the art of being alone but not lonely: how to shift your mindset in tough times

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  • Опубликовано: 26 ноя 2024

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  • @joshshortt9599
    @joshshortt9599 4 года назад +2405

    Ever notice during meditation that your own soul has been sitting there keeping you company and has been waiting for you to finally notice it?

    • @volubleperspicacious
      @volubleperspicacious 4 года назад +73

      What a beautiful thought

    • @porshaland5753
      @porshaland5753 4 года назад +28

      Omg love this perspective!

    • @Emeand33
      @Emeand33 4 года назад +23

      That’s such a cute way to put it :”

    • @Beccination
      @Beccination 4 года назад +33

      Yes! it is like coming home to yourself.

    • @ajokd
      @ajokd 4 года назад +17

      Read the untethered soul by Michael Singer! It goes into detail about this

  • @lekiscool
    @lekiscool 4 года назад +1399

    “Zuko, you must look within yourself, to know yourself, to become your true self.”

    • @joshshortt9599
      @joshshortt9599 4 года назад +48

      Uncle Iroh. Love that guy.

    • @infjqueen8133
      @infjqueen8133 4 года назад +15

      Uncle iroh❤❤❤

    • @xexwxw5538
      @xexwxw5538 4 года назад +12

      🥺the best uncle

    • @yayahicks3829
      @yayahicks3829 4 года назад +37

      You must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.
      I think thats how it went.

    • @plutoalien222
      @plutoalien222 4 года назад +3

      Uncle Iroh ❤️🥺

  • @annel7377
    @annel7377 4 года назад +757

    I've just started uni and my flatmates aren't really my type of people, but they are the only people I can spend time with because of the covid restrictions where I live. I feel like I can't be myself ever and I've been feeling extremely lonely lately, even though I'm not alone. I just want to feel accepted but at the same time I can't imagine being good friends with them. Idk why I'm saying all this, but I just wanted to get it off my chest :)

    • @sanchsthetic
      @sanchsthetic 4 года назад +20

      maybe you could talk to them about it ? Obviously not all at once but do see what you could have in common with them maybe they just don’t know how to make you feel included ;((

    • @volubleperspicacious
      @volubleperspicacious 4 года назад +69

      Hey keep your head up! I've been in the exact same situation and looking back, that year of living with girls I didn't totally see eye to eye with, ended up just reinforcing who I am and what my values are. Good luck! Believe in who you are

    • @annel7377
      @annel7377 4 года назад +46

      @@sanchsthetic Thank you for your advice, it means a lot!! I've kind of talked to them individually about it. I have been putting in a lot more effort in the last week and I have been hanging out with them everyday. However, they are quite judgemental people and I don't like how they talk about others. They don't really line up with my values. I just want to them to like me, even though I don't think we'll become close friends. I'm just not able to meet anyone else because of covid so I feel stuck.

    • @annel7377
      @annel7377 4 года назад +38

      @@volubleperspicacious thank you so much!! It's so comforting to know that someone else has been in the same position! I've been focusing so much on whether they like me or not that I've forgotten that it doesn't actually matter, so long as I like myself. So thank you for the reminder!

    • @windflowerrainstorm6497
      @windflowerrainstorm6497 4 года назад +31

      Sometimes the hardest "alone" is when you're with others who make you uncomfortable.

  • @David-ib8ek
    @David-ib8ek 4 года назад +306

    "THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING AND TRULY ACCEPTING SOMETHING"
    GAME CHANGER!!

    • @metha6279
      @metha6279 4 года назад +1

      👌

    • @nicolettaluongo3359
      @nicolettaluongo3359 4 года назад +1

      Hi David, you’re right... there’s a difference between knowing something and believing something...
      I believe that I‘m alone? Or I know that I’m alone?

    • @Tina_45
      @Tina_45 3 года назад +2

      All i have to say is u nailed it 👍🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻

    • @David-ib8ek
      @David-ib8ek 3 года назад +3

      @@Tina_45 Actually she nailed it, I'm just quoting what she said that resonated with me the most.

    • @David-ib8ek
      @David-ib8ek 3 года назад +2

      @@nicolettaluongo3359 I recently realized that our bodies, our minds and even our five senses help give the illusion that we are alone. We can express ourselves and choose individually but ultimately we are all connected at source energetically. As I like to put it "We are all expressions of the one consciousness"

  • @fondalilly
    @fondalilly 4 года назад +751

    crying cause this is exactly what i needed today

  • @GlamPatrisha
    @GlamPatrisha 4 года назад +201

    I always have this wise words in my head when i feel down: let it hurt, let it bleed, let is heal, and let it go.

    • @salma3263
      @salma3263 4 года назад +1

      Beautiful

    • @judykwan7267
      @judykwan7267 4 года назад +2

      wow thank you! this is what i truly needed today

  • @JessicaTran
    @JessicaTran 4 года назад +630

    Something that has helped me appreciate my loneliness is pushing myself to try new things on my own. I feel like when you try new things (especially on your own) it teaches you that you’re capable of more than you realize and gives a huge confidence boost, and this can slowly help you grow more comfortable with doing things by yourself. ☺️
    Also, I think it’s better to be alone than to be in the wrong company. Now I’ve come to love/prefer my solitude over meaningless outings with people, no more wasting time here and there, doing XYZ. Loved the video rowena. ❤️

    • @VickiPzxc
      @VickiPzxc 4 года назад +1

      Yessss, THIS!

    • @mystruggletobeadecenthuman5121
      @mystruggletobeadecenthuman5121 4 года назад +1

      I agree with every word in this comment 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

    • @luv.doja3396
      @luv.doja3396 3 года назад

      Off topic you are gorgeous!

    • @pyukumuku-6645
      @pyukumuku-6645 3 года назад

      Like what type of new things?

    • @fatimavillegas738
      @fatimavillegas738 2 года назад

      I recently graduated from college but staying in our little college town bc of work but Im scared to realize that I don’t have many friends, and the ones I do have are either gone or graduated as well. Ive been feeling very lonely and being alone is scary and intimidating for me so every day is a challenge to do things on my own. I also miss my family sooo much and especially my sisters and just having people surrounding me so this video and this comment specifically is really a challenge that im hoping to overcome! 🤧

  • @aliamanzano
    @aliamanzano 4 года назад +489

    If you make a podcast, imma be there asap

    • @mikaelalei3286
      @mikaelalei3286 4 года назад +5

      omg please! i really hope rowena makes a podcast

    • @delucastudios3097
      @delucastudios3097 4 года назад

      the voice is so soothing

    • @shirleyturner7118
      @shirleyturner7118 3 года назад

      Really needed this. Thank you ..this is life changing.

    • @atchrln
      @atchrln 3 года назад

      🙋‍♀️

  • @themedicinalhomestead3337
    @themedicinalhomestead3337 4 года назад +225

    I used to spend A LOT of time alone, I had almost no friends and usually really by myself.
    I started loving it so much that when i finally did have a steady relationship and now kids, it was very hard for me to give that alone time up.
    I even 'mourned' that time and freedom up until my son was well over a year old.
    I love my family and have found a way to adjust now, but it's a special season if you're able to have that much alone time.
    Maybe this could give a view on this from a different persective :)

    • @mayas.5050
      @mayas.5050 3 года назад +5

      Year late but this and what Rowena said is not only an eye opener but kind of a scary way to look at things (I'm grateful for it tho). I am a person that doesn't mind being alone when in the comforts of my own home but do crave intimate relationships (romantic/platonic) and do feel misunderstood more than half the time. I digress, I fixate over being alone romantically a lot but to think about barely having time to myself has made me appreciate where I am now a bit more 😂😅. Family is beautiful and ofc as your son gets older you will have more time to yourself 😄

    • @ijeomaanyanwu4095
      @ijeomaanyanwu4095 2 года назад +1

      In a relationship, I find that the person that I’m with is always competing with my solitude.

    • @artflowacademy
      @artflowacademy 2 года назад

      Love this

  • @mariahcanton8
    @mariahcanton8 4 года назад +78

    A related quote:
    "I believe I know the only cure, which is to make one's center of life inside of one's self, not selfishly or excludingly, but with a kind of unassailable serenity -- to decorate one's inner house so richly that one is content there, glad to welcome anyone who wants to come and stay, but happy all the same when one is inevitably alone." -Edith Wharton
    thank you for helping me decorate my inner house

    • @lily52v32
      @lily52v32 4 года назад +2

      omg I love the quote so much! Thanks for sharing!

  • @abigelita
    @abigelita 2 года назад +20

    I was just crying throughout the video. Thank you for reminding me to feel my feelings. Being in a foreign country without my family and friends has led me to numb again. It's the numbing that snatches away the joy and the sorrows. It's better to feel different emotions than to "toughen up" and just float through life and not really letting go.
    Thank you ✨

  • @kellzbowen9348
    @kellzbowen9348 4 года назад +75

    You have no idea how much I needed to hear this.... This one hit hard, "Loneliness isn't the physical absence of other people - it's the sense that you're not sharing anything that matters with anyone else." Damn. And to answer the question of what I'm putting off that will lead to a brighter future...It's that I've started an art business that had my full attention and passion. I was creative and learning about exciting things about how to grow and how to reach other artists, but all of a sudden it dropped off when I fell into a well of FOMO, depression, and an endless pit of loneliness. I need to keep on keeping on. Thank you, Row! I'm excited to see what else you add to the series. Thank you for your wisdom.

  • @jessicaroyal2870
    @jessicaroyal2870 4 года назад +76

    I hope she knows how many people she inspires and helps. This is a hard topic to talk about and personally I still feel uncomfortable when I reflect back. I’m sure she’s a mentor to most of us and I can say that we are all grateful for her content and for her genuineness.

  • @sarahkuhn566
    @sarahkuhn566 Год назад +8

    My mom passed away 6 months ago. She was my light, the most positive person I've ever known. I lived with her after my divorce. I'm so glad I found your channel. My life is a LOT like yours. Thank you for what you do! ♥️♥️♥️

  • @sarazapp936
    @sarazapp936 4 года назад +32

    I pour myself into my job. My boss told me to take the weekend off. It’s been hellacious. I’ve realized I have very few relationships and they’re all superficial. And I have no life outside of work. It’s left a huge aching feeling that I “work through” by going to the office. I needed this video

  • @chloeleunghy
    @chloeleunghy 4 года назад +34

    i'm in the depths of having an existential crisis at the moment and you worded every. single. thought. so. beautifully.

  • @nehainthebay
    @nehainthebay 4 года назад +36

    “Looking externally for internal problems.” So true and so hard to overcome. I have been trying to be mindful and get really engaged with every action I take. I have noticed that helps with focusing on the present and appreciating what I have rather than what I think I need to have to solve my problems. Thanks for sharing!

  • @JojolinnaChannel
    @JojolinnaChannel 4 года назад +150

    Senior year of high school is actually killing me. I know that’s an exaggeration. But with zoom school and college apps, I can’t stop the feeling that I am just going through the motions.... I want to LIVE. But idk what that even means. Thank you for this, it made me feel a lot better. You just can’t stop inspiring people, can you?! 😁

    • @salma3263
      @salma3263 4 года назад +11

      Couldn’t agree more, I’m going through the exact same process right now. It feels like a never ending cycle of work, and trying to balance school with the college apps and my personal life is quite daunting, but I am sure that it will all be worth it in the end. Please keep me updated, I will too!

    • @JojolinnaChannel
      @JojolinnaChannel 4 года назад +4

      Salma yesss! Glad I’m not the only one

    • @joshshortt9599
      @joshshortt9599 4 года назад +1

      Hahaha. Inspiring others is to Rowena what cookies are to the cookie monster. She can't get enough of it. xD

    • @makennabowens9004
      @makennabowens9004 4 года назад +2

      I feel the same way.. wanna be friends?🙈

    • @JojolinnaChannel
      @JojolinnaChannel 4 года назад +2

      @@makennabowens9004 omg yes lol

  • @melnguyyen
    @melnguyyen 4 года назад +79

    this really hits home for me as a freshman in college. i have been feeling lost and tried to fill this void of loneliness by keeping myself updated and distracted with friends. i would neglect sleep or work to talk to them over video call, or spend hours on social media. it leaves me feeling pretty drained by the end of the day. i absolutely dread being alone with my thoughts. but this video really puts things in perspective. i will definitely be reflecting and spend some more me time. you have been my favorite youtuber for awhile. thank you for all you do❤️

    • @prerza
      @prerza 4 года назад

      i'm now a sophomore, i felt the same way last year too :/ hang in there, and stay true to yourself, you got this 💗

  • @Michelle-ew5fq
    @Michelle-ew5fq 4 года назад +202

    I would be open to some form of community/making friends through this. Some form of discussion or something. I have been manifesting to the universe that I find/make more relationships with people who think similarily!!

    • @catherinemcmaster-christie465
      @catherinemcmaster-christie465 4 года назад +3

      Such a lovely idea!

    • @joshshortt9599
      @joshshortt9599 4 года назад +5

      This is one of those ideas that is so good it makes you say to yourself: WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!?

    • @masha7582
      @masha7582 4 года назад +3

      Great idea!

    • @RitualCat
      @RitualCat 4 года назад +6

      a discord would be really nice!

    • @lily52v32
      @lily52v32 4 года назад +2

      Sounds like a really nice idea to explore!

  • @brendag5855
    @brendag5855 4 года назад +15

    I love it when people that actually went through it and found a way to overcome, try to share what they knew, what helped them, and to help others 🙏😇🌈

  • @Veggiekins
    @Veggiekins 4 года назад +206

    i love and needed this thx queen 😌

  • @PeeGeeThirteen
    @PeeGeeThirteen 2 года назад +5

    Thank you!
    My sense of loneliness increased when I was around co-workers and acquaintances where there was no connection or sense of belonging.
    But then I felt less lonely when I started Working From Home, I'm alone working from home but am no longer lonely because there's nobody around to make me feel excluded.

  • @kanyilelinda3280
    @kanyilelinda3280 4 года назад +10

    When Rowena started saying glitter sparkle, sparkle my heart danced with joy. I'm so happy and hope everyone gets to experience joy, peace, and love in their lives!!

  • @chars4598
    @chars4598 4 года назад +15

    I'm currently a freshman in college and i was looking forward to meeting new people and hopefully making new friends because all of the friendships that I've had for the past 5 years have been so surface level. I have felt so lonely and had a meltdown today trying to explain to my mom how I felt, but wow watching this I feel so much more on the road to healing, as I really confronted my feelings and emotional triggers today. Thank you Rowena for your wisdom and sharing your story it made me feel so much less alone.

  • @kathyvo1056
    @kathyvo1056 Год назад +1

    I'm so glad i found this video. right now, I'm going through the loneliest feeling of my life ever. i feel really lonely and I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.

  • @Goodvibesz222
    @Goodvibesz222 2 года назад +2

    Thanks so much! I really need to work on myself. I am introverted and have been scapegoated by my fanily my whole life. I can't be alone too long or else my mind starts to become my enemy. I always distract myself with television, but on beautiful spring days like today I am so sad for not having people to hang out with. One day I will be strong and put everyone that bullied me in their place, but the first step is loving myself and my own company after they made me feel so unloveable. Thank you so much❤️

  • @ADSCoachSimonB2112
    @ADSCoachSimonB2112 2 года назад +2

    Emotional discomfort and discord is like the waves in the ocean they come and recede like a flow in and out. The other is acknowledging that you probably have to make time to find your place of joy I make time to trail running ride my gravel push bike and ride my Harley. I also listen to vintage vinyl. It’s balance between work studying and companionship

  • @abby-hv6ll
    @abby-hv6ll 4 года назад +18

    ok hear me out:: merch that says “Alone not Lonely” in a cute font on like a hoodie or beanie- it would be so cute ❤️

  • @CassieWinter
    @CassieWinter 4 года назад +6

    Being not alone and lonely is the most painful quadrant for me. I love how you talk about this topic. Thanks for the great video!

  • @octoberrosesaxon8818
    @octoberrosesaxon8818 2 года назад +3

    A feeling only last for 90 seconds. Thank you for reminding me nothing is permanent. Sending love to all of us 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

  • @marilyn3775
    @marilyn3775 2 года назад +5

    i just started this self growth journey and your videos are really helping me. thank you so much

  • @pankreas2195
    @pankreas2195 4 года назад +167

    I still cannot believe she used to be a party girl

    • @noctyris2887
      @noctyris2887 4 года назад +40

      @@iPranjalSinha are you aware that by judging other people, you are shutting their tries down to be a better person. It really destructive, so please try to not do it anymore.

    • @soup276
      @soup276 4 года назад +7

      @@iPranjalSinha Chile luv

    • @princesscaraful
      @princesscaraful 4 года назад +27

      Pranjal Sinha I am in College and not a party animal - so not all people are?

    • @itsjustme.
      @itsjustme. 4 года назад +25

      @@iPranjalSinha You can't judge someone's depth through a screen and telling people they're shallow is just an insanely mean thing to do.
      Also, by saying it's normal that everyone's a 'party animal' in college you're forgetting the one's that aren't, telling them they aren't normal.
      I hope you have a nice day, trying to reflect on life a bit instead of writing stuff like that

    • @Sana-qx7tc
      @Sana-qx7tc 4 года назад +4

      @@noctyris2887 Well said!

  • @shelbymarie3826
    @shelbymarie3826 4 года назад +4

    I needed this video right now! I just started my freshman year of college about a month ago and it has been the loneliest month of my life. I have been having a hard time making friends due to anxiety. I really need to learn that being alone is okay and I shouldn't rely on other people to make me feel happy.

  • @thatsummersedits
    @thatsummersedits 4 года назад +3

    I've been crying for weeks straight every night due to the loss of a loved one and i really needed that. Thank you♡♡

  • @strawwberryyy
    @strawwberryyy 4 года назад +6

    really needed this after following my gut and telling a tinder date he wasn't right for me yesterday - I need to believe that I'm on the right path

  • @TheEmzies
    @TheEmzies 4 года назад +86

    When you're 38, single and alone, it's hard to be positive that life will improve. All your age peers are married with kids and only want to be with similar. Sigh.

    • @g.h.5296
      @g.h.5296 4 года назад +11

      Youre right. It makes me sad too. And everyone is asking why you havent a family or kids yet

    • @hoayeuly
      @hoayeuly 4 года назад +15

      I feel your pain, I'm experiencing it at the age of 33 plus the covid hit and all the restrictions. Hard. Just want to let you know, you are not alone... that's all.

    • @Haysti2000
      @Haysti2000 4 года назад +10

      Everything that hasnt happened yet has a reason. Maybe if u did have a spouce and kids you would feel worse becuase u did do the necessary work to live a fulfilling life. These things completely change your life and you have to be ready for it. Take this chance to figure out what u need for yourself as a person to feel like you dont need someone else but yourself. The people surrounding u have different lives? Ofc u r gonna feel left out, so you look for people who are similar to you. Go out there and try new and different things. Covid makes this harder but it makes it harder for everyone so the mesures ppl take are the same to get to know new people. You can absolutely do this just realize you are the focus of your life so act like it! Always remember everything happens for a reason. This applies to everyone who feels the same ofc :)

    • @agnesskibicka
      @agnesskibicka 4 года назад +5

      @@g.h.5296 I wish you a lovely partner ♥. Another perspective : I am married, 38 but we dont have any children unfortunately. Tried for many years in vain. That has bought a lot of sadness : just me and my husband, what is the point? But I try to live a mindful happy life. I have a channel too by the way, you might enjoy it ♥

    • @BankruptMonkey
      @BankruptMonkey 4 года назад +2

      You've gotta connect to other people in the same situation

  • @sap7924
    @sap7924 4 года назад +19

    Haven't even watched the video yet, am still in the premiere waiting, but I already know it's going to be so great!!

    • @sap7924
      @sap7924 4 года назад

      Welp, I was right :))

  • @angelinakue1085
    @angelinakue1085 2 года назад +2

    it truly is temporary, I felt alone for a while and then I didn't. Now I am back to square 1 lol

  • @annarchi
    @annarchi 4 года назад +4

    As a new grad starting a new remote job in a new city this rlly hit hard... From social media I thought everyone was doing ok and I was the only one feeling this way. Rooting for all of you out there to have a reshaped mindset ❤️

  • @dominiquetheeasyminimalist
    @dominiquetheeasyminimalist 4 года назад +3

    Thank you Rowena, I was really looking forward to your next video! 😊 This challenge can happen at any age, and more than once depending on the situations we face. One point I would respectfully like to add, is to not be afraid to seek help. In my lonely times, I was sometimes able to figure it out by myself, other times I got external help. I feel like we can get caught in the self reflection too deep, and we might not be equipped or have the internal resources at that moment to properly analyze ourselves. Either a true friend, a trusted family member or a professional can open our mind to seeing our situation from a different angle. It’s a journey, and we never stop learning 🤗

  • @stupor_mundi
    @stupor_mundi 4 года назад +1

    I get this. I don't miss my narc family, but I miss the family I never had. But no matter how much I love and support myself that kind of miserable loneliness will never go away.

  • @rebeccaanderson6560
    @rebeccaanderson6560 3 года назад +1

    I think one of the best things about this video is the fact that the solution to not feeling lonely has nothing to do with finding people to hang out with. A lot of videos on youtube will tell you to just find people to hang out with when you feel lonely. But it's important to enjoy being alone. And what if you have no one to hang out with? What if you only have surface level friends? Or no friends at all? If you truly think hanging out with people will make you feel less lonely, you might desperately try finding a friend in anyone who gives you the time of day. Regardless of how compatible you might actually be with these people. That's what had led me to having so many toxic friends in the past. But if you love being alone, you can be comfortable when making friends because you know you're doing it because you genuinely like them. Not because you just don't want to be alone anymore. It's better to be alone than be with people who make you feel alone. And as Rowena says, everything is temporary.

  • @laugravi9
    @laugravi9 4 года назад +13

    Wow!! This was like a gift from the universe. I was just thinking of rewatching the video you had previously made on ‘the art of being alone but not lonely’! Friends around me have been chasing sporadic online dating relationships that I personally don’t resonate with, and had me thinking on relationships, solitude and happiness being alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️

  • @milenagranda
    @milenagranda 2 года назад +1

    I am watching this video as I had a rough week emotionally but this video really helped me out. I’m a freshman in college and my fall semester didn’t go anything as planned from not living on campus to surgery and online school ,I had high expectations for the second semester. The issue is that everything I want requires work from myself which I wasn’t ready to put in. Like I mentioned I live off campus and my roommates are more like acquaintances than friends. I was feeling lonely but now I know that I am not alone. It will take time but I will find my people and find what works best for me. This was my sign to not give up and to just keep going so thank you.

  • @nalaa9618
    @nalaa9618 4 года назад +27

    Sagittarius: Leader, Motivator, Life lover
    - We love freedom BUT we NEED routines to stay focused
    - Afraid commitment because we don't want to commit to the wrong things
    - Too positive to accept the negative
    - Always wonder about the universe, self love and other people lives
    NOW it all makes sense why your videos always sparked smth in me. 🥰

  • @nizu3865
    @nizu3865 4 года назад +1

    I'm going to open my notes and take some notes. This really really helped. I've been feeling so stressed and so lonely lately. I have 0 friends and it gets hard sometimes to just be alone and not being able to share anything with anyone who cares to listen. It's like I have no connection with anyone. Thank you so much. I am really going to take notes from here and implement them. Love you.💙

  • @kristad2353
    @kristad2353 4 года назад +6

    Thank you for the video Rowena. Today is my birthday and I felt like you dropping this video was a message for me because this one of the things I wrote down on things I want to do in my 27th year which is falling in love with spending time alone again.
    Thank you!

  • @Howlite__
    @Howlite__ 2 года назад +4

    All of (mostly) my friends are fake or using me, or don't really care about me they don't really consider me a close friend. I'm tired of hearing "where are your friends" "don't you go anywhere with your friends." I love socialising but can't seem to find anyone genuine right now. It's tough

  • @sanketjhaveri7951
    @sanketjhaveri7951 2 года назад +1

    I needed the heck out of this video , genuinely A BIG Thanks😊

  • @Ebichumoonberry
    @Ebichumoonberry 4 года назад +2

    I have always loved being alone. I get along with myself the best. We like the same things. I don't understand when people seek random people just to spend their times with. Even when I am anxious, not happy with myself, depressed, stressed I don't even think about being with other people. I seek more alone time to work through those issues. I have friends and love spending quality time with them. But not to escape my loneliness.

  • @christellemonema8581
    @christellemonema8581 4 года назад +1

    I am constantly surrounded by family but there were times where I felt so lonely. Now I am at peace and even enjoy my own company. Its all about healing properly and being at peace with yourself. Love the video. Your content allows me to put my crazy life in order. Keep up the good work

  • @simsimran
    @simsimran 4 года назад +2

    i have graduated uni and atm i am feeling all over the place. Today i went on a hike after 2 months of pretty much being inside and i felt so much better

  • @brightnesslight542
    @brightnesslight542 Год назад +1

    ممنونه كثير انتي شجاعة لتكلمك واضهارك نسختك القديمة وهذا يعني أنك تحبيها وتقدريها ❤
    I feel I lack something , I need a person to full me , share my moments of life , be enough with just being yourself (l am accepting this part as much as I can its temporary)🍒
    Gracias por todo. Soy de Irak ( estoy aprendiendo mi nuevo idioma)

  • @nipkadishshamoh245
    @nipkadishshamoh245 4 года назад +1

    ❤️❤️❤️rings true... everything that I’ve needed to hear. Mom died 12 years ago and I drank the pain away. Recent breakup brings back this devastating loneliness again... befriending yourself is great advice ❤️

    • @user-ek2st5xg8y
      @user-ek2st5xg8y 4 года назад +1

      I believe that you can get through this, I wish you a lot of strength for the coming time! Remember what she said, everything is temporary and you will overcome this period of grief and loneliness and you will be giving yourself strength and be better again! Sending lots of love to you! ❤

  • @g.h.5296
    @g.h.5296 4 года назад +3

    To be alone is better than fake friends!!!

  • @aarushisharma9177
    @aarushisharma9177 4 года назад +1

    so i dropped out of medical school last year, i was studying in the Czech Republic for a year and I stayed in Dubai for my whole life before that. I dropped out, moved back home with my parents and started to study law. I was 19 at the time. Before that, I was always the kind of person that made friends easily, quickly and was always able to find and maintain friendships quite easily. However, when i moved back I couldn't do that. All of a sudden I was confronted with this loneliness, a feeling very alien to me. I was going through a lot but I genuinely fell in love with myself over time, became a much better and honest person, protected myself from people who hurt me, listened to myself, learnt how to self soothe and believe in myself and motivate myself. I learnt the most about myself when I didn't have other people around to dilute my process, I still have connections with very few people, most of them don't even live here but the spaces that are empty now, i am really waiting to meet the right people who care for me as much as i care for them to fill these spaces. Old me would allow anyone and everyone in my space but rn i am just waiting to meet people on my wavelength, or in the least, true friends. I feel lonely from time to time, sometimes i feel like this feeling will never end, but i remind myself that nothing lasts forever and maybe someday i will meet my tribe that value and cherish my love and friendship as much as i love and cherish their friendship. I am also of the belief that whatever i am going through right now is making me stronger and is for my highest good. To whoever is reading this, you're lovely and i hope you will be happy someday xoxo

  • @cassiemabrey6128
    @cassiemabrey6128 4 года назад +2

    Thank you. I am currently going through a lot as a college freshman, having the need to be a perfect daughter and sister, and trying my best for myself it just feels so overwhelming and I felt so lonely because I felt like my family does not want me around and I don’t have any friends. I really needed this I’m going to start my journey today. Thank you

  • @cindybunbuns
    @cindybunbuns 4 года назад +9

    hello early once again 🤎 thank you for always putting out content that actually help me push through what I’m going through with depression anxiety and thank you for being an inspiration to me. Love you and thank you for your encouragement to continue with my own channel too I really appreciate you ✨

  • @ericka367
    @ericka367 4 года назад +3

    The timing 😭
    Thank you Rowena, Because of you and your videos I’ve come to understand myself a bit more and I started to think about my life goals. This wouldnt happen if I hadnt stumbled upon your video which really opened a whole new world of self-awareness, self-love, and gratitude for me. ❤️

  • @nataliedube1665
    @nataliedube1665 4 года назад +11

    I have good family relationships but I don’t have friends or a bf and it makes me feel really isolated sometimes

  • @indigo92099
    @indigo92099 4 года назад +38

    I'm currently starting my 2nd year of uni but still haven't found anyone and completely lost touch with the few I talked with when covid started. I was so excited to start uni and find friends, real friends this time, but somehow I managed to make no connection with others due to my shyness and anxiety issues. I am so afraid that I lost my chance and won't find anyone anymore, especially in times of covid... How is it possible to crave friendships and intimacy but at the same time withdraw from every possibility to get in touch with others?

    • @marihoney3057
      @marihoney3057 4 года назад +2

      im feeling the same

    • @ArissaAyumi
      @ArissaAyumi 4 года назад +8

      Hey!
      Being myself a shy potato for my whole life I 100% get it. I just graduated uni and I struggled a lot in my freshman year until I decided to give myself a chance and get out of my comfort zone (but still baby steps). The thing that helped the most was participating in different associations that were dedicated to subjects I have an interest at - this way not only I started being more confident with my work and myself, learned I lot about many things, learned how to manage my time way better and met friends with the same energy as mine (that today are family too).
      Some advices I would give:
      - University is a great place to meet people but it's not your whole life. It's ok if you don't connect with people at this time, especially right know with the virus. You still have your whole life ahead and plenty of places and situations to meet new people
      - Don't blame yourself for it. Everything has its time and you will find people that will like you just the way you are!
      - Join associations, attend to different events (even online - especially right now), try to work on different projects or activities, volunteer if its your thing. It is a greeeat way to meet new people with similar interests and it's also a great way to learn something new, explore different areas of knowledge, expand your general culture! - Thinking about the university context, look for associations that may interest you in your university and give it a try! Trying something new by yourself can be super empowering!
      - Believe in yourself (that one may be hard sometimes, but will help so so so much with several aspects of your life!)
      Wishing you the best 💫

    • @indigo92099
      @indigo92099 4 года назад +3

      @@ArissaAyumi Thank you so much for your detailed comment and for taking the time to answer! This really gave me hope and motivation for this new semester! :) I've been looking for some associations and activities that fit me and try to gain the courage to start something 💜 Really happy to hear about this positive change and that you found friends you're so close with! Maybe I need to change the perspective and start thinking that there are future friends out there that I yet have to find :)

    • @EleanorLees
      @EleanorLees 4 года назад +1

      I'm sorry things haven't started how you hoped. I don't think you will have missed any opportunity to make friendships. Right now, so many students are in your position and nobody has weathered a storm like this before. I think many other students will be craving friendships too and feel nervous or confused about how to navigate it. Is your student's union organising any online activities? That could help you have that social interaction you're looking for while keeping space for yourself

    • @palesamphatsoe9242
      @palesamphatsoe9242 3 года назад

      This is literally me! I year for friendships and connections, but every time the opportunity presents itself, I subconsciously self sabotage and avoid the opportunity.

  • @carolinesromancereads
    @carolinesromancereads 2 года назад +1

    I hear you about needing to accept yourself and I have also been working on that recently. Thank you for the video! However my advice would be to keep your desire to be accepted by others separate from your own self-acceptance because you deserve to be accepted! You seem like such a kind person. Not being accepted can also cause loneliness if it happens with a lot of people in your life - which it does in mine

  • @apaturairis
    @apaturairis 2 года назад +1

    I really want to thank you with all of my heart. You’ve made me feel very secure and stable in a moment where I feel useless, unliked, or even unworthy of life.

    • @rowena
      @rowena  2 года назад +1

      you are so so worthy of life and living :') sending you the biggest, warmest virtual hug!!

  • @safa108
    @safa108 4 года назад +2

    This video came to me when I needed it the most, it's like you were talking to me directly and hitting all the points i was feeling and how to take the next step to bettering myself

  • @JennSunMoonStars
    @JennSunMoonStars 2 года назад +1

    Hi. I believe in my heart, our paths lead us to wisdom when we are meant to receive, when we are ready for it. Today I found your video. Although this is my first time here, I seriously could listen to this over and over. You have such a gentle soul. This is such amazing wisdom. Thank you so much for this.

  • @eartht0erika
    @eartht0erika 4 года назад +1

    That Jim Collins quote, oooof. Gave me chills. THANK YOU ROWENA!!! This video is extremely helpful, you're a star. I appreciate you sharing your journey with us, this potato sends you a big voice hug!!!!

  • @toriyt2714
    @toriyt2714 4 года назад +1

    Wow! When she said loneliness is when you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else 🤯. That one sentence just snapped me.

  • @lunakim522
    @lunakim522 4 года назад +5

    Happy to see you again uploading a new content ♡

  • @brittanyw8074
    @brittanyw8074 4 года назад +2

    Holy shit this is one of the most helpful things I've ever seen/heard. Nothing has ever been so right to hear

    • @eowyn3869
      @eowyn3869 4 года назад

      Your pfp is so beautiful

  • @alifiaaidila8192
    @alifiaaidila8192 2 года назад +1

    I just got out of a year long relationship and realized that I've been entrusting all of my self worth and loneliness to my partner. It's very hard to find my own footing. I kept trying to distract the creeping loneliness and depression with cigs, alcohols, and outings but man I'm terrified of being alone in my room where I used to just call her and talk the rest if my days away with her. This video helped me realised what was wrong with the me and the relationship when I wasn't ready to admit that previously.

  • @Thisisshxron
    @Thisisshxron 4 года назад +2

    wow thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share your private life with us - i really appreciate that! your advice is excellent and i will definitely use it! thanks again Rowena xx

  • @NicGil
    @NicGil 4 года назад +5

    Wow.. I had a very rough and scary week and I'm still not feeling great, but this video reminded me of the good and made me a little more optimistic about the whole situation 😊 Thank you Rowena!! Literally every video of yours goes into my Self Help playlist.
    Also, I usually don't give a lot of compliments, but I just have to say that you look great! ✨

  • @kameronwitte399
    @kameronwitte399 3 года назад

    You’re so genuinely beautiful, not only on the outside, but on the inside and in your presence, thank you for sharing your story 💕

  • @jessicademara1165
    @jessicademara1165 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for making this video. I felt like I couldn’t find comfort anywhere else and I think this will be able to help me someway on my path out of loneliness

  • @ViviKitsune
    @ViviKitsune 2 года назад +1

    I'm going through therapy and my theripist asked to understand the difference between being lonely and being alone. This video was educational and I am learning for my healing to feel not lonely.

  • @graphiclau
    @graphiclau 2 месяца назад

    I watched this video 3 times up until now and i think these tips and quotes are really valuable. Of course it's not an easy job to practice self-love and learn to love your company when you deal with mental illness into an isolated space, but you are right. Thank you for this content

  • @MyMania123
    @MyMania123 4 года назад +1

    this is my second time commenting on anything on youtube ever (the first was on another video of urs). I just felt I needed to this; I think you're a truly amazing person and I love your mindset and how you talk about things openly and how you've accepted vulnerability and show up for it bravely. Your channel is like a breath of fresh air for me and I'm so glad I came across it in 2020.

  • @sashasatyadev3909
    @sashasatyadev3909 4 года назад +3

    I always smile or rather my whole being smiles when you say"sweetest potatoes"
    You're lounge the sister/best friend I had. Love you ❤️💛

  • @ChinokoShirakura
    @ChinokoShirakura 3 года назад

    Just finished watching this. This video totally saves my life. I cried so many nights recently feeling how lonely I am. So, I started searching for solutions on RUclips. Then I found you. Thank you so much!

  • @carelican
    @carelican 4 года назад +1

    i'm not joking at all, this was the exact thing I needed to hear to change my mindset. thank you

  • @nileriversoftware4070
    @nileriversoftware4070 3 года назад +3

    As a software developer, I would have never imagined that the people in party pics could be lonely!

  • @Carmi15
    @Carmi15 4 года назад +1

    This video hit me hard. when you mentioned about high-functioning depression, I realized, I related and think that maybe I also have that.

  • @archive3133
    @archive3133 4 года назад +1

    queen rowena delivering exactly what we need 😤

  • @BadriyaA
    @BadriyaA 4 года назад

    you allowed yourself to feel. I hear you. you checked in on yourself and that is so healing.

  • @jcm85
    @jcm85 4 года назад

    There was a song that I discovered in recent years that I wish I knew about when I was at the loneliest in my life and disconnected from my spirituality. It’s called What It Means To Be Alone by The Dear Hunter.
    "Prayers from above never answered quite enough, looking up never offered you too much, now the only one you have is you." - There are a lot of ways to interpret this, but this hit hard for me considering I was at my loneliest when I didn’t believe in a higher power, when I stopped praying because I had lost complete faith.
    It took a journey of self discovery and choosing spirituality to be able to be comfortable with solitude.
    “Everything you thought you had you lost” is a lyric in the song, with a very faint reprise playing later in the song Saved, “Everything you thought you lost you had.” I’ve contemplated and cried over these lyrics for years. We are never alone, and we never lose what we had, even if it’s a person in our lives. We are always here to be our own best friend, caretaker, and love of our life. Thank you for this excellent video, Rowena. You always know the right things to say!

  • @artsumeshae
    @artsumeshae 4 года назад +3

    I really love this video. Similar to you, I live alone by choice. Personally I love it, but lately due to COVID and how I'm changing as a person I haven't spent time with friends and I have no significant other. At times it makes me sad, but Ive had to pivot my thinking. Ive spent more time with family. With work, I feel like Ive neglected them a bit. So when I feel lonely about not having friends/bf around, I become grateful for the time I get with family. When I have a partner/family in the future, I may not have the same time to devote to my family like I have now.

  • @jennicadizon4826
    @jennicadizon4826 3 года назад

    Thankyou so much for this. I’m crying earlier about how i feel that i’m so alone with my thoughts and they are ranging. And after
    watching this it calms my nerve. Loveyou! spread the love! God bless you!

  • @sacredchi
    @sacredchi 4 года назад

    its easy to feel very alone with these feelings of being alone. I almost become delusional from my depression and anxiety because I believe I don't deserve anything good, and am hyperfixated on not getting hurt again that it makes me avoid so much opportunity. I think I am being safe but I am not living a healthy life if I struggle to get out of my room. It's so nice to talk about this stuff. Thank you for your time and energy

  • @michellejean5820
    @michellejean5820 3 года назад +1

    thx for touching on this topic 🥺 I’m really going thru it and this is exactly what I needed to hear.

  • @Lyra_Lupus
    @Lyra_Lupus Год назад +1

    This has been the most helpful advice about loneliness that I’ve received so far. Thank you so much ❤

  • @sophielouise9748
    @sophielouise9748 4 года назад +1

    I didn't realise how much I needed this - thank you ❤️

  • @sophie716
    @sophie716 4 года назад

    Minute 3 and 4 just kind of blew my mind. I'm going to watch this video over and over until it's internalized and understood. Thank you so much!

  • @RababAlhunaidi
    @RababAlhunaidi 4 года назад +60

    I enjoyed watching this. Thanks for sharing love

  • @cherrygurlxoxo
    @cherrygurlxoxo 4 года назад

    I am going through a really difficult phase in my life and I think that my main goal through this healing process is to feel complete with myself. My friend recommended this video. and I just want to say you are so sweet, thank you.

  • @incihemmam3850
    @incihemmam3850 4 года назад

    came back to this video to really sit with it and im even taking notes. i have adhd so i find ot super hard to sit with my thoughts cuz theyre always jumping from one thing to the next. i thought it was some bubble i need to burst and really sit with it trying to 'change myself' but now im understanding that this aspect doesnt need to chang. i just need to sit with myself and learn not to be desperate for company or for my phone, i can talk to myself and befriend myself and still have fun.
    its a huge shift in perspective since the moment i rad the title and got excited i found the magical cure VS me now writing this and i just wanted to say it here :)

  • @laylow4530
    @laylow4530 3 года назад

    Your voice is so soothing. Your words gives off a deep understanding. Your reflection & experience is relatable & impacts many ppl around the world. I hope those days when u feeling down/stressed about making new content that our comments resets & recharge you. All the best to you sweet Rowena ❤

  • @gehadabdelrahman3224
    @gehadabdelrahman3224 4 года назад +1

    You don't know how badly i needed to hear this and knowing that there's alot of people like me and share same feeling and thoughts and it's okay you also sat the guidelines that we need to follow in order to get better for us so thank you for the encouragement and the emotional and informative talk wish you all the best ❤️❤️

  • @Lingsandthings
    @Lingsandthings 2 года назад

    I love you so much!!! My favorite RUclipsr of all time. I appreciate every video you make and it’s pulled me out of a dark cloud and into the light. Thank you!

  • @aaioann
    @aaioann 4 года назад

    I've been putting off watching this because it's hard to think about/acknowledge my loneliness, but I'm glad I finally watched. I need this today.