I must say, this was very different from what you've said before, you focused on what happened in the religion, not so much on you. I must say, I am pleased that you have come so far, and you deserve everything that your life has to offer, everyone has their bad side, but not everyone has it in them to fight for themselves. Thank you. ❤❤❤
I think your story is important because it’s not some big scandal. It’s just the normal everyday crimes that are committed against people who are raised in (or join) a faith and are convinced they are doing the right thing. People need to hear hurts that aren’t sensationalized sometimes to recognize their own hurts for what they are.
You know that's a fair point. I think living it weighed down the importance in my mind. Thank you for reminding me of the value I can bring to the fight!
The minute I stopped going, I stopped getting sick. It was SO marked a change that it was noticed by others. Dont you love the way they tell you that if you are sick, you shouldnt come to meetings & expose others? While, at the same time, saying you should NEVER miss a meeting? More cognitive dissonance.
Part of me thought that the mask coming off was going to be a face reveal and a potential challenge thrown at the Watchtower at the end, but no face reveal came... Still, it was another amazing video. Thank you again, Lord Magog!
@@DarthMagog Keep it up brother! Can't wait to see you as a fully deprogrammed, "all bridges burnt" XJW! Your platform will definitely help struggling "young ones" to use their critical thinking skills, as well as help them see the truth within "The Truth"
@@DarthMagog Don't feel obligated to do a face reveal. It should be something you choose to do, nobody else has the right to decide. Like everyone else says, do it when you're comfortable. It's not selfish to wait until you feel right about doing a face reveal, if you want to do one anyway.
"All it takes is following the religion the best you can until you have nothing left to give. Then you'll be punished and ridiculed just enough to see exactly what the religion is." This statement sums up my whole 17 years as an MS in the English and Foriegn language congregations. Endless hours of preperation, talks, assignments, preaching, busy work... and it was never enough and never good enough... Instead I was attacked for being spiritually weak and not focused... That's when I said: "Enough is enough. I'm taking a break from this." I stopped cold turkey and it has been like a weight lifted off my sholders. A boot off my neck.
Spiritually weak, always thought that term was nonsense. God forbid you're a little too tired to do a workday's worth of door knocking on a Saturday after a long week. Glad we made it to the same spot my friend
Indeed! Darth's statement summarizes my thirty-six years of involvement with the Society, from the late '70's through the 2016 regional assembly. Granted, I was never appointed as a servant myself. But, my dad was and, consequently, through him, I had the opportunity to see some of the inner workings. I had grown up reading the organizational instructions from the Society from prior to 1972. (I grew up on the "Organization" book from 1972 and the "Organized Ministry" book from 1983 and revised in 1989.) Clearly, there were policies with which Dad disagreed on a personal level. For instance, he was a public-school teacher and was the staunchest advocate for education I had the honor of knowing while I was growing up, even encouraging college students with whom he interacted on their secular jobs to learn all they could and complete their degrees. Of course, that was in direct variance with the Society's position on education, particularly higher education. I'm still trying to work on pursuing my own education. Nevertheless, the older I get, the more I appreciate Dad's example. While I myself was never appointed as a servant, I still endeavoured to do what I could to practice what we had been taught by the Society. I reached out to help as opportunities presented themselves. I always went to the Friday work days in conjunction with the circuit assemblies. I worked in the Food Service department until the Society discontinued that at its assemblies. I couldn't make it to all the quick-builds, but I went whenever I could. I even helped adjacent congregations in the field service. Indeed, my long days in the service were often with adjacent congregations. From time to time, I would simply conduct the rendezvous for field service as the adjacent congregation didn't have a brother available at the moment and I had already made arrangements to work in my congregation. Eventually, I even transferred to an adjacent congregation both to help them and, at the same time, to bolster my own standing with regard to the Society. Through the years, I had taken seriously the congregational study articles on singleness. After my dad died in January 1994, it fell to me to "take the lead" in my family, despite being in my early teens at the time. (My brother's health necessarily precluded him from doing so.) So it was that at fourteen I found myself in the strange position of conducting meetings, be it the family study or the rendezvous for field service-and only because I was an immersed brother. Even at the time it never made sense to me. After all, here were sisters (including Mom) who had been immersed longer and who seemed to me to be qualified to take on certain assignments. Even so, I had to do it because of some (I now understand misogynistic) policy from the Society. In time, Mom's health fell into decline and I wound up taking on more of the responsibilities around the house. As with Darth, my own health began suffering from the load. Of course, we didn't realize that at the time. Circa 2011, it began to be suggested that I might be depressed. But, with essentially nothing more to go on, I had to basically compartmentalize that. In short, I had been trying to do too much and I was completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, albeit effectively unawares. November 2013, we moved cross-country. I was worried that Mom couldn't handle the Ohio winters anymore. So, we went where it was supposed to be warmer. The circumstances of the move were, shall we say, less than ideal. And, again, my own health was not the best. Indeed, I had only been able to resume something resembling my normal schedule just before the Society's annual meeting in October. (That was the big letdown of a program where the 2013 edition of the "New World Translation" had been issued.) We had arranged to stay with my younger sister for a time until we could move into our apartment. But, upon our arrival, she claims that she had completely forgotten that we would be there when we said we would. No one was at her house. We needed to get some help along the lines of "sustenance and covering" as the move itself had cost us a veritable king's ransom. So, of course, we contacted our new congregation. Thus began what amounted to discussions between three congregations: My mom and brother's last congregation, my last congregation and our new congregation. What I learned during the course of that multi-party discussion shook me to my core. Aware of their health situation, the last congregation of my mom and brother sent good letters of recommendation. Aware of my health situation, despite none of us really knowing the underlying causes, my last congregation sent a negative letter of recommendation. In effect, the attitude of my last congregation was: "What have you done for us lately?" Consequently, the decision of our new congregation was to not render aid. In time, and in a roundabout way, we were able to sustain ourselves until our apartment was ready. But, the damage wrought by the Society had been done. Mom died June 2015. My brother moved in with our younger sister. And I ended up homeless. During the ensuing thirteen months, I attempted to fully re-establish myself within the Society. And it was during this period that I saw the true irony of what had happened during our move. The congregation had now rallied around me, giving me rides to and from the meetings and the circuit assemblies, taking me to meals and giving me clothes for the meetings to recoup what I had to lose by becoming homeless and having to stay in a shelter. It was truly bizarre. I couldn't help but think: "Only a year-and-a-half ago, you didn't want anything to do with my family and you tried to blame me for that. Now, all of a sudden, since I'm on my own, you want to be nice?" I had to realize that there was only one reason for this sudden change on their part, to wit, they figured that since I now had more time due to no longer being encumbered with familial responsibilities that I would be able to give myself thoroughly to the Society and they wanted to do everything in their power to make that happen. That didn't sit well with me because I knew that, if I were to do so, I would have to want that for myself, that I was absolutely convinced that this was the Truth and not because the congregation was extending conditional liberality toward me. July 2016, I was next confronted with the regional assembly. Where I was staying at the time was within reasonable walking distance of the coliseum. In fact, it was closer than even the Kingdom Hall to which I was assigned. So, I walked to the assembly. Due to the above-mentioned circumstances, I had missed both the 2014 international assembly and the 2015 regional assembly. As a result, I was unaware of the changes to the format the Society had made. I was not prepared to see a film during each discourse or for the dramas to have been filmed. But, those things were merely asthetic. What really caught my attention was the general tone of the program. It was as though I were paying attention for the first time in decades, and I couldn't abide what I was hearing. I increasingly had the sense that I was there simply to say goodbye. (Bear in mind that even during the sessions I couldn't figure out why.) Monday afternoon, the day after the program ended, I was taking a walk along the riverfront. As I stopped to sit down for a moment, I was reflecting on the assembly and resolved to never again darken the doorway of a meeting or assembly. Seven-and-a-half years later, I have kept that resolve. In that time, I have learned the underlying causes of my health issues: Major depression, severe anxiety, PTSD, etc. And, thanks to the help of professionals in the mental-health field, these conditions have improved considerably. I won't by any means say that they've ended; however, I am able to function. That, combined with having left the Society, has resulted in a sense of being more comfortable with myself and a renewed desire to explore my horizons, and that without being made to feel as though I haven't fulfilled certain obligations to some cult. That's really all. There's nothing particularly exciting. As with Darth, it was really a matter of going through the everyday, trying to do what needed to be done and, when even that was too much for my health, being confronted with false allegations, in my case, of doing little or nothing for the Society.
@@thomash.schwed3662 gatos mios, the dissonance with the changes, I know! Seeing some of this stuff after leaving in 2011 was so wild. We had just barely started saying "COBE" Instead of "PO" and JW broadcasting is so insane. It's almost a different religion entirely. I'm glad you've found so much healing now though, that's an amazing story to read! Showing how hypocritical Watchtower is in their "unconditional Christian fellowship." Indeed
Your story about your disfellowshipped friend really got to me, because even though it was under very different circumstances, I made the same mistake. Once upon a time in, this galexy, there were a group of 3 friends. Chelsea, Matt, and Bo. They were very close, bonded because they'd all been born with the same chronic illness and had shared and similar experiences that no one would ever understand. One day, Bo moved to another city and a year later, Matt left too. They were both sicker than their friend and the hospital there was better equipped to help them if they got into trouble. Sadly though, it wasnt enough, and Matt passed away about a year after leaving. Bo and I were heartbroken, but in my grief and anger I came to envy Bo fir getting to go to the same school and spending so much more time with Matt in his final months. He had to be jist as shattered by our friend's death as I was, and what did I do? Did I draw closer and allow us to comfort and hold each other up? No. I turned my back on him, declined phone calls, party invitations, and hanging out together because even though he might've been the only person who could have understood what I was going through, I was too angry and filled with envy and pain to see that. Many years later, I tried to track him down to apologize and reconnect. To my horror, I learned that he had passed away several months before I'd tried to reach out. One of my oldest friends left this world probably thinking I hated him, and that will always haunt me. People, especially children and teens, when backed against a wall or in a situation they lack the tools to deal with, do some really dumb, regrettable stuff.
Oh and that's so much to go through for all of you guys. It's hard to sort through these things that only some people understand. Even with all the support in the world. I like to think your friend might have just understood it was you trying to process the pain. Not as bad as we think
To finally hear your story is amazing. Just cause its not over the top doesnt mean its not important. Each stroy can help others in different ways. Thank you for finally telling your story. Keep watching the watchtower.
Your story is so touching 😢. I ran back into that burning building, dragging my 2 kids who had just moved into a new area in their early teens, a very vulnerable time. They were just starting making new friends & I made them outcast pariahs😢. I THREW myself into everything, but we were always outsiders. I feel so guiltily over 20 yrs on.
Hey Sunny, I feel ya though. Honestly I don't blame you. I remember my parents would freak out on me at the Kingdom Hall for not paying attention and other things because they literally thought that the world was going to end in 15 minutes. You did the best you could as a parent. The difference between you and my parents, is that you have acknowledged your mistake and you're doing things to make it better. So, for what it's worth, I wish my folks were like you. 💙
Thank you for sharing your story. It doesn't have to be shocking to be interesting-and hopefully helpful and relatable to some. And frankly, the way you had to act as "mini-mom," the tension in your home, and the forced separation from your closest friends? With religious pressure making everything ten times as serious? That stuff is hard enough. Stories like this help us understand each other-and, by extension, ourselves. Even if we don't relate personally to everything. And even if there are no especially "exciting" moments. This is one of the beauties of RUclips.
Lol yeah, I was talking to Fives about this yesterday at Hannukah. They told me I probably think it's boring because it was normalized and stretched over 20 odd years. I'm glad to have your support!
27:28 my heart broke, as i think about the same guilt of watching important people suffer as the Cult made me preserve my own life instead of help those who might have needed it. Tears for all of you who needed love and friendship and lost so much, so young.
As someone who doesn't have any history with the religion, but was still raised Religious, I've learned a lot from your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your story, so Glad that you're better than you were back then and I hope you just keep going up and up! Better and better! Also with that Angle I went 😳for a second
* * Raises lightsaber in respectful salute to your bravery in telling your story* * Well told, Lord Magog. As for myself, many years ago, I came within a hairsbreadth of becoming a JW; an offer of what appeared to me as real friendship (absolute psychosocial gold, nay platinum for the 'weird kid' I was [due to ADHD] ) was what drew me in, and the promise of immortality combined with the 'Armageddon could happen any second now' line kept me interested...briefly. What got me out was surprisingly small: when I found that our family dog could not come into 'the new system' with us, I was appalled at it, because to me, paradise would not be paradise without everything I loved, including my dog. This also sowed the seeds of doubt for Christianity as a whole, which would sprout years later when I was in my early twenties (another tale for another time). That was forty years ago, and those seeds are still blooming nicely. What you, Lord Magog, have done for me has been to help me fully realize the calibre of the bullet I dodged (thanks to my dog) all those years ago.
Your dog is a hero. True, unconditional love is what defeated the Watchtower here. And that's absolutely made my day. Glad you're here on the outside of the tower with me 😀
Thank you for sharing your story 🙂 I met witnesses at the age of 16 and I studied for two years, luckily I did not become a JW, because I realized that it is not "the truth". I was a good target for them because I was lost, perceived as strange and depressed.
Awesome! Going to catch up now. See you on the other side! Edit: Wow, Darth. Just finished hearing your story. Lots of hugs and love your way. 💙 Thank you for sharing your story. I don't feel the disfellowshipped friend you had no choice but to ignore would harbor resentment against your personally. I hope he one day sees this channel and understands what really happened. This cult really does make you act in ways you normally would not. As a side note, I also collect Yugioh cards and have an interest in martial arts. Its cool we have that in common.
@@DarthMagog You're most welcome. I'm glad to be of support. That means alot to me that I've helped you through your journey. And I will continue to do so 💙
My experience with JW’s is fairly mundane. It started around 2019. Things were “normal” but I noticed something’s off. One of the meetings had shown a Caleb & Sophia video (The Sparlock toy one). I immediately thought that Caleb’s mother wouldn’t have the energy to continuously ride bikes with her own son… if they were real people. Another meeting had just read a rather graphic Old Testament verse involving impaling with a spear a couple having sex… while children were in attendance. Those were my two cracks. As the Bible studies went on, I noticed how much of my input and answers mattered very little . Instead, they cared more about me responding in their perfectly scripted responses. Long story short, the studies were put on hold when I wasn’t showing much progress. I had learned and memorized their entire doctrine but I didn’t show much interest in actually going through with the baptism. I can easily see what they were attempting to do. I don’t have much of a sense of self, but when they tried to overwrite my personality with that of a worshipping drone, I knew the religion wasn’t for me.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall with a study like that. Actual intellectual discussion instead of just obediently reading the highlighted answers. Betcha their heads were spinning.
I'm glad you didn't go any further with the studies. The fact that the Watchtower care very little about what we actually think about the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses also helped me to decide AGAINST joining the religious group. I knew straightaway that Jehovah's Witnesses just wasn't for me.
Hey brother, It may not have been the most thrilling story, but it's yours, and you're important in and of yourself. The honesty and ruthless self reflection are admirable. I went through something like that thirty years before you did, but I never thought to put the effort in to help others out of that zany cult the way you have. If I have a point to all this, it's that you should be proud, not just of what you've done, but why you've done it. You should also know how much others appreciate it and you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us viewers it was interesting to hear. Darth Magog keep exposing the watchtower for being the cult it truly is. You are helping the EXJW community and you are helping people wake up from the mind control of the watchtower.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame points an accusatory finger against those who use religion and power to oppress the little ones. Frollo was surely an unwanted mirror for the Elders or the clique running JW inc. Each voice has to be heard and each story is to be told. Yours might not be scandalous or filled to the brim with explosions but it is still important. Even a single candle can lit up a whole dark room. I hope you will find peace in your journey. I am not an ex-JW but I was raised (and still practicing) catholic. Your channel resonates with the three core tenets of religious practice inherited by my parents. -The importance of questioning/discussing dogmas. -Faith is a journey of personal encounter with God (or the divine) -If something isnt centered around kindness, mercy and charity, run. Once again I have spoken too much but each of your videos are highly thought provoking 😄.
Awww thanks Laurence! I'm glad that I'm able to find people across faiths (and a lack of faith) and build a community around that. Critical thinking saves lives.
Thankyou for sharing your story. You have no reason to apologise for it not being more dramatic; people want to support you and your authentic truth. If we want to hear lurid, fantasical stories of dramatic tension and big events, there's other channels for that. As to what others have said about potential face reveals, don't worry about it at all. Having that level of anonymity probably makes it easier to help your PIMI friends, and isn't that more important than satisfying the curiosity of an equally faceless youtube comments section?
Bro I have been waitin for this lore drop But seriously tho, thank you for sharing your story Darth Magog. It takes guts to do somethin like that, genuinely you are an inspiration. My story, like yours isn’t very harrowing. I wasn’t JW, but I was Christian in a very isolated town in the south. To say the teachings were very… racist, homophobic and misogynistic would be an understatement. I was always shunned for being different and felt myself feeling very alone, so I did what any other kid would do and hate everyone who was different as much as everyone hated me. Wasn’t until high school I met other people who were different and got to make genuine connections and realize that just because someone is different, doesn’t mean they arnt a person. I got a chance to cut out those horrible teachings and learn about who I was. This was unfortunately after I lost my closest friend due to my teachings. He was my best friend and he trusted me. He came out to me as gay and I just cut off all ties. I regret that so much. It hurts to look back and know that he trusted me and I betrayed him like that. Funny enough all that hatred I had for others who were lgbtq was because I am also apart of the community and was just taking out my own self hatred onto others, so I guess the egg is on my face, now others are the ones turning their backs on me lol. I loved your story, origins don’t have to be horrifying and scandalous, they can be simply just seeing the cracks over time before eventually leaving. Thank you Magog. Your story was comforting and therapeutic for me. Knowing I am not alone in making grave mistakes based off of religion.
100% with you. Also, don't be too hard on yourself. The people around you kept you ensconced in that environment, in my book that's child abuse too. I do hope one day you can reconnect with your friend. But either way, we continue gaining strength despite our origins. The Force is with us!
A beautifully told tale of a tough and unfair experience. I remember the few times I stepped into a Kingdom Hall out of curiosity and felt that warmth and love that I today recognize as conditional and all demanding. I hope that life will just keep getting better for you and everyone else that gets out of the hall.
@@DarthMagog I was never JW, but I can relate to an extent to having to deconstruct/unlearn conservative religious indoctrination. It ain't easy, and I can only imagine how difficult it was for you. I wish you the best. 💖
@@DarthMagogWhich church are preaching the gospel of the kingdom around the world to all nations as Jesus Christ said? Matthew 10:16, 24:14, 28:19-20, Mark 13:10, if not only only only the Jehovah's witnesses..
Having finished up, my main thought is this: We, survivors of religious (or any) trauma, tend to do a reverse “pain olympics” from “normal people”… which is to say that we minimize our trauma and say “so many others had it worse, at least I blah blah blah”. We all do it - when you have so much trauma that you don’t need to invent drama to make you special, all you want to do is minimize the trauma and hold up the things you are proud of. You’re story is valid. Your trauma is valid. Telling your story may well be the thing that opens the door for someone else, some young person facing all of the same pressures you were but who hasn’t broken their shelf quite yet, to go “hey, I matter. My hopes and dreams matter. *My time matters.* And I don’t deserve to be abused this way.” Listening to you may be the thing that helps them make a better choice… and if it doesn’t? So what? Telling your story, taking that off of your chest, may help you process pieces of it that you had no idea you were even holding on to! It helps clarify things to say them out loud. I am proud of and grateful for you for sharing your origin story with us. It gives me a better understanding of why it is so important to you that you have a child care specialist present and participating when you discuss the trauma of Caleb and Sophia instead of lending only your JW expertise - which would be enough - to the story. I see why you take such care in your discussions and explanations of what is going on in those indoctrinating videos, and I appreciate the care you take a bit more. I’m so glad we have you in the cult survivor community!
I am not a Jehova's Witness, nor do I know any, but this channel (as well as a few others) have helped in giving me a greater understanding of what JWs are struggling with and go through. I remember I used to have someone knock on our door, though they were only there for a few weeks (I think they were visiting our town or something, they didn't live there), and the ensuing conversation I had with my parents about it was the equivalent of a non-commital shrug. Like, no one really knows what's going on. As a kid, I always thought JWs were weird, and that was the end of my train of thought. But, thanks to your channel, Owen Telltale's, and a few others, I've come to realize as an adult that it's not the weirdness that I should be focusing on, but the people instead. They're people doing what they think is right, and that alone makes them worthy of respect and time. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope this channel can continue to reach out towards and help other JWs and ex-JWs alike. You all deserve so much more than the religion is giving you, and I sincerely hope everyone can continue to heal and move forward into the future. And hell yeah to the Star Wars aesthetic, it was a brilliant choice for a channel like this and it just makes me happy. Keep doing what you're doing, man!
You got it Dimonds, thank you for your support. It means so much that people that are completely, or at least mostly, disconnected from Jehovah's Witnesses are able to see the message and keep away from the tower. In the long run I think that'll be the most important thing for those of us fighting it's harmful cult practices.
After hearing your story, it baffles me further that my father went back to the org 30 years after he left it behind and ever since then he has tried to convert me, my brother, and my mom but has failed.
It takes a lot of strength to share things like that. I'm not ExJW but I did escape Narcissistic Abuse and everything I know - reminds me of that. You're still a victim of abuse, albeit emotionally and psychologically, at the hands of what amounted to as a cult and I'm some guy on the internet in the faceless masses but - I'm still proud you had the strength to sahare. I still watch. Keep fighting the good fight Lord Magog.
Interesting listening. This was really good. Thank you! I recognized heeps of things you mentioned. The control is what finally made me leave. The phone calls constantly reminding me to report hours of «preaching», phone calls from people who saw me pick up a 76 year old friend (to drive to a restaurant )of the opposite sex without having anyone else in the car (which is forbidden), and when I was really sick for several weeks the constant phone calls asking why I wasn’t at the meetings. Etc, etc, etc.
Omg they got mad at you for picking up a senior citizen for Sunday Service? Even i got away with driving Sister Jay to Kingdom Hall, since she was old enough to be my (grand)mother. Smh
seeing you and hearing these stories gives me the confidence to speak out on my experiences of my family being JW and Catholic (they had switched a few times) maybe some day im the future, I'll probably end up following in your footsteps, mask on, voice changed, I'd hate for my real self to be known due yo personal reasons but maybe some day that would be enough. and i just wanted to thank you dor that, even if its silly
I’d love to read a book you write or however you tell your story. I was born-in to very strict Catholicism in the most dysfunctional alcoholic rage family ever. Then to JWs when I grew up because I was tired of hell talk. Then JW destruction talk ALL the time! From the fire into the Instant Destruction! I was finally ds’fd for disagreeing on a couple of doctrines and they tortured me with shunning and loss of family. So Catholicism and WT now I’m free from it all but have bad PTSD. Nightmares and all that. I’m fine.
Love seeing people connect in the comments. Stay in touch if you decide to speak out yourself, I can help you out with some of the technicals. We Apostate Lords should stick together, use that "Christian Unity" against the Watchtower eh?
@@christinesotelo7655 i was born in a very very strict JW house wtih yeah yk raging alcoholics they made the switch sometime before one of my siblings was born and then i went through all Catholic"rites of passage" pretty quickly, it really only got worse from there
@@DarthMagog the most that scares me tbh is like people finding out who I am - family or otherwise, since ik they'd have a lot they could say on me yo hurt me or other ppl i care about. so seeing this faceless display really brought some comfort and ideas to me that it IS possible. I'd say the hardest part is being able to finally get a proper education, i was homeschooled and definitely not taught anything properly to keep me from reaching out. But I'll get there one day
There is a reason your story resonates with so many people. i am jw nor ever considered being one, I'm a pimo catholic. I still go mass, my daughter is an altar server and we are technically both still good standing Catholics are far as anyone can tell. I am in recovery and currently live with fervent Baptists. I lost all faith in religion a few years ago but don't really have the ability to fully leave because of economic reasons. I watch channels like yours to stay sane and realize that there are other people who think and feel as i do. My daughter has already said she's questioning the whole thing and I can't blame her. It's very difficult to tell the ones you knew in the religion that you don't believe as you did before. It's really difficult to explain to a die hard believer that you don't believe as they do. The cracks in logic lead to questions about everything in your life and makes you regret wasting the years in the faith. I stay in the church because i don't have a choice right now. Some of the cracks you described are similar ones that i have thought about many times. The shunning, the treatment of lgbtq community and the guilt tripping are awful. The breaking point for me was during covid when i was told the virus was a divine punishment for whatever. No one comforted me when death was everywhere, only god is mad. No one deserves to die as they did or suffer like they did. My solence in this time is channels like yours, art, music and going to shows my roommates don't know about. It shows me I'm not alone. Thank you for what you do.
I'm sorry you're experiencing something like this, I'm a catholic but I think the people don't seem to understand that a virus isn't divine punishment. Sometimes it happens in an unfortunate circumstance. Hope you and your daughter Don't lose faith and get better with the economy, I know right now its shit lol.
@@Toxic-cd4yh thank you. I don't think people realize how evil that divine punishment phrase is. I have found a different faith than what I first believed. Beauty and art keep me going, if just to remind me that it's not all poo. I couldn't say any of this to the people around me. Thank you.
@@christinesotelo7655 some would call it strange that an ex jw dressed as Darth Vader could help a lot of people who aren't or ever were jws. The similarities between both faiths are startling. I glad it helped you.
Awesome! You have the great gift of story-telling (I can't believe I just saw the entire video staring at your mask). I am an ex-JW going through a mid-life crisis, and even though I faded away more than 12 years ago, I still blame the tower and my well-meaning parents for the lack of social skills that still affect my personal life. We all share basically the same story, and the fact that this keeps on happening to many young victims is appalling. Thanks for your courage, and keep up the fight!
To turn some of Watchtower's language against them, it's encouraging to hear that my experience is shared too. Well, I'm not happy that they coerced you too, but it helps me feel less crazy talking about this stuff. Thanks again for watching!
As im currently writing im 16 pimo and have not have any true friends for the past 4 years ive been isolated and just in really bad headspace overall your story is very similar to mine im just thankful that i woke up before i reached adulthood thank you lord Magog i anticipate your return !
Thank you my friend. Please stay safe, don't forget your web safety. My videos aren't exactly Elder approved, even with the silly Star Wars venier. You're already doing better than I was at that age, I forsee a happy, Watchtower-Free Future for you 😁
I was never baptized and I stopped going to meetings altogether and I have my father to thank for that as we had a healthy relationship and he protected me from the more harmful teachings of the JW’s and in a sense when he left the cult, I left it too. It was remarkably easy as I never really consistently paid attention during meetings, I only did minor talks just for some experience talking in front of a crowd not for any “spiritual” reason and didn’t do it for long. Eventually when the pandemic hit I fully left and never got baptized. Never felt better being free.
Loved your video, Darth Magog!! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I was a devout Catholic- age 16 when I met and fell for a JW ❤ He and we had very difficult discussions when religion was the deterant of our relationship. We liked eachother but he stood his ground that he couldn’t continue seeing eachother because I was worldly! So, I decided to take a Bible study. I remember it was in our last high school semester when I started studying with a sister. At the time it was the blue book: the truth l. Honestly it impressed me with every teaching backed up with a bible text. We married 4 years later, since my Catholic parents were furious and made me sometime difficult to attend meetings. I promised my dad that I will get an associate degree since he always said not to depend on a man! Our first years of marriage were 50-50! He had his mental Issues and bad temper. So far we’ve been married for 35 years now and 2 children and 4 grandchildren. My oldest woke up at the same time as me. My problem was the dates 1914 and I had heard from my husband what happened in 1975! I wanted to pioneer and I wanted to understand the 1914 teaching because I wanted to be sure how to explain if I found a Bible study and be completely convinced. Turned out the JW literature wasn’t answering my questions so I turned to do internet research In 2018. I finally woke up in 2019. One day my daughter came over and told me: mom I’m not going back to the KH! Cold turkey! And I smiled to her and said: I’m so glad you aren’t! After talking and me telling her I was a PIMO we hugged and cried. And we said now we have to help your dad to wake up! My husband wasn’t a full pledge Witness. He looked for privileges but our jobs took a lot of our time and we enjoyed our careers so we weren’t good standing witnesss- what they would call “weak spirituality “. With the daily text and me asking him some triggering questions of 1914 and other subjects that I knew he had doubts on- I was able to open conversation with him! And in the pandemic 2020 he woke up- he didn’t want to connect in zoom meetings and left his beard grow! I continued connecting as a PIMO (no answering, and walked away at times and do things in the house while the meeting was running in zoom. When pandemic was over, We haven’t gone back and the elders haven’t called not even to see if we were fine- so we have faded And we are happy! His temper has changed and is more open to conversation in our marriage because we don’t have this red flags hidden from eachother! My other daughter is married to a MS and lives in another state. So one day we connected via zoom and saw his beard - we asked for his “privileges“ and they said: no we are not attending the meeting that’s why the beard. After laughing that my husband also had a beard - they informed us they weren’t going back after research. So we are a total of 9’(including unbaltizrd grandchildren) that are out and united more than ever! The gossiping and the critisizing culture, the feeling that we are better than others, that we are Gods chosen ones is over! Now we focus on being happy, enjoy life, respect and love thy neighbors and feel free! We are not living the crazy worldly life that Watchtower describes us if someone “leaves” Jehovah. As a matter of fact we have met loving, caring people and they are as respectful people and genuine caring and non conditional loving people! Hope many will wake up and enjoy the life that God has given us! We all believe in an almighty Creator and are honest to say that sometimes we fall in the gray to become atheist/ but we support each family member and respect their opinions and can be open to discussion without imposing! Thanks again for this video- Im sharing it with my family to like and subscribe! Be safe and take care! 🤗 By the way: DOWN WITH THE TOWERRR!!!!
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but that's such a beautiful story, how you and your little girl (Well probably not so little anymore since she has children too lol) were able to rescue the family from the grips of the tower. 9 Fewer for the annual report and 9 more living happy, fulfilling lives. A happy ending if I've ever read one! 💙
@@DarthMagog hi My youngest daughter always had her doubts since she was a teen. And she didn’t believe in 607 or 1914! Once she baptized at age 17 she confessed to me she had doubts and I told her that I had the same doubt; but we both had to understand that this was the chosen religion, the truth. Just because 1 single thing doesn’t add up doesn’t mean there was something wrong- besides Jehovah will give new light at the proper time! So we brushed it off. she got married to a JW years later became a MS. Had her child. And decided to move to another state. While there and being alone with no family she began doing her personal study (like I did) and ask questions to her husband. As she tells me his explanations had no sense to her. She told me they argued alot. Until one day while they were talking about their doubts and how to clarify these they opened up! And doubts after doubts! Thin mg is my son in law was soft shunning us already because he would answer our texts or calls with cold shoulder (quick yes and no). So we knew. Months passed during the pandemic and only hi and we are ok messages from them. One day they FaceTimed or zoomed us and there he was with a beard!!! And my husband with his beard- and we asked him what is with the beard? We laughed and were so excited that they were DONE! As I said, this has been a blessing! We are united more than ever! We can talk freely our thoughts and problems with no hidden agenda or criticizing! It’s wonderful and we thank The Creator for the life that we have now! ❤️ But wait: not everything is beautiful! we all fading and keep Up to date with videos like yours ir other exJWs because we have family members totally in and we can have conversations with them. And we are well aware a shepherding visit will come sooner or later! So yeah!
As a fellow ex jw I send thanks and support virtually. I resonate with a lot of your story. I also wanted to say that if you haven’t revisited the hunchback of notre dame as an adult, you absolutely should. You’ll see right away why your parents didn’t like it. Its beautiful musical score and vocals are contradicted by the heavy topics of religion inspired hatred, racism, sexism, etc. I will say it may be a bit triggering due to religious traumas but it’s an absolutely incredible film.
“All it takes is following (the religion) the best you can until you have nothing left to give” hits so hard, because it basically describes my relationship with my parents. I think that’s why I watch so much content on high-demand religions, even though I don’t have religious trauma.
I think something interesting I notice the more I learn about JWs and the Watchtower that I never personally experienced is how insecure and paranoid leadership seem to be about people leaving the faith. The way the coerce people into staying comes off as very cult like, especially with how they talk about people outside the religion. I had a weird upbringing where my stepdad became a JW when I was in my adolescence, but because my siblings and I weren't religious growing up (Despite how much he tried converting us early on) there are still a lot of gaps in my knowledge on what the deal is with them. Channels like this help me realize how big of a bullet we dodged. I don't know what the deal with my mom was, but she did not involve herself in our interpersonal struggles with our stepdad despite not being a JW herself. Living in the old family house felt uncomfortable, none of us trusted our own parents, and there was always a sense that we weren't welcome. Shit was weird.
You know I've had those feelings of being unwelcome in my own home too. It's almost like this religion just creates socially distant families. Not sure how exactly to explain it, but it feels like that
Ironically, your story about Sean’s disfellowshipping kind of reminded me of that Caleb and Sophia episode where Peter denies being friends with Ya Boy White Jesus to save his own hide. So… Watchtower cast themselves as the villains in that one.
Right? Sean was pretty outright about the whole thing too, and also was a literal child, and they cut him lose. Peter denies the 2nd most important guy in the organization and he gets to run the whole church. No justice at all
Thank you for intellectualising how our experience works. I was converted, but I always felt like I couldn't quite fit in. I was/am intelligent, and wanted to be more than I was. I was shamed for many things, one of which was my desire for educational experiences. Eventually, I was labelled a Jezebel because of my "rebellious nature".This shocked me to the point where I left. Now I'm an English teacher. A disassociated English teacher. There are other traumas, but this is the one most relevant to your story. I will add that a friend of mine was disfellowshipped, but I refused to shun her. As far as I was concerned, this was when she would need me most. In time she returned and I was announced as no longer part of the organisation. Dear reader, she shunned me.
You're a better person than I was in that cult. It takes strength to go against populist opinion and you had that in not shunning that woman! I'm glad you're free 😊
Thank you for sharing your journey. I, too, was born-in. Woke up about the same age as you. But yeah, cognative dissonance took over, my stern elder father too! I remained a weak sister for another 14 years. Looking back, I was a pimo. Dfd at 33 for apostacy. My wake-up was more theological. So I was roped in again into mainstream christianity. But on further researching Bible history and comparing the bible with Greek mythology, I woke from that too. We were brain-washed. I am a lot older than you. But I remain a spiritual person. I just dislike religion. It is man-made and corrupt. I think that Watchtower will either fade away or morph into something unrecognisable. Love, light, and laughter, my friend. ❤ from across the pond 😊 .
I loved your comment. Me too, no more religion but still Spiritual finding solace in Writing, Nature, Art, recently retired and am trying to just be peaceful. ❤
Cheers to that Julie! I also love that this thread has taken back their spirituality. It's such a deeply personal thing and everyone deserves it to just be theirs and theirs alone.
I first want to say thanks for sharing so much of you with us and what a journey you had few. I may have commented before, I don't have much experience with JWs but for one story. I was teenager(ish) age when this lady and a child walked up to my friend and I she started talking about god ect. The one thing that really shook me about it was all my scenes were telling me to RUN! yet I was so confused here was this lady nicely dressed with child she can't be dangerous ..right? I later had a longg talk with my Mom about it and she explained what JWs are ect and to no matter what if my gut is screaming, go ask questions later. I have to say what a way to learn that lesson.
You dodged a massive bullet. They use their external appearances to hide the ugliness of the cult. It's a powerful tactic they use to draw in and keep members.
@@DarthMagog Not to sound puny but holy crap! My Mom never got into the "horrific" details with me as I was young + this wasn't a regular thing she pretty much told me to just avoid them. Yes for the recorded I'd rather be a dark apostate there I said it happy? lol.
Confession? I still can't listen to a JW Talk. Not the jokers on the Broadcasting, but one with that rusty JW equipment. I still get a brain fog, like I have a concussion. Oh, and the Kingdom Melodies? Can't listen to them.
The original songs coming out now are the ones that give me the heeby jeebies. Definitely don’t sound any different than the songs that the churches put out.
When I was a teenager, I got swept up into evangelical fanatacism. I was jealous of the other kids in youth group that went to private Christian school. Meanwhile I had to go to the icky secular humanist public school.
Thank you so much, Lord Magog, for sharing your story with the world! i know it could not have been easy, but you're a good person and i'm sure doing so will help many people 😊 Btw, have you heard of/met @ExJWCaleb here on youtube? Only asking cuz i watch both of you and it's really nice having you both to listen to and i figure if i like both of you maybe you both would like each other idk 😅 Anyway, take the time off you need; always remember your mental is important. Like they say on airplane flights, you gotta help yourself before you can help others~
You know I haven't met Caleb in person yet. We've spoken on Twitter from time to time and I'm a huge fan of his videos too actually 😀 I get the vibe that if we had been in the same Kingdom Hall as kids, we absolutely would have been on squad lol.
That was phenomenal! I was really into your story so thank you! Darth, I wish I could truly recover. It’s been years since I was disfellowshipped but the experience of the shunning and loss left me...? What’s a description...umm, fragmented. Overly sensitive. Scared. But a warrior, fighting like a cornered cat. It nearly killed me then. Thanks to podcasts, I’ve been helped so much. But sometimes, when I look back on how religion, particularly JWs and shunning f--d up my family, I get so depressed still. I see the damage they did, the pieces I picked up and the rest I have to let go of, and I think wow. It took me three years to chronicle MY WT story in a manuscript I was close to publishing called The Price of Paradise. Then my JW bro said he’d come back into my life IF I went back to JWs and DESTROYED THE MANUSCRIPT! I don’t even KNOW how he found out about it. So I did because instead of being thought of “as one dead”, I wanted the love of my big bro. But I failed again too. I couldn’t stand confessing my life full of “mistakes” to three big elders and having to write a letter of how awful the world was and how the WT was right and then stand at the back of the KH for maybe a year more of shunning to be “watched” for participation. So I broke free. My life is self-made and not bad, but the memories (PTSD) haunt me. No therapist, unless they’ve been through it, can possibly understand. In summary, your story has been wonderful and I am grateful. It IS up to me to find the “Kingdom of God within me”. No KH. No church. Me. Excellent.
Christine it breaks my heart that they manipulated you into destroying your story. Your evidence of their wrong doing. I hope your brother actually comes to his senses, saves himself and comes back to his family who was willing to sacrifice so much for him. Your strength inspires me to keep going, and for that I thank you.
27: 29 As an ex-Christian of a non-JW sect ... one of the important aspects of recovering from religious trauma is forgiving yourself for the things your organization brainwashed and manipulated you into doing. I feel guilt for the awful things my community instilled in me ... like bigotry against those different. As the quote says, religion can drive good people to do bad things. Guilt and shame are such entrenched aspects of trauma ... so showing yourself mercy is important. 💛
I wasn't a JW, but I was in very a hardcore Christian church. I had a difficult time trying to deconvert, there always being the fear of Hell. I hated church, I could never fit in due to being autistic, it wasn't until I watched Kent Hovind that I realized that I was being lied to. Its insane what happens when you actually put research into things. I appreciate your channel, and especially this origin.
Even a Christian cannot brush aside the worship of Jehovah as God. In Revelation 1:5 the Son of God called himself "Jesus Christ, 'The Faithful Witness.'" When on earth as a man he was a Jew, an Israelite, to whose nation the words of Isaiah 43:10 were written: "'You are my witnesses, ' is the utterance of Jehovah, 'even my servant whom I have chosen.'" Jesus demonstrated that he was a faithful and true witness of Jehovah. His genuine disciples today must be the same kind of witnesses, Jehovah's.
Why used Jehovah which wasn’t invented until the Middle Ages? What’s wrong with Yahweh for the Tetragrammaton? It also says god is the alpha and omega, the first and the last in revelation and has Jesus saying he is the first and last also. Not that I believe the author of revelation would likely have known what Jesus actually said with any accuracy given he was writing some sixty or so years after Jesus was executed.
From this you can begin to heal in earnest And who knows, maybe some of these friends might make a comeback. Never give up on the spirit of friendship,
I was an only child of a single mother who converted to JW from a doorknocker when i was around 2. My mum studied for years and years but never baptized, she faded when i was in high school. i stopped studying when she did but returned on two occasions to study, studied for a few years and left each time. I thought i was the problem! why wouldn't Jehovah touch my heart to make me believe this was the truth. I thought i was so evil and that's why i couldn't be a good JW. I knew in my heart it was the truth, i never once looked at apostate material even though i hadn't studied in years and years. I was riddled with guilt and fear of Armageddon. Last year i thought i would just look at one video of an ex JW and why they left, from there i watched everything i could and slowly realized its a false religion and i was never the problem, it was the cult (im 38 now). I was freed of so many years of guilt and worry. its such an amazing feeling to realize the actual truth of Js and the brutal indoctrination. Thanks for your story, appreciate your efforts and experiences!
Something cathartic I’d like to share with everyone here, The Tarot cards…. Theres a card, called The Tower. I implore each of of you to look it up, and explore its meaning, And ironically juxtapose it with somebody leaving this religion.
Granted, my first thought when setting eyes on your first video I saw, "The Worse Governing Body Members Ranked"...this guy is ridiculous. If I closed my eyes I could ignore the cosplay element. What I heard was the truth. Here too I heard your truth. It matched mine. I had never heard of PIMO. We called them "Witness Bystanders". I'm 45. Baptized at 18, disfellowedshiped @ 31. The thing is I don't hate my upbringing and I still don't watch R rated movies (mostly) I still have never used profanity. I've never had alcohol and still try to help the people around me. Being a Witness made me strong and independent. It gave me direction and morals. But I was smart and truth was difficult to hide from me. I was a crazy studier and researcher of , "The Reasoning Book, The Creation Book, and The All Scriptures Inspired", books...I absorbed and memorized and when I found the internet I found the conflicts in science, logic and archeology. I was aimless after disfellowedshiping...but good worldly people helped me find a way to meaning. I have no hate in my heart to JWs. I don't want to change them. To me they are like all the other religions. I do want to reach out to other disfellowedshiped persons. If you need someone to listen to you consider this an invitation to help navigate your new journey
At time stamp 37 06. Not done yet. But i just have to say what a fascinating story. The dynamic between your mother and you as the head of household...
Memory unlocked the Bible story on tape. But what about the dramas on cassette tape? We fell asleep to the screams of the Egyptians when they experienced the plagues. Such a wonderful childhood
Hello Darth, it's been a long time since I've been on RUclips! I miss your videos and walla, the first one I come back to is the origin story! Amazing! I've been working on myself and part of that has been walking away from watching ExJW videos on a regular basis. They were becoming triggering for me. I'm proud to say I'm finally sober again and I don't mind saying that publicly! I hope it helps others that struggle with addiction that left the organization! Being transparent about addiction is important and I sincerely want to help others if possible! So anyone that reads this is welcome to reach out to me! 🤗 Your story is very helpful to hear and I always appreciate your take on things!!! Hope you and the family are doing well! Don't hesitate to get in touch! 😉 Miss you all! Much love, Deanna June 🩷 oh, yes... I use my whole name now... 😊
Yay! June is back. Missed you good buddy, glad to see you back online too. Totally understand taking a break from the space, honestly watching a talk tends to give me some rough brain fog myself 🥲. Gotta review that in therapy one of these days eh? Anyway, glad to see your journey has improved and you're punching that addiction square in the face 💪. All my love to you and the fam 💙
You remind me of when I was studying Nichiren Buddhism, which is almost cult like. I had to memorize a prayer and I have the worst memory, I couldn't make it through the first part. (Mind you this was in Japanese and I studied that language) I basically had the worst time and my stress level for me made me mix up words. I still can't hold a Nichiren text without crying because I can't say any of the prayers without having issues. My friend's dad says it's called completion stress, he said all JW have it to a point, and almost as a joke, he still calls Nichiren Buddhism the JW of Buddhism. (I don't think he is wrong because some sects of Nichiren Buddism acts so similar)
I have to admit, i almost did not watch this since it looked crazy with the Magog thing. Just be happy you did not waste your adult life in this cult. I was a pioneer pre 1975 . We did not know the history and unless you found an old book or read an old book to find out about 1799 ,1874 , then in the 30`s changed it to 1914. I new brothers who sold their homes because of what the Awake printed inside the cover of every magazine. You are so lucky you have so many years left. I was lucky because I was Gay and had to follow my heart, otherwise I might have stayed in the cult for years or decades like so many of my friends. Sad religion that still suckers people in.
Lol the Magog armor has always been a risk for the click through rate 😅. Glad you got out early too, sounds like you got out right about when my Mom got in. Your heart did you right and took you the right way, and I'm very happy to read that 💙
Sometimes we do horrible things, because we think they are right at the time. All we can do is make our regret and shame known, and ask for forgiveness. You have done so now, and maybe a couple of wonderful people see themselves in your story, and old friendships can regrow. Welcome out into the Dark Side, Darth Magog.
Finally! The origin story!
Lol i caved to peer pressure.
@@DarthMagog no Exjw or dark lord is complete without one!
I must say, this was very different from what you've said before, you focused on what happened in the religion, not so much on you.
I must say, I am pleased that you have come so far, and you deserve everything that your life has to offer, everyone has their bad side, but not everyone has it in them to fight for themselves. Thank you. ❤❤❤
YAY
I think your story is important because it’s not some big scandal. It’s just the normal everyday crimes that are committed against people who are raised in (or join) a faith and are convinced they are doing the right thing. People need to hear hurts that aren’t sensationalized sometimes to recognize their own hurts for what they are.
You know that's a fair point. I think living it weighed down the importance in my mind. Thank you for reminding me of the value I can bring to the fight!
The minute I stopped going, I stopped getting sick. It was SO marked a change that it was noticed by others. Dont you love the way they tell you that if you are sick, you shouldnt come to meetings & expose others? While, at the same time, saying you should NEVER miss a meeting? More cognitive dissonance.
Part of me thought that the mask coming off was going to be a face reveal and a potential challenge thrown at the Watchtower at the end, but no face reveal came...
Still, it was another amazing video. Thank you again, Lord Magog!
I considered it. NGL, I'm being selfish. I have 3 or 4 PIMIs that I'm working on right now. I think once that's over with, it'll be time.
@@DarthMagog Keep it up brother! Can't wait to see you as a fully deprogrammed, "all bridges burnt" XJW! Your platform will definitely help struggling "young ones" to use their critical thinking skills, as well as help them see the truth within "The Truth"
@@DarthMagogReveal when you’re comfortable, Magog. It should be meaningful. Just like Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi
@@DarthMagogYou need to do what makes you comfortable. It's not being selfish; it's doing what helps you stay safe and happy.
@@DarthMagog Don't feel obligated to do a face reveal. It should be something you choose to do, nobody else has the right to decide. Like everyone else says, do it when you're comfortable. It's not selfish to wait until you feel right about doing a face reveal, if you want to do one anyway.
Magog: *Sings happy birthday*
JW: AAAAHHHHH THIS CHILD'S POSSESSED BY A DEMON!!!
Not true 😂
I mean, it's not untrue lol
My congratulations and sympathies to all who have escaped a cult, no matter which one it is.
This is the way!
"All it takes is following the religion the best you can until you have nothing left to give. Then you'll be punished and ridiculed just enough to see exactly what the religion is."
This statement sums up my whole 17 years as an MS in the English and Foriegn language congregations.
Endless hours of preperation, talks, assignments, preaching, busy work... and it was never enough and never good enough... Instead I was attacked for being spiritually weak and not focused... That's when I said: "Enough is enough. I'm taking a break from this."
I stopped cold turkey and it has been like a weight lifted off my sholders. A boot off my neck.
Spiritually weak, always thought that term was nonsense. God forbid you're a little too tired to do a workday's worth of door knocking on a Saturday after a long week. Glad we made it to the same spot my friend
Indeed! Darth's statement summarizes my thirty-six years of involvement with the Society, from the late '70's through the 2016 regional assembly. Granted, I was never appointed as a servant myself. But, my dad was and, consequently, through him, I had the opportunity to see some of the inner workings. I had grown up reading the organizational instructions from the Society from prior to 1972. (I grew up on the "Organization" book from 1972 and the "Organized Ministry" book from 1983 and revised in 1989.) Clearly, there were policies with which Dad disagreed on a personal level. For instance, he was a public-school teacher and was the staunchest advocate for education I had the honor of knowing while I was growing up, even encouraging college students with whom he interacted on their secular jobs to learn all they could and complete their degrees. Of course, that was in direct variance with the Society's position on education, particularly higher education. I'm still trying to work on pursuing my own education. Nevertheless, the older I get, the more I appreciate Dad's example.
While I myself was never appointed as a servant, I still endeavoured to do what I could to practice what we had been taught by the Society. I reached out to help as opportunities presented themselves. I always went to the Friday work days in conjunction with the circuit assemblies. I worked in the Food Service department until the Society discontinued that at its assemblies. I couldn't make it to all the quick-builds, but I went whenever I could. I even helped adjacent congregations in the field service. Indeed, my long days in the service were often with adjacent congregations. From time to time, I would simply conduct the rendezvous for field service as the adjacent congregation didn't have a brother available at the moment and I had already made arrangements to work in my congregation. Eventually, I even transferred to an adjacent congregation both to help them and, at the same time, to bolster my own standing with regard to the Society. Through the years, I had taken seriously the congregational study articles on singleness. After my dad died in January 1994, it fell to me to "take the lead" in my family, despite being in my early teens at the time. (My brother's health necessarily precluded him from doing so.) So it was that at fourteen I found myself in the strange position of conducting meetings, be it the family study or the rendezvous for field service-and only because I was an immersed brother. Even at the time it never made sense to me. After all, here were sisters (including Mom) who had been immersed longer and who seemed to me to be qualified to take on certain assignments. Even so, I had to do it because of some (I now understand misogynistic) policy from the Society. In time, Mom's health fell into decline and I wound up taking on more of the responsibilities around the house. As with Darth, my own health began suffering from the load. Of course, we didn't realize that at the time. Circa 2011, it began to be suggested that I might be depressed. But, with essentially nothing more to go on, I had to basically compartmentalize that. In short, I had been trying to do too much and I was completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, albeit effectively unawares.
November 2013, we moved cross-country. I was worried that Mom couldn't handle the Ohio winters anymore. So, we went where it was supposed to be warmer. The circumstances of the move were, shall we say, less than ideal. And, again, my own health was not the best. Indeed, I had only been able to resume something resembling my normal schedule just before the Society's annual meeting in October. (That was the big letdown of a program where the 2013 edition of the "New World Translation" had been issued.) We had arranged to stay with my younger sister for a time until we could move into our apartment. But, upon our arrival, she claims that she had completely forgotten that we would be there when we said we would. No one was at her house. We needed to get some help along the lines of "sustenance and covering" as the move itself had cost us a veritable king's ransom. So, of course, we contacted our new congregation. Thus began what amounted to discussions between three congregations: My mom and brother's last congregation, my last congregation and our new congregation. What I learned during the course of that multi-party discussion shook me to my core. Aware of their health situation, the last congregation of my mom and brother sent good letters of recommendation. Aware of my health situation, despite none of us really knowing the underlying causes, my last congregation sent a negative letter of recommendation. In effect, the attitude of my last congregation was: "What have you done for us lately?" Consequently, the decision of our new congregation was to not render aid. In time, and in a roundabout way, we were able to sustain ourselves until our apartment was ready. But, the damage wrought by the Society had been done. Mom died June 2015. My brother moved in with our younger sister. And I ended up homeless.
During the ensuing thirteen months, I attempted to fully re-establish myself within the Society. And it was during this period that I saw the true irony of what had happened during our move. The congregation had now rallied around me, giving me rides to and from the meetings and the circuit assemblies, taking me to meals and giving me clothes for the meetings to recoup what I had to lose by becoming homeless and having to stay in a shelter. It was truly bizarre. I couldn't help but think: "Only a year-and-a-half ago, you didn't want anything to do with my family and you tried to blame me for that. Now, all of a sudden, since I'm on my own, you want to be nice?" I had to realize that there was only one reason for this sudden change on their part, to wit, they figured that since I now had more time due to no longer being encumbered with familial responsibilities that I would be able to give myself thoroughly to the Society and they wanted to do everything in their power to make that happen. That didn't sit well with me because I knew that, if I were to do so, I would have to want that for myself, that I was absolutely convinced that this was the Truth and not because the congregation was extending conditional liberality toward me.
July 2016, I was next confronted with the regional assembly. Where I was staying at the time was within reasonable walking distance of the coliseum. In fact, it was closer than even the Kingdom Hall to which I was assigned. So, I walked to the assembly. Due to the above-mentioned circumstances, I had missed both the 2014 international assembly and the 2015 regional assembly. As a result, I was unaware of the changes to the format the Society had made. I was not prepared to see a film during each discourse or for the dramas to have been filmed. But, those things were merely asthetic. What really caught my attention was the general tone of the program. It was as though I were paying attention for the first time in decades, and I couldn't abide what I was hearing. I increasingly had the sense that I was there simply to say goodbye. (Bear in mind that even during the sessions I couldn't figure out why.) Monday afternoon, the day after the program ended, I was taking a walk along the riverfront. As I stopped to sit down for a moment, I was reflecting on the assembly and resolved to never again darken the doorway of a meeting or assembly.
Seven-and-a-half years later, I have kept that resolve. In that time, I have learned the underlying causes of my health issues: Major depression, severe anxiety, PTSD, etc. And, thanks to the help of professionals in the mental-health field, these conditions have improved considerably. I won't by any means say that they've ended; however, I am able to function. That, combined with having left the Society, has resulted in a sense of being more comfortable with myself and a renewed desire to explore my horizons, and that without being made to feel as though I haven't fulfilled certain obligations to some cult.
That's really all. There's nothing particularly exciting. As with Darth, it was really a matter of going through the everyday, trying to do what needed to be done and, when even that was too much for my health, being confronted with false allegations, in my case, of doing little or nothing for the Society.
@@thomash.schwed3662 gatos mios, the dissonance with the changes, I know! Seeing some of this stuff after leaving in 2011 was so wild. We had just barely started saying "COBE" Instead of "PO" and JW broadcasting is so insane. It's almost a different religion entirely. I'm glad you've found so much healing now though, that's an amazing story to read! Showing how hypocritical Watchtower is in their "unconditional Christian fellowship." Indeed
Your story about your disfellowshipped friend really got to me, because even though it was under very different circumstances, I made the same mistake. Once upon a time in, this galexy, there were a group of 3 friends. Chelsea, Matt, and Bo. They were very close, bonded because they'd all been born with the same chronic illness and had shared and similar experiences that no one would ever understand. One day, Bo moved to another city and a year later, Matt left too. They were both sicker than their friend and the hospital there was better equipped to help them if they got into trouble. Sadly though, it wasnt enough, and Matt passed away about a year after leaving. Bo and I were heartbroken, but in my grief and anger I came to envy Bo fir getting to go to the same school and spending so much more time with Matt in his final months. He had to be jist as shattered by our friend's death as I was, and what did I do? Did I draw closer and allow us to comfort and hold each other up?
No. I turned my back on him, declined phone calls, party invitations, and hanging out together because even though he might've been the only person who could have understood what I was going through, I was too angry and filled with envy and pain to see that. Many years later, I tried to track him down to apologize and reconnect. To my horror, I learned that he had passed away several months before I'd tried to reach out. One of my oldest friends left this world probably thinking I hated him, and that will always haunt me.
People, especially children and teens, when backed against a wall or in a situation they lack the tools to deal with, do some really dumb, regrettable stuff.
Oh and that's so much to go through for all of you guys. It's hard to sort through these things that only some people understand. Even with all the support in the world. I like to think your friend might have just understood it was you trying to process the pain. Not as bad as we think
To finally hear your story is amazing. Just cause its not over the top doesnt mean its not important. Each stroy can help others in different ways.
Thank you for finally telling your story. Keep watching the watchtower.
That's the plan my friend, thank you for watching :)
Your story is so touching 😢. I ran back into that burning building, dragging my 2 kids who had just moved into a new area in their early teens, a very vulnerable time. They were just starting making new friends & I made them outcast pariahs😢.
I THREW myself into everything, but we were always outsiders.
I feel so guiltily over 20 yrs on.
OMG! You too? Me too! Thank you for sharing. I feel so alone in the guilt I feel even all these many years later. ❤😢
Hey Sunny, I feel ya though. Honestly I don't blame you. I remember my parents would freak out on me at the Kingdom Hall for not paying attention and other things because they literally thought that the world was going to end in 15 minutes. You did the best you could as a parent. The difference between you and my parents, is that you have acknowledged your mistake and you're doing things to make it better. So, for what it's worth, I wish my folks were like you. 💙
Thank you for sharing your story. It doesn't have to be shocking to be interesting-and hopefully helpful and relatable to some. And frankly, the way you had to act as "mini-mom," the tension in your home, and the forced separation from your closest friends? With religious pressure making everything ten times as serious? That stuff is hard enough.
Stories like this help us understand each other-and, by extension, ourselves. Even if we don't relate personally to everything. And even if there are no especially "exciting" moments. This is one of the beauties of RUclips.
Lol yeah, I was talking to Fives about this yesterday at Hannukah. They told me I probably think it's boring because it was normalized and stretched over 20 odd years. I'm glad to have your support!
27:28 my heart broke, as i think about the same guilt of watching important people suffer as the Cult made me preserve my own life instead of help those who might have needed it. Tears for all of you who needed love and friendship and lost so much, so young.
Couldn't have said it better myself. These cults really love to say that they're all about support, until it becomes inconvenient
As someone who doesn't have any history with the religion, but was still raised Religious, I've learned a lot from your videos.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, so Glad that you're better than you were back then and I hope you just keep going up and up! Better and better!
Also with that Angle I went 😳for a second
Lol edited the whole thing and didn't think for a second about it.
* * Raises lightsaber in respectful salute to your bravery in telling your story* * Well told, Lord Magog. As for myself, many years ago, I came within a hairsbreadth of becoming a JW; an offer of what appeared to me as real friendship (absolute psychosocial gold, nay platinum for the 'weird kid' I was [due to ADHD] ) was what drew me in, and the promise of immortality combined with the 'Armageddon could happen any second now' line kept me interested...briefly. What got me out was surprisingly small: when I found that our family dog could not come into 'the new system' with us, I was appalled at it, because to me, paradise would not be paradise without everything I loved, including my dog. This also sowed the seeds of doubt for Christianity as a whole, which would sprout years later when I was in my early twenties (another tale for another time). That was forty years ago, and those seeds are still blooming nicely. What you, Lord Magog, have done for me has been to help me fully realize the calibre of the bullet I dodged (thanks to my dog) all those years ago.
What a wonderful comment! ❤
Your dog is a hero. True, unconditional love is what defeated the Watchtower here. And that's absolutely made my day. Glad you're here on the outside of the tower with me 😀
Thank you for sharing your story 🙂 I met witnesses at the age of 16 and I studied for two years, luckily I did not become a JW, because I realized that it is not "the truth". I was a good target for them because I was lost, perceived as strange and depressed.
Awesome! Going to catch up now. See you on the other side!
Edit: Wow, Darth. Just finished hearing your story. Lots of hugs and love your way. 💙 Thank you for sharing your story.
I don't feel the disfellowshipped friend you had no choice but to ignore would harbor resentment against your personally. I hope he one day sees this channel and understands what really happened. This cult really does make you act in ways you normally would not.
As a side note, I also collect Yugioh cards and have an interest in martial arts. Its cool we have that in common.
See Alpha I knew there was a reason we got along, Thank you for all the support all this time. It's really made a difference on the journey.
@@DarthMagog You're most welcome. I'm glad to be of support. That means alot to me that I've helped you through your journey. And I will continue to do so 💙
My experience with JW’s is fairly mundane. It started around 2019. Things were “normal” but I noticed something’s off. One of the meetings had shown a Caleb & Sophia video (The Sparlock toy one). I immediately thought that Caleb’s mother wouldn’t have the energy to continuously ride bikes with her own son… if they were real people. Another meeting had just read a rather graphic Old Testament verse involving impaling with a spear a couple having sex… while children were in attendance. Those were my two cracks. As the Bible studies went on, I noticed how much of my input and answers mattered very little . Instead, they cared more about me responding in their perfectly scripted responses. Long story short, the studies were put on hold when I wasn’t showing much progress. I had learned and memorized their entire doctrine but I didn’t show much interest in actually going through with the baptism. I can easily see what they were attempting to do. I don’t have much of a sense of self, but when they tried to overwrite my personality with that of a worshipping drone, I knew the religion wasn’t for me.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall with a study like that. Actual intellectual discussion instead of just obediently reading the highlighted answers. Betcha their heads were spinning.
I'm glad you didn't go any further with the studies. The fact that the Watchtower care very little about what we actually think about the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses also helped me to decide AGAINST joining the religious group. I knew straightaway that Jehovah's Witnesses just wasn't for me.
My heart goes out to you...many hugs 🤗❤️
Thank you Fran 😊
Hey brother,
It may not have been the most thrilling story, but it's yours, and you're important in and of yourself. The honesty and ruthless self reflection are admirable.
I went through something like that thirty years before you did, but I never thought to put the effort in to help others out of that zany cult the way you have. If I have a point to all this, it's that you should be proud, not just of what you've done, but why you've done it. You should also know how much others appreciate it and you.
Can’t wait!! Been looking forward to this ☺️☺️
Lol I hope I didn't over hype this 😅
@@DarthMagognever!! ♥️
Thank you for sharing your story with us viewers it was interesting to hear. Darth Magog keep exposing the watchtower for being the cult it truly is. You are helping the EXJW community and you are helping people wake up from the mind control of the watchtower.
Thanks for supporting me Jeannie, we'll stay in the fight!
The Hunchback of Notre Dame points an accusatory finger against those who use religion and power to oppress the little ones. Frollo was surely an unwanted mirror for the Elders or the clique running JW inc.
Each voice has to be heard and each story is to be told. Yours might not be scandalous or filled to the brim with explosions but it is still important. Even a single candle can lit up a whole dark room. I hope you will find peace in your journey.
I am not an ex-JW but I was raised (and still practicing) catholic. Your channel resonates with the three core tenets of religious practice inherited by my parents.
-The importance of questioning/discussing dogmas.
-Faith is a journey of personal encounter with God (or the divine)
-If something isnt centered around kindness, mercy and charity, run.
Once again I have spoken too much but each of your videos are highly thought provoking 😄.
Awww thanks Laurence! I'm glad that I'm able to find people across faiths (and a lack of faith) and build a community around that. Critical thinking saves lives.
Thankyou for sharing your story. You have no reason to apologise for it not being more dramatic; people want to support you and your authentic truth. If we want to hear lurid, fantasical stories of dramatic tension and big events, there's other channels for that. As to what others have said about potential face reveals, don't worry about it at all. Having that level of anonymity probably makes it easier to help your PIMI friends, and isn't that more important than satisfying the curiosity of an equally faceless youtube comments section?
You make a good point. The time for my civilian identity will come, but for now I can do a little more good as Darth Magog.
Bro I have been waitin for this lore drop
But seriously tho, thank you for sharing your story Darth Magog. It takes guts to do somethin like that, genuinely you are an inspiration. My story, like yours isn’t very harrowing. I wasn’t JW, but I was Christian in a very isolated town in the south. To say the teachings were very… racist, homophobic and misogynistic would be an understatement. I was always shunned for being different and felt myself feeling very alone, so I did what any other kid would do and hate everyone who was different as much as everyone hated me. Wasn’t until high school I met other people who were different and got to make genuine connections and realize that just because someone is different, doesn’t mean they arnt a person. I got a chance to cut out those horrible teachings and learn about who I was. This was unfortunately after I lost my closest friend due to my teachings. He was my best friend and he trusted me. He came out to me as gay and I just cut off all ties. I regret that so much. It hurts to look back and know that he trusted me and I betrayed him like that. Funny enough all that hatred I had for others who were lgbtq was because I am also apart of the community and was just taking out my own self hatred onto others, so I guess the egg is on my face, now others are the ones turning their backs on me lol. I loved your story, origins don’t have to be horrifying and scandalous, they can be simply just seeing the cracks over time before eventually leaving. Thank you Magog. Your story was comforting and therapeutic for me. Knowing I am not alone in making grave mistakes based off of religion.
100% with you. Also, don't be too hard on yourself. The people around you kept you ensconced in that environment, in my book that's child abuse too. I do hope one day you can reconnect with your friend. But either way, we continue gaining strength despite our origins. The Force is with us!
A beautifully told tale of a tough and unfair experience. I remember the few times I stepped into a Kingdom Hall out of curiosity and felt that warmth and love that I today recognize as conditional and all demanding. I hope that life will just keep getting better for you and everyone else that gets out of the hall.
So far so good on this front. It does help to have support though, we'll keep going that direction
Thank you for sharing your origins. This is important to share. I hope that it helps many. 💚
Hoping the same my friend 💙
I'm so, so, _so_ sorry that you had to endure all this. I sincerely hope that you'll continue to find peace and healing after all this.
Much appreciated. I'm getting stronger ever day, despite what CCJW likes to say.
@@DarthMagog I was never JW, but I can relate to an extent to having to deconstruct/unlearn conservative religious indoctrination. It ain't easy, and I can only imagine how difficult it was for you. I wish you the best. 💖
@@DarthMagogWhich church are preaching the gospel of the kingdom around the world to all nations as Jesus Christ said? Matthew 10:16, 24:14, 28:19-20, Mark 13:10, if not only only only the Jehovah's witnesses..
@vusimngomezulu2500 7th Day Adventists, Latter Day Saints and also the International Bible Students
@@DarthMagog Please show me a proof of that.
Thank you for sharing it was vary interesting as someone who's never been in or has never meet a JW these types of videos do help. Thx.
Happy to help, JW Culture is an interesting place to live.
You’re awesome and thank you for sharing your story. You’re inspiring and funny, and I appreciate you bringing a light to this important topic. ❤
Aww thanks Kimi, that means a lot to me!
Having finished up, my main thought is this:
We, survivors of religious (or any) trauma, tend to do a reverse “pain olympics” from “normal people”… which is to say that we minimize our trauma and say “so many others had it worse, at least I blah blah blah”. We all do it - when you have so much trauma that you don’t need to invent drama to make you special, all you want to do is minimize the trauma and hold up the things you are proud of.
You’re story is valid. Your trauma is valid. Telling your story may well be the thing that opens the door for someone else, some young person facing all of the same pressures you were but who hasn’t broken their shelf quite yet, to go “hey, I matter. My hopes and dreams matter. *My time matters.* And I don’t deserve to be abused this way.” Listening to you may be the thing that helps them make a better choice… and if it doesn’t? So what? Telling your story, taking that off of your chest, may help you process pieces of it that you had no idea you were even holding on to! It helps clarify things to say them out loud.
I am proud of and grateful for you for sharing your origin story with us. It gives me a better understanding of why it is so important to you that you have a child care specialist present and participating when you discuss the trauma of Caleb and Sophia instead of lending only your JW expertise - which would be enough - to the story. I see why you take such care in your discussions and explanations of what is going on in those indoctrinating videos, and I appreciate the care you take a bit more. I’m so glad we have you in the cult survivor community!
Thank you so much for that. It's actually encouraging to know that what we're doing here at Darth Magog is making a difference :)
This video made cry! Thank you for sharing your story!
Aw PG, thanks for coming through. I love seeing your comments on the videos, and thanks for supporting me through my journey!
I am not a Jehova's Witness, nor do I know any, but this channel (as well as a few others) have helped in giving me a greater understanding of what JWs are struggling with and go through. I remember I used to have someone knock on our door, though they were only there for a few weeks (I think they were visiting our town or something, they didn't live there), and the ensuing conversation I had with my parents about it was the equivalent of a non-commital shrug. Like, no one really knows what's going on.
As a kid, I always thought JWs were weird, and that was the end of my train of thought. But, thanks to your channel, Owen Telltale's, and a few others, I've come to realize as an adult that it's not the weirdness that I should be focusing on, but the people instead. They're people doing what they think is right, and that alone makes them worthy of respect and time.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope this channel can continue to reach out towards and help other JWs and ex-JWs alike. You all deserve so much more than the religion is giving you, and I sincerely hope everyone can continue to heal and move forward into the future.
And hell yeah to the Star Wars aesthetic, it was a brilliant choice for a channel like this and it just makes me happy. Keep doing what you're doing, man!
You got it Dimonds, thank you for your support. It means so much that people that are completely, or at least mostly, disconnected from Jehovah's Witnesses are able to see the message and keep away from the tower. In the long run I think that'll be the most important thing for those of us fighting it's harmful cult practices.
After hearing your story, it baffles me further that my father went back to the org 30 years after he left it behind and ever since then he has tried to convert me, my brother, and my mom but has failed.
They grab a strong hold. And it gets harder and harder to break as you get older honestly.
It takes a lot of strength to share things like that. I'm not ExJW but I did escape Narcissistic Abuse and everything I know - reminds me of that. You're still a victim of abuse, albeit emotionally and psychologically, at the hands of what amounted to as a cult and I'm some guy on the internet in the faceless masses but - I'm still proud you had the strength to sahare. I still watch. Keep fighting the good fight Lord Magog.
Thank you so much, we'll keep up the good fight.
Interesting listening. This was really good. Thank you!
I recognized heeps of things you mentioned. The control is what finally made me leave. The phone calls constantly reminding me to report hours of «preaching», phone calls from people who saw me pick up a 76 year old friend (to drive to a restaurant )of the opposite sex without having anyone else in the car (which is forbidden), and when I was really sick for several weeks the constant phone calls asking why I wasn’t at the meetings. Etc, etc, etc.
Omg they got mad at you for picking up a senior citizen for Sunday Service? Even i got away with driving Sister Jay to Kingdom Hall, since she was old enough to be my (grand)mother. Smh
DarthMagog, Thank you for telling your story. You are so talented and I love how you edit your video to your story.
seeing you and hearing these stories gives me the confidence to speak out on my experiences of my family being JW and Catholic (they had switched a few times) maybe some day im the future, I'll probably end up following in your footsteps, mask on, voice changed, I'd hate for my real self to be known due yo personal reasons but maybe some day that would be enough.
and i just wanted to thank you dor that, even if its silly
I’d love to read a book you write or however you tell your story. I was born-in to very strict Catholicism in the most dysfunctional alcoholic rage family ever. Then to JWs when I grew up because I was tired of hell talk. Then JW destruction talk ALL the time! From the fire into the Instant Destruction! I was finally ds’fd for disagreeing on a couple of doctrines and they tortured me with shunning and loss of family. So Catholicism and WT now I’m free from it all but have bad PTSD. Nightmares and all that. I’m fine.
Love seeing people connect in the comments. Stay in touch if you decide to speak out yourself, I can help you out with some of the technicals. We Apostate Lords should stick together, use that "Christian Unity" against the Watchtower eh?
@@christinesotelo7655 i was born in a very very strict JW house wtih yeah yk raging alcoholics they made the switch sometime before one of my siblings was born and then i went through all Catholic"rites of passage" pretty quickly, it really only got worse from there
@@DarthMagog the most that scares me tbh is like people finding out who I am - family or otherwise, since ik they'd have a lot they could say on me yo hurt me or other ppl i care about. so seeing this faceless display really brought some comfort and ideas to me that it IS possible.
I'd say the hardest part is being able to finally get a proper education, i was homeschooled and definitely not taught anything properly to keep me from reaching out. But I'll get there one day
@@emofurryboyfriendasmr you will, you're stronger than you think!
Bro I absolutely loved your origin story...I can relate abit too..... The control factors are what woke me up too
There is a reason your story resonates with so many people. i am jw nor ever considered being one, I'm a pimo catholic. I still go mass, my daughter is an altar server and we are technically both still good standing Catholics are far as anyone can tell.
I am in recovery and currently live with fervent Baptists. I lost all faith in religion a few years ago but don't really have the ability to fully leave because of economic reasons. I watch channels like yours to stay sane and realize that there are other people who think and feel as i do. My daughter has already said she's questioning the whole thing and I can't blame her.
It's very difficult to tell the ones you knew in the religion that you don't believe as you did before. It's really difficult to explain to a die hard believer that you don't believe as they do.
The cracks in logic lead to questions about everything in your life and makes you regret wasting the years in the faith. I stay in the church because i don't have a choice right now.
Some of the cracks you described are similar ones that i have thought about many times. The shunning, the treatment of lgbtq community and the guilt tripping are awful.
The breaking point for me was during covid when i was told the virus was a divine punishment for whatever. No one comforted me when death was everywhere, only god is mad. No one deserves to die as they did or suffer like they did.
My solence in this time is channels like yours, art, music and going to shows my roommates don't know about. It shows me I'm not alone. Thank you for what you do.
I'm sorry you're experiencing something like this, I'm a catholic but I think the people don't seem to understand that a virus isn't divine punishment. Sometimes it happens in an unfortunate circumstance. Hope you and your daughter Don't lose faith and get better with the economy, I know right now its shit lol.
@@Toxic-cd4yh thank you. I don't think people realize how evil that divine punishment phrase is. I have found a different faith than what I first believed. Beauty and art keep me going, if just to remind me that it's not all poo. I couldn't say any of this to the people around me. Thank you.
No problem, man, I'll pray for you and your daughter and family, God bless you, brother/sister!@@nola281
Thank you for YOUR story too. I was raised Catholic went all through Parochial schools, etc. then...WT ! OMG!!! No more religion! 😮
@@christinesotelo7655 some would call it strange that an ex jw dressed as Darth Vader could help a lot of people who aren't or ever were jws. The similarities between both faiths are startling. I glad it helped you.
The fact you arising happened in The Old Republic turned me from a friendly Revanite to your ally within The Empire...
Didn't think that anyone would see it was from SWTOR. Love that you did
Awesome! You have the great gift of story-telling (I can't believe I just saw the entire video staring at your mask). I am an ex-JW going through a mid-life crisis, and even though I faded away more than 12 years ago, I still blame the tower and my well-meaning parents for the lack of social skills that still affect my personal life. We all share basically the same story, and the fact that this keeps on happening to many young victims is appalling. Thanks for your courage, and keep up the fight!
To turn some of Watchtower's language against them, it's encouraging to hear that my experience is shared too. Well, I'm not happy that they coerced you too, but it helps me feel less crazy talking about this stuff. Thanks again for watching!
As im currently writing im 16 pimo and have not have any true friends for the past 4 years ive been isolated and just in really bad headspace overall your story is very similar to mine im just thankful that i woke up before i reached adulthood thank you lord Magog i anticipate your return !
Thank you my friend. Please stay safe, don't forget your web safety. My videos aren't exactly Elder approved, even with the silly Star Wars venier. You're already doing better than I was at that age, I forsee a happy, Watchtower-Free Future for you 😁
@@DarthMagogthank you Lord magog question did you ever reconnect with your friend who was Dfed ?
@@Haytere working on it actually, so that may happen
I was never baptized and I stopped going to meetings altogether and I have my father to thank for that as we had a healthy relationship and he protected me from the more harmful teachings of the JW’s and in a sense when he left the cult, I left it too. It was remarkably easy as I never really consistently paid attention during meetings, I only did minor talks just for some experience talking in front of a crowd not for any “spiritual” reason and didn’t do it for long. Eventually when the pandemic hit I fully left and never got baptized. Never felt better being free.
Loved your video, Darth Magog!!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
I was a devout Catholic- age 16 when I met and fell for a JW ❤
He and we had very difficult discussions when religion was the deterant of our relationship. We liked eachother but he stood his ground that he couldn’t continue seeing eachother because I was worldly! So, I decided to take a Bible study. I remember it was in our last high school semester when I started studying with a sister. At the time it was the blue book: the truth l. Honestly it impressed me with every teaching backed up with a bible text.
We married 4 years later, since my Catholic parents were furious and made me sometime difficult to attend meetings. I promised my dad that I will get an associate degree since he always said not to depend on a man!
Our first years of marriage were 50-50! He had his mental
Issues and bad temper. So far we’ve been married for 35 years now and 2 children and 4 grandchildren.
My oldest woke up at the same time as me. My problem was the dates 1914 and I had heard from my husband what happened in 1975!
I wanted to pioneer and I wanted to understand the 1914 teaching because I wanted to be sure how to explain if I found a Bible study and be completely convinced. Turned out the JW literature wasn’t answering my questions so I turned to do internet research
In 2018. I finally woke up in 2019. One day my daughter came over and told me: mom I’m not going back to the KH! Cold turkey! And I smiled to her and said: I’m so glad you aren’t! After talking and me telling her I was a PIMO we hugged and cried. And we said now we have to help your dad to wake up!
My husband wasn’t a full pledge Witness. He looked for privileges but our jobs took a lot of our time and we enjoyed our careers so we weren’t good standing witnesss- what they would call “weak spirituality “.
With the daily text and me asking him some triggering questions of 1914 and other subjects that I knew he had doubts on- I was able to open conversation with him! And in the pandemic 2020 he woke up- he didn’t want to connect in zoom meetings and left his beard grow! I continued connecting as a PIMO (no answering, and walked away at times and do things in the house while the meeting was running in zoom.
When pandemic was over, We haven’t gone back and the elders haven’t called not even to see if we were fine- so we have faded
And we are happy! His temper has changed and is more open to conversation in our marriage because we don’t have this red flags hidden from eachother!
My other daughter is married to a MS and lives in another state. So one day we connected via zoom and saw his beard - we asked for his “privileges“ and they said: no we are not attending the meeting that’s why the beard. After laughing that my husband also had a beard - they informed us they weren’t going back after research.
So we are a total of 9’(including unbaltizrd grandchildren) that are out and united more than ever!
The gossiping and the critisizing culture, the feeling that we are better than others, that we are Gods chosen ones is over! Now we focus on being happy, enjoy life, respect and love thy neighbors and feel free!
We are not living the crazy worldly life that Watchtower describes us if someone “leaves” Jehovah. As a matter of fact we have met loving, caring people and they are as respectful people and genuine caring and non conditional loving people!
Hope many will wake up and enjoy the life that God has given us! We all believe in an almighty Creator and are honest to say that sometimes we fall in the gray to become atheist/ but we support each family member and respect their opinions and can be open to discussion without imposing!
Thanks again for this video- Im sharing it with my family to like and subscribe!
Be safe and take care!
🤗
By the way:
DOWN WITH THE TOWERRR!!!!
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but that's such a beautiful story, how you and your little girl (Well probably not so little anymore since she has children too lol) were able to rescue the family from the grips of the tower. 9 Fewer for the annual report and 9 more living happy, fulfilling lives. A happy ending if I've ever read one! 💙
@@DarthMagog hi
My youngest daughter always had her doubts since she was a teen. And she didn’t believe in 607 or 1914! Once she baptized at age 17 she confessed to me she had doubts and I told her that I had the same doubt; but we both had to understand that this was the chosen religion, the truth. Just because 1 single thing doesn’t add up doesn’t mean there was something wrong- besides Jehovah will give new light at the proper time!
So we brushed it off.
she got married to a JW years later became a MS. Had her child. And decided to move to another state. While there and being alone with no family she began doing her personal study (like I did) and ask questions to her husband. As she tells me his explanations had no sense to her.
She told me they argued alot. Until one day while they were talking about their doubts and how to clarify these they opened up! And doubts after doubts!
Thin mg is my son in law was soft shunning us already because he would answer our texts or calls with cold shoulder (quick yes and no). So we knew.
Months passed during the pandemic and only hi and we are ok messages from them. One day they FaceTimed or zoomed us and there he was with a beard!!!
And my husband with his beard- and we asked him what is with the beard? We laughed and were so excited that they were DONE!
As I said, this has been a blessing! We are united more than ever! We can talk freely our thoughts and problems with no hidden agenda or criticizing! It’s wonderful and we thank The Creator for the life that we have now!
❤️
But wait: not everything is beautiful! we all fading and keep
Up to date with videos like yours ir other exJWs because we have family members totally in and we can have conversations with them.
And we are well aware a shepherding visit will come sooner or later! So yeah!
Woooooooooop 🙌🏼 I’ve been WAITING for this one!
Hopefully it was worth the wait lol
As a fellow ex jw I send thanks and support virtually. I resonate with a lot of your story. I also wanted to say that if you haven’t revisited the hunchback of notre dame as an adult, you absolutely should. You’ll see right away why your parents didn’t like it. Its beautiful musical score and vocals are contradicted by the heavy topics of religion inspired hatred, racism, sexism, etc. I will say it may be a bit triggering due to religious traumas but it’s an absolutely incredible film.
“All it takes is following (the religion) the best you can until you have nothing left to give” hits so hard, because it basically describes my relationship with my parents. I think that’s why I watch so much content on high-demand religions, even though I don’t have religious trauma.
There are a lot of parallels admittedly
I think something interesting I notice the more I learn about JWs and the Watchtower that I never personally experienced is how insecure and paranoid leadership seem to be about people leaving the faith. The way the coerce people into staying comes off as very cult like, especially with how they talk about people outside the religion.
I had a weird upbringing where my stepdad became a JW when I was in my adolescence, but because my siblings and I weren't religious growing up (Despite how much he tried converting us early on) there are still a lot of gaps in my knowledge on what the deal is with them.
Channels like this help me realize how big of a bullet we dodged. I don't know what the deal with my mom was, but she did not involve herself in our interpersonal struggles with our stepdad despite not being a JW herself. Living in the old family house felt uncomfortable, none of us trusted our own parents, and there was always a sense that we weren't welcome. Shit was weird.
You know I've had those feelings of being unwelcome in my own home too. It's almost like this religion just creates socially distant families. Not sure how exactly to explain it, but it feels like that
So excited!
Thanks good buddy :)
I can hardly wait for the sequel!!! Thanks for sharing. I feel a disturbance in the force...
Sequel? 😳
Your story explains it simply; they know that if you go to school and get educated you will learn the truth.
Pretty much. Education is the Watchtower's Kryptonite. Well, I guess regular krypton is too, but I digress.
Looking forward to it.❤
I hope it lives up to expectations
@@DarthMagog It did!
@DarthMagog Loved it.
Ironically, your story about Sean’s disfellowshipping kind of reminded me of that Caleb and Sophia episode where Peter denies being friends with Ya Boy White Jesus to save his own hide. So… Watchtower cast themselves as the villains in that one.
Right? Sean was pretty outright about the whole thing too, and also was a literal child, and they cut him lose. Peter denies the 2nd most important guy in the organization and he gets to run the whole church. No justice at all
Thank you for intellectualising how our experience works. I was converted, but I always felt like I couldn't quite fit in. I was/am intelligent, and wanted to be more than I was. I was shamed for many things, one of which was my desire for educational experiences. Eventually, I was labelled a Jezebel because of my "rebellious nature".This shocked me to the point where I left. Now I'm an English teacher. A disassociated English teacher. There are other traumas, but this is the one most relevant to your story.
I will add that a friend of mine was disfellowshipped, but I refused to shun her. As far as I was concerned, this was when she would need me most. In time she returned and I was announced as no longer part of the organisation.
Dear reader, she shunned me.
You're a better person than I was in that cult. It takes strength to go against populist opinion and you had that in not shunning that woman! I'm glad you're free 😊
Thank you for sharing your journey. I, too, was born-in. Woke up about the same age as you. But yeah, cognative dissonance took over, my stern elder father too! I remained a weak sister for another 14 years. Looking back, I was a pimo. Dfd at 33 for apostacy. My wake-up was more theological. So I was roped in again into mainstream christianity. But on further researching Bible history and comparing the bible with Greek mythology, I woke from that too.
We were brain-washed. I am a lot older than you. But I remain a spiritual person. I just dislike religion. It is man-made and corrupt.
I think that Watchtower will either fade away or morph into something unrecognisable.
Love, light, and laughter, my friend. ❤ from across the pond 😊 .
I loved your comment. Me too, no more religion but still Spiritual finding solace in Writing, Nature, Art, recently retired and am trying to just be peaceful. ❤
Cheers to that Julie! I also love that this thread has taken back their spirituality. It's such a deeply personal thing and everyone deserves it to just be theirs and theirs alone.
I first want to say thanks for sharing so much of you with us and what a journey you had few. I may have commented before, I don't have much experience with JWs but for one story. I was teenager(ish) age when this lady and a child walked up to my friend and I she started talking about god ect. The one thing that really shook me about it was all my scenes were telling me to RUN! yet I was so confused here was this lady nicely dressed with child she can't be dangerous ..right? I later had a longg talk with my Mom about it and she explained what JWs are ect and to no matter what if my gut is screaming, go ask questions later. I have to say what a way to learn that lesson.
You dodged a massive bullet. They use their external appearances to hide the ugliness of the cult. It's a powerful tactic they use to draw in and keep members.
@@DarthMagog Not to sound puny but holy crap! My Mom never got into the "horrific" details with me as I was young + this wasn't a regular thing she pretty much told me to just avoid them. Yes for the recorded I'd rather be a dark apostate there I said it happy? lol.
I am cringing when I see The "Brothers" talking. I was raised in this cult, it's still daunting af.
Confession? I still can't listen to a JW Talk. Not the jokers on the Broadcasting, but one with that rusty JW equipment. I still get a brain fog, like I have a concussion. Oh, and the Kingdom Melodies? Can't listen to them.
The original songs coming out now are the ones that give me the heeby jeebies. Definitely don’t sound any different than the songs that the churches put out.
When I was a teenager, I got swept up into evangelical fanatacism. I was jealous of the other kids in youth group that went to private Christian school. Meanwhile I had to go to the icky secular humanist public school.
Evolution? Gross!
@@DarthMagog Exactly.
Man I feel so bad for Sean,have you ever thought in trying to find him?
Been working on it, just ran into a couple logistical issues
@@DarthMagog I hope you can find him one day, best of luck 👍🏻
Hi , I have never been a jw ( I am a practicing Catholic) but I love your videos, especially the whole Star Wars thing
Same here, pimo catholic. It's not the same beliefs but close enough to comprehend and learn from.
Hey I appreciate the solidarity 💙 Glad you like the vids
Thank you so much, Lord Magog, for sharing your story with the world!
i know it could not have been easy, but you're a good person and i'm sure doing so will help many people 😊
Btw, have you heard of/met @ExJWCaleb here on youtube? Only asking cuz i watch both of you and it's really nice having you both to listen to and i figure if i like both of you maybe you both would like each other idk 😅
Anyway, take the time off you need; always remember your mental is important. Like they say on airplane flights, you gotta help yourself before you can help others~
You know I haven't met Caleb in person yet. We've spoken on Twitter from time to time and I'm a huge fan of his videos too actually 😀 I get the vibe that if we had been in the same Kingdom Hall as kids, we absolutely would have been on squad lol.
That was phenomenal! I was really into your story so thank you! Darth, I wish I could truly recover. It’s been years since I was disfellowshipped but the experience of the shunning and loss left me...? What’s a description...umm, fragmented. Overly sensitive. Scared. But a warrior, fighting like a cornered cat. It nearly killed me then. Thanks to podcasts, I’ve been helped so much. But sometimes, when I look back on how religion, particularly JWs and shunning f--d up my family, I get so depressed still. I see the damage they did, the pieces I picked up and the rest I have to let go of, and I think wow. It took me three years to chronicle MY WT story in a manuscript I was close to publishing called The Price of Paradise. Then my JW bro said he’d come back into my life IF I went back to JWs and DESTROYED THE MANUSCRIPT! I don’t even KNOW how he found out about it. So I did because instead of being thought of “as one dead”, I wanted the love of my big bro. But I failed again too. I couldn’t stand confessing my life full of “mistakes” to three big elders and having to write a letter of how awful the world was and how the WT was right and then stand at the back of the KH for maybe a year more of shunning to be “watched” for participation. So I broke free. My life is self-made and not bad, but the memories (PTSD) haunt me. No therapist, unless they’ve been through it, can possibly understand. In summary, your story has been wonderful and I am grateful. It IS up to me to find the “Kingdom of God within me”. No KH. No church. Me. Excellent.
Christine it breaks my heart that they manipulated you into destroying your story. Your evidence of their wrong doing. I hope your brother actually comes to his senses, saves himself and comes back to his family who was willing to sacrifice so much for him. Your strength inspires me to keep going, and for that I thank you.
How exciting to learn the darth magog's origin the lore thickens
It makes making sense of me a little easier.
@DarthMagog indeed it does its an honor to hear your story
PREACH BRUDAH!!!!
27: 29 As an ex-Christian of a non-JW sect ... one of the important aspects of recovering from religious trauma is forgiving yourself for the things your organization brainwashed and manipulated you into doing. I feel guilt for the awful things my community instilled in me ... like bigotry against those different. As the quote says, religion can drive good people to do bad things. Guilt and shame are such entrenched aspects of trauma ... so showing yourself mercy is important. 💛
Cool channel. Nice idea and concept. Wish i had thought of it
20:41 Fitting a friendship forged through Yuigoh played a part in saving you even if it was small given how important friendship is in Yuigoh
Yujo Friendship forever!
I wasn't a JW, but I was in very a hardcore Christian church. I had a difficult time trying to deconvert, there always being the fear of Hell. I hated church, I could never fit in due to being autistic, it wasn't until I watched Kent Hovind that I realized that I was being lied to. Its insane what happens when you actually put research into things. I appreciate your channel, and especially this origin.
Thank you. The research makes such a huge difference. You know something is a cult if they don't want you to read anything critical.
@@DarthMagog Exactly!
Very nice listening to you. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for listening, it means a lot 🥰
Even a Christian cannot brush aside the worship of Jehovah as God. In Revelation 1:5 the Son of God called himself "Jesus Christ, 'The Faithful Witness.'" When on earth as a man he was a Jew, an Israelite, to whose nation the words of Isaiah 43:10 were written: "'You are my witnesses, ' is the utterance of Jehovah, 'even my servant whom I have chosen.'" Jesus demonstrated that he was a faithful and true witness of Jehovah. His genuine disciples today must be the same kind of witnesses, Jehovah's.
John you want to talk about this on camera or are you just getting field service time in?
Why used Jehovah which wasn’t invented until the Middle Ages? What’s wrong with Yahweh for the Tetragrammaton?
It also says god is the alpha and omega, the first and the last in revelation and has Jesus saying he is the first and last also.
Not that I believe the author of revelation would likely have known what Jesus actually said with any accuracy given he was writing some sixty or so years after Jesus was executed.
I feeeel, the force master! I was in until I sent my letter in, after 27 years!😂😂
Yesss, freedom!
Been waiting for this
This where the fun began
From this you can begin to heal in earnest
And who knows, maybe some of these friends might make a comeback.
Never give up on the spirit of friendship,
True, you never know. Working on one or two at the moment.
Darth Magog I submit myself to your teachings. 50 years of my life DF out 3 years of the blood cult thanks to COVID I’m so fucked up so isolated
We are honored to have you join us and it's a privilege to know you've escaped the Watchtower 💙
Episode I: Rise of Magog an Apostate Awakening
So many cool names in the comments, should have let you guys name this one.
Thanks for that and BRAVO!!❤
Thank you for sharing.
I was an only child of a single mother who converted to JW from a doorknocker when i was around 2. My mum studied for years and years but never baptized, she faded when i was in high school. i stopped studying when she did but returned on two occasions to study, studied for a few years and left each time. I thought i was the problem! why wouldn't Jehovah touch my heart to make me believe this was the truth. I thought i was so evil and that's why i couldn't be a good JW. I knew in my heart it was the truth, i never once looked at apostate material even though i hadn't studied in years and years. I was riddled with guilt and fear of Armageddon. Last year i thought i would just look at one video of an ex JW and why they left, from there i watched everything i could and slowly realized its a false religion and i was never the problem, it was the cult (im 38 now). I was freed of so many years of guilt and worry. its such an amazing feeling to realize the actual truth of Js and the brutal indoctrination. Thanks for your story, appreciate your efforts and experiences!
And thank you for sharing too Rach, I for one am glad it never took hold and never took over your life. Freedom for all children in this religion!
Confirmation of so many similar experiences.
Feels almost vindication to hear about everyone else's experience with the same problems sometimes doesn't it?
Thank you sharing your story.
Thanks for listening
Something cathartic I’d like to share with everyone here,
The Tarot cards….
Theres a card, called The Tower.
I implore each of of you to look it up, and explore its meaning,
And ironically juxtapose it with somebody leaving this religion.
Wow. I read your comment and I’m sensitive and got an immediate chill up my spine. Holy cow!!!
Hmmmmm, let me have a look at that...
GOLDEN. Ty my "ex brother"!
😁 and thank you for your support 🙏
Thanks for sharing!
Glad to share, I hope you enjoyed it
Granted, my first thought when setting eyes on your first video I saw, "The Worse Governing Body Members Ranked"...this guy is ridiculous. If I closed my eyes I could ignore the cosplay element. What I heard was the truth.
Here too I heard your truth. It matched mine. I had never heard of PIMO. We called them "Witness Bystanders".
I'm 45. Baptized at 18, disfellowedshiped @ 31.
The thing is I don't hate my upbringing and I still don't watch R rated movies (mostly) I still have never used profanity. I've never had alcohol and still try to help the people around me.
Being a Witness made me strong and independent. It gave me direction and morals. But I was smart and truth was difficult to hide from me. I was a crazy studier and researcher of , "The Reasoning Book, The Creation Book, and The All Scriptures Inspired", books...I absorbed and memorized and when I found the internet I found the conflicts in science, logic and archeology.
I was aimless after disfellowedshiping...but good worldly people helped me find a way to meaning. I have no hate in my heart to JWs. I don't want to change them. To me they are like all the other religions.
I do want to reach out to other disfellowedshiped persons. If you need someone to listen to you consider this an invitation to help navigate your new journey
i may be 4 months late but im finally learning the LOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEE (matpat reference)
POMI is such a fucked up situation. Not surprising that it caused so many problems.
At time stamp 37 06. Not done yet. But i just have to say what a fascinating story. The dynamic between your mother and you as the head of household...
Oh and it created so much unnecessary conflict. And also praise. The duality of my late teens will always baffle me 😅
Memory unlocked the Bible story on tape. But what about the dramas on cassette tape? We fell asleep to the screams of the Egyptians when they experienced the plagues. Such a wonderful childhood
Oh I don't think we had the dramas usually. Defibetly had the great teacher book on tape though.
Is The Beatles' Birthday song considered a rock and roll song? At any rate, thank you Darth for sharing.
Lol that would have been amazing if I could. The only other Beatles song I knew was "Octopuses Garden" so that still carried me through. Thank you!
Armageddon all of ten minutes away lol
This was hilarious but also sad what people go through
It really is. Funny from the outside and in retrospect, but that fear and anxiety is real.
Hello Darth, it's been a long time since I've been on RUclips! I miss your videos and walla, the first one I come back to is the origin story! Amazing! I've been working on myself and part of that has been walking away from watching ExJW videos on a regular basis. They were becoming triggering for me. I'm proud to say I'm finally sober again and I don't mind saying that publicly! I hope it helps others that struggle with addiction that left the organization! Being transparent about addiction is important and I sincerely want to help others if possible! So anyone that reads this is welcome to reach out to me! 🤗
Your story is very helpful to hear and I always appreciate your take on things!!! Hope you and the family are doing well! Don't hesitate to get in touch! 😉 Miss you all! Much love, Deanna June 🩷 oh, yes... I use my whole name now... 😊
Yay! June is back. Missed you good buddy, glad to see you back online too. Totally understand taking a break from the space, honestly watching a talk tends to give me some rough brain fog myself 🥲. Gotta review that in therapy one of these days eh? Anyway, glad to see your journey has improved and you're punching that addiction square in the face 💪. All my love to you and the fam 💙
@@DarthMagog 😉🩷🤜
Awesome Video!👏
Glad you enjoyed it!
You remind me of when I was studying Nichiren Buddhism, which is almost cult like. I had to memorize a prayer and I have the worst memory, I couldn't make it through the first part. (Mind you this was in Japanese and I studied that language) I basically had the worst time and my stress level for me made me mix up words. I still can't hold a Nichiren text without crying because I can't say any of the prayers without having issues. My friend's dad says it's called completion stress, he said all JW have it to a point, and almost as a joke, he still calls Nichiren Buddhism the JW of Buddhism. (I don't think he is wrong because some sects of Nichiren Buddism acts so similar)
Yoooooo, I gotta research this!
Thank you!
You bet!
I have to admit, i almost did not watch this since it looked crazy with the Magog thing. Just be happy you did not waste your adult life in this cult. I was a pioneer pre 1975 . We did not know the history and unless you found an old book or read an old book to find out about 1799 ,1874 , then in the 30`s changed it to 1914. I new brothers who sold their homes because of what the Awake printed inside the cover of every magazine. You are so lucky you have so many years left. I was lucky because I was Gay and had to follow my heart, otherwise I might have stayed in the cult for years or decades like so many of my friends. Sad religion that still suckers people in.
Lol the Magog armor has always been a risk for the click through rate 😅. Glad you got out early too, sounds like you got out right about when my Mom got in. Your heart did you right and took you the right way, and I'm very happy to read that 💙
Thanks for sharing your story, I hope that your life has gotten better after leaving the JW. 😊
Significantly thankfully 😁
Intro was hilarious lol
Lol gotta have fun before the trauma dump.
Missed a golden opportunity to have a man in a Halloween devil costume and a black cloak just stand behind you in this video whispering "do it"
🤣🤣🤣 OMG how perfect would that have been? I needed that laugh after all this emotional labor, thank you good buddy!
Here we goooooo!!!!!!
Now *this* is Apostacy!
Love ur videos ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, glad they're worth the watch 😀
Sometimes we do horrible things, because we think they are right at the time. All we can do is make our regret and shame known, and ask for forgiveness. You have done so now, and maybe a couple of wonderful people see themselves in your story, and old friendships can regrow.
Welcome out into the Dark Side, Darth Magog.
Thank you! Perhaps the Dark Path will lead my friends back to the light of the real world 🌎