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VLOG | I HAD A WHOLE IMAGINARY BF... DELUSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS. COPING W/ LONELINESS
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- Опубликовано: 18 фев 2024
- A Day In The Life of a Full Time Content Creator | Work Week In My Life | Accounts Payable Coordinator | Accounts Payable Specialist | Content Creator in Atlanta | Administrative Assistant | Quit 9-5 | Full Time Influencer
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As a therapist, your words were so spot on! Also, I love the self reflection and how you are able to share this with humor. I also believe your words come with wisdom and maturity. I think its fair to say that we've all had moments like this and I love when we grow from it. Much love
More women need to share these stories as a way to help other women. So many women unknowingly allow men to waste their time. We need to start encouraging women to shut it down the moment you see he doesn't want you. And not stay in a situation hoping things change. Men take advantage of women knowing that women will hold on as long as they give them false signs of hope. Let's stick together as women and change tide.
You are definitely not the only one that has experienced the imaginary bf syndrome. 😩Thank God redeeming us 😊
I've been in a one sided relationship before...so embarrassing🤦🏾♀️
Lol it’s definitely a learning experience
I’ve been celibate for 8 yrs and it’s worth it you have to stay connected with god and know your worth
Me too-- for 11 years!!
Good job girls !
11 years too!
Going on 9 years for me being celibate.
This chat is sooo relatable..I have been there; when you put your all into someone in hopes that they see your value and they just walk all over your feelings annd use to their adan advantage..that sounds all to familar
I love your hair. The style really suits you.
Thank you love ❤
The sit down chat resonated with me so much. I was in something like this for about 6 months when I was 22 and that was the WORST thing I’ve ever been through in my life. On top of the imaginary relationship I had created, he was also treating me really poorly. It took a long time for me to heal from that
I’m glad you spoke on this ❤topic because I have been there in my dating times. Wanting a man to see you more than they are. At age 37 I see relationships sooooooo more mature and my mindset is more healthy. Thank god 😂
Yess girl! ❤
Hey Hannah. I know it took so much courage to have this conversation, and it was so worth it. Thank you for being so vulnerable, intentional, honest and courageous to have this much needed Adult Conversation. Love you and appreciate the content.❤
I’m laughing so hard because we have lived too much of a similar life it’s hysterical when I look back on things that I used to deal with before. 😅
😂#growth
Hannah... after a high school situationship, I had Aaliyah's "I Miss You" on repeat. We never dated or went beyond kissing, but I convinced myself that he was my soulmate. Which is crazy bc I never even really liked him til he was gone😅.
Cvd19 happened, and all my friends were getting married and having cvd babies... I felt inadequate and left behind.
Simultaneously, while all that was going on, I had other things happen that made me get closer to God. And God set me right and is still refining me in some areas. But I got over and stopped thinking about that guy. I'm kinda embarrassed that it took so long.😅😂
GIRL...... I was screaming at the screen because this resonated SO much with me. TYSM for sharing. My story is very similar, 2 years of "hanging out" at his place, zero dates and dating, it ripped my guts out to put that delusion on ice, and looking back at it, I was crying over literal spilled milk, but because of my prior conditioning and the circumstance I was in, I convinced myself that somehow, it was okay to be in a state with someone where they are not even doing the bare minimum. It all goes back to self-awareness, recognizing the "signs" early, and having a blueprint of what a normal, reciprocal, caring connection looks like, otherwise you will fall for ANYTHING.
I use to be in a delusional relationship😂 girl that man ain’t want me. I was like a spare tire. I was around but not needed😂 I got myself together now and it feels good. Men actually gross me out now that I’m older, but that’s another story for another time. 😂
😂a spare tire 😂that’s exactly how it is
For reallll!! I'm like, what's the hype😂😂
HANNAH when I tell you I was in a very similar situationship and just got out of it about a month ago. Luckily mine only lasted 9 months but it was 9 months TOO LONG. especially in the beginning when I saw the good side to him and how good of a partner he would be. After giving it up was when he said he didn’t want anything serious. Then 8 months later he finally tells me he found someone who he wanted to be serious with. That actually broke me,, but now I am glad to say I’m free of the shackles. I’m never going back to that type of relationship ever again girl. I felt so delusional overthinking everything he would tell me and our interactions. It was embarassing
Hannah, you have made so much progress. You expressed your deepest thoughts and feelings. I am sure your video will help many that sit in silence. This man was not your husband. When you meet your husband. Your relationship will flow like water. He will want to show you off to everyone.
Both of the guys you spoke about was what i experienced with one man and he broke my heart. I wanted him so bad that I tolerated things when the writings were on the wall that he didn't truly care for me and saw me as a little play thing.
I had a gut feeling to stay away from him, but i thought i was being paranoid. No i was being warned. That situation cause me to lose confidence in myself and i would replay each event over and over again in my head like "what could i have done differently? Why didn't he see my worth? What did she do differently?" Etc.
If i could go back in time and truly talk to myself about what will take place i would, but unfortunately i can't. Having memories of someone i truly valued, but didn't value me and feeling like I loss to someone else felt painful, but it was a lesson learned.
I’m happy you spoke on this. I’ve struggled with this in the past and have to tell myself to leave the past where it is but i tend to be a little nosy so every once in a while I go searching 😅. But the advice here was good. Its hard out here for us singles but once you get to a point of realization its refreshing.
😂😂I’ve been there girl
Thanks for sharing! I had a similar situation with a guy in college and it helps to know I’m not the only one who fell into something like that
this story was shared in a respectful way
Hannah, sometimes we accept what we think we deserve because want love so badly. It’s hard to work through, but I’m you’re on the other side of it. ❤
Hannah, let me tell you something. I am somewhat older than you. And believe me we are swimming in the same boat. Thank God for a supportive family!!❤ Dating isn’t easy and it’s very tricky. GOD SAID VENGEANCE IS MINE!
Omg this ❤ thank you Hannah. It’s good to know that other people have experienced the same thing.
Please share the podcast that prompted this conversation!!! So good and timely. Thank you for your transparency
Hey hun, it was an interview I came across here’s the link ruclips.net/video/6J4rYD7bG74/видео.htmlsi=pt71QuvZa3AjW-NB
Such a mature conversation
I had a similar situation, and he wanted to take me on a date once I got in a relationship. I changed my number. 😂 I can relate also on being vulnerable after a breakup, and having to build myself up with God’s help.❤
I love how you broke the story down because it’s hard to go through the process again to recognize all the factors that were involved. It’s hard to build strong/long term friendships let alone a whole New Romantic relationship.
My momma always said, when seek the cow when you can get the milk Free!! That hurt my feelings so bad, but that was and is the truth now...
Momma ain’t told no lies 💯
Good evening! Your hair is cute and your outfit of the day. I am 54 and I have been there in my younger days. So, you are not the only one. Singleness is a blessing and I'm not giving it up for any old body. Some of these men out here are something else. I know my worth now. And I get it because it can be tough when you want to be in a relationship or one day you want to get married.
❤
Hannah thank you so much for being vulnerable and honest and sharing a part of your story with us. I dated my then bf now husband for about 7 years and we’ve been married 6 years so I really didn’t have the experience a lot of people have when it comes to dating highs and lows. I’m proud of you for recognizing the things that we’re going on that needed a positive change and I’m sorry he was an idiot by missing out on the best person he would ever know. You are a talented, independent, beautiful and wise lady and I cannot wait to see how your happily ever after unfolds. Know that you have people like me that are rooting for you and want you to be happily in love whether it’s with yourself for a season or with your hubby to be! I love you Hannah! 💕
Love this! Thank you love ❤that is a blessing you didn’t have to go through the foolishness lol
You're welcome! Praying it all works out for you! 💕@@hannaholivia
Hi Hannah,
Sending you hugs ❤. As a 41 year old women, I think it's very important to try not to focus on finding a lifelong partnership. Men do not have the same aspiration. As a result, women tend to get hurt.
It's important to live your life, travel, expand your business, progress in your career, or study. As single person, we don't need the validation of a man.
Can totally relate and scared to waste anymore of my youth years with dudes. I think this is meant to be a 360 for my life to get it together. ❤ your vids Hannah!
I think you mean a 180 😊
Nothing steers me straight like a bad relationship does..
Good luck on your journey of growth!
@@faithhancock8247 haha yes whichever one means making the change
Ive had a situation (or two) like this over the years. This was so relatable and it's so crazy once you have that "click" in your mind, look back and realize what you were doing. Ive come a long way but man I remember it wasnt too long ago where I was in that situation. I would love more conversations like this. Thanks for sharing!
It’s things like that, I wish so much of us heard back then. I feel like it would’ve helped a lot! It’s good to know where we stand now, but man! That younger me would’ve been so grateful to hear that. I worry about my niece and nephews and want to make sure they get a chance to have that same self worth
Wow Thanks for sharing! I am currently going through this same thing, mainly due to intense loneliness:( I really agree that I need to stop being delusional about the situation. The right person will never be shady.
Girl!!!!!!!❤❤❤ This is a talk!!!! I can relate with it all. Hannah you deserve the best for your life. Grieve. Heal. Move forward indeed once you can. I am shook. My God! Your calling is taljs such as this! Dear Lord please order her steps.
You look beautiful.
Very relatable. I look back now on some of the things I did when younger. Whewww I got some stories to tell . Wish I had all the common sense I have today.
Thanks for sharing... This is something I believe we all experience at some point. It's hard to be aware that things that you desire are not what you NEED
Wow. This was a great topic. I have been there too. 😢 I love you for sharing. You are so right because that’s not a relationship. Your OOTD was cute and love your hair. ❤
Hi Hannah.
Even though i've never met you I think of you as a little sister.
I know this may sound weird but you make me so proud because you are incredible young lady.
So as your "big sister" and for all of you other ladies out there, know that what you have experienced is nothing new and you should not be so hard on yourself. I'm happy you learned a lesson from it but I just feel like it's unfortunately, something most women , if they're honest, have gone through. A good percentage of us will go through that stage and get our hearts broken. . We are extremely trusting and you grew up in a very similar way that I did and I was also very naive and a lot of other women are like that as well. After I got pretty far into it, when it happened to me. I had a wonderful father who was so good at talking to me about men and the way they behave.
I think sharing your story was the positive thing to do.
I know you said that you would address this as some other point later, but I want to touch on what you touched on which was about abstinence. Just because you or anyone made the decision at the time to have an intimate relationship before you are married, it doesn't mean that you have to continue to do that going forward? Committed relationship? Engaged? Everyone has to make that decision for themselves. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you are married. I don't care how old you are. I remember watching something not long ago where the guy said to the female, he wanted to be the one that waited for her. I think that was so beautiful and that's what we want. Someone worth having will wait for you. It's so easy to make the mistake of feeling that because someone's giving you their attention and because they want to be intimate with you that we mistake that for them really liking or loving you or that they're falling in love with us but that usually isn't true. Men are just trying to scratch their itch.
I have a co-worker who is definitely old enough to know better who has never really been in a relationship but I don't think she realizes that. She is just been used time and time and time again. She makes a mistake of sleeping with a guy, almost right away and she's one of those who I feel thinks that because a guy is interested in sleeping with her that means that he is interested in her and having a relationship with her. But he's not. They never go anywhere and-- never on a date. Just like you said come hanging out at his house, watching a little tv and then to bed they go!I I pointed out to her, and she also has the audacity even to get jealous when she finds out thst he's with someone else also or looking even and I've said to her that they aren't thinking of you as a couple because you're not a couple. He's just having sex with you. She just doesn't want to accept that even though it's happened to her time and time in time and time and time again. It's really sad.
To me sex is extremely intimate and it should not be casual or recreational. It's something that you want to share only with someone who's extremely special to you and who's earned the right to be that intimate with you because you're already very intimate on other levels. The privilege of getting to know you that well and all those intimate things about you kind of what you're like in that way and those kind of things should not be something that multiple men know about you.
🤗
Thanks for sharing. I’m currently going through this and it’s so hard. It’s like nobody understands.
Whew Chile!!!!! This hit home for me!!! That’s why I’ve been single & celibate since December 2021. I thought I was the only one who went through this
Hi Hannah, just turned 26 in December, and you just explained a situation that I’m trying to get out of. I had it bad; thinking about him all the time , hoping he’d text me and if he did, him texting me would be the highlight of my day, imagining a future together, etc. (had it this bad but didn’t do anything sexual with him)He ghosted me in July last year, but I was still hoping he’d dm me. This year, I’m trying to detach myself from thinking about him and doing more self love/ self dates and getting to know new people and new places. I really needed this advice, thank you Hannah!!! ❤️🩹❤️
Hey Hannah❤ can you please do a makeup tutorial 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 please! Your makeup always looks so flawless.
I have been single my whole life. Every man I was with, I thought in my brain, I was the girlfriend. It was all in my head. I have been traumatized so much by men, I lost my desire to be married and have kids. Now, I just stay to myself and I’m too scared to date. I’m 38, and God is good. ❤
I would say even if you go on dates in public you have to pay attention to their words and actions. I had a very similar situation with a guy and we went on dates, met each other’s friends, he paid for trips, and we had the most amazing conversations ever. He even helped me move and we met each other’s parents but over the course of 3 years we weren’t in a relationship, we just dated. I thought he was the PERFECT guy and he told me I was amazing and gorgeous but in the end nothing came of it. We had countless conversations about being together but it was always something different. After we finally cut ties I went into a full blown depression because I thought we were best friends. But yeah….i learned the hard way not to allow the idea of a relationship to keep such a tight grip on me.
Thank you for being so transparent in sharing your story. I have definitely been there before. I’m finally ready to start dating again and I pray that all the hard work I’ve put into my healing journey doesn’t put me back there because I can definitely see that happening again, maybe not on the same level but definitely a slippery slope if I don’t stick to my healthy routines and coping skills. I needed to hear this today ❤
That’s beautiful, I’m so proud of you ☺️
Hannah!! Thank you for sharing this, your talk really resonated with me, u have no idea!
❤
I don't think I've been this girlie before and I'm so proud of your transparency and vulnerability in sharing. I'm on the other spectrum I easily walk away and I am super independent which can be detrimental in its own right.. that is why my word is Balance this year working on finding a happy Medium .. love you for sharing 💜💜💜
10/10 on this video Hannah. It's so refreshing to see other women that's been in situationships and learned life lessons from it. More story times please 🤗.
Hannah, you are NOT alone in this situation. Emotionally, it took me 2.5 years to get over a man that made it seem like me and him would be together (I later found out he had a baby with a woman he claimed he didn't want to be with). Me and him were sooooo compatible from the jump; it was SCARY how in sync we were. I knew me and him would never be together bc he did us both dirty, but I couldn't date until I was over him. Healed from that man and found my now partner 2 months into dating again. He's my best friend. Now the guy from the past is calling/texting over a year later bc he "misses me." I leave him on read and hope he has the life he deserves. YOUR TIME IS COMING. Praying you find your Knight in shining armor very soon.
OMG!! I’m so there with you on this,I’m starting my channel over with talking about this kind of things .
This message was sooooo relatable. Girl I was just doing the same thing about a year ago. Thank God I woke up & saw I was worth so much more. ❤
This was good Hannah and I think you may have found your new platform❤🙏🏽
Love this vlog. I try to speak with my daughters about this all the time. Many people needed to hear this!❤
Loved the discussion. Thank you for sharing your story! It empowers so many other women!
Yeah all of this definitely needed to be heard. It's easier said than done to "know your worth" and "don't entertain certain things from men" and I'm sure a lot of us can relate to that, but we'll get there. I think we need more communities of like-minded women in person so we don't feel so isolated and we don't continuously fall into these traps when we're feeling alone, touch-deprived even, and desiring that type of romantic relationship. There needs to be something healthy going on to offset it and keep our attention off it until our time and the right man does come along.
Hannah I know you don’t like talking about your personal life but the things you say are so relatable. I think 9 out of 10 people have been in that exact situation. A good portion probably are in the situation. Ain’t it funny how when you’re no longer in the situation and how you can see things so much clearer. Girl it be so funny afterwards 😂
Hannah, I like this kinda video. There is so much "talking going on YT", LOVE how you shared your take on what you heard & how it helped you!
Thank you so much for sharing your story so relatable ❤❤❤❤
I felt that 100%. I'm much older and experienced the exact same thing. Thanks for being transparent.
Hannah this was a good chat I went through something similar to your story after I lost my husband of 15yrs suddenly, and I just couldn’t cope with his passing and I felt so lonely and like you said that need for closeness with a significant other was such a desire, so I TOTALLY relate in some instances thanks for sharing this, I have healed 💯 % since then it’s been about 3 years now I am a totally renewed and very strong woman, God has delivered me and blessed me with a man that loves me like I am used to being loved, I did do healing through counseling inside and outside.
I have been here and have never spoke of it. Thank you for your transparency. It definitely helped me.
Been there got the tshirt. I realized later I was in love with what it could be & not the reality of what it was
I really enjoy all your content but this talk today was so good and I know it took you a lot to share but I’m so glad you did because it helped me so much.
❤❤ I definitely resonate witth the talk you had!! Been there several times.
Looking beautiful ❤ the hair, makeup and outfit. 😮💨
Thanks for sharing. I really need to hear this,unfortunately it sounds like my current situation. Taking a step back and seeing for what it is always needed. Thanks Hannah
Ma'am. You are not alone. Before marriage, I was right there. I was completely delusional. Nevertheless it's a lesson you will be so much wiser and stronger from. ❤
This vlog top tier!!!! You are not alone. I wish I could tell my younger self not to share your precious gift with someone who isn't going to commit. But it's a lesson I will teach my daughter.
Your hair looks beautiful😍
That outfit was niiiiiiice!🔥
Thanks for sharing❤️
I'm so glad you talked about this! I def experienced this in friendships. I would be the one being a better friend to them than they are to me. OR I would think I was close to ppl like sisters, and they only let me into their lives when they felt convinced 😢
Hannah this video was so good are you able to pin the video you watched that helped you . Also, thank you for your transparency.
Hey hun, it was an interview I came across ruclips.net/video/6J4rYD7bG74/видео.htmlsi=pt71QuvZa3AjW-NB
Please drop the link to the video of the woman. Great story!
Good chat, sis. He was "that guy" everyone has had "that guy" in their lives at least once 🤦🏽♀️. The most important thing is that we got through it, and learned from it.
girl that scripture post will get ya. oh he knows God! but no relationship with The Lord. i fell for that before.
😂😂
Very relatable, been there more times than I would like to admit. Everything was spot on, thanks for your vulnerability.
Yes, ITS YOU, sorry 😂 typing while still listening. Yes it’s so true, I love the self awareness.
I'm sorry that you weren't through that, but I'm also happy that you learned from it.
Thank you for sharing and we all have gone through something similar somewhat. I just wished I lived myself then as much as I do now. I would not have wasted so much time investing into something I was the only one fighting for.
What made you say like enough is enough.
I'm late to the party on this video.But this was a very good video to me.One of the best ones you've done so far.I've seen myself in everything.That was said great job.
I was expecting a totally fictional boyfriend, based on the title, but I think it’s normal to see possibilities when we meet someone. It’s the beginning of the vetting process. The problem is putting the cart ahead of the horse. A man needs to prove through his words and actions that he’s sincere and values, respects, and appreciates you. And it’s both words and actions because, while there are certainly men who will blatantly lie to your face, a lot of men have a paper-thin sense of honor so as long as they can claim they never made any promises they’ll have a guilt free conscience.
Girl -- You inspire me to not get lazy and cook more =) Love the cooking content!
I watched a video about Limerence that dealt with a very similar subject matter. Whew! 😫
Spot On!!! I've been there!
I needed this relationship chat Hannah !!!
Thank you for sharing this was definitely hitting home. I been there done that and I just to myself the other day I need to fully let go thank you for sharing
😮💨 I know this took a lot for you to open up Hanna ❤and we appreciate it. I’m taught my daughter to be selfish with herself until a guy comes along and don’t play about her 😅she is 17yr and have a boyfriend who don’t play about here 😊 I also talk to woman and young girls about this. Men know what they truly want, but we as woman can’t play their games. I have been married for 10yrs and im 38yrs today 🎊 I am thankful I don’t have to do the dating thing 😅 but keep going ❤your husband out there somewhere.
so glad you made that disclaimer, be back later
girl been there!! spot on speaking all facts!
HANNAH! Lol these stories were hilarious 😂 but insightful!
😂😂❤
You look so beautiful sweetheart. I enjoyed your video as always love 🥰💝
Heyy girl heyy ❤
@@hannaholivia hey sweetheart 😄🥰♥️
Thank you for your transparency and courage to open up about this! Cuz babeeeee,,,, IT SPOKE TO ME! 😫 Do you mind sharing the video you were watching? I feel like I’m experiencing the same thing right now 🫠 Also, love your videos so much Hannah! ❤️🤗
Love that advice Hannah!
I love how you can look back now and laugh that you met you ex at church ☠️😅
😂😂
Great video. I love your hair. Do you mind sharing where you got it from?
Thanks hun 💕here’s the info: ♥Use code " HA15 " to get an extra $15 OFF !
♥Kinky Curly headband wig link: bit.ly/46Pqfj6
THANKS!
I love this vlog! Resonated w/me! Can you please link the video you’re referencing?
OMG...I am late to the game in replying but I have sooo dated people like this. Me paying for everything. Me driving to them ALL THE TIME, or the majority of the time. Like - I would slap my old self in the face so hard if I could go back in time. I'm so thankful I am past both of those relationships now (one of them was also emotionally abusive) - but geez, I get so embarrassed sometimes looking back. But God is good, and we move forward.
That hair looks great on u
I relate so much to! Thanks for sharing ❤
Needed to hear this! ❤