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Why I Chose To Be A Single Parent | Perspectives
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- Опубликовано: 19 сен 2018
- After her abusive relationship ended in tragedy, this mother found the strength to take parenting into her own hands: She chose to have and raise her daughter alone, while fighting for the civil rights of children across the country. Subscribe to HuffPost today: goo.gl/xW6HG
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My heart broke into a million pieces when she said she escaped her child’s abusive father and then he killed his own child. I’m glad she’s okay now. I’m so sad about her lost son, how heartbreaking.
Exactly! This will traumatised anyone to be in a relationship with a guy and have a child with
Yes that was heartbreaking ❤️🩹. I couldn’t believe that happened. So disturbing and cruel. I hope his soul is at peace now. Glad she is safe now and became a child advocate and now has two little girls as a single mother by choice. ❤🙏🏾
I totally understand her. Being a single mom by choice is better than being in an abusive relationship.
Don't be parents cause kid need both parents
People who claim kids need both parents are like ostriches with their heads in the sand. If you look around, you will see the real truth is that kids need GOOD PARENTS. Doesn't matter how many parents or the gender of the parents. Oftentimes biological parents are shitty people. Oftentimes only one of the two is suitable for parenting. Let's not pretend that people are choosing to have kids alone because there are tons of awesome people to mate with and they just don't want to pick one. The sheer number of shitty pickings for mates is why single parents by choice is even a thing.😂
💯💯💯💯💯
@@GnashercideThat's ideal, but completely false. What happens if one of your parents dies? Life is over, then? Clearly, the argument doesnt hold, if one can go on, heal and even thrive after loss
@@dennisahlarson1584Couldnt agree more. You've said it all! ❤💯
The fact that people on comments are bashing this amazing single mother instead of the man who killed her first baby says A LOT about our society nowadays. I really don't know why there are people who judge single mothers... We should judge parents that are abusing, neglecting their children, not single parents who are doing their best. The presence of a father doesn't mean the relationship will be perfect or that this child will be happy, as the same way the absence of a father will not make this child unhappy, if the mother is caring and loving.
Those comments that "this children is going to be a drug addict" are so sad and ignorant. Every single person Ive met that were raised by a single mother or father are good people and are not prostitutes or criminals. As the same way some of my childhood friends who had both parents present didn't turn out to be good things... My neighbor who had both parents killed herself 🤔
As long as one of the parents is loving and caring doenst care if they are single or not. People really be hating on her just because she doesn't want a man 🤯
She's not selfish for wanting to be a mother. Your thought is selfish for criticizing her only cause she's single. The presence of a man doenst mean instant happiness...
Statistics don't lie. Single motherhood is awful for the children.
@@wil318466 the statistics of BW being killed 1 every 5-6 hours by they're significant other isn't a lie as well. Leaving those kids without either parent.
@@wil318466 not if the dad kills kids what a weird comment
Our society? Every society has sociopaths.
Society is still deeply sexist. That is the only explanation I have as to why they are so harsh on mothers, but not on fathers.
What a brave woman. What a tragic loss of her first child. We can only admire her strength. She deserves every happiness with her family.
@@hogant.551 It's what make her happy it shouldn't be a problem
@@naivelopez3601 what about the child
@@guillermoorozco1803 The child is happy
All the deadbeat dads in the comments are so triggered!
Nope
I love seeing them triggered 😂😊
Deadbeat dads....😂😂😂😂😂
All these negatives comments about her choosing to be a single mom but overlook the fact that her 1st born child was killed by the biological FATHER she was in a relationship with?!!
He made her single and childless!
The man she was with KILLED HIS CHILD!!!!
All these judgemental comments about her choosing to be a single mom are ridiculous as if you can't rationalize her logical reason for making that choice!!
Elle Royal well said!!! She’s my hero
How are commenters so bad at judging her when she just judged ALL men? She even admitted she rushed into a relationship without properly betting to see if that man would be a fit father. So now for what one man did she'd rather label ALL men as toxic fathers?
Also, children have the right to know who they are, where they come from, and their lineages. You're basically denying that child the other entity that makes up half of who they are.
It's still her fault. She chose the asshole to begin with. But hey ladies I get it. You all LOVE your fucking precious "bad boys". Us nice guys are soooooo "boring" right? It's OK though. Whenever I see a single mother, I point my fingers at them and laugh at their faces and then move on with my life.
@@richardschiffman7657 You sad lonely man......
Richard Schiffman misogynist men like you don’t bother to fix your characters; instead you just blame women for everything! I would rather be a single mom than for my child to have a crappy role model like you!
Ladies, ladies, please ignore the negative men's comments here. Men hate to see women achieving their dreams without them. It's like emasculating them, lol.
While I see the comments that children from a 2 parent household grow up better than one with single parent, every situation is different. Its case by case. You can have a disfunctional or simply unloving spouse or even a sick spouse who is not able or capable of caring for a child, and thus the child suffers because of lack of love, attention, resources, seeing parents fight...etc... and child turns out messed up... and vice versa... point is everyone's situation is different. So judging, pointing fingers, and hating at others is just down right wrong. But, theres this thing called recompense, where we all get what we give.
So true. Child can only thrive better in a family with love, regardless it’s a single parent or two parents family.
@@cocovercoe784 only bi . Nuclear family is the foundation of society
No, men hate to see women wrecking up even more men by becoming si,ngle mothers. Stats are what they are. Just say 'I don't care about the future of my boy, I just want a kid and to be happy.'
Yours is the best comment and perspective on the thread! Thank you for sharing your light ❤
As a human being that was born from sperm donation can confirm I turned out totally fine and I'm not a criminal nor a statistic. For the commenters that are incredibly judgmental maybe think before you judge unless you've actually been in that situation yourself or a product of it. I'm thankful I'm alive however way I was born as I'm sure her child is as well.
are you born to a single mother by choice ?
If you want to keep it private no issues
You remind me of the girl saying 'statistics are just statistics, that doesn't mean it's gonna happen.' Women, please stop with your anecdotal stories. If the dad leaves or died that's a different story, but women who deliberately become single mothers are very egocentric and I have zero sympathy towards them. If the chances are very high that your son will become a criminal, why not make a child with a man? It's all about me me me.
@@lennertcornette you ignorant fool, there is a difference between single mom by circumstances and single mom by choice. Two different demographics. Also most smbc are doing sex selection ivf, they are mostly choosing to have daughters
@@z7z766 Try reading.
My dad left when I was 9
I wish I was the descendant of a real sperm donor.
I hate co-parenting with someone who makes it their life mission to just be petty and vindictive. I will definitely be a single parent by choice the second time around.🙏
Make better decisions.
@@justshady she just did.
@@justshady Shut up.
Awful human being. Men should really stop donating their sperm only to give to women who are egocentric and don't care about the possibility their sons will become criminal.
I admire her strength and love that she’s happy again.
It’s funny that so many men don’t like women becoming a SMC but on other channels they talk about pumping & dumping and some other men talk about women needing to “choose better.” I’m done choosing. I don’t see the value. I don’t see the current marriage offer of working, paying half of the bills then go home and do almost all of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing appealing. He’ll say that he can’t do much around the house because he’s tired from working but I work too. He has a dad bod but I had the kids. It’s a terrible deal.
Me too
Devin white the situations posted above are common. You’re sounding pretty delusional to me if you don’t see that. Anywho, not all women are struggling and it would be nice to have the conversations of child costs without all the loser men that still want to control women coming into this space. You don’t care about children. So many are raped by who? Men. So many are trafficked by who? Men. Their customers are who? Men. I’m for women NOT sleeping with men at all, just get a sperm donor. Have a daughter. Start that successful business when young. Live in safe areas and that’s it.
J A Thank you for your advice & comments. They’re very helpful. What’s KDR?
I agree 100% . I honestly don’t know why women aim to become a wife and mother. Blows my mind
The reality is, men don't have any value anymore either. If they cannot provide, then their only value is sex (but in this world of casual sex, only the top 20 will get it). Guys haven't picked up on that either. And as a man gets older, the less sexually attractive he is, and the more his wallet will be. The dating pool is shit, and there can be some very responsible moms and dads who ended up having to split. Lots of mothers and especially fathers who are failures. I am a single mom and widow, not divorced and never believed in it. I am angry because there is a lot of shit in this world. But its not just women for sure.
"You mean the donor?" I am going to use that. And oh my God, I am so, so sorry about your son. I think being a single mother is a great option. I am 32, preparing to do this in a couple years.
Another soon-to-be addition to the Welfare Club. Loser.
marconuts you’re staying away from single mothers then come to this page? You’re full of ...
There is nothing great about, especially when you are in the 40ties
Just be good to your body, at 32 most women are still as fertile as they were at 22, there really is no difference.
What about the kid? Doesnt the kid have a say in the life it lives. Why can’t the kid get to grow up in a normal life with a mom and dad. You a robbing the kid of a normal life.
What an inspiring woman. I'm 27 and looking into as being a mum is something I've dreamt of since I was like 5. I don't care if I die single but want to be a mum to more than animals. I'm looking into IVF and adoption options at the moment.
27 is my set goal as well am trying to buy an apartment near my family right now. Ive been saving for it since forever. I wish you luck😄
What's wrong with having sex with your partner and get a baby?
@@lennertcornette no
@@z7z766 What do you mean 'no'?
I was in your same shoes 3 years ago and I can say that once you realize that dream, you wont look back. I am a single mother by choice and it is the best decision I have made in my life. The sense of fulfillment cannot be described ❤
I'm 26 and thinking about becoming a Single Mother by Choice. I'm still doing research but hearing your story is so inspiring and you are such a strong woman.
children from single mothers are way more likely to be mentally ill/ commit crime.
Zion many of us are only doing it because we just don’t want to deal with men anymore. You guys just aren’t worth it. If you feel otherwise, then marry your lady and raise your family
Evie Hall what purpose does that serve society? Single motherhood is simply just repeating the cycle and bringing more screwed up people into the world.
@@billyosullivan4514 those are single mothers. Single mothers by choice are well off because they need to use fertility treatments and those are expensive. Their children have access to nice daycares, live in nice neighborhoods, go to good schools, etc. And donor children for single women has been happening since the 1980s.
@Zion a study was done that showed that children by single moms by choice do just as well as children from normal families, while single moms have worse statistics.
This is because single moms by choice usually require fertility treatments. And those are really expensive. You have to be well off to afford it, and it doesn't usually work on the first try.
You're right about the statistics of single moms, but single moms by choice(SMC) and single moms are different.
Single moms typically were teen mothers, already in poverty.
SMCs are women in their 20s and up who have an established high paying career
i want to be a single dad by choice if i don’t marry a girl by 28. i’d rather it be like that, and me be a kickass single dad than marry someone i didn’t like to be able to have kids, you know?
This is awesome, I full support this ^
india, cost of IVF is *very* low
I totally agree. I’m only 20 but if I don’t end up getting married by my early to mid 30’s then I will probably become a single mom by choice. I really want to have kids someday.
Can I just say that look at these comments compared to the comments on women's posts about being smbc? Like I 100000% support you but it's just very telling of society how they'll slander a woman no matter what but a man makes the same choice and there's nothing but praise. Best of luck if you do go down this road, I will be doing it too in about 4 years :) I want to get a house first and finish my grad program first.
@@justacup8676 hes "allowed" to do whatever he wishes within the boundaries of the law of course. There's nothing saying he isn't "allowed" to be a solo dad at 28
I remembered her story when I saw her son’s tombstone, I’m so happy she’s okay.
She made a good choice. I always wanted to be a mother. She’s my hero.
Same here. I’m inspired
She is far from being a hero. She is someone who makes poor decisions and is a drain on taxpayers.
@Trp Account it's a good thing actually I mean having a kid with both parents is fantastic but it also depends on how the parents treat the kids. You could have your father in your life but that may be just by name so this ivf is actual good for most people like myself and many others . Also I'm sure you know there is a difference between single mother and single mothers by choice if not look into that .
I had a man who was verbally abusive. And only had bad experiences with men; that’s why I wanna be a single mother so my children will only receive love from me: and not experience pain from an abusive father.
Asshole like this deserve to drop the soap in the shower of a prison. Don't mine idiots like him he's having a hard time coming to fact that his existence is a joke. Many women make to decision to be strong like yourself every day and regardless of the looks you get and the crazy comments people make the only person's happiness they really matters is yourself & your child's and as long as you're putting you & your child's best interests at heart don't worry about the naysayers sweetie
So according to you ALL men are toxic and that's the reason why children shouldn't have fathers in their lives?
Beneathea Murphy thank you beautifully said 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Humma Humma 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🎉
@Humma Humma no what she admitted is she's lumping all men in one boat because of one bad experience even she admitted to where she messed up. She rushed into that relationship without properly vetting him. Now y'all are saying that's an excuse to bring a child into this world by yourself then deny that child the other half of them. You're denying that the the other half of his family, bloodline, heritage, etc because it's not about the child, it's about you. That child will see his peers having both parents and he'll start questioning his other half. Unfortunately, he'll just have to go on in his childhood confused because we morphed into a world that deems fathers are not important and disposable. Heaven forbid if that child is a boy for him to learn he'll grow up into irrelevance
This video is proof that single moms can make great parents!😍 Hera McLeod shows us that what matters the most is the parenting style you’ll adopt - not the type of household your child will live in. Maintaining a good relationship and spending quality time is what makes the child happy, and what ultimately leads to a happy family.
💓
To all of the defective MGTOWs and red pilled men, if you’re truly going your own way, stop being where the women are. We know you’re just here trying to get power because your dream women don’t want you. No decent women wants you. You can call us selfish, cat ladies but we still don’t want you.
good that yall dont want us :)
JUST MYOPINION If I’m on a channel of a woman who had a kid and is a single mom by choice, I don’t want the males here telling women what to do. Also, what’s wrong with y’all that you’re making so many women bitter? Are you toxic? Defective? Damaged goods going thru life hurting ppl? A woman has the right to have a child if she has the finances & where with all to properly raise that child. I know many married women who say that they feel like single parents because their husband doesn’t do anything. Also, many men use the promise of marriage and kids to make women jump thru hoops. I’m glad that more women don’t want to play those games. The men created this. If you want to see better, act better yourself
JUST MYOPINION kids are actually cool, they don’t make anyone bitter. Please understand that this channel is about women that want the kids, just not the man
just start telling them to get a dog already
You’re amazing. Children need loving adults in their life and it’s obvious you are doing just that. Way to go
I'm 26 and I'm thinking of being a SMC. I was in a relationship for 5 years and found out that my bf was having a babywith someone else while I was on deployment. I tried to make it work but I couldn't get over the fact that he wanted a baby with someone else and not me.
Me too !!
If you are in the military then you are not feminine enough to be a mother
Indy,
You’re joking right?
@@Kiriphonic Feminine women does not go to the military. They prefer career like nurse.
Indy,
Alright but being „feminine“ enough has nothing to do with how good of a mother she’ll be. Mothers and women in General don’t have to be feminine to take good care of and love their kids.
I’m 24 and I’m thinking about being a single parent by choice through via donor I haven’t made the decision yet I’m doing research and you are a strong woman ☺️💕
It’s just Yomii I wish I wasn’t poor so I could do that 😭
Great. Become part of the problem. Single moms are the downfall of the world and the simp men who chase them. Pathetic.
How about keep your legs closed???
@@Filthy_Larry or you could mind your fucking business? :)
Spammer Rage I feel bad that your single mother failed you but that’s your issue solely with her. Nobody else’s problem.
Don’t be a single mom loser. Being a single mother equals child abuse, and a leech on society.
Thank you. "You mean the donor?.... I am not ashamed of it." Same here.
@@itzasweater9621 there is a difference btw single mothers by CHOICE and single mothers by CICUMSTANCES . Know the difference btw the 2 b4 commenting !
I'm so sorry for your loss...😓 I can't imagine what you must have gone through losing a child and in such a way.
Thank you for having the courage to stand up and share your story with us. I wish nothing but the best for you and your two beautiful girls. 🧡
I can certainly see why she chose to do what she did. Not sure I could ever trust a man again either. Such a beautiful little girl! Best wishes to this family.
people forget about those abusive marriages/partnership. my main reason to support choice mothers and fathers.
Well then start expanding the jails and prisons
The negative comments use be against gay parenting and black and white parenting as well. I support ALL parenting. And I support this video.
All parenting that is wholesome and healthy, as we know that dysfunctional families also exist in all communities and all ethnic groups
Wholesome families (all of them) are a blessing to society
While dysfunctional families are a cross both to the children who suffer in them and to lots of people beyond the family...
I’m 25 years old and I’m already on my journey to single motherhood. I’ve already started my IVF process and im so excited for this journey, and NO I don’t care about what society has to say im having my baby for ME and no one else 🤎🤍
And do you know a child need a father ?
@@Gnashercide Oh shut up.
Yay! I'm getting my fertility tested to. 2024!!
@@biancat7761 Best of luck to you!! You will be a great mother.
@@marcusnorville32 another single mom
Very important that this is an option for women. Not all of us want or need to in relationships. Fathers aren't necessary to raise children successfully.
Just look at statistic of kids raised by single mothers....
Wow, what a brave courageous woman. As a mother, I don't think I would have survived such tragedy to live on. So incredibly painful beyond words. Bless her. I hope she's happy and ok today including her daughter. Amazing.
This is the goal! No man stealing food and money from my child, stealing the child to hurt me, they're awful.
I’m not even surprised that most of the negative and rude comments are coming from men. Y’all hate seeing women living their best lives without y’all? Lol 😂 get up you’re fine.
how does someone kill their own baby??????
You mean, like abortion?
@@dagobahman6737 No, not like abortion.
Psychological disorders.
I used to be very judgemental on most single mothers but cases like this remind one why you shouldn’t judge
Why would you judge single mothers?
Why would you judge a single mom? Most single mom's don't chose to be and since your saying "in this case" it still implies that your biased against single mothers?
So I take it that your either not married with no kids or married and still not a parent?
I also hope your bias is based on the fact that you grew up in a two parent home.
And if your over 30 and still not married with no kids....I can see why. That's my biased to you dear 👍
@@kellyj817 Exactly!
Single parenting is beautiful when love is involved
@Naijella 86
Yeah people need to calm down. You are a great example to show that there is hope for people to change and be more open minded and accepting. I wish others could rethink their harshness on SMBC like you and not be so quick to judge every SMBC. Thank you!
“Where’s the dad” is such a rude and uncalled for question to ask
No it's a normal question. Family is mom dad and kids not mom and the kids
So glad to hear that women are choosing solo parenthood. Don’t allow anyone to shame you for not being connected the father of the child. Take your power back.
Oh yeah destroy nuclear family and society.....too hard to fnd a husband and build a stable home for the kids, nah be another fatherless home
Im 35 weeks pregnant and the father of my baby hasn’t sent me any cent during my pregnancy, he says he loves our baby boy but he lives in another country he is a doctor doing residency and he always says he will send me money for the cot and those things and I’ve bought everything by myself and I see he goes out wiht his friends. He will come for the due day but I want to be a single and I think those men that are bad boyfriends or husband can’t be good parents. I dotn want to be wiht. Him just because he is the p
Father of the baby and I feel comfy wiht my decision
congratz on being stupid
Am so sorry Luisa.
Can we chat privately on Facebook
You and your child dont deserve any of that. Dump him and dont look back. You two can do it on your own ❤
There is a difference between single mom by choice and single moms.
Single moms had a relationship but the dad left. They can be poor or rich. Have a nice house or a terrible house.
Single moms by choice means you used a donor through home insemination or ART without a partner. And fertility treatments (ART) are expensive beyond belief. These women are upper middle class, CEOs of their own companies, or have high wages. Because poor people can't really afford fertility treatment. Children of SMCs (single moms by choice) go to good schools, live in nice houses (not saying a mansion, just a nice house). Children of SMCs never have to worry about food on the table or if they are going to lose the house.
Some might say that not having a father negatively affects the child. That has only been proven in children who could remember their father leaving (abandonment, divorce, etc). Also donor children can meet their donor, and form a relationship with them after they turn 18. Those men purposely donate, knowing they have children out there and that they can meet them someday. Not some dude who accidently got a woman pregnant and ran for the hills, and the child goes on a search looking for a stranger who hated them.
Girls that grow up without father figure in the house tend to become lonely single mothers themselves. For the boys lack of father figure is even more damaging to their psyche. They never grow up "normal".
A child could be well cared for and have the best things in life but that doesn't mean that fathers don't matter. And there are stories of many people whose fathers were sperm donors and they never got to meet them or they met them or their 18 that doesn't suddenly erase the trauma of not having them in their life for all those years of their development. Not having a father and then suddenly meeting him at 18 doesn't suddenly make it all better.
Well said
@@Indipuk source ? I want to look that up
@@tiorinaya2104 trauma ? Not having a father may be sad but trauma ? That's pushing it tbh
I agree, i think its empowering for women to have some control over our fertility. Not all are so lucky to find mister right.
@ 3:11, that question!
"Is he your first" is such a loaded question for me and i never know how to answer that.. I have a newborn but i also lost a son (teen pregnancy). So i have 2 children, one living, one deceased. I waited 23 years to have another child, that is a long time to grieve.. if i can give any advice: please dont sit too long in your grief or it will become your crutch, you have to let go and let their little soul be free and continue with living, and continue to try for another baby if that is what you wish to have.
❤❤ While grieving my ex got another pregnant and also left her. I am done grieving and like you said we must not wait to long. 🙏 May God bless us and protect us.
This is a reasonable option . Motherhood is full of desire to share the love inside a woman. It is an infinite resource . I am on crutches since birth .
This is so inspiring, I'm thinking about donors as well. I'm not into marriage, I just want to be a mom. I love this 💖💗💕
To all you nay sayers. Stay out of the woman’s uterus!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I will be 38 next month and have also decided to be true to myself and have a second child since there is nothing in this world that I love as much as being a (single) mother.
Also if in future I might meet someone I fall in love with I do not want to be on bis mercy for having kids or take his verbal abuse (as had been the case at one point in my life).
It makes me sad when people keep telling me that I should just be grateful for the one child I already have and not even consider another one.
I wonder why so many people have not realized that love (in a family) multiplies when you spread it.
My deepest respect for you, Hera. How brave, courageous and positive you are!
I come here because i plan to be a single mom by choice too. Im too afraid to deal with marriage or any relationship. Raising a kid/kids made me happier than dealing w men and their families 😶😶😶
Nuclear family is the heart of society. If you don't want to deal with men don't bring children to the world. Kids deserve a stable Nuclear family. Pure selfish
@@Gnashercide for selfish people like you, women like me are selfish. For people like me, you hv argument like that -- youre very selfish. I wish you dont have to lose one of your parents, both thru divorce or death. I wish you dont have to go to unfortunate romance life like us. If someday God give you the same destiny like us, you will know. 🤪🤪🤪🤪
@@natalianat9105 exactly everyone doesn’t want the same thing
Congratulations! So happy for you. ♥️
For tell her that fathers are toxic?
Okay so I really really really needed this. I’m 25 now soon to be 26. I had my first child at 20 because I absolutely refused to have an abortion & never in my life believed in it. It was a very complicated pregnancy as my son had a birth defect. Because my sons father whom I’d dated for years btw wanted to push me into an abortion I left him. Moved away to a shelter. My family was going to have the laugh of their lives if I’d told them! I got 2 jobs , saved all my money. Had my son at 7 months. 1 pound. A supposedly 2 year hospital stay turn into 5 months. I got a house to bring him home to. His father started coming around & because I grew up without parents myself I wanted to give my son a better chance. One faithful day, 7am heavy snow outside, his father gets ready for the office & I genuinely and very nicely ask him to please help me get milk for the baby as I can’t possibly take him in the snow (not driving) the conversation escalates, he calls me out of my name and punches me in a way I’ve never experienced in my whole entire being. I completely black out & go absolutely crazy! My cheek is torn & bleeding. I’ve never fought so hard in my life! Let alone fight anyone at all. A neighbor calls the police & because he was a citizen & I an immigrant. I was arrested for being the aggressor even with blood gushing out! I’ve never felt so powerless! I was stripped of all my power at that moment. He had automatically won every battle there’d ever be because I now had a record for something I didn’t even start! He did follow the police & infront of a judge said it was a misunderstanding. Though they released me after a day! I was terrified! A straight A student! With a young child! I’d never so much as fought let alone have a verbal altercation with someone. Now with a record & the man who pressured me for an abortion now with the rights to my child that i suffered for. Broke me!!! Years later trying to co-parent whenever was convenient for the father was harsh as everyday brought with it it’s own challenges. I was hurt! I had done everything to provide & be a responsible mother to my son & I had lost! Now someone had to decide if they wanted me to see my child or not! I lost myself. I stayed in the city just for the pleasure I’d get whenever I got to see my son. I wasn’t myself! I was dying & not growing. Nothing was moving! I was miserable. One day I woke up & hated my life!!! My son was now 5 & it’d been painful watching the years go by. I got in my car that day & drove!! From Philly to Iowa! Only stopping for gas. No plans, no friends, no family, no advice, no announcements! Just drove. Applied for jobs on the way, booked a hotel, scheduled interviews for next day. Having a good resume & administrative background helped speed things up! 19 hours later! Driving 10 hours in an Iowa blizzard past midnight!! Made it to my hotel, had interviews next 2 days. Got all the jobs I applied for. Chose the one with Career advancement opportunities that’d help pay for college. Got an apartment 1 week later, parked my car. Flew back to philly. Gave everything in my apartment away & returned my keys. Flew back to Iowa. Worked 60 hours a week! Started my first semester of school in business management & passed with straight A’s. 8 months now in Iowa as I write this. In my second semester of school still paying nothing out of pocket, I’ve had 3 promotions at work already with an amazing team, have flown back to philly about 4 times to see my son! We FaceTime as often as possible. Went through IVF & now pregnant with daughter! Couldn’t be happier! Shopping for a house! In less that a year my life has completely changed!!! I don’t want anyone to ever have a say over my child! Or decide for me when to be a mother! I’m fortunate to have my son yes but he doesn’t get to feel the love of a mother and a man that never wanted him gets to dictate everything! Honestly I’m grateful for this current pregnancy with my daughter! Yes I’m young! But responsible. With a good head over my shoulders, intelligent & brilliant! Extremely hardworking & dedicated in everything I do. I fully truly trust that from the bottom of my heart I’ve made the right choice. & I’m doing everything in my power to ensure my daughter grows up without lacking a thing! Especially not the love I have to give.
One she reaches 5 years old put her through martial art training, like taekwondo etc. teach her early how to not let anyone to step over her boundaries specially little boys at school. I recommend you to register her in all girls school, because girls excel and thrive on single sex schools. Avoid buying gendered toys, buy her everything that could help her benefits in the future. Buying her baby toys will force parenthood in little girls so avoid doing that.
what a beautiful and inspiring story. Thanks for sharing. I really wish such a wonderful woman all the best.
Highly respect your strength xxxx thank you for sharing your story
Wow..This was tough. Amazing woman doing amazing things. Keep on keeping on 💖🙏🏾
So empowering
What ? Kids who grow without father ? Wow this is a real progress
@@Gnashercide get a life kids now don’t have father because of abandonment 🙄
I am so sorry for your loss.
I wish more people could see this
She’s a strong woman 😢❤. I pray God blesses her 7 fold blessings for her pain….
Wow, so inspirational. Well done you are brave , wise and courageous. Such a wise choice decision. So beautiful. thank you .
Hello beautiful
How are you?
She got the same BM.
You are beautiful, wonderful, much love for you and your daughter and for your angel in Heaven 💕💕💕 thank you so much for sharing 🥰
So inspirational
Good for her. I will go through this myself or with my partner 👭🏽👩❤️💋👩👸🏽
When I'm a adult I want a child from the adoption system should I have to wait for a spouse
Ethan Payne yes, its best to raise children in couples
Just to play devil's advocate why
no, you don't have to be in a relationship or be married. You can be single you just have to show you can provide an emotionally and financially stable home and life where they'll be loved and cared for well. :)
Yes, being raised by a mother without a father is hard on the child. Their are values a father can bring that most women cannot. Stoicism, leadership, logic, toughness & masculinity etc
The new generation are too emotional.
cleonriize if you really believe that then why do you support divorces?
I normally wouldn't agree with this but I don't blame her.
No comment, I am just watching the reality and truth of what is happening in this world we live in.
Then why did you comment
How ironical of you
Thank you for this story! You are beautiful!
Beautiful.
Hello
WOW! What a heartbreaking way to end a relationship on behalf of the male child murderer.
Good for her
Beauriful !
Thanks for inspiring me. I’m about to do this soon before 40
Why you didn't find a husband when you was young ?
@@Gnashercide why would she do that?
Good for her❤
If you are a single parent you need to give your child both feminine and masculine influences. Parental and maternal advice to become a fully fledged human being, otherwise they'll become depressed when they reach adulthood. Sure it's nice 2 keep it together when they are a kid, they don't need more than a mother's love, but when they reach teenage years they need masculine advice.
Sooo, you have a PhD in child development?
God bless you and your family!!
Dan Solo jesus what's your problem
Dan Solo oh sorry man! my bad
Wait....they need "masculine advice from a man??"
Is that so they can become like the men that weren't there in their lives?
I want this
Irresponsible fathers ( the 'cricket' is one of them)
Some years to come, people will marry their siblings blindly...
i love you
Mutt mutt mutt mutt mutt mutt
So messed up. And we wonder why society is the way it is.
Steel City it’s the way it is because of children born in messed up two parents house holds.
@@pramod119 those were women that got pregnant with the involvement of a man, who choose not to be around. A new study shows that single mothers by choice are the same as kids raised in a two parent home, Single Mothers By Choice have a large support group including family and friends. But an idiot like you can't tell the difference between when something is a man's fault just like to point at women. You just want to feel important at the end of the day.
Steel City if men had better characters this wouldn’t be a problem
THE NILOTIC EMPRESS beautifully said.
Tia Enriquez love your comment; well said 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Marriage is honorable among all the bed undefiled
Are you a man? Are you boy? Maybe a woman? Married? Single mother? Busy career woman? Should you watch this? @
Was the ex husband at all African or Hispanic?
❤️🤗
♥️
I like that she follows her dreams, but .. I wouldn’t promote this type of parenting, because the chances of them to end up taking a wrong path is higher..
No, this is the best type of parenting
...Because I'm selfish and put my wants above what's in the best interest of my child.
True respect and support for solo parents who do the best they can, especially when the decision is thrust upon them, but to brag about choosing to deny your child the demonstrable advantage of two parents is narcissistic.
If this was a single father by choice you’d support it because you’re a misogynist.
Charlie Harris there are gay people who raise children all the time. That’s not a mother and father home, so what’s the difference? As long as the child is receiving LOVE that’s all that matters.
You going to find the sperm donor and tell him that? Oh wait, you cant, he is anonymous and gets completely let off the hook for creating a child that he takes no responsibility for. Yet let's all blame the mother while the bio donor gets to live a quiet, blameless life. No one acknowledges it, but he i's just as responsible. Strong, brave, kind, loving people like her make excellent parents with or without a partner.
Even tho data shows the disadvantages kids face without a father in the house, is all about what women want and not about what's best for the child
What disadvantages?
The court believed that both parents were best for the child and look at what happened: the father took the life of the child.
The facts are staring at you right in the face.
Clearly 2 isnt always better than 1.
I'd like to go this way, but I won't be able to manage financially, I'm afraid. It sucks.
Plz don't have children of can't support them
@@z7z766 Adoption will works
@@Deernailt whether they are biological or through adoption, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CAN'T SUPPORT THEM
@@z7z766 Once if people doesn't take care the poor kids will adopt the poor kid and buy some foods make better life people
It is selfish to have a child without the father being part of the child’s life.
She had a child with her abusive partner. She got pregnant by him and decided to keep the baby. Two Horrible decision. Both each could have been prevented (birth control) or delete the pregnancy.
She wanted to be a parent. Plus, not every woman believes in abortion.
Any criticism on this woman after everything she has been through, shows a profound lack of empathy, almost to a pathological degree
Not smart.
According to who?
@Charlie Harris and @RJ Parks
If you're just gonna say some old negative sh** then why comment on this woman's video better yet y'all had plenty of time to click off the video. What wasn't smart was continuing to watch the video if it was displeasing to you or against your belief. Smh go be a parent to your children and stop worried about have this woman and other single women & men parenting there's
RJ Parks so it’s smarter to bring an abusive father in a child’s life?
Charlie Harris it’s amazing how men like you treat women and children like garbage and got the nerve to get angry when women prefer IVF over being with men like you.
Beneathea Murphy well said 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Single moms are the worst
Childhood problems?
no they're the best , every woman should be a SM ❤😊
How could anyone blame her after her experience?
She is not a problem, but Huffpost digging up this extreme story to push social decay is absolutely shameful.
The real takeaway here should be setting a high standard when shopping for a partner!
Or not wait and just have your baby
Not wanting a partner because of trauma (say you come from a dysfunctional home), does not make anyone a social problem.
Actually the opposite *is* true.
Forcing a relationship to work, having kids and later mistreating the children in any way, IS a social problem.
Enough said
This is crazy af
Can you expand on that?
The Great Cassa Nope, kids just need unconditional love period, no matter who it’s from.
@ZEL DRIS Bruh what statistics? Me and all my friends are raised by just one parent in our lives and I can tell you we are all very happy and are in good stable homes. Is that everyones case? No. But everyone who has two parents in their life also don't live perfect great lives either
The life outcomes for children of single parents are awful - any person voluntarily deciding to be a single parent really doesn't give a shit about children.
My life is so much better and happier because my father chose to become a single parent and we no longer have to deal with my mom. My dad is an amazing person raising two kids on his own and he's happy doing it
@@addisonb.1356 I agree people like forcing their ideas onto other people and I don't like that
🤣🤣🤣
Every single time that I've searched about this topic I always see it from the view of the mother there are no articles or stories from adults who were raised this way. I am tired of people believing that fathers are disposable or that just because you had a bad experience or even a traumatic experience with a man means that suddenly your child doesn't deserve a father. Does becoming a single mother by choice suddenly negate all the trauma that comes with not having a father or does that only happen if the father leaves before the baby is born. In the comments, all I see are people talking about how brave and strong she is but barely anyone is talking about the fact that this kid is going to be raised with no father at all. Depression, suicide, higher divorce rates suddenly all of that disappears because the mom chose not to have the father and the child's life?
Dude what are you talking about. No matter if you have one parent, both parents, or even no parents! Your life has the possibility of not being perfect and leading to depression, anxiety and yes even suicide. But that's literally almost everyones case. My dad is a single parent now. And he's the only one who cares for me and my brother and I can tell you that our lives are so much happier and better. Just because your life was perfect with two parents doesn't everyone else's is going to be as well
@@addisonb.1356 I agree
That was a mouthful but your logic is completely flawed .
Trauma if not having a dad?? Do you see this woman abusing her children? Do you see her starving her children? What traumas you are talking about?
I dont think you have stats for your claims either, so I would thread humbly. I would say: do research on this subject and come to your own conclusions.
But having a bias, not acknowledging it, and not being prepared to let it go if the data proves you wrong, makes you a poor researcher.
Be open minded and let the research guide you.
So your kids can grow up at much higher risk of dropping out, crime,drug addiction, depression, mental illness and suicide? Those are the stats associated with single parenting. And the communities with the highest level of two parent families have the opposite stats including highest per capita household income and education.
Lol you wish
@nkmensah facts? Rectally sourced facts
@nkmensah your inferiority complex override real facts and logic. So stfu
After a string of poor decisions she makes the mother of all bad decisions. That kid will leave you in a retirement home the way you left her in daycare. The reasons she gave for having a kid are not good enough to decide to have a dog.
No wonder most males end up in retirement homes lol
@@z7z766😂😂😂😂😂😂
"im not ashamed of it" yeaa we are fooocked
She really wants a white baby lol
Or because 99% of donors are white. Go to your local sperm bank and check
Bad choice. Being raised by a single mother is the single greatest predictor of criminality. Shame on you.
That's a myth. Single parents are much more likely to be lower class, lower class children are much more likely to commit crimes. Correlation =/= causation.
Lol my mom was a single mother of seven and all 7 of us from the same parents have no criminal records and all have degrees and live good lives.
Oh please! Where are you getting your stats from?
Now explain patricide ? You know, when kids kill parents (i.e the two parent home of the Menendez brothers) making them CRIMINALS?????
We'll wait.
If it was a single father by choice you wouldn’t judge; you’d praise him! You’re just judging because you’re a misogynist
Eunhyuk_B.I._Mark_V EUNHAE well said 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Delusional. Should have choice a better man to father your children that was your problem. Smh. Who is going to model for those children of what a man is so they go out chose better men? This is ridiculous.
Choose? How about becoming better men.
Also some people (men and women) don’t desire relationships, but want children.
@@icyunvme2400 how about becoming a better mother/Woman and choosing better also. Both are at fault. But wanting children is the problem especially if their is no stability. So it's a irresponsibility on both parts. Smh
@@jalanjackson1242 Going about it’s the single route would be better and would solve all issues honestly.
@@jalanjackson1242 what’s a man?
Sickening. You should be ashamed.