Why Narcissists Come Back Like Nothing Happened
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivat...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivat...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self-aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor, a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth, and change. I do that through these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook.
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I think they believe they are intelligent and we are stupid.
Absolutely!!!!, oh I could say so much more but this is a definite!
So true!!
I know my husband does. Everything about him is so much better and superior to me. 🤮🤮🤮
They definitely want to condition you to the disrespect. Minimizing your feelings & emotions !!
I disrespected the narc until he left me alone. Forever this time.
I think minimizing your feelings is a big part of it. They believe they have the right to be upset but you don’t.
@@blusunflower8jones438 Minimize? Hardly acknowledge anyone else even has any. Just an object like a trash can for all their crap.
I'm learning late in life, but yes!, don't give them what they want.
Manipulators wipe their slate clean without remorse so they expect you to dismiss your feelings too 🙄 its called toxic for a reason 👀
My sister
To avoid all the drama just remain single.
Amen 🙏🏾
I wish that was my mind set 22 years ago 😢but to little to late now. Being with a narcissist not only is dramatic, it's life changing. Not for the better.
Oh I wish I could
Yes,And walk away from a narcissistThat is a family member.
@@leonablack3516Roger.
Sweeping it under the rug is minimizing or dismissing responsibility/ accountability. They cant own it so they lie, deny, blame/shame. DARVO
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Just awful. Agreed.
Even if u try to hold them accountable and don't back down, they still avoid, manipulate, won't communicate, etc. Losing battle
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Walk out, force you to leave by threatening to call police & falsely accuse, then call you a psycho-bitch… all the while im standing there almost in silence, mostly non-reactive and I’M psychotic??!!!!
😂🤬😭🤪😤🤯
It's TRULY CRAZY AND THEY THINK WE'RE CRAZY😂😂😂😂😂BEST OF LUCK, I PRAY U R AWAY, I'M four months away and he's killed my chickens and my cat and moved in another family and destroyed them after encouraging them to steal my personal belongings and then blaming me 4 not taking what I valued, I valued my life and Soul after he purposely crashed the car my face was next, he even said i needed punishment❤❤❤❤I ran when he said get out, but he thinks it's all my fault, crazy crazy CRAZY ❤❤❤❤❤ Magnificent gratitude and RESPECT, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉@@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL
So damn true gets angry at me I miss him because he so believable with his lies
@@anitasmithfield8720 that's the hard thing.. The lies are so believable, and oftentimes they actually do the thing they promised, only to stop once they manipulated u back.
I left a marriage of 20 years a few months ago. I became so exhausted by a grown man throwing dangerous temper tantrums. Then either blaming me for everything wrong in the relationship or acting like I was making up any issue we were having. I became so unsure of what the truth really was.
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
Whatever you do don't go back no matter how much they promise to change. They never do, NEVER.
Sounds like my relationship. I'm just now learning how to deal with this garbage.
The audacity to come back like nothing happened
Yes, mine did that after six months away. It broke my heart but I said no way!
love your handle :) stoic is a great ambition! may I reply, its weakness (not audacity - tho that's how we experience it) I just can't manage the anger anymore - so I just feel such sorrow at the wasted human capacity, its sad. I used to be angry at them, but once you see....you can not un-see them for what they are: weak, sad, hollow,
This happened to me ! Something pulled me away that day !
They NEVER apologise as they don't think they have done anything wrong , they never look in retrospect at themselves.
Over and over and over won't answer won't return a text accuses me of false accusations so he can go party and blow all his money on hookers it frees his soul to start a fight and accuse me of false accusations,the distrust comes from catching him cheating and promises me never happen again he loves and wants to be with me it last untill he sucks me completely dry abd dumbs me couple days before he gets his check will blow throw 2,000 in 2 days comes back on my payday live s off me untill his payday again nothing offer me except his lies
He's told me, "I don't like to talk about the past" even though it just happened 10 min ago. Or he will say, "I don't like when you repeat things I've said back to me. It pisses me off." So therefore nothing can be discussed and nothing can be brought up as to what he said at any point past 2 min.
Narcissist 101: "You live in the past, get over it" then 2 seconds later, brings up every miniscule thing we did that hurt THEM. I can spot a narcissist from a mile away and will avoid them at all cost.
They don't all yell, some go dead quite and calm even that's to manipulate.
This here!!!!!!! No one seem to understand this. If the person just shut down you cannot deal with the issue at hand. You go through the emotional turmoil.
Continue your healing journey and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence. join our free masterclass here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
After 14 years I just figured out my husband is a narcissist. All this time I’ve been doing everything to fit his ideal mold to no avail.
The life I thought I knew was a lie and now I’m all alone with a million broken pieces and 5 children.
God have mercy on me.
Praying for anyone who has been through narcissistic abuse or if you’re like me trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move on.
Kudos to the creator of this video for doing the work to become self aware and sharing this information with us.
I’m still processing it all. How could I be so blind? That’s what really disappoints me. I can’t believe it took so long to get it.
Peace and love y’all. I hope you get healed and remember that you deserve real love.
It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
You’ll get through this. God is with you.❤
@@cynicismbycynAmen!!
Can you join a good church community. You need a support network
You need a support group/person whom you can confide get support from to endure, it helped me through the tough times.
This JUST happened to me after a BIG fall out with something very serious. This is pure insanity and I still don’t know how to go about it. His family does this too btw.
Run like your hair is on fire! The family is a whole toxic cult, and you don’t want to have them all attack you and they will! I said I was being surrounded by the “Wolfpack” to be devoured. They will talk shit on you to his family to put them against you too. They usually smear your character to their wolves way way way back in the beginning. Triangulating them against you for the narc! It never stops running now.
He’ll destroy you and keep doing it till you break. Get him out and don’t let him in again. Trust Mei went through it too.
@@Shay3356 Amen they will keep up till you are broke then they toss you away like a broken toy. Ewwwww they are so nasty and evil!! You are so right tho!! God bless you Shay!!
@@Shut-up-Shelly bless you too sis❤️ stay safe and remember, YOU matter xx
@@leonablack3516 I have kids with them..
YES, currently waiting for 2 years for my wife to explain why she left for 6 months, then walked back in the door and demanded we resume as normal with no explanation given or acknowledgement of the pain she caused for both me and the kids.
Maybe she knew you’d take her back with no explanation.
@@RachelAmmons I moved into a seperate room and put a lock on it - peace at last.
@@Shadow_Lurker968 I am sorry for anyone trapped in an abusive relationship, I can't say my wife was physically abusive, but the gas lighting, mood swings, shouting, and reputation destruction were very stressful for me and the kids.
She’s a rascal 😂
@@SherrylandNC a cute lil rascal....
It was only a day before when the narc ex called me with strange number (I blocked him on all platforms possible). When I answered and heard it was him, saying all the lovebomb-y shits, I called him out on his behaviour of cheating and lying and so on . I asked directly what he expected me to do or react after all this? He said “I don’t want you to bring it up. I hope you won’t bring it up.” He asked for chance to work on our relationship.
At first I was thinking “or shouldn’t I bring it up?” but like you said, Ben, he will keep doing all the terrible stuff to me and avoiding all accountability. I cannot let that happen to me. I cannot tolerate it. I still can’t believe I DID tolerate it for years.
This video helps me. Thanks so much.
Good on you!
Run now you are being shown the truth of who you are dealing with. The light is shining bright on these dark people. Run run run. Cut your losses and run! Don’t ever look back they will keep you hook in.
Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
You go, girl!
'I was hoping you wouldn't bring it up'...?!?
Ummm, excuse me, but there is an elephant in the room...and it is stepping on my toes. Kind-of a problem!
Thank you Ben.
This happened to me 2 months ago. After being ghosted by my ex narcissistic friend as punishment for setting a firm boundary. She texts me like nothing happened. No apology. No accountability. I didn’t respond to her text. Then a while later, she sends me a text blaming me for ghosting her and she just wants to see if I am okay. What a liar!
I made the decision to take care of me. I don’t want nor need toxic relationships. I blocked her.
That’s called a heat check she’s trying to see if she hurt you so she can do it again
My mom and narcis-sisters all do this. I grew up hearing, "Oh, that's just how your sisters are." and I had to except it and not say anything about them raging. When my mom would rage she would blame me for making her mad. I've distanced myself from all of them.....and they hate it and now I'm the one with the problem. I'm ok with that because I have peace.
That is classic in a "family system" with narcissists. I experienced the same with parents and sibling. Also distanced myself from them all, and also was told I had the problem. I am OK with it too as I have peace. I am sure however that none of them do.
@@gingermaynor495Ditto!
‘narci-sisters’ 😂 so good. Lol
I had a narc husband and woke up finally and ended the relationship. Now our daughter has become his replacement. This hurts more
ouch!
I worry about that, too. 😢
I feel your pain
I feel you. I left after 30 years. I have a son.
I am so sorry.
My ex would be so overly happy the next morning after a horrific fight. Like singing and dancing happy. It confused the fuck out of me!!!! I felt like I was insane!
Mines did the same crap I think is very evil and dysfunctional behavior. All the years I wasted ❤️🩹
Borderlines do this too. Almost like amnesia that leaves you scratching your head. As a child my father would tell dad jokes and act silly with me after a massive anger scene that left me scared and still shaking. I realized he was too ashamed to apologize and own up to his bad behavior so he tried to make me laugh instead. It was never funny.
My dad did this crap all the time.
Borderlines have a lot of narcissistic behaviors and traits too.
Often in my case, when the battle continues to escalate then it’s the big finale “you need professional help”!!!!!! 🦋
Exactly
Oh right. Telling everybody I'm crazy... lmao
Woman are choosing self sufficiency over intimacy more and more, too many screwed up men out there. Bravo girls!
It’s not just women that are going through this, tho. I’ve seen women do the blaming and gaslighting toward men and in platonic relationships. This is not a specific gender problem. This is a person problem.
Online dating statistics tell us they're just getting railed by men more and dating less. Bravo society
My own mother has done it to myself, my children and my stepfather, stepsister and stepbrother. They don't care and what's worse they never did
There's more crazy bichs then men dummy
@1980shameka lol many many women are narcissists and abuse other women in the family and workplace
I left the narc behind. Years ago.
Until this day, I still dream of saying out loud to that person "Sweetie, you are a TOTAL Fruitcake"
Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
😂😂😂
After the narc had perpetrated his cruel, evil, degrading and humiliating schemes upon me, he would turn around and act like nothing happened, as you so accurately describe in this video, trying to elude all responsibility for his nefarious actions.
The narc I experienced would take the reality of a situation he didn't like and rewrite the script into his bunch of lies that made him look better or worked for him in a different way and totally believe that as what really happened. His daughter separately confronted him on doing this, as had I.
If I ever brought up what really happened to him, even the slightest detail he would go into a narcissistic rage.
Excellent explanation and video, very accurate.
Thank you.
Mine did this in front of his kids so his kids hated me. He told his brothers and sisters same so they would all hate me. He acted in my face like he “loved” me but to all of them he shows the face the he “hates” me to them. Sick sick sick. Run run run.
@@leonablack3516 amen sister!!
They are just broken
😂😂😂😂😂
More like, They are sorry no good POS’s! Lol! I can’t stand to even think abt what I put up with, but Thank God this channel found me!! 🙏💪❤️
I'd say they're rotten.
It is a mental illness. I don't think they realize. They just think it's normal.
This is quite insidious. My divorce from my covert narcissist husband of 31 yrs was final 11 days ago BUT he really had me going crazy bc I was deathly ill for the past decade ( med injured in 2014. ) so pulling this shit 💩 on me always made me feel like I was the problem. I would always think I was forgetting something or making a bigger deal of something that wasn’t such a big deal . And of course, he’d always tell me that’s precisely what I’m doing. He assaulted me Dec 5th. I filed for divorce on Dec 11. I hit him with a restraining order and now I’m divorced. I’m in counseling biweekly and I go to group therapy twice a week. I start my first job in a decade on the 29th. I’m starting to heal. We have kids and gkids together. He has a cpo against him for 3 yrs. Stay healthy friends ❤
I’m so happy for you to be free to be you. My narcissistic husband just took me on my once a week outing. It’s like I’m his child and if I’m good he’ll take me for an ice cream cone or grab a burger then right back home. We haven’t been on a vacation by ourselves in over 20 years, with family seven years. We don’t go out and have fun like normal people. He says that my job is taking care of the house, he don’t like it when I have a job. No friends, very little family that have turned their backs on me because of his smear campaign. Good luck to you.
Great for you!💛 You should be proud of yourself! And I completely understand what you mean, mine put me through A LOT in such a short amount of time. I thought it was me but there's parts of me that I worked on for a VERY long time and so I KNEW it wasn't me but I tolerated things because I thought he needed me in a way that no one showed up for him. I realized after he betrayed me by cheating, he was the toxic one that made his life so "bad" (as he claimed) because of his selfish choices.
@@cyndim8785 Free yourself! ❤
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@@cyndim8785 , im so sorry 😞
Yours is the most accurate and realistic description of narcissistic behavior in relationships that I have ever seen. Bravo to you for putting this out there!
Wow, thank you!
Went thru this for years. Husband would work himself into a rage over nothing, then the silent treatment for days. Suddenly, without warning, he was back to normal. I hated that he did that on vacations until I started inviting other people. He was nice as pie in front of others. The last time he had a meltdown, I was carving pumpkins for Halloween. He ran in screaming. It was word salad. He didn’t make any sense. I didn’t say a word. He looked like a crazy person. Then it was the usual routine. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 2 months after that and didn’t last long. If he hadn’t gotten sick, I would have divorced. I had already seen an attorney. This started about 13 years into our marriage. Weird
My late husband did that all the time. He’d have screaming fits, threaten to call a lawyer, he’d cheat, call names and then a few days later act like nothing ever happened
25 years.. this describes my ex husband. Not one apology in all those years . These people are so sick. Glad I divorced him. Wish I had this info years ago.
Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
Yep. This is narcissistic husband. He shouts, screams, and breaks things, then runs to the basement. Then he comes back as if nothing happened.... I've given up on this marriage. It's not worth my energy. I don't do things with the toxic in-laws anymore either. I just take care of me and my kids, and I'm waiting for them to get out of daycare so I can save for my own place.
I feel so bad for you! I lived with that for almost fifty years. Don’t be like me-don’t let him destroy your whole life!
@@kathybrem880ditto
My mother I don't take her serious anymore and it's hard being a man of serious faith in God and trying to honor my parents.
This is one of the clearest, most accurate descriptions of the abuse the Narc does to the other person that causes that person to completely doubt reality. Applause
My narc ex did this all the time and I even confronted him about it once and he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about 😅
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My Nex did this ALL THE TIME- sickening! I couldn’t understand it.
Nex. I liked this.
My narcissist bros actually got drunk at my daughter's Ivy League college dinner. It was very embarrassing. When I confronted him, he said oh why are you bringing up old stuff? Lol ZERO accountability. When really he was jealous and tried to cause havoc.
My narc will just leave when confronted with the truth and won’t see her for weeks. Then pops back in when she thinks everyone forgot. There’s never an apology or accountability. No paying back the money they steal from everyone in the family.
Open up your heart / stay away from toxic people.
Absolutely! Opening up your heart while staying away from toxic individuals is key to healing and personal growth. If you're looking for more guidance, join our free masterclass here: www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
literally saving my life bc ive been so sad mourning the loss of my relationship. i chose to leave but i didn’t want. the future i saw was everyone blaming me for being difficult when he could just be a little more respectful and kind.
You know what you know ~ Doubt them and Believe yourself 💪🏼
Especially when they try to talk you into something 🚩aka gaslighting ...twist the truth by changing the narrative
This is so important to bring to light. Just left him 20 minutes ago. His crazy bores me at this point..so done. They never change..❤Thank you❤
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My narc of 17 years, never yelled, not once. He would say man things with a low tone and clenched jaw. He would just go silent for weeks at a time. Never apologize, no accountability. Pretend nothing ever happened. When I would try to talk about things, he would tell me I'm just trying to fight. I never was. I'd just change the subject. I left him in June. I just started dating a Doctor. We're taking things slow and building a relationship. Thus far, no red flags. We'll see.
I’m “Insane”, “unhinged”, “crazy”, “something is wrong with you” - if I finally speak up and say wtf?
My "ex" used to say these same things to me, while at the same time staring at me wrathfully, even though he was the one that was actually causing the chaos and confusion in the relationship. It was so freaking crazy that I couldn't explain his behavior to anyone because it was so freaking unbelievable!
Just recently coming through clearer after 30 years
self aware narcissist. That's great! Thanks for being here. You are a credible voice.
Thank you so much!
This is the best breakdown in explanation I have heard on RUclips. Thank you very much.
Yes
Mom would come back & ask "are you still sulking"... I do feel they are testing your ability to set a healthy boundary. When we don't, it allows them to continue their bad behavior. She once said that it was okay since i allowed her too without consequences!!!
Setting clear boundaries is crucial. When you don’t enforce them, it can enable continued bad behavior. For more insights on managing these situations, join my free masterclass www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
They never come back to me. I think they know I’m on to them.
My husband is 100 % narcissist living with him for 26 years😂 was always making me sick, I think he is the reason why I am having chronic disease now 😢 but I can't get out because of money reasons but I found a counter attack and tamed him a little and it works for me as of now .( i hope😂)
I have been with mine for 31 years. I am in the early planning stage as of last week. I am finding a way to support myself and hoping it will work for at least one more year so that I can get to my goal.
My parents do this every time.
Funnily enough, my narcissist ex has reappeared within the last two weeks-- after ignoring me for almost 20 months. They are trying to talk to me as if nothing happened.
I'm like... really?
Same thing happened to me. He ghosted me and then came back on my birthday (after 2 years) sending me a message telling me how wonderful I am as though he was my bestie and nothing had happened 😂 It really screws with your head.
@@leonablack3516 He is blocked now 🚫 💪🏼🤍
Thank you.
Until I figured it out, this was the most confusing thing EVER!!!
Glad it helped!
Oh yes, it was a huge part of the M.O, and as you said, it kept ramping up until physical abuse was threatened. I pushed against that and he just blew up at the idea that I would object. A day later he was all smiles and 'what's for breakfast?' I left that day and never went back.
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It’s been 4 years. Had to contact because the dog we adopted is dying. He was adamant he’s in a new relationship (never posted on social media according to friend who looks-I do not). Adamant he’s happy. New life. And adamant, that even though we went through stage 4 cancer (beat it), “he has no feelings for me whatsoever. I don’t think he will be back. Not even after our “his” dog dies.
Yes, absolutely 👍🏽
A cousin stole part of my inheritance as well as that of several other relatives. When called out, she became maniacally enraged, followed up by a series of text messages doubling down on her behavior. At this point, I decided to go on a gray rock-no contact hybrid with her.
The rage and anger reacting to a simple question. Then has a fake like apology and says i love you 2 times as he leaving to go do ministery with a church group at a mens prison. I can't say i love you back. Was still feeling crushed in spirit. 45 years of this. God help and heal.
Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
@@angellollar1083 I am sorry and I understand. When you have the time please take a look at Dominic Harbst (restoring relationships) videos. I hope this helps. ♥️ *I may have misspelled his name but you should still be able to find him).*
My "ex" was a "pastor" and would narc rage at me, and call me "vile" and "crazy" whenever I brought up any serious issues in our relationship. Then he would quickly change his demeanor to answer his cell phone, always starting with a warm greeting, like "Hi sister or brother so-and-so, God bless you!". Narcs are particularly abusive to their wives (or SO) behind closed doors and when nobody is looking. I could only stomach him for 2 years, then I was out!
Used to hate that!
Thank you! Really explains it well!
You're welcome!
Thank you for this. This was what I have struggled with for 30 years. You have put it into simplistic terms and it now makes sense, I couldn't understand this at all. He would scream at me, calling me vile names etc, then act like nothing happened. I was too sensitive, anything said in an argument was to be left there, it was the heat of the moment so I should just forget it. Up until 2 years ago I had no idea what vulnerable narcissism was, when I realised what I was dealing with it was like a jigsaw fell into place in front of me. I've spent the last 2 years watching videos like these and gaining my strength. In June I applied for a divorce, he moved out 2 days ago and I feel nothing but relief. I am starting therapy next week as I know I can't heal from this on my own. But it's thanks to you and people like you who make these videos that show us we are not alone, and the issues aren't ours. I really thought I was going insane at one point so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me, and many others in the same situation.
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
This has been my mother all my life. Now my sister in law is displaying this exact pattern.
My ex broke up with me cheated on me treated me like trash she was abusing me physically and mentally I stopped contacting her for a month after month she started calling me and acted like nothing ever happened.
They never apologize!
My mother will blow up and scream and create a huge upset over nothing.Then she will act like nothing just happened. It makes you feel like you’re crazy.
See how much praise they give you over anything. Praise is a social reward and they expect all and give none.
My narc twin brother pulled a gun on me then a year later said to me “where is the love” and got furious when I ignored him
You couldn't describe it better.
Been following you for years, but this is a great detailed explanation!
Most content creators don't get it this accurate. I know it's related with your own work on yourself, produces so much clarity.
Continue your healing journey and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence. join our free masterclass here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
One of my favorite video from you Ben. Thank you sooooooo much
He talked me into leaving my bike at his place, I told him I wanted it back, he brought over a bike that was not mine, it was a piece of trash, then told me that I was wrong, that is my bike
Now he keeps calling and texting, I just don’t listen or read them, just delete
How about when they are raging they bring up everytging you have done the last 30 years and blame you for everything. Then they wont even consider what they have done. Ugg! Its frustrating. These video's have helped a lot.
I always want past issues to be resolved before I even consider letting someone back into my life. They want to skip about ten steps.😅
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
I almost forgot how abnormal this is. He has always acted as if we hadn't just had a big fight. He always says, come here. Trying to get me to accept it. He thinks it's all good if I come to him or he kisses me, and I don't push him away. He will persist if I refuse. It's been so long since we started this relationship I don't know if I can restart my life.
It’s tough to reset when you've been dealing with this behavior for so long. Remember, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and establish clear boundaries. If you're struggling with this, consider joining my free masterclass for more support and strategies www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
@RawMotivations I don't even know where to start. I feel like I absolutely MUST stay with him or face being hated.
They stay unharmed unless or until they get what they deserve as their behavior's natural consequences from people around them.
The victims are harmed but they couldn't careless since it's not on them.
That's so true. It's important to remember that toxic people often face little immediate consequence for their actions, while victims endure the harm. Focusing on your own healing and setting boundaries is crucial. For more support and tools on this journey, join our free masterclass here: www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
I ghosted him but before that he discarded me and ghosted me but he always came back , it's been about 3 years since I ghosted him went no contact and I've heard nothing, been peaceful
My covert narky ex GF 1x public shame smear me on FB as we dated over something she delusionally swore happened that i did to her (it didnt). Her posts that she made sure my family, friends, coworkers saw were awful & bizzaro & cruel! But folks know my character & blew her off. (She later got mad @ me bout that also).
When i confronted her about the posts to delete. She acted like nothing happen. & what was i talking about. She did this for a week while i refused engage w her til she deleted, awknowledged, & recant....she only ever deleted 'em & never did anything else. And i stupidly accepted that. 8.5 years of this type shaggy "wasnt me" song til she discarded me 7mos ago for a new supply guy she monkeybranched to. Best Thing Ever Happened My Life the Last Decade! 🦅
Thank you putting this dynamic into a word format that finally explains what I’ve been dealing with!
I feel so heard and validated after watching this video. You nailed what I couldn’t put into words in the best way so have heard so far.
I often cringe at the way people use the term “gaslighting”. I often don’t think the way it’s used is correct, however these tactics of narcissistic manipulation that you’ve described in this video are hitting the bullseye when it comes to illustrating a form of gaslighting. I could go on but, in a nutshell, I think you’re doing a great job and this is the first time one of your videos has come up on my feed. I just subscribed. 👍🏼👌🏼
I am so glad it’s helping!
He would pick a fight with me, apologize, ask if I forgive him, and then expect intimacy/sex.
I have serious trust issues now. Trust myself and others.
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
Yes…..trusting myself. That’s what REALLY messed with my head. Looking back, I can discern why I developed unwarranted trust from childhood on. So that (sort of) helps. It took me A LOT of years to put the pieces together. I’m free now and can’t seem to get ENOUGH solitude and peace. I spend a lot of time alone (reading, resting, enjoying my home, doing fun physical activities). I’m grateful for my life and proud of the choices I made even with all the mind games. I’m free and whole.
I can 100% say that leaving is the best choice (if & when you can).
I’m out 8 years (the best decision I’ve ever made).
Choose YOURSELF first & foremost!!
My mom tried this “no big deal” tactic on me. Not working any more!
This is a learned behavior from there brawling parents.when they've seen this behavior every night for years from their parents it's deeply ingrained.
Once you find out just say" It is not you, it's me". 🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️
They create the problem, don't want to talk about it (complete silence - very dismissive) and then say "I don't like conflict". OMG So crazy.
I am a Bible teacher and I was able to reference your work with a student of mine today, when they shared that their parent went off on her and cut her out, and what to do/not do, if they “appear” one day in the future.
We read several texts that demonstrate how Jesus would have handled this situation if someone did this to him.
Thank you , this use to happen to me all the time for 25 years. So finally I did it to him after quietly watching his disrespect towards me and I detached from him.
I also ignored him. Instead of talking about it he said he wanted a divorce and he again said some really personal horrible things just to get his divorce. He refused counselling. Once things settled down he said he wanted to be friends but since he had a girlfriend and spent a large amount on an engagement ring out of our finances for her I said sorry you have a girlfriend.
I had previously warned him if we divorce I will not remain friends if other people are involved because he said we could spend Christmas’s together with our new partners.
That sounded pretty toxic to me knowing he holds grudges and I thought it would be unfair to any new partner.
I feel really pleased after watching this video that I made that decision.
Don't stay friends with him It's a big mistake because when they devalued their other partner. Then they come to you for supply and support While they are devaluating the other person. Let him sit on his devaluation of her and argue with her not come to you for supply.❤️🩹
It's so empowering to reclaim your peace and set those boundaries. You've made a strong choice for your well-being. 💪
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Yes I do deal with this
A female friebd of 42 years wanted to communicate with me after she insulted me as if nothing happened. I went no contact yo avoid being tailored fitted with a bright orange jump suit.
I asked him why he has so many different private messaging apps and a hushed app phone number that he says he hasn't used for years! He is a cheap skate, yet has been paying $5 a month for more than 4 years for a number "he no longer uses".
Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
@@RawMotivations thank you. I clicked on the link but it didn't open up.
My wife is the same way. She is constantly looking for supply. From any source. Sometimes she sends out the same message to a dozen different sites and numbers. Whoever responds, she immediately grabs them and ignores everyone else. It is painful to accept as a spouse; but understanding helps not to take it personally or “go crazy” looking for the why. It’s all about getting their needs met.
Been the cycle of my life every single day the past 3 months in a row..it's been this way the whole relationship but now he has stopped really caring about what I know and don't know whereas before he would hide his ways ...now it's like he just don't care so I stay mad and I DONT let it go ( i would if we could sit and talk it over but never happens ,we always get in another fight bc he cant stand the accountabilityits like acid is being poured on his skin he flips out lol its bizarre)..he don't understand all I want is for an apology for being called a dumbass and things I can't type here and for him to just care how I feel..and I finally understand now that will never happen, and it took me awhile but I'm hoping to be moved out by the end of the month..relationships with these people ARE TORTURE TO YOUR WHOLE BEING!!! it hurts your heart, it weakens your mind, it sucks the life out of you and physically will make you ill give you health conditions ( I now suffer from anxiety and high blood pressure, possibly p.t.s.d. ) it ruins relationships in your family ..it leaves a scar to say the least
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This is 100% true and so overwhelming. Of course if you do something that they consider hurtful then they play the victim card as if the sky has fallen in and you’re also to blame. The toxic dance !
Continue your healing journey and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence. join our free masterclass here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
Has anyone experienced the long drawn out phone conversations with the Narc? He/She will dismiss the fact that you’re busy and can’t talk and will continue talking about nothing and then end the conversation. It’s almost like they have to have the final say and control the narrative. 🙄
My mother is like that. She suddenly goes no contact with family members and doesn’t even tell us why. We send her dozens of emails, asking why she is mad at us and what we did wrong. She never answers. Then after she goes no contact for 2, 5, 10 years, she suddenly contacts us, wants to meet for lunch and acts like nothing has ever happened.
...And when you bring up the situation, they will act like they don't have a clue about any problems, accuse you of being toxic or possibly resort to shutting you off again. Narcs are exhausting and you will never get any clarity with them .
I do that because I don't like my family
@@beautifulwithbrains3096 ...Perhaps, you can make that clear to your family and not keep them wondering. It's precisely when family members go no-contact with each other, without any clarity, that makes them dysfunctional and toxic!
@@goodgracious6364respectfully, the attempt to break up with a narc never works. The narc uses any kind of engagement to manipulate and argue, turning your message of "it's over and why" into a full blown circus where nothing is accomplished and everyone is frustrated beyond measure. Sometimes there is no choice but to go dark and leave it alone.
He just left and didn't say why .he came backa yr later and told me ,he left cause no one would help him, and he's getting treat of the same way ,from his daughter, and he said he almost came back home and I told him no way I'm happier with out him, I'm not going threw walking on egg shells again
I actually think a big part of it is they literally DON’T remember it. It’s like they blacked out. You’ll notice their memory is terrible.. yeah are lying when they say stupid things like “I never said that” and you both know they did say it.. you might even have the proof and show it to them and everything - their brain is literally wiping the deck to be able to cope with the parallels that made them that way in the first place.
For 32 year's, I put up with my husband's narcissistic parents. I treated them with nothing but respect and gratitude as i had been taught as a Christian, that was what we were suppose to do. However, 3 years ago, I was done and went no contact after I was told "stay in California, Steve doesn't need you anyway" by my mother inlaw. A few months in to my going no contact, my father in law passed and at a gathering, i hugged my mother in law, but continued no contact. My husband got an audio of my mother inlaw a few weeks after this, flipping out on my husband about how she thought everything was ok because I hugged her. 21 months ago, I was physically assaulted by my mother inlaw and my husband's older brother, which finally got my husband to understand we both had to be free of this toxicity. Restraining orders and no contact are helping us heal and find peace.
I’m so sorry you put up with this for 32 years. I know this pain all too well, and I wish you peace.
I had someone disappear for a year and then walk right in my house
Outstanding.
Short Answer: Because what they're coming back to IS NOTHING (in their eyes.)
"NO CONTACT"
Its how exactly my ex did! It drove me insane, I belived I am crazy.
i've watched, compiled, and watched again too many of this man's videos to allow THAT NONSENSE to happen. i got toooo much going for me to allow THAT NONSENSE to happen.
I!!!!HAVE!!!!MOVED!!!!!ON!!!!!!100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i served my two-week sentence with that person!!!!! THAT NONSENSE was ENOUGH to last me A LIFETIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my cousin, and our grandmother is in a state of emotional whiplash with this. If it wasn't for the great grand, she would sever ties. It's very difficult when children are involved that you don't want to lose contact with
My narc ex constantly does this.
I have been trying to get her out of my life for the past 10 years.
I’m never going to be rid of her.