Childhood experiences affect your adult attachment style | Dr. Henry Cloud
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- Опубликовано: 18 апр 2024
- Much of how we bond and attach to others is formed in early childhood. Dr. Henry Cloud shows you how to look at your attachment style and find ways to get to a secure attachment. The attachments we have early on, whether healthy, inconsistent, or toxic, will have a huge affect on you. How do you experience your need for others? This is a critical aspect to how you attach. When your relationship with your needs are filled with conflict your attachment will be unsteady. Dr. Cloud breaks down the contributing factors that lead to secure attachment. This is a big talk, but you’ll understand so much more about how and why you’re having trouble with your attachments.
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Yes. Expressing attraction towards the opposite sex, thinking they walk on water. Until fear kicks in and you start devaluing them or realizing they are not perfect.
As a brand new Christian,, I had some of Dr Clouds writings,, because I just wasn’t finding answers,, I was in my early 30s, and in a church with a very scary dominating controlling Pastor. 7 yrs of that, and husband and I left. It was devastating and we thought for sure we were doomed to hell. Took a lot of therapy and prayer, to heal. To learn. To grow. And to gain discernment. It’s not an easy path, and “ just church” is not the answer.
You definitely did the right thing and hopefully encouraged others to follow
@@godzillamanstreb524 no I did not encourage others to leave,,, you cannot do that in a church. They left in their own one by one. But we all ( almost all) returned when a new Pastor was placed,,, the one we prayed God would one day send. A complete 100% turnaround. So refreshing. But I was gone from that church for 20 years. I’m happy I came back.
My Mother screwed me up and I screwed up my daughter. Now she is an ambivalent Mom..I am grief stricken.
Crazy church makes you fear being doomed to hell. That's a toxic relationship, for sure.
Really helped by your big picture approach to attachment styles. I always benefit from and learn from Dr Clouds’ podcasts.
Hi, I am a DA, in therapy, and you made me realize that I'm devaluing my therapist. She is not good, she doesn't say anything, she should be better ... thank you for making me aware of this. I feel this is important.
Yes this was really great info!! Thank you for sharing and helping us learn so much!! ❤
I don't think I've ever experienced conflict free connection needs.
Your needs for connection are conflictual or your connections were always conflictual? No one ever has connections that are fully free of conflicts since we are all human. It's how well you repair after conflict that matters.
Dr Cloud I have been listening for years and I learned SO MUCH about attachment and software in Me !! Learning and be open to change Now can Only Help Me!!
Downloading this Information ❤
Such a good video.
CLEARLY I'm going to need to listen again and again.
I have been listening more than five times 😂
@@crecemultiplicateinc2214 ♥️ love-it
Thanks Dr. Cloud. It sure seems like there is a high correspondence between the 7 Scripture examples of types of Congregations or "Churches" and the types of good as well as dysfunctional types of Attachment or personal relation and interactions. Go Philadelphia!
So thankful for this information you provide , your a blessing!
Really good. Thank you for this.
This is amazing. Such a good summary of attachment.
Thank you Dr Cloud. I can see myself, in the examples. I long to be in a loving relationship, yet I keep attaching to the needy ones. Which say I’m needy. Then I want to fix them.
I heard it’s my attachment style, I need to work on. Good enough is ok. I was raised where good enough was not enough. Perfection was expected or at least the idea of it.
I’m talking to a friend of 32 year now. We have both been through Hell and back with relationships. The one thing I don’t want to do is hurt him, or be hurt, he is my friend. Any advice for me??
I have been in therapy for 30 plus years off and on. So I’m open to any and all suggestions. Thank you for sharing this great information!
His book on Trust. I think it’s just called Trust by Dr Henry Cloud- get it . If you can get it on audible and listen to it on repeat you will get more like this and it will definitely help you and your friend.
I hope this info helps.👋
Thanks for this. It would be great if you would speak more on this subject.
Very helpful Dr. Cloud!
Excellent. I have the Changes that heak book on audio, must go back and look at attachment in that. I onky got half way through it first time. Would like u to do more on this topic
Such a precious teaching
25:58 - HAhahaha, totally get-it.
I'm CERTAIN I have been that way...
But Thanks to you, and Townsend, I see ppl as having a variety of different characteristics across the board, some good, some not, and everything in-between.
The Holy Spirit has taught me, through you and others, that there is good and bad in everyone - and God has us all on a road of growth.
I may perhaps disagree with you on some point - though not Much, I am sure. But that wouldn't make you "bad" to me- it would make you a normal and regular creation of God.
I believe God loves and cares for us all, and is not willing for anyone to perish - meaning He steps up to the plate powerfully - He trains, leads, teaches, and guides us to Ps 23 paths.
If we profess our faith, speak our trust in Him - in short, it is That FAITH ("Our Faith") which heals.
For it is written, Your Faith has healed you.
This is so great 🙏
Wonderful thank you
Spot on
When a child has been abandoned by an absentee caretaker, parent guardian sadly it affects all their childhood and adult relationships Yes maybe counseling self care can help but that void or hole in the soul never heals I have seen it Broken immature people should NOT become Father's or parents to mess up little kids world experience like please try to be responsible with another humans life I'm referring to child parent here kids are needy when young❤
Why don't you have a Thanks option on your channel where you can receive $$ most people do..
I did not hear anything about the disorganized attachment style? Did I miss it?
Thank you Dr. Cloud, this is really fascinating and useful! ... I just read Alice Miller's book Drama of the Gifted Child, the later version she rewrote after she renounced psychoanalysis. What do you think about Miller's ideas? Have you done a video on this already? (I went and searched your channel but nothing came up with "Alice Miller")
Sam Vaknin
11:55: - let me interrupt this by asking... Did you see the recent... DUNE ?
...
So... Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is (i think, perhaps)- a perfect example of what (perhaps) you r discussing.
He literally got No Good Connectedness as a child. Learned to kiss his father on the lips, and he murdered his mother.
So... Yeah - psychotic murderer.
To the degree that early experiences step away from what is healthy, is the same degree that ppl veer off.
(Don't know if I said that very well).
Just my comment.