Changing My Mind About Top Surgery (would be all good 👌)
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
- Chp 1 My Surgery Status- 1:26
Chp 2 My Journey Questioning- 1:50
Chp3 It's OK to Question- 8:50
Ch4 Other cuties- 13:10
Thanks to everyone who shared a clip with me. Even those who didn;t make the final video, y'all were wonderful :)
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![I'm Transmasculine and DON'T Want Top Surgery [CC]](/img/1.gif)
When we "pretend" we are sure of things that we are not, sometimes we make rushed, ill-informed decisions. That is why I think more space should be made for folks to wonder and question things. There is no shame is not-being-totally-sure of something, and taking time to reflect on it. I did this a LOT in regards to my top surgery and it helped me make the right choice. Questioning something and/or thinking about it does not invalidate your identity. (Don't let folks tell you that it does!
Ash Hardell I agree! its totally okay to change your mind so you don't make ignorant or ill-informed decisions
Ash!! I love you so so so much! You are so inspiring and such an amazing person❤️ I love watching your videos! ❤️
Hey, Ash! I'm a trans non-bainry and I want top surgery but not T! So, you're not alone
Ash Hardell it's fine we all support your decision and we all love you and you were one of the people that inspired me to talk to my mom about my bisexuality so thank you and I'll support you all the way 😊
Ash I love you and support you one hundred percent
Guess who's parents are calling her with her preffered name and pronouns because Ash's videos gave her confidence
Elliot Williams congratulations !! that’s so good !!!
Elliot Williams YAY!!!!! That’s awesome
You.
Awwwww YAY YOUR PARENTS ARE AMAZING CONGRATS
@@arthurstable223 NVM they've stopped with the pronouns
Not that they really started
Totally off topic but your hair looks great in this video
I'm 28 and keep changing my mind. Here's a timeline:
16: Lesbian!!
18: Bisexual?
24: pansexual!!
25: gender fluid?
26: Asexual - greysexual?
28: I'm a demi girl, grey sexual and panromantic.
Now I just go by queer XD there are too many labels. I don't mind that much about labels in terms of presenting myself to others. Labels are for me, to feel like I have an idea of who I am, and they are not set in stone ;)
I feel like people our age are the most confused/unsure because at least where I was growing up there was lesbian and gay and trans wasnt much talked about although it was there and that was it now there are so many labels to go by. And in my experience at least, having all these choices now for labels made me unsure because like Ash said, if you havnt been sure since the beginning then you must not want it enough or be it. So now I question myself a lot and feel like a fake but I try not to give myself a hard time because even though its been 7 years since I learned all these terms they still feel so new to me compared to the 28 years ive been alive. xD Anyways sorry for the long comment, I just get excited when I see people my age commenting (i always see younger people). Also, I love what you said about things not being set in stone. Its so true.
MOOD
mine is crazy;
1. Bi
2. Gay...are men really attractive?
3.Pansexual!
4. Panromantic?
5. No no no, definitely pansexual
6. Female?
7. Non binary?
8. Male?
9. Androgynous!
*10. QUEER!*
CLIQUE.AS.FRICK I just ask people to call me genderqueer or just queer
literally my exact timeline
Same
13: Attracted to Girls??? Something must be wrong with me! But also attracted to boys can I like both?
14: Okay I'm Bi
15: Being a girl doesn't feel right, maybe I'm a boy? but can a trans boy be attracted to boys? How does that work? Okay I think that I am a gay trans boy and thats what feels good.
16: Being a boy doesn't feel right all the time either. Also you CAN be trans and be gay it works??? Okay so I'm Not always a boy or a girl or both or neither. Gender-Fluid? Agender? Also am I Bi or am I Pan? Whats the difference?
17: Okay So I'm going to go with bisexual and gender fluid. But I actually don't really want to have sex so maybe I'm ace? except that I feel like I would want to have sex with someone I loved.
18: Hey something called demisexual exists and it feels like it fits!
19: Demi bi-sexual, bi-romantic, Gender-fluid/non-binary
20: Where I am today things are still fluid and I present in many different ways, I still am discovering what fits me and makes me feel good!
You have no idea how happy I was to watch this, I am a girl I was born a girl and I identify as female no question to it but I absaluly hate the size of my chest, like you. I have contemplated a breast reduction and or top surgery but either way I'm scared to go through with it or even really tell anyone, so this helped alot.
Hey, I’m part of the AFAB, nonbinary, not very traditionally manly person who doesn’t want a chest (and also doesn’t want t) club! Are there t-shirts?
Aven Brickner no we have hats. Shirts clause problems for those who haven't had or cant afford surgery and still have chest problems
Kayo haggard lol
Aven Brickner Nah, there wouldn’t be Testosterone-Shirts. Why would there be?!
Kayo haggard you made me giggle omg thank you 😂
Hey hey hey same! I wanna join this club 😂
I don't know how but you somehow posted the exact video that I needed at this moment. Like honestly, holy shiz, woah, thanks for this. This helps a lot
I'mReallyBadAtThinkingOfUsernames:D literally same
same
Me too
Yes! This is important!
👍🏼....questioning...good....changing your mind...not bad....making sure you have as much information as possible before making a decision...great! It takes a lot of courage to proclaim these thing publicly.
Thank you so much for making this video. There’s so much pressure to put up a “no hesitation” front as trans people but it’s rare that we make big decision in life without hesitating, exploring other options, etc. Best wishes
This video needs to be shared to all corners of the lgbtq+ community. I’ve been questioning my gender lately but I didn’t think it was okay to question. Everyone likes when there’s a label. So I went with Demi girl because at the time that sort of fit me. I’m still questioning right now, and this video has helped me realize that I don’t need a label at this exact point in time. I can take my time with things. So, Ash, I’d like to say thank you for making these videos that help questioning folks like me because these messages aren’t shared enough.
I love these long videos and how in depth and clearly you explain things
I’m a transguy, i think many binary trans people including me are questioning their gender and medical transition. I think it’s healthy!
im so happy to have been featured in this video. i love you so so so much and you have been a huge inspiration for me over the years. and yeah, im just really happy with how this video turned out and how it really validates everyones feelings and identities. agh im just really content.
Hey Ash, I love your videos. They are informative, well spoken and well researched. You creating this space for discussion for sex, gender, sexuality is amazing. You are an amazing youtuber. And one of the names we can use to say why RUclips is important. I wish you the best for your surgery........... Also I am a fan of the RUclipsr Jessica Kellgren-Fozard and I saw that in your insta story you were making a video with her?...I am unsure...but if you did...when is it coming out?..I am super excited. That is why I am asking :D :D Keep rocking. Keep making videos. Your are awesome. And say hi to grace. :D
I'm so fucking glad you made this vid. I've ID'd as ftm for about a year and a half now but lately I've been wondering if that's totally accurate. That doesn't mean I'm not a guy, or that I'm not trans, I'm just still having questions and that's ok
YAY AFAB Nonbinary Not-super-masculine But-wants-a-flat-chest Club high-five! ✋🏻 Thank you for sharing your journey of non-T top surgery, Ash! Your vids make me feel so happy and valid and inspired and represented 💖❤️
Ok when I saw my face on screen my burrito ended up in my lap lol! (Enby at 16:03) Thank you for making this video Ash!
ThespiansCreed here's to you defining you, i'm glad you like your hair now.
I was havin trouble winding down to sleep bit watching this and listening to everyone, even myself at 18.59, has really made my day.
Thanks everyone involved in any way. Thanks Ash! Thanks, editing magic.
Thank you for this message. I think I am aromantic and asexual. And yet, I am not sure. That used to make me feel bad. It doesn't anymore. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Well, you just described me. 🙃
Mate I feel ya! I'm aromantic and asexual as well, and this "I'm not sure" thing scared me for soooo long. Being like 23 and realising "okay so this probably fits but WHAT IF IT DOESN'T I'LL BE A TOTAL FRAUD". Yea, I'm 27 now and it still fits XD. I've never been in any kind of relationship, by the way - I've simply never wanted to try.
Elluna Hellen "I've never really wanted to try"
That's the thing, when you're sexual, you will be able to tell. When I was 15, I started to long for the idea of being in love. Before that, I wasn't interested and didn't know how it felt, but thinking back now, I remember sexual feelings from my early childhood. At 17, I had a super hormonous crush on someone I barely knew but who seemed very potentially cool. At 21, I get thoughts of wanting to start to burst babies and carry them around. I have never dated, but I have a clear image and a lot of thought and research has gone into what I think it should be like. However, I don't think there is a clear cut between sexual and asexual. Like I said, when I was a little kid, there was a time when I had some sexual feelings but couldn't identify them as such. For now, I can't tell what romantic love and platonic love are in relation to each other yet. I don't know whether I'm just a romantic person in general or aromantic. To me, love always feels kind of similar. That could be inexperience, or unableness to experience. Right now my theory is that romantic love is (platonic) love that coexists with sexual attraction. That's probably a half-truth at most.
Personally, I can't at all relate to people who say they don't want kids and don't want to get married. I like the idea of being a mother so much that it almost crushes any questioning of my sexual or gender identity. My dream of having a child means so much more to me than my gender or orientation, that I've come to question, if I was something else than cis straight, would I care? To me, reproducing and raising a family are just so important, that I'm quite sure that I need a straight relationship to be happy, even if I were able to be attracted to or in love with other kinds of people. I think I might have had sexual and/or romantic feelings towards other people than men, but I'm not completely sure, because they weren't intense enough. I agree more to having preferences and ideologies that I usually follow, than fitting into strict categories. And that's why I still, even after many years of looking into gender and sexuality identities, can't be more specific than, "mostly straight, mostly woman, mostly sexual, mostly cis". I can't be definite, so I feel that I can neither belong in LGBTQ+ people nor exclude it. I've never been good at or really agreed with "fitting in". Identity is so subjective too, that what I define as straight or mostly straight, someone else might call bi with a preference. Feelings and which of them is which are so difficult to define and so, so coultural too. Scientifically, the human brain and body are just a compilation of chemicals reacting and making cool effects. There's no hope in trying to make sense of it all.
Hi! I'm Aro-Ace and totally feel all of this! It's hard to know if you are what you think you are if you've never experienced the thing that you don't think you've ever experienced 😧. I've been 99% sure I'm Ace for a while but only recently had a "trial-relationship" of sorts and coming out of that I'm now 99% sure that I'm also Aro! Hurray! Confusion!
I think the main thing that's been difficult is that I'm a very sensitive and physically affectionate person. But yeah 😅 I'm in the same boat with you guys. Love you all! ACES UNITE ♠💜
(EDIT: Yes. I'm aware that I'm a huge dork. 😊❤)
I can relate. The most difficult thing for me is I am a very romantic person, like to kiss, cuddle, etc, but I'm asexual. So to find someone who wants to be in a relationship without sex is very hard, and most people who do, don't want to be physically affectionate at all.
I have scars from heart surgery and other stuff. I think since I've had them since birth I accepted them as just me. I've been told I look like a alien and I've joked that yeah, I am. This never bothered me tho. I know scars can be nerve racking for some, I'm here to tell you don't sweat it. You may not like them at first, but you could end up loving them down the road. Good luck with your surgery Ash, love ya
Ash, you are creating a community where it is okay to question, to not be sure. It may have been a bit late to help you (after all, you being open about questioning is what is doing it), but it's helping others. Thank you, so much for doing so.
THANK YOUUUUU
this video describes me 100%
We are few, but we are here!
Such a MASSIVE decision I couldn't even wrap my lame, old, cis mind around it! Asking questions (and really listening to the answers) is possibly the most important advice one could give as far as ANY topic goes. You're amazing Ash!
This is the video I needed right now. I am HARDCORE questioning and I want to be able to share this with others in my life but it’s been hard because I don’t have a concrete identity to come out as. I’ve had to find the courage to just say “I don’t know, and I need you to be patient with me until I do.” Hearing stories from others who’ve been through similar things makes it easier. They all changed their minds and are still perfectly valid, and so am I.
This is such a good video. I had no idea other people felt the same way as me. Thank you for this !!!!
I reallly appreciate the way you structure these vids and how you include other people. It makes the video a lot easier to take in and it feels more personalized
“Confused af”
Mood
oooooh, if I didn't want my comment pinned, this would be the winner!
Ash Hardell ash will you please adopt me??
Ok but can we talk about how amazing their animation was, especially for a first try!!! It looked so good like Ash??? You're so talented???
Bless this video and shoutout to all the awesome people at the end!
I can not even tell you how empowering this vid has been for me!! Life changing. Seriously!
Ash, these videos have helped me so much. You are the first person who really taught me it’s ok to not be 100% sure of gender/sexuality right away and I’m so grateful for you
This is so important! Thank you for taking to articulate the ambiguities of your personal journey and reminding everyone that we all deserve room to weigh our options and make extra thoughtful choices.
I'm AMAB and feel the Enby gender identity feels so right for me. However I still mostly present as male mainly because of social expectations and I don't feel any conscious gender dysphoria about my body. Subconsciously, I've been female in my dreams several times a week for the last month. I love those dreams so much I never want to wake up. I guess the questioning phase isn't over yet. Yes I am a mess, lol.
That's perfectly okay ❤
Soooo valuable! It's so silly how afraid we are of uncertainty and even shame others for questioning things. You're such a brave dude! Thank you for putting out so much of your own vulnerability, it's truly admirable.
You're getting top surgery on my birthday
Kittyccatz 11 mine too lol
Kittyccatz 11 triplets
Quadruplets. ;)
Holy shiz not me
Quintuplets :3
I love your honesty so much and how you always explore things so clearly. There's nothing wrong with questioning and showing that may help those out there that are struggling.
I’ve changed my mind so many times and Im literally identifying as a lost jelly bean rn. In 7th grade I came out as Trans then 8th gender queer then cis then here I am now knowing I am 100% not cisgender but I am not 100% sure what the heck I am. So I’m just experimenting around. But this video is so helpful because there was time when I was younger where I would cry thinking “this isn’t me I’m not trans because I’m not sure” and I always felt trapped because I wasn’t sure and no one openly talks about questioning everything so this video helps so much
Ash, honestly this is helping me so freaking much right now. I am giving myself permission to explore my gender, as once I started college I started to just kinda start dressing more masculine, wearing masculine cologne, underwear, clothing, having my hair short and honestly I did it almost subconciously like I just am going with it. I don't really wanna define anything right now, I love being who I am, and anytime I feel the need to pressure myself into thinking that I need to decide whether or not I'm NB or a trans guy, or trans at all, whether or not I am just a masculine female. I always come back to your videos and the advice you and grayson give me in real life when I talked to you guys the other day. Its super helpful, thank you so much.
Thank you for posting this video, Ash. It feels like we’ve been going on this journey together because I started questioning my gender around the time your video came out, I started binding a little bit before your binding video came out, and I’ve been working all year on my top surgery plans. Questioning such a big part of our identity journey and I love that you’re willing to share that vulnerability with us.
I question all the time if I am going to take testosterone and I agree with you that if it has permanent changes, it should be well thought out.
You are so wonderful at making people feel ok and normal about themselves. Hearing all the stories from people who have changed their mind has made me feel ok and normal, and it feels great to know that I'm not the only one who has changed their mind. Why do we think it is so wrong to change our mind? And I have struggled with my mind changes and you have just made me feel ok about it, thank you!
Omg you’re getting top surgery on my birthday 😆 we can celebrate together
3 years later and even now these videos still help me thank you
I love this video format with chapters:))💓
should I do this more world?
I think you should as long as you like doing it
Thank you so much, Ash. So so so so much. For who you are, and for your wisdom, and for sharing it with us.
Ash, I'm just a boring heterosexual, and have been following you for quite some time. Your videos lean towards dynamic (proposal), and your words are truthful. Thank you for just being you. ♡♡♡
Love your openness and honesty not only with yourself, but the world too. Thanks for always being true to self and inspiring us to do the same! ❤️
this is me!!! This! Is! Me! oh my GOD seeing someone who finally is talking about being confused and questioning is such a relief. It’s so confusing and hard to navigate, especially as a young lgbt person.
Awesome job on this. There's always kernels of doubt in anything we do in life, and I love how you've given voice and forum to those at all stages of their journey. You kick ass! 👍
i only watched ch 4 but all those people were so beautiful and awesome and this was great
ahhhh I LOVE that you talked about this. I always feel so guilty because I don't know what I am and I think I should. It's so comforting to have someone tell you it's okay to question and try things. Thank you Ash♡
Hi Ash. I think that I have chest dysphoria and your videos have helped me a lot thank you so so so much. I also think that I am non binary and it is super confusing. Thank you for helping me understand that I can tell people that I’m confused. Thank you!♥️
Thanks for the heart! You’re amazing!
Your videos are soooo good for people to watch. Everyone needs these reminders and reinforcements. Thank you for what you do!
Its great that you talk openly about this! Your a true icon and insporation!! 💖
I needed this Ash. Thank you.❤️ The world needed to hear this.
I saw this and I auto clicked
I love following you along on this journey❤️❤️
I have learned so much from watching your videos! I love how thoughtful, honest, brave, and horizon-expanding this (and every other) video is.
I think I‘m really lucky to have very small boobs, so I can decide every day to wear a sports bra and have like no boobs at all or to wear a normal bra and have breasts so I never had to think about a surgery.
But I feel so sorry for the many ppl, that are struggling with these kinds of thoughts.
I love how you talk in this confident way about the right to change your mind about things.
This is such an importend video.
I adore this so much. Besides the amazing message (that I wholeheartedly support), it's wonderful to see all those people telling their stories and experienes. I love that you let your viewers contribute to your videos, it makes the community very thight-knit and gives the opportunity to open the conversation for people all over the spectrums and broaden our horizons. It's incredible!
At first I was like I'm bi and then I was like nope I'm pan and then I was like I'm gender fluid and then I was like nah bi gender and now I'm like agender. So I had to feel some other identities and that's fine
blueforyou love OMG same!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS ASH! This video is honestly so validating and encouraging for my questioning self! Keep being amazing and sharing your experiences, they're much appreciated
YES!!! I LOVE THE NEO PRONOUN POSITIVITY!!! THATS RIGHT MY DUDERINO!!!!
Thank you so much Ash for posting this ! I think what you discussed is super important and I almost never see people talking about it.This video means the world to me 💞 also hearing the stories of others really helps me
whatever you do, we support you! ❤️
Thank you so much for making this, it’s so important. I’m personally still questioning myself and I’ve been worried about how embarrassing it might be to come out and end up changing my mind.
Thanks so much, I needed this ^^
you are so so brave, ash.
ily
This is so beautiful, I love it so much. The music, the structure, the people, just all of it is so nice to watch. So thank you for that 😊❤️
Ooooo, how about a video on the multiverse theory. ;)
Thank you Ash for being so open and honest about your journey. It's been super hard for me being non binary and not knowing anyone else who is like me. It leaves me with a lot of questions and insecurities and it is really nice to see that what I'm feeling is normal and totally valid and ok.
I outed myself 3 years after I realized that I am trans. I needed 3 more years to start taking testosterone. An this week, I will get top surgery. And I am over 2 and a half years on testosterone. I needed my time, but I never regret my decisions.
Some people need time, some change their mind. This is part of the process and totally ok.
oh man i hope everyone questioning their identity finds your vids. thank you so much for this Ash, struggling with doubting my own identity and decisions has always been super tough. it's good to know that it's not a unique experience. much love to you!
I’m so thankful for this video, it’s what I needed right now, I’m so terrified of top surgery (I’m really squeamish) but I really want it to happen. My mum thinks I’m not trans enough because i questioned it for a while, she refuses to use my name and pronouns. Hearing this makes me feel so much better.
Love that you haven't come across the type of video/content or person to look up to or help you with your journey however your openness and willingness to share your journey and support will no doubts be the content and help someone's going to come across and have for support. Keep doing you, Ash. Much love and support. 😊
I agree with you. I think it’s okay to change your mind. In fact, I just did it recently. I do not like my real name, so I go by Ida Grace, or just Ida, with close friends. And as soon as I can, I want to get everything changed so it all says Ida or Ida Grace. It’s a name I’ve always wanted.
I don't know you but I'm proud of you and enjoy going by your new name :)
Rory Christie i don’t know you either, but I need to say this. You just made my day. Call me an exaggerator, but every single time someone says they’re proud of me or that it’s okay to go by a different name than the one I was assigned at birth, it makes me feel so much better.
Ida Grace is a really nice name I hope everything goes well for you and people are accepting.
Thank you, they/them. Fortunately, all of my friends have been excepting. My family, not so much.
I'm not even sure I realized how much I needed this video on so many different levels. I'm just so incredibly grateful for you, Ash. You always come through for us 💖🧡💛💚💙💜✨✨✨
I just had my first consultation for doing *something* about my chest. The talk was about my options, I think I'm in a similar place to where you were. I thought breast reduction might be my easiest route but apparently it could only get me down to a C cup and that still feels huge and not what I want. But the doctor actually did have some non-binary examples he'd done! They weren't up on his website because they're quite niche but they did exist!
I'm unsure currently about what path I'll take but this video has helped me feel less alone and full of failure.
Oh my goodness, watching this today and checking the date and seeing that you'll be getting your surgery tomorrow made me really nervous and excited for you!! I nearly started crying, I'm so happy and excited for you!
This makes me happy! I've recently came out as non binary to my friends and asked them to call them Eden but now I've been questioning the name i chose and i kind of want to change it. But im scared to change it. I don't want to confuse them.
Shadow_Eden you may confuse them at first, but thats OKAY. this is for you, not them, and if they are real friends they will do their best to learn and understand even with confusion
You are brilliant and I am glad you didn't let those mean responses get in your nerves.
I think you are the most aware person in the universe, because you take your time to question everything that you are, and everything that you do.
I strive to be like you in that aspect.
I would love for you to make a video about how to raise a child "genderless" or in a neutral way until they start defining themselves. I don't have kids but I'm trying to find info about it and everything seems very confusing and contradictory, there are barely any testimonials and I feel it is a conversation that should start happening so we all learn
I think you should raise your children without gender roles, not genderless.
I love you Ash I can’t thank you enough for all of your amazing hard work and exceptional content. You are amazing and helping SOOO many people. Ah! Thank you!!!
I changed my mind so much oh god
I first thought I was a bi (because I was atracted to female but also had a male crush of some sort) then I thought I was pan (becuse I didn't really mind any non binary identifies too) then I relized I might be an ace (because this wasn't a sexual atraction really but I always put a question mark on it because I am still a minor), then I jumped to being an ace lesbian and now ace and aro but I am really unsure
and about my gender I am jupming between agender, not spacific non binary, cis girl, demi girl, trans, I just don't know, just give me a binder and let me be
anyway, thanks for making this video, you help me feel more valid
I just wanted you to know that I really needed this video, and i really needed to find YOU when I did. You have articulated so much of what I have been going through, and made me feel so much more okay about my doubts and fears and validation. This video is so important. You are so important. You are helping people everywhere, by being brave and proud and I'm so proud of YOU. I would give anything to meet you just to give you a hug and tell you thank you for being strong and brave and kind. Thank you for helping me find myself. Thank you for sharing your honesty and questions with the world and loving yourself through it and showing people why it's okay to love themselves and their doubts too. I'm proud of you for doing what's right for you and thrilled that you are finding things that are making you happier and healthier! I am pretty sure every single of one of your videos has made me cry and I am grateful for it. So much love to you, Ash. You have contributed greatly to changing my life.
Gender queer pancake lol that is the cutest term I've ever heard.
Thank you so much for making this video. ❤ It really is helping me a lot to know that there's others that are just having as much of a hard time as I do with figuring things out.
Great vid! Very interesting as a hetero-cis-male who has never had to question these things.
You are not alone. I'm right there with you. It feels good to know that there are other people out there just like myself.
On the *being 1000% sure* thing: if one could say that perhaps transitioning isn't for them unless they're a billion times sure, couldn't the same be said if they're certain they *aren't cis* or fit any of the binary norms either? We're all kind of stuck in a spectrum in some form or the other
Thank you for helping make room for everyone to share and celebrate their stories! ❤️
I remember watching you when you had super long hair
It was always actually a wig.
Ash Hardell 😱 I never knew all these years and I never knew
Ash Hardell wait for real
THANK YOU SO MUCH, thank you for making this video. I see so much of myself in you and having that representation helps so much and i legit started crying watching this because its exactly how i have been feeling to.
Have you looked into estrogen blockers used for preventing further development of breast development after surgery. I don't know if this is or isn't an issue, but i do know if your body produces estrogen and progesterone, there might be some breast growth.
You are so awesome and brave! I am so thankful that you get important messages out to the public! Thank you for sharing your story and others stories!
lmao thechop(tm) is making me laugh
I just wanted to say that you are awesome and I have watched the first 12 mins of this video like 5x. You present everything so well and seem so nice and genuine. I wish you good luck on your surgery and hope it is everything you want it to be. Keep on being you! :)
I love and agree with everything you said, absolutely. A thought strikes me though - When people are always reassuring other people that they're trans, like the 'don't worry if your not sure, you're still trans!' stuff, why is it so important to be trans? =/ It makes it sound like if someone were to realize that they're not trans that that's bad because being trans is inherently something you should definitely be =/ It's not just saying 'you're valid' it's saying 'don't worry, you're still trans'... I don't know how to phrase it, but I'm noticing more recently this shift from 'exploration is fine and your identity is totally valid no matter what it is or how you got there' to 'you are trans no matter what you do, don't worry, you're trans, it's fine you can still be trans' as though the reassurance isn't about identity and validity but more about just reassuring people that they're trans. Like a label without a meaning or substance... I hope that made sense, and if it did, has anyone else noticed this?
so i haven't noticed this the way you describe it, but what comes to my mind is: there is so much going against id'ing and exploring a trans identity. start with internalised transphobia (which is a biggie). a strong emphasis on a "classical trans narrative" (and if you don't follow that, you're not "trans enough"). fear. shame and guilt for being "complicated". other external factors. sexuality can be a confusing factor. etc etc. so what i'm getting at is, if s/o is questioning their gender and leaning towards trans, more often than not they need a looot of reassurance that it's okay to be trans, and to be trans the way they are, because of all the crappy things inside and out trying to convince them it's not, not worth it, they're not real, not valid, whatever. so i think because it can be so hard to be trans, we often need that extra nudge, that extra reassurance and encouragement and safe space. i certainly do.
so i don't know, maybe you can take this as a possible explanation for your observation (which i find very interesting)? if i even make sense - it is difficult to put into words :D alongside that i certainly think that everybody should be encouraged to explore and try things and change their minds (including trans folks, of course), which is conveyed so beautifully in this video :)
When I stumbled apon your channel a couple months again, I absolutely fell in love. I was confused about my self and everything about myself... I still am but your helping me threw this section of discovery. I never felt like an Intire girl or woman. Your helping me understand and come up with ways to help me come out to my Christian side of my family. I love you ❤️ Your a great inspiration for me.
Ash I am a girl but I don’t like my chest I listen to your vids about top surgery but I don’t know how my girlfriend or my family would feel about it. What should I do.
Minecraft Warrior
Well there's several options:-)
You could go talk to a therapist about it, they might also help you to talk to your family and girlfriend.
You could test the waters and talk about similar stuff without mentioning your own relation with the issue.
You could look for some people on the internet (or irl) who feel the same
You could tell someone you're absolutely sure they won't react badly
Write down your feelings about it
Oh, and if you tell other people, I'd advise you to share as much of your feelings as you can:-)
I've loved keeping up with your journey, Ash. I'm not transgender but you always make me feel like whatever it is I feel about anything at all in life is absolutely valid and okay. It also makes me more open to other people's circumstances and gives me good information so that I can have conversations about it with others - both cis and trans people. So thank you, Ash 😊❤
Why is this me?
Man I loved this video! It made me feel more confident in myself, and made me realize that I'm not alone. ❤❤❤ Thank you Ash! Sending all the love I can!!