Why Women Must Control Their Desire to Look Beautiful | Nouman Ali Khan
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- Опубликовано: 12 янв 2025
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Video Summary:
The speaker explains that both men and women have natural desires: men desire to look at beauty, while women desire to look beautiful. Allah commands men to lower their gaze and women to control their desire to appear beautiful. This struggle is difficult for both, but it’s essential to protect their hearts and maintain inner purity. The purpose of hijab and these commands is to safeguard the heart from these strong impulses.
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This is soo true. We women fight this desire to look beautiful every single day
Yes, but it’s not always to attract random perves on the street.
@@misbahailia3345 Yes! taking care of yourself and being put together versus trying to look hot and attract someone’s gaze are so different.
@@misbahailia3345. If you are attracting pervs, then you are also doing something to attract them.
@misbahailia3345 yes is literally we women want attention more then men
I think there's a kind of satisfaction if you can pull your best outfit. You feel happier, your day go smoothly, etc. Thats why we have bad hair day or even bad hijab day 😂
As a woman, this is so true.
Yea sometimes the idea comes..to not wear hijab and see how people react 😂
Not entirely. He says about us wanting to look good to prove we can look better than another, thats not true for majority of us we do it for our own selves. I almost never go out and do my hair nice clothes makeup etc whereas if I have to be around ppl I tone it down. Why because my real inner self wants to look good for my own satisfaction and this I true even for elderly women and women on their deathbed like my aunt. She did her Hai and lipstick as be she could to keep her spirit up same with my grandma but she put flowers I her Hai not makeup but saris etc at home when she didn't have to b around outsiders. We do it for our own satisfaction so the struggle is in that.
@@AfridiZindabad what’s wrong with taking care of your appearance for yourself…? Taking care of yourself shows that you value the body Allah (swt) has entrusted you with and that you have self-respect.
@@AfridiZindabad liberal af response
@@khadi818 its about controling desires...
The fact it's already mentioned in Quran makes me feel so good and touched. And I'm so blessed being a muslimah Alhumdullilah for everything Allah blessed me with..
Which ayat??
@@wajihaansari4933
So is one brought up in ornaments while being during conflict unevident [attributed to Allāh]?
Allah means [the little girl]
finally someone said this, people think that hijab is made for men, like so that they don't give in to desires, but no, first of all hijab saves a woman from not giving in to her desires
I'm dumbfounded by the accuracy of his words, and I'm really happy that someone, especially a man finally saw what was happening and talked about it. I've been a hijabi woman for years and I've always been in love with looking beautiful and attracting attention. It's important that we recognize these things, and as he said, everytime i see a beautiful woman (i appreciate her beauty elhamdülillah I'm not always dying of jealousy) i think the same thing: I'm so much prettier, like if i wasnt wearing hijab (sorry for my wording but that's how i feel) i would be such a hottie, i would wrap every man in this room around my finger. I have so many assets, beautiful hair beautiful body etc etc but I'm not showing it as much. And im proud of that. And I'm happy that after years of isolation and loneliness i found a man that valued me above all and Allah granted him to me as my husband. I'm so grateful that my beauty is special to him and only him, who valued me as a person first and didnt try to take advantage of me, bc I've been there also. Some men seem interested and then when they understand youre not going to bend your standards/ rules, they take a U turn and disappear, and it's rather heartbreaking, really. You see what they were actually after. I pray that every saliha woman is rewarded with a good pious husband and also infinite gifts from Allah
Hey my pfp and u pfp is th same girll
Ma Sha' Allah
Subhan'Allah this is the first time I hear another girl describe *exactly* the same struggle I go through all the time. I felt like it made me really bad to feel this way so hearing another muslimah say it so transparently seriously means a lot. It's hard expecially if you have crushes and you know exactly how you could "get" him but that you shouldn't engage with a)him at all lol and b) use your beauty😭
❤❤❤❤
@@genevieveohara5360exactly! But I don't know, if there is someone who i am interested in, how can I talk to him about it?
I teared up when he said “I feel so ugly” because my insecurities are so high some days it genuinely ruins my whole day and self perception, I know I’m doing it for Allah swt so sure it reassures me but deep down it’s so hard but then again every struggle will have its reward InshAllah
Ameen ❤ Don't always look in the mirror, sometimes let go! I realized that when i don't do makeup and don't even look in mirror, i feel very beautiful and free! Like i'm so light. Because i kinda know that when i look to the mirror i can focus on my acne etc. But it's actualy OK and normal. Allah gave it for a reason ❣️ Women are pretty don't fight with yourself 🌸🌸🌸🌸⚘️💝❤️🎀🌷☪️💟🤍
True. I dont feel pretty in hijab much.. 😅
now as a women i finally understand why it is so hard for men. i always used to wonder how difficult it would be to control your desire about men, we women do it. but this example made it so clear that somethings are too hard to let go and it is an everyday struggle.
Same here! I never really understood it before
Alhamdullilah, it's nice when both genders understand the struggles of each other without undermining each other.
Being a woman, i never takes efforts to look beautiful. I just accept what i am and im happy
As a woman, this is so spot on, soooo relatable and makes so much sense! Never heard it like this before. Jazaak Allah Khair.
MA he put the feelings of women so aptly. I'm amazed at how he speaks from a place of so much understanding of human psychology. Never heard anyone drawing this analogy of desires of both genders. Mind blowing
Do you honestly feel competitive towards other women when out and about, because imo he truly misunderstood that part. The satisfaction and artistic joy and self respect of looking good and adorned is not to do with competition as If proving we can look better than someone else.😂 great video and message but he was misunderstanding that bit.
@@AfridiZindabad He said that Allah puts the desire to all women. Just because you are not feeling it or women around you don't feel that, or you simply don't meet any women like that in your life, that doesn't mean that all women since Adam and Hawa, don't feel the competition toward another women, regarding to look beautiful. Its Women's fitrah, not only Muslim women. The difference is Muslim women are told by Allah to control the desire. But, what about another women who are non Muslim? What about women who lived before Islam came? Another women in another part of this world?
I think you are the one who misunderstood here.
@@d.k.hapsari6030in total honesty, never in my life, as a Muslim female growing up in California and consuming the filth of western pop culture did I feel the need to “compete” with females, real life or otherwise
I was hyper focused more on me and my “mind”
I only felt a sense of competition later in life, once I got married in my late 20s
And this only came about after hearing jokes about my husband getting a second wife
Even this is natural, but such an unhealthy thing for the mind to consistently ponder and worry about
@@AfridiZindabad Salam Alaikum, I think what youre saying might be accurate for yourself but doesn't to apply for all, im an example, I do feel competitiveness and the women that agree in the comments too. Have a beautiful day and may Allah bless you.
Bingo!! You were right about Hijabi women...this happens when we go to weddings or when others praise the uncovered ladies.
Before I wore hijab I noticed a big difference when I wore it versus when I had it off. Uncovered women are going to be complimented by men AND women while as a hijabi I was only complimented by women. There is a massive difference and it proves hijab and covering yourself is just trying to protect women. It was never oppressive.
I got approached by men in my hijab. Both non Muslims and Muslims. People both men and women need to control themselves
but its not why it was ordered it was so that men dont hv desires when they see women hair and bodies
i literally started crying because this is something i struggle with every single second and its the first time im hearing it being acknowledged. nouman ali khan always gets it right, may allah give him jazzah.
That's what I'm practicing.... to cover myself
May Allah help us to cover ourselves..... In sha allah❤
This is totally my story😂😂😂 i laughed while watching this reel. But now Allah is happy with me coz i am controlling my desire in every second
Are you pretty?
It should be worded correctly as women must control their desire to show beauty. Looking beautiful is not haram, but showing beauty to non mahrams is.
The desire to look beautiful can turn into harm as you go beyond your 30s. Women my age are not worried about non mahrams especially after getting married and having kids. Not many men are going to be that attracted to you like when you’re pregnant and have two kids but the desire to look beautiful continues. You age and you don’t want to lose your looks so you feel awful. Even with Botox or cosmetic treatments unless you control it yourself it will consume you. I’ve noticed it’s hard for me to control the desire to not pluck my eyebrows, not because of non mahrams but because I myself don’t feel beautiful enough.
Lets be honest here. Women do want the affirmation from men. Thats why it is difficult. No much how much you look good alone it doesn't matter if there is no one to make you feel that way.
@@rjameel.I can assure you that's not the case for every woman. Even if there is no man, it is still the same.
It’s very difficult:( Looking at women doesnt benefit men socially, financially, and professionally, but our looks are social currency. This is an excellent reminder. Jazakum Allah kheir for posting
This is so true as a woman myself. Taking care of yourself and being put together versus trying to look hot and attract a man’s gaze are so different. I grew up in a society where women are spending large amounts of money on makeup, clothing, expensive brands, jewelry, then getting with every guy they can get with. Before marriage they get with at LEAST 10 different dudes, it isn’t the majority, but it’s definitely normalized.
I didn’t really understand it much before, but by revealing beauty and by exposing your body, the wrong type of men will be attracted. The kind that’ll take advantage of you. Allah’s words have a reason for everything.
Tottally true.❤
MashaAllah…Its so pretty that Allah have mentioned in Quran everything so deeply …but we people are unaware…
Beautifully explained these verse…MashaAllah..SubhanAllah🤍🤍
yes, as a woman I will say yes, sometimes passing by shops or sitting on the internet you see beautiful dresses and want to wear them to be beautiful to show it to the whole world, but you remember that you are a Muslim
As woman, this is true. i am born in family muslim in indonesia. In my experience, when i still 12 year old, i am still not wearing hijab, the food trader man watching me with hungry eyes. in 14 year i learn wearing hijab, but i don't get permitted from my family. In 21 year i am wear hijab, when my hijab is still 3 piece. My aunty got angry, but i am more afraid wrath Allah. Alhamdulillah until now 45 year old, i am wear hijab.
Great explanation.
Truly, I feel so much more beautiful in hijab than without … I feel protected. Alhamdulillah for Islam , reverted August 2023.
So true. But the problem is when women don't get appreciation at home they start expecting it from others.
I am glad to hear things I have been fighting with inside of me. I have been just divorced and I felt undesirable, ugly, unwanted. Now, I embrace my beauty as a woman. I dont need someone to praise my beauty so that I can believe that I am beautiful enough. I know someday I will find a good one who will love me unconditionally.❤😊😏
insha'Allah
This really showed how fair Allah and how he created the world with such balance SubhanAllah ❤❤
Very beautiful video jazak Allah khair ❤
O my God, the comparison he made! this is one of the most accurate videos i've ever watched..mindblowingly true
Alhamdulillah.. I love to cover myself because this is Order of Allah.❤
The internal fights we gotta go through, so nice that he gave that recognition. May Allah guide us and help us with our struggles and we genuinely love people Ameen❤
100% true. I wear the hijab and somedays I feel like I can't get it right. To anyone else it will probably look the same but my eyes can see the smallest thing like the tiny little fold that's wrong. This desire to look perfect cannot be cured but the best among us those who control it for the sake of Allah.
The right way to recite the aya : أَوَمَن يُنَشَّأُ فِي الْحِلْيَةِ
Barak Allah feek
SubhanAllah, the thing that we are covered outside with all that struggle, forces us to look as pretty as possible at home in front of our husbands 😅 I put perfume, nice clothes and make my hairstyles at home. And this changed our marriage to soooo much better, Alhamdulillyah.
Good to hear it 👍
surah "nur", translates to The Light. In short, men lower gaze and women cover to protect the light of faith in their heart (and hearts of other believers)
Some people say that women are making themselves beautiful to attract men. As a woman I can say, we do it for the other women 😂 I don't look what men are wearing, but I always look at women 😂
Then why do woman cheat? If they dont dress to attract men?
same lol
Don’t try to support the idea that you are allowed to dress hot and attract others. Being put together and clean versus attracting others are VERY different. It’s possible to make mistakes while doing that too. I’ll admit I’ve dressed that way before but be careful how you dress. Even if it’s for “other women”.
It's true 😂❤
i totally agree with you
Assalamualaikum sisters, what a powerful and thought provoking talk by Br. Khan. In my opinion older sisters (like me, I'm 55) have it even harder because of the universal standard of "youth=beauty." Knowing that at your age you are "past your prime" is a bitter pill to swallow indeed. I was talking to my husband's nephews in Pakistan today and every time they called me "aunty" I died a little inside LOL.😂 I just try the best I can to get my nafs under control by begging Allah's forgiveness and reminding myself of the youth and beauty I will get to enjoy eternally in Jannah, Allah willing. And here in the dunya I will continue to wear hijab with pride because it is my crown. 👑May you all be blessed with the best beautifier of all, the Noor of Allah Almighty. 🕯️
SubhanAllah, this is truly a sign.
I was JUST wondering and questioning my hijab, like most people would say that haya comes naturally but i strongly believe its just something you have to work for inorder to achieve that level of haya, or modesty that Allah be pleased with, and being in a society where u see women presenting themselves and look so pretty, you get that desire ignited asw and it just gets harder to stay modest. I certainly did believe that practicing hijab was a journey in itself and becoming better at it takes time. It wouldnt just come eventually to u, you have to work for it and this video just shows why. Allah's just made us that way 😭🩷 surely his way of testing our patience, consistency and tawakul
In sha Allah Allah makes it easy for all the practicing hijabis, and people getting into modesty, you will be rewarded surely 🩷 Allah huma barik to all the hijabis out there struggling.
Women also have a strong desire to look at beautiful things - so much that they also want to see that in their reflection. Men like to look at beautiful women, and beautify themselves (described as handsome) to attract the woman, more than beautiful things in general.
Okay well it’s a fact from the Quran which muslims believe in or they aren’t Muslim obviously. Women and men are so different in their biology. So both science and the Quran prove that it’s true. Women desire to be looked at AND they can look at beautiful things, but not as much as men LOOK. As explained in the video.
Aha, you are right, But of course, there's exceptions to everything.
not all men, not all women can be applied to everything.
God addresses the majority problem and that is best for all of humanity.
Checking to make sure you’re beautiful to others in the mirror is not the same as viewing the reflection simply to look at beauty. The desire to be beautiful is attached to a desire to please others.
Alhamdulillah for being here today. We need constant reminders because we live in times of fitnah. اللهم ثبتنا على دينك
I appreciate how he also talk about what men should do when talking about what women should do.
There are a lot of people who think that Islam oppresses women because they have to cover themselves, but never say anything about men's responsibility to lower their eyes.
Don't know why I do burry this desire since I had entered the youth and now it's decade.. Am still same. As my mother taught in childhood that woman beauty is only for husband, my life turned with lots of challenges, I buried all desires, and now am getting very old, still no desire, as am still alone, but I have no complains from Allah, I trust Allah and Akhirah.. I don't lose hope, I still make Dua for Duniya and Akhirah.
For women this topic is not only about how they look, but also how they behave. Through the way we act, laugh and interact with men, we can also appeal to them.
100% accurate. Yes women should not publicly display their beauty, but we should understand the hardships that come with women sacrificing the privileges they would gain from doing so
Very well explained. So much of accuracy..Loved the video and the way he explained ❤
Thank you so much sir
I have never seen such kind of explanation and this level of understanding.
Allah taala has given you some devine understanding.
Subhanallah May Allah taala gives you highest place here and hereafter..❤
As a women this is soooo true
Masyaallah... it is totally true. I wish I could only looks beauty in front of my husband eyes. InsyaALLAH one day soon 😊
Subhan Allah..every khutbah n bayyan of Ustad Nouman ..lights up my heart n deepens my emaan...Alhamdulillah..Allahuma barik
He explained it so well!!! So true for women it’s a daily struggle especially for those living in non Muslim environments.
Assalamu aleykum from Uzbekistan ❤❤
Indeed
May ALLAH SWT guide us all male and female
ALLAHUMMA AMEEN 🤲
soooo true... and the way he explains.... incredible
I haven't found anyone explaining the concept of Pardah ( for both men and women ) this logically!
This is so profound, accurate, and convincing!
Amazing!
As a woman, it’s not just about I look way prettier than her but I have to hide it. It’s more of “I wish I can be as pretty as her and show it but ugh I’m hiding it instead”
Allah put inside the male the desire to look at beauty. On the other hand, he put inside the female the desire to look beautiful.
Those lines ❤❤❤❤❤ Mashaallah
May Allah make it easier for our muslim sisters including me, Ameen 💗
As a Muslim guy, very true. سبحان الله SOBHAN ALLAH
This makes me more motivated to wear less makeup and work on my modesty
Exceptional explanation
That's why men are envious when U get ready for him. And when U don't they search another more beautiful.
Perfect demonstration of how Allah tests his most beloved servant in different ways
THIS IS SO TRUE, even if he's male but his described the real pov of female
Soooooo True soubhaanAllah !
JazaakAllahou khayran
I agree with his overall message. But the example he gave of women fighting the desire to be beautiful I would say generally is not correct. Maybe that’s the case for some women who feel competitive to other women. But generally I would say that it’s more so looking at a beautiful woman and wanting to be beautiful too but comparing yourself and feeling ugly. Being beautiful to women means acceptance in society and being loved. Which is what women fundamentally want in the first place is to be loved and desired. Which is why it’s so hard to fight the desire to be beautiful.
I think this was such a beautiful video , beautifully explained and well said❤
Facts , may Allah keep the light in our hearts females and males , ameen 🤍
so so true as a woman wallahi wow our Rabb is truly all knowing in that he gave men and women the tasks that they are best suited to
SubhanAllah SubhanAllah....✨🙏what an explanation....
Jazak allah jazka allah for this this is so baneficial for me inshaa allah,
Because as a hijabi girl first when i start hijab i am simple but now slowly i'm turning to look beautiful with my hijab..
Imagine the ajar of the women who cover themselves for the sake of Allah swt 😢❤❤
Ustad Nouman is famous because the way he presented issues are on point.
Beautifully said!!
Actually, every single word was soo on point. MashaAllah
SUBHAN ALLAH
BEAUTIFUL BAYAN TO EXPLAIN A MOST IMPORTANT POINT
Sooo true i totally agree
So true, i couldn't agree more.
@Nouman Ali Khan, you are incredibly awesome, may Allah reward you infinitely for your videos. Jazakallah khairan 🙏🏾
Every word you said is true. All of this is a test from Allah .
The words are so true
Everything that he said in this video is absolutely true
Mindblowingly explained... It was so much needed..
so well explained
In conclusion, the beauty industry preys om out insecurities as women, it's time for us to wake and stop giving them our money
As a girl i m literally saying this is so true. And i was literally struggling with this situation and then this video appeared
It's sooo true. It made laugh knowing it's true. Though sometimes we just go like, I feel sorry for them (the uncovered women) that they are in such a non ending competition. Alhamdulillah Allah 💞 told me to cover up
Sister developed a physical disability due to magic No proposal came her way cuz all these people saw was her health issues
She dresses in a baggy clothing tryin her best not to cause attention even though she been told she looks pretty
She get bullied by her own family for not dressing up and flaunting herself countless times she tried exactly what Br nouman mentioned in the video
She can’t win either way live is very difficult living with people who have been blessed with health wealth and marriage
Your Understanding of Quran depicts like it's being revealed now, May Almighty give all of us the same understanding of Quran that you posses ❤
Dont flaunt and feel so weirdly ecstatic about your beauty or else you will be trapped in evils. Stay humble with strong faith to Allah.
Exactly. That's 100 percent true.
To keep the light in our heart ❤
I see an unclothed woman, whose thinking she is gorgeous to herself but it's not pretty at all in my mind. You just can't beat the covered up sister's beauty of pureness and dignified attire! NO WAY can it be compared. The simplicity of an abaya and head scarf 100% hands down much more pleasing to the eye in beauty.
Crystal clear fact
Barakallah feek
Very well xplain,likes n respect from India
Beautifully explained.
For the reason of making fashion and glamour richer the hijab and naqab is made fun of
This is a very interesting psychological insight into human beings
SubhanAllah! Beautifully explained.
This is true. I dont compare to other woman but I do love shopping to beautify myself: makeups, skincare, etc, even hijabs so I can make my wardrobe 'complete'. Thank you for the reminder, ustadz.
@@deedee2455 Salaam sister. You are not alone. I'm ashamed to admit how many reward points are in my Sephora and Ulta accounts LOL. I rationalize my behavior by telling myself that it has nothing to do with attracting men, I'm just doing it for my own pleasure and enjoyment, after all what's the harm in feeling self confident and good about myself? Turning 55 this year didn't help matters either, I'm determined not to look "old and tired." This is a test that I'm really struggling with right now and I ask Allah's forgiveness for my many mistakes. I'm so grateful that this talk by Br. Khan was posted. It's given me a lot to think about.
Indeed Allah swt knows us better than us...that's y this test...May we all pass this and protect our hearts to retain the light inside..always
As a women this is exactly what I felt
How accurately he decoded women psyche as a man is baffling and incredibly impressive at the same time
Women being unsuccessful against their desire makes our part even more harder. We men already adore women beauty and with all those 21 century fashion oh man Allah may help us
May Allah continue to guide us
Amin