As a brand new Christian,, I had some of Dr Clouds writings,, because I just wasn’t finding answers,, I was in my early 30s, and in a church with a very scary dominating controlling Pastor. 7 yrs of that, and husband and I left. It was devastating and we thought for sure we were doomed to hell. Took a lot of therapy and prayer, to heal. To learn. To grow. And to gain discernment. It’s not an easy path, and “ just church” is not the answer.
@@godzillamanstreb524 no I did not encourage others to leave,,, you cannot do that in a church. They left in their own one by one. But we all ( almost all) returned when a new Pastor was placed,,, the one we prayed God would one day send. A complete 100% turnaround. So refreshing. But I was gone from that church for 20 years. I’m happy I came back.
I also belonged to a crazy church, i.e., "only the people who come to this building, at the prescribed day and time are saved within this city". The odd thing that happened, years later, those very same elders were also disfellowshipped and "left the building" themselves. There were many good people who I connected with so I stayed. It was that typical church-control abuse of the 1980's & 1990's.
Hi, I am a DA, in therapy, and you made me realize that I'm devaluing my therapist. She is not good, she doesn't say anything, she should be better ... thank you for making me aware of this. I feel this is important.
Yes. Expressing attraction towards the opposite sex, thinking they walk on water. Until fear kicks in and you start devaluing them or realizing they are not perfect.
This is what I have been struggling to voice in my marriage. My husband has clearly declared ar the therapyist office that he doesn't do emotions 😢.. I'm just baffled as I need lots of compassion and empathy when resolving conflicts that happens. I am feeling very hopeful after listening to dr cloud. I don't feel selfish in asking for my need. Thank you so much de cloud. 🙏
Dr Cloud I have been listening for years and I learned SO MUCH about attachment and software in Me !! Learning and be open to change Now can Only Help Me!! Downloading this Information ❤
Thank you for this knowledge, Dr. Cloud. You have opened my eyes and I’m now able to better understand my software and what it takes / the process to get it upgraded to secure attachment.
25:58 - HAhahaha, totally get-it. I'm CERTAIN I have been that way... But Thanks to you, and Townsend, I see ppl as having a variety of different characteristics across the board, some good, some not, and everything in-between. The Holy Spirit has taught me, through you and others, that there is good and bad in everyone - and God has us all on a road of growth. I may perhaps disagree with you on some point - though not Much, I am sure. But that wouldn't make you "bad" to me- it would make you a normal and regular creation of God. I believe God loves and cares for us all, and is not willing for anyone to perish - meaning He steps up to the plate powerfully - He trains, leads, teaches, and guides us to Ps 23 paths. If we profess our faith, speak our trust in Him - in short, it is That FAITH ("Our Faith") which heals. For it is written, Your Faith has healed you.
Thank you Dr Cloud. I can see myself, in the examples. I long to be in a loving relationship, yet I keep attaching to the needy ones. Which say I’m needy. Then I want to fix them. I heard it’s my attachment style, I need to work on. Good enough is ok. I was raised where good enough was not enough. Perfection was expected or at least the idea of it. I’m talking to a friend of 32 year now. We have both been through Hell and back with relationships. The one thing I don’t want to do is hurt him, or be hurt, he is my friend. Any advice for me?? I have been in therapy for 30 plus years off and on. So I’m open to any and all suggestions. Thank you for sharing this great information!
His book on Trust. I think it’s just called Trust by Dr Henry Cloud- get it . If you can get it on audible and listen to it on repeat you will get more like this and it will definitely help you and your friend. I hope this info helps.👋
Excellent. I have the Changes that heak book on audio, must go back and look at attachment in that. I onky got half way through it first time. Would like u to do more on this topic
Thanks Dr. Cloud. It sure seems like there is a high correspondence between the 7 Scripture examples of types of Congregations or "Churches" and the types of good as well as dysfunctional types of Attachment or personal relation and interactions. Go Philadelphia!
Your needs for connection are conflictual or your connections were always conflictual? No one ever has connections that are fully free of conflicts since we are all human. It's how well you repair after conflict that matters.
When a child has been abandoned by an absentee caretaker, parent guardian sadly it affects all their childhood and adult relationships Yes maybe counseling self care can help but that void or hole in the soul never heals I have seen it Broken immature people should NOT become Father's or parents to mess up little kids world experience like please try to be responsible with another humans life I'm referring to child parent here kids are needy when young❤
At about 18:45 on this episode, just a brief mention…”and then there’s disorganized: it’s just disorganized.” I believe it vacillates between other attachment types.
Thank you Dr. Cloud, this is really fascinating and useful! ... I just read Alice Miller's book Drama of the Gifted Child, the later version she rewrote after she renounced psychoanalysis. What do you think about Miller's ideas? Have you done a video on this already? (I went and searched your channel but nothing came up with "Alice Miller")
11:55: - let me interrupt this by asking... Did you see the recent... DUNE ? ... So... Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is (i think, perhaps)- a perfect example of what (perhaps) you r discussing. He literally got No Good Connectedness as a child. Learned to kiss his father on the lips, and he murdered his mother. So... Yeah - psychotic murderer. To the degree that early experiences step away from what is healthy, is the same degree that ppl veer off. (Don't know if I said that very well). Just my comment.
Daystar is riddled with false teachers and false prophets, causing millions to stumble! Joni hasn’t even commented herself. Wouldn’t want to be Daystar members on judgement day.
As a brand new Christian,, I had some of Dr Clouds writings,, because I just wasn’t finding answers,, I was in my early 30s, and in a church with a very scary dominating controlling Pastor. 7 yrs of that, and husband and I left. It was devastating and we thought for sure we were doomed to hell. Took a lot of therapy and prayer, to heal. To learn. To grow. And to gain discernment. It’s not an easy path, and “ just church” is not the answer.
You definitely did the right thing and hopefully encouraged others to follow
@@godzillamanstreb524 no I did not encourage others to leave,,, you cannot do that in a church. They left in their own one by one. But we all ( almost all) returned when a new Pastor was placed,,, the one we prayed God would one day send. A complete 100% turnaround. So refreshing. But I was gone from that church for 20 years. I’m happy I came back.
My Mother screwed me up and I screwed up my daughter. Now she is an ambivalent Mom..I am grief stricken.
Crazy church makes you fear being doomed to hell. That's a toxic relationship, for sure.
I also belonged to a crazy church, i.e., "only the people who come to this building, at the prescribed day and time are saved within this city".
The odd thing that happened, years later, those very same elders were also disfellowshipped and "left the building" themselves. There were many good people who I connected with so I stayed.
It was that typical church-control abuse of the 1980's & 1990's.
Hi, I am a DA, in therapy, and you made me realize that I'm devaluing my therapist. She is not good, she doesn't say anything, she should be better ... thank you for making me aware of this. I feel this is important.
Such a good video.
CLEARLY I'm going to need to listen again and again.
I have been listening more than five times 😂
@@crecemultiplicateinc2214 ♥️ love-it
Really helped by your big picture approach to attachment styles. I always benefit from and learn from Dr Clouds’ podcasts.
Yes this was really great info!! Thank you for sharing and helping us learn so much!! ❤
Yes. Expressing attraction towards the opposite sex, thinking they walk on water. Until fear kicks in and you start devaluing them or realizing they are not perfect.
Thanks for this. It would be great if you would speak more on this subject.
This is what I have been struggling to voice in my marriage. My husband has clearly declared ar the therapyist office that he doesn't do emotions 😢.. I'm just baffled as I need lots of compassion and empathy when resolving conflicts that happens. I am feeling very hopeful after listening to dr cloud. I don't feel selfish in asking for my need. Thank you so much de cloud. 🙏
I like your Teen Challenge sweatshirt! I am a Teen Challenge graduate.
Such a precious teaching
Dr Cloud I have been listening for years and I learned SO MUCH about attachment and software in Me !! Learning and be open to change Now can Only Help Me!!
Downloading this Information ❤
Very helpful Dr. Cloud!
Thank you for this knowledge, Dr. Cloud. You have opened my eyes and I’m now able to better understand my software and what it takes / the process to get it upgraded to secure attachment.
25:58 - HAhahaha, totally get-it.
I'm CERTAIN I have been that way...
But Thanks to you, and Townsend, I see ppl as having a variety of different characteristics across the board, some good, some not, and everything in-between.
The Holy Spirit has taught me, through you and others, that there is good and bad in everyone - and God has us all on a road of growth.
I may perhaps disagree with you on some point - though not Much, I am sure. But that wouldn't make you "bad" to me- it would make you a normal and regular creation of God.
I believe God loves and cares for us all, and is not willing for anyone to perish - meaning He steps up to the plate powerfully - He trains, leads, teaches, and guides us to Ps 23 paths.
If we profess our faith, speak our trust in Him - in short, it is That FAITH ("Our Faith") which heals.
For it is written, Your Faith has healed you.
Thank you Dr Cloud. I can see myself, in the examples. I long to be in a loving relationship, yet I keep attaching to the needy ones. Which say I’m needy. Then I want to fix them.
I heard it’s my attachment style, I need to work on. Good enough is ok. I was raised where good enough was not enough. Perfection was expected or at least the idea of it.
I’m talking to a friend of 32 year now. We have both been through Hell and back with relationships. The one thing I don’t want to do is hurt him, or be hurt, he is my friend. Any advice for me??
I have been in therapy for 30 plus years off and on. So I’m open to any and all suggestions. Thank you for sharing this great information!
His book on Trust. I think it’s just called Trust by Dr Henry Cloud- get it . If you can get it on audible and listen to it on repeat you will get more like this and it will definitely help you and your friend.
I hope this info helps.👋
So thankful for this information you provide , your a blessing!
This is amazing. Such a good summary of attachment.
Excellent. I have the Changes that heak book on audio, must go back and look at attachment in that. I onky got half way through it first time. Would like u to do more on this topic
Really good. Thank you for this.
This is so great 🙏
Thanks Dr. Cloud. It sure seems like there is a high correspondence between the 7 Scripture examples of types of Congregations or "Churches" and the types of good as well as dysfunctional types of Attachment or personal relation and interactions. Go Philadelphia!
Wonderful thank you
Spot on
I don't think I've ever experienced conflict free connection needs.
Your needs for connection are conflictual or your connections were always conflictual? No one ever has connections that are fully free of conflicts since we are all human. It's how well you repair after conflict that matters.
When a child has been abandoned by an absentee caretaker, parent guardian sadly it affects all their childhood and adult relationships Yes maybe counseling self care can help but that void or hole in the soul never heals I have seen it Broken immature people should NOT become Father's or parents to mess up little kids world experience like please try to be responsible with another humans life I'm referring to child parent here kids are needy when young❤
I did not hear anything about the disorganized attachment style? Did I miss it?
At about 18:45 on this episode, just a brief mention…”and then there’s disorganized: it’s just disorganized.” I believe it vacillates between other attachment types.
Why don't you have a Thanks option on your channel where you can receive $$ most people do..
Thank you Dr. Cloud, this is really fascinating and useful! ... I just read Alice Miller's book Drama of the Gifted Child, the later version she rewrote after she renounced psychoanalysis. What do you think about Miller's ideas? Have you done a video on this already? (I went and searched your channel but nothing came up with "Alice Miller")
11:55: - let me interrupt this by asking... Did you see the recent... DUNE ?
...
So... Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is (i think, perhaps)- a perfect example of what (perhaps) you r discussing.
He literally got No Good Connectedness as a child. Learned to kiss his father on the lips, and he murdered his mother.
So... Yeah - psychotic murderer.
To the degree that early experiences step away from what is healthy, is the same degree that ppl veer off.
(Don't know if I said that very well).
Just my comment.
Sam Vaknin
Daystar is riddled with false teachers and false prophets, causing millions to stumble! Joni hasn’t even commented herself.
Wouldn’t want to be Daystar members on judgement day.