If the man in green ever approaches you, get to a lake and stand in it at waist depth as quickly as you can. For the sake of your life, do not come out until he has left. You may speak to him in words of one or two syllables, but never more. It angers him, and no amount of lake standing will save your life then.
@@man5262 oh fair but I was referring to the intro guide, which is kinda like the very basic instructions you get with a new device that has pictures. They say that people usually die before they even get to finish reading part 39: Celebrating the first month of marriage
@@man5262 the final manual is the most important arguably, it details what to do should the Man In Red approach after or directly prior to her getting you pregnant, or what to do should the Orb be summoned by The One Who Screams.
@@UltLuigi1 You shouldn't ask that question more than 3 times a year. If you use your 3 times and the One Who Bellows appears once more, remember: bullets cannot save it, either.
If the father sounds/looks/acts like he's trying to protect you, 50/50 percent chance he's either trying to kill you, or just actually helping you from someone you know
Still seriously, most of those terms are understandable, if you're a dad would understand why. I mean, will you like to let your daughter being harmed by some irresponsible guy that full of himself as well become violence in treating her whenever you got argument with her. Girls in most case often got harmed from dating, it's rather people they know that often inflict traumas and pains physically, emotionally, as well into got financially and socially being so restrained, worrying their parents.
How to make anything unnerving: >Mention objects with “The” >Mention events with “When” to make it sound certain >Overexcessive “Do Not” when referring to said events and trivial activities
@@captainblue5096 especially when referring to the “when” events and trivial activities. “When The Sharpening happens, remember to never Draw on White Paper.”
I wield dual 2 hand long swords and am not afraid of the CIA for they owe me their reputation in world of secrets. So harm my family and find out why they afterlife is building barriers to keep me out.
That sounds really fun! Like, this man would have to deal with about seven cosmic horrors breaking into his house on the daily, but him just being chill with it and defending himself against all of them with a classic fifteen-step rule guide sounds hillarious xD
I assume this happens off screen in Hotel Transylvania. Maybe the Addams Family, though I can't imagine the Addams being worried about the Man in Red, unless maybe he was just aggressively boring.
I like the part where he says that he would be honored to die in a ditch with the boyfriend if it came down to it. Implies that anyone willing to give love to his daughter is worthy of his respect and he's not ashamed to admit it. Very cute.
The dad works for the SCP organization. He fell in love with one of the anomalies. They had a kid together. He loves his daughter but he fears what she is capable of.
That would mean this man somehow banged a Keter, lived to tell the tale, and stuck around long enough to be a dad. The Doomslayer, Duke Nukem, John Ward, and V1 are all sweating.
@@Actualy1234bright/shaw has a very anomalous family - TJ heals others and takes their pain for himself, Claire sees the future, Sarah’s … uh, I won’t explain it now, and Mikell’s got SOME anomaly.
@@genghisn7It seems like communicating with the man in red will result in you becoming a man in red, which based on “nerve damage and mannerisms” seems to be a cognitohazard of sorts where the persons mind is taken over by him. The fact that its THE man in red rather than “the men in red” implies that the being will only take a single host, likely the closest person to the daughter that can be taken.
I like to think the father is actually doing this to protect the boyfriend, but also the daughter doesn't actually want to do all of the things she does, it's all on accident.
casually has an eldrich beast as a daughter. cool. change: mother, it seems i have achieved fame. this is an occasion to be commemorated for the years to come.
I love how the thumbnail is just your normal, average dad rules on dating his daughter, you know that stuff. Then BOOM, the total opposite of what I expected from the video, gun blazing, SCP level of threat, instructions from a horror game, etc.
@@Gangstablook limbus company is a pretty good game, and the main character is named Dante. And to explain what the other two are talking about, the other main characters are referred to as the sinners. And Dante has the power to rewind time and bring them back to life. And vergilius’s (Vergil) voice actor says Dante’s name in a very particular way which has become a meme, Danteh
bro, this is Anomaly containtment procedure disguised as dating guide. Any D class who got assigned as the "boyfriend" and "father" is surveiled by SCP task force.
@@mrfrog0913 Cthulu: Mortal! How foolish of you to approach me! Dad: Hi dear, I brought your favorite... Cake of tormented souls of screams and despair from 30 galaxies. Cthulu: ....Thanks-
i like this, despite the reality bending weirdness of his daughter he still wants her to have an active dating life, he's just giving the boyfriend all the necessary information to keep them both safe
Man in Red: “There’s nothing to fix. She is the perfect weapon, tethered by that machine for the comfort of the soon to extinct Homo sapien race. But if you want to try, go ahead. You’d make a great couple.”
It's hard to tell if he is trying to protect his demonic daughter from man in red, to protect boyfriend from his demonic daughter, or find an ally to not let his demonic daughter destroy the world.
I think he's trying to find a successor for the duty of containment of her cyborg/alien/demonic daughter who can prevent her from being abused in any capacity by the man in red
I appreciate that the father doesnt see you as some kind of bad biker creep or anything, he understands that someone could find love for his daughter, but he still knows that, no matter how much he loves his daughter, you and the father are one step from sharing a foxhole to hide from her
Both of you love her a lot, but when she's extruding non-euclidean fluids out of her orifices into your mouth, well, sometimes people appreciate a heads up about that sort of thing.
This feels like it was written by one of the good SCP writers during their downtime. It has that same brand of humorous surreal horror where they write out just enough for your brain to fill in the blanks.
My theory is that *the man in red* is the actual biological father of the "girl" He's another eldritch being, unlike the girl's "family" Also he may have the power to invade other people's bodies, explaining why you could present his mannerisms after an encounter
I feel like this would make a funny romcom. Boy: "Honey! Did you open a rift to hell again?" Girl: "ahgsuhasgfugasuyguyasgfyugasygufgagsyfg" Boy: "*sigh*" (uses water spritzer) Girl: "h-hey" Boy: "I told you to keep your self under control."
Very concerned that the daughter, who seems incredibly powerful, needs to be protected from the man in red. Other than that, the demands seem pretty reasonable.
This feels like an good horror movie premise. A teenage guy starts dating a girl from school, she's a bit weird a doesn't have any friends but he isn't put off by that and sees that she has a truley kind heart. They continue dating and everything is going well. Eventual he's invited to go and meet her parents. When he does at some point her dad pulls him aside a gives a long list of crytic rules for him to follow for, as he put it "For your safy and ours." and "as far as shes concerned, this convosation never happened.". He's a little shaken by all this but life contiues on. And then over the cause of the film you watch as this girl turns into an abusive partner, and then an eldrich being, and the main character has to learn more tricks and survivel skills to avoid being hurt by all the weird anomalies that come with her.
Completely disagree with the abusive partner part. I feel like this concept would only be make better if the couple GENIUENLY love each other (and is probably the only scenario logically where the father would even allow this to happen).
This feels like it would be a really good horror game, imagine your clock goes back and you have to follow a specific set of instructions as you are just watched, where one mistake made on panic could kill y
We wish you the best of luck. You are now forever bonded to her and have gained immortality. You will slowly become a creature capable of surviving her and passing as an Eldritch Creature, albeit a less horrific one.
Typical overprotective parent. Next thing you know, they'll be saying that the boyfriend can't read "book 17" to her, or let her near "the purple box"
No
And god forbid that the Man in Tangerine gets close to her.
For real… and it’s always the ones that turn around and start eating the black orbs too… smh😔
OMG i loved book 17
absolute banger fr
If the man in green ever approaches you, get to a lake and stand in it at waist depth as quickly as you can. For the sake of your life, do not come out until he has left. You may speak to him in words of one or two syllables, but never more. It angers him, and no amount of lake standing will save your life then.
You've heard "I can fix her" and "I can make her worse", now it's time for "I can contain her"
Scp mobile task force members be like
SCP-3199 ahhh father acting…
I need somebody to contain me tbh
no, first secure her
"I can survive her"
When you’re dating a temporal anomaly:
"I can fix her."
gildedguy pfp? very based
@@hateful_data ty!
@@hateful_data why is the data hateful?
@@billybobjoephilcorncobtiptopge I dont see why she needs to be fixed to begin, she's perfect
‘USE PROTECTION. If she ever gets you pregnant, god help us all.’ Was what got me
'use protection' = :D
'if she ever gets you pregnant...' = WHAT
if SHE gets HIM PREGNANT???
@@empirebeach with everything else that was mentioned about his daughter that should be the least of your concerns
@@agustinfernandez3691 it's 2024 man
@@Clkr3 and it will only get worse from now on...
If you think this is crazy, you should see the 872 page manual on marrying her.
For the record, that's part 1 of 372. It only accounts for up to the Honeymoon Stage.
@@man5262 oh fair but I was referring to the intro guide, which is kinda like the very basic instructions you get with a new device that has pictures.
They say that people usually die before they even get to finish reading part 39: Celebrating the first month of marriage
@@man5262 the final manual is the most important arguably, it details what to do should the Man In Red approach after or directly prior to her getting you pregnant, or what to do should the Orb be summoned by The One Who Screams.
@@CEO-of-money Is The One Who Screams the same as The One Who Wails, or are these two separate individuals to be aware of?
@@UltLuigi1 You shouldn't ask that question more than 3 times a year. If you use your 3 times and the One Who Bellows appears once more, remember: bullets cannot save it, either.
If anyone has any knowledge as to the whereabouts of said daughter, I will pay handsomely - NOT the man in red
Hmmmmmm, something about this seems suspicious but I can't figure out exactly what
So you're the man in blue?
@@OskarKocour These accusations are completely baseless, unfounded, and correct
this seems to be a performance of known speech pattern of the man in red
@@ashermccathern3847 holy shit, it's Blutarch Mann.
At least he’s actually letting his daughter socialize, sounds like a loving father to me.
Either that OR its part of what he needs to do to avoid triggering her world ending tendencies
Letting a Keter class anomaly socialize will not be accepted.
"She isn't just a red flag, she's the whole red country."
"So you in or not?"
"Yeah bet."
Whole ass Soviet union
Clever
Ima take this
the red flags made the red man
Redder than *the man in Red.*
Rules for dating my daughter: there are none, I don’t have a daughter. Who are you dating?
*RUN*
Air
*You.*
The daughter being dated is a canon event, it must happen.
Your mother
@@JesseFea
No… that would be
1:58 I get it now, she is able to spit an OBJECT that could get you carry the CHILD.
Ah yes.
The *CHILD.*
the CHILLD is a very dangerous being that can harm both your self worth and dignity
is she a facehugger?
@@dragonpl7573 she a face walker
Wdym? Arent Men able To get pregnant?
sounds more like the father is protecting the boyfriend, not the daughter.
I started the video scared of the father, I ended up scared of the daughter
If the father sounds/looks/acts like he's trying to protect you, 50/50 percent chance he's either trying to kill you, or just actually helping you from someone you know
😮😮😮
Still seriously, most of those terms are understandable, if you're a dad would understand why. I mean, will you like to let your daughter being harmed by some irresponsible guy that full of himself as well become violence in treating her whenever you got argument with her. Girls in most case often got harmed from dating, it's rather people they know that often inflict traumas and pains physically, emotionally, as well into got financially and socially being so restrained, worrying their parents.
Because he is.
“Just ask her out! what’s the worst that can happen”
What happens:
underrated
SMASH NEXT QUESTION
No lol @@スガル
Game is game
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
How to make anything unnerving:
>Mention objects with “The”
>Mention events with “When” to make it sound certain
>Overexcessive “Do Not” when referring to said events and trivial activities
You forgot to capitalize every Word to make It seem more Important.
@@captainblue5096 especially when referring to the “when” events and trivial activities.
“When The Sharpening happens, remember to never Draw on White Paper.”
Guys, stop exaggerating. Just ask her to go out. You can't fix her or make her worse, but you can secure, contain and protect her. Atleast I hope so.
"I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a lot of property to bury things on" sounds like a great horror movie pitch
The best part is he’s not even insinuating murder
Or a brag... Hard to tell these days...
I wield dual 2 hand long swords and am not afraid of the CIA for they owe me their reputation in world of secrets. So harm my family and find out why they afterlife is building barriers to keep me out.
"...and I'm a piece of shit. Here I go..."
"...You should dig often. It helps you win..."
"...you want to quit? I undestand. Grave robbery is vile..."
lethal company
Imagine a series like this where the boyfriend is just completely chill and follows all the instructions perfectly
That sounds really fun! Like, this man would have to deal with about seven cosmic horrors breaking into his house on the daily, but him just being chill with it and defending himself against all of them with a classic fifteen-step rule guide sounds hillarious xD
@@hypertoaster9961Sounds like an episode of the Magnus Archives honestly
I assume this happens off screen in Hotel Transylvania.
Maybe the Addams Family, though I can't imagine the Addams being worried about the Man in Red, unless maybe he was just aggressively boring.
Sucker for love basically:
There is a series like this. "Sucker for love" is a game where you date eldritch gods and have to follow strict rules so you don't die.
Daddy Dearest after giving approval for BF to date GF:
This comment deserves more attention and likes.
LMAO
Best FNF comment ever
1:56 I-If she gets ME pregnant???
transgender lore
@@legalmel if it's cis, then something weird is happening, if it's trans, not weird at all
she's just a transfem icon
Perhaps she's a Xenomorph queen or something similar.
@minestar2247 i like this comment.
I like the part where he says that he would be honored to die in a ditch with the boyfriend if it came down to it. Implies that anyone willing to give love to his daughter is worthy of his respect and he's not ashamed to admit it. Very cute.
Indeed. Very mindful too.
@@sienna_cassiavery demure
I got a feeling that the dad got impregnated by her mom, so that respect definitely comes from somewhere
@@MaybeReDvery… I’m out of words
@@MaybeReD idk what that even means
"fix her?" "make her worse?" she's already perfect as she is!!
No, you better run if you can't secure, contain and protect her.
@@A.T.P.engineer-1337AAHW coward
Least complicated Keter containtment protocols
231
@@monsterdonster9981 487
@@monsterdonster9981IS THAT TRANS FREDDY
Lol
Forget keter, that shit is fucking Apollyon
The dad works for the SCP organization. He fell in love with one of the anomalies. They had a kid together. He loves his daughter but he fears what she is capable of.
This either means *YOU* are his daughter, or his son, which either means he cheated on your mother or the anomaly, or you are born of the anomaly.
That would mean this man somehow banged a Keter, lived to tell the tale, and stuck around long enough to be a dad. The Doomslayer, Duke Nukem, John Ward, and V1 are all sweating.
Literally Dr. Clef
@@ENKTDeeColon_and_randomnumbers dr bright also works cause form what i remember one of hsi his family members has anomolous powers
@@Actualy1234bright/shaw has a very anomalous family - TJ heals others and takes their pain for himself, Claire sees the future, Sarah’s … uh, I won’t explain it now, and Mikell’s got SOME anomaly.
I firmly belive that the man in red mentions imply that any partner she has eventualy gets nerve damage and becomes a man in red
Only if they mess up.
@@genghisn7It seems like communicating with the man in red will result in you becoming a man in red, which based on “nerve damage and mannerisms” seems to be a cognitohazard of sorts where the persons mind is taken over by him. The fact that its THE man in red rather than “the men in red” implies that the being will only take a single host, likely the closest person to the daughter that can be taken.
What the fuck is going on in that household.
Some dumbass is trying to date an eldritch entity and her father is a rugged old bastard who's seen some shit.
Don't ask questions that have answers that human minds cannot comprehend!
@@kevinclark8356 Understood Mr. Clark.
They angered the God of Blood and Madness😂
@@danolantern6030rookie mistake
Father helped birth an eldritch horror and still stuck around to be a loving father. This man is the greatest of us all.
True
I just realized the father is possibly the one to birth her... single dads have it rough man
he uses the machine, he's not loving.
@@ariannasv22mpreg mentioned
his wife is an eldritch horror.
I like to think the father is actually doing this to protect the boyfriend, but also the daughter doesn't actually want to do all of the things she does, it's all on accident.
Her dad seems nice.
She sounds like an angel.
No issues here.
Yeah, biblically accurate Angel lol
A biblically accurate angel.
@@bigbrotheredits you are literally a god. I worship your every atom. My life is yours.
biblically accurate daughter
Daughtercally accurate bib
casually has an eldrich beast as a daughter. cool.
change: mother, it seems i have achieved fame. this is an occasion to be commemorated for the years to come.
Having an eldritch beast as a girlfriend gotta be just as cool
To be honest this is such a cool concept. I would enjoy seeing this become a comic or a book :)
@@asirithwelzorn5907if you know this from experience, me and my friends would like to meet with you to discuss this. I’ll be the one in Red.
@@asirithwelzorn5907 There's a pretty popular webnovel based on that premise called The Stars Have Eyes. It can be read on RoyalRoad
yes that is the joke
The last one was somehow the most unexpected and threw me into the audible range of the machine.
Average mad scientist father
I guess you could say he's... somewhat of a... Mad Father
Professor X
@@rnaodmsomethingAyaaaaaaaa…
🎉😂😮😅😢😊❤️
Average SCP foundation father
She's a fae, be extra careful if she asks for your last name. It's not a marriage proposal
please explain the joke
@@Hyperboid they can steal your name and it gives them power over you, classic fae stuff.
@@Hyperboid for fae exchanging names is basically a mariage proposal, because you both have power over the other.
XD
@@SarahAbramova question, what happens if you give the fae a false name?
This sounds more like an SCP entry's Special Containment Procedures more than anything 😂
Yes, that's the joke.
and yet mfs will say they can fix her
(I'm mfs)
Make her worse
Fix her? She sounds perfect.
You cannot fix perfection.
She's perfect 😮🥰
Nah she's already perfect, she can however fix me
I love how the thumbnail is just your normal, average dad rules on dating his daughter, you know that stuff. Then BOOM, the total opposite of what I expected from the video, gun blazing, SCP level of threat, instructions from a horror game, etc.
I thought it would start like that, and end with a twist, but no, the whole thing is the twist.
If you look closely, you can see that the last line is in red, a clear calling card of the man in red
Yeah, because every father tells you not to resist in bright red as a rule.
okay "I have a shotgun" is a normal rule for you, you must have an interesting romantic life
@@Cala0314the father doesn’t say that part, the *man in red* does
1:35 Aw dang it! Everything was ok until this sentence.
1:50 yeah yeah get it. You fun killer!
real af
yeah everything else is watever but thats a real deal braker
"It's your responsibility to protect my daughter from the man in red"
Hell no, I'm not messing with Dante
Is bro going to revive the sinners?
dantehhh...
I love that these replies are about limbus company rather than devil may cry.
@@ilikedragons7765 I have no idea what they're talking about 🤣
@@Gangstablook limbus company is a pretty good game, and the main character is named Dante.
And to explain what the other two are talking about, the other main characters are referred to as the sinners. And Dante has the power to rewind time and bring them back to life.
And vergilius’s (Vergil) voice actor says Dante’s name in a very particular way which has become a meme, Danteh
Secure. Contain. Use Protection
SCUP
what the hell is the machine
More machines
That information is on need to know basis, and way over your pay grade.
All the information is on the task
I do not think her father knows, to be frank.
Knowing is dangerous all on its own.
"Babe would you love me if":
im about to turn gay and change my pronouns to she her so i can have a boyfriend and say "babe would you love me if _link of the video_ "
@@TheFoxX4that just means you’re transfem
@@TheFoxX4 Correct Response.
Underrated comment
@@TheFoxX4 underrated
How did a normal guy raise a fucking SCP without being found out by the Foundation and G.O.C?
Both the dad and the BF work at the Foundation, simple
Alternatively, they're members of Serpent's Hand
The fact that the parent is letting him date her despite all those rules means that they really, REALLY trust him.
Perhaps a "Boyfriend" is a suitable position/cover for a individual tasked with handling his daughter.
Maybe he's asking for help
I'd rather say they BELIEVE in his ability to survive.
Plot twist:This is a draft Father and Boyfriend wrote based on collective knowledge obtained through tests during dating
bro, this is Anomaly containtment procedure disguised as dating guide. Any D class who got assigned as the "boyfriend" and "father" is surveiled by SCP task force.
The dad must be an absolute gigachad, I mean, imagine her mother
Dad gave birth to her
@@dbb788 The cycle must continue 💀
Gigachad or simp ?
Her mother is Cthulu, it explains everything.
@@mrfrog0913
Cthulu: Mortal! How foolish of you to approach me!
Dad: Hi dear, I brought your favorite... Cake of tormented souls of screams and despair from 30 galaxies.
Cthulu: ....Thanks-
I love how it says "if SHE ever gets YOU pregnant", and not the other way around
Still more reasonable expectations than what you'd see in dating apps
"Bonus points if you have a scooter you can take me cool places on"
Lmfaoo fr
No words in my mind currently can describe how accurate your statement is.
Is his daughter an SCP or something?
Maybe
@@johannsanchocuevas7854murder drones fan spotted 😊
Its oddly specific yet vague enough to be an SCP procedure, so yeah.
Except, instead of containment its relationship.
@@ArtemisAYO Two fellow MD fans in the vicinity
Lmao@@ArtemisAYO
As the man in orange. I can agree. The man in red is weird. He licked my toes yesterday, and called my pookie. Luckily, his words don't work on me.
man in pink here, true that
Man in yellow here wait he licks your guys toes
As the man in blue, I'm thankful I haven't encountered him yet. God knows what he'd do to me.
man in green here. The Machine has stopped operating.
Of all the "rules for dating my daughter" lists I've seen, this is definitely one of the most reasonable and sane ones.
You have dated some "interesting" daughters if these rules are considered sane. 😳 You are also very lucky to have survived. 🍀
I once had the rule dictated to me: "If you have sex, I will throw you out of my truck at 50 miles per hour"
which I thought was reasonable enough
Your pfp...... Man in red?!?!?!?
i like this, despite the reality bending weirdness of his daughter he still wants her to have an active dating life, he's just giving the boyfriend all the necessary information to keep them both safe
This is going to get suggested to all of us in 5 years
I love how these type of lists usually start normal amd become weirder bit this one just comes out of the gate swingin like a madman
Notice that each rule starts out as a normal rule and has a twist thrown in each time, a subversion of the expectations
"she experiences no pain or visionary states while inside the machine" *first trumpet starts playing*
Its time to show what we're made of. Mountain of Smiling Bodies has broken out. Time to teach that damn thing a lesson.
The daughter is just Sancho
Am I late? I just got out of my containment unit
I can only imagine the horrors that father has seen for him to know all these rules
He learned each one the hard way, her mother was a terrifying being.
"Good afternoon, everyone! My name is Dr. Miller, and the SCP we'll be looking at today is..."
If you’d like to exchange notes on this subject, I can arrange a meeting. I’ll be the one on the red coat and hat.
@@matthiasneidenberger9471wait a second, *red?*
@@coned-up:re-
*Covers your mouth*
Wishpers Dont speak to it...
Hey friend how about taking a cup of coffe my treat *wishpering* :lets goo
@@nunomarques8736 why did you just say *covers your mouth* your literally just standing there
@@coned-up I think he meant to put **covers your mouth** as 1 set of asterisks bolds the words. you need 2.
me, my girlfriend, and the mysterious man in red who's always standing just barely out of my peripheral vision.
when are we getting an anime on that?
@@liam78587 When you add that time....
They are surprisingly flexible rules for dating an SCP.
New meaning to "I can fix her"
You cannot fix her, but she can rearrange your atoms.
Man in Red:
“There’s nothing to fix. She is the perfect weapon, tethered by that machine for the comfort of the soon to extinct Homo sapien race.
But if you want to try, go ahead. You’d make a great couple.”
@@matthiasneidenberger9471*doesn’t acknowledge*
acknowledge what?
☺️🙃🥴😅😘😌
It's hard to tell if he is trying to protect his demonic daughter from man in red, to protect boyfriend from his demonic daughter, or find an ally to not let his demonic daughter destroy the world.
I think it's all three.
That's because it's not "Or," it's "and."
I have the feeling the Man in Red is some kind of Ritualist who wants to use the daughter to cause Armageddon
I think he's trying to find a successor for the duty of containment of her cyborg/alien/demonic daughter who can prevent her from being abused in any capacity by the man in red
For some reason, the first statement scared me the most
I appreciate that the father doesnt see you as some kind of bad biker creep or anything, he understands that someone could find love for his daughter, but he still knows that, no matter how much he loves his daughter, you and the father are one step from sharing a foxhole to hide from her
Both of you love her a lot, but when she's extruding non-euclidean fluids out of her orifices into your mouth, well, sometimes people appreciate a heads up about that sort of thing.
Why am I actually invested in the lore? I want to know more about her, her potential partner, her dad and the man in red
Look behind you.
Look behind you.
Look behind you.
Look behind you
Look behind you.
There’s a whole novel’s worth of story here. This is the best prompt I’ve seen in a while
Yes indeed. Shame i think that is it.
“Use protection.”
He’s gonna say tactical armor or something, right?
“She might get YOU pregnant.”
WHAT THE FU-
This feels like it was written by one of the good SCP writers during their downtime. It has that same brand of humorous surreal horror where they write out just enough for your brain to fill in the blanks.
From the acclaimed book "Me, my stepfather and the eldritch abomination he spawned from beyond time and space as my girlfriend".
It's a rom-com.
I love that show, I gotta add it to my watchlist
average anime title
Is that real
@@Gameboi9865 Funnily enough, you'll be added to a watchlist if you are known to have read it.
@@comm_gt"in another world"
She's a keeper! The man in red told me so!
WHY DID YOU ACKNOWLEDGE HIM
who told you so?
ah, shit
This sounds like a family "honour code". In which the person may be an "honour killing" victim for breaking any of those rules.
“I can fix her.”
Famous last words.
screw this, i'll just date the man in red
Both ways you're the one getting pregnant, it's a lose lose situation
Best coment so far
bbut the nerve damage!
PLOT TWIST! DATE *BOTH!*
( ͡°❥ ͡°)
My theory is that *the man in red* is the actual biological father of the "girl"
He's another eldritch being, unlike the girl's "family"
Also he may have the power to invade other people's bodies, explaining why you could present his mannerisms after an encounter
I can go along with every rule except " *_Do NOT swallow anything she spits into your mouth_* ", that's a deal breaker for me ngl
french fries
even french fries?
@@dollYeva ESPECIALLY french fries.
@меффин my french is fried, only espanol
Not the getting you pregnant part?
vid was a LOT crazier than i expected from the thumbnail 😭😭
I feel like this would make a funny romcom.
Boy: "Honey! Did you open a rift to hell again?"
Girl: "ahgsuhasgfugasuyguyasgfyugasygufgagsyfg"
Boy: "*sigh*" (uses water spritzer)
Girl: "h-hey"
Boy: "I told you to keep your self under control."
That damn man in red has been standing by my window for 4 hours already. I'm running out of emergency incense.
I hate when that happens.
have you considered using a black key?
@@QuiteThunder At the cost of the chance to lose sight? no thanks
keep saying skill issue at him until he leaves.
@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563 but that would mean acknowledging him.
And we all know the consequences are [REDACTED]
Have you tried contracting with a fey? Sure you'd be trading one problem for another but at least it's not The Man in Red.
Very concerned that the daughter, who seems incredibly powerful, needs to be protected from the man in red. Other than that, the demands seem pretty reasonable.
it seems if you acknowledge anything he says it begins a spiritual contract. do technically you aren't in physical danger just much much worse
I think i need a rise.
Judging by the rules, it seems his daughter is a fusion of a mandrake, velociraptor, and xenomorph. Absolute SCP girlfriend
This guy has experienced all of it and written a comprehensive guide on what to do in every situation.
"In the event of my daughter summoning a sphere by accident, do not contact the authorities, we do not wish to add more victims"
I NEED MORE LORE ABOUT THE m a n i n r e d
1:49 The Scarlet King
Is it bad that I get that reference?
@@egod3445 nah it’s filmed like an SCP containment instructions
@@Anime_Oni I mean I guess it is
Yep
"Do not swallow anything she spits into your mouth"
I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Hal 9000?
Tf kinda weird shit is your ass into
The true question is whether she can swallow
0:15 but don't you already own her home?
What does that have to do with anything
@@user-gt5fy5ow4i idk
Evangellion ahh parent
get in the robot shinji
You want some Fanta
robot comment
*"It all returns to nothing"*
*"It all comes crumbling down, crumbling down crumbling doooown"*
This feels like an good horror movie premise. A teenage guy starts dating a girl from school, she's a bit weird a doesn't have any friends but he isn't put off by that and sees that she has a truley kind heart. They continue dating and everything is going well. Eventual he's invited to go and meet her parents. When he does at some point her dad pulls him aside a gives a long list of crytic rules for him to follow for, as he put it "For your safy and ours." and "as far as shes concerned, this convosation never happened.". He's a little shaken by all this but life contiues on.
And then over the cause of the film you watch as this girl turns into an abusive partner, and then an eldrich being, and the main character has to learn more tricks and survivel skills to avoid being hurt by all the weird anomalies that come with her.
He still loves her though
They both still love each other, she just can't stop herself.
I’d watch that
I feel you would struggle to make it serious. Would require a lot of skill from the team to pull off.
Completely disagree with the abusive partner part. I feel like this concept would only be make better if the couple GENIUENLY love each other (and is probably the only scenario logically where the father would even allow this to happen).
Shit I'm calling the Mobile Task Force, Global Occult Coalition, hell even the Chaos Insurgency too.
I like how the dad is still invested in his daughter having a good life. Like he cares for her despite all that, it's honestly sweet
I am often impressed by how your thumbnails look like they're giving the punchline away when they're not, but this one cranks that up to 100 😂
This is a post I would expect from burial goods, never from jeaney collects
"Cosmic Horror Dating Simulator"
This is oddly giving me ideas for a game.
"sucker for love"
Dating simulators are anything but games
@@manender1020 try slay the princess
@@ix67ml why should I
@@manender1020 it's a unique funny philosophical choose-your-own-adventure visual novel and barely a dating sim yet kinda is
“If she gets you pregnant, god help us all.”
Woah woah woah back up there if she gets ME pregnant??????
Whoever wrote this is a mad genius, and you are a saint, Jeaney, for bringing it to us
"But dad, I can fix her!" The girl in question:
all i remembered from that was "she spits in your mouth", and i think that's all that was important anyhow.
If she's a red flag, the Man in Red is the entire Khmer Rouge
Smash, next question.
This feels like it would be a really good horror game, imagine your clock goes back and you have to follow a specific set of instructions as you are just watched, where one mistake made on panic could kill y
IF SHE GETS YOU PREGNANT????????
…Is it bad that this exact specific statement is getting me interested in her?
I think so
@@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire i dont think so, and same
A man has nothing to fear but the fear ITSELF.
@@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire Same
Instructions unclear: I'm havin a feather in THE LEFT HAND and I have peculiar need to SWALLOW IT.
WHAT TO DO?
I'm sorry, you're already lost. The least I can do is pray for your immortal soul.
swallow it
trust me bro
We wish you the best of luck. You are now forever bonded to her and have gained immortality. You will slowly become a creature capable of surviving her and passing as an Eldritch Creature, albeit a less horrific one.
Brothers and sisters we are here gathered for our beloved sibling, piortr_jurkiewixz.
*_He swallowed the feather_*
@@Con_123 We tried to warn them, but hopefully they are in a better place.
“EPSILION-11 NINE-TAILED FOX GO CONTAIN OR SOMETHING, man I deal with water anomalies i aint cut out for *THIS* anomaly”
so the threats are:
girlfriend (aka your daughter)
the man in red
the machine maybe.
I could see if I survive
and potentially The Sphere
feather
Anything she spits into your mouth
20/20/20 mode ONLY.
She's just my type❤
"ok so that is the rules"
"dawg, that is bad..."
"i'm in, where is that baddie?"
"excuse? how did you call my daughter??"