset any less or our struggle any less valid.
When we use our eating disorder we are doing that to cope with something else going on. Something much more difficult, something maybe we can’t really talk about or even recognize yet. So our eating disorder isn’t really what our issue is.. It’s just hiding it.
But to really answer this question, no you didn’t make up your ED. Everyone would agree that having an eating disorder is the worst.. It makes us feel terrible about ourselves and who we are, we can’t ever be sick enough, it makes us feel so sick and full sometimes, and we could even find ourselves competing with someone else for no prize at all.
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A lot of people who have an eating disorder and think they’re faking it feel like they aren’t “sick” enough to get help. Meaning they’re not underweight and they don’t look like they’re dying. This is something that I have struggled for years.
I agree like even when I tried to get help insurance told me I wasn’t sick enough for them to help
Marina Bundalo the system is so fucked up tbh
Ruby Nuñez omg i feel same... Lately i stopped tryimg to follow any diet and ive been binging much less, but i still generaly eat very un healty and much still. Now i just feel like im just lazy bastard, but all the way of thinking and diet hatimg behaviors are still there,,,,,, i feel like i dont deserve fysical treatment even tho i know it would help
Yes I am 29.5kg and that's "underweight" but I see fat
Sayori chan how old are you?
I'll be honest, I was really nervous to click on this one. It's one of those things that's always the back of my head because I don't "look" like I struggle with it. I know people that have had much more dramatic experiences through rehab, etc. But this made me feel better and valid with my personal recovery and not like I'm an attention grabbing liar.
Bunny Ann Same here. Trust me this was one of the worst fear i ever had.
Ikr? I haven't had an active ed for like at least a few years and now I'm like did that really happen,? Maybe I just made it up
I was nervous as well
Oh, YES ED"s are so competitive. I hate that!! Thank you, Kati
It's the worst!! So glad you liked the video :) xoxo
Thank you for this. I always feel like I'm being "dramatic" about my ed.
The way you use the phrases "we" "our". It's comforting to hear over "you"
THIS
That’s the point. That’s why she uses that language.
Kati, you're a light in this world. Thanks you so much
Awe xoxo
Idk why anyone would want to make up that they have an eating disorder... Like the f.... Having an ed is not fun nor cute and very stressful
Because they feel its the only way to get the attention and help they need
Agreed! xox
Sometimes people use a phrase like "making up an eating disorder" not because it's true, but because we don't have the words (or courage!) to express what we really mean.
For example, when I'm stressed, I have no appetite. Once when I was in a high stress time of my life, there were days I was only eating one meal a day... and that's because my family ate dinner together and I didn't want the attention not eating would bring. The difference was, I wasn't "locked in" to those behaviors like someone with an eating disorder. I could eat any time I wanted, I just lost the desire to for a while. (I was also dealing with anhedonia from depression.) From the outside, if you didn't know what was going on, you might think I was "making up an eating disorder," when in actuality, it was stress and anhedonia. But I didn't even KNOW the word anhedonia back then, and definately didn't have the courage and understanding to put my depression, anxiety, and stress into words.
I am ASHAMED of having an eating disorder and am mortified when people have found out and Most people with EDs are. I can’t imagine willingly telling someone about my condition.
Eating disorder can be very secret and you do your best to hide it. You can have it for 20 years and nobody will never notice/know.
Why aren’t this videos monetizable ? Really I have no idea
I have been told that eating disorders isn't a topic that monetizable because advertisers aren't comfortable with it.. :/
@@Katimorton :( on the one hand, I can see the point but also like people need to know this stuff
People could be really triggered by it, and viewers don’t wanna watch it, so advertisers don’t want to support triggering topics like this one 😊
@@Benni777 but they can put loads of money in abuse, drinking, anti smoking commercials? Okay lmao
At the very least these videos are educational and people can learn something and get the facts right ... as to me, I think it is way better to advertise this content rather than not making people aware about ed and letting them found out through places like proana and promia, as I sadly did back when I was starting highschool. Because of it I went through hell and back, thus I was so happy to find your channel years ago. You really helped a lot.
I've been looking for someone who sees stuff from this perspective. I can't count how many times friends, family, others and even professionals told me I'm ' faking it' or 'attention seeking'. We need more Kati Mortons in this world 😂
I am so glad this video was just what you needed :) xoxo
Couldn't agree more!
Yo yo a PROFESSIONAL telling you you're faking it!?!?
@@moist_spinach They tend to do that in my health authority. Health vs mental helath is super misunderstood and most workers seem to believe if you don’t have an excess of blood coming out of you in unusual places, you’re fine 🙄
@@chihuahuabently95 😤smh
1am yesterday after eating popcorn at with no care in the world, feeling great, theres no way I have an ED... *20 minutes later* feeling horrendous and convinced I had gained 20kg 😣 why would anyone choose to feel like this??!!
My point exactly.. and I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. xoxo I hope you are getting the support you need and deserve :) xoxo
Hugs!
I do this all the time. It's an obsession. You eat something then feel guilty that you did.
@@Broadysword that's how i felt with pizza i like couldn't stop when i ate fast then rushed to the bathroom
i don’t understand my e.d. anymore
Same
I'm so glad you did this video. This can apply to so many things that we do to cope that other people can see as "trying to get attention." Before I got to a healthier place, I did so many bad things to cope - drugs, alcohol, eating disorders and self-harm. No one wanted to hear why. It was always just "get over it" and "stop seeking attention". Thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting this message out. It needs to be heard.
I am so glad this was helpful!! And I agree.. there are so many misconceptions and so much stigma. Always happy to get the positive message out :) xoxo
@@Katimorton
I was hanging out with teenagers and half of the girls were on some kind of a very restrictive diet and I totally get it. We are (especially women) constantly judged on our appearance and even pretending you have an eating disorder can make you look "cool" in the company of other girls who are restricting their calories.
Kati I absolutely love every one of your videos. As a teen who's spent the last year in an inpatient facility, I find your way of talking really soothing (?) in that you don't make everything super clinical and scary. The way you approach problems that tons of people have without harshness but with a huge amount of genuine understanding and compassion is sorta liberating because you're validating everything that people hate with regards to themselves. I started watching your videos a year ago, when I was hiding the fact that I was clinically depressed and self harming, and I still have the same comfort when I come onto your channel. Huge amount of gratefulness and support from over here. -Emily
ps my psychologist and psychiatrist both love you as well
I liked this video. Good topic.
Question: Is it possible to diet in a normal way after an eating disorder?
I have over a decade history of Anorexia. I want/need to lose weight to get to a healthy weight now after 2 years "recovered", but my brain immediately wants to go to ED behaviors when I try.
berf Kati answers a similar question in one of her FAQ videos!
ruclips.net/video/Cqv24LOXtlw/видео.html
I don't have an eating disorder. But I relate to this so much...sometimes when I have a relapse with self-harm, I want someone to see it, mostly my therapist (not just a random friend of course). Recently, I have been a lot more isolated and refuse to tell anyone if I'm not doing well. I had therapy yesterday and I didn't even realize how much I was holding in. I also think that I'm making up this thing that happened when I was 5 and a boy who had serious issues "touched" me when I had very little communication skills due to my processing disorder. This stuff isn't easy. But we gotta remember that our pain is always valid and matter. And I also wish I could believe that myself :/
Kati you would make a podcast about all of this stuff!! it would be awesome to hear while flying, driving long distances, or even eating. keep it up 🥰
Yeah totally! Technically I "made up" my past self harm issues and ed issues! it started from somewhere. At first for me it was for attention! It then snowballed and became more of a secretive thing but either way whatever you're dealing with in whatever way, YOUR STRUGGLE IS VALID and you are an AMAZING human being that deserves help and love
Same. At first it was to get someone to talk to me or be there to help. But then it turned into something that became so uncontrollable that it’s turning into a life altering thing. Just because you needed help with another issue.
I’ll never understand why youtube doesn’t think mental health awareness videos, such as one about EDs, should be monetized :/
Even after being in ediop treatment for over a year and being sent to residential for a month, i still often think I'm making everything up
Lauren Allison That might be depersonalization.
@@foxiefair123 what's that
Thank u kati. I needed this the most. Me and my therapist was just talking about this yesterday. I am writing in my journal right now. It brought me to tears because everything you were talking about is what I went through as a kid. Really touched on some sensitive stuff. Thank u.
Awe I am so glad the video was helpful and what you needed to hear :) xoxo
@@Katimorton It really does help. I wish I could see u as my eating disorder therapist. You have helped me out so much with everything.
I feel like I'm faking it but I dont want anyone to notice and i dont want anyone to know about this, could i still be faking it? I feel like im not doing enough to stop but i also dont have the energy want nor willpower to?
you remind me of myself a few years ago. Yes it's very possible that you have an ed. Your ed voice is just telling you that you are not "bad enough to have an ed" etc. Journaling was a very good step for me. After writing down my thoughts and months of doing so I opened up to friend and it get so much easier when you have someone who just listens to you
Not sure if you’ve seen but there’s an article going round related to ARFID, a child has gone blind and deaf due to living mainly on chips etc, could you go into ARFID more? I struggle with diet but I’m not sure if it’s ARFID or whether I’ve just learnt my parents diet
I really wish Eugenia Cooney could see that she is numbing some underlying pain and hurt. After watching this I feel differently about her and why she may be still struggling so much😔
You Katie are so full of compassion and understanding, you heal with your heart, you may have no idea yet how much Good you are doing through this videos, God bless you.
I literally JUST started therapy for my eating disorder and anxiety and just talked to my therapist about this 2 hours ago! Thank you for this video. Your channel is so valuable for those who can't afford therapy. I'm so upset that it can't be monetized. Thank you Kati for sharing these videos.
Maybe you can do a video outside the box.
It may be unorthodox but it’s a real answer we all want (with BPD) for some reason you are the only person without BPD I can listen to and not get annoyed.
Anyways, how common is it for a demonic entity to enter you while you are switching (pycosis) or as some night say (defense mechanism) ?
This is a real thing. We all need answers.
🙏🏻
M Warz I’m not Kati, but I have BPD and I would recommend looking into Internal Family Systems (IFS )therapy to see if the way the model describes the self and our inner systems can give you some answers.
KP28 thanks
This was so damn needed. It’s the question that has been in my mind for ages, so thank you for making this much clearer
This. This is perfect. I started SI when I was 13, and got shamed because everyone else told me I was only doing it for attention. That was honestly worse than the SI itself. It's validating to hear someone with sense on these issues.
Thank you, I’m so glad I found this video, I’m only 13 and this really helped me start to understand why I would self harm and sometimes would inconsistently starve myself and/or purge. I didn’t feel like I was doing it for any real reason besides attention and didn’t realize what a problem it was until recently. I’ve started talking to my parents about it, and I’ll be starting therapy soon, and I’m really glad I’m starting to find the reason why I do and feel these sort of things. Thank you so much Kati.
Kati Morton can get it any day of the week. On a more serious note I think people can do things for attention but what we shouldn’t do is tell people that they are faking if they claim they aren’t.
There’s no way for you to determine whether or not someone who claims to be depressed is actually depressed so we should just assume that they are telling the truth. Because if we mistakingly tell someone who’s actually depressed that they are faking it can cause harm to them and they won’t get help.
i reach out and to my family its some kind of joke .. so i dont bother anymore
Désirée Allen don’t give up!!!!! ❤️
Hi Katie, thanks for your video, it comes at a perfect time! My psychologist explained to me that I am dissociating and a part of me is relapsing into anorexia even if my rational part know I should avoid that and She’s doing that to protect me from certain feeling. it makes sense? I’m just confused at the moment but hope I can manage it 💪🏻
greta I’m going through the exact same thing with my bulimia & dissociating. I’m not even binging, it’s a compulsion. thanks for sharing, makes me feel less alone
This is true, I'm 29.5kg and I feel no where near sick. I've been hiding it for so long I'm to scared to talk to anyone. My physicist doesn't even know. My parent's fight and I don't know my dad he does drugs and my mom smokes.
I truly and deeply, admire your kindness ❤️ You never shame and you’re always sooo gentle when talking about these things. Thank you for that 😊 I struggle a lot with the thoughts that I’m making this up, I’m not sick enough, thin enough and that I eat too much to have an ED....you soothe my mind and make some of these thoughts less troublesome ❤️❤️❤️
OMG - There's my name in the opening credits. I"M FAMOUS!!!! 😂😂😂
Thank you for being here! 🙌🙌🙌
Guiding Echoes 🤩
I strongly agree with you. I have a friend who felt too skinny and was terrified of getting an eating disorder she told me and some one friends everyone thought she was doing it for attention. I never because I'll support my friends no matter what. So everyday I would give her money to get extra food from the shop. Extra lunch if I didnt want mine ect. And she now weighs a healthy amount and now I feel amazing that I helped someone. Always help someone in need it could pay off becuase you have the amazing feeling of when you help someone and you might have stopped an illness and even if they weren't gonna get one. It doesn't matter because that person should be forever grateful.
Verry nice! Ths
Hey, so my younger sister when she tries to sleep she is scared to because she thinks of my mom dieing and then she comes to me or my mom and starts crying, is there something that can help that?
ED videos aren’t monitisable?! That’s ridiculous. Thank you for still making them, Kati.
I often feel like I’m not ill enough and don’t deserve the treatment I’m getting because there are other people out there who need it more than me. Even though my bmi is “severely low” and it’s effecting my everyday life, I feel like I’m robbing other patients of time with the specialists, and because I’m not ready to change, I feel like I’m wasting their time.
It is super annoying, but I will keep talking about them anyways :) Sounds like your struggle is more about self worth and knowing that you are worthy of care and support. Maybe bring that up in therapy and see if that helps you move past this tough patch. xoxo
Kati Morton thank you so much. Your channel and your insight means the absolute world to me xoxo
Lauran220193 yet unhealthy muk bangs by the obese are. Ridiculous!
Strawberry Cat right?! How dare people upload helpful, educational content 🙄
Could you talk about something like becoming more independent when affected by Dependent personality disorder or something like that? I love you and your videos! Good luck with your crazy month!!
I NEED THAT SHIRT! Where did you get it??
A probably eBay! 😹
Hi Kati! I just discovered your channel, and I love everything about it! I have struggled for about a year with an ED. I was a dancer and I would compete my body with other people, and restrict my eating. Where I live we don’t have very many specialists:( I’m so sick of feeling guilty and gross every time I eat. What should I do?
I don't have eating disorders, but for my other mental illnesses I think everyday that I'm faking them. I think it's because I don't feel sick enought. I'm capable of living alone, I have a job and I go to work, so I can't be ill enought to have a mental illness, right? With my psychologist we talked about it and I know that I AM ill, I DO have mental illess and I can do the things I do just because I have exellent cooping skills, but I still feel like I'm faking when I read comments of other people that have it worst than me.
Hakumei Chan you might find this video helpful! ruclips.net/video/jABdK4-TGrY/видео.html
This needs to stop. You're convincing people with eating disorders that they don't have it. An eating disorder is serious!!!!
This needs to stop. You're convincing people with eating disorders that they don't have it. An eating disorder is serious!!!!
As self-harm and eating disorders are easier notice than internal, mental disorder, people sometimes use these things as a cry for help. Personally when I’m unwell mentally, I may eat usually.
what do you call people who arenr dieting becuz not theyre anorexic but just want to go on periods of "fasts" where they eat littke food or drinks to loose weight either to save money or to shed pounds andd it works for them.?
I think "I just got anorexic" but idk HELP please
I’m not sure if I have an eating disorder but my friend said I do. How can I tell if I have an eating disorder?
Kati, I LOVE this video!! SO MUCH!! I’m starting to see an eating disorder specialist soon and I’m glad I’m taking this step. But I feel really validated when you mentioned that if you do something for attention it’s because your hurting. I don’t have my eating disorder for attention, but I did at first start cutting for attention. Near the end I wasn’t cutting for attention anymore and was hiding it. But that’s besides the point, because I’m recovered from self injury!
I have BED and my weight is humiliating. I'm trying to take better care of myself like exercise, sleep well, and find a way to manage my emotions without food. That coping mechanism is almost impossible to break. It's embarassing, stressful, and life-altering. I feel ashamed of myself. I feel out of control. I feel like I don't have a future. I feel like success is for "better" people. These and so many other feelings are things that I'm trying desperately to halt and change.
Hi Kati , Thanks for the video . Informative , but I don`t think I could ever will myself to have a panic attack , or insomnia !! :(
I can see how some might think I am over exaggerating , or just blowing things up , I get that. What I don`t get is why I only made one cup of coffee at 3 am !! Misery + company :) LOL + :) , Take care , have super weekend , Gary XOXO
I definitely think it's possible, Kati. Back in 2016, my eating disorder was slowly pulling me away from this world. I was about 615 lbs, and really didn't care about much at all. Today, I've dropped about 150 lbs (but still need to loose much more). I'm not an analyst or anything, but I believe my problems have to do with feelings of rejection. As long as I can remember, I have had a very difficult time fitting in with people (no matter how hard I tried). In fact, I think sometimes I would even try too hard, and make myself look like an ass. This would then cause me to feel shame and embarrassment, which would lead to overeating. I still have these emotional issues, but instead of eating, I like to write. When I write, my inner therapist comes out, and helps me problem solve my emotions. Sometimes just a little meditation is also very helpful. Thank You for the thoughtful video.
Dear kati i have difficulties communicating with my loved ones every time I tried talking to them the worstest stuck and I don't know how to properly express myself I feel like yelling and crying but I don't know how to say how I'm feeling it's difficult I'm trying to tell them that I'm going through things I always feel like I'm holding back it's also feels like I'm holding back in therapy and I don't know why or how to stop it can you please tell me how
Lietza Velez Kati already has a few great videos on this that I’ll link below! ruclips.net/video/nQYdqAuoDko/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/wZ60mGovDzU/видео.html
What makes eating disorder education less monetizable than any other disorder? Talk about stigmatizing policies....
Can you do a video on how to deal with divorce on the kids behalf
If people are hurting for attention...
Maybe it's because they feel it's the only way to get help.
So talk to them and let them know it's ok to talk to you.
If it's happening, it's not made up. I promise you.
I over shared with my friend about how I was feeling and my weight loss behaviours and they told me everyone feels like that and it’s crazy that a therapist told me to see a gp :/
If autism is just a difference, then what are the problems that neurotypicals face as individuals that autistic people do not struggle with, and not how they act towards autistic people?
pattie khalil I have High Functioning Autism and there are some parts of it that are great. I legit don’t care if other’s think im good at my job. I KNOW whether I’m good or not and right now I kickass at my job! I don’t always pick up on passive aggressiveness so a lot of the time shitty people don’t bother me cause I don’t even notice their behavior. Once I embraced my ASD, I’m MUCH more confident in my work than most of my coworkers
Could you film a video explaining your experiences working at an eating disorder inpatient as well as what to expect. Kinda like a day in the life and answer maybe like myths about inpatient units? By the way I love your educational videos😁
I sometimes think I could have made my ED up because a lot of the times I am first "considering" binging and after that I also think about the purging and whether I should do it or not. So in the end both binging and purging are somehow resistable and if I really wanted to I could have controlled it. But I am most often deciding to binge and most of the times purge after.
But idk I am very confused with that. One moment I think I have it all under control and in the next moment I am eating a pizza, fries, ice cream and cookies... and before I realise it I have already eaten 5000+kcal
For me, my brain works differently because I have more subconscious things happen in my conscious awareness than others, so i would get thoughts that would usually work behind the scenes when developing mental illnesses, and it would feel like I'd be making stuff up because I was aware of it. With my anorexia it started by my thoughts literally saying stuff like "I'm going to start controlling food because this makes me feel safer and I can feel like I'm being worthy" and it felt as if I was just making it up and it made me feel even shittier about myself. I hate it when people say "you're just making it up in your head" about mental illness because it puts all the blame and shame on you.
I used to believe I had made my eating disorder up. That things really weren't that bad. My childhood psychologist told me I was too big to have an eating disorder. That if I had one of have a swollen belly like starving African kids.
I got very sick and almost died and it was only when I got a new therapist that told me Yes, it was valid, that I was able to seek help and get better.
It still makes me angry that I left it go so long because one person said I wasn't sick. I lost so much in my life:(
Somehow your video's always come at the right time for me! Like when I was thinking about how my treatment wasn't helping, did I give it enhoug time?? BAM video about that. And thanks for this video keep doing what you do! You're doing an amazing job
Like many other spaces, mental health is a space for imposter syndrome, and it is SO easy to talk yourself into a whole lot of invalidating thoughts. You are real. Your pain is real.
I've never really talked to anyone about it so idk if it's an eating disorder, but I only eat once every day or two, and less when I'm feeling worse than usual. It feels like it might be manipulative behaviour because I want someone to notice or react, and I don't think it's a real eating disorder because I _can_ do more, I just kinda choose not to? I feel like I'm just super manipulative.
Alice Reid it sounds like an eating disorder to me
I appreciate that you don't mention ED as just or only for weight loss: for me, it was a method of control and self-harm without showing scars (because I have MDD, GAD, and PTSD from sexual trauma). Every person's story is different regardless of the reason or cause, your story is valid
Is being schizoid neurotypical?
Thank you for your videos! You have helped destigmatize therapy for me and now I'm getting the help I need. Thanks a million!
I hate when people say people do stuff for attention, like attention is the last thing that i want lol i hate attention
They're also really struggling with something that they feel the need to get attention in this way.
Kaitlin Clarke true
I hate and love attention
I've realized that after I finally was able to stop self harming, my eating disorder got SO much worse and now it's one of the only things I think about. TW// I always had a bit of a disgusted fealing with myself when it comes to food and eating but I still ate even though sometimes it made me feel bad. It never got too bad except for that and once I stopped self harming it got super bad and I have a really hard time. I only eat one meal a day, sometimes less and I don't know how to make it better. I can't eat without feeling disgusting and wanting to hurt myself even more.
This was very helpful. Ive started stuggling with an ED and part of me is saying "Omg just eat, you know you can your just attention seeking" and the other part of me feels aweful to eat and when I do I cry and feel overwelmed to have it in my body so I try and throw up or work it off
This was an amazing video. Thank you for the upload and thank you for saying this. I know you didn't make this for ME but it hit home.
Hey kati can you make a video on self care getting out of bad situation and/or ways to cope with a unhealthy environment
Josh Proffitt RUclips is afraid advertisers will get mad of their ads show up on controversial videos so RUclips will demonetize them if certain words are tagged or in the title. That’s why most of Kati’s ED and trauma videos are flagged and demonized
I love how you are talking in this video 🙈❤️
the fact that i got a dieting ad before this video
Hi Kati I love your videos so much and you are extremely nice person and thank you for everything you do for us can you talk about how to deal with addictions please and thank you.
ahmed Hassan Kati already has a few great videos on this I’ll link below! ruclips.net/video/k_RqBHltnws/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/0ZGO-AeMqy0/видео.html
Thank you, I really needed to hear this
Hi, do you have any videos on requesting accomodations for mental health issues with your employer?
Kristina Corey yep! Here’s a link to the video ruclips.net/video/40LUEsYW6oc/видео.html
Sometimes I thought I was faking, but I kept it all to myself and HATE reaching out... but I feel like facing what's going one helps you know if you're faking or not. Then you accept it. Then you fix it.
Question : What if you think about a certain person and it makes you feel sad and anxious, but you can't cry??
Amani Blossoms Kati answers similar questions in her FAQ videos!
ruclips.net/video/AvDUH602U84/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/oji0OmuxFq4/видео.html
My mom has an eating disorder so that's how I thought that restricting is the right way to lose waight
Can I translate your video to portuguese and post on my instagram? I'll mention it's from your chanel and all
Vitoria Kipnis Kati has a link in the video description where anyone can add subtitles in different languages!
Thank you Kati
Wow... I really needed this... I'm struggling so much of the time and my negative brain makes me feel so guilty about everything and like what I feel is all bullshit... And it constantly tells me I'm not doing enough...
I need advice.. if someone already had an eating disorder and mental health issues and influcenced me then i started to develop on my own and injur myself have panic attack ect. bc of it. Does that mean that it doesnt count and isnt real? They used to isolate me and insult me nd give me tips on EDs. Now i dont see them anymore and i am much better mainly bc of my bf helping me and stuff. But i still have a weird sort of competion with him that he doesnt even know about i always have to weigh less than him eat less than him ect. so its still there even now when that friend isnt around now idk help does it still count if i was influenced help!
No, it still does count and is still real, regardless of why or how you got into these kinds of behaviours. Many, many different factors can be the cause of an eating disorder, more often than not, there are multiple causes. Genes (history of eating disorder in your family), environment (eating disorder around you, or simply, where, how and with whom you grew up with), your own self-esteem, media, etc.. In your case, even if the "friend" you had did not have an eating disorder, with the way they treated you (isolation, insults, etc... you tell me) there's a high chance you would have developed (if you don't already) depression, anxiety, or any other kind of mental illness or gotten low self-esteem. There are also chances that you would have developed an eating disorder even if you hadn't met that "friend". That is simply because eating disorders are coping mechanisms. If, to begin with, you (or anyone else for that matter) had good mental health (that is, good self-esteem, healthy behaviours, normal amount of stress, no trauma, etc...), if you were not suffering then, there wouldn't have been any need for any kind of coping mechanism. Maybe you had good mental health before meeting that "friend"? if that's the case, it still does not mean that it's unreal or that it does not count. Because that simply mean that your "friend" hurt you so much that you developed the need for a coping mechanism, which in your case was, unfortunately, an eating disorder.
Hope that was of help, in any case, good luck with your recovery! It might be hard, it might last a while, but it is worth it. Recovery is worth the effort.
This was so important to me, this has always been my deep dark secret that I’ve carried with me for years - i invented my problems, I made them all up and I did this to myself. That I never even had an eating disorder in the first place.
I’ve never heard anyone talk about this feeling before, thank you so much Kati, words can’t describe how much clarity you have given me, and I’m sure, many others.
Thank you for being here x
Ali as ❤️
ED ARE SO COMPETITIVE!!! i remember one time a while ago my friend was talking about how she didnt eat for 3 days, and my brain overtime has taken that for "not eating for 3 days is normal". shes doing better now, but i still find myself trying to compete with her for how long i can go without food
Hey Katie can I ask why eating disorder videos aren't monetizable I'm just curious to know! Also I absolutely love your channel keep up the excellent work xox
I suspect that it is because they don't want people making money from pro-ED (pro-ANA or pro-MIA for example) videos.
Ugh can so relate to the "am I making this up?" Thoughts.... Or the I'm just broken, it's just me, this situation wouldn't traumatize anyone else, it's just me being less than narrative.... About 2 years, an amazing councilor, and bit of trauma/EMDR therapy later and finally starting to let myself just acknowledge my hurts and work at healing them instead of minimizing them or coming up with reasons of why I shouldn't be hurt to begin with (not helpful lol). It takes one piece of the messy icky negative thoughts out of my head that I don't have to manage anymore, and every little bit helps! :)
Thanks, my family thinks I have an eating disorder, but I don’t think I do. I will definitely be subscribing!
Thank you so much for saying this. I have been struggling with thoughts and similar for most of what I remember from my life. I'm turning 33 soon and I have a horrible memory so I don't remember much from my childhood but from what I DO remember i know I kept thinking to myself many times that maybe my selfharm was just me being an "attentionwh--" or whatever. As well as "my situation isnt even that bad GET OVER IT" ...and in some way I think i'm still struggling with that last part. But, hearing you (and many others who comment on these videos) say these things and spell them out are always encouraging and comforting. Thank you.
You are so thoughtful and kind. Thank you.
I did want to let you know your video does have an add. It's for a "healthy" weight loss product claiming a loss up to 20 lbs in 21 days. Kinda ironic considering the video, inappropriate and triggering for some. Maybe you can do something about that?
My issues just started recently. I’m not underweight but I am losing weight quickly. I restrict and exercise as much as I can. I cry when I have to eat in front of my husband because I feel so disgusting and like I don’t even deserve to eat. I am diagnosed with PTSD, schizoaffective disorder and general anxiety which I think maybe plays a part. I’m 23 and feel like I’m to old to just now develop a ED.
Instant subscribe, I had never thought about people doing things "for attention" in that way.
That need for attention or whatever it is, is itself an issue that needs to be addressed.
Really changed the way I think about a tons of people I've known who've I've thought of as attention seekers. Thanks.
Justus Attanasio Welcome to the Community!
This thought has crossed my mind after moments of self harming. For some reason i doubted my own emotional pain because I didn't cause enough physical pain... it would make me angry, feel weak, but then embarrassed because I wondered if I was lying to myself. I don't know if that makes any sense but... thanks for touching on the topic.
Thank you for this video. I've had my ED for 25 years. I've been struggling with feeling like I don't have an ED anymore because I am pretty much almost weight restored, not because I've been recovering, just because my behaviors no longer work like they once did. I still have all of my behaviors, but I have gained weight so I don't feel like I should have the label (because I feel not sick enough), even though every single day is either restriction or restriction combined with purging. I'm ashamed. I have no goals so I quit therapy a year and a half ago and I want to go back, but I don't feel like I'm worth my therapist's time. I know my ED is a coping skill from being abused, but I sometimes think it wasn't that bad so maybe I'm just imagining that, too.
I used to think I was making it up as a kid when I SH'ed.... which made me feel worse. Now the weight of what happened to me is finally settling in now that I'm finally far far away from it. I wasn't making it up I was telling myself it wasn't happening. I'm in a much better place now and have been for a few years.
Where do you put questions that you want Kati to answer in videos ?
Manon Welham-Daly You can always try to post it in the comments right after a video drops. By far the best way is to join Kati’s Patreon where she answers questions on her livestreams! Ck it out at www.patreon.com/katimorton