I used to be such a social butterfly. I had no issue talking to new people in real life and online. But I went through really bad experiences in friendships that lowered my confidence and had me closed off to people and not being bothered to make new connections, or to just greet/have a simple chat with someone. I do value my alone time, but I’m really trying to work on gaining that confidence back and not blocking myself from making genuine connections with people, and remember that not everyone out there has bad intentions ☺️
me too bestie. I was a hermit when I was a teen though and I went through my social butterfly phase in my 20s and I think I'm reverting as I get older, and it's definitely an older person thing but I feel kind of ok with it lol
The normalisation of just recording people you see and posting it online is so unhealthy. I just saw yesterday someone posting a "funny" video of the view of their hotel room. It was just someone taking their dog for a walk. The dog was cute and carried a toy. When people pointed out that they were really creepy recording people and posting it online. People started jumping to their defence with "there's no expectation of privacy in public place" and "if I saw something weird, I'm going to record it". Again, it was just a regular woman, walking their regular dog, on hotels backyard. Nothing strange, nothing creepy, nothing unusual, except someone decided to record them from upstairs window and post it online without their knowledge.
“There’s no expectation of privacy” means you can’t stop the people that are there from seeing you in real time. It’s very limited. It doesn’t mean to should expect that someone might record you and post it to the internet for the entire world to see forever.
I wish people would put their phone down long enough to go outside and realize the world is not as bad and depressing as it seems in your phone! People are still riding bikes, kids are playing at parks, couples are boo'd up on benches, friends are having picnics in the grass! Just look up from your phone!
So true before covid it was pretty common in my friend groups to have at least one person who could never put their phone down so I imagine now its probably even worse 🤣🤣
The world is completely as bad and depressing as it is on the phone. I mean, everything costs more these days and there’s so much violence. However, can you go out and possibly make a friend and sit under a tree, sure Unfortunately, most hangout things costs money people do not have, but are there opportunities to make good things happen or to have a smile? Yes. The world is incredibly bad. Let’s not act like our phones aren’t just highlighting that.
@@j.m251 Life is about choices and waking up every day focusing on only the negativity of life is a choice! Finding love, peace, and comfort in the small things to keep yourself and love one's going is also a choice! Maybe where you're from life is terrible but here where I'm at I see a lot more people choosing happiness over chaos.
@@j.m251there are plenty of things in life you can do for free that are beautiful. Even a small walk through the trees or by a lake, paint some rocks or ride your bike. There will always be bad things in the world and there always have been, but life is worth living for a reason.
Yes. No one wants to make an effort and everyone looks at eachother like they have 3 heads and shit their pants 💀 no one makes themselves approachable but that’s also because we mirror what we are seeing from other people
I walked up to a guy smoking a cigar today at a car show, and we hit it off immediately and introduced me to his friend. He ended up being the general manager of the McLaren dealership, and after a little back and forth he handed me a cigar (I'm 24 but enjoy them regularly) and then his personal phone number. You just gotta go out of your way sometimes. To your point, I struck up conversations with a few other people my age today, around a *common* interest, and they acted like I was an alien.
@@digitalcamaro9708 yes exactly. Even when you make the effort people your (well my age) look at you crazy. And it’s so bizarre because humans are social creatures
You can still do that but approaching random ppl is risky bc a lot of those ppl don't want to be approached and if they do engage in convo you end up carrying the whole conversation and then never see them again.
@@jclyntoledoHow is that “risky”. What exactly are you risking? Someone not responding is not that big of a deal. Risk involves danger, danger isn’t someone talking to you.
Because everyone say they hate small talk and the "getting to know you" stages and to say what you want off rip. When it happens, it's "what happened to hi, how are ya?" Wtf do people want exactly because clearly, nothing is enough for these new weirdos.
@@pisceanbeauty2503 I mean I was writing this to appeal to everyone of every gender and also to take into consideration that it's going to be a different experience for people that are in the City versus people that are in Suburban areas ( not including rural because you aren't near neighbors to begin with). The risk can definitely vary and sure it can just be something like you trying to engage in conversation and the person not acknowledging you and walking away but it could also be other stuff as well. If you really think the worst thing is that the person is just not going to acknowledge you and not talk to you then maybe you don't live in the city. Even for people who are just casually walking around that get approached by other random people it can be risky to engage in conversations. I mean do I really have to state all the reasons or can you just take 5 minutes to think about it?
I am very introverted, but I occasionally try to talk to people and they just ignore me. Funnily enough, the people who talk to me first throughout my life, have also been people who would listen to me. There doesn't seem to be anyone like that anymore. 😔😔😔
I had this same thing happen growing up. For awhile I could only make friends with people that approached me first bc any time I had tried with other people, they blew me off or ignored me. I’m less shy and quiet now but I still don’t go out of my way to ask people to hang out. I’m fine now spending more time with just family bc friends are hard to find/keep up with most of the time. Friends will get bored when you’re broke and can’t hang out or they’ll find someone else to be close to so I don’t take it as personal anymore
Yes, I want so badly make new connections but the only places I can go rn are the places my mother goes.Turning 18 soon and when I get my license I'm going to be making connections left and right.Untill then you'll never catch me outside.
To be fair you probably seem weird to them. Stranger danger is also still a thing. If you're going to approach random strangers you need to be more strategic and think about how you're approaching them and starting the convo. Maybe try giving them a compliment without expectations and gage whether it seems like they want to have a conversation or not 😊.
I agree. I don't think it's necessarily how you approach people they just automatically get judgemental and rude like how could you talk to me. Young people need to learn manners and about reality. They all think they are going to grow up and blow up so they are above everyone, but wait until they see reality when they get older lol.
I know the stereotype is that introverts hate small talk, but I actually love SMALL friendly interaction. The hard part is finding people who match my level of desperation, complicated boundaries, unhinged interest, and delusion.
No one is going to hop through those hoops, even less so a stranger. Maybe you can build a core group that just seem to "get you," maybe, but this is exactly what people mean when they say "work on yourself before getting out there." It doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it's a universal thing. Self awareness is step 1, which is good. Also, stop thinking of your interests as unhinged. That's a negative word associated with things you enjoy. As long as no one is being harmed in enjoying them, why are they unhinged?
I think a major part of it, at least for me personally, is exhaustion. Like, i'd love to do more in person, host boardgame nights or cute craft themed nights, or go out and do stuff, but like 1) im broke lol and 2) by the end of the day and week I'm so tired i dont have the energy to go out and interact with more people yk
In my experience, it’s a combination of this AND the illusion of connection and entertainment that social media and phone content (like games) give us. Since they give you such an easy dopamine hit and often rely on interacting with other users, it becomes a really really easy way to feel like you’re fulfilling those social and entertainment needs in a very low-energy way But it’s super unfulfilling, and you may start feeling depressed if you’re not meeting your social and entertainment needs in a real way sometimes, and it can be a vicious cycle. The depression makes you even more exhausted on top of the normal exhaustion, and you just kind of fold further and further into the phone dopamine hole. Or, at least, that’s what it’s like for me 😬
I really relate to this. I work nights at the hospital, 12hr shifts. I have to work 4 days a week in order to get a decent pay check. My first off day, all I can do is sleep. The next two days I catch up on all the chores. Clean the kitchen, do laundry, buy groceries, etc. I have to actively carve time out to hangout with friends and family. Usually, I only have time to hangout with either my best friend OR my partner's parents. To do this, usually, something doesn't get done like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. It's exhausting.
Its a hard balance. I used to work a lot 12hr shifts. Ive done flooring and warehouse work. Right now i work 2 jobs 7 days a week. I still help my fiance clean at home and i still after work will hang out with family or friends when im in between the two jobs or off. Not always sometimes i decide to go home and sleep. But im also used to working long hours like 8am to 3am typa hrs. Thats what i delt with in flooring. It depends on the kind of jobs you have too. The working class like labor workers have long hours and little pay, but if we dont do anything to entertain or relax you will get burnt out working and sleeping with no play or relax. Relaxing is the hardest and sometimes you dont get any rest but that social interaction can keep you sane@MadamPandaHero
@@MadamPandaHeroim not gonna lie I still break down and feel tired but then I remember I'm young and I won't want to do this later so I better find good skills now that will always have my back I'll always have a way to support myself if I build my different skill sets
You WOULD have the energy if you had nothing else to do. Like, now you can take your magic device and in a few clixks you’re getting entertained. If you didn’t have thr phone or wifi you’d much rather spend that time with your friends than doing chores or whatever.
I tried my best as a cashier, but it was so exhausting when I have the smile and converse with 10-20 people in a row within 1 hour during a rush and they weren’t good at giving us our breaks
Same, sometimes I get so busy or frazzled that I forget to say simple things like “hi.” It’s so exhausting because I could say hi to every customer in line, then accidentally forget to say hi to another single customer because my brain’s moving so fast, and then get yelled at as if I don’t usually say hi to customers. I don’t think a lot of customers realize that we see so many customers in one shift. Not every interaction will be the exact same, and they definitely won’t be perfect.
Being a cashier is overwhelming at times. If a cashier doesn’t greet me, then I greet them. The customer can also take some responsibility to be friendly imo.
The connection between the quarantine lockdowns, mixed with the rise of asocial and antisocial tendencies (from simply not wanting to interact to lashing out in very mean ways), the loneliness epidemic, the continual loss of third places and decrease in people feeling connected through community and the overall worsening of everyone’s mental health is simultaneously really interesting and very saddening. This whole situation feels kind of like a messed up social experiment that we have all been forced to take part in and have been living the consequences of for awhile. On a more personal note, over the past year I’ve really noticed how interacting more with my close family and my closest friend has had a noticeable positive impact on my mental health now that I finally feel ready to be out in the world and connect with others after years of isolating myself. I hope to continue that even as the weather gets colder. I also hope that others like me are seeing progress in their own personal journeys and that in the long run our experiences over the past several years will lead to us becoming more community oriented and creating more third places for ourselves.
@@imuRgencyComing from a millennial, I love my alone time! So why socialize everytime I talked to someone I've always regretted it. Also people are so confusing and they Zapp alot of my energy. I love my peace.
I feel like safety is also such a big concern now, unfortunately you have to always be on guard with strangers.. maybe thats a fear I have more intensely than others though 🤣🤣🤣
I talk to people in real life. Especially with me being in college, it's harder to make friends since people already have their own "groups", which kinda sucks. I'm in clubs and activities around college, although I'm really shy, I still branch out and talk to people and it still fails. I'm in therapy but I think it's the sense of being exhausted. I'm working, in college, and focusing on my family. Who has the time? seems so draining.
I’ve been struggling to make new friends after graduating from university in May but I’ve started to put myself out more as of not too long ago and it feels really good to have a social life again. I hope I make some new friends soon!
I still say hi to random people out in public. I get ignored a lot 🤣 maybe they think I’m weird but I I don’t care. It’s weirder to walk by people on a hiking trail in total silence or to buy things at the store and not speak a word to the cashier. I don’t go out to make new friends all the time but I always try to be polite towards strangers and just be kind because I’ve worked customer service and often times in those jobs were just trying to hold ourselves together. I go to church and make small talk with people and it’s so easy there or at work, without making any commitments to hang out with people at either of those places. The only time I’m not talking to people in public is if I think they’re creepy/dangerous being weird from the start. I don’t like to be stuck inside all day anyway, however I have stopped trying to hang out with friends lately bc im broke and have been all year and I’m exhausted after work/socializing at work all day too.
You sound like a really nice person. I love when people say hi to me first because it makes it a bit easier for me to have more positive energy when I say hi. If I say hi first, I sound really timid because I don’t know how people will respond.😂 I have social anxiety and I’m trying to have better body language and make eye contact more. It’s a little bit easier saying hi to older people. A lot of people in my age group look like their cat was hit by a car or having RBF. I’m sure some of them are struggling too so I’m trying not to judge. At the same time, it makes me realize how miserable I was not having more positive energy.
There is a saying i say multiple times. “The difference between introverts and extroverts is where they feel their battery charged, introverts charge by being alone and extroverts charge by being with people. What happened to me is that I was in the charger for so long without emptying my battery, that ruined mine” I really know i have big issue connecting with people but now it got more and more difficult because my battery is ruined due to the pandemic (and i was unemployed) i hope we can change our battery to a new one
As an introvert, I have mostly had customer service jobs and I honestly hate them. But that's not the customer's fault so I would always smile and greet them and help in any way I can because it's my job (and sometimes I make their day and it feels nice). The real problem is that it's hard to find a job that isn't that. I assume a good amount of people don't want to be in those customer service-type jobs, but there aren't many options besides those. But again, no excuse to not do the job you were hired to do.
Same I've been a cashier for 5 years and of course most of my experience is in customer service. So many of my friends and family ask me how I deal with ppl because they personally couldn't do it. I tell them idk how I've been doing it lol it's hard 😅. But I'm trying to look for another job (not in a front facing role) but it's hard since I have the most experience in that😮💨
I'm on the other side of the scale,I literally want to yap, but I can't,it's like my head is empty when I try,no thoughts kind of thing- Why has it turned into venting. (Sorry,lol.)
I literally thought I had autism because of how difficult it is for me to socialize with people... and I've been thinking about this for the past 5 years. Maybe, I just have zero social skills because I have no friends, and it's hard for me to make friends because I have zero social skills. Idk what to do, I guess I just need to practice talking to strangers or something, like more small talk at the grocery store and stuff. Maybe I should try to find a hobby or something, so I have something I can passionately talk about in conversation when people ask "what are you up to lately?" or "what do you enjoy doing?", I don't want to tell them I'm a completely useless person who just sits all day watching videos because I don't have any friends to make plans with. LOL. youtube comment journaling... a classic. I've done it again.
I'm the same, for a few years now my biggest hobby has been watching YT videos and posting comments. I've been trying to start some hobbies again like reading and watching/reviewing movies. It's not a dramatic change but at least it's something outside of YT. Good luck to you~
Bars are not the only place to meet people. It just takes more effort to find activities where you can socialize more. It's not going to be easy. I have social and generalized anxiety disorder. I got really tired of saying “I can’t do it because I’m terrified of people.” Weight loss is sort of what kick started my willingness to get uncomfortable and start talking to people more. It’s still really hard and I find myself getting emotional about it still.
@@LLCoolJ_25 I know it's not the only place but it feels like everyone is too disconnected not just me so even like the gym is useless for socializing.. In my experience at least.. I tried
*stares in autism* O_O i hate these conversations XD as it feels like for me in public places, i don’t meet anyone anyway. I can’t get to the places where people are with no transportation and i don’t have money to go to the places… i think thats the case for a lot of others (especially neurodivergent ones). in high school for my last two years i didn’t make any friends, or in college when i went either. i feel like i didn’t get the guidebook that everyone else got to social interactions. i’m also quite physically terrified of interacting with people as i cannot prepare a script in my head. i don’t know when or the correct way to try to befriend others irl… i dunno, there’s too many reasons to list for why interaction is extremely difficult for autistic people. just my 2 cents i guess, i hope everyone remembers their neurodiverse peers when making comments :)
As someone with a neurodiverse partner and as someone with mental illness, our solution has just been befriending other neurodiverse people lmao. I wish you luck in finding the connection you crave.
Eh, you can start by saying, "I'm autistic and a little weird." with a note of humor when you want to make friends. Most people will forgive and forget 99% of weird behaviour even if you don't say that. People are weird too, it's not exclusive to you. Find a hobby, a role play table, a game club etc.
As someone who has social anxiety and executive dysfunction issues, I can somewhat relate. It's best to find ppl through hobbies or interests if possible that would usually mean find a grp or club. Also when it comes to scripts, it's important to remember every get to know you script is basically the same or you should go about it the same. For me I keep like a list of talking points for this in my head. An example would be first convo, say hi, introduce yourself, get their name, get their age, find out hobbies/interests or passions, ask if they have pets, maybe see if they live in your city or near your neighborhood, get mini life update if convo lasts long. You can also add questions about school/career path or if they're married depending on how it goes.
Also what helped me, for my social anxiety was doing baby steps and also telling ppl about it right away so I would have to spend less time hiding it aka masking. As far as convos, just get used to approaching ppl who dress in a way you admire or have something you like, like if someone is walking around carrying a book you like you can strike up a convo about it or maybe just say something like, "That's a really good book, have you read it yet?".
I try to make connections with people but they never put effort into conversations or, they have their own set friend group or we talk one day and never talk again. I’ve never really had friends that are MY friends, I’ve always been the “floater friend”. Always the one who talks too much but if I didn’t talk, who would? No one. People never really put effort into making conversation so I find it best to be by myself instead of feeling like a nuisance. But being a teenager with no friends is horrible, I hope and pray I find MY people someday.
This might sound very exaggerated, but I’m being 100% deadass frfr when I say in my 21 years of life I don’t think I’ve ever met irl another person who considered themselves an extrovert. I have met an OVERWHELMINGLY high amount of people who ARE self proclaimed introverts, homebodies, anti social. I feel like it has something to do with my age group, I’m gen z, WHERE ARE THE other 21 year olds who actually want to leave their houses!!! like this is my personal experience, but why does it feel like EVERY young adult, early 20’s peer in America introverted? Literally all of them 😭 like dude not a single one of you prefers to be social, hang out with friends, watch movies, and I know as young adults, we are all busy and broke, but I mean it seems like NO other 20-22 year old in America wants to LIVE and have friends! Unfortunately many of us don’t keep friends after high school, but then no one makes new ones? And we are all left with a few acquaintances from years ago who we hardly even text anymore, and we never leave the house. why is EVERYONE introverted.. we can’t all be introverts 😭I recently had to put myself out there literally, and it was a great experience! I was at a local annual summer festival type thing with music, food, games, beer, in my college town, so I went with my aunt and her boyfriend and broke off to get a beer at the beer tent, and I was like ah I lost her, so I’m kinda by myself. I went to a table of people who looked like they could go to the local college, so about my age, and introduced myself, asked if they went to the local college, some did I said I just wanted to hang out with people my own age, me and the whole group had some great conversations I met some really nice people :)) it’s not that hard in reality to do stuff like that. In our heads and hearts it might feel like the hardest thing in the world to put yourself out there like that, but you’ll never know if you don’t try!
I’m starting to crave human touch and human interaction. I have a big family, so I’m constantly talking to them. But when it comes to complete strangers, this is where I struggle with keeping up in conversations or I tend to zone out in the middle of the conversation.
Why should cashiers have to greet everyone if everyone is gonna ignore you n act like you didn’t say anything?that’s a waste of breath.. I speak when they need something that’s it no more friendly bs is waste of energy
At the end of 2019, I made the decision to delete my Snapchat (which was my main source of social media and connection). I didn’t like “watching” people live their lives without actually talking to them. After taking a break from people in general for a few years, I am much more intentional with my friendships and I actively reach out to people and chat via text or FaceTime, and vice versa, and omg it is SOO much better! Not having a social media account to “keep up” with friends is the best thing I ever did. Now I actually talk to them. And if I don’t, atleast I know where our relationship stands. Social media creates this false sense of closeness. It feels good, but it’s not real. It’s equivalent to eating chips for dinner. You just feel unfulfilled. I’m glad I’m past that period in my life.
I deleted my twitter last year and started an indefinite break from tiktok a few months ago. I got tired of "watching" people as well but it was even worse because it was people I didn't even know. Although mentally I feel better because I don't scroll for hours, I never really had friends so I still feel stuck in this area. I decided i'd rather eat nothing for dinner than chips which sucks but it's reality I guess.
@@aielianna when I started becoming intentional with reaching out to friends, I meant old friends that I lost touch with. I highly recommend this if you can. A lot of people love hearing from someone they haven’t spoken to in years.
That's so weird to me. I keep snapchat bc no one has albums and posting a story is a choice that will only show for 24 hours. I don't have a lot of ppl on their but also there's times where my wifi is much stronger so I use that plus there's ppl who aren't near me I talk to and have streaks with. Some of these ppl would probably forget to reach out if we didn't have streaks going. The only other thing I have is telegram and since my snapchat ppl don't want to convert to that I keep snapchat but it is helpful to me 😊.
@@SS-cu8se I switched schools a lot so I don’t have people that I was super close with. I feel like the relationships I did have sort of already served their purpose because I am a completely different person than I was in those friendships. I get what you’re saying but I have kinda given up in that area.
As an Ambivert who is what I call a 'Recovering Recluse', I think the biggest hurdle I have is the fact I'm just kind of afraid of people. Like, a couple years ago, I went to a gay nightclub, hoping to be social, but felt terrified to fo any socializing, because I assume I am percieved as a straight Cis-male (I am none of the above), and didn't want to bother anyone. Thankfully, a more social guy talked to me and there was a small group of us hanging out that night. In recent times, I have taken up volunteering at my local library, and that has yielded significantly better results. I have made a friend or two, will be working tue book sale this weekend, and even talked with one of the head honchos of the volunteer group and asked her if she could answer some questions about what a Masters of Library Science is like (something I am considering). We will be meeting in a couple weeks over coffee to talk book recommendations and what the experience was like. Also, my pertner is (hopefully)oving i. Soon, and I talk to them about EVERYTHING. Having someone physically here will do WONDERS. And I'll have someone to practice femininity with! :D I guess the lesson here is to find what works? I certainly feel more optomistic about my social prospects now than I did before, though I still have my aprehensions. Here's to hoping your girl THRIVES in 2025.❤ Also, great video as always. You always deliver.
That sounds good. Also sounds like you arranged an informational interview which is super helpful for networking or just figuring out if a career is right for you. I did a handful of those when I was in uni 😊.
i am a social introvert and i deal with loneliness. it is now going better, but i seriously hate how nobody around me really asks me out to do something. they are waitiing until i say something otherwise they don't. i'm tired of being the one to make hangout sessions. even if it isn't that then people around my age are just rude and rather stay on their phone. i tried to talk to people even though i am awkward. or to convince them to stay off their phone and talk to eachother. or to ask them to do smething but they declined everytime. i am so jealous of my (way) older sisters and my mother because they where being teens in a time where it was normal to be social. i do need to say that i am an european. we have a lot of homework to do or having a sidejob but this seems to me personal. also people need to stop saying that introversion = being anti-social. also i do have the feeling that a lot of introverts use their battery being empty as an excuse to not hang out.
Its so hard to make friends my age when so many just care about useless bullshit I have no interest in discussing lmaooo Older friends has been the solution.
"Just go outside and talk with people" *goes outside* *talks with people* *nobody wants you around* *you keep trying* *people still don't want you around* Back home it is then 😂
This. When covid calmed, I went out & would try to strike up random social interactions out & about to get some basic socialization. No different than what I did all the yrs before. Was not recieved well at all & had me in a state like "wtf are ppl on now?" Crazy looks, passive or even openly aggressive behavior, snobbery. It's a totally different social atmosphere now.
i don't talk to people because iv ben burned by humanity bullied for being gay bullied for being a type one diabetic bullied for being biracial no one but my partner an a few family members make me feel safe to talk to
honestly, i got tired of constantly spending all my money to be around people and places i genuinely did not care for. i realized a while back that i had a lot of friends i had never been sober around, i had a lot of friends who wouldn't even come unless they knew there would be substance or something to gain for themselves out of the social interaction. i just got tired of being taken advantage of by people who call me their friend
The loss of the formerly suffocating social obligations to be present at EVERY gathering at work or family life is a good thing overall. But I do wish that we had some balance. It feels like people have given in to instant gratification culture and decided that whenever they don't feel like going to something they'll just skip it. But I think they forget that 9 times out of 10 if you suck it up and go anyway you'll probably have a good time. If you like the people going you should push through and just do it. I've been doing it in my life and it definitely works. The only thing bringing me down is how many people cancel last minute or just don't respond to invites or try to be involved in anything at all. Humans are social creatures and we've somehow forgotten that. On a more political note, the loss of community makes it easier for us to be exploited. A workplace where no one is friends with their co-workers is a workplace that management can run with impunity because workers don't know information about each other and they are unlikely to unionise or push back collectively. The same goes for stuff at the local and national level. I know people are going to push back and say that their desire for social isolation is a result of late stage capitalism and being overworked and underpaid. But in many ways the causal link goes both ways. We let them trick us into giving up community for a chance at becoming rich during the Reagan and Thatcher era. We left unions and abandoned community groups for the suburbs. We raise our wages by moving company every two years instead of unionising and fighting back. So in many ways, part of the reason we're overworked and underpaid is precisely because we don't want to make those connections anymore! Edit: the thing about work is also so important. People spend a third of their entire lives at work! If you have no social life at work in any way then that might be how you like it but I know that would kill me. Imagine spending a third of your life doing hard boring work and not even having casual acquaintances to blow off steam with in the break room. Yes work relationships can be more dangerous. But no risk no reward.
Hmm, I’m an introvert who wants to be an extrovert and socialize more which I’m working on doing lol. However I also don’t want to talk to every single person and I feel like that should be respected. that there is just certain people on certain days that I just don’t want to interact. And people who feel entitled to talk/ wanting to interact with other people, that to me is a little weird. But I understand needing and wanting to talk to others.
This intro is 🔥🔥this vid came at a perfect time for me bc I realized I love making new connections so I signed myself up for cheerleading (again) at 25!😂
As a Gen Z I am lonely but not because I’m antisocial. Where I live I’m THE ONLY young gay man I don’t have any gay friends. All of my male friends are straight and I dont have anyone to relate to. And I’m 20 so I really can’t do anything until next year. Not gonna lie I just stay in my room most of the time reading and watching tv. I would like to have a clique of friends but I have too much to worry about. I’m always at work as well. So that plays a huge part in my loneliness. I work all night shifts so by time I go to sleep I don’t wake up until 3-4 in the afternoon then I have to head right back to work. Also being the only young gay guy where I live I’ve had some situations with some creepy old men. I’m not looking for a relationship at all but I would like to have a best friend that I can hang out with and talk to.
Is there a larger town or city in driving distance you can get to with some type of lgbtq+ community? It seems more than ever now there is some visibility in more rural areas.
I'm a younger millennial but I've definitely noticed a huge change in the culture of those just a few years younger than me. There's a lot of antisocial tendencies for sure that the internet and technology have seemed to normalize. Bullying is always a problem for younger generations but new advancements in tech have made it even more easier for people to choose hatred over genuine connection. Forging real connections takes time and I know there are other obstacles, too, but it's definitely true: technology and social media provide such instant gratification, kids now are used to having things now now now and it's addicting. They're allowed to be on their phones and laptops all day, even in school (just ten years ago when I went to school this was not a thing). There is less and less room for drawing healthy boundaries due to lack of regulation and younger ppl are so used to having a lot more that they seem to feel entitled to your space (hence filming ppl without permission, the rise in cell phone spying, etc.).
On your note about folks on the bus can someone tell me if they’ve experienced this too? I’ve noticed lately people will be talking just loudly on the phone, particularly on the bus or public spaces in general and cars are very impatient when pedestrians are crossing the street. I’ll be middle of crossing the street and a car that needs to turn will speed past as soon as I’m out of hitting range and not wait for the turn light to turn.
Ppl have def become crazier on the roads the last few yrs. In my city, ppl running red lights are now the norm. It's not one or 2 here & there either. Almost every main intersection, you can guarantee 1-5 cars (I wish I was exaggerating) will gun straight through well after the light turns red. Just yesterday, someone 2 cars ahead decided they were tired of waiting for the light to change & went on ahead when there was a break in cross traffic. There's ppl getting t-boned left & right out here from light runners.
I’m 16. For 3 years now it’s just been so lonely. I read and stay in the house a lot I do try to go out and make friends but Everytime I ride my bike everyone is just rude or doesn’t walk to talk, it’s hard meeting new people. There’s no place to go to hang, we get yelled at when we’re at parks, or when we’re at a library we get yelled at because of what? I just don’t understand. It feels like it will be like this forever. I wish people wanted to be friends and wanted to talk. I do online to. Shits just intoxicating, all of this
Yes! YES! I have been finding it really hard to navigate college, trying to maintain a relationship with my best friend, and just talk about what I'm going through. And it's even harder being an ambivert and people not always understanding that my social battery fluctuates sometimes without warning, but I'm really trying to make an effort to just talk to people. I just want to be okay really.
Something I’ve noticed with my young adult friends living in the suburbs is that either no one has time or money to spend on going to “hangout” spots like the gym which 50% of people don’t even like to attend on their own, or they don’t want to participate in risky, dangerous behavior
People will isolate themselves from everyone, bury themselves in their own insecurities and problems, sit quietly in their struggle, they are not even trying to change anything and then complain about “loneliness epidemic”. And then when you’re trying to talk to people they will show with their whole being how uninterested and uninvested they are in talking to you. And then you think the problem is you. But no, people are just so lazy these days they find it “so mentally challenging” to even go outside. I understand that not everyone can afford to participate in socialising activities such as gym, art clubs and stuff but people spend so much time online. Majority of internet drama is just TikTok drama. Almost every commentary channel I watch starts their videos with “I saw this discussion on TikTok”… when you realise how many of these problems are not real you will feel the weight lifted off your chest. And suddenly the world isn’t that evil. All I’m trying to say is open your mind! Get help! Go outside! Don’t whine online.
You’ve literally made me feel so much better about this! I felt guilty about “quitting” on people that purposely push me away, but I’ve gotten to a point to where I can only do so much with these type of people because keeping them in my life gets very draining and makes me question my worth. I wish the best of luck for them, but I still need to choose me and accept that I’ve tried!
For the love of god the antisocial refusal to use headphones in public is driving me insane. It’s so rude to force a subway car full of people listen to your violent video games-it’s bad enough to fear actually getting harmed in public which is a very real concern, but having to listen to screams and weapons, or even just bad music and TikToks without being able to even escape a moving vehicle, is so beyond irritating. It’s 2024-there has never in the history of the world been more headphones available for purchase. People refusing to use them are the worse.
Hearing that difficulties with socialising are increasing for young people kind of make me feel like finally I'm fitting with the trend at the moment, as a millennial who's always been super introverted and socially anxious 😅
I'm 25 and I barely socialize, because I just cannot connect with people. I barely talk to my family because I'm socially awkward and find it difficult to express myself freely. Unfortunately, i have to be more sociable if I want to do a PhD, and the idea is terrifying. I love being alone and not engaging with people.
The economy is a huge reason too though. Friends I hang with hang when we do something that is free such as playing sports or something. But to get a group to go out to eat or something is super less common because everything is too pricey
So well said. I agree with every word. I’ve felt this way for the last few years and it is so validating to see the tide shift like this. There’s something to the boomer line “get off your phones” maybe without the smugness but we should get out and play. As a teacher I feel so old fashion because I’ve seen how awful phones and iPads are for learning and socializing.
I love all of the global pandemic and quarantine. I had already established a virtual community group for older Gen Zers, therefore it came into glorious timing. I come from a shrinking family. For that period in life, i wasn't constantly the string puller in my relationships. When i do go out and attempt at socializing, 1000% goes in and I am the puppet master. It gets exhausting . I thought I found a solid group that consisted of two people, but a depression happened, I recovered. I reached out to both just to catch up nothing happened. I think about them everyday. I am naturally to myself in social settings,although my presence is lous, my social engagement is really quite and soft. It can be asocial. 😅 I joined in community based activities, its only been good for that, it never realky turnt to 1 or two people actually being a fruend, just someone I see at that particular activity.
I agree, but I think this is a part of growing up. Idk what it’s like to be in K-12 nowadays, but I assume it’s hella different (im 23 lmaooo). Though, I still think they force socialization to happen for young people of certain age groups. However, it’s just a fact of life that getting older is lonely. It doesn’t have to be, but it comes with it. I think people just need balance between their need for external validation and solitude. The internet is not a real place fr, though, and emulates interaction that is short lived.
I consider myself an introvert, but let me tell you i've joined some grpups and I've been OUT LOL. I still need a day to be a lump, but I agree it's helped a lot.
This Lonliness epidemic is the result of late stage capitalism. Karl Marx wrote about atomization and alienation deeply baked within the economic machine.
I think my introversion comes from always being made to stay in the house in my teen years to watch my siblings.. then you become an adult and don’t know wtf to do because you spent so much of your life raising kids instead of being one
I reject speaking to people that are blind to the reality. They are a waste of energy. The money is fucking broken and people are too stupid to realize they trading with Monopoly money. If the money wasn’t broken than everything else wouldn’t be in turmoil
i think for the first time in my life im not lonely. it took me getting kicked out of my mom's house i had no way to get to school, i didn't have a drivers license and my dad worked hectic hours. i ended up reaching out to a friend that i has grown apart from. since school started we've became best friends and hang out all the time. it's been so amazing to spend an hour everyday just talking.
maybe the internet is so negative because of why we use it. Like, maybe some people are just going through it and they think whatever they do in the internet won't do anything, but everyone sees them being negative. I think?
I think the main thing is a lot of people think that they have to be initiated. And also a lot of people act like texting doesnt matter but its a bit frustrating when i pay 25 dollars a month for a phone bill and the people who are apparently my "best buddies" hate texting.
17:28 I honestly prefer cloudy rainy days and light snow over sunny days. Those conditions may make it harder for people to go outside but I honestly prefer that environment.
As an introvert. Being an introvert has never been popular. Being an extrovert has always been the social norm. While I do see being introverted as a term being used more. Being actually introverted never has and never will be popular. It's extroverts trying to be "different" by calling themselves introverts are the only ones suffering from social isolation.
nobody calls themselves an extrovert so if you are just going by that then waaaay more people dwell on being an introvert. it's not real science tho, u kno.
One more thing that i noticed people ARE NOT HAPPY overall, most can barely afford to even THINK! let alone live life and have TIME to invest in friendship. Living in NYC and n.j im very privileged but most wont do whats necessary to CREATE an ideal life. One thing will always be true, misery loves comapny.
Ill say this im a millennial at 36 and I experienced life before social meadia. My form of meeting people especially women was cold approaching and/or dive bars in NYC. Women were horrible before and i can imagine its MUCH worst now due to the fact women are the ones taking the most antidepressants. I did meet wonderful women where we would have conversations and continue to meet up but it simply would fade away. Besides this most relationship would end up bad because women were so unstable and simply unhappy. My life is perfect thank god, it took MANY sacrifice to be at this point, however i RATHER be alone travel the world by myself instead of living a miserable life. Im glad god is in my life because he has blessed me so much
My issues with socailizing with people come from me being neurodivergent (Autism,ADHD AND OCD) the only time i'm oit being looked down upon or bullied for simply being who I am is when im around other nuerodivergent people and I'm saying this as some who finally found some Autistic friends when I turned 18 so yeah I was a lonely kind for the first 17 years of my life.
It's not like I don't talk to people at all but I always feel like people are judging me. I feel like a loser when I'm just out and about by myself and see a group of people my age together. Happend more than once that they just kind of snickered at me for whatever reason, I'm already so insecure about my looks eventhough I don't look particularly ugly. I try to telll myself that it's all in my head and then something happens that proves to me that other people ARE judging me, it's humiliating.
This is why I put an active effort into talking to strangers. Met my bf irl bc I went to a concert alone! We ended up being next to each other in line, and I usually make an effort to speak to people I line up with. It can be natural and easy, I know it sounds hard, and I've been through a HELL OF A LOT (and I'm autistic), so trust me I know, but you really do need to put yourself out there. Learn about yourself and curate your experience to reflect that.
I feel like casual acquaintance-ships just don't exist for gen z . Every social interaction seems to be extremely loaded by the weight of making a good impression, and the consequences really are dire. Getting talked about on the national news because you tripped or laugh weirdly shouldn't be a consequence of going outside. There's also a gap in social education that can only partially be blamed on the pandemic. Gen z is the first generation fully raised under constant supervision. The late millennial children of helicopter parents were the first wave in the 10s. We're seeing full scale repercussions now in gen z, and it won't look so great for gen alpha either. I say all of this as a millennial with cptsd caused (in part) by hyper surveillance in my childhood. What was uncommon in my 20s seems to be standard now, and knowing how hard it is to work through... it's going to be tough on a societal level.
I don’t know how to socialize because I’ve been an introvert, and I’ve been around too many shitty people so I don’t trust anyone. I’m pretty sure I’m autistic misdiagnosed with BPD.
The people we’ve tried to have as friends (we’ve made the efforts and plans, but at this point we don’t care who stays and who goes) socially and online: 1 tried to manipulate, harass, stalk, and blackmail my wife 1 spread rumors, manipulated, belittled, and sent a bogus cease and desist to threaten 1 flipped, bullied, manipulated, and gossiped 1 threatened, gaslit, and ghosted 1 gaslit, spread rumors, manipulated friendships, held titles over heads, deflected and projected as a narcissist 1 (closest) started receiving pictures from my ex (while he was in a relationship) that was stalking us from a different state than him for information about my family, turned when confronted, said terrible things, and wished the worst on our family. Haven’t spoken to since years later 1 only asked to hang and do thing when it fit them 🤷♂️ We’ve tried it, but people just ain’t built the same anymore smfh
Im a millennial... Didn't get my first smartphone till like 2014, Used to talk to people face to face... Still do, Don't have tik tok, Instagram or twitter .. I have never been lonely... I have had the same buddies from primary school and im now in my 30s... When did the world 🌎 become so weird.
I mean... can you blame us the world is messed up this environment is just bad. From my experience it's like there probably is no point of life anymore. Currently I'm 20. Not in college, no job. I'm still at home, but I'm trying to figure out what im going to do. I want to find what I want to do in life along with making friends, but I can't do that because of my very bad anxiety, and that's due to my past experiences with other people. Bad friendships, bad relationships, treated like garbage by people and teachers. Been harrassed by random people. Recent years had been sh*t because of money being low. Holidays aren't even fun anymore.
for me it’s more so about finding the right people who are goal oriented and striving for something rather then discussing pointless drama and bs. Im 17 and in my last year of hs and back in elementary and middle school I use to be so social and talkative but I guess people got annoyed and other events just lead up to me not being social anymore and just being a recluse with only a few friends and acquaintances. i am however slowly regaining social skills and the confidence to just walk up to people and strike a convo but it’ll take time but then again though I do prefer being introverted with only a few people in my circle….
In the midwest the young kids working in customer service won't say a word. It's extremely awkward and ruins the vibe especially when the customer is talking to them and they don't respond. Grow some cajones and say hello. It's not hard.
Technology has a lot to do with it, but the larger pull in the last decade has been political. Not being able to trust people next to you/give people a chance, because one political comment could lead south quick and personally I found my person, and we hunkered down together. We hang out with a couple people every now and then, but nearly never in a large group setting. We’ve tried it, but people tend to be foul, unfortunately I worked cable for 3 years, and nearly lost the ability to talk to people in general. 3 years of the same small talk at each house, having to dodge personal/political questions since I’m in someone’s house for an hour+, and hostility of the social climate in general. Have felt I need to read a book or something, but just haven’t given it the time 🤷♂️
It’s more frustrating when you’re physically disabled and you honestly feel like a bit of an outsider growing up. I had a lot of orthopedic surgeries and I was homeschooled due to anti-vaccine parents because my respiratory system is shit. Socializing feels rather confusing to me. I feel like I’m always reaching out to people and people don’t really put an effort into reaching out to me first. And it makes me feel like I’m bothering people and they hate me and are mad at me. I don’t really get invited anywhere and it honestly made me cry sometimes. But I can’t say anything because I don’t want people to hang out with me due to pity. This is why I hate it when people say “let’s hang out sometime “ but they don’t mean it. Especially after the pandemic where I couldn’t do anything. (Please don’t treat people like this). And I don’t think it’s really projection to say that it’s partly other people’s fault for lack of social skills because socialization is a 2 way street. If you’re not making an effort to engage with people and invite them to things, you are not really sending a positive signal that you like this person even if they’re a little odd.
My prevideo opinion: ummm other countries dont care abt cashiers smiling at them - or standing. Theyre allowed to just do their fucking job and leave! I think thats totally fine, dont expect min wage workers to be happy at their daily exploitation 😮
You know what- there's a concept of "dummy school" in my country for last two years of school. In this system, I don't need to go to school but rather study via some other institution in order to study for just examinations. Obviously it's fine for that top 5% students that aren't interested in sports and other extra activities but the problem arises when someone copies them and choses a dummy school for themselves. this happens at the age of 15-18~19 . Here, the problem is that at the time of your life where you're supposed to create the bonds forever in your life, you're instead in your home or most probably in a library - just taking input and puting it out in tests. You don't have anyone to be "new friends" because you left the school and most probably no time to hang out/chill with your existing mates because every week you're having a mock test. It's not like even if you get into just the prestigious university, your life will be good- you'll be left with no friends, not much physical activity and become trapped in constant cycle of just studying. Don't take these kinda options if you're NOT in the 4-5%.
I DO talk to people and strike up conversations, but every time I try, people look at me like *I'm* the weird one.
Me too!
As someone who suffered from autism, this hits the spot. Like I'm the weird one for opening up.
those are the bad apples don’t let them paint us all bad ❤
Same here!
SAY IT LOUDER.
I used to be such a social butterfly. I had no issue talking to new people in real life and online. But I went through really bad experiences in friendships that lowered my confidence and had me closed off to people and not being bothered to make new connections, or to just greet/have a simple chat with someone.
I do value my alone time, but I’m really trying to work on gaining that confidence back and not blocking myself from making genuine connections with people, and remember that not everyone out there has bad intentions ☺️
Literally same for me everything you've said😔
super relatable
Same. 😭
me too bestie. I was a hermit when I was a teen though and I went through my social butterfly phase in my 20s and I think I'm reverting as I get older, and it's definitely an older person thing but I feel kind of ok with it lol
@@wellbuttermybiscuits7
The normalisation of just recording people you see and posting it online is so unhealthy. I just saw yesterday someone posting a "funny" video of the view of their hotel room. It was just someone taking their dog for a walk. The dog was cute and carried a toy. When people pointed out that they were really creepy recording people and posting it online. People started jumping to their defence with "there's no expectation of privacy in public place" and "if I saw something weird, I'm going to record it". Again, it was just a regular woman, walking their regular dog, on hotels backyard. Nothing strange, nothing creepy, nothing unusual, except someone decided to record them from upstairs window and post it online without their knowledge.
Please continue to call these weirdos out! This behavior is simply unacceptable 🙄
“There’s no expectation of privacy” means you can’t stop the people that are there from seeing you in real time. It’s very limited. It doesn’t mean to should expect that someone might record you and post it to the internet for the entire world to see forever.
I wish people would put their phone down long enough to go outside and realize the world is not as bad and depressing as it seems in your phone! People are still riding bikes, kids are playing at parks, couples are boo'd up on benches, friends are having picnics in the grass! Just look up from your phone!
So true before covid it was pretty common in my friend groups to have at least one person who could never put their phone down so I imagine now its probably even worse 🤣🤣
The world is completely as bad and depressing as it is on the phone. I mean, everything costs more these days and there’s so much violence.
However, can you go out and possibly make a friend and sit under a tree, sure
Unfortunately, most hangout things costs money people do not have, but are there opportunities to make good things happen or to have a smile? Yes.
The world is incredibly bad. Let’s not act like our phones aren’t just highlighting that.
You sound jobless
@@j.m251 Life is about choices and waking up every day focusing on only the negativity of life is a choice! Finding love, peace, and comfort in the small things to keep yourself and love one's going is also a choice! Maybe where you're from life is terrible but here where I'm at I see a lot more people choosing happiness over chaos.
@@j.m251there are plenty of things in life you can do for free that are beautiful. Even a small walk through the trees or by a lake, paint some rocks or ride your bike. There will always be bad things in the world and there always have been, but life is worth living for a reason.
It's so hard in this generation because no one wants to make an effort
And because we don't trust each other
Yes. No one wants to make an effort and everyone looks at eachother like they have 3 heads and shit their pants 💀 no one makes themselves approachable but that’s also because we mirror what we are seeing from other people
This! Ppl don't want to make the effort, they want the relationships that require time and effort but don't want to put in the work.
I walked up to a guy smoking a cigar today at a car show, and we hit it off immediately and introduced me to his friend. He ended up being the general manager of the McLaren dealership, and after a little back and forth he handed me a cigar (I'm 24 but enjoy them regularly) and then his personal phone number. You just gotta go out of your way sometimes.
To your point, I struck up conversations with a few other people my age today, around a *common* interest, and they acted like I was an alien.
@@digitalcamaro9708 yes exactly. Even when you make the effort people your (well my age) look at you crazy. And it’s so bizarre because humans are social creatures
What ever happened to hello, how are you, my name is? What happened to that??
What are you, some kind of freak?? 😝
You can still do that but approaching random ppl is risky bc a lot of those ppl don't want to be approached and if they do engage in convo you end up carrying the whole conversation and then never see them again.
@@jclyntoledoHow is that “risky”. What exactly are you risking? Someone not responding is not that big of a deal. Risk involves danger, danger isn’t someone talking to you.
Because everyone say they hate small talk and the "getting to know you" stages and to say what you want off rip. When it happens, it's "what happened to hi, how are ya?"
Wtf do people want exactly because clearly, nothing is enough for these new weirdos.
@@pisceanbeauty2503 I mean I was writing this to appeal to everyone of every gender and also to take into consideration that it's going to be a different experience for people that are in the City versus people that are in Suburban areas ( not including rural because you aren't near neighbors to begin with). The risk can definitely vary and sure it can just be something like you trying to engage in conversation and the person not acknowledging you and walking away but it could also be other stuff as well. If you really think the worst thing is that the person is just not going to acknowledge you and not talk to you then maybe you don't live in the city. Even for people who are just casually walking around that get approached by other random people it can be risky to engage in conversations. I mean do I really have to state all the reasons or can you just take 5 minutes to think about it?
I am very introverted, but I occasionally try to talk to people and they just ignore me. Funnily enough, the people who talk to me first throughout my life, have also been people who would listen to me.
There doesn't seem to be anyone like that anymore. 😔😔😔
I had this same thing happen growing up. For awhile
I could only make friends with people that approached me first bc any time I had tried with other people, they blew me off or ignored me. I’m less shy and quiet now but I still don’t go out of my way to ask people to hang out. I’m fine now spending more time with just family bc friends are hard to find/keep up with most of the time. Friends will get bored when you’re broke and can’t hang out or they’ll find someone else to be close to so I don’t take it as personal anymore
@@fallenpieces7 I don't have family. They're all dead. I'm literally alone.
@@TaraTara-ld2xb I’m sorry to hear that!
How about we talk, anything that makes you smile now and again?
The problem is the people are not usually in their desired communities & don't have the means of getting there
yea this ,_,
Yes, I want so badly make new connections but the only places I can go rn are the places my mother goes.Turning 18 soon and when I get my license I'm going to be making connections left and right.Untill then you'll never catch me outside.
get new hobbies, be shaped by the people around you idk
@@deepstblu3saaaame 😂 wish us luck
My broke azz can't get a car and I live in the suburbs with family, so this hits deep.
The problem is people automatically deeming you to be "weird" when you try to talk to them.
To be fair you probably seem weird to them. Stranger danger is also still a thing. If you're going to approach random strangers you need to be more strategic and think about how you're approaching them and starting the convo. Maybe try giving them a compliment without expectations and gage whether it seems like they want to have a conversation or not 😊.
Another suggestion is to get a dog then you'll start getting approached more by ppl.
I agree. I don't think it's necessarily how you approach people they just automatically get judgemental and rude like how could you talk to me. Young people need to learn manners and about reality. They all think they are going to grow up and blow up so they are above everyone, but wait until they see reality when they get older lol.
yes, especially if they're in a group and you're alone, it's scary
I know the stereotype is that introverts hate small talk, but I actually love SMALL friendly interaction. The hard part is finding people who match my level of desperation, complicated boundaries, unhinged interest, and delusion.
exactly
Real 😭
So real honestly
No one is going to hop through those hoops, even less so a stranger. Maybe you can build a core group that just seem to "get you," maybe, but this is exactly what people mean when they say "work on yourself before getting out there." It doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it's a universal thing. Self awareness is step 1, which is good. Also, stop thinking of your interests as unhinged. That's a negative word associated with things you enjoy. As long as no one is being harmed in enjoying them, why are they unhinged?
@@orangemc9358Exactly! Like nothing they said would sound attractive to a stranger to want to stop and have an actual convo.
I think a major part of it, at least for me personally, is exhaustion. Like, i'd love to do more in person, host boardgame nights or cute craft themed nights, or go out and do stuff, but like 1) im broke lol and 2) by the end of the day and week I'm so tired i dont have the energy to go out and interact with more people yk
In my experience, it’s a combination of this AND the illusion of connection and entertainment that social media and phone content (like games) give us.
Since they give you such an easy dopamine hit and often rely on interacting with other users, it becomes a really really easy way to feel like you’re fulfilling those social and entertainment needs in a very low-energy way
But it’s super unfulfilling, and you may start feeling depressed if you’re not meeting your social and entertainment needs in a real way sometimes, and it can be a vicious cycle. The depression makes you even more exhausted on top of the normal exhaustion, and you just kind of fold further and further into the phone dopamine hole.
Or, at least, that’s what it’s like for me 😬
I really relate to this. I work nights at the hospital, 12hr shifts. I have to work 4 days a week in order to get a decent pay check. My first off day, all I can do is sleep. The next two days I catch up on all the chores. Clean the kitchen, do laundry, buy groceries, etc. I have to actively carve time out to hangout with friends and family. Usually, I only have time to hangout with either my best friend OR my partner's parents. To do this, usually, something doesn't get done like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. It's exhausting.
Its a hard balance. I used to work a lot 12hr shifts. Ive done flooring and warehouse work. Right now i work 2 jobs 7 days a week. I still help my fiance clean at home and i still after work will hang out with family or friends when im in between the two jobs or off. Not always sometimes i decide to go home and sleep. But im also used to working long hours like 8am to 3am typa hrs. Thats what i delt with in flooring. It depends on the kind of jobs you have too. The working class like labor workers have long hours and little pay, but if we dont do anything to entertain or relax you will get burnt out working and sleeping with no play or relax. Relaxing is the hardest and sometimes you dont get any rest but that social interaction can keep you sane@MadamPandaHero
@@MadamPandaHeroim not gonna lie I still break down and feel tired but then I remember I'm young and I won't want to do this later so I better find good skills now that will always have my back I'll always have a way to support myself if I build my different skill sets
You WOULD have the energy if you had nothing else to do. Like, now you can take your magic device and in a few clixks you’re getting entertained. If you didn’t have thr phone or wifi you’d much rather spend that time with your friends than doing chores or whatever.
I tried my best as a cashier, but it was so exhausting when I have the smile and converse with 10-20 people in a row within 1 hour during a rush and they weren’t good at giving us our breaks
Same, sometimes I get so busy or frazzled that I forget to say simple things like “hi.” It’s so exhausting because I could say hi to every customer in line, then accidentally forget to say hi to another single customer because my brain’s moving so fast, and then get yelled at as if I don’t usually say hi to customers. I don’t think a lot of customers realize that we see so many customers in one shift. Not every interaction will be the exact same, and they definitely won’t be perfect.
@@goodgrieficarus1217 exactlyyyy
For real. I try at minimum great everyone but some days I'm just tired and may forget to say hi.
Being a cashier is overwhelming at times. If a cashier doesn’t greet me, then I greet them. The customer can also take some responsibility to be friendly imo.
I also did this but you know I am getting paid so I have to smile.
The connection between the quarantine lockdowns, mixed with the rise of asocial and antisocial tendencies (from simply not wanting to interact to lashing out in very mean ways), the loneliness epidemic, the continual loss of third places and decrease in people feeling connected through community and the overall worsening of everyone’s mental health is simultaneously really interesting and very saddening. This whole situation feels kind of like a messed up social experiment that we have all been forced to take part in and have been living the consequences of for awhile.
On a more personal note, over the past year I’ve really noticed how interacting more with my close family and my closest friend has had a noticeable positive impact on my mental health now that I finally feel ready to be out in the world and connect with others after years of isolating myself. I hope to continue that even as the weather gets colder. I also hope that others like me are seeing progress in their own personal journeys and that in the long run our experiences over the past several years will lead to us becoming more community oriented and creating more third places for ourselves.
The intro is insane 😭😭😂
LMFAOOOOO thank you 🤣
@@imuRgency I'm LIVING for your new intros they always makes me crack up
@@imuRgencyComing from a millennial, I love my alone time! So why socialize everytime I talked to someone I've always regretted it. Also people are so confusing and they Zapp alot of my energy. I love my peace.
@@uniquechallenges2478Omgosh yes, that's why all my interactions are intentional. However, I do still want to make more friends.
I feel like safety is also such a big concern now, unfortunately you have to always be on guard with strangers.. maybe thats a fear I have more intensely than others though 🤣🤣🤣
Especially for women because men think you're flirting with them and sometimes become creeps
I talk to people in real life. Especially with me being in college, it's harder to make friends since people already have their own "groups", which kinda sucks. I'm in clubs and activities around college, although I'm really shy, I still branch out and talk to people and it still fails. I'm in therapy but I think it's the sense of being exhausted. I'm working, in college, and focusing on my family. Who has the time? seems so draining.
girl same. i'm a freshman in college and i wouldn't even say i'm shy or introverted! people just don't want to talk anymore lol
lol I’m in college it gets better
@@Winner01562 I know I know, just speaking 😭
@@deborahanth3672 I feel ya!!
Same.
I’ve been struggling to make new friends after graduating from university in May but I’ve started to put myself out more as of not too long ago and it feels really good to have a social life again. I hope I make some new friends soon!
We are wayyyyy too car centric and sprawled, this I think, is one of the major factors.
I still say hi to random people out in public. I get ignored a lot 🤣 maybe they think I’m weird but I I don’t care. It’s weirder to walk by people on a hiking trail in total silence or to buy things at the store and not speak a word to the cashier. I don’t go out to make new friends all the time but I always try to be polite towards strangers and just be kind because I’ve worked customer service and often times in those jobs were just trying to hold ourselves together.
I go to church and make small talk with people and it’s so easy there or at work, without making any commitments to hang out with people at either of those places.
The only time I’m not talking to people in public is if I think they’re creepy/dangerous being weird from the start.
I don’t like to be stuck inside all day anyway, however I have stopped trying to hang out with friends lately bc im broke and have been all year and I’m exhausted after work/socializing at work all day too.
You sound like a really nice person. I love when people say hi to me first because it makes it a bit easier for me to have more positive energy when I say hi. If I say hi first, I sound really timid because I don’t know how people will respond.😂 I have social anxiety and I’m trying to have better body language and make eye contact more. It’s a little bit easier saying hi to older people. A lot of people in my age group look like their cat was hit by a car or having RBF. I’m sure some of them are struggling too so I’m trying not to judge. At the same time, it makes me realize how miserable I was not having more positive energy.
I don't know I would weirded out too unless there is a specific context. There's too much violence in the streets these days I cannot talk to a random
There is a saying i say multiple times. “The difference between introverts and extroverts is where they feel their battery charged, introverts charge by being alone and extroverts charge by being with people. What happened to me is that I was in the charger for so long without emptying my battery, that ruined mine”
I really know i have big issue connecting with people but now it got more and more difficult because my battery is ruined due to the pandemic (and i was unemployed) i hope we can change our battery to a new one
As an introvert, I have mostly had customer service jobs and I honestly hate them. But that's not the customer's fault so I would always smile and greet them and help in any way I can because it's my job (and sometimes I make their day and it feels nice). The real problem is that it's hard to find a job that isn't that. I assume a good amount of people don't want to be in those customer service-type jobs, but there aren't many options besides those. But again, no excuse to not do the job you were hired to do.
Same I've been a cashier for 5 years and of course most of my experience is in customer service. So many of my friends and family ask me how I deal with ppl because they personally couldn't do it. I tell them idk how I've been doing it lol it's hard 😅. But I'm trying to look for another job (not in a front facing role) but it's hard since I have the most experience in that😮💨
I’m literally autistic but was consistently told I had great social skills in high school because I would greet and talk to everyone…
I'm on the other side of the scale,I literally want to yap, but I can't,it's like my head is empty when I try,no thoughts kind of thing-
Why has it turned into venting.
(Sorry,lol.)
Social media is the McDonalds of social interaction - a quick fix via parasociality instead of a real meal of getting coffee with a friend.
I literally thought I had autism because of how difficult it is for me to socialize with people... and I've been thinking about this for the past 5 years. Maybe, I just have zero social skills because I have no friends, and it's hard for me to make friends because I have zero social skills. Idk what to do, I guess I just need to practice talking to strangers or something, like more small talk at the grocery store and stuff. Maybe I should try to find a hobby or something, so I have something I can passionately talk about in conversation when people ask "what are you up to lately?" or "what do you enjoy doing?", I don't want to tell them I'm a completely useless person who just sits all day watching videos because I don't have any friends to make plans with. LOL. youtube comment journaling... a classic. I've done it again.
I'm the same, for a few years now my biggest hobby has been watching YT videos and posting comments. I've been trying to start some hobbies again like reading and watching/reviewing movies. It's not a dramatic change but at least it's something outside of YT. Good luck to you~
I mean where the hell am I supposed to meet new people? At a bar? No thanks..
Try socializing with severe depression and anxiety
Bars are not the only place to meet people. It just takes more effort to find activities where you can socialize more. It's not going to be easy. I have social and generalized anxiety disorder. I got really tired of saying “I can’t do it because I’m terrified of people.” Weight loss is sort of what kick started my willingness to get uncomfortable and start talking to people more. It’s still really hard and I find myself getting emotional about it still.
@@LLCoolJ_25 I know it's not the only place but it feels like everyone is too disconnected not just me so even like the gym is useless for socializing..
In my experience at least.. I tried
Saying “Young people and Gen Z” makes my 2002 self feel old af
idk why i did that bc i def gave myself a complex too
Try 1998 lol. I'm a relic
me a cusper (1997) i might as well identify as a millennial atp
How do you think us 25+ folks feel? 😂
1989 here LOL 🙋🏾♂️🥴😂
i no longer sympathize with people crying and complaining when they want to put ZERO EFFORT in meeting new friends.
*stares in autism* O_O
i hate these conversations XD as it feels like for me in public places, i don’t meet anyone anyway. I can’t get to the places where people are with no transportation and i don’t have money to go to the places… i think thats the case for a lot of others (especially neurodivergent ones). in high school for my last two years i didn’t make any friends, or in college when i went either. i feel like i didn’t get the guidebook that everyone else got to social interactions. i’m also quite physically terrified of interacting with people as i cannot prepare a script in my head. i don’t know when or the correct way to try to befriend others irl… i dunno, there’s too many reasons to list for why interaction is extremely difficult for autistic people. just my 2 cents i guess, i hope everyone remembers their neurodiverse peers when making comments :)
As someone with a neurodiverse partner and as someone with mental illness, our solution has just been befriending other neurodiverse people lmao. I wish you luck in finding the connection you crave.
Eh, you can start by saying, "I'm autistic and a little weird." with a note of humor when you want to make friends.
Most people will forgive and forget 99% of weird behaviour even if you don't say that. People are weird too, it's not exclusive to you.
Find a hobby, a role play table, a game club etc.
As someone who has social anxiety and executive dysfunction issues, I can somewhat relate. It's best to find ppl through hobbies or interests if possible that would usually mean find a grp or club. Also when it comes to scripts, it's important to remember every get to know you script is basically the same or you should go about it the same. For me I keep like a list of talking points for this in my head. An example would be first convo, say hi, introduce yourself, get their name, get their age, find out hobbies/interests or passions, ask if they have pets, maybe see if they live in your city or near your neighborhood, get mini life update if convo lasts long. You can also add questions about school/career path or if they're married depending on how it goes.
Also what helped me, for my social anxiety was doing baby steps and also telling ppl about it right away so I would have to spend less time hiding it aka masking. As far as convos, just get used to approaching ppl who dress in a way you admire or have something you like, like if someone is walking around carrying a book you like you can strike up a convo about it or maybe just say something like, "That's a really good book, have you read it yet?".
So? I am too but I go out my way for friends.
That intro made my wig float off like I'm watching it float away right now
I try to make connections with people but they never put effort into conversations or, they have their own set friend group or we talk one day and never talk again. I’ve never really had friends that are MY friends, I’ve always been the “floater friend”. Always the one who talks too much but if I didn’t talk, who would? No one. People never really put effort into making conversation so I find it best to be by myself instead of feeling like a nuisance. But being a teenager with no friends is horrible, I hope and pray I find MY people someday.
This might sound very exaggerated, but I’m being 100% deadass frfr when I say in my 21 years of life I don’t think I’ve ever met irl another person who considered themselves an extrovert. I have met an OVERWHELMINGLY high amount of people who ARE self proclaimed introverts, homebodies, anti social. I feel like it has something to do with my age group, I’m gen z, WHERE ARE THE other 21 year olds who actually want to leave their houses!!! like this is my personal experience, but why does it feel like EVERY young adult, early 20’s peer in America introverted? Literally all of them 😭 like dude not a single one of you prefers to be social, hang out with friends, watch movies, and I know as young adults, we are all busy and broke, but I mean it seems like NO other 20-22 year old in America wants to LIVE and have friends! Unfortunately many of us don’t keep friends after high school, but then no one makes new ones? And we are all left with a few acquaintances from years ago who we hardly even text anymore, and we never leave the house. why is EVERYONE introverted.. we can’t all be introverts 😭I recently had to put myself out there literally, and it was a great experience! I was at a local annual summer festival type thing with music, food, games, beer, in my college town, so I went with my aunt and her boyfriend and broke off to get a beer at the beer tent, and I was like ah I lost her, so I’m kinda by myself. I went to a table of people who looked like they could go to the local college, so about my age, and introduced myself, asked if they went to the local college, some did I said I just wanted to hang out with people my own age, me and the whole group had some great conversations I met some really nice people :)) it’s not that hard in reality to do stuff like that. In our heads and hearts it might feel like the hardest thing in the world to put yourself out there like that, but you’ll never know if you don’t try!
I’m starting to crave human touch and human interaction. I have a big family, so I’m constantly talking to them. But when it comes to complete strangers, this is where I struggle with keeping up in conversations or I tend to zone out in the middle of the conversation.
Why should cashiers have to greet everyone if everyone is gonna ignore you n act like you didn’t say anything?that’s a waste of breath.. I speak when they need something that’s it no more friendly bs is waste of energy
At the end of 2019, I made the decision to delete my Snapchat (which was my main source of social media and connection). I didn’t like “watching” people live their lives without actually talking to them. After taking a break from people in general for a few years, I am much more intentional with my friendships and I actively reach out to people and chat via text or FaceTime, and vice versa, and omg it is SOO much better! Not having a social media account to “keep up” with friends is the best thing I ever did. Now I actually talk to them. And if I don’t, atleast I know where our relationship stands. Social media creates this false sense of closeness. It feels good, but it’s not real. It’s equivalent to eating chips for dinner. You just feel unfulfilled. I’m glad I’m past that period in my life.
I deleted my twitter last year and started an indefinite break from tiktok a few months ago. I got tired of "watching" people as well but it was even worse because it was people I didn't even know. Although mentally I feel better because I don't scroll for hours, I never really had friends so I still feel stuck in this area. I decided i'd rather eat nothing for dinner than chips which sucks but it's reality I guess.
@@aielianna when I started becoming intentional with reaching out to friends, I meant old friends that I lost touch with. I highly recommend this if you can. A lot of people love hearing from someone they haven’t spoken to in years.
That's so weird to me. I keep snapchat bc no one has albums and posting a story is a choice that will only show for 24 hours. I don't have a lot of ppl on their but also there's times where my wifi is much stronger so I use that plus there's ppl who aren't near me I talk to and have streaks with. Some of these ppl would probably forget to reach out if we didn't have streaks going. The only other thing I have is telegram and since my snapchat ppl don't want to convert to that I keep snapchat but it is helpful to me 😊.
@@SS-cu8se I switched schools a lot so I don’t have people that I was super close with. I feel like the relationships I did have sort of already served their purpose because I am a completely different person than I was in those friendships. I get what you’re saying but I have kinda given up in that area.
As an Ambivert who is what I call a 'Recovering Recluse', I think the biggest hurdle I have is the fact I'm just kind of afraid of people.
Like, a couple years ago, I went to a gay nightclub, hoping to be social, but felt terrified to fo any socializing, because I assume I am percieved as a straight Cis-male (I am none of the above), and didn't want to bother anyone. Thankfully, a more social guy talked to me and there was a small group of us hanging out that night.
In recent times, I have taken up volunteering at my local library, and that has yielded significantly better results.
I have made a friend or two, will be working tue book sale this weekend, and even talked with one of the head honchos of the volunteer group and asked her if she could answer some questions about what a Masters of Library Science is like (something I am considering).
We will be meeting in a couple weeks over coffee to talk book recommendations and what the experience was like.
Also, my pertner is (hopefully)oving i. Soon, and I talk to them about EVERYTHING. Having someone physically here will do WONDERS. And I'll have someone to practice femininity with! :D
I guess the lesson here is to find what works? I certainly feel more optomistic about my social prospects now than I did before, though I still have my aprehensions.
Here's to hoping your girl THRIVES in 2025.❤
Also, great video as always. You always deliver.
That sounds good. Also sounds like you arranged an informational interview which is super helpful for networking or just figuring out if a career is right for you. I did a handful of those when I was in uni 😊.
i am a social introvert and i deal with loneliness. it is now going better, but i seriously hate how nobody around me really asks me out to do something. they are waitiing until i say something otherwise they don't. i'm tired of being the one to make hangout sessions. even if it isn't that then people around my age are just rude and rather stay on their phone. i tried to talk to people even though i am awkward. or to convince them to stay off their phone and talk to eachother. or to ask them to do smething but they declined everytime. i am so jealous of my (way) older sisters and my mother because they where being teens in a time where it was normal to be social.
i do need to say that i am an european. we have a lot of homework to do or having a sidejob but this seems to me personal. also people need to stop saying that introversion = being anti-social. also i do have the feeling that a lot of introverts use their battery being empty as an excuse to not hang out.
sometimes i am being alone for such a long time that i don't know how to be social. it sucks truly
Its so hard to make friends my age when so many just care about useless bullshit I have no interest in discussing lmaooo
Older friends has been the solution.
Being social and extroverted is in? 😂😂😂*laughs in introvert*
I didn’t get the memo lol
same
yeah people over ya'll being annoying narcissists
"Just go outside and talk with people"
*goes outside*
*talks with people*
*nobody wants you around*
*you keep trying*
*people still don't want you around*
Back home it is then 😂
This. When covid calmed, I went out & would try to strike up random social interactions out & about to get some basic socialization. No different than what I did all the yrs before. Was not recieved well at all & had me in a state like "wtf are ppl on now?" Crazy looks, passive or even openly aggressive behavior, snobbery. It's a totally different social atmosphere now.
i don't talk to people because iv ben burned by humanity bullied for being gay bullied for being a type one diabetic bullied for being biracial no one but my partner an a few family members make me feel safe to talk to
honestly, i got tired of constantly spending all my money to be around people and places i genuinely did not care for. i realized a while back that i had a lot of friends i had never been sober around, i had a lot of friends who wouldn't even come unless they knew there would be substance or something to gain for themselves out of the social interaction. i just got tired of being taken advantage of by people who call me their friend
The loss of the formerly suffocating social obligations to be present at EVERY gathering at work or family life is a good thing overall. But I do wish that we had some balance. It feels like people have given in to instant gratification culture and decided that whenever they don't feel like going to something they'll just skip it. But I think they forget that 9 times out of 10 if you suck it up and go anyway you'll probably have a good time. If you like the people going you should push through and just do it. I've been doing it in my life and it definitely works. The only thing bringing me down is how many people cancel last minute or just don't respond to invites or try to be involved in anything at all. Humans are social creatures and we've somehow forgotten that.
On a more political note, the loss of community makes it easier for us to be exploited. A workplace where no one is friends with their co-workers is a workplace that management can run with impunity because workers don't know information about each other and they are unlikely to unionise or push back collectively. The same goes for stuff at the local and national level. I know people are going to push back and say that their desire for social isolation is a result of late stage capitalism and being overworked and underpaid. But in many ways the causal link goes both ways. We let them trick us into giving up community for a chance at becoming rich during the Reagan and Thatcher era. We left unions and abandoned community groups for the suburbs. We raise our wages by moving company every two years instead of unionising and fighting back. So in many ways, part of the reason we're overworked and underpaid is precisely because we don't want to make those connections anymore!
Edit: the thing about work is also so important. People spend a third of their entire lives at work! If you have no social life at work in any way then that might be how you like it but I know that would kill me. Imagine spending a third of your life doing hard boring work and not even having casual acquaintances to blow off steam with in the break room. Yes work relationships can be more dangerous. But no risk no reward.
Spot on 🎯🎯🎯
Hmm, I’m an introvert who wants to be an extrovert and socialize more which I’m working on doing lol. However I also don’t want to talk to every single person and I feel like that should be respected. that there is just certain people on certain days that I just don’t want to interact. And people who feel entitled to talk/ wanting to interact with other people, that to me is a little weird. But I understand needing and wanting to talk to others.
This intro is 🔥🔥this vid came at a perfect time for me bc I realized I love making new connections so I signed myself up for cheerleading (again) at 25!😂
As a Gen Z I am lonely but not because I’m antisocial. Where I live I’m THE ONLY young gay man I don’t have any gay friends. All of my male friends are straight and I dont have anyone to relate to. And I’m 20 so I really can’t do anything until next year. Not gonna lie I just stay in my room most of the time reading and watching tv. I would like to have a clique of friends but I have too much to worry about. I’m always at work as well. So that plays a huge part in my loneliness. I work all night shifts so by time I go to sleep I don’t wake up until 3-4 in the afternoon then I have to head right back to work. Also being the only young gay guy where I live I’ve had some situations with some creepy old men. I’m not looking for a relationship at all but I would like to have a best friend that I can hang out with and talk to.
Is there a larger town or city in driving distance you can get to with some type of lgbtq+ community? It seems more than ever now there is some visibility in more rural areas.
THISSSSS REAL BAD
@@pisceanbeauty2503 not really there’s a gay section in the city but I have to be 21 to get in anywhere.
You don't have to befriend people who are the same sexuality as you. You can perfectly befriend straight people
I'm a younger millennial but I've definitely noticed a huge change in the culture of those just a few years younger than me. There's a lot of antisocial tendencies for sure that the internet and technology have seemed to normalize. Bullying is always a problem for younger generations but new advancements in tech have made it even more easier for people to choose hatred over genuine connection. Forging real connections takes time and I know there are other obstacles, too, but it's definitely true: technology and social media provide such instant gratification, kids now are used to having things now now now and it's addicting. They're allowed to be on their phones and laptops all day, even in school (just ten years ago when I went to school this was not a thing).
There is less and less room for drawing healthy boundaries due to lack of regulation and younger ppl are so used to having a lot more that they seem to feel entitled to your space (hence filming ppl without permission, the rise in cell phone spying, etc.).
3:13 yes my bowl of pasta tastes good, (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ
Unfortunately, people still don't understand what introversion and being an introvert really is. 😮💨 😞
YES. Introverts are NOT antisocial
On your note about folks on the bus can someone tell me if they’ve experienced this too?
I’ve noticed lately people will be talking just loudly on the phone, particularly on the bus or public spaces in general and cars are very impatient when pedestrians are crossing the street. I’ll be middle of crossing the street and a car that needs to turn will speed past as soon as I’m out of hitting range and not wait for the turn light to turn.
Omg, I’ve cussed out so many drivers, I probably look bat shit to people.😭 But like…they’re trying to kill me!!
Ppl have def become crazier on the roads the last few yrs. In my city, ppl running red lights are now the norm. It's not one or 2 here & there either. Almost every main intersection, you can guarantee 1-5 cars (I wish I was exaggerating) will gun straight through well after the light turns red. Just yesterday, someone 2 cars ahead decided they were tired of waiting for the light to change & went on ahead when there was a break in cross traffic. There's ppl getting t-boned left & right out here from light runners.
I’m 16. For 3 years now it’s just been so lonely. I read and stay in the house a lot I do try to go out and make friends but Everytime I ride my bike everyone is just rude or doesn’t walk to talk, it’s hard meeting new people. There’s no place to go to hang, we get yelled at when we’re at parks, or when we’re at a library we get yelled at because of what? I just don’t understand. It feels like it will be like this forever. I wish people wanted to be friends and wanted to talk. I do online to. Shits just intoxicating, all of this
Yes! YES! I have been finding it really hard to navigate college, trying to maintain a relationship with my best friend, and just talk about what I'm going through. And it's even harder being an ambivert and people not always understanding that my social battery fluctuates sometimes without warning, but I'm really trying to make an effort to just talk to people. I just want to be okay really.
Something I’ve noticed with my young adult friends living in the suburbs is that either no one has time or money to spend on going to “hangout” spots like the gym which 50% of people don’t even like to attend on their own, or they don’t want to participate in risky, dangerous behavior
People will isolate themselves from everyone, bury themselves in their own insecurities and problems, sit quietly in their struggle, they are not even trying to change anything and then complain about “loneliness epidemic”. And then when you’re trying to talk to people they will show with their whole being how uninterested and uninvested they are in talking to you. And then you think the problem is you. But no, people are just so lazy these days they find it “so mentally challenging” to even go outside. I understand that not everyone can afford to participate in socialising activities such as gym, art clubs and stuff but people spend so much time online. Majority of internet drama is just TikTok drama. Almost every commentary channel I watch starts their videos with “I saw this discussion on TikTok”… when you realise how many of these problems are not real you will feel the weight lifted off your chest. And suddenly the world isn’t that evil. All I’m trying to say is open your mind! Get help! Go outside! Don’t whine online.
You’ve literally made me feel so much better about this! I felt guilty about “quitting” on people that purposely push me away, but I’ve gotten to a point to where I can only do so much with these type of people because keeping them in my life gets very draining and makes me question my worth. I wish the best of luck for them, but I still need to choose me and accept that I’ve tried!
as long as it doesn't happen to you, it doesn't exist
For the love of god the antisocial refusal to use headphones in public is driving me insane. It’s so rude to force a subway car full of people listen to your violent video games-it’s bad enough to fear actually getting harmed in public which is a very real concern, but having to listen to screams and weapons, or even just bad music and TikToks without being able to even escape a moving vehicle, is so beyond irritating. It’s 2024-there has never in the history of the world been more headphones available for purchase. People refusing to use them are the worse.
As someone with painful social anxiety I can still say hello to people at work 😂
I used to be a social butterfly, but then childhood trauma and friendship ptsd caught up to me lol. It doesn't help that therapy is expensive af
Hearing that difficulties with socialising are increasing for young people kind of make me feel like finally I'm fitting with the trend at the moment, as a millennial who's always been super introverted and socially anxious 😅
I'm 25 and I barely socialize, because I just cannot connect with people. I barely talk to my family because I'm socially awkward and find it difficult to express myself freely. Unfortunately, i have to be more sociable if I want to do a PhD, and the idea is terrifying. I love being alone and not engaging with people.
I'm the same way
I relate to this so much.
Same
The economy is a huge reason too though. Friends I hang with hang when we do something that is free such as playing sports or something. But to get a group to go out to eat or something is super less common because everything is too pricey
So well said. I agree with every word. I’ve felt this way for the last few years and it is so validating to see the tide shift like this.
There’s something to the boomer line “get off your phones” maybe without the smugness but we should get out and play. As a teacher I feel so old fashion because I’ve seen how awful phones and iPads are for learning and socializing.
I love all of the global pandemic and quarantine. I had already established a virtual community group for older Gen Zers, therefore it came into glorious timing. I come from a shrinking family. For that period in life, i wasn't constantly the string puller in my relationships. When i do go out and attempt at socializing, 1000% goes in and I am the puppet master. It gets exhausting .
I thought I found a solid group that consisted of two people, but a depression happened, I recovered. I reached out to both just to catch up nothing happened. I think about them everyday.
I am naturally to myself in social settings,although my presence is lous, my social engagement is really quite and soft. It can be asocial. 😅
I joined in community based activities, its only been good for that, it never realky turnt to 1 or two people actually being a fruend, just someone I see at that particular activity.
I agree, but I think this is a part of growing up. Idk what it’s like to be in K-12 nowadays, but I assume it’s hella different (im 23 lmaooo). Though, I still think they force socialization to happen for young people of certain age groups. However, it’s just a fact of life that getting older is lonely. It doesn’t have to be, but it comes with it. I think people just need balance between their need for external validation and solitude. The internet is not a real place fr, though, and emulates interaction that is short lived.
I consider myself an introvert, but let me tell you i've joined some grpups and I've been OUT LOL. I still need a day to be a lump, but I agree it's helped a lot.
This Lonliness epidemic is the result of late stage capitalism. Karl Marx wrote about atomization and alienation deeply baked within the economic machine.
I think my introversion comes from always being made to stay in the house in my teen years to watch my siblings.. then you become an adult and don’t know wtf to do because you spent so much of your life raising kids instead of being one
I reject speaking to people that are blind to the reality. They are a waste of energy. The money is fucking broken and people are too stupid to realize they trading with Monopoly money. If the money wasn’t broken than everything else wouldn’t be in turmoil
i think for the first time in my life im not lonely. it took me getting kicked out of my mom's house
i had no way to get to school, i didn't have a drivers license and my dad worked hectic hours. i ended up reaching out to a friend that i has grown apart from. since school started we've became best friends and hang out all the time. it's been so amazing to spend an hour everyday just talking.
maybe the internet is so negative because of why we use it. Like, maybe some people are just going through it and they think whatever they do in the internet won't do anything, but everyone sees them being negative. I think?
I think the main thing is a lot of people think that they have to be initiated. And also a lot of people act like texting doesnt matter but its a bit frustrating when i pay 25 dollars a month for a phone bill and the people who are apparently my "best buddies" hate texting.
The extroverts listened and stopped inviting/chasing after the introvert or faux-introverts😂
17:28 I honestly prefer cloudy rainy days and light snow over sunny days. Those conditions may make it harder for people to go outside but I honestly prefer that environment.
One cashier doesn’t say hello and it triggers a whole TikTok trend. Wow.
Nah, because I be watching his videos nowadays just fir the skits in the beginning ngl
Because I don’t like smoking weed or drinking alcohol like my friends do. I get along with Christians more
3:20 your videos make my food taste better thank you!!
The best option is be homeless I swea that shit gets you talking with other homeless people because I’m doing it right now or do customer service jobs
Too bad, people are just objects and I am the only one that is real.
Cool advice but what 3rd place am I supposed to do that in they got rid of them all besides I’m too busy working so I don’t starve to hang out
As an introvert.
Being an introvert has never been popular.
Being an extrovert has always been the social norm.
While I do see being introverted as a term being used more. Being actually introverted never has and never will be popular.
It's extroverts trying to be "different" by calling themselves introverts are the only ones suffering from social isolation.
nobody calls themselves an extrovert so if you are just going by that then waaaay more people dwell on being an introvert. it's not real science tho, u kno.
yeah i felt called out ;i stopped mid crunch haha
Gen Z??? Pssh, this is hitting Millennials too
my social defecit isnt cause im gen z its cause im super autistic 💔
One more thing that i noticed people ARE NOT HAPPY overall, most can barely afford to even THINK! let alone live life and have TIME to invest in friendship.
Living in NYC and n.j im very privileged but most wont do whats necessary to CREATE an ideal life.
One thing will always be true, misery loves comapny.
Dumb vid not all people need to be social
Ill say this im a millennial at 36 and I experienced life before social meadia. My form of meeting people especially women was cold approaching and/or dive bars in NYC.
Women were horrible before and i can imagine its MUCH worst now due to the fact women are the ones taking the most antidepressants.
I did meet wonderful women where we would have conversations and continue to meet up but it simply would fade away. Besides this most relationship would end up bad because women were so unstable and simply unhappy.
My life is perfect thank god, it took MANY sacrifice to be at this point, however i RATHER be alone travel the world by myself instead of living a miserable life.
Im glad god is in my life because he has blessed me so much
My issues with socailizing with people come from me being neurodivergent (Autism,ADHD AND OCD) the only time i'm oit being looked down upon or bullied for simply being who I am is when im around other nuerodivergent people and I'm saying this as some who finally found some Autistic friends when I turned 18 so yeah I was a lonely kind for the first 17 years of my life.
Money- we all struggling
It's not like I don't talk to people at all but I always feel like people are judging me. I feel like a loser when I'm just out and about by myself and see a group of people my age together. Happend more than once that they just kind of snickered at me for whatever reason, I'm already so insecure about my looks eventhough I don't look particularly ugly. I try to telll myself that it's all in my head and then something happens that proves to me that other people ARE judging me, it's humiliating.
This is why I put an active effort into talking to strangers. Met my bf irl bc I went to a concert alone! We ended up being next to each other in line, and I usually make an effort to speak to people I line up with. It can be natural and easy, I know it sounds hard, and I've been through a HELL OF A LOT (and I'm autistic), so trust me I know, but you really do need to put yourself out there. Learn about yourself and curate your experience to reflect that.
I feel like casual acquaintance-ships just don't exist for gen z . Every social interaction seems to be extremely loaded by the weight of making a good impression, and the consequences really are dire. Getting talked about on the national news because you tripped or laugh weirdly shouldn't be a consequence of going outside.
There's also a gap in social education that can only partially be blamed on the pandemic. Gen z is the first generation fully raised under constant supervision. The late millennial children of helicopter parents were the first wave in the 10s. We're seeing full scale repercussions now in gen z, and it won't look so great for gen alpha either.
I say all of this as a millennial with cptsd caused (in part) by hyper surveillance in my childhood. What was uncommon in my 20s seems to be standard now, and knowing how hard it is to work through... it's going to be tough on a societal level.
I don’t know how to socialize because I’ve been an introvert, and I’ve been around too many shitty people so I don’t trust anyone. I’m pretty sure I’m autistic misdiagnosed with BPD.
The people we’ve tried to have as friends (we’ve made the efforts and plans, but at this point we don’t care who stays and who goes) socially and online:
1 tried to manipulate, harass, stalk, and blackmail my wife
1 spread rumors, manipulated, belittled, and sent a bogus cease and desist to threaten
1 flipped, bullied, manipulated, and gossiped
1 threatened, gaslit, and ghosted
1 gaslit, spread rumors, manipulated friendships, held titles over heads, deflected and projected as a narcissist
1 (closest) started receiving pictures from my ex (while he was in a relationship) that was stalking us from a different state than him for information about my family, turned when confronted, said terrible things, and wished the worst on our family. Haven’t spoken to since years later
1 only asked to hang and do thing when it fit them 🤷♂️
We’ve tried it, but people just ain’t built the same anymore smfh
Im a millennial... Didn't get my first smartphone till like 2014, Used to talk to people face to face... Still do, Don't have tik tok, Instagram or twitter .. I have never been lonely... I have had the same buddies from primary school and im now in my 30s... When did the world 🌎 become so weird.
I mean... can you blame us the world is messed up this environment is just bad.
From my experience it's like there probably is no point of life anymore.
Currently I'm 20. Not in college, no job. I'm still at home, but I'm trying to figure out what im going to do. I want to find what I want to do in life along with making friends, but I can't do that because of my very bad anxiety, and that's due to my past experiences with other people. Bad friendships, bad relationships, treated like garbage by people and teachers. Been harrassed by random people.
Recent years had been sh*t because of money being low. Holidays aren't even fun anymore.
for me it’s more so about finding the right people who are goal oriented and striving for something rather then discussing pointless drama and bs. Im 17 and in my last year of hs and back in elementary and middle school I use to be so social and talkative but I guess people got annoyed and other events just lead up to me not being social anymore and just being a recluse with only a few friends and acquaintances. i am however slowly regaining social skills and the confidence to just walk up to people and strike a convo but it’ll take time but then again though I do prefer being introverted with only a few people in my circle….
In the midwest the young kids working in customer service won't say a word. It's extremely awkward and ruins the vibe especially when the customer is talking to them and they don't respond. Grow some cajones and say hello. It's not hard.
Technology has a lot to do with it, but the larger pull in the last decade has been political. Not being able to trust people next to you/give people a chance, because one political comment could lead south quick and personally
I found my person, and we hunkered down together. We hang out with a couple people every now and then, but nearly never in a large group setting. We’ve tried it, but people tend to be foul, unfortunately
I worked cable for 3 years, and nearly lost the ability to talk to people in general. 3 years of the same small talk at each house, having to dodge personal/political questions since I’m in someone’s house for an hour+, and hostility of the social climate in general. Have felt I need to read a book or something, but just haven’t given it the time 🤷♂️
It’s more frustrating when you’re physically disabled and you honestly feel like a bit of an outsider growing up. I had a lot of orthopedic surgeries and I was homeschooled due to anti-vaccine parents because my respiratory system is shit.
Socializing feels rather confusing to me. I feel like I’m always reaching out to people and people don’t really put an effort into reaching out to me first. And it makes me feel like I’m bothering people and they hate me and are mad at me. I don’t really get invited anywhere and it honestly made me cry sometimes. But I can’t say anything because I don’t want people to hang out with me due to pity. This is why I hate it when people say “let’s hang out sometime “ but they don’t mean it. Especially after the pandemic where I couldn’t do anything. (Please don’t treat people like this).
And I don’t think it’s really projection to say that it’s partly other people’s fault for lack of social skills because socialization is a 2 way street. If you’re not making an effort to engage with people and invite them to things, you are not really sending a positive signal that you like this person even if they’re a little odd.
My prevideo opinion: ummm other countries dont care abt cashiers smiling at them - or standing. Theyre allowed to just do their fucking job and leave! I think thats totally fine, dont expect min wage workers to be happy at their daily exploitation 😮
You know what- there's a concept of "dummy school" in my country for last two years of school. In this system, I don't need to go to school but rather study via some other institution in order to study for just examinations. Obviously it's fine for that top 5% students that aren't interested in sports and other extra activities but the problem arises when someone copies them and choses a dummy school for themselves. this happens at the age of 15-18~19 . Here, the problem is that at the time of your life where you're supposed to create the bonds forever in your life, you're instead in your home or most probably in a library - just taking input and puting it out in tests. You don't have anyone to be "new friends" because you left the school and most probably no time to hang out/chill with your existing mates because every week you're having a mock test. It's not like even if you get into just the prestigious university, your life will be good- you'll be left with no friends, not much physical activity and become trapped in constant cycle of just studying. Don't take these kinda options if you're NOT in the 4-5%.