Got No Beard | The Longest Johns Music Video
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- Опубликовано: 26 янв 2021
- "There's no reason good enough not to join us"
Got No Beard is a rather tongue in cheek look at some of the common ways people like to try to gatekeep certain things. As the bridge to the song makes clear though, music and singing are for everybody, so get stuck in!
Special mention to our ex-member Anna Cornish who still features in this song!
This song is a Longest Johns original and is available on our album, Cures What Ails Ya.
#music #shanty #thelongestjohns
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The Longest Johns
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/ thelongestjohns
/ thelongestjohns
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www.thelongestjohns.com
open.spotify.com/artist/5k979... 
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Sea shanties are currently the glue holding the world together
Always has been.
I'm so glad shanties are becoming more and more popular 👍
Super weird how they've only just re-emerged, like among us I'm glad they've boosted in popularity
This is facts
they always have been, but it still blows my mind why they're suddenly this popular when they didn't use to be
Ah yes, the Longest Johns
You’ve got, JD, Andy, Robbie, Dave, Jobbie, Jave, Jandy, RD, Rave, Randy, AD, Ave, Abbie, Dobbie, DD and Dandy.
It’s a very big band
Thats what makes them the longest
I thought they said Anna?
omg yes! lol
@@alia.1041 She was part of the band, but left. I guess they wrote the song when she was still in the band.
Rave for sure is my favorite
With all the clothes/facial hair/height switches I felt like I was having a wonderful nautical stroke from start to finish. Brilliantly done, once again, men.
Glad its not just me
I honestly was confused towards the end, just trying to keep up with the wardrobe changes.
Not gonna lie it didn't sink in they were swapping clothes until 2:40. so i thought they were growing and cutting their hair through the year hahaha
I've been listening for a few months and I'm completely lost
@@kenichikender5178 thought they were cutting down their heair step by step and were getting fatter...
Crew: *mutinies*
Captain: "b-b-but why?"
Crew: we *can't sing shanties if we don't own the boat*
Is that what they're saying? This whole time I thought it was "don't on a boat". As in, you can't sing shanties if you don't do so on a boat.
Captain: cuts off everyone's leg
Based sailors
Ah, dang it. I have a beard but I have no boat.
“There’s no reason good enough not to join us”
Best crossover event ever
Say hi to human 1 for me
Hey great to see you in the wild.
Wouldn’t have expected to find you here OT. A surprise to be sure but a welcome one!
Spare a thought for those who are new to The Longest Johns. This video makes remembering their names all the harder.
Wait, they're not all named "John?"
I have been a fan for a month or two and dont know who each of them are, who are they?
Anne, Dave Robbie, jd, Andy
@@matthesal9872 but, got no idea in what order, except for jd, he is the guy who played as a girl
@@matthesal9872 and Robbie was the pirate I believe
What you need to sing sea shanties
1. A Beard
2. Must be able to shout HO!
3. Own a boat
4. Be able to hold your drink
5. Cant have 2 legs
6. Ignore rules 1-5 and sing along anyways!
Definitely thinking of that. But if i check the first 5 rules what do i do ?
@@-_-noxe-_-5623 Well, ye not only check 5, but 6 of'em all those rules... So, when ye come to the 6th one, basically ye do whatever ye want and sing like ye shall never do it again! And shout with yer mateys on the deck, on the work.
Instead of "Rule 6: There is no rule 6!" it's "Rule 6: Ignore rules 1-5!"
@@Pseudowolf good point
“We figure the rules are more like actual guidelines”
Andy dressed as JD is somehow the most startling transformation of this whole video.
(And yes, I'm including JD as a woman in this assessment.)
Didnt except to see you here...
It’s quite worrying how easy it is to forget who you’re looking at. The notes we wrote whilst editing this are a mess!
Nice seeing you here XD
Ikr its great.
Seeing a Minecraft youtuber almost regularly watch and comment on a sea shanty channel is odd yet amazing
The New and Improved "12 Days of Christmas"
Well yes but actually, yeah. I see the similar parts, but this ones better
Was going to say that, now I know what to sing next Christmas
Try singing ruclips.net/video/5QO8bWGNPyo/видео.html that's kinda like this and 12 days of Christmas
@@Johnmateo0 this one is also very similar ruclips.net/video/dQw4w9WgXcQ/видео.html
@@mikeoxmaul7527 mm mm no no no!
🎵 Can't get to sleep, I can't get to sleep, this songs in my head so I can't get to sleep 🎵
The Internet: Obsessed with sea shanties
The Longest Johns: "Allow us to introduce ourselves."
I'm pretty confident these guys are what made people obsessed with it, this is one of those rare times that i was into something from BEFORE everyone else was xD
@@Latonx same here! Always loved me some sea shanties.
@@Latonx very Strange feeling. Started listening to these fellas a few months back and now suddenly they have taken over tik tok. What a world 😂
Allow myself to introduce....... myself.
@@Latonx yep - it was THEIR singing of Wellerman which went viral on Tiktok
My fellow no beard gang, it is time for us to rise up and become equals via my latest invention: LAND SHANTIES!
If you haven't heard it yet, check out Stan Rogers' "White Collar Holler".
IMPOSSIBLE, IT CAN'T BE DONE
Land shanties would be African American work songs.
@@FloydBunsen on the railroad?
@@FloydBunsen or songs from literally any one of the ~194 other countries in the world
This song implies everyone except Andy has at least 1 peg leg. I wonder where they hide them.
Or they have 3 legs ;)
@@josephm5050 a third leg that's pegged isn't something I wanted to think about ngl
I have a pet leg and a Beard!
@@beanscommajim4980 Nought to fret over, me lad, long as you keep it well polished and sanded, no splinters shall pose a problem. And you can have variants.
Well I would guess somewhere between their feet and bottoms
i don't know what i was expecting, but i could never have been prepared for what i just saw. My BRAIN HURTS! At first I thought you'd somehow edited just the faces and then i noticed the torsos were consistent just the heights were changing and the clothes and then there was an old man and a girl and yes my brain has left the building. Great song though lads.
also if abbie edited this give that poor woman a massage and a drink!
@@NatalieHolmes Abbie & JD - what a job, no wonder it was late being put on!
I’ve never paid so much attention to their facial hair before. Conclusion: Andy has the best beard.
i raise you this: anna
Boss: So what's everybody done during lockdown?
Colleagues: Learned Japanese, Baking, DIY, ran a marathon.
Me: Rum & sea shanties. And grew a beard.
The wild sword chopping at 1:50 almost makes me cry from laughter 😂 adequate!
"You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat"
Land shanties: "Well hello!"
I once met a man who said he was a fan
He wanted to sing in my shanty band
But the bottom of his face looked weird (so weird!)
There was skin on his chin that I loathed and feared
From his crown to ear he was most sincere
But you can't sing shanties if you got no beard
~~~
Got no beard, you've got no beard
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
Got no beard, you've got no beard
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
~~~
I once met a girl who heard sea songs
She came to the show, and she sang along
But the timing of the shout was slow (so slow!)
She was graced with a face like the morning glow
But a holler was a blow from the very front row said
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout "Ho!"
~~~
Can't shout "Ho!" you can't shout "Ho!"
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout "Ho!"
Can't shout "Ho!", you can't shout "Ho!"
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard
~~~
I once met a guy on a weird machine
Had wheels and a bell, no mast to be seen
He was shouting from a pad of notes (no notes!)
And the wheels got caught on his overcoat
And he fell from the pier clawing at his throat
So you can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat
~~~
Don't own a boat, you don't own a boat
You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat
Don't own a boat, you don't own a boat!
You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard
~~~
I once met a bloke on a tavern floor
He'd had ten beers, but I had ten more
And his piggy little face was pink (so pink!)
He tried to shout the words, but t'were all out of sync
With a voice so bad it'll make you think that
You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink
~~~
Can't hold your drink, you can't hold a drink
You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink
You can't hold a drink you can't hold a drink
You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard
~~~
I once met a sailor all big and broad
With an eye-patch, parrot and a long curved sword
Had a chest like a powder keg (big chest)
But he had both shoes, and he smelled like eggs
I expect he would look better with a wooden peg
'Cause you can't sing shanties if you got two legs
~~~
Got two legs, you've got two legs
You can't sing shanties if you've got two legs
Got two legs, you've got two legs
You can't sing shanties if you've got two legs
And you can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard
~~~
Well, Anna's got no beard
And Dave, he has a bike
Robbie's father-in-law has boats, but won't sing on the mic
And JD can't shout "Ho!" because his wife takes much offense
And Andy's got two beautiful hairy legs
But there's no reason good enough not to join us
So sing along with the very last chorus
Two, three, four
~~~
Got no beard, you've got no beard
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
Got no beard, you've got no beard
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
Got no beard, you've got no beard
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
Got no beard, you've got no beard
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
And you've got two legs
And you can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard
Let me know if anything is wrong!
"i once met a *guy* on a weird machine", as opposed to "man"
@@JPRaven Thanks!
this is a very underrated comment
Pin this please
It's perfect
I blinked and missed the first outfit transition and freaked out when the wrong voice came from who I thought was the right person
Omg I'm cackling so much, that was highly adequate.
I'm pretty new to the Longest Johns so I don't get all the inside jokes.. Why do people in the comments keep using "adequate"?
@@christianv-h3278 I can't entirely remember just know it came from a livestream. I'm sure someone will know better them myself and be able to help.
@TimKovich Great, thanks - I get it now :)
LOOKS LIKE SEA SHANTIES ARE BACK ON THE MENU BOYS
Had nothing but maggoty memes for three stinkin days!!!
hello there
Obi Wan referencing LotR? I think I just got fandom whiplash
@@EmotionalSupportBees ah yes, i learned about lotr in the jedi text's
@@teomoga4757 general kenobi
Just want to say, before the thing starts, this is a great song
Ah crap, I shouldn't have shaved before this!
Sad
I already shaved lol
Jokes on you I haven’t shaved in 15 years
Shaved Chonk
Same
These guys are like a crew of cool dads
JD is already a cool Dad!!!
My poor family is regularly assailed with my singing of shanties. At least, as regularly as I shower during covid.
I'm just happy to be into a "thing" before it went mainstream. :)
zackly same here lol
Hipster gang unite!
Haha same
Same! Now I get to say I knew it was cool BEFORE it was cool!
What a mind trip. The last chorus with the rapid switches was something else. Way to keep it entertaining fellas!
To those discovering their new found love for shanties, following trends, or those returning, welcome aboard 💖
Well that was some strange degree of terrifying
The fact that you guys have gained so much popularity lately makes me so happy. Bringing music back to how it should be
The whiplash I get from all the switches every time I listen to this song is unreal. I love it
as someone who is quite face blind, this was an experience. it took me like 5 watches and reading the comments to notice that they weren't just swapping beards and standing at different heights.
Just realized the BIG CHEST nod to the Irish classic song “Big Strong Man”. Cool
Absolutely adore how Robbie fully leaned into his roles as the other guys!
When they said "there's no reason good enaugh not to join us" i took that so personally and now i can't stop singing along
Exactly right!
Neighbor: sparks a joint
These guys: start singing
Neighbor: oh yea
I love how Robbie perfectly emulated each other person's mannerisms for the first verse lol
They have been holding the world together for a while
I am so deeply crushed out on every single Longest John. I don't care if they have beards, boats or legs. Please don't ever stop singing and being hilarious, you guys.
Why do I feel like we need to do a community version of this where we do all sing for the very last chorus
Because we *do* need that.
Let's fuckin do it.
I'm down, let's see if we can get submissions opened!
Oh, I'm SO on board with this!
I'm loving it!
JD's legs when he was dressed as Andy were too much for us to handle.
The longest John's are literally saving the world right now. Mental health has never had such a chance
Got no beard : the song I've been playing on loop for three hours. Featuring : the longest Johns, and starring shed
I sent this to my father who followed the example of me and my brother: he started growing a beard! I am so proud of him.
the first time I heard this song I was pitifully without a beard. Now almost a year and a half later I can finally sing along.
My Therapist: "Don't worry, Dave's hair when he's dressed as Andy can't hurt you."
Dave's hair when he's dressed as Andy:
My 4yr old daughters favorite song
Currently my favorite song. On my boat in the Bahamas and playing it at least twice a day. Sometimes more. 🍻⛵️
gREat eDItiNg anD amAzING sInGinG
It's funny, I was listening to these guys years before they were popular 😂
🎵 Got new legs, you got new legs, Lieutenant Dan you got new legs 🎵
I was so confused when they started singing "got no beard" because my sleepy ass read "got no bread" and was like weird title but okay.
My favourite part of the video was everyone dressed as Andy being small
I think the last cup of coffee before bed was too much 😂
Well, this certainly freaked me out! Brilliant!
Started to listen to shanties while I'm biking around town, and started shouting 'em as well while biking. Pretty fun I shall say
My 3rd great grandfather was a sailor. Can confirm - he had an extremely impressive beard.
The face switching was what really drove this song home
Children are going to sing this five hundred years from now as a nursery rhyme. That's the good vibes I'm getting. Makes me unbelievably happy
This is extremely confusing, but hilarious to someone who is new to TLJ
The entire navy: *fury*
correction: furry
Proof Gatekeeping is eternal.
My new favorite song
These just make you feel like your with your best friends having the best time ever. Thanks guys.
I had to stop watching another longest johns video to make it to this premier.
I knew this was about gatekeeping. So topical and funny.
The best type of confusing
So clever, how on earth did you do that???!! Definitely worth the wait 😜 ❤
this was adorable and hilarious, this song has always made me giggle. my boyfriend and I sing along loudly whenever it comes on in the car, despite the fact that neither of us (usually 😉) has a beard lmao.
love this and love you guys and am so so happy for your recent successes!! congrats to you all!
For some reason i really enjoyed seeing all of you impersonating each other xD
This song is sorely underrated. I gotta sing to it every time
I feel like the longest johns is one of those channels that could get really big, and would still respond to comments
We do our best :)
Huh, seems like you are right ahaha
Well. That was lovely. And hilarious. And more than a little disorienting. I will definitely be re-watching to try to wrap my mind around what just happened. Although that may be dangerous for my sanity....
In all seriousness, well done, lads! That was amazing and must have been a ton of work.
Very well done on the video fellas. I was confused for half a second when Robbie was everyone then immediately got on board. Adequate does not describe this. Nay, far more than adequate, hilarious!
Posted on my birthday. Very cool. Beards are cool.
This was the perfect surprise to wake up to. What a masterpiece!!
me who have patchy beard : so can i sing or not ?
The Longest Johns : yesn't
got no bread i love it
this song has the vibes of "The Rattlin' Bog"
That was absolutely amazing lads! Still my favorite part of this song is as you're listing off all the exceptions, no Longest John is mentioned as not being able to hold their drink xD
Thank you for this
In fairness, I'm pretty sure if any of y'all were to get a sword, then you'd soon not have to worry about having 2 legs anymore.
Yes.
That...that was a trip
im dyslexic and i thought the title at first was got no bread and i was very confused
i said to my partner "what in the hell is got no bread?how cna you make a song about that?"
they then laughed at me when they read the title
I have a ginger beard!
I showed you guys to my grandmother, my grandfather was a sailor, she loves your singing. Thanks guys!
Oh God... I fall in love with it...
I understand why the music video took longer than expected! This was hilarious and that anna cutout was unsettlingly funny as well!
So this means that LJ can turn into one another at will? or does it mean that there's 4 copies of each john :P
No. ovbiously there was some video editing involved. there is, in fact only one John, though he is the longest there is. But as you well observed, John the long can take on several forms.
Always makes me smile.
Thank you guys.
Oh my god that was amazing. Andy as JD will live in my dreams forever.
This song was featured on KXCI 91.3 in Tucson
Almost passed all requirement. Time to fetch me saw
I had a beard and thought I was hot shit, then watched as my world crumbled around me. I'll never sing a shanty again.
I loved that the woee sound got its very own scene!!
Been listening to longest john since playing AC Black Flag and before covid was a thing in 2019.
Listening to sea shanties gives me the feeling that we could collectively pool together savings in the comments section, purchase our own pirate ship fit for a life at sea and leave the world behind for a life of travel and freedom from modern life
I've been on shanties since 2019 I cannot believe I am just discovering these guys now
If you like shanties check out the Dreadnoughts they’re awesome as well as the Longest Johns!
@@geoffreydemarro4539 Thanks! I've actually listened to them quite a bit as well, and even then I only discovered like a month ago lol. I would just put on shanty playlists on spotify and never look at the bands
Wonderful video. Now 2021 has officially started.
This was such a great thing the watch live it was amazing keep doing what you guys are doing it is awesome and stay safe
It took me a looong time to realize that sometimes it's the same person four times...