This D&D player LOST HER MIND over a chair | D&D Horror Story
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- Опубликовано: 17 май 2024
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It's not often that D&D players go berserk over something as simple as a chair...or maybe it is?
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I don't even think it needs a prewarning. I wouldn't feel the need to defend my chairs honour 😂
Honestly, upon learning of the idea, I'm probably gonna start taking my chair too XD
Honestly yeah, I think Luke's example of the lead-up conversation was overdone. Like tell them a bit about how you're grateful and whatnot but "if it's ok with you, I'd like to relieve my pain" is a bit much. Not really a criticism of Luke cuz it was just off the cuff but yk.
So they brought their own folding chair. I would be cool with that; I'd even let the keep it at my place between sessions if I had space for it. I would not feel offended or "disrespected" If someone doesn't like my cheap garage-sale folding chairs.
What a dumb question and situation in general. If you can't offer anything better than a folding chair to your players - they deserve to be able to bring wtfever they wish.
* Brings ASoIaF accurate Iron Throne to Luke's table.
Luke: "NO! How many times do I have to tell you. I don't have room for any more players."
Me (staring down from throne): "Can I just watch? I'll be quiet, nobody will even notice that I'm here."
Rebuttal:
If a person brought a bottle of water to a D&D session, would the host be justified getting upset because the person isn't drinking from their tap and they didn't inform the host first that they would be bringing their own water?
The scenario he presented of having to advance-apologize and go overboard to make sure the host's fee fees weren't hurt is ridiculous. No one is going to do that because the Host's massive over reaction is so ridiculous.
@@fred_derf Your taking his words out of context. He saying firstly show and be grateful that the host is hosting you/everyone in the gaming group, secondly he is saying is bring up the issue and provide context on why something the host is doing, aka in the scenario providing cheap folding chairs, is harmful to you and lastly explain why you are bringing your own thing to fix the issue.
@@kingwildcat6192000, writes _"Your taking his words out of context."_
I disagree, his "example" words were overly simping and implied that the host is an insane person who takes massive offense at extraordinarily minor issues. Normalizing such behaviour should not be encouraged.
rebuttal to your rebuttal: bringing your own drink is a very normal thing to do. carrying a bottle of water is very easy and takes no effort at all. by contrast, bringing an entire chair is very unusual and getting it into your car, carrying up the stairs etc is a nontrivial amount of effort. this is therefore not a fair comparison. it would be more like if you brought one of those whole entire water dispenser jugs for everybody to use. putting an unusual amount of effort into solving a problem that you feel your host has, without ever mentioning it to them, is absolutely an impolite thing to do. you would be making your host look bad, as if they cannot provide the bare minimum for their guests. you are depriving your host from the opportunity to resolve the problem. your host is almost certainly going to feel hurt and insulted by this.
@@fred_derf I was referring to the fact Fred was taking the DMLairs words out of context. You act like talking to someone having some respect for someone and saying you have gratitude for what they do for you/the group is an issue. Even more so when you consider something they are doing, most likely unintentional, is causing people to be hurt/uncomfortable. Did the host over react, def, was it called for? Honestly yes given that from the way OP in the vid told his side of the story, he never talked to the host about the issue till the day he brought his own chair to the dude's place. Imagine you make a 5 star meal and every time your friends come over they say nothing about how the food you make lacks any flavor and burns worse than Taco Bell hours later than one of your friends comes over one night with his own meal without saying a word till than.
I can imagine Luke's players pranking him. They all bring their own chairs, the most gaudy looking ones they can find. For his online game everyone shows off the chairs they're sitting in.
that would be PURE GOLD! I hope they do it. lol
Character themed chairs lol.
If I ran a game at my house, I'd have my recliner at the table and everyone else has to stand.
Your chair is earned. LMAO!
As long as the chair you're bringing isn't some oversized behemoth that gets in the way of other players or causes a game slowdown or some other logistical issues, then I don't see any problem. And there is no requirement for it to be discussed ahead of time.
"It's amazing how many problems in our games could be avoided by talking to people"
GOD
Truer words have NEVER been spoken!!!
I'm starting a channel. I'll be sending people to your page for this sort of thing.
No point rehashing what other DMs have already said... and, DAMN, Luke - if people would talk to each other - how MANY problems we could avoid!!
There are 3 sides to every story: Yours. Mine. The Truth.
I built my own hexagonal gaming table with a built-in screen for digital maps (I'd be happy to show off some pictures if people want to see it, I plan on making them to sell). The only thing I didn't really have were chairs, so my players all brought chairs for themselves. That has worked out fantastically. Everybody has a chair they find comfortable.
I've played at many tables though with uncomfortable seating, I get wanting something that doesn't mess you up after a few hours of playing. A simpler solution, though, would be to bring a decent seat cushion.
I wouldn't mind at all one of my friends bringing their own chair if they felt that they needed it. They wouldn't even need to warn me about it. 6-7 hours is a long time to have your butt in a regular portable chair. Even my nice dining table chairs are a right proverbial pain in the gluteus maximus for that sort of time.
How long am I supposed to be uncomfortable physically for you not to be uncomfortable socially???
Did they think about bringing a seat pad instead of a whole chair?
Folding chairs don't hold those well
I think the issue here is that the Host didn't feel like OP was really interacting with them. It's probably not even about the chair.
It's called people who have no emotional discipline.
Bacon. I would not have minded someone bringing a chair at all! Especially if it's to keep them comfortable
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At age 47 and with significant health issues, we provide my wife a special chair. It allows her to play without being in crippling pain. Anyone petty enough to take issue with that would never be invited to my table in the first place.
Deciding who plays in your game is the single most important decision any DM will ever make for their game. It may not be sexy enough to make videos about (which probably explains why I’ve watched hundreds of D&D videos and never seen the issue discussed) but it’s the truth. At least that is what 37 years of dungeon mastering has taught me.
Good luck out there.
Play what you love, love what you play.
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AITA for bringing my own chair?
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I guess you could say the host doesn’t have a lot of chairacter. .
NTA, the host should've been considerate of her players
That's it! I'm implementing a BYOC (Bring your own chair) in all future games. lol.
My couch is broken. Furniture is expensive. Friend of mine brings a theow pillow so the couch doesnt eat him. I am not offended. He actually asked me before the mist recent canpaign "is your couch still going to try toneat me?" "Yes." "Okay, ill bring a pillow " "Good idea."
I was lucky as a dm, i lived eith 6 of my 7 players in a big 3 family household and worked with the 7th. We could play anytime anyday long as people werent working
Yes, ASKING first, is an important part of the equation that was not presented.
Refer this issue to the team bard.
As someone who hosts games for my D&D group, I wouldn't give a flying F about a player bringing a chair! 😂 I'd just laugh it off and get on with the game. If they want to go through the effort to drag a chair over to my place that's all on them.
I think the fact that it was posted on Reddit does present this notion that the OP likely wasn't as good natured in their explanation to the host as their words imply. However, as someone whose worked in a management/supervisor position and as a DM + host to my games I can say that the receiving end needs to have the skills to read a situation and pick their battles. As Luke said, " It's just a chair."
If I was in a position where someone was rude about the chairs I gave them then I would be inclined to see it from their perspective; while I don't have to agree to how they approached it, the fact remains that the chair is causing issues for them, and I would have no issues with them bringing their own chair. As for any rude approach to it I would just ignore that; the buck has to stop at someone and if I indulge in a back and forth argument I'm just as guilty at that point of causing the tension.
I would love a series of Classic Pathfinder 2nd edition rules and advice.
This seems like it's about more than a chair... I used to have game night at my apartment, and if someone needed to bring a chair, fine by me.. and they could even leave it if they wanted, as long as it wasn't a huge thing that took up all the available space.
Tbf there were times in my old DND group where I wish I had brought my own chair.
My last DM was... more than just a pudgy guy, so the middle wooden part between the chair legs that is locking them in place, preventing the legs to split in two different directions and the chair to break were loose on all his chairs. Even the seat part of some were slightly broken because his weight damaged them from regular all day use (without us meeting up for DND), and the alternative would have been to play on a leather couch that's way too inclined to sit comfortably without any back rest.
It never came to it but yeaaa the chairs were not super comfy after 4-5 hours
It's weird to being your own chair. It's weirder to care if someone brought their own chair.
If my players ever have any type of issue, please come speak with me about it. I can find you a better chair, or you can bring one. Is it too cold or hot, is the music too loud or quiet? Please let me know before it becomes a problem.
As long as they aren’t asking me to provide a new chair for em, what difference does it make even if they gave no explanation whatsoever?
Who ever calls 911 first, wins.
This is so dumb. Seriously. Why not just call and ask if your host would mind if you brought your own chair and why, and just be friggin honest? It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Some metal folding chairs totally suck. I prefer to sit up straight, and maintain good posture. Some metal chairs are made to be leaned back on. It's also amazing that people these days have to walk on egg shells for fear of offending someone. I don't know how kids these days would have survived when I grew up. We picked on each other constantly, and it was fun. To put this in perspective, I was at Subway ordering a sandwich, and was chatting with my friend that works there. We weren't loud or anything, but naturally, this clown who was sitting in the dining room decided to get up, and pester us. He said he was offended by what we were talking about. No one invited this clown in on the conversation, and it's rude to butt in. I made it perfectly clear to this idiot that demanding I talk about something he cares about was never going to happen, and I'm pretty sure he will never pester me again. People are just looking for something to complain about these days, and seriously, it needs to stop. I'm shocked he didn't pull out his phone, and start recording me. He woulda been walking funny for a week after what I would have done with that phone. The thing to remember is that whoever you are, you are not the center of the universe. Just learn to be cool with stuff, and let certain things slide. When you do host a game, be sure to ask after the game if things went well, and try to make everyone feel comfy. Also, be clear about any limits you have as well.
Thats hilarious..when we as a group of guys meet together for playing smashbros, we had constant chatting about the good or bad TVs we own and about the input lag from each of them. Less = better
Also the size of them and how far away we are and what the sweet spot is in terms of good visuals and acces to the position you can sit, so everyone can see.
We came to the conclusion that one of us had the one with more input lag ( mine ) and the other one had one with a smaller screen which was no optimized, because we were to far away from the screen to have good visuals.
The solution was to buy a bigger one.
Why not take it as a host as a wink to yourself, instead of am insult. Well... Maybe I should upgrade my gear to be a more better host for my guests?
I mean, I don't know what her technical stats are, some people have problems with normal chairs tough, some not, but for longer DnD sessions at least middle-class chairs are a must have like a table which is big enough for all to sit around and write on it.
But having nothing not only means that you don't care for your guests, it just means you are also a bad host. You should be able to offer at least something.
Nobody expects a Lounge room, or a full packed DnD basement, but a little bit should be there, to play the games you want together properly..
Since you are a guest in the GM's home, if you have an issue with comfort, the better approach would be to mention it (preferably in person) between game sessions, so you don't embarrass the host in their own home in front of guests, which I think was the main reason for the cold shoulder.
right? why is everyone acting like the host has no right to feel hurt or ashamed at the implication that they were unable to provide for their guests?
Anyone that feels slighted by furniture has other things going on. Often, unusual or "unreasonable" behavior comes from a deeper place. Resentment and malcontent has been there all along, and you just missed it. Only noticing it at some random point in its most likely much longer lifespan.
Edit- think about the people in your life you don't like. Everything they do annoys you.
Insecurity is also a reason.
I think it might be embarrassment over not having proper chairs.
damn i wish i could player more then 2-3hours a sessions
You are so right. But I do think they are omitting something; it seems a little extreme to be upset about that alone. I think he probably left the seat up in the hosts bathroom or something like that, girls go nuts over that kind of stuff. Or, maybe his chair was actually a ergonomic port-o-potty.
As a girl, I'd like to point out that I've never gone nuts over leaving the toilet seat up. As long as they flush it first ;)
…If I were a GM, and someone brought their own chair, I wouldn’t care. It’s a chair, probably the same ones I use every day. Everyday chairs probably don’t need to house three different butts over the course of half as many days, it’s not gonna be insulted if you want to use a different chair, and neither would I. What is _wrong_ with this DM?
I agree. DM is wrong. If a player happened to bring your favorite beer and shared I bet you wouldn't complain.
If I am hosting and a player in my group brought a chair without saying anything beforehand - I would not care at all. Not one bit.
I don't need an explanation. No need for a conversation beforehand. Them bringing a chair doesn't influence me in any way.
The only time I would care would be if I had an expensive floor and their chair didn't have padded feet or something. I'm totally down with people being comfortable, I'm not down with them damaging my home.
Next week? I would say just don't go lol
I don't get why you wouldn't discuss this kind of issue with the host instead of just randomly showing up with your own furniture and not acknowledging it until asked.
Who knows, maybe the host has a different chair you can use that will address the issue, and thus negate the "need" to BYOC.
Luke quoting from the Bible in a D&D video makes me love him even more than I thought I could! That’s awesome!
If you can afford it, buy a set of these comfortable folding chairs and present it as a thank you gift to the person hosting the D&D group and as a treat to the group etc. If you are not financially secure enough to do that, privately speak to the host and preface that you know chairs are expensive and you realize this is the kind of thing that is easy to overlook, but it really means a lot to you personally that you use your own chair. Otherwise, if the host is poor, they will take it as a slight against them because poverty is viewed as a moral failing and has a lot of internalized shame in America; if the host is wealthy, they will feel like you are an ungrateful bastard (because rich people think everything revolves around them, and will perceive the event under the lens of how this is must be designed to cause them to lose social standing by making a scene of how bad their chairs are, which speaks to them as a person being garbage for having bad chairs and so on, whether or not they realize they are thinking this consciously). You need to have a "OOC" (out of character) conversation in real life, as in stepping out of this play we are all acting in that we call life, where we pretend ego and social conventions matter, and just explain directly what is going on and how it isn't any reflection on them as a person and that you are incredibly grateful for everything they are doing and would never expect them to pay for your own "issue" (frame it as a personal problem of yours, not as something you expect to be relatable, and then that allows them to be magnanimous and say things like "oh no, I understand, yeah I really didn't think about that but you are so right" etc and feel like they are a good person). As a side note, I am autistic, so I have to break down social interactions into these kinds of observations and quantized processes that aren't at all intuitive. And if you are particularly financially better off than the other players, you should be putting more money into the group than them; don't be that stingy rich person who thinks everyone needs to contribute the same amount of money when meritocracy is an obvious lie. If you are not rich, and someone else who has a lot more money than you is paying for a lot of things for the group, don't feel ashamed you can't contribute as much money. Everyone should be contributing what they think the session is worth weighed against their means, and if that means buying a set of chairs to one person, they should do that (and be magnanimous about it, first discussing it with the host and then humbly presenting it as a surprise gift to the party because you love your group and wanted to do something nice, making it clear you don't expect reciprocal investments of money). People define themselves far too much by their wealth and their job, and that is a hindrance that needs to be overcome to improve life for everyone around you by realizing we are all just people who want to be having the best time possible and contributing the best way we can towards that.
That would be my response to the original poster.
OMG no. If the OP had told the host "Your chairs suck!" that would have been "not navigating the situation correctly." If OP had brought a $1500 swivel chair that might have been something to get upset over. But the host provided what she had, which was the cheapest folding chairs in existence, and instead of bitching & whining & pissing & moaning to the host about it, OP just low-key brought a functional alternative, and wasnt even the one to call attention to it. Host was the only one throwing a temper tantrum, and the only one out of line.
Over folding chairs? Lol. Like if i have nice well made comfortable chairs and someone insists on bringing in like a recliner every week or something then yeah i could see being annoyed but over folding chairs? Insane.
I used to bring a flask of coffee to the game, because the host’s tea was awful 🤮We had all told him that his brews tasted like he’d washed his willy in the teapot. It was a running gag at the table.
I’ve seen the entire cast of critical role lose their mind over a chair as well so somehow this doesn’t surprise me
P.S. I’ve only read the title of the video so far
i host/dm at my place. if someone brought it up in anyway at all, i wouldnt care at all. if they randomly did it, it might feel bad. nobody likes the creeping thought of " im not doing good enough" especially when your offering up your space/ style of living to others.
I think we should bring back duels lets see how butt hurt people really are.
Oh there wouldn't be nearly as many disputes if they were actual consequences like that.
Seriously just saying I'd like to bring a more comfortable chair should be acceptable
Only 6 hours... when my friends and I play we start at 9 am and go until midnight with breaks for lunch and dinner, and I always thought this was normal for a game session.
Sorry, the host is the problem for being an ass over a total non-issue. The host needs to grow up.
Gaming chairs suck. You need a nice office chair Luke. Haha
I expect that the host's "icy" demeanor may have been a product of embarrassment, not anger. She might put a lot of stock in other people's opinions of her as a host, or she may only have folding chairs because she can't afford anything better (chairs can be expensive). A simple "your chairs are uncomfortable" can sound a lot like "I think you're a terrible host" when you have low self-confidence, especially if you're a woman. We have a tendency to overthink things that most guys take at face value, and take criticism more harshly than it may have been intended. Doubly so if it's said in front of other people, because now you've also made us feel bad in front of our friends. It might seem silly or pointless to some, but just a quick email/PM/chat about it would likely have saved a lot of awkwardness for both parties.
F...second!
I'm wondering if these are adults. I honestly couldn't imagine any adult at our table who would have this awkward a dynamic. Pouting over a chair is pointing to some outside stresses that are leaking into the game night. It's a chair. Unless they roll up with a Eames Chair or a La-z-Boy I honestly wouldn't give a toss if they had their own chair. Just don't scuff my floor with it.
If it's not a chair they become unhinged over, it's _going_ to be something in the game that they will have a meltdown over. My advice to the OP would be to gracefully bow out and maybe find another group, because this was just the fart before the hurricane.
Woman logic
Women ☕
Hey luke, am I supposed to get on my knees and gravel every time I try to alleviate myself from pain, when I come to one of your games cuz it just sounds stupid to me.
Someone didn't watch the video.
@@theDMLair
No, I very much did watch the video. And in the end, you did say you didn't give a crap one way or another if someone brought their own chair to your game, as long as they didn't do damage to your house. Going on the pattern that movers, since they don't have any stake in the home,tend to do at least moderate damage to your homes in the past, when moving things. I've never had such problems myself. I always move my own furniture.
My point what about the groveling nature of the response, you gave to this person's posting about they're having a problem with the host of their d&d game.
The entire time, you kept saying there was a better way to handle it. And in the entire time, the example of the better way of handling it you gave, was very sniveling and groveling. As if someone were so afraid of offending someone, or hurting their feelings, that they were almost too scared to speak.
"I am so grateful you're hosting us. There's nothing wrong with your chair, except that it causes my back pain. And I have a medical issue." Which in the original post, the OP never claimed to have a medical issue, as the reason they we're experiencing pain. Their reasoning, as explained, was the fact that the chairs were cheap and badly manufactured. And simply uncomfortable. "And I'm so sorry, and I don't mean to offend, and is there any way possibly that I could maybe by chance bring my own chair, so I'm not sitting there in constant pain. You know, because the medical issue I never even actually said I had."
That was the part of your video I took issue with. And I simply replied with, if someone's chairs are so cheap that they're causing you pain, you should be able to bring your own chair, without someone getting so butt hurt over it, they try to get you to be ostracized by your group, simply because you don't want to be in pain. And no, you should not have to pre-approve this with that hosts. As long as you bringing the chair and taking it away again, as you said, does not damage your home in any way, get in the way of the actual game, or somehow call the actual physical damage to something or someone, then no, there should be no expectation of any forewarning that you're going to be bringing your own chair.
Supposedly everyone in that game was adults, and as adults we should not have to raise their hand and ask for permission to bring a chair. Like children in a classroom. And again, my main point of the of the previous comment, what's the fact that I simply didn't like the whole sniveling groveling attitude you had about the entire situation. And you kept saying that both parties went about it the wrong way. No. The guy didn't do anything wrong. He brought a chair that was more comfortable for him, to a game that he was going to be sitting at for 6 hours. And for someone to get offended, or get they're little feelings hurt, because someone didn't find their cheap fold up chairs comfortable enough... I mean what could have even been the hosts legitimate reason for being angry, that the guy brought his own chair. Even if he literally did so, without any "forewarning" (because apparently our world has gotten so soft, that we need trigger warnings for bringing over a trivial piece of furniture) and when asked about it, tersely said "your chairs are uncomfortable so I had to bring my own so I wasn't in pain the entire time," what could the host truly be offended over?
And literally the only answer to that question, if she got her feelings hurt, because he didn't like her chair. Which is ridiculous, to the nth degree. So they didn't both go about it the wrong way. The guy acted like a normal human being. And the woman acted like a crazy person. Who got her feelings hurt because someone didn't like her chair. And apparently, from what little context there is, would probably get offended for someone not eating the meat lovers Pizza that she ordered for everyone, simply because they're a vegetarian. That's stupid. All I'm trying to say is that if someone has to kowtow around to someone's emotional fragility in such a situation, I call bullchit. Plus, when you gave the "example way the guy should have handled the situation" you sounded like a complete and total coward.
So again, I did watch the video. In its entirety. And simply because I disagree with you on something,and tried to point out that you may have been wrong about something, you seem to have got offended enough yourself to reply. In which case, you kind of sound like the woman who got offended someone didn't like her chair. Which, if that's true, then I would simply have to lose all respect for you that I have had to this point.
Anyways, other than a simple disagreement, I actually enjoy most of your videos. I find them entertaining, helpful, and educational. I was simply making a point, that I thought you went about "this situation" incorrectly. Giving people bad advice. While also making yourself sound some what cowardly. And like I said, I did have at least a modicum of respect for you, and your opinions on such topics. And I hate seeing decent people being kowtowed bye modern hypersensitivity into feeling as though you owe someone apology, for doing something completely normal and natural. That' all my point was.
Anyways, I hope you have a good rest of your day.
So, I'm expected to sit in this super uncomfortable chair for 6 hours that hurts my back. No thank you. And so what if I bring my own chair, what's it to anybody else. Look, that's one of your chairs I'm not putting wear and tear on. No, no conversation needed. You do not have to grovel, and explain yourself, to someone while you brought your own chair. It's completely Normal.
I hosted a game a few years ago. It only went on for like 3 months, before everyone had "scheduling issues." I couldn't make it any more. In my opinion, is because the DM kind of sucked. No offense to the dude. It was his first campaign, I don't know what the people that were expecting. I thought it was kind of fun, if a little goofy.
Anyways, we all sat at a large, wooden dining table. With two leap inserts in it, because we had eight players, 4 to either side, and the dungeon master at the head of the table. And the chairs that go with that table, or hi back, hardwood chairs, with leather cushions with built-in lumbar support. Because most of the people in my family have bad back problems. So I literally spent close to $300 a chair, for those chairs. And yes, I let a bunch of idiots, kids, while we're around in those chairs to play d&d for 3 and 4 hours at a time. But if someone said that my chairs were hurting their back, so they brought their own weird fold-up chair, instead of sitting in my $300 back supporting chairs, I would have had no problem whatsoever.
No conversation needed. As long as the thing is not going to damage my carpet, I could give a flying flip. So no, the woman in this story, is the problem. He gets upset over someone bringing their own chair, because they're in pain. That's ridiculous to the nth degree. How stupid.