Rome Total War Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 1,4 тыс.

  • @thespiffingbrit
    @thespiffingbrit  Год назад +1780

    *I am sure the developers perfectly balanced the games auto resolve to factor in how weak peasants are relative to unit size...*

    • @andrewphillips8341
      @andrewphillips8341 Год назад +12

      We aren't you saluting the King?

    • @anonofanon
      @anonofanon Год назад +16

      For the Yorkshire Empire!!!

    • @SaigesArstgo1031
      @SaigesArstgo1031 Год назад +14

      I love that you aren't saluting the king lol
      Things heating up in the british fandom

    • @kendog3419
      @kendog3419 Год назад +6

      Ngl didn't know this was uploaded 30 min ago thought it said 30 days XD

    • @ctg4818
      @ctg4818 Год назад +12

      A design choice (numbers > stats) that is in just about every single Total War game lol

  • @danielhale1
    @danielhale1 Год назад +1853

    Spiff: They're affordable!
    Spiff: They're replaceable!
    Spiff: They're highly expendable!
    Me: I wish you wouldn't call me out like that

    • @AcornFox
      @AcornFox Год назад +24

      easy just be landed gentry duh

    • @_Ciosu..
      @_Ciosu.. Год назад +4

      No

    • @crissdace8358
      @crissdace8358 Год назад +5

      @@AcornFox i literally learned what a landed gentry was like a week ago I'm pretty sure I forgot but isn't that an insult ?

    • @-NxPx-Phoenix
      @-NxPx-Phoenix Год назад

      @@crissdace8358 in british english anything can be insult if you say it right, you absolute kettle.

    • @aaaaahhhhh9885
      @aaaaahhhhh9885 Год назад +11

      ​@@crissdace8358nah it's just the people who own land/nobles

  • @XtreeM_FaiL
    @XtreeM_FaiL Год назад +516

    -What are your orders, sir?
    -Kill their strongest units and the rest will run away!
    -Sir! Enemy doesn't have any strong units.
    -Wait what?

    • @nehcrum
      @nehcrum Год назад +67

      Well, as we saw, it did work, when they killed Spiffs general.

  • @No.00000
    @No.00000 Год назад +3243

    "An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep." ~ true brexit geezer

    • @slvrshore5300
      @slvrshore5300 Год назад +87

      so... based?

    • @release_the_Diddy_list
      @release_the_Diddy_list Год назад +336

      And correct. It’s bad for morale if the troops eat the General.

    • @googiegress
      @googiegress Год назад +146

      @@release_the_Diddy_list Well it's certainly not great for the general's morale.

    • @XtreeM_FaiL
      @XtreeM_FaiL Год назад +91

      @@release_the_Diddy_list are you sure? Italians seemed to do great after they killed Mussolini.

    • @TheTyke
      @TheTyke Год назад +55

      Although the Romans actually stated that the average Briton farmer, let alone warrior was larger and stronger than the average legionary. And was trained in combat at a very young age regardless of their role in society. In terms of individual strength and talent, the Britons far surpassed the Romans. What the Romans did was use mass produced, uniform equipment and training, and political maneuvering (Divide and Conquer).
      As Tacitus (Agricola 21) said, the Romans could not defeat the Britons militarily, so they introduced them to convenience and vice, and their luxury became their slavery.

  • @Yamato4002
    @Yamato4002 Год назад +3297

    You clearly haven't seen the best offer the AI does in this game
    Our offers: Please don't attack us
    Their offers: Accept or we will attack

    • @simey5639
      @simey5639 Год назад +66

      I think that's fixed in the remaster

    • @Gingerninja800
      @Gingerninja800 Год назад +214

      isn't that just a non aggression pact

    • @leadpaintchips9461
      @leadpaintchips9461 Год назад +55

      @@simey5639 Not fixed last I saw, plenty of screenshots of the remaster having it a bit after release.

    • @DeadObserver
      @DeadObserver Год назад +88

      It is such a good offer that even I as a true diplomat myself use it in some rare circumstances!

    • @stevenwebb3475
      @stevenwebb3475 Год назад +12

      ​@@leadpaintchips9461yeah but you can turn on the old diplomatic AI.

  • @PinataFreaks
    @PinataFreaks Год назад +1280

    "You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shutdown. Kif, show them the medal I won."
    - Zapp Brannigan

    • @springpurse
      @springpurse 11 месяцев назад +21

      "Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make"

    • @aleksatanaskovic9172
      @aleksatanaskovic9172 6 месяцев назад

      Does my memory serve me correctly, is that from BSG, the book?

    • @PinataFreaks
      @PinataFreaks 6 месяцев назад +5

      @@aleksatanaskovic9172 Futurama

    • @Wheres_the_money_lebowski
      @Wheres_the_money_lebowski 2 месяца назад

      Think it was also Lord Farquad said it in Shrek as well.

    • @PinataFreaks
      @PinataFreaks 2 месяца назад +3

      @@Wheres_the_money_lebowski No, Farquaad said "Some of you are going to die, but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make."

  • @TheArklyte
    @TheArklyte Год назад +821

    Spiff, destroying Roman Empire by using civilians with shivs: how oddly british...
    P.S.: I have a feeling that the "real" representation of battles would have been all roman legionaries being simply mugged in the night.

    • @tturi2
      @tturi2 Год назад +57

      they'd get shived for their shoes

    • @TheArklyte
      @TheArklyte Год назад +34

      @@tturi2 "I just want some shoes"

    • @topkek996
      @topkek996 Год назад +36

      Should have attacked a day after a football game when the grugs are all hungover

    • @roxxdude1
      @roxxdude1 Год назад +16

      Let's go mug 'em!!!!!!

    • @aaronbates4848
      @aaronbates4848 Год назад +10

      @@roxxdude1 Hey! Gimme that gold or I'll mug ya!

  • @johnjo6315
    @johnjo6315 Год назад +622

    Imagine being an elite soldier, trained only by the best and in an army of equally qualified and equally elite comrades and somehow you guys fight the average farmer armed with nothing but a rusted sword and the clothes on their back… and get absolutely manhandled

    • @ashenmask5301
      @ashenmask5301 Год назад +26

      Every "h" work featuring elves vs orcs/goblins

    • @alexturnbackthearmy1907
      @alexturnbackthearmy1907 Год назад +33

      I mean...there are billons of them and only few of yours. You kill one and 1000 men take his place and rob you from all your weapon and armor.

    • @sjs9698
      @sjs9698 Год назад +9

      @@alexturnbackthearmy1907 iirc ther romans managed to win vs ~100-1 odds against the horde B. brought to try & retake britain & they weren't (all) peasants ^^

    • @alexturnbackthearmy1907
      @alexturnbackthearmy1907 Год назад +7

      @@sjs9698 I meant game-wise. Its like a zerg horde, but with people, nightmare stuff.

    • @XenoEagle
      @XenoEagle Год назад +9

      @@alexturnbackthearmy1907 Agree, being trained should help, but that's the exact scenario of being good at self-defense. Say you can easily defend yourself vs someone with even a knife. But then, there are 5 of them. Well that's that. You died. Unless we talk about stuff like tanks vs cave-men, training won't make you invincible.

  • @Poweraded
    @Poweraded Год назад +875

    He’s back with another amazing total war game never thought I’d live to see this again

    • @gijsjanssen8965
      @gijsjanssen8965 Год назад +2

      Why

    • @IdentifiantE.S
      @IdentifiantE.S Год назад +2

      It's just so cool , it would have been criminal not to make another one.

    • @incognitoman3656
      @incognitoman3656 Год назад +12

      Total War: Crimes

    • @trentparrish9401
      @trentparrish9401 Год назад +6

      I was watching his older total war videos when this came out I thought I had a break from reality. I even reread the title thinking I was reading what I wanted to see or something. I found this channel three months ago and have been binging through all his videos and have liked every video and even bought a few of the games he’s showed as I found myself liking the game.

    • @joshalmightyblades
      @joshalmightyblades Год назад +1

      IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT WATCH IT! AS FOR US TEA DRINKERS, WE CANT WAIT!!!

  • @TheCulturedSwine
    @TheCulturedSwine Год назад +261

    Missed opportunity of naming the “Dude printer” that produces tons of peasants ; better name: Pez Dispenser

  • @teo8279
    @teo8279 Год назад +103

    Gauls be like :
    " Accept our demand or we will attack "
    Their demands :
    " Please do not attack "

    • @teebob21
      @teebob21 Год назад +6

      Never change, France, never change.

    • @greywolf7577
      @greywolf7577 Год назад +10

      I think it makes sense. Basically it is saying "If you attack us, we will attack you back".

    • @AlaricKerensky
      @AlaricKerensky Год назад +7

      It is just a Peace Treaty with extra steps.
      Big stick diplomacy.

  • @vinne6837
    @vinne6837 Год назад +316

    Ah, yes, the timeless tactic of throwing endless amounts of under supplied combatants at your enemy

    • @hungrymusicwolf
      @hungrymusicwolf Год назад +71

      Usually a Russian specialty but today replicated by the Britons.

    • @ravingcuriosity6345
      @ravingcuriosity6345 Год назад +16

      @@hungrymusicwolf hahaha I was about to say something like "Welcome to Russia" hahaha

    • @aydenlegleiter7810
      @aydenlegleiter7810 Год назад +5

      @@ravingcuriosity6345 was about to type something to the effect of 'the russian technique'

    • @Zeitgeist2000
      @Zeitgeist2000 Год назад +2

      It worked in korea

    • @Almond19912
      @Almond19912 Год назад +2

      The Moscow special

  • @sokandueler9578
    @sokandueler9578 Год назад +144

    “17,000 people are about to discover what the definition of a war crime is”
    This had me rolling 😂😂

    • @normalhuman9878
      @normalhuman9878 Год назад +1

      Technically the Geneva Conventions didn’t exist yet

  • @quintu5
    @quintu5 Год назад +137

    This makes me remember the days when I conquered half of Europe with my legendary "Belenus the Conqueror". This game makes you so much intrigued with your generals career.

  • @budwyzer77
    @budwyzer77 Год назад +148

    Chariots were SUPER overpowered in Rome: Total War's autoresolve so your general unit probably did a lot of the heavy lifting. That's why Britain and Egypt always took over their sections of the map.

    • @VoyageurCountry
      @VoyageurCountry Год назад +6

      True but they were also hot trash that exploded at the sight of arrows and javelins

    • @budwyzer77
      @budwyzer77 Год назад +39

      @@VoyageurCountry Not in autoresolve.
      In general chariots were pretty useless beyond scaring infantry and annihilating cavalry. Chariots mostly just knocked infantry down but cavalry lacked any means of getting back up.

    • @nehcrum
      @nehcrum Год назад +39

      @@budwyzer77 Because Rome:Total War (and several other TW-titles since then) had a rock-paper-scissors approach, with spearmen countering cavalry etc. And chariots against spearmen, or even worse, chariots charging into the front of a phalanx, is just a quick slaughter. But the autoresolve just gives an arbitrary value to a unit, regardless of composition and counters.
      Hence, chariots are very powerful, in autoresolve, as counters don't count.
      Same thing here with the peasants. Experience levels up their melee attack and melee defence. But they have no shields and little armour, which aren't affected by experience, so the counter is ranged missiles, which will cut them down (the counter to ranged is shields), but again, those things don't count in autoresolve. And peasants, having the weakest stats, of course benefits the most from fixed bonuses.

    • @An0niem4
      @An0niem4 11 месяцев назад +1

      Not only in autoresolve. I've had some absolutely incredible wins with the chariot-phalanx combo de Seleucids bring. Only a military genius can win this battle? Bring it.
      How I would defeat hordes of peasants? Some outstretched units of cheap phalanxes stretched out to fully join together in a continuous line blocking off a corner (or a full hexagon somewhere on the map) and the chariots running around, inflicting casualties, causing panic and keeping moving. As long as Seleucid chariots are not bogged down, they're invulnerable to anything without spears. If your chariots get tired, withdraw behind the phalanxes to rest. Peasants simply do not have the weight/armor to push through even a thin line of pikemen. With no chance of attacking from the rear, they will not get through. With a heavy cavalry general, you could sacrifice the bodyguard to break through, but guess what, this doesn't work with chariots, they die on impact.
      Both the phalanx and chariot are only defeated if you make a mistake. If you pay attention, you can rout armies with them.

    • @PreviewAvailable
      @PreviewAvailable 11 месяцев назад +2

      Yes, in retrospect, the chariot general was probably doing most of the work. They are completely obscenely overpowered and in VH/VH they are a menace that can solo your army. The minute his general died, everything fell apart.

  • @jordanhooper1527
    @jordanhooper1527 Год назад +731

    Love this game, currently destroying the Romans as Britain.
    I managed to kill 1100 Romans with 6 heavy chariot units losing only 75men

    • @jackhazardous4008
      @jackhazardous4008 Год назад +29

      75 man for one experienced kill? Now that's a trade deal!

    • @resileaf9501
      @resileaf9501 Год назад +55

      Chariots are quite OP in Rome 1. Literally can chain rout an entire army in seconds.

    • @ThePastaSawce
      @ThePastaSawce Год назад +17

      *me crying in Latin*

    • @antares4975
      @antares4975 Год назад +7

      @@ThePastaSawce mama mia?

    • @ThePastaSawce
      @ThePastaSawce Год назад +5

      @@antares4975 Mi Cannoli!

  • @whyjnot420
    @whyjnot420 Год назад +63

    Back when the original game first came out one day I decided to do a small reconnaissance in force with a group of 3 or 4 cavalry units (the lowest of the Roman ones, likely was Julii) and decided to autoresolve everything. It took something like 10 battles without any reinforcements before they were finally defeated. No named unit, no upgrades, only the experience gained from the battles themselves. Near the end something like 20 people were defeating armies of several hundreds.

    • @Anomaly188
      @Anomaly188 Год назад +5

      @@user-sj9mj3bf2m In the tabletop scene they call that "Tarpitting." It's a useful tactic to bog down the opposing HQ (Hero) unit and his guard contingent with cheap blobs of fodder while you deal with other units.

    • @nehcrum
      @nehcrum Год назад +1

      @@Anomaly188 As well as hammer-and-anvil tactics. Have a hard unit hold the enemy in place and then hit them in the back with something heavy.

  • @7rich79
    @7rich79 Год назад +90

    Who could have known that peasants and zerglings had so much in common?

  • @richardfarrer5616
    @richardfarrer5616 Год назад +109

    If it worked for Boudicca in Colchester, I see no reason it wouldn't work for Spiff in Rome.

    • @HideyoshiKinoshita84
      @HideyoshiKinoshita84 Год назад

      Massacre and genocide civilians only to get absolutely curbstomped when facing a prepared actual army?

    • @Noble6Espeo
      @Noble6Espeo Год назад +4

      I was about to make thi comment, you beat me too it and I tip my hat to ye

  • @tempusavatar
    @tempusavatar Год назад +2

    Thanks for the video. I met a Brit this week, and I asked about Yorkshire Tea; they reprimanded me and correctly opined that Yorkshire Gold is the Superior product.

  • @Tahulrik
    @Tahulrik Год назад +31

    In the original game i once had the brilliant German ai send a diplomat with the terms of something along the lines of 'recieve 23 denarii, accept or we will attack'
    A truly outstanding move !

    • @KeljuIvan
      @KeljuIvan Год назад

      It was probably some kind of money laundering operation.

    • @steemlenn8797
      @steemlenn8797 Год назад +11

      I prefer the cases were they declare war on you and one turn later pay you money for peace. Several times in a row.

  • @RaDeus87
    @RaDeus87 Год назад +133

    I guess they changed the population thing due to the population-moving feature: recruit dirt-cheap pop-heavy units in one town, and then disband them in a city you want to grow.
    It's really useful early on, when you can power-level your new cities with just a few units of peasants (like Segesta and/or Patavium if you play Julii) from your main settlements.
    Late game it's more useful to let a city rebel just so you can enslave them.
    It really keeps the squalor down 👍

    • @korub1
      @korub1 Год назад +34

      Idk why they changed this tbh. It’s not like it’s ahistorical for there to be mass migrations, and balance-wise it feels more like a strategy game micromanagement tool than an exploit

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 Год назад +24

      I love when games take away mechanics and options from me instead of adding more :)

    • @czarkusa2018
      @czarkusa2018 Год назад +18

      They CHANGED the POPULATION SYSTEM?
      Is there ANYTHING Creative Assembly won't intentionally destroy just to spite long time fans of older games?

    • @KassOtheKing
      @KassOtheKing Год назад +15

      It’s optional

    • @RaDeus87
      @RaDeus87 Год назад +2

      @@KassOtheKing I haven't played the remake, so this is good to know.
      I was kinda surprised that it wasn't a thing in TW-Warhammer.

  • @Hellscream_9999
    @Hellscream_9999 Год назад +19

    Spiff: "...the German AI is just truly fantastic..."
    Me: remembering that time the German AI bought a lump of coal from the Brit for 100 gold
    Me: yup, that checks out.

  • @Orncaex
    @Orncaex Год назад +9

    Omfg I lost it when i saw the peasants flooding out of the gates and the AI instantly started panicking XD This is perhaps the most realistic response I've ever seen from an AI

  • @LordWyatt
    @LordWyatt Год назад +49

    I saw an unfinished challenge where someone tried to overwhelm/route enemy armies with (Egyptian) peasants only and it was awesome.
    I’m glad you’re doing a very similar challenge😎👌

    • @totalwar1793
      @totalwar1793 Год назад +3

      Yeah, Legend of Total War lmao

    • @FuhqEwe
      @FuhqEwe Год назад +1

      You didn’t think he came up with his video ideas on his own did you?
      They’re just recreations of ideas and videos from years ago.

  • @smokinggnu6584
    @smokinggnu6584 Год назад +22

    I remember wayyy back in the day playing the original version of this game. Had a city that revolted and the rebel army that occupied it was a full stack of peasants. Except the peasants had full experience (9 tiers) and full weapons and armour (gold for both). I attacked it with my best army in range of roman heavy infantry, laid siege... and my legionnaires got absolutely slaughtered on the walls as they climbed up the siege towers by all these peasants.
    Total war games, man.

  • @GoErikTheRed
    @GoErikTheRed Год назад +59

    I think my favorite cheese campaign I did was as the Egyptians. No units, only generals. Egyptian chariots are a little OP in melee, but they also have the range and speed of horse archers, so you can kite indefinitely. I basically sent diplomats all over the world bribing generals then using said generals to take out entire enemy armies. With no army to maintain I was swimming in money

  • @barrybend7189
    @barrybend7189 Год назад +271

    A strategy game should allow peasant units to be upgraded to speciallized units for a cheaper price. It would be an interesting mechanic.

    • @mute1085
      @mute1085 Год назад +85

      Mount and Blade allows just that, although you also need them to get some experience first

    • @googiegress
      @googiegress Год назад +45

      Civ 4 does this. Presumably you'd have to pay the difference in cost and time between the two unit types in order to upgrade. Which means it isn't a way to get strong units cheaper, just a way to not let the value stored in early units go to waste.

    • @countinwermsuwu
      @countinwermsuwu Год назад +18

      Battle for Wesnoth has that, definitely worth checking out

    • @DrexSux
      @DrexSux Год назад +14

      @@mute1085I was about to say… Bannerlord much?

    • @ShinForgotPassxXx
      @ShinForgotPassxXx Год назад +6

      WoC have this mechanic in WH3. IT is pretty great.

  • @davidtitanium22
    @davidtitanium22 Год назад +44

    a timeless classic, i've sunk hundreds of hours into this game in middle school

  • @paulmaddison6193
    @paulmaddison6193 Год назад +12

    'First we deal with the French'. As any distinguished British chap naturally would. Good show old bean! 🧐

  • @heavyarms55
    @heavyarms55 Год назад +3

    "What if the zombie apocalypse happened during the Roman era and what if the zombies had leadership" - What this video really is.

  • @pocpic
    @pocpic Год назад +7

    "Cheekily enslaving" is the classic British modus operandi of occupation.

  • @pyrrhusofepirus8491
    @pyrrhusofepirus8491 Год назад +45

    One thing that I remember that is broken in Rome Total War, and I don’t know if they’ve changed it, is how experience works. With every experience point, they gain 1 attack point. That means a fully experienced unit has *9 more attack* then a inexperienced unit. It was amazing seeing what it’d do with Praetorians.

    • @MrDwarfpitcher
      @MrDwarfpitcher Год назад +14

      There are other bonuses.
      It increases defensive skill and morale.
      Ranged units are also slightly more accurate in direct fire

    • @sillypuppy5940
      @sillypuppy5940 4 месяца назад +1

      I loved the first couple of playthroughs - but then it dawned on me how crap the AI is.

    • @GiliGulu1969
      @GiliGulu1969 18 дней назад +1

      From what I remember you could have one full unit of max experience units, 3 gold stripes, and use them to bring a series of other units with lower or no experience back up to full strength, and give each unit a large experience boost. Then bring the crak troops back up to full strength.

  • @FlashMan16NG
    @FlashMan16NG Год назад +3

    "Salute the Union Jack Flag." He knows what he's doing, he knows that line will deliberately annoy a lot of pedantic people out there.
    Allow me to sit back with my cuppa and watch them get annoyed.

  • @willh2690
    @willh2690 Год назад +3

    As an unwashed barbarian who grew up on the streets of Croydon I feel both insulted and flattered by this video.

  • @n.henzler50
    @n.henzler50 Год назад +5

    "Give everyone a stick and throw them into the grinder" is somehow the most British thing you've ever done.

  • @allenhollstein8820
    @allenhollstein8820 11 месяцев назад +3

    So to summarize, as you said being attacked by a peasant is like having a soft breeze being blown in your general direction. So then it stands to reason that being attacked by ALLLLLL the peasants is like being struck by a hurricane. Well done my good man.

  • @notmenotme614
    @notmenotme614 Месяц назад +2

    “The single worst unit, it’s cheap, has no statistics, it has no power, no morale and it is terrible”
    Today I learnt that I am an English Peasant in real life 🙋‍♂️

  • @gso619
    @gso619 Год назад +3

    One peasant doesn't do diddly. 5000 peasants, though? That's a whole lot of diddly.

  • @dannys6871
    @dannys6871 2 месяца назад +2

    The Spiffing Brit: "Free Fousand men"
    also The Spiffing Brit: "FLaxmen instead of FAlxmen"

    • @notmenotme614
      @notmenotme614 Месяц назад

      Me: “I never knew flax was so dangerous?”

  • @ctg4818
    @ctg4818 Год назад +19

    Back when every single faction wasn't a $20-30 DLC. The good days.

    • @release_the_Diddy_list
      @release_the_Diddy_list Год назад +1

      I get drip feeding new content. It makes sense and when done correctly keep a game alive for years more than normal. Of course, smart companies don’t overcharge just because they can. That’s begging for some upstart to knock them out. Paradox will learn when they need to learn it.

    • @FuhqEwe
      @FuhqEwe Год назад +3

      Facts. It’s appalling that they would create the finished product, then deliberately remove content from it and try to sell it to you for more. It was _not_ add-on content that they made after the fact. That’d be like paying full price for a pizza only to discover 4 slices are missing. When you ask, they say you can have it for an additional charge.
      Hell, these scumbags even want to charge for the option to turn on blood. That used to be a regular option you could toggle. What will they try next? An additional fee if you want to play in a resolution above 720?

    • @e33d90
      @e33d90 10 месяцев назад

      @@release_the_Diddy_listgood games survived without drip feeding bullshit, bad games need to drip feed to keep the sheeple on their dopamine high

  • @Azazelium.
    @Azazelium. Год назад +2

    i love u spiffing brit

  • @wispyartist7953
    @wispyartist7953 Год назад +27

    “An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep.”
    ― Alexander the Great

    • @sjs9698
      @sjs9698 Год назад +3

      yes but also no: see the british army, for most of our empire's history it was 'lions led by donkeys'.

    • @Dong_Harvey
      @Dong_Harvey Год назад +3

      "I think my horse is gay." -- Alexander the Great

    • @bobbobberson1923
      @bobbobberson1923 Год назад

      I know where my bet is on this fight

    • @questionmaker5666
      @questionmaker5666 Год назад

      @@sjs9698 The Duke of Marlborough, Duke of Wellington, General James Wolfe, and others would disagree. Even then the donkeys were often brave.

  • @MrSkysenGames
    @MrSkysenGames Год назад +2

    Enemy: "We have highly trained warriors, archers, horsemen, and strong fortifications."
    Spiff: "I have peasants."
    Enemy: "...What are your demands?"

  • @matthill5426
    @matthill5426 Год назад +8

    Spiff should set his capital city in Somerset, England. Clearly, high quality British cheese is the fuel for his empire-building engine.
    Meanwhile, only Yorkshire Gold tea can grease the cogs of total Imperial hegemony!
    Tea & cheddar cheese, that's the key. And the occasional cucumber sandwiches. Cucumbers are the pistons in this engine of military and economic domination. :)

  • @jacobgebhart7550
    @jacobgebhart7550 Год назад +2

    As a Rome fanboy I have to say. You said Julius Caesar underestimated Britain but he was the first commander to navally invade Britain until the vikings almost 1,000 years later. If any side underestimated the other it was the Britions with Rome. When Caesar came with his nearly full army and navy the Britions didn't even attempt to to stop him. Instead they waited until he landed and fought him on land in pitched battles where he had a greater advantage. The first real military invasion of Britian saw Caesar successfully invading and setting up a client state until Claudius invaded, controlled, and centralized Britain 100 years later.

    • @jacobgebhart7550
      @jacobgebhart7550 6 месяцев назад

      @essaadeel3676 The Anglo-Saxons didn't invade Britain until after the Western Roman Empire collapsed and the Goths and Vandals were migrating in Europe in the mid-to-late 400's AD. The Roman's had already occupied and settled in Britian for 400 years at that point.

  • @abs_nobody
    @abs_nobody Год назад +12

    I see that spiff is applying ancient (and more recent) continental tactics of "throw more people than weapons at the enemy"

  • @jarrodbright5231
    @jarrodbright5231 2 месяца назад +1

    "Sir the peasants are revolting!"
    "It's worse than that... they're British!"

  • @-BTE-
    @-BTE- Год назад +10

    When my brother told about a man who preached tea and exploited games, I couldn't believe it as I didn't believe tea was that good. But the Spiffing Brit opened my
    eyes to the way of tea. No he did not threaten my family with tea for this I totally wrote this with my own free will. Praise the tea.

    • @scobra5941
      @scobra5941 10 месяцев назад

      Have you tied the scones, old boy?

  • @Soccer_lover986
    @Soccer_lover986 Год назад +2

    Holy crap, I thought this was an old video for a second. I’m glad you are back to total war!

  • @MooshroomBrosGaming
    @MooshroomBrosGaming Год назад +9

    10/10 historically accurate peasant uprising!!!

  • @efnick96
    @efnick96 Год назад +3

    As a Greek, I am glad that Persians followed a similar strategy to conquer Greece, but thankfully they didn't have the auto resolve button

  • @Doc_Tar
    @Doc_Tar Год назад +8

    Watching this game get the heck exploited out of it reminds me of how much enjoyed playing "Rome Total War" back in the day. Hail, Emperor Spiff.

  • @DudeMcGuybro
    @DudeMcGuybro Год назад +4

    It's true, I wasn't born, I was printed at a Spiffing Brit spawn point.

  • @azearaazymoto461
    @azearaazymoto461 Год назад +3

    24:21 "17000 people are about to learn what the definition of a warcrime is. Wabam." ~ The Spiffing Brit 2023
    This is the most beautiful quote I've ever seen.

  • @OpreRoma
    @OpreRoma Год назад +2

    As a resident of Croydon I'd say we are naturally proficient in the use of sharp melee objects

  • @Dragoon-zs8vm
    @Dragoon-zs8vm Год назад +13

    Its a good day when Spiff uploads.

  • @DonSaborFlavor
    @DonSaborFlavor Год назад +1

    I wasn’t sure about this video but I am Peasantly surprised. Another 10/10 video

  • @lewiscoe4941
    @lewiscoe4941 Год назад +3

    Ah the Bude tunnel, I didn't realise this iconic landmark in my hometown was so famous!

  • @Hyper_Fox06
    @Hyper_Fox06 Год назад +7

    When Spiff said "because the British like things challenging" i thought he was gonna make a crack about British food. 😂

    • @Hyper_Fox06
      @Hyper_Fox06 11 месяцев назад

      @@Mickyway I've seen stationed in England, they do have some nice food, I was just making a joke.
      While I don't understand beans on toast it's still pretty good

  • @Edzward
    @Edzward Год назад +24

    If it is Spiff asking me, I have my doubts in who would win, a Giant Death Robot, or a Peasant armed with a pitchfork... 😂

    • @nehcrum
      @nehcrum Год назад +1

      Easy. The giant death robot.
      But the question, who would win between a giant death robot and an unlimited number of peasants, armed or unarmed.
      It's all about numbers. The robot may have higher stats, but quantity is a quality in itself.

  • @jayyrod1
    @jayyrod1 Год назад +1

    "Spartans, what is your profession!?"
    "Chad Peasants!!"

  • @patnor7354
    @patnor7354 Год назад +3

    Hey, the "give us money or we will attack" worked quite well for the vikings against the brits ;)

    • @callum105
      @callum105 Год назад +2

      "gimme all your gold or i'll mug ya"

  • @waterflowzz5306
    @waterflowzz5306 Год назад +1

    I swear to god, as you said to take a sip of my tea, I was already holding a cup of it to my lips, then I saluted the British flag standing on its pole directly next to my desk. This felt targeted, i’m home

  • @marvomaniac318
    @marvomaniac318 Год назад +9

    I still fondly remember a playthrough as the Seleucids back in the day in the original in which I'd just buy off every city and enemy army. Conquered the entire map without ever fighting a single battle. :D

    • @dread8841
      @dread8841 Год назад +2

      You don't need to fight if you are rich

    • @KatyaAbc575
      @KatyaAbc575 Месяц назад

      @@dread8841 Just like in real life, lol.

  • @aledusty1493
    @aledusty1493 Год назад +1

    The British peasant gave Rome the Carthage treatment.

  • @AlliedX
    @AlliedX Год назад +40

    It feels as though he's still uploading 😥
    R.I.P. The Spiffing Brit
    1283 - 2023
    You will be missed

  • @yvaskhmir
    @yvaskhmir Год назад +2

    As a HoMM 5 player I can already say, even before watching the video - peasants are the best thing since taxation was invented.

  • @ppunion
    @ppunion Год назад +5

    To be fair. A pointy stick is pretty damn good. And if that stick gets a pointy metal part it just becomes so absolute badass.

  • @mfrfauzirahman
    @mfrfauzirahman Год назад +2

    "You no farm, you go war." - The faction leader to every single peasant, probably

  • @Mornech10
    @Mornech10 Год назад +3

    Boudica--- "With this huge army of peasants I'll beat the Roman's out of here!"
    General Suetonius--- "No..... you won't."

  • @leftyfourguns
    @leftyfourguns Год назад +1

    Peasants: can’t live with them, can live without them

  • @dairoleon2682
    @dairoleon2682 Год назад +5

    Rome: Heart of the Swarm is certainly one of the games of all time.

  • @robertmiles1603
    @robertmiles1603 10 месяцев назад +1

    the peasant was indeed the strongest part of a medieval army. because of the levy system he formed the bulk of the infantry. in fact thanks to his industry and importance one could argue that without him civilization itself never could have existed

  • @Balsiefen
    @Balsiefen Год назад +4

    10:40 Damn, Spiff doesn't fall for Danegeld-strats. Britain could've used him in the 700s AD

  • @monkeywithplutonium
    @monkeywithplutonium Год назад +1

    My soul is throbbing in anticipation for you to show us how perfectly balanced starfield is.

  • @neilbrideau8520
    @neilbrideau8520 Год назад +3

    Having played way too much Rome TW I finally understand what happened when I lost autoresolve battles against my high level Roman units. That is like a 20 year old mystery resolved.

  • @oscarxkee7921
    @oscarxkee7921 Год назад +2

    He's gone from saluting the portrait of the Queen to saluting the Union Jack 👀

  • @theenglishknight1520
    @theenglishknight1520 Год назад +4

    Most total war players: No some untrained civillians with pointy sticks shouldn't be able to conquer rome!
    Spiffing brit: Watch me

    • @nehcrum
      @nehcrum Год назад +1

      Most total war players: Those unarmored, unshielded peasants will be slaughtered by missiles.
      Spiffing brit: Autoresolve doesn't care.

  • @svovy5358
    @svovy5358 Год назад +2

    You're just role-playing as the Russian Army,
    sending wave after wave of your own men until the enemy runs out of ammunition

  • @ianking7511
    @ianking7511 Год назад +3

    I remember playing this back in the day, and noticing that the germanic peasant unit is actually a phalanx.
    Phalanxes in RTW are more or less completely unkillable from the front, so there was much fun to be had playing a german campaign and just making big spiky peasant squares for enemy armies to break themselves on.

    • @archiebellega956
      @archiebellega956 Год назад

      Pretty sure it's greek, and it's their equivalent of town watch (2nd weakest unit after peasant). Yeah that thing is defensive powerhouses. In some run you can defend syracuse early on even though beginner guide rightfully told you to give up syracuse and rebuild from mainland greece.

    • @ianking7511
      @ianking7511 Год назад +2

      @@archiebellega956 After a little searching I've come to the conclusion that the german spears were removed from the game at some point, probably because they were entirely, hilariously broken vs ai. There are a few ancient references on various forums, circa 2004. Alternatively, I may be misremembering Attila.

    • @be12
      @be12 Год назад +2

      @@ianking7511 The German warband (what you get from the base tier muster field - ie what would be town watch for the Romans) is a phalanx unit, and as dangerous if not more than the Greek Hoplite.

  • @Jadriam
    @Jadriam Год назад +2

    "Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

  • @jackhazardous4008
    @jackhazardous4008 Год назад +3

    Luv me pub, luv me 'ooligans, 'ate the romans, simple as.

  • @TheBlasphemite
    @TheBlasphemite 6 месяцев назад +1

    war in a nutshell: gather as much people as possible and say the right things so they charge headfirst into the enemy.

  • @mtndewfan66
    @mtndewfan66 Год назад +6

    3:54 so you need a blacksmith to make weapons and a weaponsmith to make armor? It just makes sense

    • @irrelevant_noob
      @irrelevant_noob Год назад +1

      Eh, from the description, they both increase both weapon and armour, but WS being the 2nd it therefore makes "better armour". 🤓

  • @snakelady647
    @snakelady647 Год назад

    So excited that you're returning to Total War: Rome! I can't get into Civ 6 to save my life, but holy moly, I love me some Rome.

  • @elijahoconnell
    @elijahoconnell Год назад +3

    my khergit strategy in warband is essentially zerg (zhergit lol) peasant forces primarily being khergits and specialized garrisons worth of a full partys worth of x type of unit scattered around the map. this would allow me to grab a chunk of trained soldiers to replinish any forces with or to save on travel speed but still grow larger and have a large defense in my cities

  • @janhuber3708
    @janhuber3708 Год назад

    YES. Glorious. The overlord graced us with another Total War Video.

  • @OneJazzyBoye
    @OneJazzyBoye Год назад +5

    Bro is playing as the Skaven in RTW.

  • @Jkesler85
    @Jkesler85 Год назад

    Got my coffee, saluted the American flag held up by my own bald eagle that is perched on my desk, said the Pledge of Allegiance 3 times this morning, and I am ready to watch the new Spiff vid! Hell yeah, brother!

  • @peregrinemiles7936
    @peregrinemiles7936 Год назад +44

    Wait, I thought that disbanding units gave you a population bump. Can you create population out of thin air???

    • @MartynWilkinson45
      @MartynWilkinson45 Год назад +20

      The remaster doesn't do that by default. There is an option to toggle that on, though. It kind of gimps the ai, poor thing can really figure out population management.

    • @resileaf9501
      @resileaf9501 Год назад +19

      @@MartynWilkinson45 The thing is that the population mechanic was balanced around units being of medium size, with large and ultra (and extreme in the remastered) being capable of emptying cities way too quickly, leaving you with no ability to train units anymore. Using the balanced option, population will be reduced by the same amount that they would be in medium size, ensuring that you don't make all your cities ghost towns that never grow.

    • @googiegress
      @googiegress Год назад +5

      @@resileaf9501 It feels like that should be an option that the player must manage; it's the classic balancing act between investing in economy vs. military. If you make the decision to ghost-town a city, it's probably a mistake, but the player might need to do that. The farmer cannot eat the seed he plans to sow.

    • @resileaf9501
      @resileaf9501 Год назад +4

      @@googiegress That *is* an option. You can make the population taken from your cities equal to the number of soldiers they took if you want.

    • @Dorsidwarf
      @Dorsidwarf Год назад +1

      @@googiegress this is fair, but it was kinda ridiculous how in tw Rome 1 your graphics option (how many men to display as being in a unit) affected the game balance so drastically

  • @Yodelingviking
    @Yodelingviking Год назад +1

    Salute the Union Jack hanging above my desk? So even Spiff doesn't want to salute the King.

  • @obliviangamer2319
    @obliviangamer2319 Год назад +4

    Rome Total War: Return of the Sea People

  • @GenkiGanbare
    @GenkiGanbare Год назад

    Rome: "You can't defeat me"
    SB: "I know...but he can"
    [AUTO-RESOLVE]

  • @kaltaron1284
    @kaltaron1284 Год назад +3

    I love how even Spiff won't ask us to salute King Charles. I mean I would for the second maybe even the first but the third... not so much.
    Nice to see that they kept the ridiculous auto-resolve strenth of peasants. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

  • @casualbrowsingyeah
    @casualbrowsingyeah Год назад

    I remember watching the AngryJoe review for this when it was brand new, and now here I am with TheSpiffingBrit. Time flies, God bless.

  • @EyesofOd
    @EyesofOd Год назад +3

    So wait, they changed the population mechanic for the remaster? I was thinking of picking this up, but one of my favourite things was to recruit peasants from overpopulated places and ship them to underpopulated ones I wanted to turn into megacities, and disband them to add to the population. Is that not possible anymore?

  • @mattfick5502
    @mattfick5502 Год назад +1

    YES. More Total War!!

  • @MonsterCC
    @MonsterCC Год назад +4

    HECK YES! More Spiff and Rome, making a cup of gold for this one!

  • @janhermanvanman9581
    @janhermanvanman9581 Год назад +1

    The flashback. This game is a masterpiece. Once, I managed to get my peasant rack up 1800 kills in a single battle, probably a glitch, but the experience gained on this lot was massive. From basic peasant to chad peasant.